DISCLAIMER: Kevin Nash does not belong to me. Damn it… However, Rusty and Dylan do. WARNING: This gets kind of sappy…


Kevin Nash cringed as it struck midnight. He sat on the couch, staring at the other side of the room, where the grandfather clock stood. Both hands touched the twelve. That meant it was November fifteenth.

It was a year. Short a few hours, but a year. Kevin noted this with dismay, for on this date a year ago, his heart had been completely shattered. And there was nothing he could have done. The next twenty-four hours would be hard. It was the anniversary of his wife's death, and he couldn't escape this haunting fact.

It had been devastating. The months following it were harder to bear than anything he'd ever gone through in his entire life. What was more, he had gained a newborn son to care for by himself. His mother had been lost in childbirth.

Rusty Nash was his wife. He'd loved her with all his heart. From the moment he laid eyes on her, he knew there was no one else in the world for him. They were together for five years, and they were so happy. Then, in an unstoppable instant, it was taken from them.

Over and over in his mind, it played out. Life and birth clashed during those moments, eventually settling in a draw. The death of Rusty, and the birth of Dylan. It had been the name she'd wanted, and Kevin wouldn't deny her wishes when the baby boy was born.

Kevin didn't want to think about it anymore. He just wanted to go to bed. However, he remembered the candle. On the dresser in his room, the room that from time to time still smelled like her, was a small candle. Next to it, in a golden frame was Rusty in her wedding dress. He let his mind drift back to their wedding day.

It wasn't a big wedding. Neither of them had wanted one. Only their closest friends. They'd wed on a warm summer day, in a secluded park. Rusty's dress wasn't fancy. It was white, and traveled down to her knees. In it's simplicity, she'd never looked more beautiful to him.

A tear slid down his cheek. He wiped it away, and struck a match. The flame glowed brightly, and he pressed it to the wick of the candle. After shaking it out, he watched the fire burn for a little while, and remembered the fire Rusty had had in her.

It was one of the things about her that he was attracted to. She was always burning. Burning to achieve higher goals. Burning to make her friends and family happy, even if she wasn't happy first. God, he loved her more than anything… Not a day went by without him longing to have her back in his arms, in his life. In their son's life.

Out of the corner of his eye, he caught sight of his bed, and realized just how good it looked to him. He changed in to only sweatpants, and went to check on Dylan.

His son was asleep in his crib. He looked like his mother, and every time Kevin held him, this was brought to him. It was his birthday. At three forty-four, he'd be a year old, but it was not a day Kevin could bring himself to celebrate on. Reaching down, he stroked Dylan's hair gently, as not to wake him, and returned to his room.

The scent of smoke and vanilla wafted through the air from the candle. The vanilla would help to soothe him- it always had.

" Kevin?"

Kevin jumped up hearing a voice from behind him. He paused, then shook his head.

" You're losing it, Nash…" He told himself. " You keep hearing her voice… What's next?"

He pulled back the sheets, and that was when he heard it again, firmer this time.

" Kevin."

He whirled around, and froze. His mouth fell open. Beautiful eyes widened. At once, his knees gave in, and he found himself falling backwards to sit on the bed. Standing there, glowing softly, was his wife.

Rusty smiled gently at him, and motioned to the candle.

" Is that for me?"

Her husband could do nothing but tremble. In his chest, his heart pounded. This couldn't be possible, could it? It had to be an illusion. He closed his eyes, hoping when he opened them, she would be gone, and torment him no longer. He heard soft footsteps on the floor, and considered this was SOME hallucination.

Warm, soft hands were placed on his face. He drew in a sharp breath, and his eyes snapped open. He found himself gazing in to her chocolate ones, and she kneeled down a bit.

" My darling…" She smiled.

With one swift movement, he took her in to his arms. Deep down, he suspected this was a dream. But it didn’t matter. He decided to let the dream torture him. At least in his head, he could be with Rusty.

In his embrace, Rusty whimpered. She threw her arms around his neck.

" Kevin!" She burst in to tears, letting the moisture dampen his shirt.

" Rusty… Darlin', is it really you?"

In between sobs, she replied.

" Yes… I… Had to see you… I still… Kev, I still love you."

Kevin sighed.

" I can’t believe it."

For several moments, they just held each other fiercely, Rusty's tears ceasing, for she was in his arms at last.

Nash wanted to say so much. But he could only manage one word.

" How?"

Rusty looked up at him.

" If we conserve our energy for a year, we can make ourselves as close to human as possible for a short time."

" We?" He asked. " You're an angel, Rusty… Aren't you…"

She shook her head, slowly, patient smile still on her face.

" No. No wings. No halo. I'm a Ghost."

Her arms were bare, and Kevin relished the feeling of her skin on his.

" But I can feel you."

She nodded.

" I'm here. I'm… Just not alive."

This last note, along with the emotion that ran wild through him, he began to cry. Together, they sobbed. Rusty held him to her, and let him gently weep against her breasts.

They lay together afterwards, staying in the fact they were up against one another again, untouched by all else. They stayed like this for a while, but they felt they then needed to speak.

Rusty broke the silence.

" I miss you so much, Kev."

Kevin stroked her hair, letting his hands remember how soft it was.

" God, darlin, I miss you too."

She toyed with the golden hair on his chest.

" Do you still love me?"

He held her closer, still.

" Yes."

" I'm so sorry, Kevin."

" Sorry?" He was taken aback at these words. " For what?"

She swallowed.

" For leaving you to be alone."

" Rusty, you can't say that! It wasn't your fault! We didn't know!"

Rusty gently shook, fighting back the tears that threatened to return.

" But I left you with a child you had to raise yourself. I can't help but feel guilty."

Kevin's lips grazed her cheek.

" In him I see you."

" Him?"

The man sat up, as the reality of the fact she knew nothing of their child struck him.

" Yes. Our son… Like you wanted."

Rusty sat up next to him.

" My… Son…" She said slowly. She'd wanted a boy so badly. And she was denied the chance to raise him with the man she loved. " Kevin? Let me see him? Let me hold him?"

*

Kevin quietly opened the door to their son's room, as not to wake Dylan. The moon was full, and it's light spilled in to the room, the only illumination. Slowly, he led her over to his crib. Upon looking in, Rusty gasped.

" He's… He's beautiful, Kev." She sobbed.

Kevin reached in to his crib, and picked him up. He sat with Rusty on the window seat, and gently handed him to her. She sighed, and looked at him lovingly as she held him in her arms for the first time.

They let the tender moments pass in silence, as Dylan slept in his mother's arms, where he deserved to be.

" What did you name him?" She asked.

" Dylan." He replied. " Like you wanted."

She smiled.

He put his arm around her.

They must have stayed like that for an hour. Just sitting there, not saying anything. There was nothing to say- everything loomed in the air. But finally, Dylan stirred slightly in his sleep, and was put back in his crib.

Rusty and Kevin returned to their room.

" I see you in my dreams, Rusty." He told her, running his hand through his hair and pacing the room. " I can't tell if this is real or not…"

She walked to him.

" It's real… I know it’s unbelievable, but I'm here, Kevin."

The woman took his hand in hers, and he asked,

" But for how long?"

Sadly, she told him.

" Until morning."

Kevin's face fell. He'd been enjoying the time with his wife, he'd almost forgotten she wasn't there to stay.

" Don't look at me that way." She sighed. " Listen, I need to talk to you."

He nodded, prompting her to speak.

" This is hard for me to say… But I believe it's right… I came to tell you this tonight.

" Kevin, it's been a year. You have to go on with your life."

Kevin cocked his head.

" What are you saying, darlin.'"

She closed her eyes, the words she was forced to tell him paining her.

" I'm I don't want you to be alone. I want Dylan to have as close to a mother as he can."

It took a few moment for her words to sink in. She wanted him to forget about their love.

" No!" He told her. " I can't do that!"

" You have to!"

He looked down at her, hardly believing what she was saying.

" Why are you telling me this?" He asked in a soft voice. " When you came back, you told me you still love me. Was it a lie?"

Mutely, she shook her head.

" I do still love you, Kevin! More than anything!"

" Then why?"

" It's because I love you! You're the most incredible man I've ever met, and you don't deserve to be alone!"

His eyes held a sorrowful look in them. He caressed her face.

" That's not possible. I will never be satisfied. Because no one will ever compare to you and what we had. I'll go my whole life alone! Rusty, I tried, but I could never tell you how much I love you. How much I still love you! And I will NEVER feel that way again!"

Rusty choked back a sob.

" Kevin…"

It was then that he held her face in his hands, leaned down, and kissed her. She stiffened, but his lips on hers weakened her again, and she wrapped her arms around his neck, and kissed him back.

Eventually, they found themselves on his bed, kissing with a passion that had been bottled up for a year. Her fingers tangled in his blonde hair, and he held her as if he'd lose her all over again.

When Kevin's lungs gasped for air, he broke the kiss, gasping. He looked at her.

" How is this possible? You're not…"

" Real?"

He nodded.

" Yes… I mean no… I mean…"

She placed a finger on his lips.

" I still exist, hon. Just not in this world. But I'm here right now. And if I weren't real, I couldn't do this…"

She cupped him in her hand. He gasped, and through his sweatpants, he hardened against her hand. The softest of groans came from the back of his throat.

" Rusty…"

A longing look appeared in her eyes. She placed one kiss against his lips, and looked at him, silently asking him…

At first, it seemed surreal to him. But then he fought for words.

" Shh… You don't have to do anything." She told him. " Just yes or no?"

" Yes." He croaked.

Rusty kissed him again.


For the first time in a devastating twelve months, they made love.

As vanilla wafted through the air, Rusty was atop him. His hands were on her hips as he pushed himself in to her over and over. Time around them ceased to exist. All they knew was the fact that they were together.

Finally, they came together, panting as they tried to catch their breath. Rusty collapsed next to him, he breasts rising and falling with her heavy breathing.

Strong arms surrounded Rusty, and she was pulled to sleep with him. Her head rested on his chest. As they drifted off to sleep, he tiredly toyed with her hair.

* * *

Kevin knew Rusty would be gone by morning. But as he woke up alone, it was still hard to swallow.

For a few moments, though Rusty had told him it had not been a dream, Kevin wondered if it actually happened. If they actually made love, if they'd actually kissed, if he actually had his wife up against him as they slept.

But on his bedside table, was an envelope. His name was scrawled across the front. Sitting up in bed, Kevin opened the letter, and read it.

Kevin,

I wish I could have woke up beside you, but my power is limited. So much went through me last night, I could not have described it. I will give but one word- 
Incredible.

I still wish you would let our love go, but if it is not what you want, I can't force it to be. If you wait for me, I will return next year.

All my love,
Rusty

~*~