Armageddon

INT. ARENA – NIGHT

MATCH: Croooooow and Shadow vs. Jamie Noble and Nidia

Jamie Noble’s theme hits and he and Nidia make their way to the ring.

Cole: Mixed tag team action is on the way as Jamie Noble and Nidia make their way down.

Tazz: Noble really needs a win after everything that’s gone on since he lost the Cruiserweight Title.

The PPV Squad theme hits and Croooooow and Shadow make their way to the ring.

Cole: Well, no matter who wins, Croooooow will get his shot at the Cruiserweight Title this Thursday on Smackdown.

Tazz: He actually pinned Noble for his shot, and after this match was announced, the ladies decided to get involved.

The bell rings and Noble and Croooooow lock up. Noble knees Croooooow in the midsection and then applies an armwringer. He wrenches back on it and then segues into a hammerlock. Croooooow elbows Noble in the head and then reverses the hold. Noble grabs a leg with his free hand and Croooooow falls to the mat. Croooooow shoves him into the ropes with his other foot and drops down. He climbs onto Noble’s shoulders on the rebound and executes a victory roll, rolling up Noble for a two count. They get up and Noble ducks a clothesline. Croooooow bounces off the ropes and Noble tries to knee him in the midsection, but Croooooow slides around Noble’s waist and rolls him up for another two count. They get up and Noble clotheslines him. As Croooooow gets to his knees, Noble points to his jaw and dares Croooooow to hit him. Croooooow winds back and Noble moves to block, but Croooooow kicks him instead and rolls him up with an inside cradle for an extremely close two count. They get to their feet and Croooooow clotheslines Noble. Noble tags Nidia, who wants a piece of Croooooow. He tells her to wait while he tags Shadow and turns his back. Nidia grabs him by the hair and puts him in a headlock. Croooooow shoves her into his corner, where Shadow puts a foot on the top rope, knocking down Nidia. She tags in and gives Nidia some forearms. She whips her into the ropes and hits a dropkick. She puts Nidia in a headlock, but Nidia escapes and reverses. Shadow pushes her into the ropes and drops down, hitting a monkey flip on the rebound. She goes for the Interceptor, but Nidia counters with a drop toehold and quickly tags Noble. He grabs her by the hair and brings her to her feet, but the ref says she has to tag Croooooow. Shadow dropkicks Noble’s knee and tags Croooooow. Croooooow ducks a clothesline and kicks the back of the knee, sending Noble down. He misses an elbow drop, and Noble tries a kick, but Croooooow catches his foot and gives him a dragon screw legwhip. He goes for the Carrion Stretch, but Noble grabs the ropes. Croooooow lets up and kicks at the knee. He whips Noble into the ropes and hits a running dropkick, covering for a two count. He picks Noble up, but he rakes the eyes and hits Croooooow with a right hand. He whips him into the ropes and clotheslines him. He picks him up and applies an armwringer. Croooooow reverses it, but Noble reverses it again and charges to the corner.

He jumps to the top rope and drops to the floor, snapping Croooooow’s arm across the top rope. Croooooow holds his shoulder and Noble gets back in the ring, dropping an elbow on the shoulder. He applies a hammerlock and kicks his feet into the air, bringing his knee down on the shoulder. He picks Croooooow up and rams him shoulder first into the top turnbuckle. He gives Croooooow a few knife-edge chops in the corner and then whips him out of the corner. He wrenches down on the arm, somersaulting Croooooow, and drops a leg across the shoulder. He applies a short arm scissors, but Croooooow makes it to the ropes fairly quickly. Noble stomps the shoulder as Croooooow gets to his feet and then lifts him, hitting a shoulder breaker. He covers for a two count. He picks Croooooow up, who tries to fight back with rights but can’t get much momentum behind his injured shoulder. Noble knees him in the midsection and goes for a tiger bomb. Croooooow somersaults across Noble’s back to execute a sunset flip, which gets at two count. Noble rolls through and dropkicks Croooooow to send him back down. He whips him into the corner and charges, but Croooooow lifts him into the air and drops him across the top turnbuckle. He crawls toward his corner, but Nidia comes in and distracts the ref. Croooooow tags Shadow, but the ref doesn’t see the tag and tells her to get back in her corner. Meanwhile, Nidia lifts Croooooow in a front face lock and Noble goes to the second turnbuckle, hitting Croooooow’s shoulder with a double axehandle. He gives Croooooow a scoop slam and goes to the top rope. Croooooow gets up and falls into the ropes, crotching Noble. Croooooow goes to the top rope with him, and they trade punches. Croooooow finally rocks Noble and then hits a flapjack from the top rope. Both men lay motionless for a few moments and then crawl to their corners. They tag Shadow and Nidia, who charge each other. Shadow spears Nidia and hits her with right hands. She executes a snap suplex and then goes to the second rope, hitting a clothesline. She covers for a two count. She whips her into the ropes and goes for the Interceptor, but Nidia ducks and sucker punches Shadow, knocking her down. The ref questions her on her use of the closed fist, but Nidia denies it. She picks up Shadow and gives her a scoop slam, and then bounces off the ropes to hit a legdrop. She covers for a two count. Nidia picks Shadow up and goes for a powerslam, but Shadow escapes and locks in her dragon sleeper. Noble comes in and stomps her to make her release it, and Croooooow comes in to clothesline Noble. Croooooow bounces off the ropes and executes a flying headscissors, which sends Noble rolling to the outside. Croooooow bounces off the ropes and dives onto Noble with a plancha. Meanwhile, Shadow and Nidia trade right hands. Nidia kicks Shadow and whips her into the ropes. Shadow counters with an armwringer, pulls Nidia in and kicks her, delivering a DDT. She covers for a two count. She picks Nidia up but gets her eyes raked. Meanwhile, Croooooow slides back in the ring, but Noble hangs onto his boot. Croooooow grabs Noble when Nunzio suddenly comes out of nowhere with a chair in hand. He cracks Croooooow across the head with it and Noble pulls him outside. Meanwhile, Nidia whips Shadow into the ropes and goes for a clothesline. Shadow ducks and immediately hits the Interceptor, nailing Nidia in the back of the head. She covers, but Noble distracts the ref. Nunzio slides into the ring and yanks Shadow to her feet by the hair. He gives her a fisherman’s buster and then puts Nidia on top of her. He and Noble get out of dodge and the ref turns around to make the three count.

Winners: Jamie Noble and Nidia at 10:06

Cole: Noble and Nidia are the winners, thanks to that man who must be Noble’s cousin Nunzio we’ve heard so much about.

Tazz: That’s a heartbreaker for Croooooow and Shadow. I don’t think they expected Nunzio to finally show up tonight.

Nunzio goes outside and gets the chair while Noble throws Croooooow back in the ring. He stomps on Croooooow, and then Nunzio gives him the Kiss of Death on the chair while Nidia hits Shadow with right hands. However, Cynric, Huh and Cheesecake run down and Noble, Nunzio and Nidia run away.

Cole: The cousins tried to extend the damage they’ve already done, but Cynric, Huh and Cheesecake aren’t going to let that happen!

Huh and Cheesecake help Croooooow to his feet.

INT. ARENA – NIGHT

MATCH: Nykk vs. Rikishi

Rikishi’s theme hits and he makes his way to the ring.

Cole: Here comes the fun-loving Rikishi, but he looks to be all business tonight.

Tazz: He told me earlier today that he has a Stinkface with Nykk’s name on it. Nykk had better be wary of Rikishi’s backside tonight.

Nykk’s theme hits and he makes his way down the ramp with a mic and a thick book (with WWE Rule Book in big letters on the front), along with Huh and Cheesecake, who’s carrying a package.

Cole: Nykk is so nervous about getting a Stinkface that he brought Huh and Cheesecake out here with him. What the hell does Cheesecake have there?

Nykk: Rikishi, I’ve warned you that you didn’t want to mess with me. You will not be giving me a Stinkface tonight, because you underestimated my intelligence. You didn’t think that I would ever go hunting for the WWE Rule Book, did you? Specifically, Chapter 12, Paragraph 2, Article B. (reads) All WWE wrestlers must be properly attired according to their gender. That means all women must be fitted with adequate tops, and men with proper wrestling tights, pants or singlet. And since a thong is obviously not proper wrestling attire, I’ve brought you an early Christmas gift. PANTS!

Huh opens the package and produces a huge pair of sweatpants.

Nykk: And according to this rule book, if you refuse to wear these, you will be disqualified and I will be the winner by forfeit!

Cole: Oh, come on! I don’t even think we have an official rule book, much less a WWE rule book when we’ve only been WWE for seven months.

Tazz: If them’s the rules, Cole, Rikishi will have to wear those pants that Nykk brought. What a smart guy!

He hands the obviously bogus rule book to the ref, who looks it over. He’s not sure it’s the real deal, but Rikishi says that it’s no problem and grabs the pants from Nykk, putting them on.

The bell rings and Nykk attacks Rikishi from behind with a forearm as he’s finished getting dressed. He hits him with right hands and tries whipping him into the corner. He can’t budge Rikishi, who whips Nykk back into his own corner. He hits him with some right hands and then whips him to the opposite corner. Nykk staggers out and Rikishi clotheslines him. He hits him with another right hand and whips him into the ropes. He puts his head down and Nykk tries a sunset flip. Rikishi smacks his ass as he stands over Nykk and Nykk moves out of harm’s way. Nykk yells at Rikishi and then they lock up. Nykk goes behind into a waistlock and tries to lift Rikishi, but can’t. Rikishi elbows him in the side of the head to get him to let go and then scoop slams him. He bounces off the ropes and hits a legdrop, covering for a two count. He whips Nykk into the corner and goes for a reverse avalanche, but Nykk moves and Rikishi hits the turnbuckles. Nykk moves in, but Rikishi sends him down with a thrust kick. He whips Nykk into the ropes, but Nykk reverses and tries a running back elbow. Rikishi ducks and then catches Nykk in a belly-to-belly suplex. He drags Nykk to the corner for a banzai drop, but Nykk crawls away as Rikishi goes to the second rope. Nykk signals to Cheesecake, who reluctantly gets on the apron to distract the ref. Nykk bounces off the ropes, but Rikishi bends over and sticks his ass right in Nykk’s path. Nykk puts on the brakes and backs off, but then gets an idea seeing the ref distracted and gives Rikishi a low blow.

Rikishi goes down just as the ref turns around. Nykk stomps the knee and then drops an elbow on it, grapevining the leg. He gets up and places the leg on the bottom rope, using the rope as a springboard to come down on the knee. Rikishi gets to his feet and Nykk backs him into the corner. He grapevines Rikishi’s leg on the rope and drives his own knee into it. Rikishi hits him with a right hand, but Nykk responds with a chop and then drives his knee into Rikishi’s knee again. He takes the leg and gives Rikishi a dragon screw legwhip out of the corner. He applies a single leg Boston crab. Rikishi slowly crawls toward the ropes and gets there after about twenty seconds. Nykk releases the hold and picks Rikishi up. Rikishi hits him with some right hands and bounces off the ropes, but Nykk dropkicks the knee, staggering Rikishi. He hits a half nelson bulldog and covers Rikishi for a two count. He goes for the Bellbrookville Cedarleaf, but Rikishi grabs the ropes before Nykk can turn him over. Nykk pulls him back to the center of the ring and goes for an Indian deathlock instead, but Rikishi pushes him into the corner with his other foot. Rikishi gets to his feet, limping, but Nykk clotheslines him. Rikishi doesn’t go down, so Nykk bounces off the ropes. Rikishi lifts him into the air and hits a front face neckbreaker on the way down. Both men are on the mat, and the ref starts to count. At six, they make it to their feet. Nykk tries a right hand, but Rikishi blocks it and answers with three of his own. He tries a clothesline, but Nykk ducks and bounces off the ropes. Rikishi lifts him and hits a Samoan drop, covering for a two count. He picks Nykk up and lifts him, going for the Rikishi Driver. Nykk escapes and pushes Rikishi into the corner, rolling him up for a two count. Rikishi kicks out and sends Nykk into the corner. Rikishi gets up and charges, hitting a reverse avalanche. Nykk staggers and then falls into position for a Stinkface. Rikishi plays to the crowd to set it up and moves in. He turns around and pulls down his pants so that his bare ass is showing again. Nykk beckons Huh, and then grabs him, pulling him into the ring over the bottom rope. Rikishi backs up and Nykk sticks Huh’s head into his ass. Nykk lets go and rolls out of the ring as Huh writhes on the mat in disbelief of what just happened. Rikishi turns around and gets a surprised look on his face at seeing Huh and not Nykk. Meanwhile, Nykk runs around the ring and slides back in. He clips Rikishi’s knee from behind, sending him down. Nykk applies the Bellbrookville Cedarleaf and Rikishi taps out.

Winner: Nykk at 7:39

Cole: I can’t believe it. Nykk just put one over on Rikishi and got away without a Stinkface.

Tazz: Yeah, but Huh sure got a mouthful, didn’t he?

Cole: Now what’s he doing?

Cheesecake comes into the ring to console Huh and Nykk pulls him to his feet. Cheesecake gives him Rikishi’s hat and Nykk puts it on his head. He directs them both to the middle of the ring where he mimics Rikishi’s dancing. He tells them to dance, but Huh doesn’t want to. Huh and Cheesecake leave as Nykk orders them back in the ring.

Cole: Nykk’s now mocking Rikishi, but Huh doesn’t want to dance for once.

Tazz: After what just happened, I don’t blame him!

All of a sudden, Rikishi slides back in the ring. He takes off the sweatpants and clotheslines Nykk from behind.

Cole: Uh oh! Rikishi just took off his pants and is going after Nykk!

He gives Nykk another belly-to-belly suplex and then drags him to the corner, putting him in position for a Stinkface. Rikishi plays to the crowd again and hikes his thong up, finally giving Nykk a Stinkface. Rikishi retrieves his hat as his theme plays. Nykk rolls out of the ring and walks off, holding his nose.

Cole: Nykk may have won the match, but Rikishi had the last laugh. He finally gave Nykk a Stinkface, and I can’t say he didn’t deserve it after the way he’s been acting.