12/24/01-12/30/01

Raw

INT. ARENA – NIGHT

The PPV Squad theme hits and Nykk, Croooooow, Cynric and Dusty come out to the ramp. They all have on Santa hats, except Dusty’s is black instead of red.

King: What a way to start off Raw! The PPV Squad is here!

JR: (sarcastic) Great.

King: Look at them, they’re all wearing Santa hats!

Nykk: Merry Christmas, everybody!

King: See, JR? They’re in the Christmas spirit tonight.

Nykk: “Everybody” is such a loose term, however. I know that when I think of Christmas, I think of ice and snow. I think of Christmas trees. But where are we? We’re in Miami, Florida. Have we seen a single Christmas tree lot since we got here? No. Have we seen snow? Nope, and the only ice we saw was in the back of a freezer in some run-down, trashy Miami deathtrap, I mean restaurant, that we vandalized last night. Yeah, that’s right. We’re bad. You people don’t even have the props. You don’t deserve to celebrate Christmas!

JR: Christmas isn’t about props, it’s about giving and being with your loved ones. What the heck is he talking about?

Nykk: However, you are fortunate enough to have the PPV Squad with you tonight, and we’re going to kick this Christmas Raw Bellbrookville-style! We’ll start with an early Christmas gift we received today. It’s sitting down there at ringside all wrapped up. Huh! Jay! Cheesecake! Open our present!

Jay, Huh and Cheesecake, at ringside, rip open a large present to reveal a new couch, long enough to sit seven people.

Nykk: Thank you, ladies and gentlemen, and don’t worry. We’ll be here all night!

Their theme plays again as they go down to sit on their new couch while JR and the King run down the night’s line-up of matches.

*Fade Out*

INT. ARENA – NIGHT

As the show comes back, the PPV Squad has set up a dining table in front of the ring, and they are eating a Christmas meal served by Huh, who cooked the food himself.

JR: Will somebody get these guys out of here?

King: Why?

JR: We have a show to do, King!

Dusty’s theme starts playing, and he gets up from the table to get in the ring.

JR: Well, we know that Dusty is obsessed with fire, but how is he in the ring?

The APA’s theme plays and Bradshaw makes his way to the ring.

JR: It will be Bradshaw, from the APA vs. “The Devil Himself” Dusty Schneble, from the PPV Squad.

They show replay footage of the previous week.

King: I think Bradshaw’s looking to have some PPV Squash for his Christmas dinner.

The match lasts about four minutes. After some back and forth action, Dusty gets the pin after executing a flying knee from the top rope, hitting Bradshaw in the head.

King: Score one for Dusty!

JR: Dusty Schneble with the victory. He seems to be the only one of these guys to have a full name.

Dusty gets a blowtorch from under the timekeeper’s table.

King: Uh oh, JR… what’s he doing?

JR: Dusty has a blowtorch! Someone get out here right now. Who can tell what this maniac will do?

Dusty gets in the ring and stands over the unconscious Bradshaw, but Faarooq runs in and attacks Dusty. Dusty drops the blowtorch and rolls out of the ring, running to the back. Faarooq chases him.

JR: The rest of the PPV Squad didn’t even lift a finger! Why?

King: I don’t know.

JR: I think we have a camera back there? Yes, we do.

The camera switches to the tech area, where Dusty is backing up among some piles of equipment, with Faarooq stalking him.

Faarooq: Where you running, boy? Why don’t you get you some? See how you do without the fireworks, huh?

As Faarooq approaches two stacks of tables, something suddenly explodes.

JR: Oh my God!

King: What was that?

Dusty runs, and when the smoke clears, Faarooq is on the ground holding his face.

JR: Now we know why the PPV Squad didn’t help. “The Devil Himself” set a goddman trap!

Several people run in and cover Faarooq with a blanket. Bradshaw arrives on the scene and helps.

JR: We need an ambulance back there!

King: Oh my gosh! He could be burned bad!

*Fade Out*

INT. ARENA – NIGHT

Back from commercials, Dusty has left the arena, Cynric, Cheesecake, Jay and Huh are on the couch at ringside, and Nykk and Croooooow are in the ring.

Nykk: We have a very special treat for you all right now. Maybe it will make up for some of the things we’ve done tonight, I don’t know. But it is Christmas, and Christmas is a time for forgiving. Over the past couple of weeks, I’ve had my differences with Edge. So Edge, if you come out here, I want to bury the hatchet.

Edge’s theme plays and he walks out on the ramp.

Edge: Well, what do we have here? Nykk and his friend Carrot Top!

King: What? A Carrot Top?

Edge: Nykk, you must think I’m really stupid to come out here alone, but since you don’t seem to want to let this go, how about I kick your holiday spirit all over the ring tonight?

Nykk: Whoa, whoa, whoa. I asked you out here because I forgive you, Edge. I know I ambushed you on Smackdown a couple of weeks ago, but I forgive you! I know you come from Canada, but I forgive you for that too! But when you come out here and insult my friends on Christmas… I can’t forgive you. As it happens, the patella tendon in my thorax is acting up again, so for tonight I’ll let Croooooow take the helm and kick the fruitcake out of you.

King: Edge vs. Carrot Top!

Nykk hands Croooooow the mic.

Croooooow: If you’re comparing me to Carrot Top, that’s fine. I’ll take it as a compliment being compared to that fine, young gentleman. How about you and me in a match? But if you accept I want a non-title match, so I don’t interfere with Nykk’s plans to take that gold away from you!

JR: Oh, please. What a sheep.

Edge: Hmm… Me vs. Croooooow. That guy with the six O’s in his name. What’s with that, anyway? Are the O’s maybe zeros, to represent how worthless you are? Fine, you have a match. How about we do this right now?

Croooooow: Feel free to come on down! And as for O’s and zeros, let me just say that there are also two zeros in… a-boot.

Edge: Let’s do this! And as a parting thought, just remember when you phone your Squad buddies from the hospital to dial 1-800-CALL-ATT! Now what do you have to say a-boot that?

Edge’s theme plays and he charges the ring.

JR: Croooooow may have lost the war of one-liners with Edge, but he may win yet. Croooooow vs. Edge right now!

MATCH: Edge vs. Croooooow

Standard Raw match that goes about five minutes. As Edge makes a comeback, he spears Croooooow. Instead of covering, he hops out of the ring and attacks Nykk. He hits him with some rights and rams him into the post. Then he whips Nykk into the ring steps. He gets back in the ring, but Croooooow has gotten up and stomps him. He tries whipping Edge into the ropes, but Edge counters into an armwringer and tries a short-arm clothesline. Croooooow ducks, but Edge kicks him in the midsection as he turns around and delivers the Edgecution for the pin.

King: How about that? Edge just beat Croooooow!

JR: Edge just pinned one half of the tag team champions, but I gotta believe that somewhere down the line Nykk and Edge are going to tangle again.

Edge leaves as the rest of the Squad looks after Nykk and Croooooow.

*Fade Out*

Smackdown

INT. PROMO SET – NIGHT

Lillian Garcia is standing by with Steve Blackman.

Lillian: Steve Blackman, you have been on hiatus from the WWF for quite some time now. Why choose this time to come back?

Blackman: Yes, it has been awhile since I’ve been in the WWF, but one man inspired me to come back. Cynric. The martial arts is a sacred thing, and should not be used in a dishonorable way. Cynric has been blindsiding people, and that is not honorable. I’m here to make sure he learns that lesson.

Lillian: Well, tonight you may get the chance, as you team up with Bradshaw to take on Cynric and “The Devil Himself” Dusty Schneble. Did you see what Dusty did to Faarooq on Raw?

Blackman: I saw it, Lillian, and it made me sick to my stomach. Fire is nothing that you play with, but if Dusty insists on playing that game with me, he’ll be the one who gets burned.

Blackman suddenly backs off and gets into a fighting stance as Lillian gasps and exits. The camera pans over to see Dusty standing off to the right. He holds a can of ether in one hand and a Zippo in the other. He strikes the Zippo and sprays ether through the flame, shooting fire in Blackman’s direction.

Dusty: You want to play a game, Blackman? One of my favorites was always Crossfire!

He shoots the flame at the promo set, igniting it. As the set burns, production crew run, trying to get away. The camera keeps on Dusty, who is staring euphorically at the flames.

*Fade Out*

INT. ARENA – NIGHT

The PPV Squad theme hits, and Cynric and Dusty make their way to the ring, Dusty with his flame-thrower.

Cole: Tag team action on the way. Cynric and Dusty, from the PPV Squad, take on Steve Blackman and Bradshaw. And King, what a hideous thing Dusty did to Faarooq on Raw.

King: I do think that Dusty went too far in that case, but he was trying to defend himself. Faarooq was chasing him!

Cole: Come on, King, Dusty set a trap. He knew Faarooq would try and get him after he tried to burn Bradshaw, and he laid a trap in the backstage area.

Steve Blackman’s theme hits and he and Bradshaw make their way to the ring.

Cole: Bradshaw is going to attempt to exact some revenge from Dusty, but what about Steve Blackman, saying that he came back to teach Cynric a lesson?

King: I don’t know. They’re both martial artists. It could be like Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon in there if those two meet.

The match goes about three minutes or so. Cynric is noticeably avoiding Blackman. There is a brawl at the end, and Bradshaw takes care of Cynric as Dusty rams Blackman into the ring post on the outside. Cynric ducks the Clothesline from Hell and sweeps Bradshaw’s legs. Dusty comes off the second rope with a knee drop to the head to get the three count.

Cole: Dusty and Cynric triumph, but how long can Cynric avoid Steve Blackman?

Dusty gets his flame-thrower and goes into the ring, but the ref stops him.

Cole: Wait a minute…

King: Come on, that’s enough.

Cole: Dusty has his sights set on the other half of the APA. Get that thing away from him, ref!

Dusty looks like he’s about to blast the ref with the flame-thrower.

King: No, no!

Cynric whispers something in Dusty’s ear and he nods. He turns off the flame-thrower and they exit the ring.

Cole: That was a close one. Thank goodness Cynric said… whatever it was he said to Dusty.

*Fade Out*

INT. LOCKER ROOM – NIGHT

Croooooow, Jay, Huh and Cheesecake are standing around in the locker room, talking while Nykk looks somber, when Cynric and Dusty come in. C

ynric: Did you guys see that?

Croooooow: Yeah, you guys did great. Having Dusty burn that ugly set was a nice touch.

Cynric: A few more wins as a tag team and we’ll be able to challenge you guys for the tag team titles, huh?

Huh: Huh?

Huh sees no one is talking to him and stops paying attention again. Croooooow laughs it off, but Nykk stands up and gets in Cynric’s face.

Cynric: Whoa, whoa, I was just joking.

Croooooow holds Nykk back, and he sits back down to tie his shoes.

Croooooow: Nykk’s a little upset at what Edge did to him on Raw.

Cynric: Oh. You guys wanna go celebrate?

Croooooow: Sure.

Cheesecake: I’m there.

Dusty: Let’s go to the Sizzler!

Huh: Aren’t you going, Nykk?

Croooooow: He said he has something he wants to do. Let’s go.

They get up and walk off camera.

Jay: Take it easy, Nick, huh?

Huh: Huh?

Nykk: (enraged) Don’t call me that! It’s Nykk!

OC Jay: Whatever.

*Fade Out*

INT. ARENA – NIGHT

Edge has just finished an Intercontinental Title defense and is posing when Nykk jumps through the crowd and gets in the ring.

King: Hey!

Cole: It’s Nykk!

Nykk takes off his tag team title belt and hits Edge in the back of the head with it.

Cole: What the hell is he doing?

King: He’s mad at what Edge did on Monday, look out!

Nykk beats on Edge’s neck and then throws him to the outside. He rams him into the steps. He rolls him back into the ring and applies the Bellbrookville Cedarleaf. Edge taps, and Nykk relinquishes the hold. He holds up the belt and then drops it on Edge’s prone body. He exits as his music plays.

Cole: What a sickening attack on Edge!

King: These two just up the ante on each other every week, don’t they?

Cole: I get the feeling somebody’s going to get hurt before long. *Fade Out*

Jakked

MATCH: Cynric vs. Crash

Cynric wins with a roll-up after some chain wrestling.

Sunday Night Heat

MATCH: Nykk vs. Albert

Nykk wins with the Bellbrookville Cedarleaf.

MATCH: Croooooow vs. Scotty 2 Hotty

Scotty wins after interference from Nykk backfires.