A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is a Boston Red Sox fan. She asks her students to raise their hands if they were Red Sox fans, too. Not really knowing what a Red Sox fan was, but wanting to be like their teacher, hands explode into the air like flashy fireworks. There is, however, one exception. A girl named Lucy has not gone along with the crowd. The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different. "Because I'm not a Red Sox fan." "Then," asks the teacher, "what are you?" "Why I'm proud to be a Yankees fan.", boasts the little girl. The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks Lucy why she is a Yankees fan. "Well, My Dad and Mom are Yankees fans, and I'm a Yankees fan, too!" The teacher is now angry. "That's no reason," she says loudly. "What if your mom was a moron, and your dad was a moron, What would you be then?" A pause, and a smile. "Then," says Lucy, "I'd be a Red Sox fan."
Just how long has it been since the Sox won?
To put that in perspective....since 1918...
1. Radio was invented; Red Sox fans got to hear their team lose
2. TV was invented; Red Sox fans got to see their team lose.
3. Baseball added 14 teams; Red Sox fans get to see and hear their team lose to more clubs.
4. The Ice cream bar was invented in Iowa (1922).
5. The Great Depression came about.
6. The US participated in two world wars, and four major armed conflicts.
7. Mahatma Gandhi lead the civil disobedience movement in India against Great Britain.
8. Man landed on the moon. (In fact, more people have walked on the surface of the moon than the Red Sox have championship trophies.)
9. Many Red Sox fans were born, died, and never got to see the Sox win a championship.
10. Many ballparks were built, and re-made.
11. Women were given the right to vote.
12. Two atomic bombs were dropped.
13. Element 87, Francium, was discovered.
14. Communism was born, resulted in a Cold War, the Berlin Wall and the eventually demise of.
15. A space station was developed, built and has orbited the Earth millions of times.
16. A robotic lander has traveled the surface of Mars.
17. Computers and the internet were invented.
18. The Civil Rights Movement was born, came to pass, and segragation was abolished.
19. The arrivial of the 21st Century!
20. African Americans were given the right to vote.
21. "The Star Spangled Banner" became the national anthem by act of Congress.
22. Flagpoles were erected on the Fenway Park roof to hold all of the team�s future World Series pennants. Those flagpoles have since rusted and been taken down.
23. Thirteen baseball players have won the Triple Crown; several thanked Red Sox pitchers.
24. The US Air Defense Command was created.
25. Amelia Earhart became the first woman to fly solo over the Atlantic.
26. Bell-bottoms came in style, went out of style and came back in style; disco did the same.
27. There were eleven amendments added to the Constitution
28. The NBA and NHL were formed
29. George Burns celebrated his 20th, 30th, 40th,50th, 60th, 70th, 80th, 90th, and 100th birthdays.
30. Babe Ruth was sold. He went on to win 4 World Series titles with the Yankees.
31. 1920- The 18th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution was passed by congress.... Just in time for the "roaring twenties".
32. 1922- Mussolini formed a fascist government in Italy
33. 1925- John T. Scopes was tried in Tennessee for teaching evolution in school. The "monkey trial" was defended by Clarence Darrow and Prosecuted by William Jennings Bryan.
34. 1925- Hitler reorganized the Nazi Party and published volume 1 of Mein Kampf
35. Babe Ruth hit 60 home runs for the New York Yankees.
36. Alexander Fleming discovered penicillin.
37. The first Mickey Mouse films were made by Walt Disney.
38. The Kellogg-Briand Pact, outlawing war, was signed in Paris by 65 states.
39. The Frisbee was Invented (1948).
40. The material called plastic was invented by Walter Morris.
Afterlife
Cyrus, the New England farmer died and went to hell. While down there the Devil noticed that Cyrus is not suffering like the rest. The Devil checked the gauges and saw that it was 90 degrees and about 80% humidity.
So he went over to Cyrus and asked why he's so happy. Cyrus said, "I like it here. The temperature is just like plowing my fields in June, ayuh."
The Devil wasn't happy with the farmer's answer as well as attitude, and decided to get him. So he went over and turned up the temperature to 100 degrees and the humidity to 90%.
After turning everything up he went looking for Cyrus. He found him standing around just as happy as can be. The Devil quizzed Cyrus again as to why he's so happy. The farmer said, "This is even better. It's like pulling weeds and stumps in the fields during July, ayuh."
The Devil, now upset, decided to really make this New Englander suffer. He went over to the controls and turns the heat up to 120 degrees and the humidity to 100%. "Now lets see what this farmer is up to," he thought.
He found Cyrus sitting on the floor even happier then before. The Devil can't figure it out. He asked the farmer why he's happy now. Cyrus replied, "This is great, it's just like working in the silo with my family and friends in August."
The Devil yelled, "That's it, I'll get this sh*thead." He went over and turned the temperature way down to a freezing 0 degrees and 0 humidity. Ice formed throughout the Netherworld. "Let's see what this jerk has to say about Hell now!"
The Devil looked around and found Cyrus jumping up and down for joy and yelling: "THE RED SOX FINALLY WON THE WORLD SERIES!!!!"
Two boys are playing hockey on a pond in Central Park when one is attacked by a rabid Rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy takes his stick, wedges it down the dog's collar and twists, breaking the dog's neck. A reporter who was strolling by sees the incident, and rushes over to interview the boy. "Young Rangers Fan Saves Friend from Vicious Animal," he starts writing in his notebook. "But I'm not a Rangers fan," the little hero replied. "Sorry, since we are in New York, I just assumed you were," said the reporter. "Yankees Fan Rescues Friend From Horrific Attack" he continued writing in his notebook. "I'm not a Yankees fan either," the boy said. "I assumed everyone in New York was either for the Rangers or Yankees. What team do you root for?" the reporter asked. "I'm a Red Sox fan," the child replied. The reporter starts a new sheet in his notebook and writes, "Little Bastard from Boston kills Beloved Family Pet."
Albert Einstein arrives at a party and introduces himself to the first person he sees and asks, "What is your IQ?"
The man answers, "241."
"That is wonderful!" says Albert. "We will talk about the Grand Unification Theory and the mysteries of the universe. We will have much to discuss!"
Next, Albert introduces himself to a woman and asks, "What is your IQ?"
The lady answers, "144."
"That is great!", says Albert, "We can discuss politics and current affairs. We will have much to discuss!".
Albert then goes to another person and asks, "What is your IQ?"
The person answers, "51."
Albert ponders this for a moment, and then smiles and says,
"GO RED SOX"!!
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