Royal Rumble

INT. ARENA – NIGHT

Cynric’s theme hits and Cynric makes his way to the ring.

JR: The Royal Rumble is just a few matches away, folks, but right now we’re going to see two of the Federation’s best martial artists go at it. This is the match that’s been dubbed Crouching Cynric, Hidden Blackman!

King: This is going to be good, JR. Steve Blackman claims that Cynric uses the martial arts in a dishonorable way, and Cynric thinks that he’ll elevate himself by kicking the crap out of Blackman.

JR: I think the guy’s a copycat, personally. He should get his own personality. He’s even using Blackman’s old music, for godsakes.

King: Wait a minute, JR, there’s more than enough room for two martial artists here. You may not agree with his methods, but they do get him wins.

JR: He is a member of the PPV Squad, the rest of which we’ll see later in the Rumble. They’re certainly not above cheating or other cowardly acts to get what they want.

Cynric does a few martial arts kicks in the ring. He stops when Steve Blackman’s theme hits and Steve Blackman makes his way to the ring.

JR: Here he comes, the Lethal Weapon! He’s coming to humble Cynric.

King: Here we go, look out!

Blackman dives into the ring, but Cynric exits. The bell finally rings, and Cynric keeps teasing getting into the ring but backs away at the last minute. After doing it twice, he walks toward the back like he’s going to leave. Blackman gets out of the ring and runs after him, clotheslining him from behind. He sets Cynric up against the guardrail and starts giving him some quick punches to the midsection. Cynric stumbles toward the ring holding his stomach, with Blackman following.

They both roll into the ring and Cynric pokes the eye of Blackman, and lays in a roundhouse kick to the midsection. He backs him into the corner and gives him some knife-edge chops, but Blackman grabs him by the throat and throws him into the corner to give some chops of his own.

He whips Cynric to the opposite corner. Cynric tips up out of the corner and catches Blackman in a headscissors. He tries to take him over with it, but Blackman drops down and drops Cynric face first to the mat. As Cynric gets up, Blackman lands some more quick shots and kicks. Cynric ducks a high roundhouse kick, but Blackman reverses his foot in mid-air to hit a reverse roundhouse. Cynric goes down and Blackman covers for a two count. He backs Cynric into the ropes and whips him to the opposite side. Cynric reverses, and Blackman ducks a clothesline and sweeps Cynric’s legs. He hits a back suplex and then goes for a powerbomb.

Cynric won’t let himself be picked up, and gets a double leg takedown on Blackman. He drops a leg into Blackman’s abdomen and gets to his feet. He picks Blackman up and shoves him in the corner, where he unleashes some quick martial arts kicks. He whips Blackman to the opposite corner, but Blackman reverses.

Cynric tips up again, but Blackman doesn’t move in and Cynric lands on his feet with Blackman directly behind him. Blackman executes a release German suplex, planting Cynric. He picks him up and whips him into the ropes, going for the Lethal Kick. Cynric holds onto the ropes and slides out of the ring. He gets on the apron to jaw with Blackman and then spits at him. Blackman rushes at him in a rage, grabbing him by the hair.

Cynric drops to the floor, snapping Blackman’s throat across the top rope. Cynric slides back in the ring and circles Blackman mockingly, tapping him with his foot. He then moves in and chops Blackman continuously. He picks Blackman up and executes a vertical suplex. He covers for a two count. He applies a sharpshooter to Blackman. Blackman tries to move toward the ropes. After about twenty seconds, he makes it to the ropes. Cynric lets go and drops an elbow on Blackman’s neck. He picks him up and gives him a DDT, covering for a two count. He applies a one-handed armwringer to Blackman and kicks him several times in the midsection, doubling him over. He swings his kicking foot over their arms and then kicks up into Blackman’s face. Blackman appears to be nearly out, and Cynric sets up for his big knee to the face. As Blackman staggers to one knee, Cynric charges and steps off of Blackman’s raised knee.

However, Blackman dodges to one side, throwing Cynric off his knee to crash to the mat. Blackman staggers to his feet, and Cynric moves back in to hit him, but Cynric blocks his punches and hits some rights of his own.

He whips Cynric into the ropes, but Cynric ducks the clothesline and hits the Lethal Kick on Blackman, knocking him cold. Cynric celebrates and then goes up to the top rope. Blackman suddenly kips up and goes over to punch Cynric in the midsection. He beels him off the top rope to the mat. Cynric gets to his feet and Blackman hits the Lethal Kick.

However, Croooooow suddenly runs out and gets on the apron. Blackman goes over and punches him, sending him to the floor. The ref gets out of the ring to make Croooooow go away. Meanwhile, Cynric rolls out the opposite side and goes under the ring. He comes out with a bo in hand, and gets in the ring. Blackman turns his attention away from Croooooow to receive a hit to the midsection. Cynric hits him with the bo one time after another. He goes for a headshot, and Blackman blocks, only to get hit in the ribs. Blackman clutches his rib cage and doubles over as Cynric goes to one knee, using the bo to hit Blackman in the face. Blackman goes upright and Cynric sweeps the feet with the bo. Blackman lands hard and Cynric throws the bo aside to make the cover. The ref turns around and Cynric gets the three count.

Winner: Cynric at 7:02

JR: How about that? A PPV Squad member couldn’t win a one on one match without cheating. He used that… that… staff on Blackman to get the three count.

King: He is a martial artist, JR, and that is a martial arts weapon. Seems fair to me.

JR: That wasn’t in the rules, King! I get the feeling we haven’t seen the last of these two…

Cynric leaves while the ref tends to the semi-conscious Blackman.

INT. ARENA – NIGHT

MATCH: The Royal Rumble

Howard Finkel announces that it’s now time for the Royal Rumble and explains the rules.

JR: Here we go, King! It’s the Royal Rumble! Every man for himself!

King: And we’re about to find out who number one is right now!

Tajiri’s theme hits and he makes his way to the ring, with Torrie Wilson.

King: Hey! It’s Torrie!

JR: No, it’s Tajiri. He certainly has quite an uphill battle to fight. He’ll have to last in this ring for an hour if he hopes to win this thing.

King: Here comes no. 2, JR.

X-pac’s theme hits and he makes his way to the ring.

King: How about that? X-pac’s back!

JR: X-pac has been out of action as of late with an injury, and he’s made his return to the Royal Rumble tonight with a very unlucky draw.

When X-pac reaches the ring, the bell rings. They start out with some right hands, and X-pac whips Tajiri into the ropes. Tajiri somersaults and bounces off, hitting the reverse elbow. He misses a crescent kick and X-pac catches his leg and delivers a clothesline. He gets on Tajiri and hits him with some rights and goes for the X-Factor. Tajiri avoids it and whips X-pac into the ropes. He drops down and leapfrogs X-pac only to be caught in a powerbomb. X-pac tries to throw Tajiri out but he holds on and stands on the apron. X-pac tries a right hand and Tajiri blocks it. He thrusts his shoulder into X-pac’s midsection and slingshots over the ropes and somersaults across X-pac’s back to stand behind him. As he turns, Tajiri kicks him in the head to send him over the top rope to the floor. Tajiri celebrates, but about twenty seconds later, the next participant makes his way out.

Lance Storm’s theme hits and he makes his way out. He and Tajiri lock up and Storm rakes the eyes. He whips Tajiri into the ropes, but it’s reversed and Tajiri kicks Storm in the mouth, sending him down. Storm backs into a corner with Tajiri following. Storm pulls him inward so his head smashes against the second turnbuckle and goes to work on the back. He puts Tajiri in the tree of woe and kicks at him until he falls out of the position. He tries a back suplex, but Tajiri flips out and kicks Storm in the knee. Storm goes down, and then turns around to receive Tajiri’s kick to the head. Tajiri picks up Storm’s limp body and tries to throw him out, but Storm just barely hangs on. Tajiri waits until Storm is upright on the apron and then spits the green mist in his face. Storm holds his eyes and drops to the floor. Tajiri celebrates again until the buzzer sounds.

William Regal’s theme hits and Tajiri eagerly awaits his former mentor. Regal takes his sweet time getting into the ring. Tajiri tries to kick Regal, but he blocks the kick and backs Tajiri into the corner with some forearms. He whips him to the opposite corner, but Tajiri reverses and Regal crashes into the turnbuckles. He staggers out to eat a spinning heel kick from Tajiri. Tajiri misses his finishing kick, and Regal trips him and tries to apply the Regal Stretch. Tajiri wiggles free and circles Regal. They lock up with Regal getting the armwringer, but Tajiri reverses it and gives Regal a thrust kick to the face. He bounces off the ropes and delivers a flying forearm. Tajiri fakes a roundhouse kick. When Regal tries to block it, Tajiri kicks him in the ribs and then kicks him in the head. Regal staggers against the ropes and Tajiri tries to get him over the top. While he’s doing this, it’s time for the next participant.

Goldust’s theme plays and he walks to the ring. He tries a clothesline but Tajiri ducks, and sweeps the leg. Regal moves in and forearms Tajiri. He holds Tajiri for Goldust, who kicks him in the midsection and lays in some right hands. Regal throws Tajiri to the mat, but Goldust suddenly attacks Regal. He whips him into the corner, and then hits him with a reverse elbow. He applies an armbar to Tajiri, but Regal comes over and attacks him. He rams Goldust’s head into the turnbuckle. Goldust blocks a right hand and throws Regal into the corner, where he gives him some knife-edge chops. Tajiri gets up and staggers against the ropes. Goldust runs at him and tries a clothesline, but Tajiri back body drops him over the top rope and to the floor just as the clock counts down.

Dusty’s theme hits and the Devil Himself walks to the ring with an evil look in his eye. He has his flame-thrower with him and Tajiri and Regal both look concerned. Dusty gets on the turnbuckles and lets a flame fly into the air, causing Tajiri and Regal to back up. The refs finally take the flame-thrower from him and he gets in the ring. Tajiri and Regal both attack at once and try to get Dusty over the top rope. He doesn’t go and fights his way out of their grasp. He gives Tajiri a hard smack and kicks Regal in the midsection to set up for a DDT. He ducks a kick from Tajiri and tackles him, hitting him with right hands. Regal pulls Dusty off of Tajiri and goes for the Butterfly Powerbomb. Dusty drops to a knee and refuses to be picked up. Regal knees him in the face, causing Dusty to drop to both knees. Tajiri bounces off the ropes and plants both feet in the face of the Hamster. Tajiri goes to pick Dusty up, but Regal grabs Tajiri and tries to force him over the top rope. Tajiri refuses to go and kicks at Regal’s knee. Dusty gets up and hits Tajiri from behind, helping Regal double team him.

It’s time for the next participant as Val Venis’s theme hits. Val runs in and attacks Regal, backing him into the corner. He whips him to the opposite side and gives him a back body drop. Dusty forearms him in the back of the head, however. As he turns around, Dusty kicks him and delivers a vertical suplex. Nothing of note happens for awhile, as the four participants just brawl with each other.

The Undertaker is the next participant, and he goes after Tajiri, trying to throw him out. Dusty helps him, and they manage to get him out, but he slides back in under the bottom rope. Dusty works on Tajiri while Undertaker helps Regal. He sneaks up behind Val and delivers a chokeslam. Regal applies the Regal Stretch. Val taps, but there’s no submissions.

The next participant is out and it’s the Hurricane. He tries to shoulderblock the Undertaker, but sends himself down. Undaunted, he runs to the ropes, slingshotting off the second rope and delivering a flying body press to Undertaker, who casually catches him and slams him. Regal releases the hold on Val and picks him up. Hurricane tries for a clothesline, but Undertaker ducks and executes a chokeslam. Regal then throws Val over the top rope and to the floor.

Jay’s theme hits and he’s the next participant. He helps Dusty work over Tajiri. Regal takes on the Hurricane as Undertaker goes after Dusty. He fights Jay away and then whips the Dusty into the ropes, catching him and hits a big boot. Tajiri dropkicks the knee of Jay and then clips Undertaker’s knee as he’s posing.

After another forty seconds, Crash is revealed as the next participant. He runs in and goes after Jay, pounding him with right hands. Dusty attacks him and tries a German suplex. Crash breaks free and bounces off the ropes, ducking Dusty’s reverse elbow and hitting him with a clothesline on the rebound. As Dusty falls down, he executes a springboard bulldog on Jay. However, as he finishes, Regal attacks from behind.

The next participant out is the Godfather, who goes after Jay. He backs him into the corner and gives him some right hands, but Undertaker comes over to make the save. Godfather blocks a right hand and tries to lift Undertaker over the top rope. Regal comes over and lifts Godfather’s leg, dumping him over the top rope to the floor, saving Undertaker.

More brawling until the clock counts down and Kane makes his way out. Dusty ducks out of the ring and takes a walk upon hearing Kane’s music. Kane comes in and sends Regal down with a thrust to the throat. He gives Hurricane a shot, as well as Jay, Tajiri and Crash, and then comes face to face with the Undertaker. After exchanging words they lay into each other with punches. Tajiri tries a flying clothesline on Regal, but he moves and clotheslines Tajiri on the top rope. Tajiri turns around, but Regal lifts his feet and dumps him over the top rope and to the floor. A few seconds later, Undertaker backdrops Crash out of the ring. Jay and Hurricane grapple on the ropes, but in trying to eliminate one another, they both go over the top rope and to the floor. Regal and Undertaker attack Kane, but Kane fights Regal away. Undertaker gets the best of Kane and whips him into the ropes. Kane ducks a clothesline and then turns around to catch Undertaker in a choke and hits the chokeslam. Undertaker staggers to his feet against the ropes and Kane clotheslines him over the top rope to the floor. He looks at Regal, but Regal begs off and rolls out of the ring. Dusty gets back in the ring with a lit blowtorch and locks eyes with Kane. Dusty runs at Kane with the blowtorch, but Kane kicks him in the midsection (and Dusty turns off the blowtorch). He gives him a throat thrust, causing Dusty to drop the blowtorch and fall to his back. Dusty gets up and backs into the corner, where Kane lays in some right hands.

The clock counts down and Huh dances his way to the ring. He runs at Kane, but he turns around and casually gives him a big boot before continuing his work on Dusty. Regal gets back in and beats on Huh, but Huh breaks free and instead of attacking, starts dancing. Regal’s confused, and just kicks Huh and delivers another butterfly powerbomb.

The clock counts down and Rikishi makes his way to the ring. He gives Regal a right hand and a thrust kick. Huh sees him and starts dancing with joy, urging Rikishi to join in. Rikishi does for a moment and then clotheslines Huh, standing over him and dropping his rear end onto his chest. He sees Regal propped up in the corner, and after asking some encouragement from the crowd, gives him a Stinkface. Regal gasps around the ring for a moment, while Rikishi continues to work on Huh. Kane finally eliminates Dusty by lifting him for a chokeslam and dumping him over the top rope, but the remaining participants converge on Kane, working together to lift him out and eliminate him.

After some three-way brawling, the next participant to come out is Booker T. He goes after Rikishi while Regal works on Huh. Rikishi manages to whip Booker to the opposite turnbuckle and hit a reverse avalanche.

Booker slumps to the ground as the clock counts down and Jerry Lynn makes his way out. He goes after Huh, while Regal turns his attention to Rikishi. Lynn hits a missile dropkick from the second rope on Huh, but Booker legdrops him while he’s still on the mat.

More brawling until the next participant emerges, and it turns out to be Cheesecake. He helps Huh beat on Jerry Lynn, while Rikishi gets worked over by Regal and Booker.

More brawling until the clock counts down and Faarooq comes to the ring, going right after Huh and Cheesecake. Lynn goes over to help Rikishi, but Booker stops him with a leaping side kick.

The next participant is Croooooow, and he helps out Cheesecake and Huh with Faarooq. Lynn helps out Faarooq by attacking the PPV Squad, but they triple team him. Cheesecakes sets up Lynn on the top rope, but Lynn kicks him away and gives Huh a right hand. Croooooow moves in, but Lynn catches him in a front facelock and delivers a tornado DDT. Meanwhile, Faarooq and Rikishi go at it while Booker and Regal rest.

The Big Show is the next man out, and the Squad members all immediately attack him, trying to get him out quick. The Big Show flings them all off, and Croooooow turns around to receive a spinebuster from Faarooq while the Big Show gives Cheesecake and Huh some right hands. He runs over and finishes Booker and Regal’s work by thrust kicking Rikishi and sending him over the top rope and to the floor. Croooooow rallies Cheesecake and Huh, but all of a sudden attacks them. Cheesecake and Huh fight back, but soon turn on each other. After a few moments they go back to work on the Big Show.

The next participant out is Nykk, and he clips the Big Show’s knee, allowing the rest of the Squad to get in some offense. Nykk and Croooooow double team Lynn and manage to eliminate him. Nykk and Croooooow attack Faarooq, and Nykk tells Huh to help him. As Nykk turns around, Huh swings him around to face him and starts kicking the crap out of him. He beels Nykk across the ring and moves in, but Nykk low blows him and asks him what the hell he’s doing. The Big Show sneaks up behind Nykk and throws him over the top rope. Nykk hangs on and gets back in the ring.

The next participant is the returning Triple H, who gets a standing ovation at his entrance. He gets in the ring and executes a high knee on Booker and throws Huh over the top rope and to the floor. Faarooq attacks Triple H and tries to throw him out, but HHH reverses and eliminates Faarooq. Nykk and Croooooow attack Triple H, doing their reverse DDT/spinebuster combo. Booker hits a scissors kick on Triple H as he gets up and does the Spinarooni, but Regal clotheslines him as he completes it.

Rob Van Dam is the next participant and he goes after Booker. Nykk and Croooooow try and eliminate RVD, but the Big Show forearms them away. Van Dam whips Croooooow into the corner and does his rolling monkey flip. Meanwhile, Faarooq and Triple H battle.

The next participant is Christian, who helps Booker work on Triple H. RVD fights back against the PPV Squad and slams Cheesecake, hitting him with Rolling Thunder right after. Nykk exits the ring and brings in a chair, but Van Dam gives him the Van Daminator for his efforts. Croooooow tries to force him over the top, but to no avail. The Big Show comes over and headbutts Croooooow. Seeing an opportunity, Van Dam jumps to the top rope and hits the Five Star Frog Splash on Nykk.

After the time is up, Steve Austin finally makes his way out. He goes after Booker, but Booker slides out of the ring and runs. Austin gives chase, and when they get back in the ring, Booker hides behind Cheesecake, who stupidly attacks Austin. Austin backs him into the corner and gives him some right hands before throwing him over the top rope and eliminating him. However, he turns around to receive another leaping side kick from Booker. Croooooow and Christian try and eliminate the Big Show, while Austin gives Booker a spinebuster. Austin comes face to face with Triple H and their old rivalry rekindles. They lay into each other before the Austin whips him into the ropes. He puts his head down and receives a facebuster from Triple H.

The next participant is Mr. Perfect, who attacks Austin. Christian helps him, as Nykk goes at it with HHH in the corner and Croooooow gets a spinning heel kick from RVD. Regal takes on RVD, giving him some knees to the face.

Out next is Kurt Angle, who goes right for Triple H. Croooooow DDTs Van Dam, but gets a big boot from the Big Show. Austin hits the Thesz Press on Perfect, and then goes over and fights with the Big Show. Nykk and Croooooow help Angle try and eliminate Triple H, but he fights his way out with right hands and tries to eliminate Nykk. Angle and Perfect then start to tangle.

More brawling until Bradshaw makes his way to the ring as the next participant. He goes after Croooooow and Nykk, giving Nykk a big boot and Croooooow a fallaway slam. The Big Show dukes it out with Booker, while the Austin is double-teamed by Perfect and Christian.

The last participant is Test, who takes some shots at the Big Show. He sees Christian and Bradshaw trying to eliminate each other and walks over and pushes them out, eliminating both of them. The remaining combatants brawl for a few minutes, with Nykk and Croooooow working as a team to beat down RVD. RVD battles back, but Test moves in with the big boot, staggering RVD against the ropes. Nykk and Croooooow double clothesline him over the top rope to the floor. Perfect has Austin against the ropes and tries a clothesline, but Austin ducks and turns around to clothesline Perfect over the top rope to the floor. The PPV Squad immediately pounces on Austin. Booker and Test try and eliminate Triple H. Seeing the Big Show against the ropes, Test delivers the big boot to eliminate him. Croooooow holds Austin for Nykk to hit with his running leg lariat. Austin wriggles free once again and gets out of the way. Nykk nails Croooooow with it, and it sends him over the top rope and to the floor. As Nykk holds his head in disbelief and frustration, Austin grabs his ponytail and throws him over the top rope to crash into Croooooow at ringside. After about a minute of brawling, Angle hits the Olympic Slam on Triple H. However, he still can’t get him out. Frustrated, Angle loses his temper and starts whipping him with some rights. He bounces off the opposite side, but Triple H backdrops him over the top, eliminating him. Regal tries to get Triple H out, but Booker sneaks up and lifts him over the top rope. Regal hangs on, but Triple H and Booker lay in some kicks and finally get him to drop to the floor. The final four are Austin, HHH, Test and Booker. Austin goes after Booker while Test goes after Triple H. After a few minutes of back and forth action, Austin almost has Test eliminated when Triple H sneaks up from behind and lifts the legs to dump Austin over the top and to the floor. Austin is angry but it is every man for himself. Booker attacks Triple H as he’s jawing with Austin, forcing him against the ropes. Test warms up his boot and runs at them, giving them both the boot. They go out, but Booker falls to the floor while Triple H hangs on. Test celebrates with his back turned while HHH gets in the ring. He kicks Test as he turns around and delivers the Pedigree. He drags Test to his feet and easily deposits him over the top rope and to the floor. Triple H celebrates while his music plays.

Order of Entry

1. Tajiri
2. X-pac
3. Lance Storm
4. William Regal
5. Goldust
6. Dusty Schneble
7. Val Venis
8. The Undertaker
9. The Hurricane
10. Jay
11. Crash
12. The Godfather
13. Kane
14. Huh
15. Rikishi
16. Booker T
17. Jerry Lynn
18. Cheesecake
19. Faarooq
20. Croooooow
21. The Big Show
22. Nykk
23. Triple H
24. Rob Van Dam
25. Christian
26. Steve Austin
27. Mr. Perfect
28. Kurt Angle
29. Bradshaw
30. Test

Order of Elimination

1. X-pac (Tajiri)
2. Lance Storm (Tajiri)
3. Goldust (Tajiri)
4. Val Venis (Regal)
5. Crash (Regal)
6. Tajiri (Regal)
7. Crash (Undertaker)
8. Hurricane (Jay)
9. Jay (Hurricane)
10. Undertaker (Kane)
11. Dusty (Kane)
12. Kane (Huh, Rikishi and Regal)
13. Rikishi (Big Show)
14. Jerry Lynn (Croooooow and Nykk)
15. Huh (Triple H)
16. Faarooq (Triple H)
17. Cheesecake (Austin)
18. Christian (Test)
19. Bradshaw (Test)
20. Rob Van Dam (Nykk and Croooooow)
21. Perfect (Austin)
22. Big Show (Test)
23. Croooooow (Nykk)
24. Nykk (Austin)
25. Angle (Triple H)
26. Regal (Triple H and Booker T)
27. Austin (Triple H)
28. Booker T (Test)
29. Test (Triple H)
30. Winner: Triple H