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ALL Positions
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English is your
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Second
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Third
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Fourth
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Next
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language
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You are on a phone call and your cube-mate wants to buy
drugs off of you. The person hands you a $50.00 bill and wants change. You
should
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Have the
person wait while you call the Federal Reserve to make sure the bill is good
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Shout,
"For the last time, I am not giving you anymore free CRACK!"
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Mumble
"Customer service..." and stare vacantly into space while waiting
for your lunch break
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All of the
above
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A caller demands to speak to your supervisor regarding
your attitude. You
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Give him the
number for the ASPCA
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Transfer
him to your cube-mate, who, while sniffing crack laughs hysterically at the
customer
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Refuse
because he doesn't know the SECRET PASSWORD
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All of the
above
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Computer or software sales
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A manager approaches you on the floor and asks how much memory
you need to run Windows 95. You
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Pretend
you don't hear them and walk briskly into the break room
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Say,
"Can't you see I'm helping another customer?!", and run off to the
back to smoke a cigarette
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Continue to
stare blankly into space
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Blurt out
the first number that comes into your head
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You pick up the ringing phone, expecting to hear your
girlfriend and/or mother. A customer(!) asks if you
support Photoshop 3.05 for Windows. You
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Blurt
"Certainly not!" in a loud voice, while checking your teeth in the
reflection from your screen and trying to remember if you do or not
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Snarl
"Not my department!" into the receiver and slam down the phone
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Play a game
with the other agents- see who can get a caller to
hold the longest by offering to "check the LBJ site."
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Explain how
you're really a software developer, and that your Visual Basic version 'Fotoshop' is really far superior and slightly less
difficult to use
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Audio/Visual
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A kindly older gentleman asks to purchase the 15"
monitor that was advertised in the morning paper for $99, a gift for his
granddaughter's college dorm room. You
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Tell
him that, darn it, Dell just sold the last one. However, the top-quality
'SUNY'-brand monitor right next to it is only $225! When he points out the
fact that the website shows 5,438 remaining, tell him they're wrong. If he
asks for your boss, hang up.
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Scoff
at his selection. Explain that all the kids nowadays would be humiliated by
anything less than a 60" Mitsubishi with Stereo Surround- only $3200!
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Tell
him Compaq has some, and they'll hold one. Then call Compaq and tell them to
send him to Gateway. Repeat.
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Invite
him out to your car, where there's an 'Open Box Buy'
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You're working at Road Runner today. Customers call about
an outage in Houston. You
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Nonchalantly
tell them that, yes, even at 49.95 you can not keep them connected for any
reasonable length of time.
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Insist
repeatedly that there is no outage, but that the Cable Leprechaun is angered
by their new software
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Fantasize
idly of your dream job at Wendy’s. Someday, someday
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Play Top
Gun on your computer and
turn the volume up so loud that you're instantly sterile
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Employment Experience:
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Have you been fired by Stream or any subsidiary of the Solectron Corporation in the last three years?
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Yes No
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Have you been involved in retailing in the USSR, North
Korea, Thailand, or any of the former Soviet satellites?
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Yes No
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Are you 'computer literate'*?
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Yes No
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Can you:
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Program your VCR?
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Yes No
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Use an ATM?
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Yes No
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Use a remote channel changer?
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Yes No
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Flush a toilet without assistance?
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Yes No
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*NOTE: If answer to any of the above is yes, please
answer YES.
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Expected salary:
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$4.85/hr $5.00/hr
$5.15/hr $6.00/hr*
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*Your Masters is in
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Previous Employment:
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For how long?
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