Brought to you by Tim & John
This month's question:
Who is worth more money?
A) Bill Gates
B) The combined wealth of all the prostitues in history?
Tim:
Everyone knows that prostitution is the oldest profession. Men have been horny since the dawn of time and have needed "some" to function properly. Due to this demand and the lack of suppliers that actually produce, or "put out", the economic curve provides a high price. See chart below:
In the case of history, there have been several economic types and currencies. Money made off prostitution in all currencies in all time periods combined, along with a weak dollar will create an aggregate supply of funds far exceeding the theoretical wealth of Gates. Yes, all of Gates' money (well, most anyways) is theoretical, tied up in stock in Microsoft. He does not possess most of his wealth in actual money. On the other hand, prostitutes have been paid in cash and have no theoretical values attached to them.
John:
Well, I guess we now know where Tim's cash supply has gone. One thing you said sticks in my mind. And I quote "Men have been horny since the dawn of time...." I hate to mention that money has NOT been around since the dawn of time. In fact, it has only been since 2000 BC or so that men have actually been civilized enough to PAY for it -not that I'm saying we haven't paid for it in other ways as well. :) So, we now have to look at where it is going from here. Is the oldest profession going to last forever? I say NO. Do you want to know why? Bill Gates. No, he's not coming over on Saturday nights from now on, but I would venture to say that one of his programmers will have written your new program called "Virtual Prostitute 1.0," release date TBA. The logic is this: Microsoft is in an anti-trust lawsuit right now for a reason. It is because Microsoft controls virtually everything. Once Bill Gates is through owning computers, politicians, and eventually, the Fed, he will logically capitalize on the only important thing left... CYBERSEX. Pictures, videos, and eventually virtual reality (hence, Virtual Prostitute 1.0) will be readily available and LEGAL. The chart Tim FAILED to show you is this:
*(The brief drop is the money he will spend on prostitutes for the research development of Virtual Prostitute 1.0)
I would argue that Gates and the technology he spawns will permanently eclipse prostitution's possibilities by AD 2020.
Tim:
John makes several compelling arguments, although he fails to address the question adequately. The question stated that the positions were present tense. Theoretical arguments are null. If history has taught us anything, it is that we can't predict the future, so we can confidently predict that John's prediction will fail. Also contributing to this is the fact that all famous diviners have cool names like "Nostradamus" and "Mohammed." Obviously "John Doe" will never be seen on the cover of *STAR with this year's predictions.
Some perhaps, may contend that pimps take away the money dedicated to the prostitutes. Of course, a pimp's only purpose is to drive Cadillacs with hydrolics. Thus, pimps are a very recent addition to the picture and have not yet made enough impact to decrease the total money enough to let Gates pass by.
John:
I wouldn't look for Tim on the cover of *The Wall Street Journal either... And as usual Tim, your arguments have more holes than the combined number of prostitutes in history. The fact remains that Bill Gates IS the richest man who ever lived. The only way prostitution would EVER surpass Bill Gates, would be the "Flying Bordello," release date estimated Spring 2009. The facts show that computers serve TWO purposes for men. They allow cybersex with NO argument or embarassment/uncertainty. They also allow men to TINKER with stuff. Intellegent men (not Tim obviously) have already realized this fact, thus contributing to Mr. Gates overwhelming wealth.
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