I Want to Be Loved By You

Lex struggled to open his eyes, finding himself bound, wrists and ankles, on the cold, hard wooden floor.

Which room is this, he wondered groggily.  Where am I?

Dark, atmospheric.  That was pretty much every room in the damn castle.  There was a paint cart over in the far corner and…  And weapons on the…  Ah…  The swords…

He was in his father's War Room.

He blinked, trying to ignore the pain in his face, and could hear fire crackling in the background.  No one, before his father's visit, had been in here for any purpose other than to clean.  Not in a very long time.  He hated the room, as his mother did.  Something that gave him bad chills, like the room was too much his nature, his aura, his…  His future.

He shivered, realizing that this room sanctified the temptations, glorified Lex's inevitable mutation into his father.

Lionel had a thing for weapons and disaster, and deemed this worthy to pass onto son along with his money and business sense.  He had dropped by the room on his visit with Lex and, highly displease with the upkeep, had scheduled for it for a refinish.  The cart in the corner stuck out against the antiques like black fuzz on a white suit.

Lex thought he saw one of the tarps move slightly and shook his head to clear the blurred edges.

This is rich.  Tell me I have another fucking concussion.  Just tell me I do.

He breathed in, finding his purple work shirt taut against his sore chest, almost restricting his breath.  He could taste blood on his tongue, and the left side of his face was completely numb with the exception of his jaw, which seemed to be both numb and throbbing.

He tried to move but a sharp pang in his back from where he fell shot lightning up his spine.  Lex managed to both hiss and groan and the same time.

"Are we awake now, 'Master Luthor'?"  Lex looked up, wincing at the sudden movement to his sore neck.

There was no one in front of him.  Hadn't the voice come from there?

He heard chuckling and, ignoring his physical ailments, looked around, frantic, for the source of the voice.  There was no one.  His sight was clear…

There was no one there.

what the hell? am I hearing things?

"Mister Luthor-"

apparently not.

"I'm glad you sent Amy away."

"Wha?" he mumbled.  Jesus, was his jaw stiff.

Footsteps.  "You always spoke to her."  Lex looked tirelessly around the room, over and over, not even trying to match the place with the direction of the voice…  He still saw no one.

what the fuck?!

"But you continuously ignored me."

Was he truly hearing things?  Had he finally had one too many concussions?

"Continuously."

No matter how many fights he'd gotten into, no matter how many times he'd hit that thick skull of his with some blunt object, he'd never really had psychotic aftereffects.

"Ignored."

And his head didn't even hurt that much.  The pain had been far worse.

"Me."

"Who are you?" he asked.

"What do you mean 'who are you?"  The voice sounded pained, sorrowful, as if Lex's words had cut deep.  "How could you even ask that?"

He closed his eyes thinking.  He remembered Amy getting in the car, her mother telling him that Jeff was packing their things, them leaving, him taking out his phone, ready to leave a message for Victoria that all was safe when the damn thing was jerked out of his hands and the next thing he knew-

Jerked out of his hands.

Most of his staff off ever since the violence started.

Jerked out of his hands.

Jeff staying to pack.

Mother and Amy, leaving.

Jeff.

Staying to pack.

oh, shit.

Lex felt hands on his face, on his chest, but would be damned if he could see what was going on.

guess it wasn't Amy after all.

"Jeff?"

"That's right"  His blue workshirt was ripped open, buttons flew and landed tinkling to the floor, but one…  One flew straight up and to the left then…  Then seemed to stop in mid-air and change it's mind.  It headed back to his stomach.

as if it were ricocheting off of nothing.

Hands began to caress the black cotton tee beneath and the button slid off and to the floor.  The hands-

those have to be hands.

-were becoming rougher, massaging his chest now.

"Uh, Jeff-"

Now they were rubbing his nipples.

is he…

"Jeff, listen, I-"

The hands stopped and with them so did his mouth.  If he couldn't see, his only allies were sounds.

The pressure on his chest disappeared and for a moment there was silence.  Pure silence.  He looked around and tried to move but ended up fishtailing, pain coming back as his shock to the situation was numbing.

There was a loud, abrupt ripping sound and Lex tried to look behind him.

"Jeff?  What are you doing?  Jeff?!"

A ball of paper tissues and a torn off piece of duct-tape moved into view, seemingly flying in mid-air, and started to move towards his face.

"As much as I love the sound of your voice, Mr. Luthor, especially saying my name-"

Lex shivered.  There was something in that tone.  Something really fucking dangerous.

"-I don't think that you being able to speak would be conducive to my motives."

Invisible hands tried to shove the tissues into his mouth but he jammed it shut and moved away.

"Aw, come on," said Jeff's patronizing tone.  "Don't try and struggle."  Then in an undertone: "That just makes me like this all the more."

Lex's eyes went wide.

jesus, what?!

The tissues were placed aside and Jeff pinched Lex's nostrils shut.

fuck, he thought, dark and satirical.  this isn't my night…

After almost a full two minutes of holding his breath, Lex's opened his lips, keeping the breach as small and as imperceptible as possible, but Jeff still caught the move.  He pried open Lex's lips, pulling on the tender region hard enough to make Lex cry out through clenched teeth.

He kept pulling, and Lex was sure he felt something rip.  The tang of blood his sense of taste and smell.

shit.

Finally, the pain was too much to bear and Lex, defeated, opened his mouth.  The tissues were jammed in.  He gave a valiant struggle to get away from the piece of tape as it flew towards him, but in the end it was no use.

"Much better.  You never spoke to me, Master Luthor-"

what?  if I never spoke to him then how was I supposed to know his voice?

"-so why start now?"

Lex tried to mumble that it was a perfectly good time to start but Jeff interrupted him, unable to understand his hostage anyway with gag and tape in place.

"Nope.  Never spoke to me.  Never even bothered to meet my eyes."

Lex shook his head adamantly.

I rarely ever saw you, he thought.  You were always holed up in your room, in your house.  Never came out the few times I walked in to speak to your mother.  I'm not even sure what color your hair is or really even what you look li-

Fingers started to gently caress his face, his ears, his head and he shut his eyes, trying in vain to move away from the touches.  He began mumbling through the gag, hectic to get his assailant to stop.

Jeff laughed and started to rip the front of Lex's tee, and Lex's mind completely shut down.  He was unable to comprehend, to follow just what the hell was going on, but he picked up his head to watch, stunned, as the rest of the shirt was ripped open.

His eyes shot wide open as he felt skin against his now bare chest. Hot and hard, long, rigid skin.  He knew the sensation of the skin and weight well enough to know that not only was Jeff was straddling him, but Jeff was…

"That's right," Jeff responded with glee to Lex's horrified reaction.  "Naked.  I tried dousing clothes in this stuff but there was always a wrinkle, or a button crevice.  It was easier to just go around- naked."  He said the word in a suggestive tone, as if he were trying to seduce the Lex, rubbing himself against the older boy's chest, and moaning loudly.  Lex's stomach churned and he felt the body above him shift, the erection pressing like hot metal into his stomach; felt lips pressing to his face.  He tried to struggle but with his hands tied behind his back and his ankles bound it was useless.  Then teen above him was strong, very strong, and he was utterly helpless.

Jeff apparently had no clue to Lex's disgust and aversion.  "No one knew it," he whispered sweetly.  "- but I had my own little obsession with you."

No kidding, Lex thought without humor.

"I wasn't stupid, like Amy, with her little psychotic armoire of admiration.  She just…  She just lusted after you.  I love you."  The voice got sad and soft, and it scared Lex more than the fact that his arms and legs were bound; more than the tape over his mouth; more than the naked body on top of him, erection pressing soundly against him.  "And it's real love, Lex."

He felt a tongue outlining his chest and shuttered, realizing it was outlining a heart.

i'm not getting out of this.

"I dreamed of you all of the time.  This moment, this… being with you.  Touching you."  Fingers stroked his nipples and trailed down his sternum.  "You have no idea how many times I snuck into your bedroom while you were with some woman, and watched you."

oh.  my, god.

"And when you slept, Lex…  Oh, you looked so lonely, baby," he whispered.  "So needy.  Sometimes… sometimes I touched you."

jesus.

"And you felt me, I know you did.  You smiled at me."

this can't be really happening.

The button on his slacks came undone and his breath hitched.

oh, shit.  fuck off, Jeff!

"Now, now we can be together."

no god damn way.

Lex started to squirm and yell behind the gag.

"I'm seventeen, Lex, and I- I know you like boys."

That stunned him quiet.

like boys?  no, no, no.  sorry.  do not like boys, pal.

Jeff stopped Lex's fiercely shaking head with two strong hands.  "Shhh…  It's okay.  I've seen it."

This was making even less sense than anything they had ventured into yet.  Even the fact that Jeff was invisible.  This was Smallville and even Lex's best friend had secret abilities, he was sure of it, so that made the invisibility pretty damn easy to handle, but this…

"I've seen your interest."

my interest?

Lex tried to shake his head again, but the hands grasped on tighter, once again stilling it's movements.

"It makes me jealous the way you look at him, Lex.  Very jealous."

Lex got still and looked up frantically at nothing.

Silence.

He felt as if Jeff were staring right through his eyes, right through his soul.

he can't know.

"You look at him in a different way than anyone, even those sluts, like Victoria, that you take to bed."

no, it is not that obvious.

"Those sluts that you fuck and fuck hard.  All different positions."  Lips trailed his forehead, nose and cheek, before moving down to the tape over his mouth.  "They've never made me jealous, because I see you alone at night.  Every night.  You're sad and you're lonely.  Even Vicky's got her own bedroom for when you're not fucking her.  In a completely different wing."

The voice turned cold.  "But when you look at him…"  Jeff trailed off and Lex swallowed, now more than a little frightened.  "The way he looks back at you makes me angry."  The last word came out a growl of such hatred, such foul belligerence that Lex shivered, growing cold.

"You don't want Vicky, do you?"  Jeff's voice was angry and frustrated and…  He sounded on the verge of tears.  "Her and her stupid British accent and her bank account and her fourteen thousand dollar body job.  Vick has a slick little cunt, and that's not what you want, is it?  You want cock, right?  Farmboy cock."

oh, Christ!  mother fucker!

Lex wanted nothing but to squirm and buck against the body above him, but he feared there might still be a chance to deny it all and those actions would surely give his devotion to Clark away.

"Kent, right?"  Jeff chuckled, sending shivers down Lex's spine.  Now he was beginning to panic.  Jeff had shown he was not above violence to get what he wanted, and if he got to Clark somehow, if Jeff had hurt his best friend, Lex would kill the stupid fucking bastard.

"Did you ever think the two of you were alone?  Well, you weren't.  I saw it all.  The grins, the heated looks, the jokes and words that meant more."

Lex's heart hurt and his fear and anger grew to an entirely different level.

how long has this been going on?

"Giving him the lead box from your mom was my favorite, though.  Very sweet of you, Lex."

His lungs had been emptying since the gag and tape were set in place, but Jeff's last words caused a sharp pain low and deep in his chest.  Lex had always been a mouth-breather, never been able to handle breathing through his much at any real length of time, and Jeff was pissing him off and scaring the shit out of him.

He needed to calm down.

"Clark Kent.  I went to school with him, you know."

'went'?!  what the FUCK does he mean by 'went'?!

"He is kind of sexy, I guess.  Farmboy sweat.  He's probably real easy, too, with the way he looks at you.  Take him into the barn and fuck him raw in the hay, is THAT YOUR PLAN?!"  he screamed.  "Let him fuck my Alexander, twisted and upside down.  You want him don't you?!  You want to fuck him dirty!"

Lex shook his head fiercely.

"DON'T LIE TO ME!" Jeff screamed and slapped him across the face.  "I hate it when people lie!"

Lex wasn't though.  Clark was... too hard to simply want, to simply 'fuck'.  There was something about him that made Lex ache inside with- with good.

He loved the boy and would do whatever it took to kill that emptiness, the dark void, the anger and hate and pain within himself so that Clark could love him too.  He’d give anything in his power for Clark to feel that need and reciprocate it.  Even if Clark felt just an inch of the desire, the love and affection, it would fill the hollow that gave Lex problems while sleeping and walking and living…

With Clark gone…  Even if he had to fly away from this world to do it, he'd find a way back to his friend.  He could never live in a world that could dispose of such a beautiful creature, the essence of his own possible humanity.

He'd have to kill Jeff first, though.  Rip the little shit's head off.

Lex’s silence and inactivity pissed Jeff off.  "IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT?!" he screamed in rage and jerked on the ripped sides of Lex’s cotton shirt.

Lex was quietly hating himself for sending almost every single person in his staff away.  The ?????? family had stayed as had several of the staff members that lived on the grounds but away from the manor.

Had he kept any that lived inside the castle as many had insisted he do and volunteered themselves, he doubted things would have gone as far as they had.  One of them would have definitely heard Jeff and then called 911.

"DO YOU WANT HIM INSIDE OF YOU?!  IS THAT IT?!  DO YOU WANT HIM TO SCREAM YOUR NAME WHILE YOU FUCK HIM RAW?!"  The boy slapped him again.  A moment later his felt water on his chest.

"Oh, God. I'msosorry-I'msosorry-I'msosorry-I'msosorry," Jeff's chanting continued as he pulled Lex's head to his bare chest, kissing and rubbing it.  Lex felt more moisture on his head and realized that Jeff was crying.

holy fuck.  what the hell is wrong with this kid?

"I would never hurt you, would never want to do that, I just-  Don't ever lie to me again.  I love you too much and people who love each other don't lie to one another."

love each oth-  how am I going to get out of this one?

"I won't hurt you again, just don't lie."  His voice lowered and held a shaking but sultry tone to it.  "I can make everything better, Lex."  His eyes shot to where his slack-covered cock was suddenly being massaged by Jeff's invisible hand.  "I can make everything so much better, baby."  Lex stared blankly ahead, dazed and unbelieving.

The zipper of his slacks was slowly being opened.  "I never thought that I would have this chance with you but now I understand that you love me, too.  You were just staying away because of my age."

not even close, Jeff.

Lex felt the warm pressure of fingers on the outside of his cock, wrapping themselves around him, and he started to frenetically writhe and twist.  He bucked up and was shoved back to the floor.  He tried to sit up, forcing the body on his back, and was amazed at the strength he was finding inside.

He made it into the sitting position only to be slammed back to the floor,   hitting his right arm on the floor.  He screamed through the gag, the pain sending instant tears down his cheeks.  He was sure the damn thing was broken and the physical agony was numbing him, paralyzing his body.

The familiar sensation of a warm, wet mouth covering his penis hit his senses.  He tried to move away, squirm even just a little but his arm was pulsing and hurt enough without moving.

The sounds Jeff was making were disturbing and sickening, and he felt bile rising in the back of his throat.

going to drown in my own vomit.

Gritting his teeth against the pain, Lex pulled his legs back quickly and kicked up, hoping to hit something vital on Jeff.  He did hit something, and it caused the teen to bite down.

Again, he screamed through the gag and, again, he was slapped.  This time was it was a rough backhand and it stung severely, leaving a hot flashing across his vision.

"You wanna play rough?"  Lex looked towards Jeff's voice warily.  There was a grin in it, he could tell.  "Okay, baby.  Let's play rough."

His stomach turned cold, bile once again rising as Jeff moved away from his body and hands gripped his waist, flipping him over.  They pulled off both of his shoes and then yanked his slacks and underwear down to his ankles.  Jeff gripped and kneaded Lex's ass and he tried to move, tried to get away, but there was the pain from his arm, so bad it felt as if it were being ripped off, as if the nerves were exposed and someone were pulling on them, scraping a dull steak knife against them.  It left him breathless.  He couldn't even scream, couldn't protest.

He felt his cheeks spread, the tip of Jeff's dick touch his ass, and he hit his head hard on the floor, preferring to be unconscious for the act.  He didn't do it hard enough, felt Jeff push between his cheeks and thought for a moment the loud knocking was his imagination.

"Lex?!  It's me!  Open up!" yelled Clark, his voice coming from the front door, and both relief and horror flooded through him.  Relief that his young savior was there for him yet a third time, and no doubt just as extraordinarily strong and capable as the last two.  Horror at the knowledge that even Clark could not fight an enemy of which he could not see.

"LEX?!  It's me!  Clark!"

no!

Lex grimaced as the boy shouted his own name throughout the house, alerting Jeff to the identity of their company.  He felt Jeff get off of him and, ignoring the blinding pain, he fought to move, to undo the tape holding his wrists and ankles, to kick out at unseen legs.  To do anything to stop Jeff from getting to Clark.  He managed to flip himself over and he landed on his bad shoulder.  The pain from his fall plus the head injury was finally getting to him, causing a distortion of the world around him.

He saw one of his father's antique swords come off the wall.  "I’ll protect what's mine, Lex.  Don't worry.  He won't be a problem for us.  Not for long."

Lex screamed at Jeff, the loudest muffled scream he could.  It was full of frustration, hate, anger and fear, fear for what Jeff might do to Clark.  His head fell back to the floor from the effort of the cry, everything going dark but still very much visible.

"LEX?!" came the shout from somewhere in the house.  He shut his eyes tight.

no, no, no, no, no, no.  he didn't hear me.  he couldn't have heard me.  he's just calling out.  that's all.

A few seconds later though, there was Clark, clearly calling from the end of the hallway leading to the war room.  "LEX?"

fuck.

The sword disappeared from his view and he heard being carefully placed on the floor near him.  He knew that Jeff figured a floating sword might tip off Clark to the presence of danger.  Lex had two options here: he could either risk the chance that Clark could take out Jeff and save him or do his best to keep his only friend from entering a certain deathtrap.

Lex made his split-second decision easy, no hesitation, no internal competition between the two choices.  He stayed quiet and prayed to a God he hadn't spoken to in years that Clark would move on and then leave the castle.

He should have known better.

He heard Jeff padding quietly over.  "Call out to him!" he whispered vehemently.  Lex shut his eyes and shook his head.  Did the boy not see the tape covering his mouth anyway?

After a few seconds Jeff kicked him roughly in the side.  He gritted his teeth against the jolt, refusing to make a single sound, and so very thankful that the kick had been centered on his hipbone.  The pain was horrible, but the kick was less likely to have done any serious damage than if it had landed on his ribs or mid-stomach.

Jeff's hand came down to press on his broken arm.  Tears welled up into Lex's eyes and his lungs were now completely emptied, but he refused to gasp out, refused to screech or even breathe.

He was not going to be the cause of his angel's death.

The hand released it's grip and he took a laboriously slow and steady breath through his nose.  A moment later he heard a thunk and opened his eyes to find that one of his shoes had been picked up and thrown to the door.

bastard.

After a mere millisecond he saw the door start to rattle.  "Lex?"

He kept quiet.

There was a moment of deep silence then, “God, Lex!”

how does he even know I'm in here?

The door burst open and Clark's eyes immediately found him, angry and assessing the situation.  "What did he do to you?"

He started forward and Lex shook his head frantically, shouting into the tissue and tape.  Clark stopped, understanding.  "Jeff?"

how the hell does he know?  what did I miss here?

Lex could hear the sword being picked up from the ground behind him and the tip entered his view.

"What is it, Kent?  Come to protect your friend?  To protect your lover?"  The tip of the sword was suddenly at Lex's throat and he winced as it pressed down lightly.

Clark reached out his hand "NO!"  Lex felt something trickling down his throat.  "PLEASE!  Don't kill him."

There was a moment of silence, then Jeff's voice was back, sad and mournful as ever.  "I could never kill you, Lex."  The sword didn't move.  "Never."

"Then drop the sword," Clark pleaded.

"I love him," Jeff whispered.

If Clark was surprised it didn't show.  "Then stop hurting him!"  He softened his tone.  "Please, Jeff.  Just let him go."

"You can't have him!"  Jeff shouted.  Clark was silent.  The sword pressed harder, causing Lex to whimper involuntarily.

"Fine!"  Clark said, taking a minute step forward.  "Fine.  I don't want him."

"He doesn't love you anymore!  This is true love!"

Clark took another very small step forward.  He was just over a yard from Lex's feet.  "I'm sure it is."

"We're in love!"

Clark nodded and slipped forward just a few inches.  "I can see that."

"This is something that you could never understand."

"I completely agree with you there, Jeff."  Another step forward.  This time Jeff caught on and pressed the sword to Lex's throat hard enough to break a line skin across his skin.  He inhaled and looked to Clark, completely trusting but still begging the boy to be careful.

He saw fear in Clark's eyes, honest fear, and for the first time that night, he was truly and wholly afraid for his own life.  Not just of physical pain, but afraid of death.

If Clark's scared…

"If you're so in love with him, Jeff-" Clark started taking a step back and holding up his hands, indicating harmless intent.  "Then look at him.  Actually look at what you're doing to him."  He paused letting the weight of his words actually hit Jeff, then narrowed his eyes, continuing.  "I could never do that to him.  I would never be able to hurt him like that.  Lex deserves better than you."

The sword moved away from Lex's throat and came up in an arc.  "YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!"

Lex instinctively moved his legs back into what he hoped was Jeff's path, hoping to trip the kid, sending him to heap on the floor and giving Clark more time.  He wanted to hope the farmboy would run, but he was afraid he knew better than that.

Jeff had indeed lost his temper and chose to charge Clark, thereby tripping on Lex’s legs and falling with a loud thump to the ground.  Unfortunately, the jolt shoved Lex's broken arm into the hard wood and the pain erupted like fire on gasoline, searing throughout his entire body.

There was a thick, heavy silence then world went dark.
 

+_+_+_+_+
 

When Lex opened his eyes, he glanced around.  In the firelight he could just make out a blotchy form, covered in paint from the cart, laying on the ground.  Clark was leaning over it, looking incredibly sick and out of it, wrapping duct-tape around the wrists, and it took Lex a moment to realize that this form was Jeff.  Relief flooded throughout, and his chest felt lighter.

Clark…

Other than the queasy look on his face, the boy looked fine.

Lex tried to move, but the pain in his arm was caustic and raw and he just tried to relax instead.  He moaned loudly to catch Clark's attention and, at the sound, the boy whipped around.  He dropped the roll of tape and ran straight to Lex.

The concern in those green eyes was becoming commonplace to him, but it still had the same jarringly sweet emotional impact as it had the first time.

"God, Lex."  Hands cupped his face, soft and reassuring.  "Can you hear me?  Can you see me?"

Trembling, he nodded, and one of Clark's hands moved to pillow Lex's head against the floor while his fingers, impossibly soft for ones raised on a farm, gently began to pull back on the tape.  Lex watched the green meadows in Clark's eyes, seeing that the concern went deeper than that of a friendship.  It was loving concern.

love…

A love that, for once, was not hidden behind anything.  Clark was allowing his feelings to shine through so clearly that it felt as if everything in Lex's world had suddenly turned purple and clear.  He wished he had the guts to do something about it, to tell Clark how much he owed him, how much Clark meant to him and his dark and ragged existence.  He wished he could explain just how deeply through him Clark's influence ran.  How every blood cell was slowly altering for the good path in life just because Clark had proved to him that it didn't mean emotional hardship.  He was sure that Clark was still breathing for him, hadn't stopped since the day by the bridge, so very long ago, and yet, it just happened.

Clark took the tape off and Lex opened his mouth, not surprised when Clark reached in to pull the wad of tissues out.  He tossed them aside then let his hand lightly caress Lex's face.

"I'm so sorry, Lex."  He whispered, his eyes shiny in the firelight, sparkling in woeful regret.

Lex frowned not fully understanding.  The boy had just saved his life.  Again.  It was thanks to him that Lex had not been raped on the hardwood floor of his father's War Room.  What did he have to apologize for?

Clark's eyes refocused, as if he were remembering something.  Putting Lex's head carefully to rest on the floor, Clark moved to Lex's feet and pulled up the older boy's boxers and pants.

It was completely undignified and humiliating and worst of all it was Clark seeing him in the most debasing situation possible.

He shuttered as Clark lifted him up to get the clothes around his waist, then zipped up his slacks.  He clamped his eyes tight, hearing Clark rip the duct-tape off of his ankles.

he saw me…  like this…

He grimaced and groaned quietly.

Clark's shadow suddenly loomed over him.  He opened his eyes and Clark was hovering, right hand bracing himself on Lex's left side, next to his head.  "What's wrong?" Clark asked, panicked and breathing hard.  "D-did I hurt you?"

Lex mouthed the word 'no'.

"He didn't-"  The boy swallowed and Lex's heart suffered a major blow as he saw the glistening worry and the heated anger beginning to build in Clark's eyes.  "He didn't… do that did he?  He didn't take advantage-"

Lex shook his head and breathed in, finding himself unable to speak.  His mouth was dry, his throat tight with emotion and his whole body…  Oh, God, was he shaking?

Clark placed his hand on Lex's forehead, his jaw clenching and his eyes refusing to meet Lex's.  "Then maybe I won't kill him."  He placed a small kiss on Lex's cheek and started to move back.

Lex tried to swallow, but it only worked to further plaster his tongue to the roof of his mouth.  "Clark?"  The name was barely even a rustling, a broken, emotionally wrecked one at that.

Clark met his eyes but only for a second before a tear spilled down onto Lex's chest.  Clark looked away, pulling Lex's workshirt together over the ripped tee and starting to button it.  "I'm sorry, Lex," he whispered desperately.  "It's my fault this even got as far as it did."

Lex tried to sit up, but his arm…  Everything in his body was killing him, tender and aching.  He saw Clark wince at his pain, even more miserable now looking to Lex's weak arm.

He grabbed Lex's uninjured shoulder and the right side of his ribcage with firm but sweet hands and helped Lex to sit up.  Pressing closer, Clark looked over Lex’s hurt shoulder, gingerly removing the duct-tape with painstaking patience and care.

Once the duct-tape was taken off, Clark moved to get up but Lex grabbed his arm, dizzy and light-headed.  "Don't move," he croaked.  Clark reached out and pulled Lex closer, holding him, and Lex leaned into the half embrace.  "This isn't your fault," he croaked.

"Chloe and I found out it was him, and I…  I didn't get here as fast as I could have, Lex."

He gripped Clark's coat, shoving his face into the warm shoulder.  "You're here,” he whispered.  “You stopped him."

"From…  He would have…"

He nodded and realized that he was shaking again.  Or had he ever stopped?  "Yes."

"But he hurt you. I let that sword cut you."  There was a moment of silence before Clark replied, so softly that it took a moment to register with Lex.  "I let him touch you."

Lex pulled back and saw the sorrow, the deep anguish in Clark's eyes and he hated that.  He'd never seen such pain, such darkness there before.

Such self-loathing.

"Clark," he said and used his fingers to draw the boy's chin down.  Their eyes locked.  He tried to think of words that could help, words that would fit, something at all that would make things just a little better.  Only one word came to mind.

act.

He leaned forward and tilted his head up, brushing his lips lightly to Clark's.  "Take away my pain, Clark."

"How?" the boy whispered ardently.  "Just tell me how."

"Kiss me."

Lex found himself with Clark suddenly pressed against his mouth, his bottom lip in the other boy's mouth.  He moaned into the pressure and with his left hand, his good hand, he dragged his fingers into Clark's hair, pulling the boy closer.

Clark was making him feel better than Lex had ever dreamed, those soft, limber lips pulling at his own, taking away his fear and his pains.  He knew it was possible, he knew that Clark could make him whole, but he never figured it could happen with just a single kiss.
 

+_+_+_+_+
 

The police came and took Jeff away.  Lex, at Clark's insistence, let the farmboy drive him to the hospital, but only after they went around to the other grounds houses to check up on his staff.  Clark called his parents, explained the situation and insisted that he be allowed to stay the night with Lex at the hospital.

Lex, of course, refused to stay the night and had Clark drive him home.  They got inside and he turned to the younger boy, asking if he wanted to drive one of the cars home and bring it back the next day.  Clark had just looked at him for a moment, then moved closer.

"Clark?"

He shook his head and pressed a finger to Lex's mouth, leaving Lex to let out an unintentional moan.  He body trembled with the need to feel contact with Clark.

Clark stood there for a long moment, just looking at Lex not saying anything.  Then,  "I'll remove this under one condition."

"Hmm?"

He slowly bent down closer to Lex, and removed his finger only when his lips were centimeters from Lex's.  He kissed Lex so softly, with such deep love and passion that Lex's tired knees went out on him.

Clark caught him, steading him and pulled away to look at him.  "You know, I didn't mean what I said earlier.  About…"  Clark looked away and finished the rest in a whisper.  "About not wanting you.  I...  I do."

Lex felt a grin spread across his face and couldn't help but be himself.  "You know, Kent, I had caught that."

Clark didn't smile.  Instead strengthening his somber countence and looked down at Lex.  “I always have,” he whispered.

Lex shut his eyes and leaned into Clark, resting his head under the taller boy's chin.  “Clark, you don’t know how much I’ve needed to hear that.”

“Maybe almost as much as I’ve needed to say it.”  Clark kissed the top of his head.

Lex realized that all of the emptiness wasn’t going to go away.  It already had.  As long as he remained in Clark’s possession, no anger or rage or bitterness could truly affect him the way they always affected Luthor’s.  Clark had needed him from the beginning, just as he had needed Clark.  Despite all of the bleakness, the lies and deceit, the rumors and the name, Clark had was still there and Lex knew he was going to turn out okay because of it.

He took a deep breath, not at all worried and knowing somehow that it was not too soon for this.

it was never too soon.

“I love you, Clark.”

Clark shivered and pulled Lex tighter to him, still ever-mindful of the ailed arm, now in a cast and sling.  “I love you, too, Lex.  I love you, too. And I'd like to stay over, if that's okay."”
 

+_+_+_+_+
 

Lex had insisted on separate rooms for some reason completely unknown to him.  As Clark helped him to bed, tucked him under the sheets and slowly kissed him goodnight, all he could think of was how stupid it was not to ask Clark to stay with him.

Nightmares came, horrible and graphic.  One where Clark never made it to the mansion, one where Clark made it to the mansion, but then never out of it.  One where Lex watched a visible Jeff violate and kill his best friend.  Try as he might, he couldn't get away from them.  He couldn't seem to be able to wake up and when Jeff plunged the sword into Clark's abs, he screamed.  Clark's eyes were so dark and sad and lonely and-

"Why couldn't you save me, Lex?  How many times have I kept you alive?  Why didn't you-"

Then warmth surrounded him, chasing the images away and smelling so clean.
 

+_+_+_+_+
 

Later that night Lex woke with an arm wrapped around his abdomen and a head on his chest.  He breathed in deep and slow and brought his hand up to Clark's head, finally allowed to touch, to feel.

so soft.  like...

He frowned.

like...

Lex couldn't for the life of him think of anything as soft or perfect as Clark's hair.  So he just smiled and ran his hands through it again, this time allowing himself more.

"Go back to sleep."  Clark's voice wasn't sleep-slurred or even remotely tired, surprising him.

His voice, on the other hand, was thick and groggy.  "What about you?"

He felt Clark shrug against him and shifted so he could feel more of Clark near him.

"I'll sleep when I get home."

i wish this was your home.

He cleared his throat.  "Why are you-"

"You screamed my name," Clark interrupted him.  "I thought..."

"What?"

"I thought Jeff got back somehow.  I thought he was in here."

Jeff.  invisible.

Lex moved to look around, pulling on his arm. He hissed in pain and the next thing he knew, Clark was sitting up next to him holding him down, gently but firmly.  Lex realized Clark was trying to keep him from pulling on his arm and further hurting himself.

"Are you okay?"

"Jeff, I just-"

"It's okay, Lex.  He's not coming back."

"But he's invisible.  He told me that-"  Lex leaned back against the pillow and shut his eyes, sighing.  "He said he'd been in my room at nights."  He felt Clark stiffen above him.  "Said that he touched me."  Clark's breathing became slower, more practiced and purposeful.  "He listened on our conversations, too, Clark.  Pretty much from the beginning."

He felt Clark's warm hand caressing his face and he nuzzled into the touch.

"He's not here now," came Clark's reassuring voice.

Still, Lex opened his eyes, not completely believing.  The beautiful green eyes above him, so loving and tender...  They almost gave him pure peace.

almost, but jeff could still hurt him.  could kill him...

"How could I ever know for sure?"

Clark looked around the darkened room and Lex frowned, not sure if his farmboy understood the meaning of the word 'invisible'.

"Uh, Clark-"

The green eyes turned back to him and Lex realized with a start that they were the color of Lana Lang's necklace, more ornate and sparkling than even emerald in the desert moodlight.  "Don't worry, Lex.  We're alone."

"But Jeff was-"

Clark kissed him lightly on the forehead, then move to settle back into his previous embrace, arm around Lex's torso.  "Trust me."

Lex closed his eyes.  That was good enough for him.
 
 
 
 
 
 

FIN