| I arrived early. Got a tour. Wow that place is big. Talked alot about aestetics. About counterbalance of good v bad environmental stimuli. The teen room needs alot of work! I'd go out of my mind in there. I know it's in process and wish I could help out. That's what I think when I am there-about volunteering-only it gets stuck in my head like everything else. I brought some letters to show her, to explain how very important it is I fix my head-diagrams of my perspective on the past. I couldn't approach it. Did not know how. Thought about dropping them in the prayer box. That was my big headway. I had been afraid of the preconcieved outcome of revealing to her (a christian) that I was not. Afraid of predjudice and denial of services. But somehow I got it out as she was talking about the chapel there. I did not recieve her response negatively. Matter of factly she conveyed the chapel is christian because she is christian. I've been able ....to permit others beliefs all my life. And made the mental note to just be cautious--and to drop a whole lot of shit into that prayer box. 5 minutes before the session ended, a session filled with more 'stuff' that I'll never see the finish line of-mostly school and employment, well, learning style came up. I surprised her by remembering my myers briggs style from the college computers some years ago and I blurted it out. She says only 1 percent have that style. She says it is aspergers. The employment types are right up my alley--unfortunately I don't have the social skills to complete them and am further depressed. She didn't say that. Though she did launch in to another story about her asperger son and husband and how the son does the brain work and the father handles the social manuevering and presentation. Like I could be so lucky. Is pessimism a trait I wonder? She is gone for two weeks and I still havent been able to broach the subjects of spinal damage, oxygen deprivation induced coma, mercury in shots, forieng culture abroad, foreing culture here, memories v memorie washing, and how all this would or does contribute to the truth or falacy or muteness 'of things'. I get the impression we are just addressing the symptoms and the symptoms are aspergers. we talked about retirement planning as a bubble of learning towards a generalized goal. she was like-what are you going to do what are your interests. I replied I had always planned to join the military for the structure and training. We talked about structure. She says her brother (the reason she took up this biz) is far more less functioning than I -that she has to make all his appointments ect. And I was thinking--what a lucky guy. By the time I returned home I had another breakthough--that I won't see the finish line of (again pessimism based on experience). It would be completely feasable to hire a person/thing/or smth to do shit like that for me/us. I'm just not sure who or how. There's a life skills place up the road. However I can't communicate if I don't know the questions/framework for getting the answers-and that all haMaybe she will know. |