2/4/02-2/10/02

Raw

INT. ARENA – NIGHT

The PPV Squad theme hits and Nykk and Croooooow make their way to ringside.

JR: Well, the PPV Squad have had a busy week, King. Last week on Monday, they just barely got by the challenge of the Big Show and Kane. Then on Thursday, Tajiri and Jerry Lynn finally got their chance at the WWF Tag Team Titles, still the Squad managed to hold on to the belts.

King: These guys remind me of spider monkeys, JR. They just somehow keep managing to hang on, in this case to the tag team titles.

Nykk produces the PPV Squad mic.

Nykk: There are a lot of things happening in the World Wrestling Federation right now. It seems like nobody is taking notice of what we’ve accomplished. Triple H this, nWo that. What about us? I thought about it for awhile, and I think I came up with the answer. You know, the WWF tag team division used to be one of the most exciting divisions in the wrestling world. Way back in the 80s, teams like the Hart Foundation and the British Bulldogs put on classic matches that people still talk about. The Rockers revolutionized tag team wrestling. We’ve seen classic battles involving tables, ladders and chairs. What ever happened to that division?

JR: Yeah, look at its champions.

Nykk: We’ve been champions for about two months now, and what teams have we beaten? Guys like Scotty 2 Hotty and Albert, or bozos like Jerry Lynn and Tajiri. To use an old cliché, where’s the competition?

JR: As I recall, everyone they’ve faced from the APA to Lynn and Tajiri almost had them beaten.

Nykk: So when I thought about this, I realized something. It’s not that there’s no competition. It’s just that we’re so much better than everyone else! I think, and I don’t think it’s exaggeration when I say this, that we’re just one of the greatest tag teams of all time!

JR: Oh, bull.

Nykk: Croooooow, take it home!

He hands the mic to Croooooow.

Croooooow: So this is Las Vegas, Nevada… the Windy City! Seeing as how we’re one of the greatest tag teams of all time, and Las Vegas is known for gambling, we thought we’d come out here and take a chance. We have an open contract for a tag team title match at No Way Out. If any team back there wants their shot at our tag team gold, come on out here and we’ll gladly take you on in two weeks.

King: An open challenge, JR!

JR: Who’s it gonna be? I’m sure Jerry Lynn and Tajiri would love another shot at the tag team gold, or maybe Scotty and Albert want to give it a go.

After a few moments, the Hardy Boyz’ theme hits and the Hardys and Lita walk out on the stage. Nykk and Croooooow are having a conniption in the ring.

JR: The Hardy Boyz! They’re back, and together!

King: Oh my gosh, and Lita’s with them too!

Nykk: Wait a minute! No! Absolutely not! You aren’t even a team anymore! You think you can just come out here and challenge the greatest tag team champions of all time like this!? I banish you! Get off that stage! Off!

Matt Hardy gets a mic.

Matt: In case you’ve forgotten who we are, we are Matt and Jeff, the Hardy Boyz! And one of the GREATEST tag teams in WWF history! Jeff, Lita and I have been having some problems lately, but all differences have been resolved and Team X-treme is back together! So at No Way Out, the Hardy Boyz will have their shot at your tag team titles, and we’ll see if arrogance can break blood.

The Hardyz’ theme plays again as they pose on the stage. Nykk and Croooooow are throwing a fit in the ring.

JR: So at No Way Out, it will be The Hardy Boyz challenging Nykk and Croooooow for the tag team titles! If anyone can beat them, it’s these guys.

King: This is exciting! Let’s not forget that Triple Threat Match where they won the tag team titles involved the Hardy Boyz.

JR: That’s right. Can the Hardys return the favor?

INT. LOCKER ROOM – NIGHT

Chuck & Billy are getting ready for their match when Cheesecake wanders in.

Cheesecake: Hey, guy’th.

Chuck: Hey!

Billy: Hey Cheesecake, how’s it coming?

Cheesecake: What?

Billy: How’s it going, sorry. Sometimes I can’t tell whether I’m coming or going.

Cheesecake: Well, it’th GOING bad. I mean, I lo’th’t my favorite cape on Th’mackdown to the Hurricane. But anyway, I ju’th’t came to let you know that I know you have a match tonight against Du’th’ty and Jay, two friends of mine. It wa’th a hard deci’th’ion, but in the end, I had to choo’th th’ides… and I cho’th you guy’th.

Chuck: Uh… well, that’s nice of you, but Billy and I have been talking and this just isn’t working out.

Billy: Yeah, sorry Cheesecake. But good luck… with everything.

They exit the locker room.

Cheesecake: You’re dumping me!?

INT. ARENA – NIGHT

MATCH: The Pyro Twins vs. Chuck & Billy

Chuck & Billy’s theme hits and they make their way to the ring.

JR: I don’t know what that was all about earlier in the locker room, but it appears that Chuck & Billy no longer require the “services” of Cheesecake.

King: That’s terrible, I mean first Cheesecake loses his cape, then his friends!

JR: It was the Hurricane’s cape, I’ll have you know. Cheesecake’s nothing more than a common thief.

King: According to him, he’s a supervillain.

The Pyro Twins’ theme hits and Jay and Dusty march to the ring with a pissed off look on their faces.

JR: Here come the opponents, these “Pyro Twins.”

King: They do not look happy.

JR: They were suspended for two weeks after lighting Kane’s mask on fire, but they’re back now and look ready.

The Pyro Twins roll into the ring and attack Chuck & Billy. The match lasts about a minute, consisting of Dusty and Jay beating the ever-loving piss out of Chuck & Billy. After they execute the Mandate of Heaven on Billy, Chuck comes in to make the save. However, he gets whipped front-first into the corner. As he backs out, Dusty and Jay stop him in his tracks and level him with Final Darkness (Total Elimination). Dusty covers and gets the three count.

JR: Wow, the Pyro Twins didn’t come to fool around.

King: You’re darn right, they just beat the crap out of Chuck & Billy!

JR: And it looks like they’re not done.

Jay throws a chair into the ring as Dusty yanks the steps off the corner and slides them in. Billy starts to get up, but Jay sends him down with a chair shot to the head. He continues to repeatedly hit Billy’s front side with the chair until he turns over, and Jay continues to beat him across the back with the chair. As Chuck gets up, Dusty runs at him and clips the knee. Jay throws the chair down and picks up Chuck. He whips him to Dusty, who picks up the steps and hits Chuck in the head with them. Jay takes a hold of one side of the steps and they slam the steps down on top of Chuck’s prone body.

JR: Oh my God, they’ve just decimated Chuck & Billy!

Dusty gets a mic.

Dusty: Normally we would burn these guys just like we burn everybody else! And a couple of weeks ago, Kane, we showed you that personally. However, it got us suspended by the fire-haters of the World Wrestling Federation, including you. Well, we like fire. So if you have a problem with that, Kane… you can take it up with me personally at No Way Out!

The Pyro Twins’ theme plays and they exit.

JR: “The Devil Himself” Dusty Schneble just issued a challenge to Kane at No Way Out.

King: This feud keeps getting hotter and hotter… no pun intended.

Smackdown

INT. PARKING GARAGE – NIGHT

The PPV Squad station wagon pulls up, and Nykk, Croooooow, Cynric, Huh and Cheesecake get out. Cheesecake looks a bit depressed.

Nykk: It’s going to be a fine night, tonight. Not only do me and Croooooow have the night off, but I’ve figured out how we’re going to get out of our match at No Way Out.

Croooooow: How?

Nykk: Our open contract… we still possess it. As long as the Hardys don’t sign it, they won’t get their match. I figure that Huh and Cheesecake should be able to take them out tonight. The last thing they’ll be thinking about is contracts, right? Right, guys?

Huh: Huh?

Cheesecake: I don’t know, man. Can’t you get Jay and Du’th’ty to do it?

Nykk: Jay and Dusty aren’t here tonight. Come on guys, what do you say?

Huh: Huh?

Cheesecake: I guess.

Nykk: That’s the spirit! Go.

Cheesecake and Huh walk off camera.

Nykk: Cynric, we have a special job for you. Even though we beat his ass last week, Jerry Lynn is still poking around our business looking for title shots. We need you to take him out.

Cynric: Consider it done.

Cynric walks off camera.

Croooooow: So what do we do?

Nykk takes the contract out of his pocket.

Nykk: We find a way to destroy this.

Croooooow: Dangan.

They walk off camera.

INT. ARENA – NIGHT

MATCH: Cynric vs. Jerry Lynn

Cynric’s theme hits and he comes out, whipping up a martial arts display.

Cole: On his way to the ring is Cynric, the Chief Assassin of the PPV Squad. And he’s certainly playing that role tonight.

King: Absolutely. Nykk told him to take out Jerry Lynn.

Jerry Lynn’s theme hits and he makes his way to the ring.

Cole: Jerry Lynn has to be a bit disappointed at not winning the tag team titles one week ago. And now the slot of challenger seems to have been filled by the Hardy Boyz.

King: Not if Nykk and Croooooow have anything to say about it. Jerry Lynn may yet get another opportunity.

The match goes about four minutes. Jerry Lynn whips Cynric into the turnbuckles and charges. Cynric pulls the ref into the corner as he dodges, and Lynn clotheslines the ref in the corner. Cynric runs back to the corner and vaults backwards off the second rope, hitting a jump kick that sends Lynn down. As he sets up for his big knee, Steve Blackman runs in with his sticks. Cynric sees him and charges, trying a spinning heel kick, but Blackman moves aside and hits Cynric’s leg with one of the sticks. As Cynric gets to his feet, Blackman hits him with his sticks combo, finally putting Cynric down to the mat. Blackman exits as the ref and Jerry Lynn wake up. Lynn waits for Cynric to get up and then hits his Swinging DDT for the pinfall.

Cole: So much for Cynric taking out Jerry Lynn. He didn’t count on Steve Blackman and his sticks.

King: It looks like Blackman is not going to let his loss to Cynric lie.

INT. PROMO SET – NIGHT

Lillian Garcia is standing by with Cynric, who is pacing back and forth.

Lillian: Cynric, you seem angry that…

Cynric: You know what, Blackman? I seems that every match I’ve lost since the Royal Rumble I’ve lost because of you and those damn weapons! I’m not going to beat around the bush with you, Blackman. I’m challenging you to a Modern Day Melee at No Way Out. That’s a match in which martial arts weapons are legal. If you’re any kind of a man, you’ll accept and face me…

Steve Blackman flies in out of nowhere, pounding on Cynric, who takes off.

Blackman: I accept!

He walks off the set, leaving a terrified Lillian Garcia.

INT. LOCKER ROOM – NIGHT

Nykk and Croooooow are sitting on the bench, with Nykk looking down at the contract.

Nykk: You got a lighter? Maybe we could burn it.

Croooooow: No. Where are Jay and Dusty when you need them?

Nykk: I could just rip it up.

Croooooow: It’s a legal document. You could get in big trouble for that. It has to look like an accident.

Nykk: How are we going to make it look like an accident with these damn cameras following us everywhere?

Croooooow: Hold on, I have an idea.

He takes the contract and nonchalantly slips it into a nearby open locker, and slams it shut.

Croooooow: Oops, I seem to have lost our contract. It looks like the Hardys won’t get their match after all.

Nykk: Dangan.

They happily walk out of the locker room, with Nykk laughing. A few moments later, the Hardys and Lita walk into the locker room.

Lita: Come on guys, we have to get ready for our match. It’s next!

Jeff throws down his duffel bag and opens the locker with the contract in it. He hangs his coat inside and then looks down.

Jeff: What’s this?

He picks up the contract and shows it to Lita and Matt. They take a curious look at it.

INT. ARENA – NIGHT

MATCH: Cheesecake and Huh vs. The Hardy Boyz

The PPV Squad theme hits and Huh and Cheesecake make their way to the ring. Huh dances his way down the ramp, while trying to encourage Cheesecake to do it, but Cheesecake still looks depressed.

Cole: Here comes the other part of Nykk’s plan right now. They’re supposed to take out the Hardys, but I don’t know how they’re going to do that when Huh looks like he’d rather be at a club down the street.

King: He’s just having fun, Michael.

Cole: Cheesecake looks a little depressed, doesn’t he?

King: Well, he DID lose his favorite cape and was dumped by Chuck & Billy on Raw. I would be too.

The Hardy Boyz’ theme hits and Matt, Jeff and Lita make their way to the ring.

Cole: This place has come unglued for Team X-treme! This is their first match back.

King: Look at Lita! Wow! The Hardys look to be in great condition too.

The match goes about three minutes. Huh executes the Windbreaker on Jeff and dances instead of going for the cover. Cheesecake tries to come in to tell him to cover, but the ref keeps him at bay. Lita then comes off the top rope with a hurricanrana on Huh. Matt comes in and kicks Huh in the midsection, delivering the Twist of Fate (with Huh dancing even as he’s being set up for it). Jeff, meanwhile, has woken up and hits the Swanton Bomb on Huh. The ref turns around and Jeff pins Huh.

Cole: The Hardys have won their comeback match!

King: And they’re looking towards those tag team titles.

The PPV Squad theme hits and Nykk and Croooooow come out on the stage. Nykk has the PPV Squad mic.

Nykk: Very nice, Hardys. Very nice indeed. However, we regret to inform you that we have lost our open contract. Therefore, we are afraid that we must back out of our match at No Way Out, seeing as how you are unable to sign and give the shot to a far more worthy team, like say… Crash and Funaki. Sorry.

Matt jumps out to ringside and grabs a pen and a mic from the timekeeper’s table. He jumps in the ring as Jeff takes the contract out of his pocket.

Matt: Well, you guys may have “lost” the contract, but guess what? We found it. Jeff, do you want to sign first?

Jeff tries to sign it, using the ropes as a backboard but can’t do it. He notices Huh staggering to his feet and uses his shoulders as a backboard and signs. Matt grabs the pen and he signs as Nykk and Croooooow look dismayed.

Jeff: And seeing as how you guys seem to lose things, why don’t we help you find our fists!

Matt hands the contract to Lita and he and Jeff jump out of the ring and dash at Nykk and Croooooow. A brawl erupts between the four, with Lita looking on. The brawl moves to the backstage area as Huh finally gets to his feet. Cheesecake tells him it’s time to leave, but Huh shakes his head.

Cole: The Hardys signed the contract, so at No Way Out, it will be…

King: What is Huh doing?

Huh signals for his music to be played. He badly dances up a storm, and encourages Cheesecake to join in. After a few tries, Cheesecake finally relents and starts doing some exotic dancing. Huh stops dancing all of a sudden, looking disgusted. He shakes his head sadly and leaves the ring. Cheesecake asks him what’s wrong.

Cole: I guess Huh didn’t care too much for Cheesecake’s dancing talent. Anyway, It’s official now. For the tag team titles at No Way Out, it will be Nykk and Croooooow vs. The Hardy Boyz!

Jakked

MATCH: Cheesecake and Cynric vs. Two Locals

The PPV Squad wins the match after Cheesecake executes the Screw Driver.

Heat

MATCH: The Pyro Twins vs. The Big Show

The Pyro Twins take out Big Show in a handicapped match, ending the match with Final Darkness. They take turns hitting him with chairs after the match is over, having to be pulled off by an army of officials.