<xulon> sex? life? I'm sorry I'm afraid I'm not familiar with either concept

<xulon> "build a man a fire and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he's warm for the rest of his life :)"

* xulon mounts the head of the conversation on a small plaque and hands it to Neelix

* xulon licks EBE back, staples his tongue to the door, then leaves

* xulon uses two of Demos' fish in the fish slapping dance

<xulon> it would be even better if I had any idea what I was doing :)

* xulon performs a ritual to cast out snot demons

* xulon throws peer in the garden shredder

* xulon wonders whether werewolves turn back into people during an eclipse

*** xulon is now known as ekzulon

* xulon thinks the eclipse is plot conceived by chiropracters

*** loki has quit IRC (dop)
<Ciara> night loki
<Demos> badoki
* Demos pouts
<xulon> me hits the d in the dop with a small hammer, rotating it 180 degrees, then hands it to demos

<Mare> f*ck.the.world....
* Caitlin fucks the world
* xulon doesn't have appropriate protection for that

* xaverlex loves the centrelink people.........just so damned friendly......and funny! what a great sense of humour they all have!!!
* xulon 's sarcasm detector takes out a small village

<stodge> xuul: do you speak Sumerian?
<xuul> ghdfgs erywiuer hfjsdfh
<xuul> that translates to "no"
<Mikey5-0> Really? Sounds like authentic sumerian to me :)
*** xuul is now known as xulon
* stodge witami grudel skemi?
* xulon peers at stodge
<xulon> how could you say that sort of thing about Wotcha?

* xulon dons a cheerleader outfit and sings Oh Mickey, you're so fine, etc.., etc
* Demos hopes dave shaved his legs
* xulon quickly gets changed back again and looks embarrassed

<gosh> xulon! obsi says you smell!
* xulon puts a peg over his nose... there... I can't any more

<xulon> ahhh... merchant bankers... (rhyming slang)

* ajf tries to throw a knife at gosh but it sticks in a wall some seven metres away.
<xulon> that's not a wall
* gosh knew ajf was only pretending to be lethargic
<PeachdEgg> ow!
* xulon extracts the knife from between his eyes
* PeachdEgg kisses xulon better
<xulon> awww, thanks :)
* gosh gives Xulon another $5 note
* xulon tries not to bleed onto PeachEgg too much

* xulon picks up a sword... but realises the penis mightier than the sword

<xulon> I was vacuuming in the nude, and I slipped and fell on the autowanker machine that someone had carelessly left out

<xulon> alpha beta gamma delta episilon... buggered if I know the rest... omega

* xulon lurks in the recycle bin, cos no-one ever gets around to emptying it

<xulon> Greater Bunion... that show a lot of footage?

* xulon collapses in paroxysms of laughter at the slightest hint of a tickle, and is therefor totally inadequate as a shield

* xulon also gets false alarms when people talk about anything seXUal :)

* GG-xulon denies that he is off his face :)

* xulon trades in his personality, and wanders away happily eating the peanut he got for it

<TiredKaji> xulon, whatever... just remind me a hundered times to bring them!
<TiredKaji> :)
<xulon> Kaji: bring the photos :)
<TiredKaji> lol
* xulon . o 0 ( 99 )

* xulon hands PokeyBun a furious tautology policeman cat
* PokeyBun frowns at xulon's comment and decides she has no idea what he's on about
* xulon looks at xulon's comment and thinks the same thing, but without the "about"

* xulon thwaps the internet... "Stupid internet... be more quicker"

* Neelix has been reading the GG hilights... :-)
* xulon notes the number of sections with titles about "xulon's drinks" or "drunk xulons" :)

*** vampxulon changes topic to '#atbuffy: good people, good food'

* xulon watches as an LED on his choccy detector starts blinking
 * xulon drools on cue :)~~~
* loki puts a bib on xulon
* Demos fwaps xulon with the cue
* xulon rolls into the corner pocket

<schon> this dyslexia's gonna be the death of me
<gosh> hehee
<xulon> this dyslexia's gonna be the headt of me...

* Obsidian is a sad case.. ignore her
<xulon> Obsi: unless any of us is xaverlex?

* xulon notices Mare isn't here, so explodes in Wotcha's face on her behalf :)

<xulon> haven't actually put it in yet... think I might need to get a new IDE cable
<xulon> that I can daisy chain it with...
* Sorontar plucks daisies for Xulon
* xulon is very apprehensive about messing about with his computer's innards anyway
 * Sorontar places daisies inside Xulon's PC
<Obsidian> hehehe
* Obsidian watches as the daisies cause the pc to spark and blow up
* xulon sings "all the little flowers are happy"
* Sorontar . o O ( maybe poppies are needed for virtual machines )
* Sorontar gives Xulon opium for his virtual drive
<xulon> hmmmm... now it's smoking
<Demos-work> messing round with pc innards is fun
* Sorontar builds a shrubbery inside Xulon's PC
* xulon chops Sorontar down with a herring
* Sorontar baulks the seafood

*** Christian is now known as RogerExplosion
 * xulon thinks it would be unwise to try to roger an explosion

* dishesxulon returns victorious in his battle with the saucepan the bolognese sauce was made in :)
 *** dishesxulon is now known as xulon

* xulon hands Tori a compensatory "Bug oki and emos for free" card

* xulon . o 0 ( Fred savage is great at fucking computers? )

*** Mare is now known as CC
* xulon dips Mare in salsa

*** Jaspar is now known as PumpkinMan
 *** PumpkinMan is now known as PumpkinBoy
<PumpkinBoy> sorry
<PumpkinBoy> overstating myself a tad there
 * xulon contemplates making a pun about butternuts, but decides against it

*** Tori has quit IRC (Ping timeout for Tori[per1-36.vianet.net.au])
<EBE> Ack!
<xulon> eek...
* xulon hugs the Tori shaped gap in the channel :/

* Vampxulon looks for a low fat high calcium alternative to blood

 * xulon makes a fool of himslef for melinka's amusement
 * melinka looks at xulon
<melinka> wtf??!
 * xulon look embarrassed and stops

* xulon offers Cait a shoulder and neck massage
* xulon likes IRC... he can pretend he knows how to massage :)

<xulon> you want the sex over quickly?

<xulon> danged subconscious... always doing stuff I don't want it to do...

<xulon> Dsthenes: That's impossible. No matter how devoid of sexual innuendo things might seem to be, someone will always manage to get it in

* xulon wander away before he can get qwertytis

<xulon> gosh: one of my friends claims he has an invisible tattoo on his forehead that only weirdos can see that says "Please talk to me while I;m trying to read"
<xulon> you musrt have one of those too

* xulon picks up the steel wool, and knits himelf a car

* WetKaji boils the kettle
* xulon imagines Kaji placing a kettle into a large saucepan full of boiling water

* xulon . o 0 ( if a tree beats you to death in the forest, does it make a sound? )

 <Misty> fucking dogs !!! brb
* xulon suddenly thinks of a DAAS song for some reason

<xulon> that's the problem with a lot of alcohol... it gets to be leg crossing time pretty quickly

* xulon amuses himself by starting an argument that 1980 was part of the 70s because there was no year 0, then runs away and refuses to participate

* tiredkaji was going to have a shower but there's a spider in there!
<xulon> Kaji: you'd better make it hurry up, or it'll use all the hot water

* xulon wonders where he can get a virus
<xulon> !virus
 * Wotcha infects xulon with the ebola virus
<xulon> ack
* xulon dies horribly and painfully

* xulon reminds Pokeybun to say witty things while Obsi is here :)

<xulon> Obsi: face it... you're gorgeous :)

* xulon . o 0 ( I used all my sick days, so I called in dead )

* xulon recalls seeing ads for Jimmy Barnes greatest hits album "HITS" which were wrapped one after the other around poles so it looked like this.... HITSHITHITSHIT...

<xav> ah shit.......raining on my mouspad
*** xulon changes topic to 'shit rains on xav's mousepad'

Taken from Wotcha Stats: "nothing says "I love you" like a roll of duct tape"

* Fleeced pokes ajf in adherence with God's law - for it is written, "Poke ajf on a a regular basis, that it may go well with you into the next life. Those who poke ajf shall not suffer the second death - the death of fire"
<xulon> that's because the death of knife will get them first
<Fleeced> But the Lord also warns, "In those last days, there shall be xulons who tempt you away from poking the ajf.  His words will trick many - even the elect, if that were possible.  Pay no attention to him, for poking the ajf gives you a warm fuzzy feeling all over"
* ajf throws a warm, not so fuzzy knife at Fleeced's chest.
* Fleeced pulls the knife out of his chest - for the Lord protects those who poke the ajf