The family I'm currently playing is called the Sevens, and consists of Tifa and Aeris (married), Reno and Rude (married), and Vincent and Yuffie (I'm trying to get Yuffie to propose). Aeris is getting depressed because she works during the day (She's on the scientific career path - currently a test subject), and Tifa, as a member of the mob, works at night. I had to get her to flirt with Yuffie to cheer her up.
Yuffie's a pickpocket who once got her pocket picked, so I suppose her skills are fairly close to canon. Vincent used to be a scientific test subject, but has since been promoted to lab assistant. In spite of that, he tends to get molested pretty frequently by some random scientist guy who pops in now and then. He's also clearly insane; I can't figure out why he keeps talking to a volleyball. Maybe it would make sense if he was lonely, but no, he's sharing a room with Yuffie, who has a tendency to walk around in her underwear. He should be talking to her, not some freaky painted volleyball that popped out of nowhere.
Oh, also, I'd like to point out that pickpockets and test subjects apparently carpool together. Possibly they're going to the same general area; I don't know. I didn't even know that pickpockets carpooled anywhere. But then, I didn't think the newspaper advertised for pickpocket positions anyway, so what do I know?
Anyway, moving on, Reno and Rude are both on the military career path. Reno's already gone temporarily AWOL once (something about keeping sausage out of his hair. I don't get it either), which is fairly in-character, but still a pain in the ass. Note to Reno: I'm trying to save up for another bathroom so your boyfriend will stop crying outside the bathroom door when he's about to piss himself, okay? (Rude also cries when the house gets too messy. True facts.) Do your damn job so you can get promoted and I'll have money to blow through.
...That was supposed to be an introduction to my family, but I think it went a bit long there. Well, whatever.
I swear I hadn't been playing for more than five minutes when somebody tried to set the house on fire. I don't know who it was, but when I figure out who it was, I swear I'll put them in a pool and take away the ladder.* Or maybe I'll just build a wall around them and slowly starve them. MWAHAHAHA!
Er, sorry. Back to the fire - I was pissed because I realized I'd just spent all of the money on beds and tables and TVs and crap, and had completely forgotten to buy a fire alarm or a phone with which they might've called the police. Ah, well. C'est la vie. Solution: Pick out the sim you like least and get them to extinguish the fire. Reno! Get over there! Oh, wait, Aeris, I forgot about you - you do it!
But no, Aeris was unconcernedly sitting in bed, ignoring the four other screaming sims. To make matters worse, Reno was being a wuss and wouldn't go near it, so I had to get his BFF Rude to put it out for him. Screw you, Reno. When I get bored and start killing people off, you'll be the first to go.
I had a bunch of awesome screenshots I was going to share, like Vincent with his volleyball friend, Vince and Yuffie being hypnotized by crazy random scientist, all the girls fighting over the brand-new bath, Reno miserably failing to fix the shower (Rude did it on the first try), and various characters dancing like unbelievably enormous dorks, but the quality is so terrible that I can't bring myself to post any of them. Perhaps if I somehow manage to fix the quality, I'll stick 'em up here later, but I'm not promising anything.
*I did that with a sim of Samara fromt The Ring once. I was very, very disappointed when she failed to come back as a ghost.
Let�s start with Tifa, shall we? I didn�t realize that, by giving her Romantic aspirations, I was making her into a whore. Her wants are always things like �Make out with 3 different Sims,� �Woohoo with 3 different Sims,� �Meet someone new,� and so on. (Occasionally things like �Eat cereal� randomly pop up on the list around lunchtime. Don�t ask me why.) Basically, she wants me to help her cheat on her wife. Great. Maybe I�ll do that once I get Nightlife, but as it is, trying to flirt with people just causes bitchfights around the house � which I�ll discuss in more detail later � and nobody wants that.*
Aeris, on the other hand, wants to adopt a child with her adulterous wife. I have mixed feelings on the matter. On the one hand, it would be hilarious to watch the group try to cope with some demonic child running around (and believe me, I would want a little demon). On the other, I�d be the one who�d have to solve all of its damn problems, and there are enough frigging people in the house as it is. Plus, I have no desire whatsoever to move anyone out of the house. So, Aeris may remain childless. How sad for her.
Reno, Rude, and Yuffie are rather easier to provide for, as far as their aspirations are concerned. They all have Fortune aspirations, so their wants are always related to buying random things and whatnot � except that, every once in a while, their wants list gets populated by desires to kiss/play with/talk to their SO, which I think is indescribably adorable.
Vincent is the weird one. He keeps wanting to earn skill points in cooking and cleaning; apparently he wants to be the ideal housewife for Yuffie. How interesting. His fears are a bit odd, too; for a while there, his biggest fears were �Rejected proposal to Yuffie,� �Death of Yuffie,� and��Loss of skill point.� (One of these things is not like the others�) After the death of his loved one, doesn�t losing a skill point seem kind of, um, trivial?
Anyway, enough of that. Let�s get down to the dirt: Sim!bitchfights. Here�s how it went down. Reno was on the couch watching TV, and Tifa and Rude were standing in front of him (presumably blocking his view, but Reno didn�t seem to mind overmuch), and I thought, �Hey, Tifa wants to get laid (by anyone), and Reno doesn�t seem to mind their interaction yet, so why not try a bit of flirting?� I commanded them to flirt, which was reasonably successful, and then they went in for a kiss.
I could not possibly have asked for a more entertaining reaction.
Reno leapt off of the couch and started slapping Rude and screaming in Simian gibberish, and Rude vainly tried to defend himself by waving his hands in the air. Tifa walked a few steps away, apparently thinking that this fight had nothing to do with her, and that was when Yuffie chose to walk into the room. Immediately, I realized that this scene couldn�t possibly be complete without some lesbian lovin�, and I ordered Yuffie and Tifa to start flirting with each other. This did not appeal to Yuffie, because she is deeply committed to her darling vampire. I was a bit surprised by that, because before that point she hadn�t shown any problem sharing a bed with either Aeris or Tifa, but hey, whatever floats your boat.
Anyway, Yuffie was put off by Tifa�s flirting, and probably didn�t mind too much when Reno interrupted to start slapping Tifa around. �Hey,� I told him, �that�s Scarlet�s job!� But he didn�t listen, because he was still infuriated by her moving in on his man.
When the smoke cleared, everyone involved was pissed of at Tifa (except for Rude; his relationship meter tells me that he still secretly thinks she�s hot), and Tifa was pissed off at Rude for trying to make up with his husband. The weird thing is, although Reno�s relationship meter with Rude had plummeted, Rude could still do all the things with Reno he could before � only with more rejection � but the only Appreciation option Reno had was Apologize. Er, maybe I�m crazy, but shouldn�t Rude be the one apologizing here?
Well, whatever. Either way, it took days of Reno sulking and hours of forcing him to flirt with Rude in the kitchen until he got over it, and their relationship still isn�t what it used to be. I had no idea Reno was so sensitive.
And that�s all the bitchslapping I have for you today. Hopefully I�ll return with more tales of the Sevens family soon.
*This is a lie. I thought the bitchfight was freaking hilarious.
To be honest, there was one thing that gave me this realization: It�s possible to make Sims that look like Cthulhu. I can make mini-Cthulhu creatures. At first I thought, �Should I really do this? Should I really give a woman � discarding, for the argument, the fact that she�s imaginary � who genuinely wants a child a Lovecraftian monster? Furthermore, should I do so when this requires killing off that monster�s parents?�
Are you kidding me? I can�t believe I live in a world where that�s an option. Bring on the tentacles, baby.
I spent a lot of time editing this small family (don�t ask me why, since only one of them will be living longer than two Sim!days), and I admit I�m pleased with the results. Here�s the happy family:
Those are his formal, athletic, and swimming outfits.
The only particularly interesting thing MommyDearest had was her formal outfit:
Now that you�re familiar with them, let me tell you about their deaths. We�ll start with the �why,� shall we? I read around some guides on The Sims 2, and all of them said that it was impossible to choose your adopted child. That is unacceptable. However, I heard that when a child�s parents die, they�re entered into the adoption pool, from which a random child is selected when someone decides to adopt. Thus, I plan to kill off some innocent brat�s parents, and then I�ll have Aeris adopt a kid. If I don�t get the sprog I want, I�ll just exit the game and do it over. I got the golden chocobo the same way.
Anyway, now that you fully understand the situation, we�ll get down to the details. Here was the basic setup:
On the far left of that picture, there�s a tiny swimming pool. MommyDearest decided to go swimming, and while she was in there, the ladder disappeared. I wonder how that happened. Sims are too dumb to try and climb out of the pool without a ladder, so she was stuck until someone decided to help her.
Then, in the middle, there�s Daddykins. He was standing around, minding his own business, when all of the sudden, four walls sprouted up around him. There was no door, window, or roof, so he was stuck a la The Cask of Amontillado. What a predicament.
MommyDearest was the first to go, unsurprisingly. She died sometime in the middle of the night. I was fast-forwarding, so I missed most of it. All I saw was a black cloak appearing over the pool, and then a grave marker magically appeared next to the pool.
After that, I focused my attention on Daddykins, whose condition was slowly deteriorating. He collapsed a couple of times, but I kindly prodded him each time to get him up. I didn�t want him to miss his own death, after all.
Somehow Daddykins knew that his wife had died; I�m not sure how that happened. Possibly the Grim Reaper passed by to tell him when I wasn�t looking, or maybe EvilRot said something when she was shouting at him through the wall. Who knows?
Daddykins died during the second night. I was watching pretty closely this time, so I was able to see his body rotting while the Grim Reaper argued with someone (God?) on his cell phone. Then, he disappeared, leaving only an urn behind.
It was only a matter of hours before the social worker showed up; EvilRot was actually still asleep when she came. I don�t know how she even knew EvilRot was there; perhaps one of the numerous friendly neighbors reported seeing Cthulhu wandering around unsupervised. Anyway, EvilRot was dragged away in some stranger�s van, and that�s where her story ends � for now, anyway.