Subtle Shift Within

They were celebrating at the MidNight Round after catching the 'Playground Sadist'. Months and months of torment as to where the bastard was, and who his next victim might be. No mistakes meant no clues. There was nothing to find.

Then BAM! One fatal error, one piece of evidence that proved Martin Carrey's guilt. The man had run from the police after admitting his guilt and Stabler, the hot wire that he is, shot the man twice. Once in the leg and, when he kept running, once in the head.

But it was over with and done. For now they could pretend the good guys had finally won. They could pretend that the world was safe from all the psycho fucks in the world.

Munch smiled at his team, happy, too happy maybe. He was never happy. Well, he was drunk. That might explain things a bit.

They were all drunk.

Olivia laughed too loudly at her partner's joke, and was heard all throughout the bar. In response Elliot was sent into a laughing fit of his own. The two laughed together, grabbing each other here and there.

This groping between the two partners would not have caught the attention of any of the patrons. Just the two detectives opposite, who knew that Stabler was married and Benson was...

Well, as much as he hated to admit it, she was trouble. At least when she wanted something badly enough.

John felt a hand on his own arm and knew from the heat of the touch, knew from the sensations running rampant up and down his now overly sensitive arm, it was his partner, Finn.

His eyes traveled slowly down to the hand on his workshirt. His male partner, Finn.

He felt the hot breath in his ear as the black man leaned in to speak, his voice not even showing the six beers he'd just downed in rather rapid succession.

"Looks like someone won't be going home alone tonight, huh?"

Munch lustfully wished it was him.

He closed his eyes and nodded to his partner, pushing back the heated urge to let his hand casually fall to Odafin's muscled thigh with another sip of his drink. A gulp technically. A big one.

His partner would never understand the feelings that had started to grow and fester within Munch's all to fevered brain. Hell, he didn't understand them. In the last few months he had tried everything from real women, to sex videos and magazines, the last two of which he truly despised. All to get the sexual fantasies of the other detective out of his mind.

It, needless to say, had not worked.

Before recent developments, there had been only two other males in his life that he had been somewhat attracted to. Both had been in college with him, one a professor, the other a fellow Anti-Vietnam War protestor. They had similar beliefs and philosophies, wants and needs in life. Plus, it had been the era of free love.

But he had never felt like this. Chills and heat ravaging a path through his body in forceful unison at the mere look of Finn. Now he was inexplicably attracted to his very male, very muscled, and very black, [in nature, not so in color] partner. A man that he had very little in common with, other than a complete and unerring devotion to his job, to protect. A man hadn't even liked when he first met him, and was still getting used to him as a partner.

So why did John get so damn horny from just sitting next to the him?

Olivia and Elliot stood up, dropping their tips. "I'm gonna..." Stabler stepped back from the table and put on his jacket. He looked at the woman next to him, eyes sultry and lustful. "I'm gonna take Liv home you guys." He turned back to them. "You two sure you can handle this place?"

Finn smirked at Stabler's comment. Munch laughed, a little too giddy and anxious at the thought of being left with his partner. "Oh, yeah. Here to pick up chicks, right Finn?". Just one of the guys.

My ass.

Stabler helped Olivia into her coat, smiled knowingly at John, then looked at the man sitting next to him. "Watch this guy."

Finn smirked again. "Oh, yeah."

A part of him hoped that the tremble Odafin's sometimes deep voice sent down his spine went unnoticed. Another part screamed to be noticed, to be touched and fondled and... yes, loved too.

He was fairly good at silencing that part.

"I've decided to get very drunk," he announced to his partner, his voice slurring some.

Finn looked at him, odd expression confusing Munch. "I'd love to join you, but it looks like I should take over the designated driver role."

"Responsible of you."

The waitress, a cute little blond flashing teeth, tit and ass in every corner, approached. It was no surprise to him that he wasn't in the least bit interested. He ordered two more drinks, then caught his partner's stare.

"What?"

Fin ordered another drink from the waitress.

"I thought-"

"I can catch a cab."

"Your car-"

"I can come back for it in the morning."

+_+_+_+_+

Munch laughed harder as his partner pulled him out of the taxi. He had been laughing since about 12am. He knew it was now after 2. He doubted he had ever laughed so much in his life.

Funny things, nerves...

He stood straight, fighting not to sway, but only causing himself more hilarity at his failure.

Finn was yelling to the cabby to stay put, that he'd be right out.

"Not if I have anything to do with it." Munch said automatically, and without any thought about what he was doing, pulled his partner drunkenly up against him, his scrawny chest to Finn's more powerful one.

Suddenly, overwhelming emotion overcame Munch, and his eyes grew heavy with a lustful appetite he hadn't experienced in many years. As he stared into the black man's eyes, his secret need grew inside, and his body betrayed him, starting to show signs on the outside as well. He could feel his cock coming to life as he held his partner in his arms on the cold streets of New York.

Finn's full lips were open slightly, breath pluming from his mouth. It was an erotic sight for a man almost over the edge. "John, man. What's up?". The voice sounded strained but curious.

John tightened the grip he had on Tutuola's heavy leather jacket, not really sure what he was doing himself, only knowing how right it felt. He moved his head slowly forward, inching towards his partner's, and noted with surprised elation that his friend did not move to deck him, or even pull away.

The cabby beeped his horn, breaking the moment between the two men. Finn pulled away to look at the driver. Munch's heart fell, doubting he would ever get up the courage to do that again.

The driver leaned out the window. "You gonna get him up to his apartment or what? I got better places I could be, pal."

"Yeah. Just hold your fucking horses, huh? I'll be a few minutes."

Finn grabbed Munch's arm gently but firmly, and pulled him into the heated apartment building.

They walked to the elevator and boarded it.

"What floor?"

"Sixth."

Finn pressed the button and, as the doors closed and they started their ascent, kept his hand in place on his partner's arm. Munch noticed the lack of any awkward or uncomfortable moments on the ride, and liked the thoughtful stare Finn was giving him.

So Finn wasn't going to punch him. But then again, Munch thought, I didn't even know what I was doing. And I'm drunk... Understatement. I'm tanked. He might not have even picked up on what I want... what I need. Really, really need.

He frowned realizing that he himself had no real clue as to what his heart and mind longed for. Other than the impossible.

The elevator doors opened and he sighed deeply, the elation and contentment at the moment gone.

"Where's your place?"

Munch looked left and right, thought for a moment, then looked helplessly at his partner.

Finn smiled. "I didn't know a man could get this drunk. You're real... weak when it comes to alcohol, aren't you?"

Munch didn't know if it was too many drinks fucking up his system or if that suggestive tone in Fin's voice really existed. He didn't dare hope.

"What number?"

That Munch remembered. "69."

Finn looked at his partner, raising an eyebrow.

Munch swallowed, aware of regained momentum south of his border.

"Honest."

Tutuola looked right and left, then walked towards 69, pulling Munch with him.

As they reached the door, Finn reached into Munch's coat pockets looking for the keys. Not finding them there he reached into his pants pockets, inadvertently brushing against Munch's growing erection, and sending electric fire through Munch's body. He breathed in sharply, and it was everything he could do to keep quiet and not press himself urgently against Finn.

His partner paused at Munch's sudden intake of air for the merest of seconds, an almost imperceptible hesitation... But it was there.

John lowered his head, suddenly feeling pathetic and very, very dizzy.

Just as Finn's hand removed the keys from his left pocket, Munch swaggered and fell against the doorframe, world spinning.

Tutuola caught the sick man before he could tumble to the floor. Unlocking and opening the front door to the apartment he tried to assure his friend. "Come on, it's okay. You'll be fine. Just need to get you in bed."

"I wish." he murmured, leaning up against the broad, strong shoulder of his partner. He did not fail to notice the arm tight around his own narrow and less impressive shoulders, helping to lead him into the dark apartment.

"Which way's the bedroom?"

He pointed to the right. Finn followed his direction and opened his bedroom door.

He momentarily let go of Munch to look for the lights, despite the ambient glow of the street and star light from outside the window. Munch stumbled to the bed and fell face down onto the comforter.

"Oh, no you don't." He could feel Finn's hand rubbing him soothingly across the back, stirring his still present erection to a salute of fuller attention. "Come on. Up."

When Munch didn't move, he heard the man sigh and grab his arm gently, struggling to pull the coat off his wasted partner. Once he got it off he tossed it onto the floor, walked around to the head of the bed, grabbed John's arms and pulled him up to the pillows.

When John's face hit the pillow, he moaned from satisfaction. The friction had been good for his slowly hardening cock, and he wanted more. Much more.

Finn gently removed the glasses from John's face and put them on the nightstand, then walked back to the foot of the bed and started to remove Munch's shoes.

"I'm gonna need those."

"Not right now you aren't."

He heard the shoes being tossed to the floor, probably alongside his coat. On any other occasion he would have been furious at the pure untidiness that his partner displayed. But right now, it really didn't matter.

As Finn flipped him over lightly, his hard shaft was thrown into light, and John felt embarrassed and exposed. He could feel his face flush, but dared not move. He just awaited his partner's reaction.

But there was none. Tutuola just pulled up at the sheets.

At that moment, John realized that he was too gutless to explore, to seek affections from a man. He was a little afraid of what Odafin might do to him, but he thought, if anything, the man had shown a side of patience that Munch had never known existed.

Was he just too afraid to except the change? The subtle shift within himself, mind and body, that caused him to become more than just a little sexually aroused by his partner, a full fledged male.

As Finn picked up his legs and moved them partitally under the covers Munch figured that, if he didn't make a move, he'd never know how this man's lips tasted, what his kisses were like. And he wanted that. At this moment, that was all that was consuming Munch's thoughts. Finn's lips, his tongue.

His warmth.

The fact that if he didn't act now he might never get another chance hit him like a smack in the face from his third wife.

He waited for Finn to move closer. As he pulled his upper torso off of the comforter and sheets, Munch took his opportunity.

He quickly grabbed his partner's tie, pulling it out of it's vest and down towards him. With all the strength he possessed, he pulled his head off of the pillow to meet the lips he was pulling down. An instant later they met, sending waves of adrenaline through Munch, who was then able to push himself harder against the luscious lips that had held his attention captive.

Everything in his body wanted this kiss to be all things, wanted this kiss to say everything that societies stigmas forced him to keep at bay. He wanted the kiss to be romantic and passionate... But it was off center and so very clumsy.

Which was one of the reasons that John was surprised when Odafin's lips wavered then parted, allowing exploration. When Finn started his own hesitant probing of the warm, soft cave with his moist tongue, Munch's heart tripled in it's rhythm. He became more fierce in his expression of passion, and moaned in pleasure when Finn replied with the same force and passion.

The bed sunk lower under Finn's weight as he leaned half on the bed, leaving one foot on the floor. His hand lowered to his partner's chest, stroking, feeling. Munch could feel the fingers working their way under the buttons of his shirt and-

Again, John moaned into his partner's mouth, this time at the touches, skin on skin, that his partner had bestowed upon him. His breath quickened and he kissed Finn more forcefully, not willing to break the oral embrace, wanting to savor each second, each new feeling.

He raised his knee and, testing his limitations, rubbed it against Odafin's crotch. Finding it rock hard was not what he had expected.

And being discovered was not what Finn had expected.

He broke the kiss and pulled his hand from Munch's chest. After a moment he pushed John's knee down and, for the second time that night, accidentally grazed it against Munch's cock, only harder than the first time.

Munch arched into the hand of his friend, unable to control himself. He wanted Finn so badly every nerve ending in his body was screaming for more sexual tension and release at the same time.

John grabbed his hand before Odafin could move away, pushing it harder onto his crotch. Stars shot before Munch's closed eyes and he lifted his hips into the hand again, craving touch and pressure on the swollen body part.

He had been lonely for so long... Too long for a human being to go without physical and emotional needs being attained to. Too long for someone to go without comfort. And Finn wanted it to. It was obvious from the rock hard package the man sported in his slacks.

"Stay with me tonight. Please?... Be with me." His begs were strained whispers, issued from a tight throat. He was so afraid of rejection, afraid of his pleas being forsaken.

"I... I can't. You're drunk, John. You're so drunk." Was that yearning in Finn's voice? Or just patience about to be lost.

He was sure he knew yearning when he heard it. And he wasn't the only one around here with stiff appendage.

Finn patted his friend on the cheek, then covered his body with the blanket, turning to leave. He opened the bedroom door and before he exited, spoke.

"I'm sorry about this, John."

The bedroom door closed, as did the apartment door moments later.

Munch closed his eyes to the pain, not allowing tears to escape and run. He hadn't cried in how long? Whatever the timeline, it was long enough to keep the abstinence of tears going.

He shivered, hating himself and the empty bed. Hating the starlight and the alcohol in his system. Hating Benson and Stabler, Olivia and Elliot, who wouldn't sleep alone tonight.

He hated everything and everyone. Everyone, that was, except Finn. He wanted to, but couldn't. So he just rolled over on to his stomach, trying his best to ignore the craving in his body below the upper torso, and closed his eyes.

It would be a long time before he would sleep.

+_+_+_+_+

Finn walked out into the freezing New York air, hoping the chill would dampen his desire. But as he stood there waiting for his erection to soften, he realized what he had just closed the door on.

John had wanted him. Why should not have been important.

He had almost leapt on the older man like a starved dog on a T-bone. He had had previous thoughts, desires about ravishing him. Here was his chance. Right?

Evidently not. Keeping him from taking Munch into his arms was the respect he had for the man and his respect for their jobs.

That's bullshit, he scolded himself. You were afraid of what would happen in the morning when he realized that he had had sex with you.

If anything, that realization should have shriveled him like a three week old hot dog. But he was still as hard as when he left the bedroom.

Fighting the urge to go back to John, who was no doubt drunk out of his skull for even offering what he did to his partner, he looked around for the cab, hoping the driver merely moved. But, alas, the car was nowhere to be seen.

He walked up to a payphone and thought about calling for a cab, but then figured it'd be best to just walk it off for a while.

As he started in the direction he hoped would eventually lead him to his apartment, he thought about Munch lying on the bed, pleading with him to stay. Finn had wanted with every cell in his body to say, yes, absolutely.

But Finn knew the older man, knew he didn't dig guys, knew he was just incredibly lonely, though he'd never admit to it. Munch had most likely just picked up the vibes from his partner, the vibes Finn had been feeling for months now, when John had finally let down the barrier and allowed the two of them to become friends.

His partner had never inquired if Finn had a girlfriend and Finn had never offered information. It was better when you were a bachelor to let people think you were a player. At least it was for him.

He's gonna wake up and not remember a damn thing, Finn thought trying to convince himself more than actually believing. He was afraid that Munch was going to remember everything, was going to realize that while he was drunk he had hit on his partner and... almost been excepted.

Finn had no delusions about his partner's reaction tomorrow when he remembered that he wasn't the only one with woody that night. Or that he hadn't been pushed away when he moved to kiss-

The kiss.

Finn could feel his body reacting to the memory, stirring again, heating up. He tried to forget about the passionate embrace, tried to calm his body, but the memory came back with a vengeance, stopping him in his tracks as he relived the all too brief but wonderful connection.

Munch's hand pulling him down had surprised him, and his heart had beat so fast he thought it would burst from his chest. Soft lips pressed urgently to his, and the fervent tongue of his partner eagerly slipping into his mouth when he had parted his lips.

Finn, dazed from the kiss, had hopefully thought that maybe Munch knew what he was doing. Maybe this wasn't just the loneliness, the need for compassion and physical expression. Such burning passion couldn't come from alcohol alone, could it?

Finn had been busy losing himself beneath the intensity of the situation, when Munch had lifted his knee. It had gently collided with Finn's erection. Just that simple pressure, just that single intimate touch from such an intoxicating moment, had driven him half out of his mind, and he had to breathe. He broke the kiss to see John's eyes looking at him questioningly, almost... innocently. He wanted in that instant so much to push into the knee... He had wanted to take Munch right then and there. Animal hunger had filled his body. Forget the consequences-

Then it had hit him. Consequences. Munch was his partner in law. His straight partner in law. And he had just risked being transferred. If Munch were to remember this in the morning... Well, being transferred wasn't the only problem he had to worry about.

He had pushed the knee rather gently from his crotch, but had ended up pressing down on Munch's. The man had not only arched up into his hand, but then grabbed it and pressed his cock eagerly to it. And if that weren't enough, he had asked Odafin to stay.

There he was standing at the bed of the man he had wanted to become his lover for... How long now?? Standing there with his partner's hand on his, holding it against his erection. Looking into the eyes of this man that he was sure he'd fallen for.

"I..."

Will. I will.

It had been on his lips. But instead-

I can't. You're drunk, John. You're so drunk."

It had torn him apart to say no, but he had to. Munch had no idea what he was getting into. Even if he did, maybe Odafin didn't.

Finn rubbed his hand against his face looking for a payphone. Fuck walking it off. He had to get home quickly and take a cold shower. And when that wouldn't work he would just have to satisfy himself.

And go to sleep, if he could. Emotions would rage their battle with worry about tomorrow's inevitable confrontation, and he hated the fact that he would be there sated but wide awake when worry came out victorious.



To Be Continued...