Vincent/Shelke? (DoC)
WRO Morons (DoC)
Mommy?

Vincent/Shelke? (DoC)

I've been playing Dirge of Cerberus, and I'm really not digging all the V/S. I mean, Vincent's awesome, and Shelke's awesome, so awesome+awesome=more awesome, right? NOT WHEN ONE OF THE AWESOMES IS TEN. I understand that she's really supposed to be nineteen, and I understand that Japan in general likes 'em young, but no. Having a character that is nineteen but looks ten because of the mako is cheating. The youngest awesome Vincent is allowed to have is Yuffie.

But then, how old is Vincent, anyway? He looked thirty-ish when he was shot by Hojo, and then he slept in a coffin for another thirty years. So, that means that Vincent would have to be...sixty.
...
It looks like that purple coffin of his worked wonders with beauty sleep.

WRO Morons (DoC)

Why do I have to babysit the idiots from the WRO? They're stupid. They're not worth a damn thing besides targets to keep the Deepground bitches from shooting at me. If there are any of them left after I've finished off the Deepgrounds, they'll just stand around and gape. I'm not entirely convinced that they have any sort of conscious thought at all.

If I have to put up with these guys, they should at least follow me around and try to help. But no, they're too busy standing around and staring at things.

Mommy?

It's a well-known fact that video game and anime characters tend to have issues with their parents - specifically, with their parents dying. FF7, however, takes this to a new level. Every single player character (with the possible exception of Cid, whose parents are never mentioned, and Cait Sith, who is a robot) has at least one dead parent. Look:

Cloud - mother killed by Sephiroth; father never mentioned.
Tifa - father killed by Sephiroth; mother died when she was a child.
Aeris - father killed before she was born; mother died on the street. Adopted mother spends the game hiding/being captured by Shinra.
Barret - parents were either killed by Shinra or already dead when they came to Corel.
Red XIII - parents killed defending Cosmo Canyon.
Cid - parents are apparently nonexistant.
Yuffie - mother died.
Vincent - father died; mother never mentioned.
Cait Sith - is a robot. Little to nothing is known about the guy that controlls him.
Sephiroth (who is not a player character, but is more fucked up than anybody else) - father is a greasy prick who dies during the game (mostly); mother is...well, hell, let's not get into that, alright?

So, basically, everyone's fucked in the head. Not that we didn't know that already, of course, but surely there are other ways to cause angst without having either an evil, world-dominating corporation or a homicidal maniac kill off people's parents.

Hosted by www.Geocities.ws

1