3/11/02-3/17/02

Raw

INT. ARENA - NIGHT

MATCH: Cynric vs. Edge

Out in the arena, DDP, Val Venis, Al Snow, Maven, the APA, Croooooow, Nykk, Cheesecake, the Pyro Twins and Huh surround the ring.

JR: We're getting ready for our Lumberjack Strap Match, which I believe is the first time that the two matches have been combined. Edge and Cynric will be tied together at the wrist by a leather strap, which is legal to use on your opponent. If one man falls out of the ring, it's the lumberjacks' responsibility to put them back in the ring.

Cynric's theme hits and he comes out with the leather strap.

JR: Here comes Cynric with that leather strap that he used on Edge two weeks ago, as well as on last week's Smackdown.

King: He looks ready tonight, JR.

Edge's theme hits and he makes his way to the ring.

JR: I don't know how much Edge is going to be able to concentrate on tonight's match with Nykk out there.

The match goes about five minutes. After the PPV Squad interferes by beating up Edge on the outside one too many times, Edge's lumberjacks rush them and a brawl ensues. Cynric manages to take Edge down with a neckbreaker and sets up for the Lift Off. However, Val Venis trips him from the outside and as Cynric turns to Val, Edge gets up and Spears him from behind. He covers and gets the three count.

JR: Edge gets a measure of revenge against the PPV Squad by beating Cynric� wait, Nykk's got a chair!

Nykk attacks Edge from behind with the chair as the rest of the lumberjacks brawl to the back and through the crowd.

King: Oh my God!

Nykk jams the chair into the back of Edge's neck and presses down on it.

JR: Come on. Edge is just coming off of a neck injury that could have been career ending.

King: I think Nykk thinks that an Edge with an injured neck is an easier WrestleMania opponent.

Finally, Nykk releases Edge. He picks him up and sets him up for the Aurora Driver.

JR: No. No! He's going for that Aurora Driver! Someone get out here to stop this!

King: He's gonna do it, he's gonna drop Edge on his head!

As he lifts Edge, Val Venis and DDP run out and into the ring. Nykk releases Edge and slides out of the ring. Val stares Nykk up the ramp while DDP checks on Edge.

JR: Thank God. Edge just dodged a bullet there. If he had taken another Aurora Driver, he would be out of wrestling for good. That son of a�

King: Hey, watch it, JR. Nykk's not the kind of guy you want to mess with, and it looks like he's going to be pulling out all the stops come WrestleMania.

INT. ARENA - NIGHT

JR and the King are sitting at the announcing table.

JR: Folks, we've just been informed that due to that brawl between the lumberjacks in the last match, the PPV Squad issued a challenge to Al Snow in the back and it's been accepted. So at WrestleMania, there will be a six-man tag. Cynric, Huh and Goldcake, representing the PPV Squad will take on the team of Al Snow, Maven and Val Venis.

They show a graphic displaying the participants in the match.

King: You have to admit, Snow's team has a bit of a handicap with the rookie Maven on their side� but then again, Cynric has that idiot Huh with him, and who knows what's up with Goldcake.

INT. ARENA - NIGHT

MATCH: The Pyro Twins vs. The APA

The APA's theme hits and Faarooq and Bradshaw make their way to the ring.

JR: Here comes the APA, who have a tag team title match this Sunday at WrestleMania X-8! They'll be in a Fatal Four Way with the Hardy Boyz, the Dudley Boyz and the tag team champs Chuck & Billy.

King: Yeah, they won a big tag team turmoil match last month and they're ready to become four-time tag team champions.

The Pyro Twins' theme hits and Dusty Schneble and Jay Rowe make their way to the ring.

JR: Dusty and Jay, the Pyro Twins. Two very sick and dangerous individuals. Don't let their size fool you, folks. Dusty's no heavyweight, and Jay could go after the cruiserweight title, but these guys have just been causing chaos and destruction ever since they formed this team.

King: They may have some issues with the APA getting the spot in the title match if they can pull of a victory tonight. Hopefully we won't see any flame-throwers or blowtorches either.

The match goes about three minutes. As a brawl erupts between the teams, Faarooq hits his spinebuster on Jay while Dusty brawls with Bradshaw. Chuck & Billy run down, and with the ref tied up with Bradshaw and Dusty, Billy snaps Faarooq's neck across the top rope as Dusty backdrops Bradshaw out of the ring. As Faarooq staggers back, he wanders into Final Darkness. Jay covers and gets the win.

JR: The Pyro Twins win, thanks to Chuck & Billy.

King: Bradshaw looks mad.

Chuck & Billy celebrate on the ramp. When Faarooq wakes up he and Bradshaw chase Chuck & Billy back to the locker room as the Pyro Twins celebrate.

JR: Nonetheless, the APA will be involved in that Fatal Four Way for the tag team titles at WrestleMania, but tonight the Pyro Twins have pulled off a big win.

Smackdown

INT. PROMO SET - NIGHT

Lillian Garcia is standing by with Nykk.

Lillian: Nykk, you could have had a match tonight but instead you declined in favor of this interview. What's on your mind?

Nykk: You know, when the PPV Squad first came to the WWF we went on a mission to improve the quality of the performance of the wrestlers. Here we are, six months later, and it seems that things have actually gotten worse since we got here. I see now that we ran up against some unnecessary distractions during our mission, which may or may not have caused us to fail. Edge was one of those distractions. I had to get him out of the way. That's why I did what I did. And it's a good thing for him that I was stopped on Raw, before I could finish the job� because that's what I plan to do at WrestleMania. In your hometown, Edge, in front of your friends and family, I will leave you bloody and broken. And when I drop you with the Aurora Driver, and you're flat on your back and not moving, and the only thing you can do is look to the top of the Skydome, think about this: if we had been embraced instead of shunned, where would you be, Edge? Where would you be?

He leaves the set.

INT. LOCKER ROOM - NIGHT

Val Venis is sitting on the locker room bench when Goldcake wanders in.

Val: What the hell do you want?

Goldcake: Don't fight it, Val. I know all about you. I know your every mannerism, your every move. You don't want this secret revealed.

Val: You've got about five seconds to get out of here�

Goldcake: It's all a fa�ade, isn't it Val?

Val: Five�

Goldcake: You have never known a woman, have you?

Val: Four�

Goldcake: You joined the other side long ago, haven't you Val?

Val: Three�

Goldcake: As far as the women go, Val, you are a virgin.

Val grabs Goldcake by the collar.

Val: What did you say?

Goldcake: You're a�

Val slugs Goldcake, dropping him to the floor. Goldcake crawls out the door and they brawl out into the hallway. Val beats on Goldcake as he tries to get away. Finally, Goldcake runs out an exit and into the parking lot. Val gives him a hard right and he goes down.

Val: Come on, Goldcake! Why don't you talk about me some more?

Out of nowhere, Cynric runs in and forearms Val from behind. Huh comes in and starts kicking Val in the ribs. Goldcake gets up and lays in a beating too. Cynric picks up Val and rams him into the side of the building. Val goes down and Huh drops a trash can on top of him.

Cynric, Huh and Goldcake celebrate.

Goldcake: See you at WrestleMania, Virgin Val!

INT. ARENA - NIGHT

MATCH: Croooooow and William Regal vs. Rob Van Dam and Diamond Dallas Page

Rob Van Dam's theme hits and RVD makes his way to the ring.

Cole: The road to WrestleMania is down to just three days, and Rob Van Dam will be going for the Intercontinental Championship!

King: Yeah, but I think William Regal will have something to say about that.

DDP's theme hits and he makes his way to the ring.

Cole: Tag team action on the way, as DDP teams up with RVD.

Croooooow's theme hits and he makes his way to the ring.

Cole: Speaking of going for gold, Croooooow will be going for the European Title against Diamond Dallas Page at WrestleMania!

King: Croooooow said he wants to win the PPV Squad some more gold, and he'll get his opportunity this Sunday.

William Regal's theme hits and he makes his way to the ring. The ref stops him to search for brass knuckles.

Cole: Here comes the Intercontinental Champion, who will defend that title against RVD in three days.

The match goes about five minutes. As RVD hits Rolling Thunder and goes for the cover, Croooooow manages to get a foot on the ropes, and Regal pulls out the brass knuckles and gets in the ring. He nails the ref in the back of the head but gets clotheslined by DDP before he can hit RVD. Croooooow dropkicks DDP from the ring, but RVD whips him into the turnbuckles. He tries for a backflip charging shoulderblock, but Croooooow moves and RVD goes shoulder first into the post. Regal runs in with the IC belt and hits DDP in the head. He turns around to receive a spinning heel kick from RVD, who walks right into a Demon Driver from Croooooow. DDP gets up and tries a back suplex, which Croooooow escapes from only to receive a Diamond Cutter. RVD goes to the top rope and hits the Five Star Frog Splash on Croooooow. The ref wakes up and counts the pin.

Cole: Diamond Dallas Page and Rob Van Dam are the winners!

King: Poor Croooooow got pinned by RVD! He is going to be incensed at DDP for that Diamond Cutter when he wakes up!

Croooooow lies unconscious in the ring as RVD and DDP celebrate.

INT. BACKSTAGE - NIGHT

The Pyro Twins are walking down a corridor.

Dusty: I'm telling you, we beat the APA on Raw. We should be in the tag team title match this Sunday and we aren't even on the card.

Jay: These WWF people wouldn't know a good tag team if it burned them on the ass. We should at least be given some kind of match, but instead we're stuck in the back warming the bench�

Albert walks into view.

Albert: Hey, you guys have been whining about not going to WrestleMania all day. I'm getting kind of sick of it. Scotty and me aren't on the card either, and you don't hear us complaining. You guys need to lighten up. It's not the end of the world.

Dusty: The only way we'll lighten up is if it's from the glow of a nice, big bonfire. And, Albert, the reason you're not on the card is because you and Scotty, quite frankly, suck. Now get out of our way before we decide to light you up literally.

Albert: So that's how it's going to be, huh? Well, since we aren't on the WrestleMania card, how about we settle this on Sunday Night Heat? You two against Scotty 2 Hotty and myself.

The Pyro Twins look at each other.

Jay: Sounds good. We're going to enjoy burning you, Albert. On Sunday, we'll make a bonfire out of you while we reduce Scotty 2 Hotty to kindle.

The Pyro Twins leave. Albert looks after them.

Albert: I'm shaking!