An Official Nym Net Fan Fiction, by Stephen Keller Ten Myn Saga! Part One, or How Nym Learns the True Evil of War Gods Myn, totally dejected, sat alone feeling sorry for himself. This wasn't fair at all! That stupid Nym, and all his stupid fire-head (of course Myn doesn't say ice-head) friends were always picking on him. Just because he was evil, and liked to do evil stuff, and make fun of them, and hit them, and try to take over Nym ^.^ Net, didn't mean he was such a bad guy. (Author's note: actually, it does. Myn: Hey! You are supposed to be on my side! Author: Whatever, as long as I get my cash at the end of this... You are gonna pay me, right? Myn: Umm, yeah...) Anyway, the point is Myn was feeling pretty down. The one thing Myn wanted most in life was to run Nym Net, because then everyone would respect him. As it was, no one respected him, and that really upset Myn. He pulled out Nym's Game Boy (which he "borrowed" from Nym), and started playing some Tetris. Normally he wasn't any good, but today he was on a role! His defeat by Otaku Nym had whipped him up into a Tetris-playing frenzy! He hit three Tetris' in a row, and kept going! He was well past level 9, yet he had managed to be able to play through the intense speeds. He checked his points, and then he realized something: he was about to beat Nym's high score! Just a few more lines... A noise startled him, and he dropped the GB. He looked up to see what it was, and he was exceptionally angry when he saw that it was Nym and his mom, in the car, driving off. He wondered where Nym was going, then realized that he had dropped the Game Boy! It was still okay, but he lost his game!! He had to get back at Nym for that. He needed a plan... Just like that, a brillant idea popped into his head. He got out of the bushes near Nym's house where he had been lurking, and made his way back to his hide-out. Surprised Myn has a hide-out? All bad guys have hide-outs, although Myn's wasn't much more than a run down shack. He set the Game Boy down on his table, and then picked up his secret weapon. Carefully, he put it into a (slightly-used) garbage bag, and then he took off back to Nym's. He waited, once more in the bushes, until Nym returned. Nym had just gotten back from Wal Mart, and was going on about FF 3 or something (Myn didn't care, he hated any game by Square Soft). He waited until Nym's mom wasn't paying attention, and then threw a rock at Nym's shoulder. "I wish I wouldn't have taken it ba-- hey!" Nym cried out, looking around to see what had hit him. He crept into the bushes to see what was going on, and Myn launched his plan. Just as Nym got to Myn, Myn pulled his secret weapon out of the garbage bag - a Pikachu doll! Nym, caught off guard, made the mistake of looking directly into it's eyes. He went instantly into convulsions, and quickly passed out... Nym awoke to find himself in Myn's hide-out, with Myn standing over him. "Myn! I should have known you would be up to more evil! Well, I'm gonna toast you like Mog would toast a kupoant! Masamune!" Nym looked around, surprised to not see the Masamune that he'd summoned. "Mwa ha ha ha," Myn laughed, sounding like a wannabe Kefka. "Your powers are useless here! Take a look around!" Nym looked, and saw that he was in a circle of games. There was War Gods, and Fantastic Four, and Aero Fighters Assault, and... "No! BAD GAMES! I can't defeat all these by myself! I can't even move past them!" Myn smiled. "That's why it's so perfect! You're trapped, Nym. &.)" Nym looked puzzled. "&.) ? What in the world is &.) ?" "Well, it's my new smiley! Like it?" "New smiley? That's the lamest smiley I've ever seen! It's nothing even CLOSE to a real face!" Myn was upset. "Well, it's a whole lot better than ^.^ whatever that is!" "You're just jealous because you didn't think of it first, you lazy ice head!" "Yeah, well, you're just mad because you're trapped in the circle of quality (Myn only likes cheasy games) entertainment software! You can only handle those lame RP-thingers made by Circle!" "You stupid Myn! It's RPGs, and they're made by Square! How long are you going to hold me here? The PaRappa hat is locked up, and UST or Code Rat or Ted-Chi will come looking for me sooner or later! Just give it up and surrender!" Myn smiled (again). "But I've thought this plan through! I'm gonna take your place, and no one will ever know you're missing!" Suddenly, an evil music played. Nym was visibly worried now. "Evil music! That can't be good!" Myn smiled (yet again). "Well, I'm gonna be going, if you get bored, here's a Game Boy. I've only got Hunch Back of Notre Dame: Topsy Turvy Games, but that should do. Ta-ta!" ANNOUNCER: Will Myn's evil schemes work? Will Nym be able to escape? Will someone please tell me what a Kupoant is? For the answers to these questions, and maybe more, be sure to surf back for the next exciting chapter in the Ten Myn saga! Ten Myn Saga! Part Two, or How UST gets Stuffed ANNOUNCER: Previously on Ten Myn: Nym's evil double, Myn, set about on a nefarious scheme to kidnap Nym, and take his place. Using a Pikachu doll, he brought Nym to his hide-out, where Nym is trapped within a circle of bad games, unable to escape. What is Myn REALLY up to? Will Uncle Stove Top be able to spot Myn as an imposter? Will Nym ever end up liking Topsy Turvy Games? Stay tuned! *** Myn walked back to Nym's house, chuckling to himself. For once, one of his evil plans was working! All he had to do was pretend to be Nym, which shouldn't be too hard, because he looked exactly like him. Of course, they didn't act alike, but Myn could fake that. Or so he hoped, as he opened up Nym's door. "Hey Nym, where you been?" asked Uncle Stove Top. He had a big bowl of his favorite food, Stove Top Stuffing with black olives. "Ummm, I, uh, saw Myn, and had to teach him a lesson again," Myn said. "So, what's going on here?" "Not much," replied UST, in between bites. "Code Rat's trying to get the date with Yuffie in FF7, and Ted-chi is watching some anime (what else?)." "Oh, okay, well I'll see you later," mumbled Myn. "See me later? Where ya going?" asked UST. This one stumped Myn. He had never really thought about what he'd do if he could fool UST. He had only planned to take Nym's place, he had no clue as to what he should do... Again, inspiration came to Myn (he was in rare form today). "I'm gonna go work on Nym Net!" he said. "Allright, well I'm gonna finish this stuffing. You wanna do something when I'm done?" "Uh, maybe later, gotta go update the page and all," Myn said, getting annoyed at UST. He wanted to go take over Nym Net, not talk with this Stove Top eating fire head. Not waiting for UST to reply, he took off to the computer. He booted it up and got on the internet. He was so happy he could hardly contain himself. Finally, after all this plotting, Nym Net was going to be his! That's when he saw the fatal flaw in his plan: he didn't know Nym's password. He hit himself in the forehead for being such an idiot, and then sat down trying to think of a way to get it. He could go back and try to get Nym to give it to him, but he knew that wouldn't happen. He wasn't clever enough to try and guess it, so that was out of the picture. He had been about to give up, when the last good idea he'd have for a long while came to him: he could get it out of Uncle Stove Top! Myn devised a most devious way to weasel the information out of UST, and spent the entire night preparing for it. It took him forever to find the right ingredients to mask the taste of his secret recipe, but when he was done, he had a very powerful weapon to get the info. Myn waited for Uncle Stove Top to wake up. And he waited. And he waited. Getting angry (patience was not one of Myn's better qualities), he went up into the attic, and shouted to wake up UST. "YOU STUPID FIRE HEAD, GET UP! YOU GONNA SLEEP ALL DAY!?" UST woke up suddenly. "Huh? That you, Nym? I thought you called me a fire head..." Myn realized his mistake. "Uh, no, um, you were dreaming. Come on, I made a great Stove Top breakfast." All of UST's worries were put aside with the mention of Stove Top. "Whoo hoo! Didja put black olives in it?" Myn smirked as they headed towards the kitchen. "Oh yes, there's LOTS of olives, just the way you like it." Myn handed UST a bowl, filled with what looked like Stove Top Stuffing. UST gulped it down. "Wait a minute, this Stove Top tastes kinda funny," said UST, about half done. "Oh, I don't know what you mean. Finish it," said Myn, trying not to openly smile his evil smile. UST ate the last bit of it, but then started to look sick. "What's going on? Something's not right!" UST muttered weakly. "Very good you moron! I'm not Nym at all, but Myn! Mwa ha ha ha!" Myn laughed. "Myn! I should have known!" said UST, as he tried to get up to warn the others. However, he found himself unable to do much more than squirm on the ground. "Stove Top powers... fading... What did you put in there?" Myn flashed a toothy grin. "Oh, a few additives, some preservitives, and one or two WHITE OLIVES! HA HA HA!" UST looked at Myn funny. "White olives? What are those? And, I saw them, all the olives were black!" "Heh heh, white olives are the exact opposite of black olives. While black olives give you power, white ones sap it away! I took care of the color with a marker (Author's note: ick), and I masked the taste as well as I could." UST was on the verge of passing out. "Please, I need black olives to counter the effects. Give me some, you stooge!" Myn laughed. "What's it worth to you??" UST was puzzled. "Uh, what do you want?" "THE PASSWORD TO NYM NET!" "Never!" "Give it to me, or else I leave you here!" UST had no choice. He gave Myn the password. "Now, give me black olives!" Myn smiled. "All in good time, my friend #$%" Even in his weak state, UST knew something was wrong. "#$%? What is #$%?" Myn got very angry. "IT'S A SMILEY! WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE??? AGH, FORGET IT! Good night, UST." As he said that, UST passed out from lack of power. *** Uncle Stove Top woke up to find himself in a run down shack, with Nym sitting in a circle of what looked like various games, shouting at his Game Boy. "YOU LOUSY ICE HEAD GAME! I WANT A REAL GB GAME! WHERE'S PIKACHU WHEN YOU NEED HIM?" "Nym!" shouted UST. Nym then saw UST. "Uncle Stove Top, what're you doing here? Oh well, move these games so I can escape. Myn's up to some mischief, and he must be stopped." "I wish I could Nym, but that stupid Myn fed me white olives! My Stove Top powers are so weak that I can no longer do anything, even save you." Nym was shocked. "That lousy Myn! His talent must be robbing people of their powers... Hey, that's it! That's Myn's power, because he's the opposite of me, he can nullify any power by using the opposite ability! Of course, that doesn't help us escape..." UST cast Nym a forlorn glance. "Oh, there's something else I need to tell you. I sort of gave Myn the password to Nym Net..." Nym was shocked. "YOU DID WHAT!? Now Myn can spread his evil throughout the entire Internet, and to all of Nym Net's loyal readers! Who knows what trouble he'll cause!?" ANNOUNCER: Who does know what trouble Myn will cause? Will he take over Nym Net for good? Will someone rescue Nym and Uncle Stove Top? Would you like to know the answers? How much would you pay? $50? $10? Well, it's your lucky day, because if you come back tomorrow for the thrilling conclusion to the Ten Myn Saga, Part Three (or How Cute is Cool), you'll find out, totally free! Don't miss it! Ten Myn Saga! Part Three, or How Cute is Cool ANNOUNCER: The final stage of Myn's plan has been set, as he now holds both Nym and UST prisoner, and also has the password to Nym Net (which he wrangled out of UST with the help of some black colored white olives). What will Myn do with his knowledge? Will anyone be able to stop him? Why is this part so late (hint: the author is lazy)? We now present, for your viewing pleasure, the final installment of the Ten Myn Saga! *** Myn cackled evilly. He sat at Nym's computer, banging at the keys with one finger (of course, Myn can't type, he's not that co-ordinated). For the last day and night, he had been working on the remake of Nym Net. He didn't know HTML, but that wasn't enough to stop him. He just got himself one of those nifty little programs that makes pages for you, and went to work pointing and clicking. "Hmmm, yes, 18 frames on one screen should do it... I think a quarter inch viewing space should be enough," he mused. "Oh, this should be good... Three java applets, 15 automatically loading sound bits (all music clips from The Villiage People), and perhaps a few animated gifs for good measure." He set the background to be an incoherent 500k JPEG of purple shapes on a solid pink color, and made the text a nice shade of red so that while it was readable, one had to strain his or her eyes to just barely make it out. Myn was so pre-occupied with his page that he didn't notice Ted-chi walk in on him. "Heya Nym, didja hear Lorenzo's back, and he got 41 of the 42 Dragon Ball Z mangas? When are we going to Japan??" "Huh? Uh, never, Japan sucks. Piss off, I'm busy," Myn grumbled, forgetting that he was impersonating Nym, so he reverted to his normal idiot personality. Ted-chi was shocked. "NANDE!?!? You feeling okay, Nym?" he asked, just as he noticed the page Myn was working on. "What have you done to Nym Net? And where's my Animental section!?!" Myn was getting upset. He was soooo close to finishing his page, and this stupid fire head was not about to get in his way. "I got rid of your dumb anime section, Nym Net is now just about daytime soap operas, none of that other stupid stuff we had on before." "Okay Nym, you stay up all night playing Chrono Trigger or something?" Ted-chi inquired. "NO! LEAVE ME ALONE, I'M ALMOST DONE!" shouted Myn, looking up from his horrible pretense of a page. "Fine, I'll go see what UST's up to..." Ted-chi said, leaving the room. Myn went back to his work. He was busy setting up 7 gate pages, each with large graphics (and no height/width tags), when Ted walked back in. "Nym, sorry to bother you, but have you seen Uncle Stove Top around? I haven't seen him since yesterday..." Myn cursed under his breath. All he needed to do was to finish the page, and then upload it. Once it was online, his power would grow, totally unchecked, allowing him to replace Nym permanently. But, if Ted-chi or anyone else was able to stop him before that time, his plans would be ruined. He had to distract Ted just long enough to finish. "Um, he said he was going to summer camp." The typical "anime-confused" look came over Ted-chi's face. "Summer camp? You must be crazy, Nym! First, it's not summer. Second, why would UST go to camp?? He's 35!!" "I don't know, why don't you ask UST that. Send him an e-mail, and go you weird looking freak!!!" Myn snapped. At that point, Ted-chi knew something was seriously wrong. "Hey Coderat, get in here!" he called. Within a minute, Coderat scurried into the room. "This better be good, I was about to pull off a 1080!" he said. Ted-chi motioned to Coderat, and the two went off in the corner, whispering. Had Myn been paying better attention, he would have found that unsettling. But, we all know Myn's strong point isn't brains, so he didn't find it unusual at all. After a few minutes, the two emerged from the corner. "Allright Myn, the jig is up!" they both shouted in unison. Ted-chi continued, "What have you done with the real Nym and UST??" Myn growled. This was the moment that he'd been dreading. "So, you two figured it out, did you? You both think you're so clever, eh?" Both Ted-chi and Coderat nodded. They considered themselves quite intelligent for deducing that it must be Myn acting so strangely. Myn just smiled (he does that a lot). "Well, for once I thought my plan through! I have a little present for the both of you..." Myn smiled even wider, as he reached into his trusty garbage bag (which had been stowed somewhere out of sight to be used as a sudden plot device by an author who was too lazy to think up a better hiding spot). He produced a video cassette, with the words "Translated by US Manga" on the case. "Would you like a little anime, my friend?" Ted-chi was suspicious. "How could this possibly hurt me?" Myn just laughed. "It's any Otaku's worst nightmare: HORRIBLY DUBBED ANIME! NOT ONLY ARE THE VOICES DONE BY WHAT SOUNDS LIKE DRUNKEN THREE YEAR-OLDS, BUT THE PLOT HAS BEEN CUT UP AND CENSORED FOR AMERICAN CONSUMPTION! HAHAHA!" Ted-chi was scared. "No! It can't be! My strength is leaving me just from being near it!" he exclaimed, just before he passed out. Coderat wasn't so scared. "Yeah, so what? Anime, no matter how horrible, can't hurt me! I'm just a rat!" "Oh, but I've got something for you, as well," Myn said, again pulling an item from his bag. This time it was a binder, labeled "Top Secret". "How would you like this super collection of codes to try out? My best friend's cousin's neigbhor's gardner's nephew's teacher says they all work!" Coderat was still skeptical. "Codes? Codes are my friends, what could they do to me?!" Myn smiled (so sue me for overuse of a phrase). "Well, these codes are a little, well, special. There's a code in here that will let you get Kefka in your party in Final Fantasy 3. Or to revive Leo. Or how about finding Schala in Chrono Trigger?" Coderat became visibly nervous. "No, no, not those! Keep 'em away from me!!!" But Myn wouldn't let up. "There's the boss code for the SNES version of Street Fighter II. Or the way to bring back Aeris. Wanna see the nude Lara Croft in Tomb Raider? It's in there. Mog in FF Tactics? Just requires you to beat the game with nothing but squires!" Coderat started going into convulsions. "Evil! Aaaagggghhh!!!" he shouted, before he too passed out. Myn just laughed. He went back to his page, and put on the finishing touch: he renamed it to Ten Myn (Nym Net backwards, of course). He opened up Nym's FTP program, and set the page to upload. However, since it was so large, it would take a while to fully put up. "No matter, there's no one left to stop me. I think I'll just dispose of these two (he motioned to Ted and Coderat) while I wait..." he thought, picking up the limp bodies. *** Myn had overlooked one thing (actually two), and this is where our story temporarily breaks from Myn. You see, there was someone else who had been watching the incident by the computer. This person is the first of two things overlooked by Myn. In fact, it wasn't even really a person at all, but Nym's Tamagotchi! He had seen it all, and understood that there was only one other person who could possibly stop Myn's evil scheme (and this is the second thing Myn overlooked): Nym's Mom. The Tamagotchi quickly made his way to Nym's Mom (don't ask me how, I'm not psychic). "Beep beep be-beep-beep!" it beeped. "WHAT!? Nym's been kidnapped?" Nym's Mom asked. "Beep beep beep beep-beep-beep-be-beep!" "By Myn? He got UST, Ted-chi, and Coderat too?" "Beep-be-be-beep!" "And he's taken over Nym Net!? You're right, we have to stop him! But we don't know where he's gone... But I know someone who can find him! YOSHI!" Nym's Mom shouted. The music suddenly changed, and was no longer dark and foreboding, but cute and happy. A flash of cartoony colors heralded in the arrival of Yoshi. "Yoshi, use that nose of yours to sniff out Myn!" Just as Nym's Mom finished giving the command, Yoshi took off. Nym's Mom grabbed the Tamagotchi and ran after him (her? it?). *** Meanwhile, back at Myn's hide-out, he had contained both Coderat and Ted-chi, and was in the middle of mocking Nym. "Mwa ha ha, no one can stop me now! I'm uploading my site over yours as we speak!" Nym hurled the Game Boy at Myn (which he dodged... barely). "If these games weren't here, you'd go down, you ice head! You're nothing more than a wannabe me!" Myn just laughed some more. "Well, the games are there, and there's nothing you, or anybody else can do about it! I'M THE KING OF THE WORLD!" Just then, the door to Myn's hide-out flew down, having given out to a charging Yoshi, followed closely behind by Nym's Mom. "I don't think so, Myn! Nothing beats cute!" she shouted. Suddenly, Yoshi's of all different colors started appearing, attacking Myn. They were joined by other video game characters, like Conker and Pipsy. For a moment Myn was caught off guard, but he then got his wits (what few there were) about him. "Not so fast! There's nothing I can't counter! Watch this!" "RESIDENT EVIL 2," spoke a creepy, deep voice. At that moment, hoardes of Zombies, Lickers, and other evil things started dropping in. A cop with a shotgun started doing horrendous things to a Yoshi, and a woman in red with a crossbow shot Pipsy, shutting her up. But this isn't to say that the Yoshi's weren't doing their share of destruction, they were just doing it in a more cartoony, non-grotesque sort of way. Zombies quickly turned into eggs, and Conker began jumping on heads left and right. Nym had been watching the battle, helpless. It was hard to tell who was going to win, but it looked as if the sides were evenly matched. Thinking of solutions, he realized that some of the games that had been trapping him had vanished. He realized that Myn's power was not total; he couldn't keep up multiple counters at one time. The battle with the cute guys was taking it's toll on Myn, and this was going to be his one chance to do something. The only problem was, everything Nym could do, Myn could counter. Myn wasn't totally drained, and Nym couldn't use his full power. All he needed was something easy to do, and impossible to resist to turn the tide. The answer came to him. "I know! I gotta believe!" The music changed instantly, and very dramatically. "You gotta do what!?" asked a voice. "I gotta believe!" Nym stayed in tune. A flash flashed, and his PaRappa cap appeared on his head. Myn was totally stunned. "NO! NO! NO! What can counter PaRappa!?!? It's too catchy!!!" But Nym was staying with the beat. "You gotta do what!?" "I gotta redeem!" "Sure about that!" "I gotta relieve!" "You gotta do what!?" "I gotta recieve!" "But most important," "I gotta BELIEVE!" Myn was almost speechless. "No! Stop rapping!" However, he let his guard down, and the music imply got louder. As Nym kept singing, everyone in the room became two-dimensional paper cut outs. Feeling his Nym powers returning, Nym began to improvise with the lyrics. "H to the E to the R to the O and here comes your hero HO! here we go!" "N to the Y to the M, Nym is the name, I am what I am!" With that burst of creativity, UST, Coderat, and Ted-chi all came back, fully rejuvinated by the music. "U RAPPIN' COOL!" shouted UST, and sure enough, a meter appeared, which confirmed Nym's cool rappin'. "Whatcha gonna do when they come?" "I gotta redeem!" "Whatcha gonna do when they come?" "I gotta relieve!" "Whatcha gonna do when they come?" "I gotta receive!" "You gotta do what? You gotta do what?" "I gotta BELIEVE!!" The Yoshis felt the music too, and gained the power to quickly (and very non-graphically) destroy the Resident Evil 2 gang. They started moving with the music, singing odd phrases when they felt like it. "O, oh! O, oh! Here comes the dude, and now he's running up and down the street with the juice." "Nym Net's my life, it's like a dice, I can't tell which way it turns till I spice!" Myn seeing his power fading, began shouting. "THAT LINE MAKES NO SENSE! WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!? HOW'S IT LIKE A DICE? WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU SPICE!?!?" In response, Nym suddenly switched songs. "You gotta go, get ya outta here, the 'net no longer has you to fear! Kick, punch, turn and chop Myn, or I will start again!" As he rapped, he followed his own instructions, and beat up Myn. "Now screeeeeeeam!" In response, Myn wailed like a banshee. "I JUST WANNA BE LOVED, IS THAT SO WRONG!?" Seeing that Myn's power was completely gone, Nym was able to stop rapping (though everyone was sad that he did). "Sorry Myn, you don't wanna just be loved, you want to use frames and java. For that you must be punished." Remembering something, Myn smiled (the last time he'd do it for a while). "Well, I still have a trick or two up my sleave! You see, Ten Myn should be just about online! You can't possibly make it back in time to stop it! !(%" Nym's Mom looked confused. "!(% ?? What is !(% ?" Myn screamed. "WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE!? CAN'T YOU TELL A PERFECTLY GOOD SMILELY WHEN YOU SEE ONE?? Aw forget it, the point is there's only one bullet left in that gun, 1 + 2 + 2 + 1!" Now everyone looked confused. "Huh??" they all asked. Myn was embarrassed. "Uh, I mean, um, the point is, I've already got the page uploaded! Mwa, ha, ha, ha!" Nym looked horrified. "Oh no, he's right! Nym Net! Noooo!" "Jumping to conclusions, aren't you Nym?" asked his mother. "Don't you think we were smart enough to turn off the upload before we left??" Myn was dumbstruck. "WHAT!? You mean it hasn't been uploading at all!?" Nym's Mom smiled, and the Tamagotchi beeped. "That's right!" "Yahoo!!" Nym yelled. "Well Myn, I guess this is the end of the line for you... But we need someplace to store you where you won't cause any problems for a good long while..." "I know! I gotta believe! I mean, uh, we could send him to Game Tek, to be put into Robotech: Crystal Dreams! That will never come out!" said Uncle Stove Top, doing his first worthwhile act during the whole story. Nym was pleased with the solution. "Yeah! Allright Myn, looks like R:CD it is!" Ted-chi laughed. "Yeah, and you can go listen to Minmei sing, too!" At the prospect of being in a world with Lynn Minmei, Myn started sobbing. "No, no, anything but that! Please, just kill me instead!" Nym shook his head. "Nope, next stop for you: Macross city!" With those words, Myn dissapeared, with a flash of light that looked just like the effect used in Robotech for folding.... ANNOUNCER: Well, um, I guess that wraps things up, not much for me to say, other than, um, uh... I know! The moral! So kids, the moral of the story is: Never fly off the handle when you're full of bologna. No, wait, that's for something completely different... I know! The moral is: Minmei is evil! See you all later! Ato de!