10/14/02-10/20/02

INT. ARENA – NIGHT

MATCH: Nykk and Huh vs. William Regal and Test

The PPV Squad’s theme hits and Nykk and Huh make their way to the ring.

JR: I’ll tell you what, it’s good to see Huh alongside the PPV Squad again after being held in captivity these last few weeks.

King: I see that they still have on UnAmerican shirts, though.

The UnAmericans’ theme hits and Test and William Regal make their way to the ring.

JR: Nykk is honoring the demands set by Lance Storm a few weeks back. PPV Squad members must wear UnAmericans shirts during their matches as long as Storm and Christian hold the tag team titles.

King: Yeah, but the other demand may be too much.

JR: Yes, if Nykk loses the Intercontinental Title to Regal at No Mercy, the PPV Squad will disband for six months.

FINISH: Nykk makes the tag to Huh, who comes in with rights and forearms for Regal. He whips him off the ropes and sends him down with a body block. Test comes in, but gets dropkicked. Huh whips Regal into a corner as Test staggers up in the opposite corner. Huh whips Regal into Test and hits a running avalanche on both of them. He tries to execute the Windbreaker on Regal, but Test pulls him off Huh’s shoulders and nails Huh with a forearm. They whip Huh into the ropes, but Huh ducks the double clothesline. At the same time, Nykk slingshots himself onto the top rope from the apron and Huh launches him across the ring to hit a double flying clothesline. The four participants brawl, but Regal manages to get Huh into the Regal Stretch. Nykk tries to save him, but Test intercepts him with a big boot. Huh taps out after a few moments.

Winners: William Regal and Test at 5:29

JR: This tag match didn’t pan out for Nykk and Huh, but they’ll have another day for revenge. Nykk’s day will be this Sunday on pay-per-view. The entire PPV Squad is on the line!

Regal continues to stomp on Huh and then brings him to his feet. Test hits the Test Drive.

JR: Come on! That’s enough.

King: The UnAmericans are making a statement going into No Mercy. I bet Test was seeing Croooooow when he did that, not Huh.

The UnAmericans walk up the ramp and taunt Nykk and Huh. Nykk checks on Huh and then stares at Regal with intense hatred.

INT. PROMO SET – NIGHT

Jonathan Coachman is standing by with Croooooow.

Coach: Croooooow, you just saw your friends Nykk and Huh lose to William Regal and Test. And if Nykk loses at No Mercy, the PPV Squad will have to disband for six months. However, you have your own match at No Mercy, against Test. My question to you is this: are you intimidated at all by your opponent, who is 6’6’’ and weighs 280 lbs.?

Croooooow: You know, that’s an impressive frame. But intimidated? No. I may be much smaller than Test, but I’ve got in my heart to beat him. This Sunday there will be no mind games, no jokes, when we stand across the ring from one another. Without a doubt, I plan to…

Lance Storm walks in and interrupts.

Storm: And you plan to what, Croooooow? Pin Test in the middle of the ring? The only way you’re getting Test on his back is if he’s in the process of hitting you with the Test Drive. As sweet as that will be, I wish that Christian and I had you in the ring again so that we could beat you just like we did at Unforgiven and just like we did last week.

Croooooow: Well, those are some pretty strong words, Lance. How about you back them up? Since I can’t get another match at No Mercy, let’s do it right here tonight. How about you and Christian defend those tag team belts against me and my brother Cynric?

Storm: As much as I’d like to do that, I’m afraid that Christian and I have the night off…

Croooooow: What, you’re backing out? Typical Canadian. How about I add this incentive? Now, if Nykk loses at No Mercy, the PPV Squad disbands for six months, correct? There’s one detail you overlooked. Cynric and I are brothers before PPV Squad members. Technically, you couldn’t force us to separate as long as we didn’t call ourselves the PPV Squad. If you win tonight, Cynric and I will refrain from wrestling as a team as long as you hold the tag titles.

Storm thinks it over.

Storm: All right. It’s a deal. We beat you and your brother and the Pyro Twins in one match, so this should be a piece of cake. Christian and I will see you in the ring. By the way… nice shirt.

He taps Croooooow’s UnAmerican shirt and walks away. Croooooow stares after him.

INT. PPV SQUAD LOCKER ROOM – NIGHT

Trish Stratus is stretching when Shadow comes in.

Trish: Well?

Shadow: I just came from Bischoff’s office. He told me the winner of my match tonight will get a Women’s Title shot at Survivor Series.

Trish: That’s great!

Shadow: You’re not worried that we might face each other for the Women’s Title?

Trish: That’s a possibility, and I won’t hold it against you if you kick the crap out of Molly Holly tonight. Just know that when Survivor Series comes around and I’m wearing this belt, I won’t be holding back. If you want this, you’ll have to earn it the hard way.

Shadow: I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Trish smiles as Nykk walks in.

Nykk: Do you believe that? I can’t believe we just lost to William Regal and his trusty steed!

Trish: All right, calm down.

The door opens and Croooooow comes in.

Nykk: (to Croooooow) Can you believe it? We lost to…

Croooooow: I know! I know, I know, now listen. Don’t let the tag match bother you. Stay focused on beating Regal’s ass on Sunday. I’ve done it enough times in the past, so if you need any inside info, just ask.

Nykk: I may take you up on that.

Croooooow: Anyway, Cynric and I have a shot at the Tag Team Titles, Shadow has a no. 1 contender’s match with Molly Holly tonight. It looks like more gold could be coming our way… sorry, Trish.

Trish: It’s okay.

Nykk: Okay, you and Cynric go out there and you win those tag team straps so freakin’ FINALLY we can take off these stupid shirts!

Croooooow: I’ll drink to that!

He walks out the door and then sticks his head back in.

Croooooow: Not Canadian beer, though.

He exits.

Shadow: My match is next. I’ll see you guys after.

They say goodbye and Shadow leaves. Nykk puts an arm around Trish and watches her go.

Nykk: You know, those were some interesting comments that Victoria made.

Trish: You don’t believe her, do you?

Nykk: I don’t know, there was that time you were cozying up to Vince…

Trish shudders.

Trish: Look, I’ve made my share of mistakes in the past. Though I never tried to end another person’s career.

Nykk: Okay, fair enough. The past is the past. I say you take care of this Victoria problem, and take care of it this Sunday at No Mercy.

Trish: You’re right. I’m going to go challenge her to a match right now. Excuse me.

She leaves Nykk alone in the locker room.

INT. ARENA – NIGHT

MATCH: Shadow vs. Molly Holly

Molly Holly’s theme hits and she makes her way to the ring.

JR: Here comes Molly Holly, who looks confident tonight. The winner of this match will receive a shot at the Women’s Title at Survivor Series.

King: And Molly would love to get her hands on Trish again.

Shadow’s theme hits and she makes her way to the ring.

JR: Molly definitely has the experience factor over Shadow, as Shadow has struggled against her in the past.

King: I don’t think Shadow’s ever had a pin over Molly in a singles match.

FINISH: Shadow makes a comeback and goes for the Interceptor. Molly ducks and kicks her in the midsection. She tries to whip Shadow into the corner, but it’s reversed. Molly crashes front first into the corner and Shadow locks in a dragon sleeper with a body scissors. Molly taps out after a few moments.

Winner: Shadow at 3:56

JR: Shadow has overcome her nemesis Molly Holly and will now receive a title shot at Survivor Series!

King: She finally beat her, JR!

INT. ARENA – NIGHT

MATCH: Croooooow and Cynric vs. Lance Storm and Christian

The PPV Squad theme hits and Croooooow and Cynric make their way to the ring.

JR: This match is for the tag team titles. If Croooooow and Cynric unseat the champions, they can finally stop wearing UnAmerican shirts when they wrestle.

King: And if the UnAmericans win, Croooooow and Cynric can’t team up for the duration of their tag title reign.

The UnAmericans’ theme hits and Lance Storm and Christian make their way to the ring.

JR: All of these demands and stipulations originated with the UnAmericans’ despicable abduction of Huh. They held another human being for ransom, for God’s sake, just to get what they wanted!

King: And it worked like a charm, JR. The key to the PPV Squad’s survival now depends on Nykk at No Mercy.

FINISH: Croooooow and Christian get the hot tags. Croooooow takes out Christian and hits a tiger buster. Storm comes in to break up the cover, and Cynric comes in to duke it out with Lance. Croooooow and Cynric hit a double sidewalk slam on Christian and Croooooow covers, but Christian kicks out. William Regal and Test come down to ringside to distract Croooooow and Cynric, but Nykk, Huh and Cheesecake run out and attack them from behind. As the brawl spills around the ringside area, the ref tries to make everyone else leave. Amidst the chaos, Test gets in the ring while Storm clobbers Croooooow with a leg lariat. He holds him up for Test, who charges for the big boot. However, Croooooow moves and Test hits Storm. Cynric hits Test with a crescent kick and sends him through the ropes. Christian, meanwhile, gets one of the tag belts and prepares to charge Cynric. However, Nykk trips him from the outside and Christian falls face first onto the belt. He gets to one knee, holding his face, and Cynric hits the Lift Off. He puts Croooooow on top of him as the ref turns around and makes the three count.

Winners: Croooooow and Cynric at 6:42

JR: The UnAmericans have been beaten! We have new Tag Team Champions, and they’re the PPV Squad’s brother duo Cynric and Croooooow!

King: Unbelievable, JR! Look at them get those shirts off!

Croooooow and Cynric immediately take their UnAmerican shirts off and get their belts. Nykk, Huh and Cheesecake come into the ring to congratulate them while the UnAmericans sulk up the ramp.

EXT. ARENA – NIGHT

Outside the arena, the entire PPV Squad is gathered around a garbage can.

Nykk: Okay, guys, we’re almost home free. All I have to do is beat Regal at No Mercy and the UnAmericans will know that you don’t mess with the PPV Squad!

The rest of the Squad shout in agreement.

Nykk: In the meantime, I think we all know what we should do right now.

Nykk holds up his UnAmerican shirt and then drops it into the garbage can. The rest of the Squad do the same.

Nykk: Dusty, Jay, if you please.

Jay douses the inside of the can with lighter fluid and Dusty lights a match, dropping it in. The shirts go up in flames and Nykk leads the Squad in a U-S-A! chant.

Heat

INT. PROMO SET – NIGHT

Terri is standing by with the UnAmericans.

Terri: I’m here with the UnAmericans. William Regal, you and Test both have a match tonight, but first, last Monday you Lance Storm, and you Christian, lost the Tag Team Titles to Croooooow and Cynric from the PPV Squad. What went wrong?

Storm: What went wrong? America went wrong, that’s what went wrong. The cheating Americans couldn’t beat us by themselves so they enlisted the help of their friends. Rest assured, when we get our rematch we will reclaim the Tag Team Titles in the name of everyone across the world who hates America.

Christian: The PPV Squad is made up of a bunch of liars, cheaters and chickens. Just like Robert Torricelli, who chickened out of running for Senate, and just like the New Jersey democrats, who blatantly broke the law just so they could steal an election, Croooooow and Cynric cheated and stole our titles. Good will prevail, Coach. We will break the PPV Squad.

Test: Don’t worry, guys. Tonight, I’m going to beat Croooooow within an inch of his life. After I get through with him, it should be easier than ever to get those titles back.

Regal: Tonight will be the night of the UnAmericans, Miss Terri. Not only will I take the Intercontinental Title from that baboon Nykk and restore some dignity to it, but also my victory will banjax the PPV Squad and force them to separate for six months. And maybe finally, they’ll be out of our business once and for all. Nykk, I own you, sunshine. Once I lock in my Regal Stretch, I will have you begging for me to end it all, but tonight, I refuse to end it. I will refuse to let go until you are nothing more than a lifeless pile of flesh.

Terri: There you have it, the UnAmericans are fired up for tonight. And now I’ll send it back to Jonathan Coachman and Lita.