3/4/02-3/10/02

Raw

INT. ARENA - NIGHT

MATCH: Croooooow vs. ?????

Croooooow's theme hits and he makes his way to the ring.

JR: Here comes Croooooow, who's not scheduled for a match tonight, but since when has that ever stopped the PPV Squad from doing whatever the hell they want?

King: He is out here alone, though. I wonder what he has to say.

JR: Whatever Nykk told him to say, probably.

Croooooow gets the PPV Squad mic.

Croooooow: Since Nykk and the Pyro Twins are over in Japan with half the WWF roster tonight, I will be your host of Raw! And I promise it will be a fine evening for your entertainment, especially after Huh wins the Hardcore Title from Goldust later on. And I'm feeling especially good tonight, since Diamond Dallas Page granted me a European Title shot at WrestleMania. Now I have nothing against DDP, mind you. We have no heat from the past or any real beef. I just want that shiny gold belt. He's over in Japan also, but rest assured that in Toronto, I will take that European belt and win some more gold for the PPV Squad. I am feeling good tonight, and I'm feeling a bit competitive, so if anyone back there wants to take me on, come on out here and I'll redefine pain for you once I lock in my patented Carrion Stretch!

JR: Croooooow just laid out an open challenge. You would have thought he'd know better by now.

Val Venis's theme hits and Val comes out onto the ramp with a mic.

Val: You know, I bet you're real proud of yourself after what you and your friends did to my brother-in-law Edge last week. Up until that point, I was going to let Nykk interrupting my pre-match ritual slide, but since he's not here for me to kick his ass tonight, I think I'll kick your ass!

Val runs to the ring and the match starts. At around the four-minute mark, Croooooow goes for the Carrion Stretch, but Val reverses into his reverse figure-four submission. Before Croooooow can tap, Cynric runs out and kicks Val in the head, drawing a DQ. As Val gets to one knee, Cynric charges and executes the Lift Off on Val. As he slumps to the mat, Croooooow and Cynric start hammering him.

JR: I guess Croooooow didn't want to lose by pinfall, so he had his older brother Cynric come down and beat up Val.

King: They're doing a number on Val now, JR!

Croooooow locks in the Carrion Stretch, and Val taps. A horde of officials comes down to pull him off as his theme plays.

JR: Val came down to get revenge for what Croooooow, Cynric and Nykk did to his brother-in-law Edge last week, but it looks like he may be going to the hospital himself.

King: Only about half of these PPV Squad guys are here tonight, but they're still as dangerous as ever.

INT. ARENA - NIGHT

MATCH: Huh vs. Goldust

Huh's theme hits and he dances his way to the ring, accompanied by Goldcake.

JR: This match will be for the Hardcore Title, and look at Huh. If he wants to dance so badly, why doesn't he go and find a job at MTV or someplace?

King: Maybe it's part of some vast strategy of his, JR. You never know.

Goldust's theme hits and he makes his way to the ring.

JR: Here comes the current Hardcore Champion Goldust. He won the belt from Maven on Smackdown. After Maven won the match, the Undertaker beat him up and Goldust ambushed him while he was on a stretcher backstage and pinned him to become the Hardcore Champion.

King: I wonder how Goldcake feels that his mentor is on the opposite side of the ring from him. He usually accompanies Goldust to the ring, but tonight he's with his fellow PPV Squad member Huh.

The match goes about three minutes. Huh does go for some minimal offense, but starts dancing every time he gains momentum. Maven finally nails him with a trash can and the Curtain Call to put him down. He covers as Goldcake flies off the top rope, but Goldust moves and Goldcake hits Huh with an elbow drop. Goldust covers and gets the victory.

JR: I guess we won't be seeing any Hardcore Huh, because he just lost to Goldust thanks to that goof Goldcake!

King: But who was he aiming for, JR? Was it an accident?

As Goldust poses with the belt, Maven comes out with his own ref and schoolboys Goldust. Goldcake breaks up the cover as Goldust scurries away with the Hardcore belt. Maven and Goldcake get in each other's faces, and Cynric runs in and attacks Maven from behind. He hits him with a rolling koppo kick, and Huh sits on his chest.

JR: Look at this. Maven's attempt to regain the Hardcore Title has transferred into a beatdown by the PPV Squad.

Al Snow runs down and fights off Cynric and gives the Snow Plow to Goldcake. Cynric gets up, but Maven dropkicks him out of the ring. However, Huh gets up and manages a double clothesline from behind, before continuing to dance. It allows Goldcake to jump on Maven and hammer him with rights while Cynric puts Snow in a dragon sleeper.

JR: What is with Cynric tonight? He's been even fouler ever since Steve Blackman beat the hell out of him, but this is ridiculous!

King: He's laid out Maven and Al Snow, JR! Look!

The Squad poses victoriously while their music plays.

Smackdown

INT. BACKSTAGE - NIGHT

DDP is walking when he encounters Croooooow.

Croooooow: It's he, it's he, it's DDP! How's it going, man? Did you have fun in Asia defending that European Title? You know, I have respect for how hard you worked to get where you are today, so don't worry about WrestleMania. I'll lay down for you� then I'll get up and put you in the Carrion Stretch until I pop every blood vessel in your neck. You see, you see� DDP� we in the PPV have nothing but contempt for old-timers who don't know when their time has passed. And in Toronto, I'll make sure that the European Title will get around the waist of a champion that they'll actually put on Raw or Smackdown.

DDP: Okay, I'll agree with you on one thing, Croooooow. You would make a great champion, but you know what? There's still some fight left in this dog, and at WrestleMania I won't throw you a bone, but I will throw you the BANG! And that's not a bad thing� (big smile) that's a good thing!

He walks away, but Croooooow swings him around and shoves him against the wall. DDP goes for a right hand, but stops himself when Cynric and the Pyro Twins nonchalantly walk in and stand behind Croooooow.

Croooooow: What's the matter? Suddenly don't feel like playing anymore?

The PPV Squad leaves and DDP stares after them.

INT. ARENA - NIGHT

MATCH: Nykk and Croooooow vs. Val Venis and Edge

The PPV Squad theme hits and Nykk and Croooooow make their way to the ring.

Cole: The PPV Squad is going to be taking on two brothers-in-law who have a beef with them, Val Venis and Edge. But Croooooow got into a little bit of a confrontation with his WrestleMania opponent, Diamond Dallas Page, earlier on.

King: I think Croooooow's trying to get in DDP's head by showing him that he has back up while DDP has no one. We may just have a new European Champion next Sunday.

Edge's theme hits and he and Val Venis come to the ring.

Cole: Here comes the team of Val Venis and Edge. Edge has a match against Nykk at WrestleMania, and we may just see a preview of that right here.

The match goes about four minutes. Nykk noticeably avoids Edge during the match, and finally Croooooow and Edge get hot tags. Edge pounds Croooooow and gives him the spinning heel kick. He goes for the Spear, but Croooooow puts the ref in harm's way and the ref goes down instead. Croooooow tries a clothesline, but Edge kicks him and delivers the Edgecution. He covers, but Nykk runs in and hits him with a chair, knocking Edge out. Val and Nykk brawl to the outside, as Croooooow comes to. He goes for the Demon Driver, but DDP runs in through the crowd and pulls Edge off Croooooow's shoulders. He delivers the Diamond Cutter to Croooooow and runs off. As the ref awakens, Edge covers Croooooow for the three count.

Cole: Edge has won the match for his team, perhaps giving him some momentum going into WrestleMania!

King: He won it thanks to DDP. Where did he come from?

Croooooow runs after DDP as Nykk gets Val in the Bellbrookville Cedarleaf in the ring. Edge spears Nykk out of the hold, but Cynric runs down with the leather strap.

Cole: What's going on now?

Cynric whips both Val and Edge with the leather strap, and Nykk continues to stomp on them.

King: This is getting more and more chaotic as time goes by, Michael!

Finally, the PPV Squad theme plays and Nykk and Cynric make an exit.

INT. PROMO SET - NIGHT

Lillian Garcia is standing by with Edge, who is holding his back in pain.

Lillian: Edge, I understand you have something to say to Cynric.

Edge: Yeah. Cynric, this is the second time you've attacked me with that leather strap, so how about we settle this on Monday in a Leather Strap Match? On top of that, let's make it a Lumberjack Match too. You bring all your PPV Squad friends, and I'll bring everyone who's a PPV Squad foe. I'll be damned if I'm going to let you force me to walk into WrestleMania injured.

He leaves the set.

INT. APA OFFICE - NIGHT

Faarooq and Bradshaw are playing cards and smoking cigars.

Bradshaw: Man, we lost our tag team title shot at WrestleMania. You think we should be training right now or something?

Faarooq: Naw, man, just have another beer. We have to celebrate after extinguishing those Pyro Twins last week.

Bradshaw: You're right.

Some kind of slimy substance drops from the ceiling and lands in the middle of the APA's table.

Bradshaw: What the hell?

The slimy substance drops again, except this time it's on fire. The APA's table ignites and Faarooq and Bradshaw back away.

Faarooq: Let's get out of here, man! Go out the damn door!

They go for the door, but it's also on fire.

Bradshaw: Forget the damn door, let's get out of here!

They hurry away and the camera pans over to catch the Pyro Twins standing behind the flaming table.

Dusty: I love the smell of napalm in the evening, don't you?

He and Jay look at each other and laugh.

INT. ARENA - NIGHT

MATCH: Goldcake vs. Maven

Maven's theme hits and he makes his way to the ring by himself.

Cole: I don't know how wise this is, King. Maven is out here without any back up from his mentor Al Snow.

King: I don't know what he's thinking, but apparently he told Al he wanted to do this on his own.

Goldust's theme hits, and Goldcake makes his way to the ring.

Cole: Look at this guy. How pathetic is it that he's copying Goldust's gimmick in order to empower himself?

King: Whatever he's doing it seems to be working. He has been a more important PPV Squad member to Nykk over the past week or so.

Cole: His loyalty has also been questionable when it comes to his "mentor" Goldust. Goldcake has been accompanying Goldust to ringside, but on Monday he cost Huh his shot at the Hardcore Title in suspicious fashion. Did he mean to hit Huh with that elbow, or was it an accident?

The match goes about three minutes. Goldcake generally dominates, but Maven gets in a few offensive moves, including his dropkick. However, Goldcake moves out of the way of a second and then executes the Screw Driver for the pinfall.

Cole: There you have it. Goldcake with the win.

Al Snow comes out to help Maven to the back. Goldcake gets in his face for getting involved, but Al resists fighting and helps Maven.

Cole: Look at Goldcake, saying how dare Al Snow come out and get in his ring. Look at him prodding Al with his foot.

Finally, Al sends Goldcake down with three right hands and goes back to helping Maven. Goldcake attacks Al Snow, kneeing him in the back of the head and then DDTing him. He picks up Al and delivers the Screw Driver.

Cole: Look at this. How low can he go to attack a man from behind who was just trying to help his pupil?

King: Snow did come out here, Michael. He was putting himself in harm's way.

Goldcake poses while his music plays.

Jakked

MATCH: Goldcake vs. Scotty 2 Hotty

Goldcake wins with the Screw Driver.

Heat

MATCH: Huh vs. The Hurricane

Huh loses his second match to the Hurricane after Hurricane hits the Eye of the Hurricane.