APRIL2006

sunday april 30th.

aside from not being able to eat for this bar in the way, I have no swelling and no pain-which is opposite of what they told us. today: archery with family and friends, computer/internet setup time with my welder guy chris (one of them), laundry, paperwork, backlog.

archery cancelled due to event. slept. met up with chris who is really nice and buzzed through some stuff on his pc. met his cat and goofy neighbor. he's all shy because it is his first pc, and it's nice that he'll let me be the one.. set up his email, home page, and favorites. researched his family name origion. showed the/some neccesarry back tools-though not more than I know.. paid bills. home-ec stuff. planning a jewerly-bead kit to teach malena this summer if it's alright with mama, which it probably is. malena's intuitive. not looking forwards to eric's crap at the pool this summer. blah blah blah stalker drunk. not bad. just doesn't 'get it' and refuses to; . lucky for me he already has a stalker case pending so if it has to go that route I'll let someone know that a former sexual harasser has moved into my apartments-which is true.. dude. like some other girl. I like the avoidance measures myself.

when ron worked on the nimits there were 9 sucides and 8 deaths.--and Im thinking...what is the seafood crew doing on the nimits. ron's a great boss-knows just how to work us.

I work with a couple of strangers this week. well. one idiot(?). one really annoying happy annoying type. both dont do their job or dont seem serious about it.   all this one person does is complain. if it comes out her mouth it is a complaint. her knees hurt. she doesn't like her position in the sun next to the water. if she's not complaining she's bragging. blah blah. she cant walk up stairs. she hates this. she hates that. she cant she cant she cant. I overloaded after a day.

The other guy says something stupid everytime I see him and carried around his home for the first couple days. I caught him trying to ask me out---and just moved closer to chris and didn't acknowledge the conversation.

I'm happy last week I could hide that day away from the two of them, but Im concerned for the basics of the job. everytime I walk by they are off chatting and my guys are burning.--what the fuck? brought it up to boss in my own way. he says they'll be changes. (such as firing everybody cept for a few with stringent testing). but then they gave me the honor of some shop work and I dont feel too bad for the future. easy come easy go. we'll see. bill likes to ....light those kind of fires. I just feel better for getting it off my chest. I'm not the designated firewatch police and just like to get through my day.

saturday april 29th.
labored for ron. engineering. flanges. tigerwheel. wire wheel. cone wire wheel. steel. stainless. copper. rigging. gasket scrubbing. shop training. balast ladder. rungs. industrial chop-saw. rung holes. hole punch. safety. operation. standard. industrial sander beveling.

ended the day with a piercing date with welder chris. we've both wanted to do that for a very long time but lacked the right pal. He didn't back out and went first, which was great because it hurt me a whole lot more than it hurt him and I squealed like a little pig.

2 things he's 'helped' me with. Sleep habits and an old wound.
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wow!!! 700 sex offenders rounded up. how many precious hearts did that save? professor says a sex offender averages 100 victims before caught.

friday april 28th. gave a practical gift. firewatched for ron, chris, and sal. rigged a little-. spent most of the day in engineering, with nuts and bolts beneath a giant fresh from sea-watermaker. learned weld lore and another of ron's "army tricks I learned in the navy". uneventful. Helped a coworker isolate their car trouble (I don't know how to do that) and learned about apoxy weld in return.

thursday april 27th. started the day on fuel watch for chief at 3S. 95,000 gallons at 450 gallons per minute, roughly 1,000 gallons per 2 minutes--3.5 hours. uneventful. Firewatched for chris, sal, and ron. bulkhead. hatches. pipe. rigged and
beveled-tigerwheel-nice~uneventful.

wednsday april 26th. hip still bruised or cracked. firewatched chris and sal-mostly chris.
practiced rigging. more weld lore. no fires. practiced grinding with firewatch-wire wheel without firewatch. bulkhead prep. final stages. ran.

Safety Steve's going to "You little shit. I'm going to box your ears off".
oh boy :-) I'm intriqued. Bill...... :)    what entertainment are you cooking up for us now, oh high master chief??

This is about Oleg and Bill I'm sure, Since Bill makes up shit to send all his single managers my way, and I fend them off-which just tickles him pink-all of it. (which is a bit sick). But Bill is a very humored and lovable guy.

Oleg was a bright idea-partially inspired by Bill, 8 months later when I figured out that HE was behind...all of it., I ran out and got myself a boyfriend. 'Now I have a boyfriend'-The 'don't mess with the girlfriend" clause. But only Chris knows Oleg isn't real.....or is he?

As a side note, since steve brings it up boxing, sigh, AGAIN:
The man is obsessed with something he never does.

first Steve WANTS to go to class,
then he NEVER goes.
then he said he COULDN'T possibly hit a girl. (and thus wouldn't enroll)
but always talks about how bad ass the government made him.
(screaches violin)
but he never goes.

And with him behaving like it's anything but good fun and healthy living,-who would want him there?? wrong attitude!

One of our largest raccoons was hit by a car. :-( :-( :-(
Only one of our bald eagles have been flying above work recently. I tell myself and Sam; the other is nesting on spring eggs.

tuesday april 25th. hip still bruised or cracked. firewatched chris and sal-mostly chris.. practiced rigging. learned first wire-feed bead. learned tank hook up-controls-valves-psi's-f.y.i's. recieved a cool practical gift. gave a cool practical gift. more weld lore. one sal on fire. minor.

monday april 24th. hip still bruised or cracked. firewatched chris and sal. learned beveling of pipe and roping of chainfalled machinery. lots of chain work. one exterior fire and one sal on fire. Both minor. Butned my eyelid yesterday. Torch fallout. recieved a way cool practical gift.

The hole was 10 by 8 cut near the sea. It was a couple of days at a picture window, ocean side, on the side of a ship.

marine engineer on the kodiak says, "Have I told you how much I love my job?" "UH. no...." "And I'm not going to either". and the way he said it is STILL funny a week later.

sunday april 23rd am. slept in.

friday april 21st am.

Derek's in good spirits over a promotion he recieved in an aritist's forum and praise at his last inspection day.

yesterday firewatched Chris . we were to switch to another boat after the incinerator room; jobs keep popping up. this was for a small leak in a bilge emptying piping system. It required about 4 and a half feet of new pipe through a bulkhead. I wrenched my back on the steam converter job, trying to get some cardboard out from where we were at a bad angle, twisting in the hole over and under and around piping, avoiding a corrisive chemical spilt from its jug, that is used probably in the processing of water and or bacteria. We were warned away from the bacteria atop the bildge water, specifically. Done today and moving to small structural repair of 2 "I" beams both port and starboard which were not built properly during the addition of built-in shelving.

tuesday april 17th pm. 60 hrs is great, but 72 is better-as well is 84, with the exception that NOThing else gets done. .
they would make a great couple; two friends of mine. she's attached however.
finished the water pipe change and moved elsewhere in the engine room for a steam converter change. my welder allowed me to be more hands on. someday, when I turn to art, I'll have good memories and a wealth of beginning experience; it's kind of hard to forget or not notice this stuff. I may take the night classes. root weld. stringer bead. cover weld. that's it for pipe work-large or small. steel, not stainless. 6010 covered with 7018. These were 3 in. diameter and in the ceiling with 2 flange and a thermometor. Fire water I believe, though I'll have to check the color coating again..

4 owners were in on a tour of the engine room and freezer processing area. I often wonder who could run such a diverse place. Ah. cool. So that's them, huh. very down to earth. smily. greeted us with genuine pride as we sat in bildge beneath the floor. big company/small town pride. I've NEVER worked anywhere managed so well. I wouldn't be surprised if any one of them grabbed a wrench and hopped on in. Fishing. Go figure.

Another surprise project and then we hop over to the Seattle-who has the best cook in the fleet, so far. meals for the whole dock set are prepared by the arriving/departing ship on unloading day and the day of departure. Then the operation of the vessels change. the galley goes bare and people fend for themselves while the cook-takes a fricken rest from 3 months 16 hours a day 7 days a week. I can say the two best meals Ive had in my life came off this boat. though this is debated-as to which of our boats ACTUALLY offers the best cook.. Steve swears it is the Island-but I havent been on the Island. No One cooks better than Pete. No One. Important thing this when choosing your destination of a 6 bunk per room the size of a bathroom floating hotel. Are you on a sandwich boat or a 5 star boat?

sunday april 16th am. Happy easter christians. Happy passover jews. I've learned this week that black thursday is the day christ was strung up. good friday was the day that christ died. easter was the celebrated (?3 days...?) day that christ came back to life. and I 'think' the prior sunday was the day that pilot turned christ in. black thursday also marks the week of passover or which passover begins which is a kind of rememberance of abel not having to sacrifice his kid to the block (?man that news story flew fast)). but.. I'm confused here because I learned it a little bit different. I learned that passover was a catholic holiday and that passover is the day where your grateful angels havent come for your male children-goats blood on the doors. or something. interesting anyways. I like to learn what is celebrated where and when--it makes that boring calender more meaning full.

getting out of bed didn't happen easily.
owie-and on a holiday/sunday even when I cant just drive to an examination. but now Im up and ok. It reminded me back to the first 2 weeks of my sons birth. he was cesarian-I couldnt move. his daddy would have to, after a couple of gentle side slaps (hey!wake the fuck up!) to whereever I could reach, would have to either pull me up or bring the baby over.. It was good times.

saturday april 15th evening-finally some down time. car accident, martial arts, work-I dunno, but the back came back. I've never actually had spasms-they took me to my knees too often the last couple of days. Luckily, spunky, though working me hard, looked out for me-laughing when I squealed, sometimes showing a concern (always), but mostly, just keeping a lid on it. slept on the floor which helped TREMENDOUSLY-took everything slow and gentle and it became more manageble, cept when I went to walk ect. At one point I was stuck for a couple minutes as what seemed like childbirth took place in my back, which really pissed me off because, well I was trying to get somewhere at the moment. baths not showers.

Ironically, a back problem belongs to spunky and today he was feeling great so I joked for him to 'take it back' as we pondered whether or not it was rubbing off. he was shot, spunky, right next to the heart by a family member when he was 17. the bullet traveled down and into his stomach and still sits there. He says when well he says one cannot perform a cat scan with a bullet in because magnets will rip them out. is this true? and that for some reaction of bullets they couldnt remove it. metal and acid or something. oxidation....I dunno. Im going to go find a floor and a remote now.....and some burgers....ice cream....fruit smoothie.....music....sigh. whoah.

saturday april 15th morning--per often I came in to write last night, but the kid was on the machine. I have a second computer but I havent figured out how to hook it up yet.
this mornings laugh, courtesty of my apartment manager. :-) oh gawd funny.

A guy is driving around Tennessee and he sees a sign in front of a house:

"Talking Dog For Sale."

He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the backyard. The guy goes into the backyard and sees a Labrador retriever sitting there.

"You talk?" he asks.

"Yep," the Lab replies.

"So, what's your story?"

The Lab looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young.
I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA about my gift, and in no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping.
I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running."

"But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger s o I decided to settle down.

I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security wandering near suspicious characters and listening in."

"I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals.

I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired"

The guy is amazed.

He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.

"Ten dollars," the guy says.

"Ten dollars?

This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?"

"Because he's a liar.
He never did any of that shit."


*************************************

thurs april 13th evening
pt2 --I didn't MEAN to break the news to Brad. He was there. I walked up. He said, ah man I hope Im not fired. we'll....we all heard you were.
I guess I feel I overstepped my bounds.

if it troubles me I dont bring it up. no words.

thought of the day.... "Explain it to me"
And No. I wasn't sleeping.
My counterpart called in sick. I wonder what his problem is. Nightmares. Tummy Ache. Hangover. Quesy Stagefright brought on by a comparable mate staring him in the face or Woman in his bed. I'm not sure I could take that rollercoaster twice. He's all that. Including the alcohol.
I layed on the floor for the shift of 10 hours peering into a hole, listening to music, drilling russian phrases. having my back heal....
now, after siensei beths 15 minute back healing lesson last night Im doing...just fine. Thanks Sam. Man I fucked up there. I can no longer power lift. I should not have attempted to torque that particular assembly and I knew better, but neither of us was thinking. And I didn't realize that my screams of pain at each slight movement the last couple of days sounded like a cat. Until I heard myself. wtf.
Im stronger in general due to the past year of easy boat firewatch and 3 hours a week qualified instruction. everything. stronger..
A little belly dance music has moved in-because it moves my body to form and shuts off my brain for awhile.
firewatch steve kept checking on me-thinking I'd be asleep--because HE WAS yesterday. I said, don't worry steve, Im ocd, these spots on the wall will keep me occupied forever. silly steve--not with THAT MUCH TEXTURE ON THAT WALL. seriously--theres too much good shit to look at in that hull--a visual treat of shades and metal and crawl spaces. and lighting. and smells and airs and sounds and quiets and emptys and movement and shadows. who can't appreciate this. I can seriously be that entertained. though...Ive never managed to count all the spots in ceiling texture. childhood torture. monotomous. yes. I tried. I hate to count something past 500. What else. The swede (if thats what he is) IS really cute. I have to appologize for staring.
yah hachoo koshka...sobaka....soupa...cleb.
period. and has a very gentle but fierce soul. artistic. refuge. double take. definately NOT an asshole like the few other northerners I've spoken too. though maybe he is. I dont know. I dont think I'll ever firewatch for him. It's an obvious lay. my bosses--so keen.
night self. clean. dinner. (dance? practice?) bookwork? organize tomorrow? or the usual fall down in front of tv out in 15 minutes?
Im re taking up sewing. (knitting ect--never did progress to knit) its alot like metal work. only a metal worker and a seamstress would know that-but--I AM NOT a fine seamstress. Integrity. basically. I can sew something that never comes apart. I hate zippers and need a grommet kit though to fix my gym bag. I love watching the welders 'backstitch'
fuck.,
gone.

tuesday april 10th/11th evening
class...owie...frustration...wow...sigh...click...owie...hmmm
work--broke the news to brad who was stopped behind me at the train. I know he'll be ok.
had a swede take his place.
indy is in--hope to stay on kodiak--better management.
backs out. one day delay. go figure.
new day tomorrow--where will I go? on the one hand I hate jimmy leading a boat and Im his current firewatch. he goes to lead indy tomorrow. on the other hand bob showed up on boat and is I guess his last years firewatch and is with the swede-so maybe we'll switch. and jackie is off god knows where while I am firewatching her welder spunky. will I get the swede jackie get the spunky and jim get the bob? I've noticed I havent gotten anywhere I wanted or qualified myself for so I definately wont get the swede. it's spunky or jim. please let it be spunky please let it be spunky and anywhere away from chin lee sabby ...that crowd.

monday april 9th/10th or so evening--no brad. brad fired. class covered ground and partial blocking. there is a mood about. I know it aint me.

sunday april 8th/9th or so 2006 am
I need a cat.

I totally suck. I can't walk up and get a license plate because I see "forward".

Scarred up free roaming black bull mastiff-contacted up animal control.

Went for a boat sprint the other day. Later Got reprimanded for leaving my post-not like anything was going to happen with our specifics upstairs-zero fuel-zero hazard-complete metal room other than brad lighting himself-which he gets off on. Because my boss was on the below deck and had a handle on what was going on, he didn't realize what it sounded like to us upstairs. Both the kids welder and I made the mad dash. It 'sounded' that urgent. I watched his face change to 'oh shit' The room was 'that' hazardous. I only knew I could make it faster maybe or grab him down quicker or make it faster or react better or put myself in danger more logically quicker to a safer outcome and seconds could count. (think alot of myself huh?) "The kid" was in a small electrical crawlspace in the ceiling with lots of pipes and cables and cords and foam which turns to cyanide firewatching a welder on a above deck. and he was moaning/hollering hellllp. somebody help me. heeeeellllllp.
Turned out-his hose had exploded down below and he just wanted someone to help him with it.

That help thing happened with another guy once.

so I was happy that I could still sprint. I 'couldn't' have stood around. Something else takes over. I know I can get there faster. This all prompted me to seek out the first aid guy. Who here has the experience. ok good. he was the kids welder. NOW I know where to go. I wouldnt trust the first aid guy with my life in a pinch-but that's ok. for specifics I know who on the boat has the experience-the card.

I also got to hang around on the rafter and work the pain from last years shoulder injury.

just. something else takes over.

update on my buddy brad-welder.
I let him know that because of activities at his house I wouldnt be going that way for the van ladder build. and he took it well. the next day or two his girlfriend is said to be entering treatment. leaving him with 5 or so kids to contend with at his place. this is a big step. Im relieved. he seems to think he can change her, help her. and then something happened. as for him. those were some pretty big steps.
Im angry at his girl (whoever she is) for what she has done to her 15 year old. now a prostitiute being sold around on crack or whatever. and Im angry at him for what theyve done to his 15 year old, now carpet crawling and stealing his van--formerly an advent against the powerdered drugs. Im just sad for how wonderful he talked about his sons abstenience for ...that sort of shit and that he has contacted police about the two and they can't just fix the boy and girl right. it makes me cry inside because I can't either.
you know. he'll listen to my music. whatever I bring. we were jamming to tiebetian chant and japanese strings; and as for souls in a sea of souls-I admire his company and candor. makes the day interesting and uplifting to talk with such a gentle but smart but stupid but brilliant but uneducated but worldly but helpless but thoughtful.....fuckup....trying to find his way to make all of his problems go the way of peace. however, I don't let it in to affect me. he's learning to put his footdown. and he never ceases to surprise me by listening to the things that I say. we have alot of uplifting fun.--verbally. he's a wealth of knowledge with words and concepts that bring up a person opposed to putting them down. but not me. Im like. brad ... this EQUALS this which results in this which fucks up this and you gotta change it man because they sure the fuck aint going to change it for you. so its like Im always putting him down. or attacking his intellegence. which I never really do to anyone. and he takes it and is not offended and doesnt attack. but says, yeah, but I dont know what to do about it. Ive tried this and that and this and theyve done this and that and this. biblically. this kind of person I associate as 'the gentile'. .

the first day I met him he was like--I just quit the meth.
I was like (as a psychic) ok...now I know why I'm dropping tools today. (I associate this to the term transferrence)
later he was like--I put all the heroin down a while back.
I was like (as a person) WOW.ok....now I know why I like you
now he's trying to 'clean his house'
and Im like dude this is critical.
yeah, I know he 'lights up' every once in awhile--I didn't know, but through conversation now I do. I was like oh shit. THATS what you meant?. as such--I will never go over there.
I didn't know that is what he meant.
I dont even know exactly what that means, but its bad knock it the fuck off.
I also know he's reached the point where he is saying oh shit every once in awhile is baaaaaad.
and I feel he will reach a point where it will never happen again.
like he said it was. but then there is this girl who walks all over him. but he just has to love her clean. and its working. even as he is losing his son to the same dramatic....hell.
I'd say ditch the girl. but he's tried. I guess at brads you just walk into his house and stay. but this is pissing him off. now she can stay but all these other elements and strangers coming and going have got to get the fuck gone. and that is where I am proud of him. he's like, man, I dont know where all these people are coming from. this is bullshit... yes, darling, follow that train of thought to the station.
but, I think we will lose him first. they are taking extreme care to help him through his traumas. I mean, he's been on the sea a long time. survived sinkings. witnessed death. been there. but he's gotta show up to work. and the stories are draining.
my kid stole the car. my kid was carpet crawling. I ran out of gas. someone tampered with my drive line. we had to rescue so and so from a drug house. I started drinking friday and then I dont know what happened (wed). my brother committed suicide. my mom needed help moving. there are problems at home. Im going through a divorce. I had to go to court. I was up all night because of all this work I was doing for other people. look. look at this. loock right here and puzzle it all together. right brad. we could all use a little bit of puzzling together. thansk for helping me look at my own....puzzles.