* Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eights cats to pull a sled through snow.
* Coffee should be black as hell, strong as death, and sweet as love.
* Celibacy is the worst form of self-abuse.
* Can atheists get insurance for acts of God?
* Can I trade this life for what's behind door # 2?
* Chocolate, men, coffee - some things are better rich.
* Courage is going from failure to failure without losing enthusiasm.
* Chaos, panic, pandemomium - my work here is done.
* Christians are generally creepy people as a direct result of the dysfunctional dynamic of worshipping a dead naked hippie.
* Cats seem to go on the principle that it never does any harm to ask for what you want.
* Can you imagine a world without men? No crime and lots of happy fat women.
* Consciousness is a prison.
* Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
* Christian fundamentalism: the doctrine that there is an absolutely powerful, infinitely knowledgeable, univers spanning entity that is deeply and personally concerned about my sex life.
* Christ died for our sins. Dare we make his martyrdom meaningless by not commiting them?