DAILY RANT
(which might not be so "daily")
I want to talk about kids today, and mainly the difference between how we were raised when we were kids, and how we would never even think about talking back to our parents, and how everything is turned ass-backwards somehow and our kids are getting lazy and mouthy. To sum it up, where the hell did we go wrong?
Sigh. Was it all the attention we've brandished them, making them the center of it since the day they were born? How did that turn out to be a bad thing? Attention and more importantly attentiveness is supposed to be a good thing, right? Somewhere along the line we've been duped into thinking that if we don't center our lives completely around our children and making our children happy and fullfilled every minute of every day, then we're just not doing our job right and we're bad parents. See, the line of separation has been blurred. Perhaps we're too attentive and too involved in our children's lives. Can that be possible? I'm so confused!
I remember my parents being parents.. taking care of their own business, aloof and busy. They went to work, they came home, we had dinner, they did certain chores around the house, then plopped down in time to watch the evening news and maybe a couple of prime time shows. I don't really remember what, I didn't get to pick what we watched back then. We watched whatever my parents wanted to watch, didn't you? We didn't have entire networks devoted to children's television like we do now. See! They've even manipulated the networks!
Things have just changed so much. We didn't have playstations and cartoon network and instant messaging. We played outside. We rode bikes. We played with our friends and used our imaginations. We played with toys. Those were kid things. The technology today has overtaken our lives. I could go on with endless examples, but you know what I'm talking about. Children today have easy access to the most user friendly and extraordinary technology to date, catered to them! I don't blame them. I would have been a tech spoiled brat if it had been available to me at the time, too.. but is it a good thing?
See, that's what I'm getting at; the differences in behavior, responsibility, appreciation, and respect. Why are so many of today's children lacking in these areas? What is so different from the way I was raised, and the way today's children are being raised? Technology and attentiveness, that's what I've concluded.
My parents never "talked" to me, we didn't have conversations. They were never interested. They were too busy trying to make ends meet and keep the house up to bother with actually getting involved in the day to day lives of their children. See, now I sound bitter. You can't win with me.
I'm just confused, as many parents are. Where did we go wrong in giving our children time, attention and importance? Beats me, that's supposed to be the good stuff, right? That's supposed to build confidence, make them secure and happy. Good stuff. Do we give them too much? Seriously now, is it possible?
My husband and I find ourselves centering our lives around our children, everything from what we're eating for dinner, to where we go on vacation. We always thought ourselves such good, attentive, loving parents, but at the end of the day, we also find ourselves struggling w/our seven year old to get him to listen to us, do his miniscule "chores", just mind without inserting a snide remark and having to have the last word. Then, THEN! to top it off, one or both of us ends up feeling guilty for being "too hard on the boy". Give me a break! I never would have acted that way around my parents. The thing is.. the thought of doing so would never have even entered my mind.. boundaries. I'm at a loss.
Maybe we behaved better in my day because we ran off so much of our excess energy outdoors, playing, doing sports, etc. I don't know, I like the "energy" idea, though.
In conclusion, I love my children, and I don't see anything wrong in showering them with attention and importance, when it feels right, and when it's loving, and on a regular basis. That's got to be right. But in doing so, we must be careful not to forget to teach the gifts of responsibility, appreciation and respect as well. These, too, contribute to their self worth. We cannot raise a generation lacking in these gifts, we cannot.