by Caroline
Episode One // Episode Two // Episode Three // Episode Four
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It was a quiet day in the land of rainbow chip cookies, TV shows, happy dwarfs and ... otherwise known as New York Potato.
Spikey had just woken up from in his beloved home, Old Trashy, named for well.. being a trash can.
He picked up a morsel of bacon from last Tuesday and happily plucked it into his mouth. "Yumm!"
Mohawk Mo was walking down the street with his pet pickle, Donald, when he saw Spikey eating out of the garbage can happily.
"Hi there bob." Mohawk Mo said cheerfully.
"MY NAME ISNT BOB YOU INSUFFERABLE HUMAN LIFE FORM!" Spikey shouted more towards the pickle than towards Mohawk Mo.
"Really? My name isn't bob either!"
Spikey smiled at him through animal-like teeth and tossed him a strip of bacon.
"Eat."
He happily plucked it into his outstretched mouth and grinned and patted him stomach. "Yummi-kins!"
Just as the two strangers were becoming somewhat friends, a gang of evil monkeys and their leader came "ganging" down the street. They kicked fire hydrants, cookies, dogs and Mohawk Mo's pet pickle, Donald.
"Y-y-you hurted Donnie!"
The leader, who was actually a human teenage boy, snarled at them both. "Well then. Are you two named bob? I kill people named Bob."
They quickly shook their heads no.
"I'm Spikey."
"I'm Mohawk Mo and this is my pet walrus, Donnie."
"He looks like a pickle."
"You must need glasses then. He's obviously a purple-blue-haired-snail-seal-rainbow-juice-star-pickle-walrus."
"Riiiight."
"I'm not insane."
"Never even had to say it."
Mohawk Mo sighed and picked up Donnie and stroked him gently.
The gang hoodlum lifted up his hood and they saw plenty of silver and gold chains around his neck.
"I'm Maffia."
Spikey crawled around and sniffed his shoes.
"Leather...Italian Leather."
"That's cuz I be Italian, ya fool. I pity da fool who mess wid me. Fool."
"How foolish."
They stood around and suddenly a rabid chicken came darting around the side of the street, dodging cars and buses and all sorts of other "hurty metal" as Spikey called them.
"SKYS FALLING, NO TIME TO CHAT, SKYS FALLING, GOODBYE!" The chicken barked out the last few words and then ran off down the street to warn more people.
"Whats a sky?" Mohawk Mo asked as he casually picked his nose.
"OOH Donnie look a boogie!"
Maffia kicked him in the foot and muttered, "Bugger Fool."
They suddenly heard a rucus from above in the sky, (which they believed was falling.) and they saw a piece of sky falling right towards them!
"Me die, me die, me... want bacon!"
"Donnie hold my little hand and we'll get through this together!!"
"Dang and I ain't never been kissed by no thug woman of my thug dreams yet. Dang you fools."
As they covered their heads waiting for the sky to "fall", they ducked down and Mohawk Mo started singing "I've Been Working On The Railroad." to pass the time.
The sky was still falling towards them.
And then, suddenly, it had reached them and miraculously, the "sky" fell into a sewer hole nearby.
And it let out a loud belch and the streets shook.
Just then the "sky" climbed out of the sewer.
The "sky" was an ugly teenage boy with shaved white-blond hair and big sad eyes. And He wore a pink satin wedding dress with Nike shoes.
"Dang thems sure is fools." Maffia observed "brightly."
"M-my n-name i-is A-Alicia. H-hi t-there."
Maffia laughed and lowered his hood.
"Your name is ALICIA?!"
He nodded shyly and blushed when he saw Donnie the pickle (er... walrus?) winking at him.
Mohawk Mo screamed like a girl and spanked Donnie hard. "Bad walrus! Bad!"
Alicia blushed again and smiled a dainty smile at the pickle (er... walrus?) and then he winked at him and blew him a kiss.
Maffia stared, wide-eyed at the scene.
But it was Mohawk Mo who said what he was thinking. "This is so wrong and NAUGHTY!"
Spikey scratched his butt and sat on his hands, blowing spit-bubbles.
Maffia glared at Alicia. "Be lucky u name ain't Bob, fool."
"Why would my name be Bob-fool?"
"No no no. I be sayin, you be lucky u name ain't Bob, fool."
"Why would my name be Bob-fool? My name is Alicia. Not Bob-fool."
Maffia attacked the nearby car with rage.
"Excuse me my good man but that would happen to be my car."
All 4 pathetic examples of humans (and a pickle... er... walrus?) turned around to see where the voice was coming from.
Out of the Ferrari that Maffia had wrecked came a teenage boy (again?!) who was wearing a box and smelt like fish. He was glaring as he turned to Maffia and he slapped him across the face.
"Yo name Bob?"
Box-boy glared again but shook his head no. "My name is Fish Fish-i-lous Fishiness The 4th... er... you may call me Sir Fish."
Spikey wet himself and put his head underneath his armpits.
Maffia sighed and kicked the car again.
"WHY AINT NOBODY BE A NAMED BOB?! I DONT GET NO HURT NO ONE!"
Fish sighed and wacked him on the head with his walking stick, which was made of brand new wood.
"I've had a great inspiration! Why don't we form a band?" Alicia asked girlishly.
Maffia shrugged. "Yo-- I is up for it."
Fish sighed, bored out of his mind. "Fine, whatever, you bunch of filthy mortals."
Mohawk Mo nodded eagerly and pretended to speak for Donnie too. "Yes, we would love too." He said in a "walrus-voice" (complete with snorts) and he ducked his head behind the pickle so no one would see him "mouthing the words".
Finally, Spikey wet himself again and scratched his hair.
"OKEY DOKEY! BACON!"
They ran to the LITTLE CHICKEN SKY IS FALLING record agency and they got a deal immediately.
Now they have hits songs and they live in a sqauash named Helga.
AND THATS HOW "THE PEOPLE NOT NAMED BOB" WAS FORMED!!!
this presentation was brought to you by one of the producers of "SCHMEE NARF FRAN", that produced the award winning film, "HARRY POTTER...THE REMAKE"
LAST TIME, YOU SAW THIS LOVELY BAND BECOME FAMOUS AND HOW THEY FORMED. IN THIS EPISODE, SEE THE MAKING OF THEIR FIRST MUSIC VIDEO-- "ONE FISH TWO FISH, I LOVE YOU MORE FISH"
This is still owned and created by Caroline Ambuhl with photos, SOME lyrics and the actual band, "Dream Street" owned by... well.. "Dream Street." Please Continue reading. Thank you. No fish were harmed in the process of this music video.
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"OK guys, try to do your best and don't kill each other...please." Their manager, Robobto, glared pointedly at Maffia who shrugged and looked back at him menacingly.
The background music started, which sounded like a cross between a rabid cow, tires sqeaking and armpit noises and the 5 pathetic excuses for humans stood in their places.
Maffia took the lead, and began singing in his very nasal, very Italian voice.
"Ooh baby I got somethin to tell ya
Spikey wet himself and placed his foot over his head. Unfortunately, this was his time to sing. He forgot obviously and started playing contently with the earwax he had found inside his ear and stuck it on his foot. Robobto shoved him forward into the spotlight and reluctantly, Spikey sang in his animal-like tone that reminded everyone of someone using a jackhammer loudly.
"I WISH I COULD MAKE YOU MINE
Roboto sighed. He hated having to have signed this horrible band but he had needed one more stupid band and then he could RETIRE!! Thank the heavens above he haad found this horrible excuse for a band!
Then it was Alicia's turn. He did all the high notes and he actually sang exactly like... Alicia Keys. If he didn't wear a pink wedding dress he might actually be a success.. But oh well.
"one fish, a blue fish, two fish i love you more fish!
Robobto sighed once more. It had been SUCH a mistake to allow them to write their own songs. The only they had in common was that Spikey stuck fish in his pants, Fish smelt like a fish, hence the name, Alicia's mother was named after a type of fish (Trout, if you were wondering), Maffia hit people with fish and Mohawk Mo (and Donnie too) thought fish were another name for "pickles".
Robobto shook his head and groaned. "Who cares if they write a song about loving a fish? I don't! I just want to make some money, leave it to my wife and die."
Mohawk Mo (and Donnie... ugh) started to sing in a little pre-school singing voice.
"I love you truly
It was Fish's turn, and with a very debonnaire glance on his face, he walked down the stage platform, kicking up his heels and wearing his box costume with a top hat on. (Think of a 1940's musical)
"Is it so hard to see that
Maffia hadn't been satisfied with only singing once so he shoved Fish out of the way and started singing the song "Mama" by the Spice Girls.
"Mama I love you
At this point of time Robobto had beaten his head against several walls already, 2 of which had caved in.
"Stupid... Idiot... This'll NEVER sell! I should've stayed with those Front Street Boys. DANG IT!"
Fish had started hitting Maffia with his cane and now Maffia had a bump on his head that was slowly growing larger and larger by the minute.
The monkeys on Maffia's back wern't happy with this act of Fish's and they attacked him, hissing and spitting and clawing on his hair.
Robobto had given up all hope at even retiring now.
Spikey ran wildly around on the stage, wetting himself every 3 minutes by the clock. He was squealing like a piggy and he started scratching his armpits and making loud noises with them. He ran offstage and found a bunch of orange cones (you know, the kind for marking things on the road) and then he kept running around the stage, placing the cones on a ton of random spots, such as Donnie's head, Maffia's pants, the lights surrounding the stage and then finally he started to pant from exhaustion and he plopped down and took a nap, a cone resting on his head.
Robobto had tried to be calm. He had tried to be reasonable. NOW HE WAS MAD!
While Maffia tried to get the orange cone out of his pants, Alicia started doing ballet all over the stage, and Mohawk Mo (and Donnie...) followed him in piroeuts, plies, and random frolics all over the stage area.
Robobto soon found himself on stage, hitting each of the idiots (including Donnie) and stood in the middle of the stage area, and began to scream.
"YOU BUNCH OF STINKING IDIOTS! THAT'S WHAT YOU CALL YOUR BEST?! YOU STOOD UP HERE, SANG SOMEWHAT, PUT CONSTRUCTION CONES ON EACHOTHER, LET MONKEYS LOOSE, DID BALLET AND TONS MORE POINTLESS STUFF THAT IS CURRENTLY FLUSHING MY CAREER DOWN THE DRAIN! WELL, THANK YOU."
Maffia shrugged and grinned. "No prob Robob."
Then his face lit up when he realized that the horrid name "Bob" was in their manager's name.
"Oh no." Robobto tried to run but it was too late, and Maffia and the monkeys attacked him, and flung him off the stage, back into Robobto's office, where he noticed with dismay, the camera had been on the entire time.
Maffia, Alicia, Spikey, Mohawk Mo (and Donnie) and Fish all help hands and sang the last verse of their song.
"RING AROUND THE ROSIE
And they fell down just as the camera turned off.
3 weeks later they made a million dollars and Robobto went bald from the shock of stardom from a song about fish.
Written and Produced by one of the producers of NARF SCHMEE FRAN, the company that brought you, "HARRY POTTER-- THE REMAKE!"
I got shoes and shivers down my spine
I eat fruit
and I don't care
And Spikey doesn't wear underwear
and you should go out with me!"
YOU ARE MAKING ME HYPNOTIZED
I LIKE SHOES AND I DONT CARE
BUT YOU ARE LIKE A MERRY-GO-ROUND
AND I WISH I COULD GAIN 56 POUNDS."
you are my only wish come true
and i would give everything to you
if you would buy meeeee a fish!
Cuz I luv those little cuties
they are flushable
and i love them
cuz they're very huggable!"
im not invisible
but i like glue
and i like Barbies
and I'm cool
so is Donnie
do we make you drool?"
I'm not invisible?
feel like a cat on the wall.
So if I go a little bizarre
run in things with my car
will you call my darling?
or will you tell me to get lost?
I think I might be part shark
maybe thats why my brain's dark
and empty.
Yeah"
Mama I care
Mama I love you
Mama I'll be there."
POCKET FULL OF POSIE
ASHES ASHES
WE ALL FALL DOWN!"