TITLE: What Are You Doing New Year's Eve? [Chapter Five]
AUTHOR: Nymph Du Pave
FANDOM: Smallville
PAIRING: Lex Luther/Clark Kent.
RATING: PG-13

Chapter Five
 

"Didn't mean to scare you."

"I'll bet," said Lex, returning the smile, his a little less stable than the farmboy's. His recent discovery that Clark could read his mind fairly accurately made looking into his eyes a little disconcerting.

Oh, but wouldn't that be embarrassing to see the recognition in his eyes now? The recognition of your adversity towards the teen princess next door?

No, there was no way that Clark could know what was running through his head.

"Mom saw your car outside," Clark said, stepping forward. "-and we figured you came out here." He was so easy, so cool and relaxed. Could what happened yesterday really mean so little?

Nothing happened.

Lex found himself heavyhearted that Clark didn't seem to even register a little chagrin, a little bashfulness around the man who so obviously was pining for him.  In fact he seemed just as brazen as he had been before Lex had moved to- moved to-

Kiss him, but goddamnit, make up your mind! You said you wanted him to forget, and that's what he's done. He's forgotten, now let it go.

Clark walked up next to him and stared out at the picturesque scene before him. Lex was surprised to see the eyes darken just a bit as they passed over the Lang house and wondered if Whitney Fordman happened to be paying his lady a holiday visit.

Lex focused on the fields instead of his friend.  "What happened with the telescope?" he ventured.

Clark cleared his throat. "I found out last week that I get a better view from the north."

Lex, stunned that Clark had moved the intstrument from it's prime location, looked back to him, but the farmboy kept his eyes rooted to whatever held his attention outside.

A week? Clark has been without the Lana Channel for a full week?

"Is it worth it?" To his embarassment his throat sounded as dry as it felt.

Clark looked at Lex from the corner of his eye, then back to the landscape, smiling. "Completely."

Lex wasn't sure what to think. Maybe…

Let's not go there, shall we?

"You know I stare out at this everyday, and most times it's beautiful, but tonight…" he trailed off and Lex looked over curiously at him. The boy was biting his bottom lip, the same full bottom lip that Lex had almost tried out for himself the other night. He licked his own lips and looked away, trying to reign in control of his overactive imagination, begging him to yet again to relay the other night's events and possible subsequent endings.

Possible subsequent endings, like Clark allowing the kiss to happen, then kissing back, holding Lex to him, and Lex devouring everything inside.

"It's jarring how magnificent it looks." Clark paused, looking even more reflective. "Especially with a friend."

Shit, Clark. I wish you'd just stop speaking sometimes.

"It maintains certain qualities." Lex was trying for the indifferent appreciation, but it wasn't working so he sighed, giving in. "Aesthetically resplendent qualities."

Clark smiled mysteriously, something Lex had learned to just appreciate instead of trying to elucidate. "Let's go. We're ready to light the house." They turned from the window and walked towards the stairs.

"That was fast."

"I wouldn't say that.  We've been working on and off in shifts since four this morning."

"I meant that you're all ready to-"  Lex stopped, stunned.  "Wait a minute.  What?"

Clark stopped at the top of the stairs, turning to face him.  "We've been wor-"

"Nevermind. I don't think I want to hear that again, you fanatic."  He savored the grin he recieved.  "Is that how long it normally takes you?"

Clark shook his head.  "We usually do a few hours a day."

"How many days?"

"I don't know.  Four or five."

Lex's mouth gaped.  "Four or five days?"

Clark thought for a moment.  "Last year's took a full week, but we had a mini-blizzard so that doesn't really count."  He turned and headed down the stairs.  "Horrible on the crops but you would have loved it, Lex.  Snow falling all the time."

"You really get into this whole 'Christmas spirit' thing, don't you?" Holding the rail a little less tightly with Clark around, he followed his handsome ally down the steps bumping into the broad back as Clark abruptly stopped. He turned with a serious expression on his face, unsettling the chatty mood they had established. "Thanks for coming, Lex."

Anytime, Clark.

"Sure. I-," he looked down, thinking about how much he treasured being invited. "Thanks for asking," he said simply.

There was a moment, a single crystalline moment, transient in its mortality, where Lex thought he saw desire in Clark's eyes. Something thick and special, something more than friends, more than just a fondness. It was deepening their connection, but Lex couldn't trust himself to believe in what he saw. Not after he'd already proven just how inaccurate his usually astute Luthor observations were becoming.

Must be on the blink. Damn holidays.

Clark turned, ending the moment, and walked down the last few steps, waiting for and walking out with Lex, keeping his gait slow and relaxed.

As they came out of the barn a chilled wind hit them from the front and Lex pulled his coat tighter around him, marveling at how the weather seemed to have no effect on Clark. Just as yesterday when the boy had walked him out to his car in only his tee shirt, he appeared to radiate his own natural heat.  A heat that Lex very much wanted to be a part of.

As they drew closer to the farmhouse, he saw Martha and Jonathon step out from the kitchen door carrying two steaming mugs each and conversing affectionately. Immediately, he felt better seeing that Jonathon had acknowledged his presence via the drink and was still able to be jovial. Lex had no illusions of the man's still constant feelings about him and Luthors in general, but his hopes that he could eventually win over his best friend's father were increasing in strength.

Lex continued to walk ahead, not noticing that Clark had stopped until he felt the boy's hand reach out and pull him back to stand close beside him. "We've got to wait here."

Lex nodded and breathed in the fresh air as Clark's parents neared. Jonathan greeted him with a thin but genuine smile. "Lex."

He couldn't help but grin like an idiot back at the senior Kent. There had not been a bit of disdain to the man's posture or within his eyes, and he held only the slightest reserve of hesitancy. "Mr. Kent."

Jonathon nodded to him, then turned to his son, smile growing in proud recognition of the boy and handing him some cocoa.

Lex knew that Jonathon Kent had not really been won over by the gift Lex had given him, something comfortably within his own price range and something that he could actually use. It had been nice, no doubt, but a more likely a factor to his suddenly indulgent behavior was the fact that Lex's gift to Clark had taken thought and some honest knowledge of the boy. Not everyone knew of Clark's many varied interests and only a true friend would have thought of Clark while receiving the scientific material. Lex figured that last night was the first time it occurred to Jonathon that a Luthor might be solemnly interested and attached to his son, that maybe the friendship wasn't a one-sided issue that would eventually crush his son.

He guessed last night was the first time that it had occurred that maybe Lex didn't want to use and change Clark, that maybe he just wanted him for who he was.

Of course, the fact that Clark had invited Lex over on Christmas Eve to partake in something that people generally kept within the family had probably also struck a cord within the elder Kent.

"Want some?"

He looked up to see Martha holding hot cocoa in a large coffee cup, beaming up at him, and his grin grew impossibly wider at the tiny woman's presence. "Absolutely."

He took the beverage from her and she moved to stand between him and Clark. "Your own cup this time."

He would have preferred sharing a mug with Clark, but at the same time he liked having a Kent dish specifically designated for him; it made him feel warm and content, even out in the chilly weather. As he took a sip of the sweet, thick liquid, he glanced at the other three faces, amiably talking about something or other, and it settled on him just how lucky he was to have something special to do tonight. Not since he was a child had he had some revelry on Christmas Eve. He made a mental note to find someway to thank Clark for this moment.

Jonathon stepped back and looked at them, now his three captive audience members. "Are we ready?"

The look on Clark's face took on that of a six year old who'd just been told that Santa was coming and the cookies were ready, and could he please go to bed before St. Nick skipped the house entirely because one little boy was not yet where he was supposed to be. Lex saw Clark actually bouncing exuberantly on the balls of his feet. "Yeah, Dad. Come on."

Lex laughed at the enthusiastic display and Clark caught his gaze, narrowing his eyes and sticking out his tongue. He amazed himself- and Clark- by returning the gesture and making Martha laugh. "Boys," she warned and touched Lex's shoulder. He felt warmer from a simple touch of her fingers than a hundred cups of her hot cocoa could've make him.

"I bet we've got the McKenzie's beat this year, huh, Dad?"

Jonathon looked at his kid, with a stern face belied only by the humorous glint in the eyes. "Now, son, it's not about outdoing the neighbors. This is about-"

"Showing our Christmas spirit." Clark finished for him in a mockingly solemn tone that contrasted ardently with the huge, silly grin on his face.

"Right." Jonathon ruffled his son's hair. "But being more decorative than Jamey and Leeh was the only advantage for being so darn late with the lights."

Lex couldn't believe he'd just heard the word 'darn' come out of someone older than four.

This is so surreal. It's like a Disney movie. He pondered that for a moment. But in a good way.

"Alright." Jonathon rubbed his hands together. "Let's see just how our hard work pays off."

Lex flushed all over with excitement and watched as Jonathon took off towards the house. He breathed in the air again and noticed that the clouds above had grown thicker, the chill more inert, and the electricity in the air- or was that his spirit, taken from the coat closet of his heart and dusted off?- had become more potent. All definite indications of impending snow and Lex hoped it came soon. It would certainly fit with the atmosphere the Kents labored so strenuously to achieve.

"Okay, everybody," called Jonathan. "Close your eyes."

Lex watched the other two obey, then followed suit.

"No peeking, Clark, Martha." A pause. "You either, Lex."

He kept his eyes closed tight, awed at the feeling of flutters in his stomach.

It's just a bunch of stupid colored lights on a house. He knew it was more than that, though. It was being wanted, it was feeling like you were wanted and that was something he hadn't been for a long time.

Colors flooded his eyes behind the lids, becoming brighter and brighter and he almost looked. "Not yet," whispered Clark and Martha almost in unison.

Is this whole family telepathic?

Lex breathed in deeply and heard Jonathon running back to them. "Okay. Open up."

Before he could, he heard the gasp from Martha and a happy, triumphant laugh from Clark. He looked and was rendered speechless.

Magnificent.

The house was covered from every angle in colors, but this was not just your typical various multi-colored twinkle-light assemblage. The only colors allowed were red, green, white and a yellow so deep it was gold. The lights were arranged so that the whole roof was glowing in stripes of brilliant red and green, like a huge present wrapped in glittering paper; the porch columns, rails and even the chains to the porch swing, were done up in the pure, angelic white; the four trees closest to the house were dripping in aureate, graced so richly that you felt it in your bones.

"Wow," Lex croaked. All of that work- since four Clark had said- for something that was only going to last until the New Year. He couldn't contemplate that kind of utter devotion, couldn't even begin to imagine what wholesome vivacity lay within the Kent ancestry.

The family beside him broke out into spontaneous laughter and glee, the unconditional bliss of the moment announcing itself deafeningly.

Loneliness stung him as if he'd been slapped in the face, resounding harshly within as the three held each other and spoke all at once. He had been fooling his heart with a glee that would not last.

I'll never be a part of it.

How could he have ever imagined that he could? Lex started to push himself away from the moment, not wanting this happiness because he knew it would break him into shards of bitter glass once it was gone. He'd get home to the empty mansion to find it identical to the cold he'd left: sterile and incisive, cutting him internally, just as effective as a surgical blade through his heart. At the manor there would be no Christmas cheer, no intimate laughter, no Clark, and all of the delight would be gone.

He couldn't take that. He'd had moments, moments here with them that he didn't want to loose. But if he stayed it would just make everything worse for when reality decided it was time to hit home.

Tears crowded his eyes at the love he saw and the thought of leaving it. I could stay, stay with them and-

No. He couldn't stay nearly long enough. The bill would eventually come and by then he wouldn't be able to pay the price. At least now he could leave and be hurt but not thoroughly devastated.

Clark moved out of his parents' embrace, leaving them to cuddle and he grabbed for Lex. Lex took two steps away, and Clark met his eyes, the merriment molding into concern as he no doubt saw Lex's tears. "What's wrong?"

Oh, God. Don't look at him. Just leave before you can't.

He started to walk backwards looking at the effulgent domicile. "Nothing. I uh- I had a great time, and-" his voice cracked on the last few words, and he felt tears trail down both cheeks.

Damnit! Luthor's don't cry!

He didn't want to be a Luthor.  He wanted, in the strangest way possible, to be a Kent.  Or at least to be able to fit with them.

"Lex?" Clark started to walk after him and he increased his regressive pace. "What's wrong? Look at me."

He didn't meet the farmboy's gaze. "I gotta go. I uh-." More tears fell and he sighed. "Tell your mom I said thanks for the cocoa, okay?" he whispered, not knowing what happened to his voice.  He reached out his hand with the mug and handed it to Clark, trying to ignore the boy's deliberate touch of Lex's fingers. His friend looked so hurt, not by Lex but for him.

Oh, God.  You shouldn't have looked.

"Lex?"

He turned around and jogged in the opposite direction of the family, his long coat flapping gracelessly behind him, ever thankful of Clark's full physique.  Without it, he would have seen the looks that both Martha and Jonathan were no doubt still giving him.  Looks of concern, yes, because they were good people who cared, but also looks of regret.  Regret that Clark had invited the troublesome Luthor boy over.

He blinked, trying to empty his eyes of the imprudent tears that would not cease. He slowed his jog to a very fast walk and dried his face, looking around.

He felt instantly worse and part of him wanted to continue crying.  He had been so eager to get away from the Kents that he had run in the wrong direction, towards the barn instead of his Porsche.
 
 
 
 
 

...To be continued [this is the second to last chapter :o) I'm almost finished with the finale, Chapter 6!!]