| Instrument Bashing! How Else Will I Unleash My Anger? |
| Flutes *Let us apply the joke: How do you get 2 piccolo players to play in tune??? shoot one! *Flute vibrato stinks, its played many ways and i don't like any of it!!! (this is a major opinion) *Notice that when a floutist plays, his or her lips form a pursed position. This might create the impression that the floutists are always frowning down on us. Clarinets *I respect these instrumentalists, because I find it a difficult instrument to blow into. *The firsts get very big heads though. Bassoon *Poor children, if your bocal is bad, guess what you are??!! *Reeds have no texture!!! They lack beauty (and brains behind the quality of notes they produce) Saxaphones *Sounds like a broken lawn mower with vibrato. *Would look like one of those horns that is blown in the alps when stretched out, but the saxaphone would not call the animals, it would tell them to run away!!!. French Horns *Have a wimpy sound if they play mellaphone too long. *In sectionals, the technique of bell placement on the thigh is demonstrated. yuck! Trumpets *Why are silver trumpets so great? Kids get to high school and feel that they aren't taken seriously until they buy one, what a waste of $$$ *Big heads easily come without big talent (esp. when high notes can be played but not rhythm) Tuba *Talk about screwed up BBb tuba is in the key of C, CC tuba is in the key of Bb *The sousaphone is a brass instrument, but yet the high schools continue to buy the fiberglass models! Baritone/Euphonium *I feel sorry for them. They get forgotten from the tuba and trumpet. *No uniform shape!!! *bore stays the same or bore tapers-- decisions decisions! Trombone *They have the same part and the slide's in different positions. *Wimps!!! Percussion *Lazy people who want to chew gum. *Abusers--they like hitting things. *Make band director's deaf. *They never practice. *Can't tune a pitch even if they blow it with their mouth |
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