Insurrextion

INT. BACKSTAGE – NIGHT

Croooooow is walking when he encounters Booker T, who is blocking the way.

Croooooow: Excuse me.

Booker: (turns around) What?

Croooooow: Excuse me. I need to get through here.

Booker: (looks down on Croooooow) Oh, I’m sorry. Am I in your way?

Croooooow: Not you. Just your hair. Now if you’ll excuse me…

He tries to get past, but Booker holds him back.

Booker: You didn’t say that. Tell me you did not just say that.

Croooooow: You did not just say that.

Booker: You’re a smartmouth sucka, aren’t you? Do you know that I’m a five time WCW World Champion? I know you’ve got a match tonight, but since you’re such a smartass, how ‘bout we do a little warm-up right here? Now can you dig THAT, sucka?

Croooooow: (pretending to be frightened) Oh no, Booker’s threatening me! What will I ever do? (scoffs) Maybe some other time, Booker.

Booker: Are you mocking me?

Croooooow: Heavens, no.

Booker: If I find out you were mocking me, I’ll tear your throat out and feed it to ya.

Croooooow: Don’t worry, you won’t find out.

Booker: All right then.

Croooooow walks past Booker, and Booker suddenly realizes what Croooooow just said and attacks him from behind. However, the Irish temper overtakes Croooooow and he starts hammering Booker with lefts and rights, ramming his head into nearby debris and sending Booker running. Croooooow picks up his European belt and calmly leaves.

INT. ARENA – NIGHT

MATCH: Croooooow vs. William Regal

William Regal’s theme hits and he makes his way to the ring.

JR: William Regal is on his way to the ring. Appropriately enough, he will be challenging for the European Title right here in his home country.

King: Croooooow sure has his work cut out for him. Regal has the hometown advantage.

JR: I don’t know how all his fellow Englishmen feel about him, but Regal certainly has hears the boos elsewhere in the world.

Regal gets a mic.

Regal: Hello to all my countrymen in jolly old England! It is a very big honor for me to be here amongst you tonight, because unlike those uneducated Americans, and those repulsive Canadians, I know that you English fans have an eye for talent and will treat me with the respect I deserve. Even though most of you at this very moment are most likely drunk, and a little bit impotent, I still respect… well, at least I don’t dislike you. And even though I had to leave England to further my career, because you can’t seem to make a pound in this bloody economy, it’s still good to be here.

JR: Regal just making friends everyplace he goes…

Cynric appears on the ramp with a mic.

Cynric: Ladies and gentlemen, if I may direct your attention away from the ring for a moment, I will now introduce… hailing from MANCHESTER… Ohio… he is your European Champion of Europe… Croooooow!

Croooooow’s theme hits and he makes his way out onto the ramp. Cynric gives him the mic and then walks backstage.

JR: Here comes the champion, who had quite an altercation with Booker T in the back.

King: Yeah, but I guess having an Irish temper pays off.

Croooooow: Wow, Regal… if you make this crowd any more hostile, this could turn into a game of futbol! And Regal, you shouldn’t be talking about anyone getting drunk… I mean, I’m sure you’ve gotten a little ‘pissed’ in the past, but I think you’re the only guy in history to get pissed and then decide to piss on someone else! And as far as half of the males in the crowd being impotent… how exactly do you know that? I know you’re a scholar, but I think you’re taking the term ‘field research’ a little too far! Come on, you’re not fooling anybody… they like the PPV Squad better than they like you. Hell, I’m Irish and they like me better than they like you! And as the European Champion of Europe, I’ll not only consider it an honor to defend it on the continent it was named after, but it will also be an honor to kick your bum in the process!

Croooooow’s theme hits and he charges the ring, discarding the mic and the European belt. He slides in the ring as the bell rings, and Regal starts pounding his back with forearms. He shoves Croooooow into the corner and pounds him with some more stiff forearms. He whips Croooooow to the opposite corner, but it’s reversed. Regal crashes into the turnbuckles and staggers out to receive a clothesline from Croooooow. Croooooow picks him up and shoves him into the corner, giving him some knife-edge chops. He whips Regal to the opposite corner, but it’s reversed. Regal charges but Croooooow tips up to stand behind Regal. Regal puts on the brakes and Croooooow hooks the arms for a tiger suplex, but Regal blocks it by wrapping his foot around Croooooow’s leg. Regal escapes and gets behind Croooooow, pulling his feet out from under him. He goes for the Regal Stretch, but Croooooow escapes and rolls out of the ring. He immediately slides back in and dropkicks Regal’s knee. Regal goes down to one knee, and Croooooow dropkicks the other one, sending Regal face first into the mat. Croooooow tries to apply the Carrion Stretch, but Regal makes it to the ropes. He picks Regal up and whips him into the ropes, hitting a back body drop. Regal gets up to receive a running dropkick.

Croooooow tries another clothesline, but Regal blocks it and executes a half nelson suplex. He covers and gets a two count. He pulls Croooooow to his feet and grabs his hair, jumping up and kneeing him in the face. Croooooow goes down, and Regal stomps on him. He picks him up and applies a wristlock. He pulls Croooooow in and knees him in the midsection, doubling him over. He executes a gutwrench suplex and covers for a two count. He picks Croooooow up and rams him shoulder first into the ring post. He applies a hammerlock and then lifts Croooooow, hitting an armbar suplex. Regal goes for the Regal Stretch again, but Croooooow makes it to the ropes. Regal picks him up and tries a butterfly powerbomb, but Croooooow hits him in the face until Regal falls to his back. Croooooow hits some right hands and then bounces off the ropes, but Regal catches him and applies an abdominal stretch.

After about twenty seconds, Croooooow escapes and hits a hip toss on Regal. He bounces off the ropes and hits a spinning heel kick, knocking Regal down. Regal gets up and gets scoop slammed.

Croooooow goes up top for a guillotine legdrop, but Regal goes to the ropes and crotches Croooooow. Regal climbs to the top and executes an underhook suplex from the top rope. Regal covers and gets a close two count.

He picks Croooooow up and whips him into the ropes, but Croooooow hits a flying headscissors. He gives Regal an armdrag and then a hurricanrana, staying on top for a pin. He gets a two count as Regal hooks his shoulders with his legs and takes him over into a pinning predicament. Croooooow rolls backwards and to his feet. He turns Regal over and applies the Carrion Stretch. After about ten seconds, X-pac comes out and gets on the apron. Croooooow lets go of the hold and nails X-pac with a stiff right hand. X-pac tries to get in the ring, prompting the ref to hold him back. As Croooooow focuses on X-pac, Booker T runs down and hands Regal brass knuckles.

Regal spins Croooooow around and nails him with the knuckles. Croooooow’s head snaps back and he staggers backward, the ropes keeping him on his feet. Regal tosses the knuckles back to Booker and hits the butterfly powerbomb on Croooooow and then pinning his shoulders down with his own hands. The ref turns around and makes the three count.

Winner: William Regal at 6:40

JR: And William Regal is the new European Champion thanks to Booker T and X-pac.

King: We have a new European Champion of Europe!

JR: And now look at Booker and Regal. They’re just so proud of themselves.

When Croooooow comes to, he makes a dive for X-pac, who is leaving. He grabs him by the hair, but Regal and Booker come over and stomp on Croooooow. Booker holds Croooooow up while Regal nails him in the head with the European Title. Booker waits for Regal to prop up Croooooow and then gives him a leaping sidekick. As they start to stomp on him some more, Cynric runs out and into the ring. Regal tries to hit him with the belt, but Cynric ducks and kicks back at Regal’s midsection, doubling him over. He then spins around and lands a roundhouse kick on the back of Regal’s head, sending him to the mat. Booker tries to clothesline him from behind, but Cynric ducks. As Booker turns around, Cynric alternates between kicks to the knee and kicks to the ribs and finishes it off with a standing spinning heel kick, flooring Booker. As the heels exit, Cynric helps up his brother.

JR: It looks like William Regal and Booker T went too far. The martial artist Cynric just kicked their bums out of the Wembley Arena!

King: They can’t treat an Englishman like that in his home country!

JR: Well, nonetheless, there is a new European Champion, but it looks like Regal is far from finished with the PPV Squad, especially with the brothers Croooooow and Cynric.