January 19, 2008
January 26, 2008
January 28, 2008
March 10, 2008
January 19, 2008
January 26, 2008
January 28, 2008
March 10, 2008
Like I said, I�ve only just started; I just left the small town of Beladum, a quiet, peaceful little town with quiet, peaceful BGM in which it would appear that someone occasionally kills a chicken. (Is Link in town?) It�s populated with overly nice and helpful townsfolk who automatically believe in the goodwill of two total strangers who waltz into town and claim to be travelers from the future. It�s that kind of mentality that�s going to get the town torn to bits within the next century.
Anyway, I don�t have anything in particular to say, except for one small detail that bothered me: What the hell is up with the pictures Tornix has hanging around his house? Check it out:
...Is that a purple Sherlock Holmes? What the hell? Does Tornix have some crazy obsession with old detective stories? And why is he purple? A cursory glance at the character sprites shows that they had no problem creating a suitable skin pigment, so why would they decorate Tornix's home with purple Sherlock Holmeses?
Where did Tornix get so damn many paintings of a purple Holmes, anyway? Maybe they're the Velvet Elvis or Dogs Playing Poker of the ToP-verse; they just spawn randomly at garage sales, and no one knows where they came from. And Tornix has some bizare preocuppation with those things, because it's not like normal paintings aren't available. I saw a couple flower paintings around Belladum that seemed fairly normal. Granted, that was a hundred years in the past; maybe that was before the evolution of the purple Holmes.
Klarth, by contrast, appears to have a learning disability. He simply cannot resist casting Undine on every water-based enemy we run into, even though Gnome and Ifrit are both more powerful. It seems like he's actually avoiding using Summons that have an advantage against the enemies we're fighting.
Plus, his interpretation of "Conserve TP" is "Spam the second most powerful Summon." His TP bar is almost always empty. I'M NOT MADE OF ORANGE GUMMIES, KLARTH. FUCKING PACE YOURSELF.
Not only that, but his character outside of battle is not too bright. Here's a direct quote from the game that, unfortunately, I missed getting screenshots of:
Lia: He destroyed my father...and my mother.
Klarth: Well, let�s get going.
NICE, KLARTH. Way to comfort the traumatized girl.
So, yes, I've determined that the spunky comic relief girl's intellect is vastly superior to that of the old scholar character. Old scholar character is a dumbass. Here is further evidence to support this claim: Exhibit A.
It's called reading, Klarth. You know, like what normal people do with those books you carry around. Oh, wait, I forgot, your books are a little bit...special:
That's right, kids! One of Klarth's weapons is a Porno Magazine. Yaay!
Um, anyway, on to Exhibit B:
Is that sarcasm I detect, Arche?
*Muffled laughter* I rest my case.
One of the things I love about Tales of Phantasia is that it doesn�t censor itself. If it�s going to swear or make crude jokes, it�s damn well going to do it. Case in point:
Indeed they do, small child. Indeed they do.
Miranda responds by calling him a �stupid, stupid, stupid man,� because she is apparently in preschool.
I also love all of the dorky jokes interspersed throughout the game, rather like Earthbound.
Teehee.
And I have to admit, in spite of all the Klarth-bashing that took place the day before yesterday, I can't help but like him as a character.
Um, Klarth? They're RIGHT THERE. I'm pretty sure they can hear every word you're saying.
RIGHT FREAKING THERE, KLARTH.
Something that'll make Klarth smarter? Sign me up!
Oh, wait, was I trying to illustrate that I like Klarth? Whoops. My bad.
I adore Arche as well, because she makes me laugh like no other.
Wow, Ship Captain Guy has standards. That's kind of refreshing. I had my doubts for a second there, though.
...Um. Did this turn into "When Harry Met Sally" When I wasn't looking? Also, notice that the bartender doesn't even bat an eye at this. He is apparently used to young girls randomly orgasming in his bar.
Whoa there, Arche. Don't scare the fandom.
Then again, considering the state of most fandoms, I'd imagine that the ToP fandom in general loves this as much as I do.
Now that I think about it, Arche's tendency to hit on every male she runs into seems rather familiar...I can only imagine what would happen if Arche were to meet Zelos; I have a feeling it'd be like dividing by zero.
That said, one thing I really dislike about Tales of Phantasia is the writers' laziness, which leads to logical fallacies and general bizarrity. For example, why is everyone in the world so goddamn trusting?
In case you weren't sure, the next word is LIFE. These people just broke into his only heir's bedroom in the middle of the night, and (considering that they'd just been in a fight) were presumably discovered standing over the prince with their weapons drawn. And the king is willing to place his trust in them because "I had a feeling you weren't really after my son's life"? No wonder Dhaos is taking over! The world leaders here are dumb as rocks!
More twisted logic:
It hasn't been discovered yet? Then how the hell do you even know about it?
And, finally, we have...
...Christianity in a Japanese fantasy game. Okay. That's weird, but I can go with it. What gets to me in this picture is the warrior goddess statues in the back. I for one have never seen Christian depictions of female angels with weapons, especially not ones that are as sexy as those are. Their skirts are slit up to their hip, for God's sake! That doesn't exactly scream "Good Christian women" to me.