Do we ever realize that the greatest impediment to success in our lives is none other than one�s own �SELF�. However, no pessimist would agree to this logic. If you ask around (including oneself) to see what is the reason most people attribute to their losses or their failures; most replies would be as follows: �I was born in the wrong (read as poor) family; or with a wrong (read as un-attractive) face; or with a wrong (read as non-white) skin color�; and so on and so forth.
Few would hold themselves responsible for most of their fallacies or fate. Are you one of those who have this quiet constant voice telling them that there is something very wrong that cannot be righted in their lives. Yes, of course, some facts cannot be changed such as family background, face, or skin color, etc. However, what CAN be changed is our attitude towards some of these ferocious facts.
Honestly, if we really �look� around us, we have so many examples of people succeeding in various fields and professions despite monstrous drawbacks: both of fiscal and of physical nature. I have seen pictures and read about one of the greatest astrophysicist alive who is paralytic and moves around on a mechanized wheel chair. I have seen and read about how a weak little (black) boy whose bike was arrogantly pulled away from his feeble hands by a teenaged thief, he later vowed to overcome his physical weakness and he did transform himself into a legendary fighter ever to hit the boxing scene. I can just go on citing numerous other examples, but the moral of each example is that success is mostly possible however high the target is.
If we stop-avoiding-and-start-facing-up to the fact that our attitude and approach has a lot to do with our wins and losses; we have taken the first step towards a crucial success input: self-acceptance. Because, unless, we focus on the self, the self will never help us achieve anything without its active and positive involvement. If we have a negative approach towards our self, the self will act up and inject more & more negativity into our life than we can ever handle. If we have a positive approach to the self, there will be more & more positivity and power in our lives and success would be our faithful slave.
Well, that logic sounds so simple, doesn�t it. Yes, but self acceptance is not everybody�s cup of tea. It�s one of the most painful propositions to handle. We easily �accept� lots of people around us. But to �accept� oneself on an �as-is-where-is basis, is close to impossible for most of us. So what is the solution to this difficult task. Well, there are a lot many ways suggested by psychologist around the world. Which most of us have read, tried, tested and discarded as being beyond our comprehension.
In reality the �self� can be defined as comprising of three components: Body, Mind and Spirit. Let�s try to look at these factors individually.
BODY: The body and the face are the outer and the physical aspects of the self which provide us an identity in this world. Many people fail to accept this very identity that is given to us by Allah. This identity given to us is to make us look un-like all others in the entire world. Never before and never again would Allah create another human with our combination of features and physique. We are neither better, nor worse than others - just Unique ! However, most people lead their entire lives burdening themselves with undue shame; complaining openly or in their own minds about being too fat, too thin; too short, too tall; too fair (yes, it gives those fiendish freckles !), too dark, etc., etc.
In the above context, I always get reminded of a short but enlightening story of a famous poet who lived long back. His poetry was extremely liked and highly appreciated for its delicate beauty. The king of that land was so impressed that he decided to invite the poet to his court to honor him. The poet arrived at the appointed time. As he entered, there was initially a shocked silence broken suddenly by the loud laughter of the king, followed ofcourse by the rest of the courtroom. The king then laughingly asked the great poet, how come he was so short, dark & ugly with his body bent in all the wrong directions; while his poetry was so lovely, vibrant and beautiful.
The learned man remained calm and asked the king: Sir, before, I answer your question, may I ask you if you were laughing at my ugly body & face or its Creator (Allah). The king realized that he had committed the gravest of mistakes by laughing at the appearance of the wise poet. The king felt ashamed and sought the poet�s forgiveness for his stupid behavior.
MIND: Our mind is an awesome object of tremendous power and performance. It is said that even the greatest of scientists, etc. use about 5 - 10 % of their brain ! Imagine the potential that exists in us but is never ever utilized ! Instead of tapping into our vast mental reservoir, most of us tie ourselves down with our own constant inner nagging (also reinforced by those around us) that we are ill-equipped for life; for happiness; for wealth; for position; for power; etc,. Few of us go all out to achieve, what our heart desires oh-so-fervently. It�s been seen time and again that mostly its a very poor person from the lower-class who works his way across into wealth and riches; while those in the middle-class never seek to reach up to get into the upper-class. Which proves that determination born out of a need to survive, can catapult a person beyond his wildest of dreams.
It is said that what the mind can perceive, it can achieve. Success is a five step process. All we need is to 1) first understand what exactly we want in life. 2) Then we need to define our goals. 3) plan a route to the achievement of the same and 4) finally start out in earnest to reach it 5) Keep reviewing our progress and incorporate changes where necessary.
SPIRIT: The most important factor of our existence is our spirit. Because, without the spirit, the body and the mind are considered dead and of no use. It�s the single vital invisible source of our existence. The more we focus on it, the more we can work wonders in our lives.
Isn't it strange that we envy that office boy who goes about his work: smiling and full of energy. We envy that care-free laborer who is laughing and singing even as he lies down on the sidewalk after a hard day�s work. We envy all those rare but real enthusiastic people around us who smilingly put in more effort and find more time for so very many things.
The best example of an unflagging spirit is ofcourse our prophet Mohammed (PBUH) who never gathered wealth nor wore expensive clothes, still he (PBUH) was the pride of any place that he was present at. Not because he (PBUH) was smarter; or more handsome than those around him (PBUH); but because of his (PBUH) extreme focus on the lord of the universe - Allah. This focus has a terrific influence, it tends to raise our vision away from our flaws & fallacies onto the flawless Lord - Allah. A constant focus on Allah produces those enviable qualities like �fearless ease�, self acceptance� and �never-say-die�.
Our �Spirit� is strong and vibrant in our day to day life when its infused with positivity, enthusiasm, adventurism and never-say-die attitude. Pictures taken with special cameras have shown how there is a halo around our bodies and how the color of the halo varies from person to person.
But one thing is clear that the halo around a positive minded, calm, pious and enthusiastic person is brighter and stronger than that around a negative or criminal-minded person. Those with suicidal thoughts tend to project a dark and bleak halo. The most important factor in all this is that each halo influences the thoughts either positively or negatively of those who come in contact with us. That�s the reason why we tend to feel upbeat in the company of some people; and tend to feel suffocated and uneasy in the presence of others without being able to point out the reason for the same.
Therefore, what is beyond the mind and the body is within reach for the spirit. So whenever we find that we have reached the point of desperation and/or mental exhaustion over an issue that is not getting sorted out, we need to give up on our physical and mental skills and focus on the spirit. Which is the most advanced form of all of the Almighty�s creation.
Is there any way we can strengthen our spirit; to calm it down and rev it up ? Yes, there is. It�s in our religion - Islam which literally translated means peace. When we really look up to Allah, we tend to place our life�s burdens in front of Him and seek His help. We learn to put in our efforts towards the achievement of an objective and leave the results to Allah. When we are really in communication with the Almighty, we feel extreme mental ease and calm within; which unchains a powerful wave that takes us beyond the immediate.
Aircraft pilots always know that when the weather gets dangerous, they simply have to climb up to a higher altitude where the air current is calmer. Same goes for our lives. When things go way beyond our control, we need to rise higher and place our troubles into the safe hands of Allah - Who will SUFFICE.