THE NEARNESS OF YOU

Chapter One: Ice Cream

That day... Oh, god. He'd not needed to tell Lex that he'd never- well, that Lex on the couch and the floor.  He didn't have to say that the whole thing had been his first- first...

He sighed. Yeah, exactly. And what an amazing first.

He couldn't remember anything but a blur of feelings, words and actions.

Anger. When Clark had arrived Lex had been angry and seemed so alone. He was pushing Clark away, yelling, telling him to leave, to just go. But Clark couldn't just abandon his friend, so clearly hurting and in need of- something.

Lex's demand for him to leave had become so hostile that Clark was sure the Luthor was going to deck him, right then and there. He braced himself more for the emotional impact that an action like that would have than for a physical one- something that would probably not even break his concentration.

Then he was caught by complete surprise.  He had felt his world, his inhibitions shatter as Lex yanked his head violently down into a bruising kiss, shocked when Lex had backed him into the desk and bit him again.  He had suddenly grasped just what Lex needed. Control, but not his own; someone else to take the helm and let him just ride out the storm. Something passionate and hard, almost violent in nature, but still pure. Fresh and pure.

At the feeling of the other man's erection on his leg he has lost and gained everything, including the self-confidence to do and say things to Lex that made him blush fiercely and harden in recount.  He had been freed from that moment on, able to give Lex what he needed, and at the same time allow himself the opportunity to show Lex everything he had inside.

So right with Lex in his mouth.

The lips, the chest, the hardness: it had resembled perfection of the highest order.  Like all of these years he'd been waiting to taste Lex just to find home and, once he found it, claiming Lex's body was like splintering into a million different pieces.

He'd never done anything overtly sexual before- holding hands, kissing girls, he'd even once felt a date up, but it was hasty and sloppy and mostly by accident.  But with Lex... With Lex need had driven them both and he had constantly been aware of Lex's state, watching the lust, the sweet agony, and even the pain cross those regal features.

How hard it had been to gain release, pushing, pushing, pushing and still nothing, but Lex had let him go harder, told him to go harder.

-Never felt like this, everything, everything and him so tight around me.  So hot and almost yielding, but not.-

He had come shouting and collapsing, feeling so in place on top of Lex.

-He's so perfect, so warm, so soft and hard beneath me. His fingers are in my hair, I could die.-

Later he had come again yelling Lex's name in the strongest passion he had known, holding the boy above him.

-I'm still in him and I can feel his heart beating so hard against my chest. Breathing. His breath matches mine.-

The doubt came, doubt about so many things, but it eventually ceased. Ceased when he told Lex how he felt.

"I love you, Lex."

Nearly impossible in it's accuracy and astoundingly easy to voice. Lex had yet to reciprocate the words, but Clark knew, given time and the right atmosphere, he would. As far as where the confidence in his knowledge came from, he could only guess that it originated in Lex's ardent actions and stormy eyes. He remembered the trust and the urgency, the lightning flashing within Lex when he looked deeply into Clark, their hot, moist bodies pressing together as they'd- as they'd-

He cleared his throat and shifted again, looking at his watch. Lex still had a good hour in his meeting and Clark was only fifteen, twenty minutes away from the office. What to do for 40 minutes? Read? Play Tetris? Imagine?

Hmmm... He could do that.

Looking out from his tinted view, he saw the city's hustle and bustle, felt it even, but he didn't really seem amongst it all. Instead he felt separated. Not above it or below it, just different. Apart. Solitary in a place teeming with people.

It must be the limo, he thought, a little unnerved. Really sets you aside from everything else.

He watched lazily as everyone ran here and there, their business suits portraying a self-consciousness and uniformity he didn't grasp, carrying briefcases and cell phones, laptops and pagers. All either important people or those striving to become. All big names to some less influential than them, but still nobodies to those higher up the food chain.

Sighing, he took his eyes away and sat back in the plush, lengthy carseat. Though he found the big city exciting and exhilarating to no end, he feared he'd never understand it. Sure, the crazy lives led in this city every single day intrigued him, but not nearly as much as Chloe, who seemed to live and breathe Metropolis or Gotham, LA or Paris. She was a city girl at heart.  It was another aspect of her that he adored and respected, but as far as comprehension went, she was on the same level as the city.  Utterly perplexing.

He'd just couldn't imagine himself ever living and prospering in a huge inner city, trading center and capital such as Metropolis. He'd be stuck in the midst for sure, just one of the faceless dozens following the mass. At least in Smallville a great number of people knew him. Here...  Here he'd just be a suit, a pair of feet, another cell phone going off in an already too crowded street. Someone in someone else's way to the top.

It was definitely Lex's scene, and he admired that.

Lex...

Clark leaned back.

+_+_+_+_+

After he'd grabbed Lex and told him that he loved him, the two had kissed passionately, rocking each other back and forth. The kiss had started off harsh in it's need and it proceeded to grow as Lex stepped into Clark only to, moments later, be startled and pulled away by the phone. Nell had called just to make sure that Lex, who had forgotten to phone her, had gotten in safely, and it coincidentally reminded Clark that he had to get home.

A disappointed and pleading look crossed Lex's face as Clark started to throw on his clothes.

-I have to go- he mouthed.

Lex nodded and held up a finger. "Can I get right back to you, Nell? Thank you. I did, thank you."

Lex hung up and crossed the room, buttoning his shirt with fingers practiced in the art of haste. He watched as Clark pulled his sweater over his head inside out and backwards then tugged humorously on the tag in front to get Clark's attention.

"Oh, right." Clark started to take off the sweater. When it was covering his face he felt fingertips graze the muscles of his stomach, and he paused.  The fingertips became a hand, then two, and his insides fluttered. The two hands caressed him gently and a pair of lips pressed to his right nipple. As a tongue flickered out to tease the tip, he inhaled sharply, his groin suddenly perking up. He felt Lex's teeth pulling carefully at the sensitive bud.

"Lex?" he croaked.

Feeling the mouth but not the hands leave his body, he tugged off the sweater to find a needy Luthor standing opposite him, still caressing his stomach. He grabbed his friend around his waist and pulled him near.

"I know you need to get home, Clark. It's just... I..." Lex shook his head and Clark frowned. Was he pulling back? Or trying to say something?

"What?" Clark asked.

"It's nothing."

Trying to say something then.

Lex reached up and kissed Clark quickly then stepped back to let the boy put his clothes on the right way. "Uh..." The Luthor smirked and ran his hand over his head. "This is going to be a first." He met Clark's eyes. "When can I see you again?"

Clark grinned and moved to button Lex's pants for him. "Well, I'm dropping off the produce Thursday. I probably won't be able to stay long, but... Is that good?"

Lex grinned and nodded, moving closer to him. "Mmm-hmm. Very good." The two began to kiss again and Clark easily overpowered Lex, who had to push him away before he devoured the older boy entirely.

"Sorry, I-" He blushed. "I like kissing you."

Lex groaned and pushed Clark towards the door, trying to get him out of the office. "Say that again and you won't be getting home."

"Promise?"

Lex opened the door for him. "I'm serious, Kent."

When he turned around he saw that Lex was trying hard to control his desires with an obviously painful patience. He decided it would be best if he just shut up. "Right. Sorry."

He moved to kiss Lex on the cheek, but even that simple touch, the baby soft ivory skin against his warm and begging lips... He lingered, aroused, and closed his eyes as he pressed his own cheek to Lex's. He wanted him so badly and knew the feeling was mutual. Would just once more be that bad?  Just a quick little romp? He could be a little late, he would be drawn and quartered for-

Lex cleared his throat and Clark started, reluctantly backing off, and seeing that he had made Lex blush. He wanted to touch the older boy, to push him back into the office and-

"I don't wish to be rude here, Clark-" Even his name seemed to be giving his friend a little trouble. "-but I think it would be best if you found your own way out."

Clark looked at the carpet, flashing a wide grin and thinking of all of the thoughts Lex's presence was inspiring.

He nodded. "Me, too."

+_+_+_+_+

Dinner with his parents had been more than interesting that night. He knew they'd never suspect him of anything, much less the truth, but was still a little nervous at being late. Fortunately, since he'd done more than his usual amount of chores, his father was pacified before he even drove up.  He hadn't minded the tardiness, only reminding Clark to ask next time he took the truck.

He was beaming the whole night and they had no idea why. How could they? He really didn't know just what to tell them. Even if Jonathon didn't absolutely despise Lex, Clark doubted he'd, well, approve of the newest development in his son's relationship with the rich scion.

Clark's bouncy, smiling, overly cheerful mood confounded them and they asked about the one thing they thought could contribute to their son's odd and out of character behavior: Lana. He told them a vague and outdated version of the truth: that he was getting over her a little. The news surprised them both greatly, but didn't seem to disappoint either of them.

When he finished eating, he washed his own dishes, hugged and kissed them both, told them he was just in a great mood, then slipped off to his room.

He hadn't even tried to focus on something else, instead just changing into his pajamas and wondering what Lex was doing right that moment. Wondering how he felt physically and emotionally. And physically. Wondering what Lex wore to bed, if anything, and what his sheets felt like. What it would feel like with his arms wrapped around that body, so warm and smooth, lean, his to touch, and no one else's.

His to love.

He had wondered what Lex would sound like returning those words, but for some reason wasn't able to conjure the timbre that could send shivers down his core and tingles through his fingers.

Once in bed long enough though, his lustful mood crumbled around the edges. The mistakes had come back to him. He remembered carelessly using his superspeed a number of times and this scared him. He couldn't let himself become him so heated, totally enamored with breathing and living Lex in every moment of their love-making that his actions took on indiscreet properties, becoming reckless about doing certain things.

He had briefly considered telling Lex the truth about his life, as he almost had earlier that day, before Lex took him in his arms. It was a good idea, but not right off, not as soon as they started. Not being completely honest was a selfish thing to do, and untrustful, but he had Lex, the boy was his now and he could not loose that. Lex actually felt something, love, for him and whether it was as strong as Clark's would have to be seen.

Clark's heart was too exposed, too pliable and would be for a while. He could not place himself on display, jeopardizing everything he wanted, everything he needed and everything he was lucky enough to have.

Not yet.

He had also realized that if he and Lex were going to get a chance to make anything out of what they had found, he was going to have to calm down, not be so eccentrically emotional, at least around his friends and family.

Well, maybe it was okay around Lana.

+_+_+_+_+

Wednesday was an early release day at school, so he was going to be stuck at the farm for almost four whole extra hours. Instead of doing chores at his more "regular" speed, he took his time, doing them as if he were being watched by wary and suspicious eyes that didn't know about his secrets. He needed something to keep him from thinking. And it worked. For a while. Then his thoughts came back to him, as did his desires, and he kept up his slower pace, now needing the work to keep him occupied and away from his parents.

Wednesday had seemed to crawl, and slither, then just when he thought it couldn't get worse, he'd gone to bed- but not to sleep. Thursday could not come fast enough.

Lex haunted him, the most aching and pleasant phantom Clark had ever known, the moans and pleading tones in his memory a constant soundtrack and just when he thought he was finally drifting off-

"Take me, Clark. Take me again."

That had kept him awake for another thirty minutes, then once again falling asleep, Lex's voice whispered-

"I'm yours, Kent. Harder than this. Please."

No, Thursday could most definitely not come soon enough. But then it did and it ended far sooner than it should have.

Arriving a few minutes earlier than usual, he had just put down a second load of produce in the large, Spanish-vogue kitchen when Lex jogged into the kitchen and over to him.

"Did you just- run in here?"

The rich young man grinned. "And all the way down from my office."  He pulled Clark from the produce and through the kitchen, his hand possessively fastened on Clark's upper arm.

"But I'm a little early. How'd you know I was here?"

"I always have security-" Lex started, opening the service stairwell. "-inform me of your arrival."

Clark blushed at the significance of Lex's admission. "Nevermind about ever trying to surprise you then."

The stairwell was tiny, cramped and about five feet long before it curved around out of sight. Clark frowned, wondering just where Lex was taking him.

"I still have about four loads in the truck, Lex." Lex pushed behind him and locked the door. "That was just the second. I have to-"

A fingertip stopped his lips and jump-started his firecracker libido.

"I told Phillip, my chef," Lex started, stepping in closer. "that he was to get his nephews to bring in the produce and help him separate it today. They've already started no doubt and will be done very soon. Now," Clark could see his mood quickly changing, could sense him becoming more frustrated. "I haven't much time here. With you. I have this stupid fucking-"

Clark brought his hand up and ran it down the back of Lex's head, stroking the skin with each individual finger, effectively cutting him off. Lex looked up at him, the now heavy eyes mellow and electrified in the same, his smile sweet.

"I have a meeting in five minutes. Now you stay here-" Lex put his hand on Clark's chest to solidify his point and looked startled to feel the heartbeat hammering adamantly away below his palm. He looked at Clark who was gazing intently at him, and his naturally wan skin begin to redden. "K-keep talking," he said, starting up the stairs. "And- and say my name again."

Clark grinned as the boy rounded the corner. "Okay, Lex. I've missed you. Lex. I've thought about you." He chuckled a little. "Lex." He paused and then decided what the hell, to just go for it. He lowered his voice and octave, bringing the volume up a notch. "I want you, Lex."

He heard another lock being engaged and the pounding of footsteps, speed tripled from when they were originally heading up.

Lex turned the corner and the next thing Clark knew, Lex's mouth was on his, the older boy's body slamming him into the heavy wooden door behind him. Lex was already breathing hard and skilled hands were tugging Clark's shirt from his waistband.  Just as he realized he felt Lex's erection through his jeans, pressing up through the other boy's slacks, Lex ground into him fiercely.

He broke away from the kiss. "Lex!" he cried out.

"Shhh!" Lex whispered, cool hands slipping under Clark's shirt to caress and pinch the warm skin underneath. "There are people in the kitchen, Clark."

As Lex got hold of his nipples, Clark moaned, then bit his lip in a pitiful attempt to keep quiet.

He heard "Allow me," and then Lex's teeth were on his bottom lip, nibbling, biting, pulling, his nipples still being harassed. Lex took Clark's lip into his mouth sucking and Clark heard a whimper, wasn't sure if it was his or Lex's or a shared communion, but he couldn't handle this, oh, god, he needed something to do, take something. He couldn't just let Lex touch him like this. It was misery.

He grabbed Lex's waist and pushed him away. "Goddamnit, Clark!" Despite the avid whispered objections, Clark pressed Lex into the hard, cold brick wall and urged him up another step so they were at even heights.  Lex looked almost fearful in his anticipation when he met Clark's eyes, and for a moment they paused, only the sound of their rapid breath and more rapid heartbeats meeting their ears.

Clark licked his lips.

Lex grabbed Clark's hair, jerking the boy towards his mouth. Lips met, parting even before contact and as their tongues met, Lex began moaning, softly but insistently. The vibrations issuing forth from Lex's wet mouth rattled him, and he lifted one hand to the back of Lex's head, dropping his other down into the older boy's pants.

As Clark's hand grasped hot, hard flesh, Lex gasped and threw his head back into the wall. Clark was instantly grateful that his hand, broken bone-proof, was cupping the smooth dome. He barely winced.

Lex shivered, and thrust once, frantically into the hand, crying out. Clark swallowed, his throat tight with tension, and began to nibble at Lex's neck. "Shhh... There are people in the kitchen, Lex."

The boy whimpered and pushed into Clark's hand again. "Clark," he hissed, his eyes still clamped shut, the expression on his face pained. "Please..."

Clark felt fire erupt from inside of him. There was something about Lex saying that work, in a sense begging, that turned his stomach into a bonfire and his brain into helium. He closed his eyes, pulling Lex's head closer, pressing them cheek to cheek. His hand below tightened. It started moving up and down, quickly and Lex shuttered beneath him. He started to move his hips opposite Clark's ministration, shoving himself into the hand.

"Clark! Oh, Clark!" the boy whispered loudy, making Clark's name sound like a prayer.

An abrupt and tenacious beeping infiltrated their lust, penetrating Clark's foggy focus on his lover. His hand stopped and Lex pulled away from his cheek, turning off the alarm on his watch.

"Clark, I-" Lex winced. "Shit. I have to go."

"What?" He just wasn't hearing right, that's all.

"I have to go."

A moment of silence settled wherein Clark realized that he had heard perfectly fine. "That's it then?" he asked, irritated. Lex said nothing and he pulled his hand away from Lex's crotch sharply. "Time's up, I guess."

Lex winced again and, grimacing, cupped Clark's face. "I'm so sorry, you have no idea how-" he grunted, his jaw tightened, forcing him to speak through clenched teeth. "-how hard this is to do, to say, but I have got to go."

Clark let go of Lex's head and backed away, feeling a shadow cross over him. He'd wanted nothing more but to be with Lex again since... Well since he was even still with Lex. That's all that had crossed his mind, that's all that he'd obsessed over. When his fantasy of Lex being his had come true the other day, all he wanted was to do it again, to affirm that he could take Lex anytime he wanted,but also that he could just be with him, arms around the older boy, lips on lips, hand in hand. There was a heavy amount of carnal pleasure, but Clark had thought that it was part of a deeper whole, just an extension of what they had both been feeling. But was he wrong? Was this only about the sex for Lex? The lust, the libidinous fulfillment?

Oh, what the hell had he gotten himself into?

Lex clutched Clark's arm and grimaced again. "If it was anyone else, Clark, I'd-" He was still breathing hard. "I'd make 'em wait, make them wait forever, believe-" He winced and Clark was beginning to put two and two together.

The wincing. "But my father's going to be there-"

The grimacing. "-via." He breathed in. "-via satel- Shit."

The strained voice. The hard breathing and the grunt.

Lex was in pain.  From the erection.

"He'll be there and if I'm late I'll have to spend time later listening to him ramble on-" another grimace. "Ow, shit." Lex turned around, away from Clark, chagrinned, and applied pressure to his groin.

Clark instantly regretted being so stupid and selfish, making Lex explain when Clark should have just trusted.

Of course this wasn't just about sex. To late he remembered Lex's reaction at the mention of Lana the other day in his office. The pain in his eyes when he thought that Clark was still in love with the girl.

This was not even close to being just about sex.  Sex was the primary way they could express everything right now.  That was all.

The memory of the look in Lex's eyes when Clark had mentioned Lana... It hurt and had him reaching for Lex, but the boy doubled over before Clark could hold him. Worried, Clark bent over and rubbed his hand on Lex's back, only to have it swatted away.  "Don't touch me."

Clark pulled back hurt, and feeling guilty. "Sorry," he whispered.

Lex sighed and grabbed for Clark's hand, pressing it to his forehead. "It's just it makes the pain worse. Your touch. But in a good way, don't worry. It's just-" He took a deep breath. "Not good now." Lex laughed a little and let go of Clark's hand.

He felt so stupid, so naïve and helpless. Horrible for backing away from Lex. "I'm sorry. Is there anything I can do?"

"Yeah." Lex looked up. "Can you leave? I'm mean, God, Clark, I wish you could stay, believe me, but-"

"I can't leave you like this, Lex."

"You make me like this. It'll be easier to calm down without you... here." Lex looked away. "Without you looking at me like that," he added softly.

"Like what?"

Silence.

"Lex?"

"Just go. I'll call you later."

"But I-"

"Please?"

Please. He'd do anything for that man's 'please', and since he could not touch or kiss Lex goodbye, because even saying something might make things worse, he just turned, unlocked the door, and left, making sure to close the door behind him, not wanting anyone to stumble upon Lex in such a debasing state.

He was still throbbing himself but was nowhere near as excruciatingly rigid as Lex, and he wished the boy'd had just let him continue. With as close as Lex was, it would not have taken him long to achieve release.

Damn watch went off and Lex cramped up. He couldn't imagine, but he wondered if it was more the thought of the older boy's father that had started the pain.

Back outside, the produce that Lex ordered was completely gone from Clark's truck, the other orders still there waiting patiently, leaves streaming in light breeze, ready to be delivered. He had been so wrapped up in Lex that he hadn't thought to ask the boy how the chef's nephews were going to know which batch was for Luthor Manor. They'd gotten the order right though, another mystery of perfection to be chalked up to the Luthor's exquisite taste in employees.

As he climbed in the truck to take off, the last thing he could think of was how he had not only backed away from Lex so coldly, but that Lex was now going to be late for that meeting anyway.

All because he'd made time for a selfish little farmboy in an insanely busy schedule.
 
 
 
 

To be continued...