Denessa gave Obie and myself a rare gift�she asked us to perform a memorial service for her daughter Tempest, to give her the Wiccan ceremony she never had. We were honored and humbled�it was probably the hardest thing I have ever had to do and by far the most rewarding. And by helping Denessa and her family heal, it healed me.

See, at the time she asked us to do this, I had just been informed my mother was going to receive hospice care at the nursing home and though she had been living with alzheimer's dementia for 15 years, I was still having a hard time letting go. Seeing Denessa's strength in dealing with the aftermath of her young daughter's death gave me the strength and courage I needed to make it through the year ahead and my mother's final moments. I shall never forget this. I owe her a debt of gratitude I could never repay. I think a lot of us probably have similar stories to tell about Denessa.

Denessa is one of those rare individuals you meet that are so special. If she respected you or had good words for you, you just knew you had to be doing something right. She was such an honorable individual�she truly lived an authentic life. And she could work with this divided local Pagan/Wiccan community like no one else ever could. She was an integral part of so many communities that there will no doubt be a beautiful coming together of diversity in her honor, to celebrate her life.

And what more fitting tribute can there be for someone preaching the message of tolerance? Denessa, may you and your daughter forever Blessed Be. May I have the honor of meeting you again someday. --Banshee ShadowWolf 1

Further thoughts on Denessa, by Banshee

I must start out by saying that I�d be totally remiss if I didn�t offer my sincerest thanks to the family and closest friends of Denessa Smith and my deepest sympathy to you all on the loss of your dear one. Thank you for sharing her life with us. Time being such a precious thing, I know you probably wish you had more time with Denessa, as do we all. Now I know you might be thinking you had no choice�Denessa would�ve done all of these things anyway. But your help, support and love inspired her to go on doing good things, doing great things. So thank you all very much.

You never really know where or when you will meet someone who will change, transform and inspire you. Those rare individuals we consider our personal heroes usually don�t wear superhero costumes, or have the word hero tattooed on their foreheads. They often are everyday, ordinary people who choose to live, or, who are sometimes thrust by circumstance into living an extraordinary life. These people are the points of light in our lives. They give us hope and inspire us into believing that we too can live better lives, work a little harder, and be of service to others.

It could be a doctor, teacher, politician, spiritual leader, a physically-disabled hospital volunteer who spends her days and some of her nights cradling dying abandoned infants, or, a manager at a McDonalds who suffered a terrible loss, the loss of her young daughter Tempest under tragic circumstances. Somehow Denessa found the strength and will to transform this enormous pain she carried into something wonderful. She wanted to ease the physical and emotional suffering of children going through similar situations her daughter had to face. She wanted to eliminate the intolerance that took her daughter from her so other parents would not have to experience what she endured. She wanted her daughter�s memory to be about hope, not about loss.

Denessa was a major supporter of the �Gift of Life� organ donation program. She had donated Tempest�s organs when she left this world. She would have given her own if she could have. But Denessa truly gave all that she could in this life. So instead of the gift of life, we were blessed with the gift of Denessa�s life, and we are all the richer for it. We could ask for no more than that. It was my honor to know her.

Denessa is one of my personal heroes. Someone I was totally amazed by and who had my absolute respect almost from day one. Denessa was by no means a saint. She was a fun-loving individual who also happened to find the joy in giving back to others, to society. Someone I could always count on to be straight with me. Someone who�s respect I didn�t take lightly. Denessa is someone I will never forget. Her presence in my life continually challenged me to be a better person. Now, she gives me one final challenge. I have to say farewell to my friend and colleague for now.

As I often do in times of sorrow, I sought out the solace of literature to console me. When I came across this brief poem, it was as if I could almost hear Denessa speaking these words to me. I�d like to close with it, and ask that you, picture Denessa in your mind and heart as you read these words. Take heart, she is with us still�

When I die if you need to weep

cry for your brother or sister

walking the street beside you.

And when you need me

put your arms around anyone

and give them what you need to give me.

I want to give you something

something better than words or sounds.

Look for me in the people I�ve known or loved,

and if you cannot give me away,

at least let me live in your eyes and not in your mind.

You can love me most by letting hands touch hands,

by letting bodies touch bodies,

and by letting go of children that need to be free.

Love doesn�t die, people do.

So, when all that�s left of me is love,

give me away.

--anonymous (Life prayers from around the world, HarperSanFrancisco, c.1996, p.346) Peace and blessings to all. �Banshee ShadowWolf

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