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Our Friday the 13^th edition of PW Throttle was perhaps our best card to date. It was a night for the newcomer, as Kevin Hall edged out the returning Crippler, Esquire got his revenge on Bombinator and the Flying Muskrat dominated "Kamakize".  We also saw Kahn walking away the winner in one of the strangest endings anyone has seen to a match, but with Zack Logan retaining the title. There were also a number of extra surprises: Absolute Zero's apparent NEW bodyguard and the resurfacing of Herald, Hayes incarcerated and the return of evil-incarnate, the Dehumanizer.

<The scene opens with a series of quick clips of various PW wrestlers performing moves on other, less fortunate wrestlers. Intermittent in between these are  short clips of pistons pumping, RPM gauges with the needles pushing the redline, flames flaring from an engine’s manifold, tires are seen squealing against hot asphalt then tearing into millions of pieces. Superimposed over all of this is the Planet Wrestling theme music. Finally, for the conclusion, a hand gloved in black leather gripping a stick shift shifts it into "high gear". The Throttle logo fades in over this, with the middle T’s replacing the shift stick. The music ends with a resounding, metallic "CHUNG!", then bursts into flames, fading into an aerial view inside the Planet Dome, where the PW theme music re-starts as fireworks go off by the entrance ramp and from the corner posts of the ring. The seats of the arena contain a sea of fans waving about various sings. The camera pans over them, and the shots switch as the crowd is scanned, bringing signs with writing such as "SMEG OFF!", "The Flying Jackass", "Canadians Are Gay", "Smokin John Has Lung Cancer", "YOU’RE AS NUTTY AS A FRUITCAKE!!!", "Smeg THIS!", "Will Drop Pants For Money", "I’m Kahn’s Imaginary Friend" and even "Where’s the BEEF?". They’re cheering like mad as the camera sweeps over them. The shot switches to the announcer’s table at ringside, where David Deyo and Rick Richards are seated, wearing headsets and nice-looking business suits.>

[Deyo]- <talking loudly to be heard over the crowd and fireworks.> Hello everyone and WELCOME to special action-packed FRIDAY THE 13th edition of PW Throttle! I'm David Deyo, and with me is your Throttle co-host, Rick Richards. Rick?

[Richards]- That's right ladies and gents, what a card we have tonight, and Jason's not even in TOWN! Bombinator will look to settle a score with the newcomer Esquire, who just about busted Barry D'Live's melon open on Shockwave to get Bombinator a second loss. Seems there's a past between that we're not fully aware of, so it should be interesting to see how things go. Then we'll be seeing the truly bizarre Flying Muskrat making his debut appearance against Kamakize of the AngelKillers! Finally, we'll be ending the night off with a BAM as "The Blue Thunder" goes toe to toe against the unstable Kristoph Kahn, where it would appear the PW championship committee has ruled that the match be a title defense!

[Deyo]- That's right Rick, and as if all THAT wasn't enough, up first to get the Richter Scale moving here on Shockwave, to start the night off, we'll be seeing yet ANOTHER new face to Planet Wrestling, the titan Kevin "The Iceberg" Hall will be facing the Canadian Crippler, who will be returning to pro wrestling after being on hiatus for a number of months! In his absence form the federation, Crippler's found a new attitude, and though he's been one of the sport's greats, the new attitude hasn't been very popular with a lot of the Crippler's fans.

[Richards]- He may be losing some fan support, but if things go his way and the Millennium Foundation is reformed with those he's been offering membership to, then he may just be on his way to forming one of the strongest groups in wrestling history: Let's take a look at the people he's asked to join. First Herald: A former Trans World Champion and now a World Heavyweight contender. Blizzard, who's held every singles title that the big leagues have had to offer. And probably the biggest reason for Crippler's drop in the polls: the offered alliance with Absolute Zero, a now former champ who though he isn't the sport's most likable figure, is probably the most sound technical wrestler in the business.

[Deyo]- I always hate to agree with you and that one Rick, but there's no question about Zero's in-ring talents and how much they'd be an asset to a reforming Millennium Foundation. And with Zero accompanied by estranged Arctic Circle teammate Blizzard along with Herald and the Canadian Crippler rounding the team out, a Millennium Foundation with this makeup would be a force to be reckoned with to say the VERY least! Still, considering the history between Herald and Absolute Zero and especially Zero's now-banned-from-ringside-bodyguard Snowblind, and with a Pay Per View Triple Threat match at Zero Tolerance shortly down the road, I'm doubting that the two could co-exist in the same group, especially with a laissez-faire attitude on leadership within the team.

[Richards]- I was thinking the same thing at first Dave, but when I thought it over, I think that it could work, and here's why: Each and every ONE of these guys has tasted sweet victory in the form of some sort of title before, and save for Zero, haven't tasted that in some time. I think that these guys might just band together, albeit reluctantly, to nab the titles back and get that sweet, sweet taste back into their mouths so they can feel the glory of victory once again, and use the strength of the group to hold onto the belts for a long, LONG time.

[Deyo]- I don't know, I guess we'll have to just wait and see. But we can't forget about the other participant of this first match either.

[Richards]- Indeed we can't, Dave. Despite horning in on the NXer's nickname, "The Iceberg" Kevin Hall is a tough competitor and has paid his dues to get to where he is today, as we've heard him saying, going through such minor league federations such as the E-WW. I've seen this guy in action, and in my opinion, he's been ready for the pros for a while, but stuck to the minor circuit for some extra ripening time. Well, whether it was his skill or his having trained with former E-WCWers Archangel and Demonknight, the Gibbs picked him to be one of the latest acquisitions on the PW roster. Crippler's a skilled wrestler, but I'm betting that he's going to be getting more than he bargained for in his return match against this PW rookie.

[Deyo]- It's Friday the 13th and the fans are getting riled up Rick, let's get to Mike Pattera in the ring.

<The bell rings.>

[Pattera]- The following extreme rules/ falls count anywhere is scheduled for one fall...

<"I'll Stick Around" by the Foo Fighters plays... The Canadian Crippler walks through the entrance and the pyro go off in the shape of a maple leaf. He then rushes the ring, slides in and raises his arms to a mix of cheering and booing fans. The camera shot switches to a ringside shot where a fan waves about a sign that reads "WELCOME BACK CRIPPLER", while another one waves about a Canadian flag. The shot switches back to the ring.>

[Pattera]- Coming first down the aisle, from Fredericton, NB Canada, weighing in at 260 pounds, the Canadian Crippler!!!

<About half the crowd is cheering for him, while the others are booing.>

[Deyo]- There's that dissipating popularity that I was referring to. Crippler doesn't seem to be too fazed though, as he's still playing to the fans that are cheering for him anyways. We can only hope that any success that comes from a new Millennium Foundation formation is worth it.

<"The kids aren't all right" by the Offspring  plays... Hall walks through the curtain and down the ramp, shaking the hands of the fans on his way to the ring.>

[Pattera]- His opponent, hailing from Kansas City, MO, weighing in at 360 pounds, "The Iceberg" Kevin Hall!!!

<The crowd reaction is mixed.>

[Deyo]- It never ceases to amaze me when a new giant emerges from the woodwork and joins the pros Rick. This guy is HUGE!

[Richards]- If you check the tale of the tape he measures in at a whopping 7'3" Dave, and if his career up to date has been any indicator, he knows how to use that size advantage VERY well.

[Deyo]- And I just noticed: Check out the FOOTWEAR on Hall!

[Richards]- Steeltoes?! <He chuckles.> Dave, I'm liking this guy already! Crippler had better hope that he's ready, 'cause it looks like "The Iceberg" came prepared, THAT'S for sure!

[Deyo]- Make no mistake, the Crippler's a tough competitor, and we'll see a few hardcore tricks out of him by the time the night's over...

<Hall arrives in the ring, backs to his corner lazily, eyeing the Crippler. The bell rings and both men spring into action.>

***The Canadian Crippler vs. "The Iceberg" Kevin Hall***

[Deyo]- And here we go and Crippler not wasting a second as he charges in there with a clothesline to stun the big man! Crippler with a backhand chop! Irish whip to the ropes now- Dropkick by the Canadian Crippler and Hall is down! Crippler on him quick with a chinlock! Adam Kent in there to check for the submission, but if Kevin Hall is going to be giving up from a hold like that, he'd might as well pack his bags to go home right now... Just as I'd thought it's Hall getting to his feet and Crippler modifying the hold into a side headlock- WRENCHING it on! "The Iceberg" tries to shove him off- but Crippler puts on the brakes and he's not going anywhere!

[Richards]- He's got a lower center of gravity Dave, and in the position that "The Iceberg" is in, it's not going to be easy to get good leverage to shove the Crippler off like that.

[Deyo]- Ho HO! But Hall has found another way to counter: With a side suplex- DOWN goes the Crippler! Both men quick to their feet- Crippler with a head full of steam- Clothesline- Both men over the top rope and down to the outside!

[Richards]- And you know what THAT means in this type of match: Business is about to pick up!

[Deyo]- You're not kidding Rick! And out here in no-man's land, I'm going to have to give the edge to Crippler, who is more well-versed in the art of the extreme-

[Richards]- I'm telling you Dave: Don't underestimate the big man. He may be more of a brawler and a technician than the Canadian Crippler, but he's no stranger to the extreme side of things.

[Deyo]- Crippler now first to get to his feet and now with a handful of hair- SLAMS his face into the steel ring steps! The Canadian Crippler the major aggressor so far in this match. Crippler climbing back to the inside, I'm not so sure that's a wise-

[Richards]- Woah DOCTOR! Crippler was up on the apron and flipped into a moonsault quicker than you can say Ambesol! And he LEVELED "The Iceberg" with it! Outstanding!

[Deyo]- You're not kidding! I thought that the Crippler was going back into the ring to catch his breath, but he's just continuing to lay it on! Crippler now over the steel rail- He has a steel chair and he's folding it up. The Canadian Crippler tossing the chair into the ring… but the ref is sweeping it out of there! Crippler doesn’t seem too keen on that! Now... The Crippler grabbing ANOTHER chair and climbing over the rail with it... Hall getting to his feet- Crippler winding up- NO! Hall caught the chair right before it hit him! A power struggle now and Hall pushing all his weight down and with the advantage- Crippler with a boot to the midsection! The chair is dropped- Crippler- DDT onto the chair by the Canadian Crippler!

[Richards]- Crippler really pouring it on with a good reaction there that caught the big man off guard and dented that steel chair! I'm surprised by the lack of ring rust from Crippler and how he's really manhandled "The Iceberg" so far...

[Deyo]- He's a former Battle for the Crown champion for a reason, Rick. This must be a real wake-up call for the newcomer Hall, who's finding out in this trial by fire just what it's like to play in the big leagues.

[Richards]- Right you are there, Dave. No one's going to care whose coattails he's coming in on or what independent federation titles he's held when it comes right down to it. "The Iceberg" is going to have to prove himself on this playing field and get used to it if he's to go anywhere in the PW.

[Deyo]- Crippler was taking a moment there for a breather after that opening flurry, but it looks like he's raring to do some more damage...

[Richards]- Hall had taken quite a beating already, it may have been a good idea to try for a cover...

[Deyo]- But it's the Crippler to his feet and bringing Hall up with a handful of hair- Knife-edge chop to the chest by the Crippler! Now scooping Hall up- OH! Big sledge by the big man and Crippler taking a knee! Hall- Kneelift right in the face of the Crippler and the Canadian Crippler is down!

[Richards]- Hall was lucky he woke up when he did, 'cause I think that the Crippler was about to attempt a slam down onto that steel chair!

[Deyo]- Could be Rick... But now it's Kevin Hall holding onto the ring apron and stomping away at the Crippler... and from this camera angle- Look at that Rick!!

[Richards]- I'm seeing it, but I'm not sure if I'm BELIEVING it! "The Iceberg"'s steel toe boots that he's wearing ALSO have a set of steel HEELS! That HAS to be hurting the Crippler something AWFUL!

[Deyo]- Adam Kent's out there, but according to the rules, I'm pretty sure that those are legal!! Never in my career have I seen something quite like this, but it's no disqualification- Wait! Adam Kent getting in there and trying to pull Hall back! Finally someone has a little common sense! I'm not sure what Kent's saying to Hall, but what CAN he say: This is an extreme rules match! Nevertheless, something had to be done before the Crippler was seriously injured there!

[Richards]- Well whatever Kent said it seems to have had the desired effect as "The Iceberg" is hauling Crippler up the hard way and walking him over toward the steel entrance ramp... Side headlock applied by Hall...

[Deyo]- He's marching him up that ramp and toward the arena entrance! Looks like this one may be spilling over into the lockerroom area! Hall stopping right before the curtains though- Closed fist to the face by Kevin Hall and down goes the Canadian Crippler! OH! A boot to the ribs there by "The Iceberg"!

[Richards]- I'm betting that the Crippler is thinking twice right about now about asking for this to be an extreme rules match! A steeltoe to the ribs'll do that to a man.

[Deyo]- You're not kidding! But you really have to give the Crippler some credit here: He's showed a lot of intestinal fortitude to have taken an onslaught like this and still not have given up!

[Richards]- I'm not sure if he's brave or just STUPID, Dave: When it comes right down to it, when you're facing competition at this level, asking for an extreme match is like asking for a potential career-ending match.... And if Hall there punishes him much more, the Crippler's return match just might be his LAST!

[Deyo]- I can't argue with you there Dave- If the tide doesn't turn soon, Crippler should definitely be throwing in the towel so he can live to fight another day! And Hall, after that closed fist to the face has been all over the Crippler and trying to get him to do just that, but the crazy Cannuck is hanging on despite Hall's wrenching on that bearhug tighter and tighter!

[Richards]- It's only a matter of time, Dave, and "The Iceberg" may not even HAVE to make Crippler give up: He's forcing the ol' oxygen out of Crippler's lungs, and I don't care HOW tenacious you are, you ain't fighting back without oxygen!

[Deyo]- Crippler still trying to fight it though!

[Richards]- I tell ya', the guy just doesn't know when to quit!

[Deyo]- Bellringer by the Crippler! But Hall shaking it off and hanging on! Amazing! ANOTHER bellringer! Hall lifting him- Belly-to-belly suplex down onto the steel of the entranceway!!! Crippler holding his back and he HAS be in agony!

<The pockets of fans that had been booing the Crippler before are now cheering on Iceberg.>

[Deyo]- Iceberg shaking the cobwebs from those bellringers out, and he rally should be going for a cover!

[Richards]- I'm not so sure that Crippler will even WANT to get up after what he's gone through Dave, much less kick out. I think that "The Iceberg" is probably just trying to get his bearings back to finish this thing properly.

[Deyo]- Aaaaaand... Hall covers and hooks the leg. This one's over: 1- 2 -3- NO!!!! Crippler's shoulder must have BARELY gotten up off the floor, because Adam Kent is ruling that that was only a two count!

[Richards]- WHAT?! I can't believe it! Hall's arguing with Kent and I don't blame him! Crippler's barely moving at ALL! There's no WAY he got a shoulder up!

[Deyo]- "Iceberg" finally giving up on the argument and covering again! 1 -2 -NO!!! This time there's no DOUBT that the Crippler got that shoulder up as he did it QUITE emphatically! Hall looking frustrated and getting to his feet while he pulls Crippler up by the seat of his tights- He's bringing him over toward the spotlights- TOSSES CRIPPLER!!

<Crippler flies through the air and crashes card into the side of one of the mounted spotlights, causing it to snap from its base and crash on the floor, sending shattered glass flying. The house lights in the Dome flicker slightly.>

[Richards]- Holy CRIPES!! Crippler must have shorted something on impact! "The Iceberg" isn't pulling ANY stops!

[Deyo]- You're not kidding Rick! Let's hope that Crippler has enough sense left to end this match before he's seriously hurt! Hall now following up on the situation and walking through the mess of the broken light- OH! Crippler had a piece of metal or something and he just hit Hall in the kneecap with it! And now the other kneecap! Hall's hurt!

[Richards]- He must be using a piece that broke off of the light or something- I can't believe that the Crippler is having this much fire to be fighting back after what he's been through!

[Deyo]- And now the Canadian Crippler has Hall stunned- OH!!! Big low blow! And that'll be enough to take the big man off his feet! And I can't believe it, but Crippler's pushing himself up!! And the supporters he DOES have here tonight are screaming like crazy! Crippler with a handful of hair and pulling Hall up to his feet- hooks the leg- FISHERMAN'S SUPLEX ONTO THE BROKEN GLASS!!! 1 -2 -NO!!! Crippler just COULDN'T hold on!!

[Richards]- How these guys even find the energy for moves like that after taking such a beating is far beyond me, Dave!

[Deyo]- You're not kidding! Both men are down: Crippler's holding onto his ribs and Hall seems to be in a buttload of pain from Crippler hitting him with that piece of the spotlight or whatever it was! And look- We can see the back of "The Iceberg" now as he's rolling over and look at those jagged shards of glass embedded into his back and drawing a mess of blood! That's just insane!! I remind the weak of heart viewers that this is probably not the BEST mach to be watching right now...

[Richards]- They should have known THAT when Mike Pattera called it an extreme rules match, Dave! If anyone or their kids are watching now, it's their own damn faults!

[Deyo]- I'll have to agree with you there... Kevin Hall now pulling some of those pieces of glass out, and I'll have to admit that even I'm having a little trouble watching this ghastly display!

[Richards]- <sarcastically> Just close your eyes Dave, I'll tell you when it's over.

[Deyo]- Very funny.

<The fights flicker slightly.>

[Richards]- Well, looks like someone didn’t want to seeing it…

[Deyo]- I’m told that our technicians in the back are getting on the situation and trying to rectify that problem already, Rick… Hall up and pulling Crippler up to his feet- Crippler swings and lands a closed fist! And another! Hall- BIG headbutt!!

[Richards]- Crippler keeps fighting back, but the big man just keep knocking him back down! I think that "The Iceberg" has a pretty good feeling that Crippler's just taken too much damage!

[Deyo]- But knocking the Crippler down isn't going to be winning him any matches, Rick! "Iceberg"- OH!! Another kick with those steeltoe boots to the Crippler's ribs! Hall now hauling the Canadian Crippler up- scoops him- NO! Reversal by the Crippler into a cradle! 1 -2 -3! NO!!! NO! It was only a two count! Hall just BARELY stretched out of it!

[Richards]- "The Iceberg"'s up quickly and he looks frustrated Dave! And I can't say that I blame him- I'm not sure if ANYONE can believe that the Canadian Crippler is STILL fighting back! But Hall isn't getting anything at all done just standing over Crippler like that while he tries to catch his breath. Every second the rookie wastes trying to think of a way to put this guy away, is an extra second that the professional league veteran has to recover just a little bit more!

[Deyo]- Well, it looks like Hall is finally deciding on a course of action to take as he's cautiously bringing the Crippler up this time- Kneelift by Hall! He's setting him up!

[Richards]- This could end it! It could be time for the Shipwreck powerbomb!!

[Deyo]- Hall with Crippler! Up and- NO! Reversal- HURRICANRANA BY THE CRIPPLER!!! AND HE SENT HALL FLYING OFF THE RAMP!!! Hall was just thrown CLEAR off the ramp by that frankensteiner and into the concrete below- we have a camera down there now and he's looking hurt!

[Richards]- I think it may have been the steel rail that broke his fall, Dave, but we didn't have a camera in there in time!

[Deyo]- Either way it looks like Hall is in AWFULLY bad shape and that he's had his bell rung but good! Adam Kent's having no choice here folks: Both men are down and he's starting a count! ( 1!) Neither man is moving! What a disappointing end this would be to an INCREDIBLE ( 2!) opening match on Throttle if this ends in a double countout!

[Richards]- But if these ( 3!) guys were smart, they'd BOTH stay down and settle the score on some other occasion! ( 4!) Things have gone WAY overboard here, and it's about time they realize their limitations! ( 5!) There WILL be other days!

[Deyo]- Agreed Rick. These two have given and ( 6!) taken WAY too much punishment tonight. Whatever happens, you can bet that these two haven't ( 7!)seen the last of each other!

[Richards]- I'd bet on that for SURE, Dave! And I'll go one further ( 8!) and bet that Crippler will be coming more prepared next time round!

[Deyo]- No doubt about it- <About half of the crowd gets to their feet and cheers loudly> And Crippler just rolled over to his side!! The count has stopped!!! Adam Kent has stopped the count and this match is going to continue!! Crippler now pushing himself up to his feet... And look at THAT! "The Iceberg" is pulling himself to his feet with the help of the steel rail! It would appear that NEITHER of these men know when to quit! Crippler up- running- MISSILE DROPKICK OFF THE SIDE OF THE RAMP- RIGHT ON TARGET!!

[Richards]- He sent "The Iceberg" into the rail again with that move! And the big man's back is bleeding up a storm!

[Deyo]- You're not kidding, Rick! But that move had to have taken its toll on the Crippler as well, not to mention the compounding with his previous injuries! But it's the Crippler up to his feet and pulling Hall up! Looks like it's time for the Canadian Cracker!!! Crippler- NO! Hall shoved him away just in time, but here come the Crippler with ahead full of steam- Oh my GOD!!!! Crippler just ran to meet Hall and was COLD-CLOCKED with a big right hand and he looks like he's out cold!!! Hall covering: 1 -2 -3!!! YES!!! Hall has defeated the Crippler!!

<"The kids aren't all right" by the Offspring plays...>

[Deyo]- But wait a second- Look at Hall's HAND! He's wearing a brass knuckle! Where in blazes did he GET that?!?!!

[Richards]- I'm seeing it too Dave, but I'm not sure where he got it from!

[Pattera]- Ladies and gentlemen, your winner: Kevin "The Iceberg" Hall!!!!

[Deyo]- Wait... I'm getting word that we've got a replay coming...

<The shot of a medical team coming out to assist both match participants off cuts to a replay of Hall, while pulling himself to his feet, reaching with one of his hands into his boot, and pulling something out.>

[Deyo]- THERE'S where he got them!

<The clip ends, and the shot cuts to the ringside announcer's table.>

[Richards]- Either way, it's Kevin Hall coming out of this match with a BIG feather in his cap from beating the Canadian Crippler here tonight! And the key to his victory was all about one element- coming into a match WELL-PREPARED! I have a feeling that when these two met again that it'll be on a much more even playing field, and that the Crippler will have taken a page or two out of this impressive rookie's book, 'cause you can bet that if either of these men ever sets foot in a ring again, that this war is FAR from over!

<There's a sudden short moment of silence among the announcers as David Deyo puts his hand up to his headset and appears to be listening closely.>

[Deyo]- Ladies and gentlemen, I've just received word that one of the three men scheduled to duke it out for the World Title at this month's Zero Tolerance Pay Per View, Absolute Zero, has just arrived in the PW Dome!

[Richards]- Zero!? He's not even on tonight's card, what in the world could HE possibly want?

<The picture cuts to a clip of Absolute Zero wearing a white tux and blue tinted sunglasses in the backstage area.>

[Deyo]- I don't know, Rick. But from the looks of him, he sure isn't dressed to be stepping into the ring. We'll just have to wait and see how things unfold as this evening of non-stop action continues! But up next, we’ll be seeing Esquire stepping into a PW ring for the very first time against none other than the Bombinator. This grudge between these two had appeared to have started on PW Shockwave when we saw a mystery man, now known as Esquire, make his presence known in a BIG way during a match between Bombinator and Barry D’Live.

<The picture cuts to a clip of Esquire standing at ringside during the Barry D’Live vs. Bombinator match from last Shockwave. In the bottom left hand corner of the screen is a Shockwave logo with "08 . 08 . 99" written underneath it. Bombinator is arguing with referee Danny Dickson, telling him to order Esquire to leave. While Bombinator and the ref are distracted, Esquire climbs into the ring and delivers and brainbuster to Barry D’Live. Danny Dickson sees the interference and calls for the bell.>

[Richards]- From there, Barry D’Live was awarded the match and things got really got out of hand.

<Another clip plays of Bombinator scooping D’Live up and laying him out with a Meltdown powerbomb. After this, he goes on to perform the same maneuver on referee Danny Dickson.>

[Richards]- What appalling actions by Bombinator, he truly went to far that evening.

[Deyo]- I couldn’t believe my eyes either. And we remind all the viewers at home, as well as the athletes in the back, that actions such as these don’t go without consequences here in the PW. Presidents Brian and Gary Gibbs were swift in handing down a VERY hefty fine to the Bombinator for placing his hands on an official. But later, in an interview, we found out that this new man, Esquire, had motivation behind his actions, and that he’d more than intended to disqualify Bombinator, which is what sparked the violent outburst.

[Richards]- That’s right, Dave. But the question on many people’s minds is whether or not Bombinator will be able to keep his cool tonight or not. But even more interesting will be if Esquire can restrain himself as well. We’ve all heard that these two have some ring history together outside the PW. Esquire will be in there to extract some well-deserved revenge on Bombinator after he was put on the shelf for over a year during an ugly incident.

[Deyo]- Lets just hope this one stays clean, Rick. These two men are fine athletes and it would be a shame to see either of them suspended from action. Looks like Jim Pattera is about to start things off.

[Pattera]- The following match is scheduled for ONE FALL!!

<The lights go dim in the arena. The sound of the whistle of a bomb dropping, then exploding plays and pyroclastic smoke in the form of mushroom clouds rises at the sides of the entrance ramp. Bombinator steps through the curtains and a black spotlight shines down on him, causing his tights and hair to glow.>

[Pattera]- First, coming down the aisle, weighing in at 324 pounds, from Three Mile Island, here is The BOMBINATOR!!!

<Bombinator proceeds toward the ring, the fans booing him every step of the way. He steps through the ropes and the lights come back on.>

[Richards]- Boy does this man look intense tonight! It looks like all emotion has been sucked dry from him, as though he’s a machine with one purpose: to beat the Hell out of Esquire!

<Beethoven’s 5th symphony begins to play. Esquire steps through the entrance wearing a tux and has his hair slicked back. The fans boo him by he strides right by them.

[Pattera]- And the challenger, weighing in at 295  pounds, from Chicago, Illinois, here is ESQUIRE!!!

<With every step towards the ring, he begins to pick up speed. He then dashes to the ring and slides under the bottom rope.>

[Deyo]- Whoa! Low blow uppercut there by Esquire! He’s started on the track for revenge EARLY in this bout!

<The bell rings.>

***Esquire vs. The Bombinator***

[Deyo]- Esquire now climbing under Bombinator- Hoisting him up on his shoulders- Samoan drop by the newcomer! Now off the ropes- Drops the elbow! Esquire to his feet quick and going for Bombinator’s legs! Spinning around- Figure four leglock by Esquire!

[Richards]- Impressive start here by Esquire… And he’s wearing a frikken’ TUX! This man’s unbelievable!

[Deyo]- But Bombinator still has a lot of fight left in him, Rick! With that height advantage of his, anywhere besides the dead center of the ring is close enough to grab a rope, and that’s just what he’s going for…. YES! Bombinator holding onto the ropes and referee Danny Dickson calling for the break…. But Esquire’s just not letting go! Dickson counting! ( 1! 2! 3!) And Esquire releasing the hold! This man is unrelenting a looks like he’s out to do to Bombinator what was done to him in spades!

[Richards]- Let’s just hope that he doesn’t let emotions take control of his judgment in the process!

[Deyo]- Esquire now to his feet again and Bombinator’s using the ropes to pull himself up- Esquire right in there- hooks him- Takes him over with a suplex! Rolls for the cover: 1- Woah HO! Bombinator just THREW him off! Bombinator and Esquire up- Locking up! Bombinator now slowly backing Esquire up into the corner- BIG backhand punch by Bombinator!

[Richards]- THAT’LL leave a mark! The big man now using the sole of his boot to choke Esquire out in the corner! And Dickson calling for the break! Bombinator now with the newcomer- Irish whip- reversal by Esquire- And Esquire sends the Bombinator to the turnbuckles with authority! Esquire running in- SPEARS Bombinator into the corner!! What a move!!!

[Deyo]- And Esquire not finished! He’s hoisting Bombinator up to the top! What are we going to see here?! Esquire following him up there! Superplex by Esquire is blocked! Punch to the leg by Esquire- Up and- SUPERPLEX BY ESQUIRE!!!! But- he’s not covering!

[Richards]- That may be a rookie mistake by Esquire! We’ve seen it happen a million times if we’ve seen it once in this sport… Esquire pulling Bombinator up by the hair… Hooks him- Swinging neckbreaker by Esquire! Well Dave, I’m impressed that so far for the newcomer that this match has appeared to be all business, save maybe for that opening cheapshot!

[Deyo]- I have to agree with you there, Rick! He’s kept his cool and has been by and large the aggressor in this match! Esquire with him up again- Irish whip to the corner! Bombinator’s in a lot of trouble here if we see another spear… But it’s Esquire surprising everyone again and taking his time toward the corner… Now he’s in there and setting Bombinator up for something… Vertical suplex- NO! Brainbuster by Esquire! That’s what he used to disqualify Barry D’Live, Rick! Looks like he’s sending out some sort of message to Bombinator.

[Richards]- I have a feeling that the message is supposed to read "You’re about to lose", Dave, and I also have a feeling that the brainbuster we just saw was a setup for a grand finale!

[Deyo]- Esquire up and with a handful of hair to bring Bombinator to a vertical base- SLAMS his face into the turnbuckle! Esquire in complete control here and turning Bombinator around- OH! Short clothesline by the newcomer! Bombinator didn’t see that one coming at ALL! And it’s Esquire with Bombinator, and he’s setting the big man up on the top again!! Are we going to see a SECOND superplex?!

[Richards]- I’m doubting it…

[Deyo]- Superpl- NO!! Super BRAINBUSTER there by Esquire!!! This one’s over! The cover! 1- 2 and 3.

<The bell rings and Beethoven’s 5th symphony plays…>

[Pattera]- Your winner, ESQUIRE!!!

<Esquire rips his arm away as the referee tries to raise it, then rolls out of the ring to make his way toward the back.>

[Deyo]- what a move there by Esquire! He was really working the neck before that with the neckbreaker and short clothesline, and I thought he was going to go for a second Superplex, but he pulls off the Super brainbuster instead!

[Richards]- He calls it "Money Talks", Dave, and he just about tore Bombinator’s head off with it! Impressive win by the newcomer! Cripes, he didn’t even take off his tux… I mean, he barely even broke a sweat!

[Richards]- And now that's a THIRD straight loss for the Bombinator! When he realizes what just happened, he won't be a happy camper!

[Deyo]- Before we go onto our next match, I'm told that we have an update on the whereabouts of TSK's Smokin John Hayes, who has been uncharacteristically quiet as of late, to say the least! Let's go to that now…

<The shot switches to the interior of what looks like a penitentiary. The camera slowly walks down the prison hallway. The lowest forms of life are tucked away safely behind the cold steel bars. The camera zooms in on a few of the prisoners. Their cold evil stares cause the camera man to wet his pants and quickly move along. Each and every prisoner has sheer hatred in their eyes. At the end of the hallway, a guard punches in a few codes and a solid steel door opens.>

[Guard]- Now that was death row. If one of the cells was open, you'd have been dead. This area is just as deadly if one of the inmates gets out. Welcome to solitary confinement. I'm not sure why in the world you'd want to do this, but this is where he is. If you get into any trouble and need assistance, press this button.

<The guard hands the camera man a panic button and then proceeds to unlock a cell door. The camera begins to shake from fear as the door slowly opens. The camera is pointed straight down showing the dirty cement floor. As it begins to show more of the cell, a huge throw rug is seen. On the rug is a 35" TV, a mini refrigerator, a work out bench and
a recliner. Sitting comfortably in the recliner is Smokin John Hayes...with Double D!>

[Hayes]- It's about time you made it! Thank God you left Tommy behind. I'm sure all of you are wondering just what the <bleep> I'm doing here. I'll tell you. I've been arrested for kicking the <bleep> out of everyone in the E-WCW, oops I mean PW, just like I said I was gonna do. I warned everyone that some heads were gonna roll. Instead of taking
their beatings like men, they had to cry to the police. "Smokin John is too vicious! We can't compete with him!" Everyone is doing whatever they can to keep me down but it ain't working. Hell, I've even been wrongfully accused of the smoke bombings in the PW. <Bleep>, I get blamed for everything!

<Double D jumps up from the recliner and opens the mini fridge. She pulls out a cold beer and tosses it to Hayes.>

[Hayes]- I know what's going through all of your heads. You can't figure out why I'm in solitary confinement with a TV, a fridge, Double D and these other items. It's very simple...I get what I want or I <bleep>ing take it! The cops are scared of me just like everyone in Planet Wrestling. They realize it's useless to fight me, so they give in to my
demands.

<He pauses to chug the entire beer.>

[Hayes]- Zero and Herald, prepare yourselves. I wouldn't be at all surprised to see the two of you join forces with the Canadian Cripple. Jump on his Millennium Falcon and take off for another galaxy! There's not a group of wrestlers on this planet or in this galaxy that can hang with TSK! Zero, since your bed buddy Snowblind can't be in your corner, you said you'd have someone else. Great! Knowing you, you'd probably like it to be Herald. I don't care who the hell you have with you because I will rip your eyes out and shove them up your butt so you can watch me kick your ass all night long! Since everyone wants this to be a fair match and they're demanding to see a real champion crowned, I have an idea...how about a 3 way lumberjack match? The lumberjacks won't be any ordinary lumberjacks, they'll be cops. Their sole purpose will be to keep others from jumping into the action. Once and for all the fans will get to see the true World Champion...Smokin John Hayes!

<Double D jumps into the lap of Hayes.>

[Hayes]- Like I said, I GET what I want and I want your head on a platter! TSK isn't playing any games. <The camera man begins backing up as Smokin John gets out of his chair and walks towards the camera. The camera man is pushing his panic button like crazy.> We're kicking asses, taking names, and more importantly...<the cell door opens and the camera man backs out of the cell>...we're taking the gold!

<The cell door slams shut as PW Tron fades to black.>

[Deyo]- So THAT'S where Hayes has been! There had been rumours that John Hayes had been incarcerated following a match on Throttle between "The Natural" and Zack Logan, but I'd thought that it was just that: A rumour!

[Richards]- I guess not Dave! It would appear that Hayes has been put away. And what about that suggested police officer as lumberjacks match? It’ll be interesting to see what Hayes’s opponents have to say about THAT one!

[Deyo]- Well, we may have the opportunity to hear what the former champ has to say, ‘cause as we saw him in the building earlier tonight… But all that’s a ways away: I’m still having trouble getting over our two first matches tonight! And if the impressive performances of Kevin Hall and Esquire were of any indication of what some of the new talent in Planet Wrestling is capable of, then you’d better buckle your safety belts and get ready for this next match where the AngelKiller’s Kamakize will be squaring off against the bizarre Russian, the Flying Muskrat!

[Richards]- This Muskrat has impressed me much, Dave. The only people he seems to like picking on aren’t even wrestlers, but cab drivers, and our own Tommy Glide! And just like the Bombinator was fined for his heinous actions, let me ASSURE you that this <sarcastic> Flying Muskrat character <normal tone) will be getting what’s coming to him in really short order! But enough chit-chat, let’s see Akira put an end to this rookie winning streak!

[Deyo]- I’m with you, Rick!

<The bell rings and "Halls of Illusions" by Insane Clown Posse begins to play. Marcus Draknor steps through the entrance-way. The crowd begins to cheer as they seem to know who’s coming next. "Kamakize" Akira Takahashi takes a few steps through the entrance and the fans go wild with cheers.>

[Pattera]- First, being accompanied down the aisle by Marcus Draknor, weighing in at 210 pounds, hailing from Tokyo Japan, one-half of the former World Tag Team Champions, "Kamakize" Akira TakaHASHI!!!

<Akira climbs into the ring and waits calmly in the corner appearing to meditate.>

[Richards]- Akira is by far the fan favorite going into this match. Just listen to that crowd reaction! NX sure knows how to keep their thumbs on the pulse of these fans. They’re always giving them what they want to see!

[Deyo]- Not only that, Rick, but Akira Takahashi has been wrestling among the world’s finest athletes for YEARS now. And on top of that, he’s crowned his achievements by holding half of the World Tag Team titles for months at a time. This is no man to be taken lightly. One has to wonder how this Flying Muskrat newcomer will fair against his level of expertise. I’m thinking Muskrat sure has his work cut out for him!

<A heavy metal version of "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" begins to blare of the sound system. The fans seem unsure how to react to the peculiar song at first, but when The Flying Muskrat steps through the curtains and proceeds down the ramp, the Planet Dome is filled with nothing but boos.>

[Pattera]- And now, being accompanied to the ring by Willy the Whale Harpooner, weighing in at 490 pounds, he hails from Nizhniy, Russia, The Flying MuskRAT!!!

<The Flying Muskrat climbs into the ring and steps up to Kamakize. They both look at each other intensely.>

[Deyo]- Sweet mother of God! Just look at the SIZE difference between these two! Muskrat looked tall in his interviews, but not THIS tall! He simply TOWERS over Kamakize! And that tall afro on his head just makes him look even more imposing! You’ve really got to wonder what’s going through this man’s mind right about now. They both look incredibly focused. Referee Danny Dickson looks like he’s about to get things rolling here. Lets just hope we don’t have a complete mismatch one our hands folks!

<The bell rings.>

[Deyo]- What’s this? Kama is bowing to Muskrat before things get fully underway here. What a display of respect. But Muskrat’s just… wait… what the Hell is THIS Rick? What’s he doing!?

[Richards]- He’s shaking his butt around like a madman, Dave. I believe he calls that maneuver "The Monkey Dance". What he’s trying to accomplish with it is another story…

[Deyo]- Well if he’s trying to piss off Kamakize, then mission accomplished! Kick to the legs drops the big Muskrat down to one knee! Akira off the ropes now, dropkick to the knee of the Muskrat sends him to the mat! Kamakize now telling him to "SMEG OFF", folks. He simply won’t tolerate that kind of disrespect from the newcomer! Kamakize turning his back to Muskrat… OH!! He just nailed a standing moonsault across the body of The Muskrat! And he follows it up with a front flip senton splash! Talk about an impressive display of his aerial abilities! He just doesn’t let up! Kama quick to the second rope, it looks like he’s going for a shooting star press! And he DOES- but Muskrat gets the knees up!

[Richards]- Just look at Akira’s face! That knocked the wind right out of him! He shouldn’t underestimate The Flying Muskrat by using high risk moves that early on in the match.

[Deyo]- Muskrat’s slowly getting to his feet. Looks like we’re going to see what this big man can do! He’s grinding Kama’s face into the canvas with poorly made wooden sandals of his! He’s really twisting that foot some hard. Wait, oh my God! Those sandals left splinters all over Kama’s face! "Kamakize" is starting to bleed all over the place, and this match has barely even started! He pulls Kama to his feet… Running bulldog by the Muskrat drives his face into the mat once again! There are blood stains already amounting in the ring! And now Muskrat all over him with a series of closed fists, finishing off with a nasty face rake! Danny Dickson’s in there with the warning.

[Richards]- Maybe this guy’s onto something with these aspirations to be the PW Extreme Champ. Kamakize still looks like he doesn’t know what’s hit him. Marcus Draknor on the outside looks pretty concerned. He’s trying to get the fans behind him, but The Flying Muskrat is seriously dominating here!

[Deyo]- Muskrat hauling Kama to his feet with a handful of hair. He’s BASHING Kama’s head into the turnbuckle like its going out of style! Dickson’s again right in there making sure things don’t get out of hand. Muskrat’s placing Akira on the top rope. What could a man of this size be attempting here? He’s taking a few steps back. HO! He sent Akira flying into the outside guardrail with a running dropkick!

[Richards]- For a man of his size, Muskrat can really move when he wants to! Lets see a replay of that.

<A replay comes up of Muskrat doing the running dropkick. The camera shot follows Akira where he crashes into the guardrail. There’s another flicker in the house lights, this time, not as noticeable as before.>

[Deyo]- But he’s not heading out after Kamakize! He’s shaking his butt in the center of the ring again! Its that, that…THAT MONKEY DANCE!! This is unbelievable! Marcus is helping Kamakize to his feet and wiping the blood from his face. Akira looks like he’s ready to blow as he spots Muskrat doing that damn dance again. Akira on the ring apron, he springboards off the top rope catches Muskrat offguard with a dropkick. Muskrat stumbling off balance, but he’s still on his feet! Kama off the ropes, jumping clotheslines takes the big man down! He locks on a side headlock while Muskrat is down. He’s really got that holding sunken in good! The crowd is again behind Kama as he’s got Muskrat on the run! But wait now, Muskrat is powering his way up to one knee! Amazing! He’s up to both feet now! Oh HO! Kamakize stopped him DEAD in his tracks by spinning around and delivering a DTT! He’s now stomping away at the knees of Muskrat, still trying to take out that vertical base of his.

[Richards]- Great tactic by Kamakize. Destroy the foundation and the whole building comes crashing down in a pile of ruble. Looks like he’s sized his opponent up much more now.

[Deyo]- Akira applying a figure four leglock! This is unreal! Those long hairy legs of Muskrat’s are prime targets for such a hold. Muskrat’s in trouble here. Danny Dickson is looking for the submission. Muskrat simply isn’t answering! He’s clenching his teeth in pain! Dickson asking him again! Oh my! Muskrat just yelled "YOU’RE AS NUTTY AS A FRUITCAKE" in Dickson’s face! Muskrat is determined not to give up! He’s using his weight to turn the figure four over! He’s trying… almost… he does!! Now the pain’s on Akira! But he easily releases the hold. Both men make their way to their feet. They’re going toe to toe, blow for blow! Bad idea by Akira as Muskrat quickly getting the upper hand and continues pummeling Akira’s bloodied face. Muskrat grabs him and lifts him up… vertical suplex sending Akira all the way to the other side of the ring! He’s all over Akira, dragging him to his feet one more time. He’s setting him up for a powerbomb, and he DRIVES his back square against the mat! Muskrat is getting pretty vicious here. He drags Kama over to the corner and drapes him across the bottom turnbuckle. Muskrat backs up, and runs in with a knee to the face! He backs up again, and this time comes in with a diving shoulderblock!! Whoa, that one really snapped Akira’s head back.! Muskrat has Akira up again- swinging neckbreaker!

[Richards]- Kamakize is in rough shape in there. He’s just laying there on the mat. I don’t think he knows where he is, Dave!

[Deyo]- The Flying Muskrat again bringing Kama to his feet the hard way. Jesus! He’s dragging his face along the ropes with a side headlock! Those splinter wounds are bleeding like crazy! He’s doing a full circle with Akira, rubbing his face on all the top ropes around the ring! And now what’s this? Looks like he’s setting him up for a tombstone piledriver, but he’s really burrowing his chin into Kama’s crotch! OH my GOD!!! The Hickory Nutcracker, the ultimate low blow! Akira looks like he doesn’t know where he is! This one could be over!! Muskrat with a cover! 1!… 2!… 3!

<The bell rings.>

[Pattera]- Here is your winner, THE FLYING MUSKRAT!!!

<Muskrat and Will the Whale Harpooner celebrate in the ring while "Kamakize" Akira Takahashi leave for the dressing room.>

[Deyo]- What a victory by The Flying Muskrat! He really dominated in there tonight! Impressive debut for this new talented individual. And as much as it pains me to say it, or even contemplate it, he definitely has a future here in the PW. God help us all…

[Richards]- As for Akira and Marcus, they should really research their opponents a little more before stepping into the ring. This wasn’t just a victory tonight, it was a slaughter! I wonder if the NX AngelKiller will even ever want a second shot at the man. If I’d be him, I’d just steer clear…

[Deyo]- Again, I hate to say it, but I think you’re right, Rick. Akira was outmatched, especially considering he was out of his championship caliber tag team element. Up next through, we’ll be having the night’s Main Event, where Mr. Conspiracy Theory himself, Kristoph Kahn, will be having his shot at Trans World gold!

[Richards]- That’s right Dave, but you have to wonder whether or not Akira’s NX teammate will fare any better than he did in there against-

<The Four Horsemen by Metallica begins to play and the fans immediately react with boos and other derogatory chants.>

[Deyo]- Uh oh! The fans are getting ugly! They know what that music MEANS!

<Absolute Zero emerges from the entrance decked out in his white tux. Over his shoulder hangs the defunct E-WCW World Title.>

[Deyo]- And Zero's STILL carrying that old E-WCW belt around with him! Seems he still feels he deserves to be the champ around here!

<As he walks slowly down the aisle, he taunts and teases the fans who shout at him from behind the guardrail. He even takes a mock swing at one and chuckles. He approaches the announcers table at ringside.>

[Richards]- Looks like he's coming over here, Dave…. He must have something to say.

[Deyo]- Unfortunately, you’re probably right… But when DOESN'T he?

<Zero snatches a mic from the table and steps up onto the ring apron. He pauses to acknowledge a sole sign reading "Zero is God" being held up by a fan in the front row. He points at it, nods his head, and steps into the ring. He climbs to the second rope and raises his E-WCW belt, but is only met with even stronger boos from the crowd. He jumps down and stomps furiously to the opposite corner, once again climbing to the second rope and raising his belt. Again the boos persist, so he yells back at the crowd before stepping down.>

[Deyo]- Now THIS picture sure isn't complete. Snowblind, that so-called "bodyguard", is NOWHERE to be found! Its good to see the Gibbs brothers are enforcing some order around here, Rick. Snowblind has always been a thorn in the side of Absolute Zero's opponents.

[Richards]- Absolute Zero is a resilient man though, Dave. Who knows what trick he has up his sleeves next. Even after last Shockwave on Monday when IceBerg defeated Snowblind with help from Herald, Absolute Zero was already seemed to be planning on having someone new at ringside. Lets hear what he has on his mind!

<Absolute Zero removes his sunglasses and begins to speak into the mic.>

[Absolute Zero]- Y'know folks, last Monday at Shockwave I learnt a valuable lesson. <He points out to the crowd with a sweeping motion.> And if most of you goddamn idiots out there had half a brain to think with, YOU would've learnt the same damn thing. But the fact is you don't, and you didn't. No matter HOW hard you jackasses out there try to put your minds to it, you STILL wouldn't be able to realize this simple, and OBVIOUS concept…

<Zero looks down, shakes his head and chuckles.>

[Absolute Zero]- And that is: Planet Wrestling sucks hardcore <bleep>.

<The fans boo and even toss a few items into the ring.>

[Absolute Zero]- See! SEE! Even when it's spoon-fed to down your little throats, you STILL deny it! But what it comes down to is this: ANY presidents too damn foolish to see that an athlete of my caliber truly deserves a bodyguard to protect myself from THOSE bastards <He points to the backstage area.> is too damn incompetent to run an organization like this. What nobody seems to realize is that I'M the glue holding this second-rate federation together! I'M the one the fans come to boo, cheer, or WHATEVER the Hell they please! I'M the best goddamn athlete this sport has seen! <He raises the belt up.> I'M the only one who EVER deserved to call themselves the World Champ! And if THESE aren't reasons enough to have extra security behind me, then I don't know WHAT is!

<Zero smiles and chuckles as the fans boo him. He approaches the ropes nearest the entrance and looks out at it and continues to smile.>

[Absolute Zero]- That's right folks. I'm here tonight to present to you my latest investment in personal protection!

<"Loco" by Coal Chamber begins to play. Herald runs out to the ring in his kimono, taking it off and throwing it to the floor. Zero back up to the other side of the ring.>

[Richards]- Oh, PLEASE no! Tell me that Herald hasn’t joined Zero! Tell me that Hayes way WRONG!!

[Absolute Zero]- What the HELL!?! This isn't…!

<Herald slides into the ring and takes Zero down with a clothesline. Zero drops the mic and his belt. He proceeds to climb on top of Zero and pummel him in the head with a series of closed fists.>

[Deyo]- Holy crap! I think its safe to say Absolute Zero wasn't expecting Herald to come out!

<"The Four Horsemen" by Metallica begins to play. A man about the same size a Absolute Zero comes running down the aisle dressed in a black suit and wearing a mask identical to Absolute Zero's when he wrestles. The crowd doesn't seem to know what to think.>

[Richards]- Herald's got some company! I hate to say it Dave, but who the Hell IS this masked man!? Is this Absolute Zero's new bodyguard?!

[Deyo]- I'll have to assume it is Rick! That mask is just like Absolute Zero's! Quite the change of pace from the huge and burly Snowblind we've come to know. He's in the ring and has the E-WCW World belt! Herald still doesn't know he's behind him! Here he comes… OH! DOWN across the skull of Herald! And AGAIN- He MISSED! Herald rolled out of the way and this man NAILED Zero across the head with the belt! Herald up now, roundhouse kick blocked by the masked bodyguard! He takes Herald to the mat with a legdrag takedown! Absolute makes his way to his feet now… kneedrop across the throat of Herald! The masked man is applying some kind of leg hold. Figure four leg lock! Herald is in some severe pain!

[Richards]- Legs just aren't made to bend that way, Dave! Zero and this other man are really dismantling Herald before this capacity crowd!

[Deyo]- Absolute Zero is stomping away on the knees of Herald, adding to the pain I'm sure! If this doesn't stop soon, Herald could be seriously injured! This is out of control!!

<The bell rings three times. Referees Danny Dickson and Adam Kent along with Planet Dome security come out to break up the brawl. Zero is seen mouthing the words "Eat that, Herald".>

[Deyo]- They're hauling Zero and this other man to the back! Order is slowly being restored here thanks to security. Herald's limping his way to the back with the aid of Adam Kent. Lets hope that knee is okay, everyone!

[Richards]- A knee injury going into a triple-threat World Title match at the next Pay Per View is exactly what Herald doesn't need right about now.

[Deyo]- And with Smokin John Hayes locked away behind bars, Absolute Zero looks to be stacking the deck very much in his favor here.

[Richards]- And when DOESN'T he? This is ridiculous: Snowblind's gone for no time at all, and along comes this NEW guy? What a load of crap!

[Deyo]- I know what you’re saying, Rick. Once again we’re seeing Absolute Zero hiding behind some lackey! You have to wonder if the man would be able to win a match on his own skills sometimes! But to mix the bad news with the good, our technicians have just informed us that the electrical problem we’d been having earlier has been rectified and that we will be able to get through the rest of the night as planned. But as far as Zero goes, let’s just hope that the tables are turned come Zero Tolerance !

[Richards]- Agreed- I’d be surprised if there was even a HANDFUL of fans out there who wouldn’t like to see Zero get his rear handed to him in that Triple Threat match. I’d personally like to see Herald come out on top, but you KNOW that things are getting pretty bad when even a victory from a member of TSK is better than Zero walking away with both that defunct E-WCW Title AND the new Planet Wrestling World Heavyweight Championship belt.

[Deyo]- And speaking of the Pay Per View, let's go on to a match that's sure to take one of its two competitors into the big event as a champion, but which one? Up next it's Zack "The Blue Thunder" Logan defending his Trans-World Title against Kristoph Kahn! Mike Pattera is ready to go, so let's get to the ring.

<The bell rings. "Freebird" by Lynard Skynard plays and the crowd gets to its feet as Kahn exits through the curtains. He's wearing his one-leg-cut-off jeans and a dirty-looking T-shirt.>

[Pattera]- The following Trans-World Title match is scheduled for one fall. First, on his way to the ring, from Lexington, Kentucky, weighing in at 274 pounds, he is the challenger, Kristoph KAHN!!!

[Deyo]- One has to wonder what has been up with Kahn as of late: he seemed to wrestle a more or less normal match in his last outing at a recent airing of Shockwave, despite the fact that when outside of the ring, he seems to have gone into some sort of mental collapse or to have had some sort of nervous breakdown ever since he was cheated out his second round match against John Hayes at Kill 'Em All.

[Richards]- No question about it in my mind Dave: Kahn's sanity took a long walk off a short peer and forgot how to swim. The only good part is that it hasn't cost him a match yet, but he's not faced an opponent quite so experienced as the Trans World Champ. Logan beat one of the sport's greats in "Sycophant" Sid, so we know he's no slouch.

<"Beautiful People" by Marliyn Manson plays... Zack Logan comes out through the curtain, and does his infamous crotch chop.>

[crowd]- SMEG OFF!!

[Deyo]- And speaking of Logan, there he is!

[Richards]- The fans just love him Dave! Just listen to 'em!

[Pattera]- And his opponent, from St. Louis, MO, weighing in at 342 pounds, he is the reigning Trans World Champion! Ladies and gentlemen: Zack "The Blue THUNDER" LOGAN!!!

<The fans are cheering like crazy.>

[Deyo]- You're not kidding Rick! But you do raise a good point about Kahn: Will a perfectly good and talented former champ have gone to waste as a result of mental instability, or will Kahn continue to dominate his opponents and surprise fans as he continues to walk the road of success, perhaps by winning the Trans World title tonight on Throttle?

<The camera shows a quick shot of a fan wearing a Kahn T-shirt and a pair of one-leg-cut-off jeans.>

[Richards]- Either way, looks like Kahn's picking up a new following!... Well, Logan's in the ring and Pattera's now on the outside, so things look like they're about ready to get on the road!

<The bell rings.>

[Deyo]- Here we go! They're circling- Tie up in the middle of the ring, which may not be a good idea for Kahn being at a pretty big disadvantage in the size department- and it's Zack backing Kahn into the corner! Adam Kent in there and calling for the break, and "The Blue Thunder" backs off cleanly. Kahn dusting himself off... Kahn moving out of the corner and they're circling again- Locking up! Who's coming out on top this time Rick?

[Richards]- Let's see... Zack- Shot to the ribs- Hiptosses Kahn to the mat! Kahn scrambling to get to his feet, and now it's Logan backing him into the corner- Big kneelift to the breadbasket- Holy CRAP! What an axe kick down onto the back of Kahn!

[Deyo]- You're not kidding- That one laid Kahn flat out on the mat! And Logan not wasting any time as he's brings Kahn up with a handful- Shot to the ribs by Kahn! And a kneeling fireman's carry takedown by Kahn! Great execution!

[Richards]- Sometimes some of the basic moves in wrestling can be the most effective, and Kahn's demonstrating good control here so far- Oh well, I guess I spoke too soon!

[Deyo]- You're not KIDDING! Kahn just jumped on the opportunity and is all OVER Zack Logan and raining punches down on him! Kent's in there to warn Kahn about the closed fists- but Kahn seems to be ignoring Kent and looking to the fans for advice?...

[Richards]- I don't think so, Dave: I think he's trying to communicate with "Bob"!

[Deyo]- Oh, for GOODNESS sake: You know as well as I that this Bob character is nothing but another figment of Kahn's imagination! Whatever he was doing, Kahn's finally stopping with the closed fists-

<Kahn, looking to the outside, nods enthusiastically, then pauses, as if await a command of some sort.>

[Deyo]- And now he he's going for a blatant CHOKE! Kent in there for the count, and Kahn's looking to the outside- Releases it at the four count! Kahn now with a handful of hair and pulling Logan up to his feet- sends Logan to the ropes- clothesline- ducked by Logan! Logan off the ropes- clothesline by Kahn- Crucifix counter by Logan! Kahn off balance but trying to stay up... Kahn flailing his arms about like mad- Both men down and Logan with Kahn's shoulder's pinned! 1 -2 -Kickout by Kahn! Nice move by the champ that almost made this one look easy!

[Richards]- But Kahn's far from finished! He's up to his feet and downs Logan with a boot to the side of the head! And another! Kahn off the ropes- drops a fist onto Logan! A cover- Only a one count as the champ kicked out of that one forcefully! Apparently he came here to fight too!

[Deyo]- Both men up and circling again! Kahn in there quick, but he's met with boot to the midsection! Standing side headlock applied by Logan- PLANTS Kahn with a Spike DDT! A cover by Logan! 1- Kahn kicks out! Neither man budging an inch here! Logan to his feet again and bringing Kahn to his feet- sends him to the ropes- Powerslam by Logan! Logan getting to his feet- There's that chop taunt!

[crowd]- SMEG OFF!!

[Richards]- Logan should really be concentrating on Kahn instead of appealing to the crowd! Now Logan off the ropes- Drops the elbow! Logan up and picking Kahn up- Scoops him up and- SLAMS him down!

[Deyo]-  Logan following up with an armbar! But I suspect that it'll take more than that to put a former Extreme Champion away! And Kahn proving me right as he's pushing himself to his feet- punch to the ribs by Kahn! And another! The hold is broken and Kahn with a big chop- and a followup right! A thumb to the eye by Kahn!

[Richards]- LEVELS "The Blue Thunder" with a clothesline!! Kahn used a cheap set up there, but followed up with a VICIOUS clothesline! Great move!

[Deyo]- Kahn now with a reverse chinlock on Logan. Trying to wear the big man down might be just the right strategy for Kahn- Not only will it be taking him off his feet and down to the mat and out of his elements.

[Richards]- Right you are, Dave: If Kahn can keep "The Blue Thunder" out of the air, then I'd say that Kahn's more technical style can be the dominating factor that turns the tide in this one! Kahn wrenching that chinlock on- What?! He releases it- and now he's hammering away at Zack with a series of punches! So much for sticking to a sound strategy!!

[Deyo]- You're not kidding! It looked to me like Kahn had Logan RIGHT where he wanted him, but now it's Kahn resorting to more of an unorthodox, pure BRAWLING style! Kahn- Double axehandle down onto Logan's back! And now a kick right between the shoulder blades! Kahn picking Logan up- Sends him right back down with a headbutt! Picking Logan up again and sends him to the ropes- Clothesline by Kahn- Ducked! Logan off the ropes- Kahn turns- Flying body press by Logan!! 1 -2 -Kickout by Kahn!! Logan to his feet now and bringing Kahn to his feet! Irish whip to the ropes by Logan! Logan with a sleeperhold!!! Kahn trying to fight it, but Logan has it locked on right in the middle of the ring! Kahn doing what he can to try to reach the ropes, but Logan's not giving him an inch! Kahn now trying something else as he's backpedaling Logan- INTO the turnbuckle! Kahn with a back elbow and the sleeper's broken! Kahn turns- Punch to the ribs! Chop to the chest! Elbow to the face, and down goes Zack Logan! Kahn now stomping the life out of Zack Logan, and the referee trying to break them apart, but Kahn fighting like a man possessed! Logan in all KINDS of trouble now!

[Richards]- Kahn's showing absolutely NO mercy here as he's just beating the tar out of "The Blue Thunder"! Finally, Kahn's backing off and he's-

[Deyo]- Going to the outside? What the heck is he doing?

[Richards]- Well, he seems to have sparked up a conversation with his imaginary friend from the looks of it!

[Deyo]- I think you're right, Rick! He seems to be listening to SOMETHING awfully intently...

<Kahn cups his hands to his ear, as if some invisible man was whispering him a secret. He smiles and begins to nod enthusiastically.>

[Richards]- And it looks like he likes what he's hearing, Dave! Wait a second- Kahn going for a chair!! Looks like we'll be seeing some shades of tonight's first match!

[Deyo]- But Kahn leaving the chair out there set up at ringside... And now he's going back into the ring! Kahn working without any sort of method here tonight it would seem as he seems to be acting on random whims without rhyme or reason, and he even gave "The Blue Thunder" all KINDS of time to recover! And speaking of which it Logan now to his feet and meeting Kahn with a kneelift to the midsection- Scoops him up- Gorilla press by Kahn!!! And Kahn holding him up there! Kahn walking over to the ropes- throws Logan- DOWN onto the steel chair!!!! Logan must be in some SERIOUS pain!

[Richards]- I guess that maybe "Bob" had a good idea there after all!

[Deyo]- <reluctantly> I guess so... Kahn now slow to the outside-

<The house lights flicker.>

[Richards]- Cripes, I thought you said that they'd licked that problem!

<The house lights flicker again, then fade to nothing, leaving only the small lights along the staircases. Suddenly power throughout the entire arena shuts down, and there's nothing but darkness. The crowd goes silent, as the odd person lights their lighter so that they can see. A few flashlights light up, presumably from security personnel.>

[Richards]- Oh my god, what the hell is going on now?

[Deyo]- Uh oh! Looks like we've lost power folks!

[Richards]- For the love o' GOD! I'm not even getting anyone from the front through my headphones! It seems that we have lost COMPLETE power throughout the arena....I'm not even sure any of you out there in TV land can even hear us right now...

[Deyo]- I can't even see Kahn and Logan in the ring....and I'm sure the crowd is wondering what is going on....

[Richards]- Ladies and Gentlemen, if you can still hear us, this is not planned and this was
definitely not suppose to happen, I'm sure our PW officials are doing everything they can to restore power to the arena...

[Deyo]- I really hope so Rick because I don't think the crowd is
comfortable in these conditions at all....

[Richards]- Neither am I... .I can't see a blasted thing! It's pitch black in here, Dave!

<Suddenly, the PW Titan-Tron mysteriously lights up....>

[Deyo]- What in the hell?

[Richards]- What's going on now? It seems as if the Titan-Tron is be operating by some outside power source!

[Deyo]- How's that possible Rick?! Power in the entire arena is out!

[Richards]- I have no idea, Dave. I'm getting a very, VERY bad feeling about this...

<Suddenly on the Titan-Tron the words: "FRIDAY THE 13th: THE SEASON OF EVIL BEGINS!!!" appear in a bloody red text.>

[Deyo]- OH MY GOD... We'd been receiving, and as a result AIRING some rogue footage sent into the fed as of late with a similar message, but what is this all ABOUT?!

[Richards]- I have no idea at all. I just wish they'd get their @$$es in gear and put the power back on! I thought that they'd FIXED the damn problem! What is this "new season" crap all mean anyway?

<A low rumble echo's throughout the arena as fans start to panic.>

[Deyo]- I think we're having an earthquake Rick!!

[Richards]- That's impossible! It can't be...

<A deep red glow can suddenly be seen getting brighter under the ring as smoke pours out from the light surrounding the ringside area...>

[Deyo]- What the hell is that? No, not ANOTHER trick from Smokin John Hayes and TSK! This really is TOO MUCH! We should have EXPECTED another stunt from them considering that both smoke bombs have gone off during both of these competitors matches in the past... Wait a second: I think the ring is on fire from underneath!! Has the whole trick gone dreadfully WRONG! What if one of the TSK guys is UNDER there?!! He'll be burned ALIVE!!!

[Richards]- Wait a second- I don't think that's fire... Something VERY wrong is definitely happening right now, and it seems that PW officials don't know what's happening either!

[Deyo]- Neither do Kahn and Logan who are just standing outside the ring in
shock!

<A loud bang echo's through the arena...>

[Richards]- OH GOD! What was THAT?!!

[Deyo]- Maybe we should get the hell out of here Rick, before the whole DOME comes down!

<Fans begin cheer in excitement as the middle of the ring rips open, sending a column of smoky red light projecting to the rafters...>

[Deyo]- Dear GOD!!! the middle of the ring is opening like the yawning jaws of HELL!!

[Richards]- Folks, I'm not sure if you can see this or even hear me but, it appears that the center of the ring has just been RIPPED open and there's smoke around the ring area! There's a mass state of confusion in the air, and I'm just one amongst the confused!

[Deyo]- And this glowing light has just burst through the hole in the ring!

<"Electric Funeral" begins to play throughout the arena speakers as a dark figure rises up from the hole in the ring...>

[Deyo]- Look at that Rick!! Someone is RISING up through the gaping hole in the ring! And look at Kahn and Logan: they don't even want to get CLOSE to this!

[Richards]- It's hard to make out, Dave, with all this smoke... but it appears folks that someone or someTHING is RISING from the hole in the ring!

[Deyo]- And this music sounds very familiar Rick...

[Richards]- Indeed it does Dave, I'm getting a very bad feeling about ALL of this! Wait- look at this: Oh my GOD! Whatever that thing is, it appears to be just FLOATING to the top of the arena and out of the smoke-

[Deyo]- And look who it IS!

[Richards]- Oh Mary mother of GOD: It's THE DEHUMANIZER!!!!! Dehumanizer is BACK and rising from the depths of HELL!.... That's what all this "Friday the 13th: season of evil" hooplah means-

[Deyo]- It's been a warning of the coming of Dehumanizer!

[Richards]- I can't believe this folks...Dehumanizer has returned and seems more powerful then ever before!!!!

<Dehumanizer rises to the top of the arena out of sight...>

[Deyo]- I can't even SEE him anymore Rick! Where did he go?!

[Richards]- It looks as if Dehumanizer has vanished into thin air! But you can bet that we haven't seen the last of him!

<Suddenly the arena lights go back on as power is restored to the entire building.>

[Deyo]- WOW! Have you ever SEEN such an entrance before in your career, Rick?

[Richards]- I'll tell you Dave... The power may be back on, but I've still got chills all OVER my body! Folks, I'm not sure how it worked out that cameras kept rolling and the signal went through, but we're getting word that it did! But just in case you're just joining us, apparently the Dehumanizer has RETURNED and a "new season of evil" has apparently begun! Could all the rumours of the formation of a new PAIN be based in FACT?

[Deyo]- If Dehumanizer's back, Rick, a new PAIN Foundation may not be far behind! Back to our scheduled match though... it looks as if PW officials and the referee are trying to re-start this match between Kahn and Logan, but I have NO idea how they are going to continue with this hole in the ring!... Neither of them even want to get close to it!

[Richards]-  Just unbelievable folks! In case you DID lose transmission, welcome back to PW Throttle on Friday the 13th... What a night this has been!

[Deyo]- And though it would appear that each is a bit reluctant to get into the ring, it seems like Kahn just doesn't want to give up a shot that easily, and that Logan doesn't want to give up a LOSS that easily! They're discussing it..... And it looks like the referee is ready to re-start the match!!

[Richards]- Each man is climbing into the ring at opposite ends... and they're in and Adam Kent is waving to the timekeeper: This one is OFFICIAL! But this is retarded! How are these two supposed to compete with a huge HOLE in the middle of the ring?!

[Deyo]- Well, we've always talked about how diversified "The Blue Thunder" is, and now we've been talking about how crazy Kristoph Kahn is: I guess that the two will be just what's needed to make this match still work. Both men now seeming to get a feel for their new environment as they circle around that pit in the middle of the ring... I wonder what's DOWN there, Rick...

[Richards]- C'mon Dave! A concrete floor! You don't really think that the Dehumanizer actually rose up from some fiery brimstone bottomless pit, DO you?

[Deyo]- <pauses, mumbling something unintelligible.> Well... No, I guess not, Rick... But back to the action- They're locking up near the ropes! Standing wristlock applied by Kahn! Smashes the elbow onto the tricep area of  Zack Logan and it's an armbar applied! Logan down to a knee, and Kahn's REALLY putting the pressure on! Kent in there dangerously close to the hole in the ring, and he's asking if Logan gives or not... Not yet anyways.... Logan with a forward roll- hops to his feet- FLIPS Kahn over with the momentum! And now it's Zack Logan with an arm wringer! Twists the arm and wraps it up- rolls him- SMALL PACKAGE BY ZACK!! 1- 2- NO!! Kahn got his foot BARELY onto the rope!

[Richards]- Oh come ON! This one'll go on FOREVER if Kent doesn't let THAT slide! They don't have the option of pinning their opponent in the middle of the ring anymore, so HOW can they win the match?!!

[Deyo]- By submission maybe?... No... I really don't KNOW, Rick... I guess that they just never THOUGHT of that! Both men airing on the side caution while getting up... Logan on the run- BIG clothesline- And NO!

[Richards]- And Kahn almost fell into that hole from that one! Kahn rolling out of the way though and steering clear of it! Problem is, Zack Logan NORMALLY would have likely followed up on that, but with that stupid hole in his path, it makes things just a TAD more uncertain, to say the least!

[Deyo]- Kahn to his feet, and here comes Logan! Booth to the leg by Kahn- Now Kahn with an Irish whip RIGHT FOR THAT HOLE!!! NO! Logan leaps over it! Off the ropes- Flying crossbody across the hole- WOAHNO!!!!

<Kahn, who was near the center of the ring, had his feet taken out from underneath him as what must have been a weak point of the broken floor snaps underneath him so that he falls and slams the back of his head into the ring apron, causing Logan to run into nothing but air and fly to the outside. Kahn clutches onto the apron to try to reel himself back in. The whole thing taking place in a couple of split seconds.>

[Deyo]- I can't BELIEVE it! A piece of the ring apron just gave way and made Kahn a three-foot tall target, which in TURN sent Zack Logan sailing over the top! Kahn looks shaken and I think he banged his head, but Logan, down on the outside looks REALLY hurt- Ads a matter of fact, he doesn't even look CONSCIOUS!!!! Adam Kent doesn't quite know WHAT to do, as Kahn is trying to claw his way out of that pit, and Logan is down on the outside! ( 1!)

[Richards]-He's calling a double count, Dave!! He must be considering Kahn as ( 2!)being UNDER the ring, and not IN it! This is CRAZY!

[Deyo]- You're not KIDDING! And I don't think that (3!) either man is well enough to make it back inside on their own power! This has to be one ( 4!) of THE most bizarre matches that I have EVER witnessed! It's a good thing that Friday ( 5!) the 13th's don't come along too often! Kahn still trying to shake the cobwebs loose, let's go to a replay and see just what happened to Logan after missing that flying crossbody...

<The shot cuts to a recorded clip that replays the side of the ring. We see Zack flying over the top rope, but he barely snags it with hit boot on the way over, sending him spinning out of control, only to crash into the steel rail, hitting the back of his head rather hard on the way down. the clip ends and cuts back to the action inside the ring.>

[Richards]- Can you say "OUCH"?! I don't think that Logan will be getting up ( 7!) ANY time soon!

[Deyo]- You're not kidding! But Kahn now, trying to make his way back into the ring! ( 8!)  He may actually make it!! Kahn digging down deep and going for a win over the Trans-World champ, ( 9!) even if it WON'T mean that he gets gold- YES!! Kahn's in! And Zack's not moved! ( 10!) Kent calling for the bell! This one is OVER!

<The bell rings.>

[Pattera]- Your winner, as a result of a countout, Kristoph KAHN!!!

[Richards]- All the Kahn fans here are going absolutely nuts, but I don't think that some of them are AWARE that-

[Pattera]- But since titles can ONLY change hands upon a pinfall or submission, Zack "The Blue Thunder" Logan is STILL Planet Wrestling's Trans-World CHAMPION!!

<The reactions in the crowd are a mix of cheers and boos.>

[Richards]- Like I was saying, Zack's still the champ, and though some of Kahn's fans feel robbed, Zack Logan fans a breathing a sigh of relief.

[Deyo]- But Kahn can't be happy either! This is the second time recently that he's had a title within his reach yet taken away! And just take a look at him- He appears to be ARGUING with HIMSELF!

[Richards]- C'mon Dave: Get with the program! He's arguing with BOB!

[Deyo]- <sarcastically> Oh, well EXCUSE me! Well, what a night it was this Friday the 13th on Throttle! It was a night for the newcomer, as Kevin Hall edged out the returning Crippler, Esquire got his revenge on Bombinator and the Flying Muskrat dominated "Kamakize"! And Kahn walks away the winner in one of the strangest endings I've EVER seen to a match, but with Zack Logan retaining the title. And who can FORGET the extra surprises: Absolute Zero's apparent NEW bodyguard, Hayes incarcerated and the return of evil-incarnate, the Dehumanizer!! But that's all for tonight from PW Throttle, folks! See you at Shockwave, and don't for get to call your local cable distributors to be the first to get ZERO TOLERANCE on Pay Per View! Goodnight everyone!

<The broadcast ends with the PW logo and theme music and cuts to a commercial.>