NYPD Blue Fanfiction

Weird Writer's Fanfic

Well, here it is. My first NYPD Blue fanfic. Don’t miss out on history in the making- check it out! It’s a Clark and Rita story, so if you don’t like that particular pairing, don’t come crying to me. It also contains some sexual stuff. You’ve been warned, so if you read it and get offended, don’t come crying to me. Non-crying feedback is taken happily at [email protected]  

 BENEATH THE SURFACE

By Weird Writer (aka Fanficauthor713)

***

         He was sick of trying to pretend that it didn’t hurt.

     As John Clark sank down into his sofa that night, that was the only thought that his mind would allow him to think. His dad, who had once been his knight in shining armor. Banging hookers, getting tied up in scandals, eating his gun.

     Rita. He loved her. But God knows he couldn’t deal with loving anyone after what happened with his father. It made him feel too guilty. He just shut down on her. She demanded more from him and he just shut down. She was there for him, and he couldn’t accept her help. He kept telling himself that it was for the best. She should be with someone who was capable of giving her what she deserved.

     Even his relationship with his partner, Andy Sipowicz, had suffered since his father’s suicide. Cleaning his gun my ass. Yeah, good one Andy. He accepted his friendship readily, but John could not accept his help.

     But he couldn’t help himself. He wanted to be whole again. That is, if he ever really was.

     For a reason that John was not yet sure of, the shooting incident involving Fraker brought to the surface all of the emotions that he had been struggling so desperately to keep to himself. He worried about the Lieutenant, but he knew that wasn’t it. It was something more than that. Picturing Rita in that position killed him inside. He wanted her to be safe. Wanted to protect her. John wanted more than anything to comfort her in her time of grief. But he hadn’t earned the right to speak to her at all, what with his recent behavior.

     John heard a knock at his door. He slowly got up and went to answer it. He looked through the peephole and spotted Jennifer Devlin. Jen was his girlfriend, after all, so it surprised him how much he didn’t want to see her right now.

     He opened the door for her anyway.

     “Hey,” he greeted her absent-mindedly.

“Hey.” She grinned at him. “I just thought I’d drop by. There’s something that I think you should know.”

“What’s up?”

“Can I come in?”

“Of course.” Jennifer walked in the door and gave John a kiss on the cheek.

“I just wanted you to know that our involvement came up during the trial.”

John was stunned. “Did it hurt the case?”

“Maybe a little bit. But it’s okay, right? Because you and me have more than just a honey bottle.”

John was very unsuccessful at keeping her from seeing that he was freaking out. His romp could sink Rodriguez. Hurt Rita even more. Betray his whole squad. Help get that asshole Fraker back on the streets.

“Oh God.”

Jennifer smiled at him. “John? It’s okay, right? No big deal, water under the bridge. We can move on from here, right?”

“I’m not so sure that we can.”

Jennifer’s smile faded immediately. “Why not?”

“What do we have together besides that honey bottle? Besides sex?”

“You seemed to have no problem with the sex.”

“I didn’t then. But this is hurting my squad.”

Jennifer glared at him. “So basically, what I’m hearing here is that you and I don’t have enough of a relationship for you to jeopardize your colleagues over.”

John sighed. “Jennifer, I’m sorry. I would just be using you as a temporary distraction from all of my own bullshit. Go find someone who will see you as more than that. You deserve that much.”

“I’ll do that, John.”

When she left his apartment that night, that was the last John Clark ever saw of Jennifer Devlin.

***

Rita buried her head in her hands. She leaned against the inside of the door of her apartment.

It was all coming back. Somehow, being torn apart on the stand by that asshole brought it all back. She hadn’t shown it then, but it was all she could do right now to hold it together. Not only was there all the shit with Fraker, the terrible feeling of having to shoot a man but-

Everything with Don started coming to the front of her mind. She thought they’d had something good together. Shit, she’d even really loved him for a long time. Then things started to go south. But it still hurt when she found him in bed with Gloria. It still hurt when she’d found both him and Gloria dead, killed by Gloria’s vengeful husband.

And then there was John. Rita was just now beginning to realize how deeply in love with him she was. It was different with him than with anyone else she had ever been with. Better. And then it fell apart. So quickly, too. Rita was beginning to think that she would never have a lasting relationship with anyone. She couldn’t even begin to think of John with that doctor. How could he get over her so quickly? It hurt her deeply to think that their relationship didn’t mean to John what it mean to her. That maybe it never did.

Rita both heard and felt a knock at the door.

The person she saw through the peephole terrified her and made her feel safe at exactly the same moment.

She opened the door and let John in.

Rita: Do you have any idea what time it is?

John: I know it’s way too late for me to be coming here. I’m sorry.

Rita: It’s alright, John. I wasn’t sleeping anyway.

John: I can see that. You’re still in your clothes.

Rita: So, what’s up? Rita tried her best to sound casual.

John: I wanted to see how you were doing.

Rita: That badly?

John: Yeah, that badly.

Something in his eyes made Rita open up, almost despite herself.

Rita: Honestly, I’m barely holding it together. All this shit is almost too much for me to handle.

John: I know the feeling.

Rita: I’m counting you as part of the shit that I can’t handle right now.

John: I guess I deserved that. But know that this hasn’t been easy for me either.

Rita: Yeah, well it looks me like you’ve got someone’s shoulder to cry on.

John: Then you’ve got the wrong idea. I don’t have anybody’s shoulder to cry on.

Rita: Sorry. I’m too exhausted to fight right now. I hope you’re happy. Really.

John: That’s why I came here.

Rita: Why?

John: Because you make me happy.

Rita: You know who’s shoulder you had, John? Mine! I was right there. I was right in front of you, and you couldn’t see me. You had goddamn blinders on.

John: I was too wrapped up in my grief to see you there.

Rita: I understand your grief. You never understood mine.

John: I was there for you too, you know. You could have opened up to me about all your shit with that asshole ex of yours, but did you? No. Not once.

Rita: (her eyes start to well up with tears, revisiting her past pains) It was too hard. But you protected me from it. You made me feel safe.

John: I never stopped loving you, Rita.

Something in her just breaks now. Tears start streaming down her face. John holds her, and she lets him.

John: Shh, it’s okay. Hey, everything’s gonna be okay.

She looks up at him. He strokes her hair. Gently, they kiss.

Rita: John, I don’t think I can stand to get hurt again.

John: I won’t hurt you. I never meant to before, and I won’t now.

Rita: (very softly) You know what I want right now?

John: What?

Rita: You.

She pulls him down to her and they kiss, more passionately this time. The kiss deepens, and they reawaken passion that they’ve both missed for so long. Before she knows it, Rita is leaning against the door again. This time, John’s hands are sliding under her shit, over her navel. Their mouths crash together hungrily. He takes her jacket off. Pretty soon, her shirt hits the floor too. John stops kissing her long enough to smile at her. She smiles back at him. Neither one of them can remember the last time they were this happy.

He undoes her jeans and pulls them down. She steps out of them and wraps her legs around his waist. She hurriedly gets his shirt over his head.

The bedroom seems too far away, so they end up in her kitchen. John sets her down on the counter.

John: You want this?

She nods.

John: I want you.

He starts to devour her. Kissing, licking all over her body. It’s gentle and passionate at the same time. She throws her head back and bites her lower lip. She moves over on the counter to make room for him. Pretty soon it’s skin on skin and they’re both lost in the emotion and the sweat and the wetness and the moaning.

When they both come back to their senses, they’re hardly able to believe what they just did.

John: I’m here. Whenever you need me. All of me. I’m tired of holding back. Tired of pretending that it doesn’t hurt.

Rita: Right back at you.

John: You wanna go to bed?

Rita: (grinning) Yeah, I do. A lot. Maybe we can even take a little something in there with us…

THE END