I would like to take this opportunity to send many thanks to phil for taking time out to apply a recent beauty therapy treatment. After hearing about his pain free technique for eyelash curl and eyebrow shaping i was very impressed with the overall end results.In fact didnt really feel a thing.His secret is that of a unique flash therapy cunningly discuised as a flash wallet with enough fuel onboard to keep a small town warm through the winter months!! following the bright flash, approximatly 2mm from my eye, which resembled that of a necular explosion, i awoke to find the crowd admiring my,slightly singed and smouldering,new look! pain free of course and only a week till the bandages can be removed! Many thanks again phil.
--Richie ' Card Magician' C

Ref: eyelash removal
I would like to respond to the none too subtle critism of my fire wallet. In fact the reason for your eyebrow, lash singing was in fact due to leaning forward at the critical moment. Clearly under the influence of drink and dare I say awe at my fine performance you no doubt swayed forward resulting in your injury.
I will of course not be seeking claims for deformation of my character and magic skills and would further like to point out you were lucky I did not show you said trick in the gents toilet or you may be questioned on hairdressing skills down below........
Now Richie have I showed you my do it yourself flame throwing technique.....

further more ............. will someone please show Stan how to force a card and not leave it in the card box whilst performing in packed french bistro. Phillipe

I would like to throw another point into the ring on this one. I have in the post this morning recieved an invoice from the Lisdoonie for painting due to smoke damage in the lounge bar. I think this just shows the ferocity of Phil's fire wallet. I'm with Richie on this one, in fact I will represent him in court if neccessary!
--JL
<mailto:[email protected]>

NEW SUBJECT. Did you hear about the member who was booked to do a party for 4 year olds? It all went well for the first 10 minutes, then their attention started to wander - and so did the kids! One climbed up on the stage and grabbed a ready blown up modelling baloon, then there was a state of chaos as ALL the other kids clambered up and over all the magicians props and started fighting for balloons. The member (who shall remain nameless, but does card tricks while driving v. fast) made a miraculous recovery, switching to balloon modelling as an early finish to his legendary perfomance. Well done Richie.

Great annual dinner on Saturday - though thought Mark could have done the raffle a bit better . . .he was very bland and it was only richie that saved him. God bless him.
Phil

excellent night at the dinner, wonderful job by j and j to sort it, pity about slight cock up with flowers,....bland bland performance boys! he he. pres elect ian x

Dear Pes Elect.... glad u noticed how Mark ruin what was very serious pat of evening.. have u noticed its always the same ones. I tried to hold him back but never easy.
Anyway thought next year as you will be president we will offer the flowers by sticking em between buttocks and bending over..... it will be no change to Mark but am sure it will be well remembered..... Phillipe

That was a really good interview on the radio last night by Mark. The bloke interviewing him was good too - he actually sounded interested in what Mark was saying!

RE STAGE COMPETITION. I think the comments by the magic judge on his score sheet were dissapointing to say the least. He knocked the newer members who competed instead of constructive critisism. We should be encouraging members NOT slagging them off.
Signed - a unhappy bunny.

Hi all - Re - Stage show - critism is difficult. One persons remark can be taken in different ways by the person it is directed at, and does not always mirror the true meaning in which it was given. Saying that if any body mentions my 50% overrun on night I will feel obliged to put your windows through.
I did not over run it was the other 8 acts that cut it short making mine look worse than it was... plots plots and plots - Phillipe
--Phillipe

mine just didnt go to plan :p
--Adrian

Bonjour frenchie. With regards to your act, are you sure it was just a 50% overrun? Or was time just standing still!! If you had kept up with your 4 hours a day practice then I think you would find you would have a finely tuned and honed act rather close to that of sumo Sam! It’s the way of the warrior you know. Dedication! In fact to prove how long your act is, all I can say is refer to the recent photo of your good self and a certain Damon Hill. Firstly, he didn’t have a beard before you started and secondly by the time you had finished it had turned grey!!! End of story!! By the way, knock yourself out with the windows because I have moved!!
--Sumo Sam!

Ah sumo - your words hurt like your bottom looks..... I think. Now before we get all technical let me remind our members of a quote from Sumo 'richie' - Whilst discussing an up and comming production we were finalising the acts when certain sumo pipped up - 'so whens the interval' upon which to a man we all chimed back in the middle where it usually is.
Alas poor sumo was never heard from again and was last seen wringing out his sumo thong as he contemplated the concept of having the interval in the middle of a show - PS I take it you have moved to house with no windows - we call them places jails..... hehe
--Frenchies revenge

Close up comp is upon us and to all 12 performers good luck and break a finger....
Lets just hope the best man wins though I have heard that French man is very very good.
So with a full house of over 160 coming to watch I hope those with nerves stumble, those with sleights of hand cramp and those with good jokes choke. As for the rest good luck

well done everyone in the competition. great experience, and i didnt come last *dances*
--adey

WOW! what a great close up comp, the standard of magic was excellent, everbody had raised there game and a lot of effort and prep was shown, the feedback from the spectators and judges was brilliant! win or not everybody should be proud of there performances, you was all a credit to our club and to the wonderful art of close up magic. well done to stan, dave, phil and ken for getting the trophys, thanks to the judges who must have had a tough job as the standard was so high, and also thanks to peter f for timekeep and peter j for video. well well done to everybody who took part you should all be proud of yourselves!
--proud pres ian.

did the guy in close up comp infringe copyright laws doing his act using a well known brand of soft drink, im reporting him to pepsi.
--trading standards

there was a magician who played music in his act whilst in the comp. was it to keep the spectators awake?? ha ha ha ha
--thumb tip lover

what was the man called who was doing norman wisdom impressions, i think he won the comp, i was scared his ballons were going to burst and hurt somebody, they were very big.
--concerned

Re Comp.
Good evening was had by all and as mentioned the audience were very impressed by standard.. all I heard as I left the venue was 'that Frenchman was very good' and 'Viva La France'. Well done Stan for 1st place.............. bastard.

Hello all and firstly an appology for being sooooo distant: works related accident. mainly just work!
Sorry I missed the close up comp sounded like a great night.
Catch up with you all soon.
Jonathan
--Jonathan

Thought I'd put a line or two in - "Line or two inn". Thats it!
--Andycadabra

Hi all, i hope you are all enjoying the summer break, shame about the weather!!. looking foward to seeing you all in september.
pres ian.

Hi all, i hope you are all enjoying the summer break, shame about the weather!!. looking foward to seeing you all in september.
pres ian.

A magician was working on a cruise ship in the Caribbean. The audience would be different each week, so the magician allowed himself to do the same tricks over and over again.
There was only one problem - the captain's parrot saw the shows each week and began to understand how the magician did every trick. Once he understood he started shouting in the middle of the show, "Look, it's not the same hat."
"Look, he is hiding the flowers under the table."
"Hey, why are all the cards the Ace of Spades?"
The magician was furious but couldn't do anything. After all, it WAS the captain's parrot. One stormy day the ship had an accident and sank. The magician found himself adrift on a piece of wood in the middle of the ocean... of course, the parrot was adrift on this same very piece of wood with him.
They stared at each other with hate, but did not utter a word. This went on for a day... then another ... and then another. After almost three days the parrot finally says, "OK, I give up. Where the heck is the boat?"

--STAN

what a fantastic show the club put on at Ulverston - packed house and had such wonderful feedback from people who were there. Mind you few people wondered why bloke was sweeping up at start for 10min........... but heh well done everybody and great acclaim for the club.

just to say a huge thank you to everybody who helped make the dinner a great night.
thanks again
pres Ian.

well thought set log off again and to say how well last show was - 5 magicans entertaining great crowd. super evening and lets keep quiet the fact that Compare was booed off stage towards the end....... oh dam let it slip sorry. But am sure it was all tongue in cheek and in fact the boos were a sign of appreciation. No really great night and good fun.

well done to all concerned re the dinner, brill night yet again.
--ian t

Well put Ian, However thought it started a little early this year!!!!
--Sekonda Sam!

Congratulations Richie look forward to supporting you through the year, I always said that “I’d never join a club that would except me has a member"
--stan

Ahhh Stan, Many a true word said about you being a member! All true I may add!!
--Richie