Steambot Chronicles

Of course, the game never uses the word "mech" or "mecha" or anything like that. No, it has to be unique - it calls its mechs Trotmobiles. To me, they could not have come up with a sillier name, even if they were called EngelbertHumperdinkmobiles. Trotmobiles don't move at anything resembling a trot in any way, shape, or form - especially not the ones with wheels.

You get a fair amount of time to determine this, because while exploring towns, you have nothing to do but sit and watch your Trotmobile move around. You don't get to control it; just point it in a direction and it goes. I suppose that that's a good thing in its own boring way; since you have to obey traffic laws, it'd become a Driver game with mechs if I was in control. The felony bar would constantly be full, and then maybe that goddamn cop directing traffic will get a clue as to what's going on.

Of course, Trotmobiles aren't the only source of gameplay. You can also buy various instruments that the main character - Vanilla - can easily play without any sort of training. (Except the accordion. That thing is a bitch to play.) This would be a fantastic minigame if it weren't for the fact that all of the songs suck. They're all nerve-grating, cheesy, sappy garbage, and they sound almost exactly alike. "I Cry" is a particularly cringe-worthy song.