THE NEARNESS OF YOU

Prologue: Just My Imagination

Clark stretched out trying to relax in the limo, but finding it difficult. The starched material of the brand new slacks he sported was rubbing against his legs, it's foreign presence itching uncontrollably. They weren't his personal choice at all, khakis being the most dressy equipment he preferred to don, but O'Brian, Lex's driver, had insisted he change once they'd reached the city. After all, according to Mister Luthor's business associates he was to associate with only a certain assembly of class, and the Kent boy was most definitely not part of that coterie.

So O'Brian, who wasn't half bad himself, had helped Clark pick up the pants and a new button-down.  He felt like Mister Rodgers in the damned thing.

Clark sighed and closed his eyes, thinking back on the first time he'd been with Lex. Immediately red tinted his cheeks, something that was all too common with him, and he grinned, remembering just how that day had come to be. Two and a half weeks ago, Lex had sent him a letter in the mail, containing tickets for he and Lana to go the Metropolis Musuem Science Specialties Exhibit, the one Lana had missed for the second time in a row, this time due to Nell falling sick.

+_+_+_+_+

He sat on the steps of his porch, done with homework and extra chores that were sure to make his father happy, finding himself more attracted to the handwriting on the page, than the possibility of the so-called "girl of his dreams" taking off with him to Metropolis on Lex.

On Lex. Yummy.

He had been sitting there rereading the words from Lex for about the twentieth time when he heard footsteps approaching and looked up to find Lana heading up the driveway, math book and binder in arms.

He grinned at her, knowing that she didn't need the help, but wanted it along with his friendship, his company. Something that he had constantly mistaken for more romantic affection. But that affection was devoted solely to Whitney Fordman and, not for the first time since their limo ride, he felt happy for Lana. She was his friend and if Whitney made her happy, despite the cross in the cornfield incident, Clark could be happy for her.

"Heavy reading?" she teased, making him smile. "Pretty focused on that letter, huh?"

"I guess so."

She sat down next to him putting her homework down in between them both. "The whole time I was walking and could see you, here you were," she gestured at him on the step. "Reading. It looks kinda short." She glanced briefly at the length of the letter. "Very short."

He put it and the envelope with the tickets in his pocket and stared into the fields across the street from his house. "Lana, I have a question to ask you, but don't worry. It's not about you."

Her eyes narrowed and she gave him a confused smile. "Okay. I think."

He smiled at her endearing lisp, always slight and subtle, and kept his eyes focused on the fields. "If you thought you were in love with someone, but it was a little... well, a little unconventional, and you thought they felt the same way about you because of things they said and things they did, but you weren't really sure... I mean, what would you do?"

After a moment he looked over and saw a stunned expression on her face. "What? It's not you, don't worry."

She shook her head and looked away, but kept stealing glances at him from her peripheral vision. "I know I wasn't supposed to know who you were talking about, but see... I work for my aunt and, well, he orders a lot of flowers from us, banquets and parties and I- I recognized the handwriting in the letter."

Clark, panicked, started to breathe a little faster.

"You were talking about Lex Luthor, right?"

He blushed and looked away from the fields, away from her, even in the side of his view. He hadn't wanted her to know what he was thinking, hadn't even been sure he wanted Lex to know. It had always been his secret, something that maybe made him feel a little dirty erotically speaking, but also so very, very happy.

Lately, he had been wondering if it was more than friendship he'd been seeing in Lex's eyes.  Found himself returning heated stares for the most miniscule of seconds. Found himself glancing at inappropriate body parts, wondering what it would be like, what sex among other things would be like...

With Lex.

But he wasn't gay, wasn't gay, just for Lex, all for Lex, and god why did Lana have to recognize the handwriting?

She looked over at him, placing her hand on his arm and just as he was really starting to freak and he was surprised to find that the calming affect she had on him lasted throughout the friendship without giving him the jittery feelings he'd had with the crush. "I would never say anything to anyone, Clark." Her voice was firm but gentle and when he looked up, he saw honesty tinting her face and eyes. "I swear. I just didn't know before. Though..."

"Though?" he offered.

"Though it makes sense," she said, grinning and blushing. She wrapped her arms around her folded legs and placed her chin on her knees. "All except for Lex trying to hook me up with you."

"You knew about that?"

She looked at him, confused. "About him trying to talk me out of dating Whitney and into dating you? I didn't know you knew about that. I always thought it was an independent venture of his."

He nodded, taken over by strange emotions. For one, he felt gooey inside that Lex was such a good friend that he wanted to see Clark happy with his crush and had actually tried to help. But the other feelings-

Disappointment and doubt were entering his mind as far as Lex's emotions towards him. If he would try to get Clark and Lana together, then was Clark's imagination just fabricating the existence of an attraction between the two of them? Was it just wishful thinking?

Oh, man.

He nodded to her, a little late. "It- it was. An independent venture, I mean. I didn't know about him talking to you. I thought you were thinking about the Radiohead tickets."

She smiled triumphantly. "I knew those were from him."

"Yeah." He tried to smile back, but he couldn't. There was a sour undercurrent in his saliva and his stomach was getting heavy. Wasn't Lex attracted to him? He could have sworn there was something dusky and suggestive in Lex's glances towards him. Those incredible gray-blue eyes...

"-what I would do?"

He turned back to Lana. "Huh? Sorry, I was sort of-"

"Thinking."

He nodded.

"Well, I asked if you still wanted to know what I would do?"

He nodded again. He was beginning to feel like one of those dashboard toys, a live and talking, baseball, head-bobbing thing.

"Lex is one of your best friends, right?"

He didn't have to think, just went on with the nodding.

"And you trust him?"

Ladies and Gentlemen, Babe Ruth up to bat. Mr. Ruth, please stop moving your head.

"Then I would go tell him how I felt."

The Babe stopped.

"What?"

Lana sighed. "How did Whitney and I get together, Clark? Do you know?"

He was about to nod, but instead ran his fingers through his hair. "Um... Eighth grade prom. He asked you out."

She shook her head. "A lot of people don't know this, but I asked him." She laughed at Clark's surprised expression. "He was so nervous around me, you know? I was a cheerleader, and he was a football player, but that doesn't mean insta-bam: perfect relationship. He was shy around me, and so I asked if he had a date for the eight grade prom and when he said no, I said I would love to go with him if that sounded good. He laughed. He said he would have asked but he was afraid of me saying no." She looked at Clark again, eyes suddenly serious. "I love Whitney-"

He marveled at how that sentence only made him feel elated for her, and not in the slightest bit sorry for himself.  Just a few weeks ago...

"-and if I hadn't asked him, I'm sure, positive, that he never would have asked me."  She paused.  "Do you think that Lex would say anything to you?"

Now, he'd thought about that before. As a Luthor, Lex would be used to getting what he wanted, when he wanted it, not having to ask politely for anything, just setting out to own it, to achieve. As a Luthor he was used to the self-confidence his money and status afforded him and the completion of conquests in his personal history.

But he wasn't a Luthor with Clark. Not for the most part anyway. He was just Lex. He treated Clark differently than he did anyone else, at least that Clark had seen. It was like he cared for the boy, liked the company, the bond. Clark didn't think that Lex would ever do anything to jeopardize their friendship, not if he'd thought about the consequences before hand, and Clark doubted Lex would do anything as monumental as coming out to Clark without rationalizing and reasoning it to death.

-If he thought about it at all.-

And if he did rationalize and reason it to death, he'd find more than enough rational reasons to stear clear from any such confession.

"No," Clark said simply.

"Okay, well, if there's one thing that my parents' deaths taught me, Clark, it's don't waste your time. Emotions are what make us human-"

He winced at that, only slightly.

"-they're what drive us, right? If you think that- that Lex could make you happy... Then by all means, you have to seize your chance. Your emotions should be worth that. No matter how unconventional something might seem, if it's a chance that you'll be happy, then isn't it worth it?"

He nodded again, slower this time and speechless. She stood up, taking her homework with her. "And I think your chance is now."

"Lex is in Metropolis with his father and some business associates."  He swallowed, hoping she didn't ask how just how knew. Not that she would, it wasn't something odd for him to know, especially since he was friends with the older boy. He just felt a little puppy-doggish at how he had acquired the information.

It had not been from Lex. He had dropped off the produce the other week to find no sexy suited Luthor to greet him and it had made him feel a little empty as he had really been looking forward to seeing his friend, even if it was only for a few minutes.

Running a few members of the staff at Luthor Manor through an extensive inquisition before finding out where their young master had taken off too... That wasn't something he was ready to proudly admit.

"Not anymore," said Lana, walking down the porch steps, her hand trailing down the banister. "He purchased a massive amount of wild azaleas for a brunch set for tomorrow at eleven. It came with a tip and a note to Nell saying he'd be home by six fifteen today, and he would call so they could talk about the arrangements."

Six fifteen. That gave him-

"Forty-five minutes," said Lana, grinning.

"But what about your homework?"

"I think I can handle it."

"Well, let me drive you home. It'll be on my way." Lana beamed at him, realizing he was going to take her advice not just soon, but now. The grin did not disappear until she wished him good luck and jumped out of his father's truck.

He waited until she was inside to back out of her driveway and head to Lex's, fighting all the way to Luther Manor against using Lex's favorite speeds.

If Lex had said that he would be home at six-fifteen to call Nell, he'd be there earlier and Clark decided it was wisest to just go and wait than to stay home and loose his nerve.
 
 
 
 
 
 

To be continued [aiming for tomorrow and it should be no problem]...