Fear can be totally imaginary (psychological); fear can be very real (face to face with a tiger); fear can be healthy and survival oriented (fear of loss) which can push us to initiate steps to avoid its actual occurrence (by saving for a rainy day). Fear can be extremely deadly inflicting varying degrees of destruction from a sweating spree; to paralysis; to death.
Despite the constant presence of fear in varying degrees and in different forms in our lives; and its constant unleashing of a plethora of problems; it�s seldom that we think even for a minute towards working at coming to grips with fear itself, instead of fighting the resultant problems it generates. Honestly, how much time do we spend to understand our fears.
No problem can ever be wished away. The act of making an attempt to understand fear is the beginning of our struggle for freedom from fear. Since we understand that fear cannot be ignored or avoided, we need to learn to accept it and live with it.
In order to initialize this process, we need to sit down and calmly and truthfully list out what all fears are there in our lives. We need to write them down to give them some kind of expression and acceptance. Once we know what all fears we have, we should write down all the real and ridiculous reasons that we assign to rationalize the existence of these fears.
We will be surprised to find that although some of our fears are very real, others are quite meaningless. We should start working on the little fears first. We must launch a private campaign with an agenda to go all out against our fears. Take one fear at a time and start by imagining that somebody has come to you seeking a solution to that fear. Write down various ways that you would suggest in order to ease that fear out. Do seek advice of helpful people around you who you think can help you work the fears out. Also look around and meet and read about people who have overcome that fear.
Do talk to someone you trust about the fear being present in you (acceptance strategy). And most of the time, instead of bottling it up, when you discuss a problem or a fear, you start feeling how very insignificant it really was. Allowing the person to �Talk out� a problem is one of the approaches psychiatrists use to weaken and eradicate certain fears.
I remember reading about one leading stage actor who had been initially struck by terrible stage-fright and became a laughing stock at his first performance on stage. He was so depressed at his failure that he attempted suicide but survived ! Later, during the time he spent recuperating in the hospital, he vengefully decided to get back there and again perform on stage. He did go back on stage after a great deal of rehearsals.
The moment he got onto stage, he was again struck by the same sinking feeling. He decided to continue his performance and also watched his fear send shivers down his spine; he watched as sweat streaked down his face; he watched as his feet became cold; he watched as his legs shook with fear. But he did nothing to add fuel to his fear. He just simply courageously watched fear impacting his body. Even as he watched, very slowly his fear started seeping away and was replaced by faith and confidence in his abilities. He ended up giving the best performance of his life and got a standing ovation from the audience.
In the right perspective, fear can be seen more like the Almighty testing our abilities before He allows us through the gates of self-confidence into the arena of success. All we need to do is �stand up� to fear and not give in to its various attempts to make us run away. If at all we fail initially, we should simply try, try, try again.
If we look around us, we see hundreds of live examples of people who have succeeded in the face of insurmountable difficulties. While some of us find it difficult to thread a needle with our hands, there are others who not only can thread a needle but also stitch and paint, even though they have lost both their arms ! While some of us complain about not having financially sound parents to finish their education or live a decent life; there are others who come from extremely poor backgrounds and have reached dizzying heights of success in education and in life. There are cases of financially unsound people who have successfully worked their way up to attain even the most powerful position on earth, that is of becoming an American president (Abraham Lincoln).
Like what another American president once warned: �What we need to fear is fear itself�, we should be alert to keeping ourselves clear of the entangling entity called fear; and work towards consolidating our strengths; and living a fear-free life.