Chapter 10: Must Be Crazy For Me

"I don't see how this constitutes as a problem, Peter." Lex interrupted, paying closer attention to the pen in his nimble fingers than to the man before him. He shifted in his seat, tired of watching the blond minion sputtering out the latest ho-hum from Lionel.

With his frosted hair-

…completely undeserving of those locks…

-ostentatious suits, glittery watch and overly shiny manicured talons, Peter Clayton was really beginning to get on his nerves. He had been working for Lex's father for the last two months now, as a middle man for the two Luthers, and had the cool calm strictly reserved for those who thought they had it made merely because Lionel Luther "trusted" them. Only Clayton also held a level of apathetic superiority that Lex was positive had to do with the fact that Lex's father let the man deal with his son. Lex couldn't wait to dispel him of the illusion that he was important to Lionel, that he was above the mass. He figured it may take time, but he'd eventually get it done.

…and the feeling of absolute exhilaration when I do…

"It's simple. Lionel merely-"

"My father," he interrupted again, this time his tone exhibiting his utter distaste and boredom. "-has made his opinions on the subject very clear. And after this tedious little session-" he gave the Ken doll in Armani a pointed look. "-I have decided to stick even more wholeheartedly with my previous strategy for the project at hand. If he wishes to try and convince me otherwise, he can always soar via Luther Air and be here in less than an hour."

"He was assuming he wouldn't have to resort to that."

Lex smirked. "Of course he was. He should know, however, that I don't allow myself to be persuaded by his second-hand cronies."

"Like father, like son, then?"

Lex's smirk faltered, instantly recovering but still allowing the man sitting opposite him a flash of victory. "I'm a Luther, aren't I? The necessary steps should have been more than obvious."

Peter uncrossed his arms, smoothly leaning forward in his chair and looking directly at Lex. Before he could get a word out, a loud knock at the door broke his concentration, the bold noise startling him and causing him to snap back in his seat. Lex's discerning eyes narrowed in suspicion at the man's unwitting actions- first the skittish jump and his avoidance of Lex's stare- which belied the calm exterior he was now unmistakably trying so hard to evince, showing the parcel of wiry nerves beneath.

…what's he hiding?…

"Come in," Lex called, not glancing away from the man opposite him, now leaning back in the overstuffed chair and staring uninterested at the floor.

His butler, Samuel, opened the door. "Master Luther. There is a Clark Kent here to see you."

His eyes shot to where Sam was standing and his heart lurched in it's chest, calling attention to itself. He swallowed.

…calm down…

Keeping his voice and body language nonchalant, he continued. "Yes?"

"Yes sir. He wanted to see you." Sam pointed unnecessarily at his own feet in hopes that Lex would gather Clark was here to check up on his health. Lex almost smiled at the old man. Samuel Loomis wasn't the quickest of characters, but he was still a good and loyal man. Lex nodded to him.

"About the other night," he continued.

Lex nodded again, worried that the Sam might say something to pique Clayton's very much unwanted interest. "Right. Thank you, Loomis. Just show him in, would you?"

Once Sam had departed, Clayton looked back up. "Were we finished here?"

Lex sighed rudely, acting the disinterested spoiled successor, but truthfully he was anticipating another implication of what Peter was in the midst of divulging.

…or pretending to divulge…

"I was," Lex started, tossing his pen into the air and catching it. "-but I suppose you have something more to say."

"I do."

"Joy to the world." He continued to play with his pen. "And what might that be, Clayton?" He didn't miss the minuscule cringe caused by his informal use of the other man's last name.

Peter took a deep breath and leaned to the edge of his seat again.

…any more and he'll fall off…

"Maybe your father underestimates you, Mister Luther."

Lex, whose most recent toss had the gold writing utensil glinting in mid-air, stared at the minion in front of him and let the pen fall to the carpeted floor as if he were shocked at Clayton's words. The small thunk of the pen was the only sound in the room, and he watched in amusement as the emotions, inadequately concealed, streamed across Peter's face and through his eyes.

…he wants to know if I'll take the bait…

He knew where Peter was headed. The unspoken offer to work both sides, the inferred proposal to work as an infiltrator for Lex, now permeated the air thickly, but only if you were astute to only the words. Looking into Peter's eyes made the endeavor even more obvious as Lex could see the same dullness, the same paragon reproduction he saw in each of his father's sycophants. Peter was merely following Herr Luther's demands.

But what, exactly, were his demands? Why carry through on such a faulty and overdone formula? His father had always detested the cliched.

…oh, daddy dearest, what are we up to now?…

The silence was dense and no doubt thrumming against Peter's ear drums. Could Lex Luther be lured?

Whether or not he would play the game would be left up to Peter Clayton and his willingness to pursue this deviating track. Right now, Lex heard Clark coming down the hall, his farmer's boots muffling the heavy steps on the marble floor, and his current priority was not even minutely questioned.

"Well, that's it then. Until next time, Peter, I bid you farewell."

It was clear that Clayton had not anticipated being tossed aside like this; not after such a revelation, after such a colossal turn of events- at least in his mind- had passed. Apparently, in his mind, Lex should have canceled the meeting with Kent, and spent more time trying to pry into Peter's psyche to interpret his words, desperate to find out just what he meant.

Lex smiled realizing it might not take that long to show Clayton just what he meant to the Luthers in general. He was merely a toy, being thrown around to annoy both father and son- mostly son- and once Lionel got wind that Lex had broken this version, he'd upgrade.

The knock on his office door caused him to shift in his seat. It was becoming more difficult to mask his anticipation at seeing the face beyond the door.

"Come in."

He heard the knob start to turn and he glanced with annoyance and impatience at Clayton who finally got the point. He stood clumsily, as if he didn't quite know what to do or think.

The door opened all the way and Lex caught sight of the tall, dark-haired creature as he entered. Watching the boy with hungry eyes, he found Clark was surprised to discover a business associate in the office with Lex, and leaned awkwardly against the doorjamb, hands shoved deep within his pockets. The long sleeved blue shirt he was wearing hugged humbly at the contours of his strong and healthy body. Lex met his eyes, smiling and Clark returned Lex's smile with his own, a shy and reserved one compared to the dazzlers he was capable of. He looked away quickly, noticeably reddening and Lex's stomach abruptly forgot the laws of gravity as it tried to float up into his throat. It was obvious that Saturday night was on both of their minds.

"We'll continue this later then?"

Lex waved, dismissing Clayton, who had been walking backwards. The only reason Lex met the man's gaze with his own was that Peter happened to be obstructing his view-

…lovely view…

-of Clark. "Oh, happiness abounds," he sneered sarcastically.

Peter turned around to leave and noticed Clark, stationary in his pose. He turned back to Lex and his frown openly contested Kent's presence, practically dripping with contempt as his expression seemed to ask 'this farmer's kid is more important than business?'.

Lex said nothing but raised an eyebrow, daring Clayton to defy him. The man turned and stalked out the door, his feet hitting the polished stone floor harder than they had when incoming.

Lex looked back to Clark. The mere sight of the young man was softening his heart. "Sorry about that."

The boy pushed himself off the jamb and shrugged. "That's alright."

Lex nodded. "Could you close the door?"

As Clark turned to perform the task, Lex gripped the desk and tried to haul himself out of his seat. His whole back screamed at him sending jolts down his spine, and below the torso every muscle was preoccupied with burning in agony, but he would be damned if he was just going to sit while Clark was in his presence. He wanted too much to be closer and wouldn't mind the aches if that nearness were at all possible. He just didn't want the boy to see him trying to get up.

He pushed himself harder, using his arms more than his less stable and currently trembling legs. He heard the door close-

…didn't think it would take this long to get up…

-as he gritted his teeth against the pain, eyes shut. The next thing he knew Clark was by his side helping him up.

…oh, well; certainly not a bad consolation prize…

"I don't really-"

"Need my help?" came the worried tone, causing Lex to look up into Clark's eyes. Their faces came close, noses brushing, and Lex felt warmth within his stomach.

…so close; I could just lean forward and kis-…

Clark pulled back a foot, but didn't let go, leading Lex to the couch near the barren fireplace. He gently pushed him down onto the plush cushions and sat down in front of him on the coffee table. He looked expectantly at Lex, eyebrows raised endearingly.

…he looks so- worried…

"It's not that bad really." He tried to swallow, but wasn't incredibly successful. "They're a little stiff," he continued. "But once I've been walking awhile, they'll loosen up."

Clark didn't move for a moment, just looking at Lex, then he dropped his gaze. He took Lex's left leg in his hands, his tenderness forcing Lex to regulate his breath before it became too shallow, and pulled it straight out slowly, not wanting to hurt his friend. Lex winced at the strain on his upper thigh and calf, but motioned for Clark to keep it up. He breathed with the stretch as Clark pushed his leg back to him, bending it at the knee.

Clark smiled, looking down at Lex's footwear. "Expensive shirt, nice khakis, and these," he said tugging gently on the lavish slippers. The gauze underneath for the blisters was visible.

Lex sighed. "They're orthopedic."

"They're blue."

"Not colorblind, I see."

"And fuzzy."

Lex laughed, not at all surprised to find fondness beginning to well up inside.

Clark continued with the next stretch. "Man about the town."

"They're for walking around the house, Clark."

He graced Lex with a comforting smile, but it seemed a little... off.

…he seems a little nervous; maybe he's got no real clue what to say…

"Man about the manor, then."

"Hardly." Lex glared and nodded at the desk. "You've seen the extent of my recovery."

"But Marcy's still letting you walk?"

Lex was momentarily surprised at the mention of his nurse, but it only made sense that Clark would have met the little woman. It also seemed oddly fitting, comforting in a manner with which Lex was entirely unaccustomed to, but the significance of the boy meeting his caretaker- once upon a time his nanny- of whom he cared for immensely-

…you would certainly do greatly by expressing that partiality to her; she's more than earned it…

-was not lost on the young Luther. "Yes. Well, actually she's making me. I was in bed the first day... after. Then she came in the next morning and said it was enough rest."

Clark smirked at him, still managing to look the ever-innocent farmboy. "Hard to imagine someone having control over Lex Luther."

…you've got more than marcy shelton, god and my father put together…

Lex pushed his thought away and smiled. There had been nothing malicious about Clark's mention of his surname, nothing crude or degrading, and he took a moment to revel in that. He couldn't remember the last time, or any time, when someone uttered the Luther name without a hint of disgust. "Yeah, well, she's always been like that. Besides a day in bed was bad enough, you know? Too much silence."

…too much time to think and not do…

The 'not doing' had almost driven him mad. Luther's were always on the move.

There was a moment of contented reticence as Clark switched legs and Lex just watched the handsome face before him. It sometimes amazed him just how altruistic Kent was, seemingly munificent to the last, and this moment in time was no different. He shook his head imperceptibly at just how absolutely considerate and... well, doting Clark was. It was the exact opposite of his less than indulgent father, the exact opposite of his less than affectionate upbringing.

The feelings that had been welling up inside his chest now started to balloon and he knew that he was going to have to do something about them and soon. His hand was itching to touch the boy, to stroke the amiable face, so close. He could still feel that silky, raven-colored mane, snarled severely within his slender fingers. He'd been deprived for too long of those lips and the solid, stalwart arms. He wanted them wrapped around him again.

All of a sudden his ears were filled with the memory of Clark's voice growling his name deeply and wantonly in primal warning. It was as if the sound still resonated through the walls of the huge castle-like house, and he wouldn't have been surprised if it had.

He bit down hard on his bottom lip and held back his own throaty exuberance as he continued to watch Clark, his yearning intensifying.

…whoa; that's not the way to calm things down; getting a hard on before you're even seeing the kid is decidedly not taking it slow…

He saw Clark frown and felt the atmosphere's abrupt change, somewhat thankful for the chance to cool down. He deposited his cravings to the side, and instinctively knew he wasn't going to like the next topic of conversation.

Clark cleared his throat. "Not that it's really any of my business, but why were you... running Saturday night?"

Lex looked to his feeble leg, moving cautiously back and forth in the strong and trusted hands, relaxing as the muscles warmed. Neither boy met the other's eyes. "I had to do some thinking."

…or escape it…

"Lot of thinking," stated Clark simply.

…not so much really…

"Well, it wa-" He stopped, suddenly understanding what Clark was most likely getting at. He picked at a piece of lint-

…no lint; not even a wrinkle there…

-on his khakis. "You want to know why I was running by your house."

Clark looked up at Lex who still didn't meet his gaze. "That, too, but..."

"But?"

Clark shrugged. "I was also worried, you know? That's kind of a long run, and you looked..." he paused and Lex could tell he was searching for an accurate remark, something that would attest to Lex's prior, frail condition. "Tired."

Lex smiled. Tired indeed.

…I must have look like death…

He sighed, trying to pull his sore leg from Clark's grip. Clark let it go and stood, reaching down to help Lex. He took the proffered hands.

"I don't know why I was there," he started as he was hefted up. With the coffee table and the couch sandwiching their calves, there was no way for either to move backwards, not that Lex wanted to. He was fine with the proximity, was fine with the random body parts loosely brushing up against other random parts. Was fine with Clark's two inch advantage in height. He had always been one for shorter partners but then again there were a lot of things about Clark that challenged Lex's life paradigm. "It's just where I ended up."

"Where you ended up?"

Ended up. He remembered waking up to Clark holding him tightly, removing his tears, offering so much in just the most simple gestures of friendship. The clarity, the detail of every sensation; sight-

---clark looking into my eyes with such ardent needs---

-smell-

---clark's scent fills my nose, my mind, like a sweet fog of overwhelming proportions---

-hearing-

---"It's okay, Lex. Shhh…"---

-taste-

…oh, god, taste; how did he taste? I couldn't have forgotten…

-it all flooded into his mind, Saturday night and nothing but was present, a rare occurrence for anyone as debilitated as he had been. He had bared everything to Clark-

---"My soul is yours."---

-and Clark had returned Lex's passion. More than returned it. He had fed off it, desire growing with each second. Lex wanted that again.

"Yes," he said, bringing his hand up, the backs of his fingers lightly caressing Clark's cheek. Lex watched with mounting desire as the boy's eyes closed. "And I couldn't have ended up in a better place." He lifted his head and closed his own eyes, lips finding their way blindly to press up against Clark's. There was an intake of breath and a sweet instant where Clark pushed back against his mouth, then-

Then Clark pulled away.

Lex's eyes shot open. "What? I'm sorry, I-"

Clark shook his head and moved, stumbling around the coffee table and away from Lex. He frowned.

…okay, what's wrong with this picture…

"Oh, shit," he whispered, feeling as if hot lead had just been poured into his stomach. No. It wasn't all a dream. Not all of it.

…it wasn't a dream; not with clark and me in my bedroom; no God can't be that cruel, not even to me…

Clark was looking down at the floor scratching the back of his head. "Lex-"

…it was…

"-listen-"

…it was a dream, and I just kissed the kid, and it was a dream; everything I wanted…

"-about Saturday night."

Lex froze. He was about to sink back down onto the couch in despair, but the mention of Saturday held him captive with abated breath.

"I really... I don't know what happened."

So, he was nervous. Well, Lex could fix that. He walked the best he could, crossing the distance between him and Clark, not feeling at all embarrassed by his afflicted gate. He couldn't be, not in front of Kent anyway, who, even in his highly flustered state, dropped the bashful pose in exchange for a worried and fretful one as Lex crossed the floor space, ready at the first sign of trouble to catch his friend.

Lex grinned at him as he approached. "Even I remember what happened, and I was practically unconscious."

To his dismay, Clark didn't return the grin with his own megawatt version that Lex was so hoping to achieve; a grin that would reinstate their previous repartee-light disposition, a grin that he was hoping would change the entire ambiance of the room, helping the conversation to travel towards a more comfortable composure. Instead the boy looked eminently conflicted, as if an internal antagonism of which he could not pacify raged. "I didn't say I didn't remember. I said I didn't know."

Lex froze again. His tone became more cautious, words slower. "What do you mean, you don't know, Clark?" An idea sprung to mind. "Is this about the age thing?"

Clark frowned, effectively shooting down Lex's optimism in one adept and precise strike. "Uh, no. I hadn't even considered that."

"Neither had I, actually," he realized. "But I'm sure," he continued quickly. "-that seventeen's above the age of consent here."

"It is. But-" Clark shook his head. "-that's not what this is about."

"Then what?" He took a step towards Clark, who, in turn, took two back.

…this is not good, not good, not good at all…

"What is this, Clark?" He could hear panic, blunt panic, rising in his voice, but he wasn't going to hide it. He wanted Clark to know how important he was to him and that wasn't going to happen if he pulled the old Luther tricks of concealment out of the bag. He had already given in, had already sworn that he would hold nothing back and that was the hardest part, right? So this should be simple to face. Clark owned him free and clear and the least Lex could do in return for everything the farmboy had given him was to concede his feelings in the most truthful manner possible. His pride was inconsequential and he knew it.

"Saturday was- It was-"

…oh, no; don't you dare say it, clark…

"It was a mistake, Lex. You were so..."

"'So' what?" he asked, eyes frantically searching Clark's face. He saw regret there, but whether it was for Saturday's events or for what Kent was doing now, he couldn't tell. "'So' what? What was I?"

"You were... vulnerable."

The word shook Lex to the core, and he grabbed at the corner of his desk, his weak legs almost collapsing in on him. Clark stepped forward, but Lex shook his head. Clark didn't move towards Lex anymore, but he didn't move back either.

…vulnerable…

Shit.

"Are you saying that you…" He paused, becoming more confused at the inextricable situation as he watched pain-

…okay; why pain?…

-cross Clark's features. "Are you saying you took pity on me?"

Clark swallowed and looked down at his feet. He nodded.

If there was one thing in the world that Lex Luther knew, it was lies, and he didn't need that knowledge to help him discern that Clark had just laid a big, fat one right on his lap. He had figured that if the wholesome Clark Kent ever lied he would have been horrible at it, but the kid looked as if he hadn't even tried.

"Pity." Lex stated, receiving another nod. "Bullshit, Clark. There was feeling in those kisses." The word made Clark shift his weight uncomfortably from one foot to the other and glance longingly at the door.

Lex realized that Clark could have walked out that door at any single moment, still could. But would he? "There was meaning in our kisses. There was-" He stopped short, sudden insight leaving him speechless.

…it was there the whole time and I didn't see it…

There was more than lust and desire and comfort in time of need. There was love. Maybe not the kind that had people eloping and marrying in Vegas, maybe not the kind that seemed like soulmates-

…well, maybe not for him; soulmates does sound right after that dream though…

-and perfect, blissful eternity-

…yet…

-but it was very obviously-

…love…

"Love."

Clark looked up at him abruptly, fear in his eyes, fear so poignant that it struck Lex as his own from the dream of the cold field.

…and the warm clark…

He hated the fear being inside himself but felt absolutely shredded at the sight of it in those blue eyes, those blue eyes that he was going to have to fight and fight hard for. "What's wrong?" he asked letting his compassion leak through.

Clark avoided Lex's question and gaze as he started for the door. "I have to go."

"No, don't leave, please." Luthers didn't say please-

…the word's coming pretty easily now, though…

-but that fact didn't cause Clark to slow his stride.

…it's now or never…

"I need you."

He stopped, hand on the knob.

Lex took a wary step forward. "Please, Clark. I can't do this alone."

Clark turned, clearly afraid of what he might find in the other man's stare, but brave enough to face it. "Can't do what?"

Lex shrugged, holding his arms out helplessly. "Take your pick: Be me instead of my father. Change, exist." He took another step closer. "Breathe."

Clark fumbled with the door, finally opening it. "I'm sorry, Lex. I just... don't feel the same." He walked out and Lex stumbled a few steps behind him until he realized that he couldn't run after Kent. If he tried he'd fall, and Clark would no doubt come back, only to leave just as soon as Lex was properly seated.

He hobbled back towards his chair, noticing the aches in his legs that had been miraculously absent in Clark's presence. He tried to convince himself that he wouldn't run after Clark because of his dignity, his pride, but he wasn't fooling even the most gullible and wishful part of him. He knew that, had his feet been healthy and sturdy, he would have run as fast as he could, yanking Clark into his arms, holding him up against the wall, and kissing him, kissing him until the boy admitted to his feelings, until he begged Lex to forgive him of his stupidity.

As Lex sat, he ran his hand over his smooth scalp wondering just what exactly he was going to do to get Clark back. This was just a small problem, nothing that he and Clark couldn't work out. Lex would do anything to assure that. The pain he had seen in Clark's eyes, then the fear. The fact that there had almost been a kiss, a real kiss, one where no one was unconscious or in need of anything... It all led up to something.

Clark was afraid of something and that something had to do with him, Lex Luther.

But what could Clark ever be afraid of?
 
 
 
 
 

To be continued...