SWINGING IS NOT AN ACTIVITY, IT IS AN ATTITUDE

Keynote Address Given At VISIONS '99, Tampa, Florida, April 30, 1999

By Robert McGinley, Ph.D.
President, NASCA International
President, The Lifestyles Organization
Chairman & CEO, Lifestyles Tours & travel


Have any of you been asked to give a talk? I am sure that a good number of you have. But, have you ever been TOLD that you were to give a talk? Well, as have a number of you, I have given a talk or two - perhaps to the consternation of my listeners, a few hundred too many!  But, when told by Holly, what choice does one have? Have you tried to say NO to Holly? If you have, you have more courage than I possess.

Just a couple of weeks ago I was in Jamaica with Ray Rhoat. You know Ray; he's the guy who runs Holly's errands. Ray and I were part of 21 swing club and publication leaders on a NASCA seminar and Touch of Jamaica familiarization tour. It was a great experience. The group stayed at Grand Lido Braco and Grand Lido Sans Souci, two truly great resorts, before going to Trident Villas where the seminar was to be held. These are all 5-star resorts. The seminar was actually held in a castle.

It was in Jamaica that Ray informed me that Holly had already put me on the program. "No way!" I told Ray; it's impossible. When I get back I have only a couple of days to file a suit against the ABC in California, and pack to go to the Dominican Republic!"  You call Holly and tell HER," was Ray's only answer. I did.   Just to show you how assertive that I can be -- I'm here! I left the Dominican
Republic, overflew Florida to New York, left Jan Queen, manager of Lifestyles Tours & Travel, and Roberta Valdez, director of product development to continue home, boarded another plane to fly back to Florida, and, well… I'm here!

A word about the seminar: It was nice to be wanted. The seminar and fam tour was arranged by NASCA International and Lifestyles Tours & Travel, but was also sponsored by Air Jamaica, SuperClub's Grand Lido resorts Braco and San Souci, Trident Villas and the Jamaican Tourist Board. They knew who we were and what we represented. They went out of their way to welcome us.

Why? Because they welcome our business.By the way, the reception of NASCA by the Jamaicans was of such importance that Harper's magazine commissioned Canadian journalist Terry Gould to write about the tour and seminar. Gould's most recent book is "The
Lifestyle: A Look at the Erotic Rites of Swingers," published by Random House of Canada. It was during the NASCA seminar that the swing leaders adopted a slogan that does much to solve the problem many of you have, that of concern that you may be "found out" to be a "swinger." But, more on this later.

I asked Holly that, if I went to Visions, what she wanted me to speak about: art, politics, science, my favorite, airplanes, astronomy… She replied, "Anything you like, as long as it is about sex." Remember what Henry Ford once said? "You can have my Model T in any color you want, provided it is black!"  During the day I heard a number of replies to the question: "What is swinging?" Some of the answers I have previously heard or read are: Hedonistic; Perverts; A threat to American Society; A put-down to women -- but enough of Jerry Falwell, Pat Robertson and television talk shows!  Replies heard today at Visions include: Its fun! Swing Party; Getting it on with
another couple; Its run by the women…

None of these approach the real answer. All are shallow.  Have you thought about swinging in any depth? About its impact on society? Is
swinging mostly about sex?  By the way, society tends to view the sex act as a final product with orgasm as  its goal. With this view, people feel pressured to "succeed," and when they can't they feel impotent or cheated. However, if we begin to view sex as part of
intimacy and not as the ultimate goal, it becomes a process and not a final product. The art of sexual pleasure, like conversation, is not about "getting to the point;" it is about people sharing their feelings and pleasure with one another.

Yes, swinging, and my talk, is about sex. All agree that adult sex is natural and healthy. So, then why do we hide our inclinations? Why do we fear being "found out?"  The answer, of course, is fear of society scorn.  But, what if society should look at swinging in a different light? If swinging were accepted by much of society, perhaps as toplessness is accepted in Germany - though not all do it, would our attitude change? Would it make a difference in
our lives?

Investigative journalist Terry Gould has taken us a step in this direction with his book, published by Random House of Canada, The Lifestyle: A Look at the Erotic Rites of Swingers. His book takes a step in explaining the validity of swinging to the reading public by examining swinging from an historical viewpoint encompassing physiology, sociology and other sciences. It is a positive book on swinging. It has been favorably received by critics, reaching
No. 5 on the Canadian Best Seller List. Peter Jenning's book reached No. 9 on this same list. The Lifestyle is not yet available by an U.S. publisher. They seem afraid of a book that speaks favorably on the subject. Until this happens, you can order The Lifestyle through the Internet at http://www.geocities.com/dating_service_site A second step comes from the acceptance of swing oriented tours by Jamaica: it is the power
of money. When your favorite hobby, recreation or lifestyles affects the livelihood of others, their attitude about that hobby, recreation or lifestyles changes.  Swinging affects the livelihood of a great many. It is becoming an economic powerhouse! This is a hidden secret that is slowly coming out. Consider the swing conventions: Visions, Conclave, Lifestyles. Their economic impact is real. How did you get here? Did you drive? Did you buy gas? Did you, especially the women, buy clothes for the event? Did you hire a baby sitter? If you flew, you bought airline tickets, paid tips, took a taxi. Consider this hotel. They profit from the rooms occupied and the meals eaten.
And, consider the other people who profit from our activities: the suppliers who make the airlines function, as example.  Did you know that the City of Palm Springs, California estimated that the Lifestyles '97 Convention brought 1.6 million dollars to the city? And this does
not take into consideration all other expenditures, such as transportation to get to the convention.

Why are we so welcome by Jamaica? Because a small group of travel
agencies, following the lead of Lifestyles Tours & Travel, has made Jamaica popular to swingers. Lifestyles Tours & Travel booked over 850 people in Hedonism II in just one month, January of this year. Add to this those booked by Castaways Travel, Jim & Champagne are in the audience, and Airport Tours, and you can readily see the impact of swing travel to Jamaica. 

Part of the answer to society acceptance is education and explanation; another part is economic. Lloyd Levin of Chicago long ago coined a word for these  parts: Ecomores. He was a visionary. Our moral attitude tends to change with how we make a living. Put another way, acceptance of the morals of others changes as we make a living off of them. Within limits.

But, something else is needed - something simple but with great impact. At the beginning of my talk I promised an answer that you could adopt, with no effort, no exposure. I said, "… more on this later." Remember?

This answer lies in a change of thinking.

Turn the definition of swinging around. Make the definition that of an attitude that need not be backed up by an action. Make it possible for anyone with an open mind to consider him- or herself a "swinger." Be inclusive, not exclusive.

Swinging is not an Activity, it is an Attitude.

Again: Swinging is not an Activity, it is an Attitude.

Think about it.

Thank you for your courtesy in listening to me.