| The Girl. The Sick Bastard. And the Helper of Sick Bastard. |
| I dont even have a sicko ratio for this Here is the Dream. 12/2/06 10pm NIGHTMARE. 10PM. It was pretty traumatic because I was waking up as I was having the dream, or the *dreaming is what woke me up. I was both aware that I was on the couch AND aware that I was being dragged along the dirt/mud ground at dark. see what I mean? disgusting. There were 2 men there. The one who was dragging me (heart stopped-brain aware) by the wrists and the one who he was speaking to. It was like....seeing what you see when your dead, but not quite dead yet. And hearing what you hear as your brain suffocates. Up an embackment-through eukalptus looking bushes-clothed To me he said, "c'mon sweetie" as he grunted the weight. That was kinda creepy because, like, I was dead and he was saying 'sweetie' while dragging me. Then to his accomplice or aquaintance, "She was going to join the ..(police academy)". That was kinda creepy because I didn't know if that was the reason I was dead or if it was a last rites statement. As I pulled to complete awareness and 'That Seventies Show' (that must have done it) I had to check my heart. I couldn't tell if it was beating at all or too fast and figured that it was fine but was on high alert because of the heavy sensations taht still lingered--ie I guess that is what is meant by 'shugging off the dream'. shug. huh. I couldn't tell. the dream still beating in my ears. Well, this one, it was like actually dying both in the dream and awake. I wasn't sure I'd make it, but I gave it a go. I felt like if I didn't pull awake taht I would die-surely, and I didn't want to go with the one who was pulling my arms. Then I turned on the light and slept somewhere else. It was a white guy. 6...2. military cut or shaved. notable arms. gross precision core.. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- It started with a sensation as he came into view about 15 feet away as he crept on his hands and feet out from beneath the foliage towards me. Here was my living room. But here also overlayed was this transparent and entirely in substance...'scene'. And yet i was asleep. He appeared to mimick his very best harry potter--voldomore. slithering at ground level. speaking. do you want to dieeeee. do you want to diee.I'll take you. but it wasnt me. I mean. Im looking at my feet later as I fall to death--and they are not mine--this skinny knobby jeaned legs--sure the hell ain't mine. I don't even feel like me. I feel 27. Like I did when I was 15 feeling like I was 27. I felt the calm wisdom of a person. And in this dual sense I was filtering in and out of myself asleep on the couch and the person for where this took place. and I couldn't tell whether he was coming for me.or whether he was a he or an it. He didn't stand until he came up behind me. At THAT moment I/we were.....dying or dead and he was speaking to his companion, a male, younger, shorter, thinner, brown hair, who didn't appear to know the girl/woman was to be killed, but only shrugged it off in vote of obedience to this other person.. *Im putting this up for now. opinion is seeping in. ----- ----- olive. oregon apple. I forget botany. there was a midsized tree behind me. It was not pine. I got the impression of a car. The helper was standing next to it. It was an old car. cheap car. 1970/80s box type, honda datsun toyota-ish. white. I felt they were going to put me in it dead. I didn't feel the dying as a matter of understanding. I felt no stab. no shot. no sholck of the neck. just him behind me taking me to death. The helper picked up my legs. I could see out my eyes but not move. sound grew echoed. I couldn't access mobility or sensation of anything. yet this itself felt* of heavy gravity;absence. I (me) didn't make it anywhere (to the car or destination they were carrying me to) before I woke. sorry man, I was dying too and I was waking the fuck up yo. no I dont want to die. not today. not by you. never by you. I thought maybe I was having a heart attack or sleep apnea and this is how I processed it-this dream. it must be in two parts. but one was light and one was dark. one was daylight one was dark. one was half residential. one was..trail. both seemed to be right next to each other. when I started dreaming I was opening my eyes and seeing it overylayed over my living room. the sidewalk running east to west (I was going west) the patch of kinda woods to my south. I was going somewhere. when I closed my eyes (I was sleeping) I was there turning around to a voice behind me who had come from beneath the bushes next to the sidewalk. so fucked up as it is I think he did this crawl from the shrub to scare thing twice at two locations. He was alone at the first. But I felt that the bushes were right after that. But the first was light and the second was dark. I feel that at the first he stood up jokingly and earned my trust. I felt the moment I stepped to him to the trail was the bad time. an oh shit moment. I feel that the helper was there in that spot and that the ground immediately around us was clear medium dark dirt-no debri shadowed and surrounded by green things. I did some pendulum work, something I dont know how to do but gave a shot over a map because I really like this particular crystal a distance aquaintence gave me when he took my shoulder out of the extreme pain.I just wanted to find her. It seems to work for auntie. my heart told me se fort lewis. but I know I just cant go there so anyways that feeling never left. the pendulum took me all over the south end of 512. In the neighborhoods up by the putting course. on both sides actually but mostly on the s side of the hwy. and then back down to tillicum but it hovered over a couple different places. which one? 64th or 53rd, for example. I dont remember the roads. I dont even know which phone book that was. but so I figured this aint working. I had even gone to north end for a bit. I had a second dream experience I attributed to the first a week or so later. More of a screen shot. The dream: you know that spinal bone that sits within the skull-the connecting piece. I felt it rocking freely as if the fluid had separated from it. SOMETHING was causign it to rock, to scape, to emit sound of bone. It was a fluid motion. liek waves rocking. or a puddle. or in mud. I didn't understand exactly. am I hung in a bag in a tree? but I felt this person was activiely reaching out to be found. I went to a web page and found his face. the height does not match. the face though. the eyes. the burning eyes were--you have a dream like that and you see the face its pretty weird. to me-that was the guy I dreamed about. to anyone else--ehhhhh. but to me. a panic oh shit moment. I shut the browser. I went back recently and read what was beneath the photo. I got to be careful-but I did see the face of the man I dreamed about. I layed down one day and asked. little girl tell me where you are. and I couldnt follow through--with what started to happen--because I have no experience in that field and rather frown on the concept in general. I dont give my mobility over to nobody. seaance-not my game. I thought maybe I could have a dream or something--an inspiration. but I felt my limbs (arms) instead being tentitively filled cautiously by the presence of another--and no. thank you. I dont want to learn that. however its true, something was there to show me something. however, it wasnt the little girl, it was male. I think back and wonder if it wasnt the man I've attributed to being my angel since his death in 78. but I didnt know him well enough to identify. Its not normal you know, what my sisters and father and aunt and grandmother..do or believe. Its normal. Its natural. Its just not normal. so I think the little miss found some friends in a pair of boys her own age. and whispered in thier ear about where they should explore. and pulled at their will power to take them that way. and I hope that she will keep this up to capture and shed light on some main facts. I find her brilliantly intelligent and taking death quite well considering she makes the most of where she is. bipolars are notorious for passing lie detectors. because their brains have developed differently. I feel this is important to re test the environmental factors. and I really believe that in this case-in this particular case-of whatever this may be-key figures got a handle on the hidden things. that other little girl has some answers. not that you'll ever get them. but she has some answers. you know. the living traumatized one. |