INDEPENDENT LOVE SONG

Chapter Five: Live for Loving You

At heart, Lex always thought himself to be a slow-waker, one to appreciate the sites and sounds and beauty of the first few seconds of a day.  He loved the smells, the aura.  Thanks to his job though, he was rarely given the pleasure of such mornings and had been hoping that this weekend he could catch up with his more hedonistic side. A warm and cozy lover in his arms, sun shining brightly down on them, like cats in the warm window spot.  Clark, however, was going to prove to be no less demanding than his work.

Pressure woke him.

"Mmmm!"  He refused to open his mouth.

A wet, warm tongue caressed his lips.

"Mmm-mm!" he voiced sleepily.

A hand trailed down his abs.

"Mmmph -lrk!" he cried out as the hand brushed up against him to discover his body already half-erect.  He laughed, enjoying the surprise of farmboy tongue in his mouth.

"Blech!" came a gruff voice.  "Morning breath!"  He felt his lover scooting off the bed.  He peeled open his eyes and watched as Clark took off, running out of the bedroom.

Lex took a deep breath admiring the form as long as he could before it left his view.  He shut his eyes again.

"I know I've got a case of morning scum," he started, his voice thick.  "But I've never chased anyone away with it before."

"First time for everything," Clark called out.

He paused and thought about being here with Clark.  If felt disconcerting, but in a way that was okay.  It was like when he went on a business trip and woke up in a hotel, not really remembering everything about how he got there at first, but knowing things were different.  Or like whenever Lex decided to rearrange his room.  He'd wake up just a little bit disoriented, but it was always good.  New.  Fresh.

Clark, he thought.  The best new, fresh wake-up ever.

That sounded like an ad.

The only other person that had ever waken up with him in the morning in any bed had been Victoria, the day after their engagement.  That was the first.  And in the three months that the engagement lasted they'd only woken up beside each other two other times, and all three had been while heavily intoxicated.

Horrible mornings, he remembered.  Pure misery.

He sat up and tried to shake off the morning's heavy fuzz.  He'd tell Clark about Vicky and him later.  Right now and the rest of the weekend…  It was all just for them.  A dream with clouds and gold before real life intruded and things got really complicated.  Worth it- like anything for Clark would be worth the toils and troubles- but complicated none the less.

He found it strange but he felt damn good.  A bit groggy but relieved and not so- tense.  He'd become so emotionally overwhelmed from the last few days that seeing Clark and then having that dream, well…

He sighed.  The wonderful, horrible dream.  It and Clark had taken a load off his chest.

"What time is it?" he asked, shifting in bed.  The sheets felt… different.

That's weird…

"Time doesn't exist."

He laughed and opened his eyes in time to see Clark leaning up against the bedroom door, a bowl of fruit in his hands.  He grinned at Lex, whose heart caught in his chest.

Tanned body, sweatpants, and bare feet.

"I have to admit.  I like the 'no shirt' option, Kent."

Clark looked down at the floor with a blush and a grin.  Lex sat up, pressing himself against the headboard.  He slid very easily.

What the-

He looked down to find himself wearing pajamas.

Black, satin pajamas.

He looked to Clark, mouth agape.

The farmboy and his bowl approached Lex, his grin blinding and wicked.  "I asked Mr. O'Brian to take me on an errand.  I had to call your house, find out what brand you liked and where you got the other pair."

Lex looked down to see the sleeves draping off his arms.  "Don't think I don't appreciate the gesture, Clark.  I do to no end, but, romantic as it is-"

"They're a little big?"  Lex nodded as Clark sat on the bed, still unable to believe that he'd use the word 'romantic' somberly in a sentence.  Him.  Him.  Lex 'All about the Sex' Luthor.  God, he'd fallen.  Mere months ago he  thought romance was a blind fancy.

Damn, gorgeous farmboy.

"I think 'big' is somewhat of an understatement there, Sexy."

The boy winced.  "I had already found them in the right sizes and even took them to the counter.  I was told to wait in the car.  I did.  At the last moment, Mr. O'Brian noticed that the sizes were too small for me.  I told him I wanted to buy something for myself so-"

Lex nodded then grinned.

"You're okay with me getting this, right?  I mean I know it's your money and all, and if I could have spent my own I would have, it's just-"

Lex moved forward on the bed and kissed Clark's sleep-smoothed lips.  "Cla-"

"-you spend an awful lot of money on pjs.  I went in there with the money I brought and realized-" Clark's voice became softer and he shrugged.  "I realized I would have been lucky to buy half a pair of socks.  Or maybe a little kid's clip-on tie."

Lex watched Clark's form carefully.  Slumped shoulders.  Self-depreciating smile.  Fingers playing with the patchwork design on the white bedspread.

Lex wasn't fooled though.  Yes, Clark looked upset.  But his eyes and voice had brought out layers so much deeper then even his posture revealed.

"Clark."

"Yeah?"  Softly spoken.  Still watching his own fingers playing with the cover.

"Look at me."

After a second Clark breathed in and looked up.  There was a sad kind of judgement there, self-worthlessness that Lex couldn't believe Clark, of all people, was capable of.  This was his savior.  Chloe's savior.  God knew how many other people Clark had rescued, would rescue.

Even as it was Clark Kent, Lex still wasn't sure where this ridiculously exaggerated self-condemnation was coming from, but then again, he'd never lived without money.  Never had to shop for the bargains and live with clothes that were too tight here or too short there simply because there was no money for new ones.  No money for ones in the right size.  Maybe they shopped at flee markets or used clothes stores.

From afar Clark's clothes looked good.  Well taken care of.  But the closer you got the more you could see the worn spots at the elbows of his jackets, in inconspicuous places of his jeans and the loose threads in his shirts.

Lex didn't have underwear or socks older than six months and some that he had discarded- merely because of age- were of the finest Italian silks, still in good condition.

How could he make Clark see that, though he lived a life of privilege, all that mattered was the boy that had given him a moment's worth of love and managed to stretch that moment for weeks?  How could he show young eyes that his smooth sleek world was full of just as many cracks as Clark's peeling, yellow-tinged linoleum kitchen floor?

He couldn't do it with gifts, he knew that.  He couldn't because the gifts were a status symbol.  He couldn't fix that weathered floor, couldn't lavish his lover with the clothes plastered on every teen magazine, and he couldn't give him that fucking truck, not because he was worried how it would look.  Instead the fact that Lex had the money in the first place was the problem.  Clark could not give him back what he accepted.

If he'd ever accepted any of it.

So, how to ease the dilemma?

Lex trusted that this time, his words would be enough.  He was learning to rely more and more on his honesty and his gut instincts.

He put both of his hands on Clark's worried face and decided to be blunt.  "I could give a shit where you purchase you're clothes, Clark.  I don't care how much paper your parents have to their names."

Clark let out a deep, shaky breath.  He had been holding more agony inside than Lex thought.  "Lex, I-"

"Do you love me?" he asked.  It was a tense subject for him.  Not something he wanted to bring up at the moment, but something that would ease Clark's worry.

Clark's eyes darkened over with an intensity of love and possessiveness that Lex had never seen.  "With all my heart."

Deeply touched, Lex continued.  "That's more than my own father has ever given me, and he's got the kind of money kings dream of.  I like it a lot, Clark, but money nothing compared to you because I-"

Love you.

His throat closed up.  His mouth shut.  His teeth bit into his tongue.

I was about to say it.  I came so close without-  without even realizing it.

Clark looked at him for a second more, then burst into a grin.  He hugged him, squeezing him tight.

"Clark-" he squeaked, unable to believe the undignified sound.

"I love you, too, Lex," Clark whispered.  Lex's heart jumped.

Clark pulled back and placed a hand to Lex's satin covered chest.  "And I felt that."

Lex blushed, unable to understand just why.  He closed his eyes and moved forward just as Clark popped and orange slice into his mouth.

"Way to ruin the mood, Kent," he said around a mouthful of fruit.

"Before you kiss me again, we've got to do something about your breath."

Lex opened his eyes and frowned, a little burned.  "Thanks, Clark," he muttered.  "I'll just go brush my teeth."

Clark shook his head and made a face.  "I hate the taste of toothpaste.  It'll be especially bad on you."

Oh, how sweet.  "Why's that?"

Clark moved in close, dipping and licking Lex's throat.  "I like the way you taste.  Usually."

Lex groaned at the husky drop in Clark's voice.  Strong hands found the skin of his stomach and the thumbs traced the defined borders of his muscled abdomen.  Lex raised his hands to Clark's face and an instant later found himself pinned to the bed, his arms raised above his head, a little winded from Clark's shoving him.  The boy was already moving to straddle him.

"Um…"

He panted as he watched Clark move passed his line of vision and heading for his neck or ear, he couldn't tell.  There was a fire there, a passion, that reminded him of last night.

He shut his eyes and bucked up against Clark, the look hardening his previously flailing erection.  Oh, God.  So dark and primal.

Clark began alternately licking his ear and breathing hot air into it.  It sent shivers through him, a tingling sensation down his sides and he couldn't seem to get a deep enough breath in.

"God, Clark, I-"

"Yes?"

He swallowed at the heavy whisper.  "You're amazing."

There was a moment of silence and Clark thrust against Lex's hardened cock.

He shuddered.  Remembering Clark pounding deeply inside of him on the floor of his office too long ago, remembering the love and the craving he'd seen in those incredible green eyes…

And last night.  Jesus.  He'd been so damn needy last night and Clark, with a primitive urgency, had responded to that need.  Too bad they'd been interrupted.

"Lex, do you…"

"Yes?"

Clark hesitated.  "Do you want me in you?"

For a moment he thought Clark was being coy, wanton…  Seductive.  Then he focused on his lover.  His lover with those darkened eyes and jet black hair. An expression of painful want, deep and dark carving.

And question.  He hadn't been sure if Lex would take him again.

"Of course," he whispered reassuringly, thinking it strange that Clark would even feel he had to ask.  "I want you, Clark.  Badly.  I mean-"  He shook his head, unable to communicate his desires.  Kent did that to him.

"What?  What do you mean?"

He looked Clark straight in the eye.  "Please finish what you couldn't yesterday."

Clark smiled.  "What would that be, L-"

"Take me.  Now."

Clark's eyes fluttered and he kissed Lex, lips hard, tongue slow, methodically tracing Lex's teeth.  He sped up, then slowed down, sped up, then slowed down until the older boy could stand no more.

Lex whimpered and thrust his now fully engorged cock up against his lover's.  The satin permeated with his heat and rubbed up against the cotton of Clark's sweatpants creating a mellow kind of friction.  He needed more.  He thrust harder.

"Jesus!"  A harsh gasp from Clark and both of Lex's hands were captured by one of Clark's, the boy's free hand and fingers moving to unbutton Lex's shirt.

"Just-" Lex panted.  "-rip it- off."

"No," Clark whispered coolly.

"Rip it off!"

"Not this time."

"Da-" Clark thrust against him.  It broke Lex's speech but not his concentration.  "Damn it, Kent.  I said-"

"Lex?"

"What?"

Clark's pinched an exposed nipple and Lex hissed, thrusting up against the big body on top of his.  "Shut up."

Clark finished unbuttoning the shirt, his hand traveling to Lex's lower extremities, pressing against the swollen organ through the satin.  Lex cried out and pushed up against Clark's hand holding him captive, amazed at the fact that he didn't budge an inch.  Was Clark that strong?  That he could hold Lex perfectly still with one hand?

He opened his eyes and met Clark's.  For an instant he thought there was something there, something like… guilt or awareness beyond the sensual haze.  Then he shifted and Clark's eyes looked dark again.

He pushed up again and this time sat up.  In one graceful pounce he flipped Clark onto his back and straddled the boy's abs, his open satin shirt waving behind him.

Though there was some level of Clark-resistance, Lex got the feeling that the boy had allowed him this dominance and he wasn't going to bumble it up for future such allowances by not showing his appreciation.  He pressed one hand against Clark's thigh for balance, then trailed the other over the hot skin of the boy's bare stomach.

"Where's your shirt, Clark?"

The boy swallowed.  "The brown-"

"Yes."

"Washer.  O'Brian showed me wh-"

"Hmm."

Lex pushed the index finger of his right hand up the hollow of Clark's throat, following the jaw-line then up to Clark's lips.  They were such beautiful god-damn lips, perfect and shiny.  So smooth.

Clark took Lex's index finger into his mouth and sucked, eyes shutting, blocking out everything but the digit in his wet, warm cavern.

Lex saw the blush creeping onto his lover's face and smiled.  Then Clark sucked harder and Lex failed in his attempt to bite back a moan.  Everything about Clark felt so perfect.

"Clark," he whispered.

The boy's eyes opened and Lex felt the tongue flicker against the tip of his finger.

There were so many things he had yet to do to Clark, so many things he had yet to show the boy and now, now they had a whole weekend with few interruptions into their sexual life.

"Will you," he started and swallowed, amazed to find himself warm and tingly and nervous.  Of all the things he thought he'd never, ever be…

Clark released Lex's finger.  "Yes, Lex?"

"Will you show me how much you love me?"  His eyes burned from the depth to his words.  He couldn't believe he'd gotten them out.  He was taking such a chance here…

And then, in Clark's contented silence, it struck him.  He wasn't the one taking any such chance; Clark was.  Here he was asking Clark to invest his young and innocent soul, his perfect, all-to-human heart to a person that hadn't even expressed how much the relationship meant to him.  Clark could only assume, no matter how correct that assumption was, that Lex loved him.

Lex shook his head.  He couldn't do that to Clark.  He couldn't ask it of him.  "Nevermind, Clark, it was stupid.  I-"

Clark brought his right hand up to Lex's mouth.  "Shh.  I do love you.  And I will show you."

Lex watched as Clark slowly pushed himself up.  Lex shifted back until Clark was sitting and his arms wrapped around Lex's waist.  Soft lips pressed to his and he felt Clark moving them.  They were switching positions.

"Clark, I-"

His mouth was covered again by the large hands and Clark, now leaning over him, simply shook his head.  Lex felt very much what he suspected a foolishly-in-love virgin bride to feel on her honeymoon with a man she knew was far more experienced than her.

What the hell? he wonder humorously, but it made sense.  He was a virgin to love.  At least this kind of love.  But now Clark was here and the world was no longer gray.  It was bright blue and forest green, a deep eggplant purple and the lightest of cremes.  Clark's presence in his life brought out the beauty of it all.  The rain was no longer there to drown him, and the birds' chirping to annoy him.  The downpour was there to freshen the streets of any oratorical gunk so that everything was clean and real; the birds were there to lighten the mood, to remind people that there was a certain mystical being in the real world, a certain fantastic beauty.

"I love you, Lex," Clark's deep voice broke through his epiphany, sending shocks to his groin.  "I need to feel you."

"Yes," he whispered, keeping his eyes shut.  "Please."

Clark's big, callused hands roamed over his chest and he opened his eyes in time to see Clark lap at one of his nipples.  His cock ached as he watched the beautiful sight.  The boy's eyes were shut, leaving the tongue as the lead sensory organ, and he licked softly, slowly.  Lex felt Clark's lips envelope his nipple and suck gently, exploring the tastes.  He nipped and Lex panted.

"Lex.  You're so, so beautiful."

"You took the words," he breathed.  "-right out of my mouth."

He felt hands at his waist and watched as Clark kissed his way up.  He made his way to Lex's ear.  "I want to go down on you."

Lex shut his eyes tight, wondering if the constriction in his chest was normal, or if his asthma was returning.

"Can I?  Please?"

He nodded, unable to speak.

The hands at his waist pulled at the satin pants, taking them off completely and exposing his naked and willing body.

"Take off your sweatpants," Lex pleaded but Clark shook his head.  Instead he pushed Lex up to very top of the bed.  Lex rested his head on the headboard and met Clark's sooty, soulful eyes.  The farmboy bent down and kissed him while stroking his cock, repeatedly.  He gasped when Clark's hand stopped the rhythm and tightened.  He thrust up.  "Please," he begged.

"'Please' what," Clark asked him, lips pressed to Lex's.

"Do you want me to beg?"  He would.  For Clark, he'd do anything.

"No."  Clark nipped at Lex's bottom lip.  "I just want you to tell me what you want."

Lex breathed heavily for a moment, wondering where the words were.  He'd never been shy about expressing his desires before.  This was new, though.  There was emotion involved here, deeper than even the previous times he'd been with Clark.  Making love to the boy now, or being made love to, allowing Clark inside him…  It was all an act of love and commitment.  Something sacred, to be cherished and honored.  An act of worship from both sides.

"What do you want, Lex?"

"Your mouth," he whispered.  "All over me."

"Where specifically?"

He met Clark's eyes, then looked away again.  "Down… down there."

Clark nuzzled his throat, then moved to his stomach.  "Here?"

He shook his head.

Clark kissed his abs.  "Here?"

Lex shook his head again, not believing the amount of torment Clark was putting him through.

Clark slipped his tongue inside Lex's belly button.  "Here."

Lex gasped and pushed against Clark with his hands, leading him down.

"Guide me, Lex."

He shook his head.  That was too intimate.  "I can't, I-"

"Please.  For me?  Guide me?"

For you, he thought.  He'd do anything in the world for Clark.

Lex took hold of Clark's head and pushed him down a little further until he felt Clark's chin bump up against his erection.  Had he been expecting it, it would have had no effect, but the abrupt pressure on his unattended to erection was tormenting him.

Clark stroked his erection again.  The skin to skin contact was amazing.  "Here?"

Lex shivered but managed to nod.

"Say it."

"Y-Yes."

"What do you want me to do?"

"Love me." Lex hadn't been sure he'd even said that aloud, but Clark's answer was proof enough.

"I do."

And then he felt Clark's mouth on him, sudden and insistent, hot and powerful.  His eyes shot open and he saw Clark between his legs, erection partially covered by his lips, cheeks hollowed, eyes open looking at Lex.  Clark Kent was going down on him, taking him inside such a very pretty mouth, and he was meeting Lex's eyes while doing it.

The eye contact broke something inside of Lex, something that had once seemed too valuable to live without but now just seemed petty and stupid.  Something only a brittle old man with no one to love would hold on to.

He thrust into Clark once and pulled on him.  When the boy didn't budge but only sucked harder, he thrust again, involentarily, then resorted to the begging.  "Clark.  Needyou.  Insidemenow,now,now.  You'resobeautifuland-  Ineedyou.  Hotandhard,please.  Please,please,please-"

His last few appeals were unnecessary because Clark had responded from the first.  Clark released him from the warm cavern and Lex spread his legs.

Clark stroked himself for a moment and Lex's cock jumped at the sight.  Clark was too busy to take notice and Lex knew that was one fantasy he'd have to get Clark to partake in.

Lex took this instant of preoccupation to flip awkwardly onto his stomach and move up against Clark.

"Are you sure you-"

"I feel safer," he whispered without hesitation.  Telling Clark the utter truth and nothing but the truth seemed so very important.  He owned everything except this boy and the only thing he could give Clark was himself.  He wanted Clark to own him.  Every part of him.

"Safer?"

He nodded, not finding it difficult at all to express himself emotionally.  "Safer, more protected.  I touch more of your body this way and it's like nothing in the world could touch me."

"Nothing in the world ever will."

"Except you."

There was Clark's hand on his back and he was bending down, bracing himself not on his hands, but on his elbows.  He wanted this deep.  He bit the pillow when Clark's fingers invaded him, not in pain, but in longing.  He needed Clark and he needed him bad.

"Clark, please."

"Okay, love, okay," Clark whispered soothingly.

He flushed at the name and then felt the head of Clark's cock begin to stretch him.  Clark was beyond hard and it was such a beautiful feeling.  He remembered on the desk, the rushed sexuality, the horrible sense of urgency.  On the desk, on the floor, on the couch, on another couch, in the stairwell.  Now it was in a bed, and Clark was mounting him, about to ride him.  Everything felt so good.  This time there was no stopping it.  No interruptions.  This time it was not in a public place, or an office.  It was in a bedroom, Lex's bedroom, in Lex's private condo, safe and sound.

Clark pushed into him and he groaned.  He thrust back, hard.  He was already close, very close and wanted Clark to come close to him.  He pulled away from Clark then pushed back again, harder than before.

"Take me, Clark."

Clark's hands found his and squeeze.  He felt Clark's muscled chest against his back.  "Lex, I'm close.  I want you-"

"I'm close, too.  I need you to make love to me, to…"

"To?  You can say it, Lex."

"I need you to fuck me, fast.  I'm so close."  Clark pulled back and entered quick and deep.  Lex almost collapsed from the pleasure of Clark's cock pressed to his gland.

Clark pulled back just enough to be grazing Lex's prostate.  He rocked inside of Lex, pressing forward then taking the pressure away, pressing forward and then away. It was a sweet-tormenting itch Lex had no way to scratch.

"Clark!"

"Say it again."

"What? Jesus, Clark, do me!"

Clark let one hand tickle the tip of Lex's cock as his own erection bucked in and out, faster but with no more release.

"Say it again, Lex."

"Fuckme, okay?  Fuckmefuckmefuckme, please!"  Clark pulled out and then slammed into Lex, ramming him, fucking him over and over, not stopping.  It felt to Lex as if Clark's free will had finally dissolved and the boy was now beyond desperate.  Lex screamed Clark's name hoarsely and came hard, shooting all over the bedspread.  Clark was still going and Lex refused to drop.  He backed up and heard Clark's strangled groan.

"Jesus, Lex, Jesus, close, close, so close."

One last plunge into Lex's ass and Clark was clenching his hands on Lex's ass, Lex's sides, Lex's thighs, Lex's back and shoulders, the bed.  He couldn't seem to hold still.  He was coming hard right into Lex and Lex rested his head against his forearm.

The tears fell with no words, no sobs, no sound at all, but they were deafening to Lex.  This was the start of a new life.  He couldn't be around Clark and not be a new man, a better man.  So therefore he would be.  Before it was just an influence, a friendship.  But there was more to it now.  Clark owned him, Clark was his master, his guide and his God.

Lex would do anything to appease him.
 
 
 
 
 
 

To be continued...