[The PW Shockwave Theme Music plays as a series of recorded clips of PW wrestlers battling it out flicker by. Then the shot begins to shake, as if the camera shooting it was mounted on a tripod during an earthquake. The shots shake around more and more uncontrollably, until everything is a blur. At precise the moment when nothing is recognizable on the screen anymore, the Planet Wrestling SHOCKWAVE logo appears with a rumble. The shot then cuts to the interior of the Planet Dome, shot from a sweeping aerial view where we’re presented with the stunning scene of a jam-packed arena of cheering fans, complete with their many creative signs held up over their head, and fireworks going off near the entranceway and the ring area. The shot then cuts to the ringside announcer's table, where announcers David Deyo and his colleague Rick Richards are seated. Each of them is wearing a black armband.]

Dave - Hello Everyone, we're coming to you live from a sold out Planet Dome, for Shockwave!! It's gonna a be a great card, and another big one at that!

Rick - Damn right it is, Dave! And that’s why we’re skipping some of the formalities here and heading right to our first match of the night! It’s the Tag Team Tournament second round match, where we’ll be seeing Esquire and Crippler together against the team of Xander and Anya.

Dave - Let’s get to the ring.

[The bell rings.]

Pattera – The following is a second round tag-team tournament match, and is scheduled for one fall…

[“The Fight Song” by Marilyn Manson strikes up. All the lights in the arena dim, and a pair of spotlights focus their glow on the entryway. Xander, bedecked in black ankle length tights with blue streaks heading down the sides, steps out into the entrance and is met with a mixed reaction, mostly boos, from the crowd. He looks to both sides of the arena, taking in his surroundings, then begins to head toward the ring.]

Pattera – Introducing first, weighing in at 235 pounds, and hailing from Burkittsville, Maryland…Xander!!!

[Xander jaws with some ringside fans while Oleander’s “I walk Alone” replaces his entrance theme.]

Pattera – And his tag-team partner, weighing in at 125 pounds, fighting out of Boston, Massachusetts, here is Anya!!!

[Once again all the lighting in the arena dims and a few spotlights search around the joint. Anya, wearing silver ankle length tights and a blue sports bra top, makes her appearance to a slightly more flattering reaction than her counterpart got. She heads through the entryway and down towards the ring. Xander continues to go at it with some ringsiders while she slides into the ring under the bottom rope.] Dave – Xander certainly isn’t a crowd favorite here tonight by any stretch of the imagination, Rick.

Rick – Certainly not, Dave, but he seems to be relishing in that fact as he’s presently giving these ringside fans a piece of his mind. The Planet Wrestling faithful are getting more than they bargained for and we haven’t even witnessed a single wrestling hold yet tonight.

Dave – Not yet anyway. But that’s all fixing to change in a hurry as we’ve got an absolutely stellar card, consisting of a plethora of tag-team matches, lined up for you folks tonight! And let’s not forget about our main event where extreme champion Zed Logan will defend his title against brother Zack in a caged-in ladder match!

Rick – Should be a great, as well as brutal, showcase of two of Planet Wrestling’s finest going at it.

[“I Walk Alone” comes to a sudden halt and is replaced by Godsmack’s rocking tune, “Whatever”. The Canadian Crippler, wearing white pants with the “Crippler” nickname stitched into the sides and a black tank top with a big red maple leaf in the center of it, steps out into the entranceway. A pyrotechnics display, in the shape of a maple leaf, goes off behind him as Pattera earns his keep.]

Pattera – And their opponents…first, hailing from Fredericton, New Brunswick, Canada, and weighing in at 260 pounds…he is the Canadian Crippler!!!

[The Crippler’s entrance is met with a purely split crowd response, some cheers and an equal amount of boos. With a smug smirk directed at Xander, the Crippler heads down the aisle, stopping halfway to the ring. Suddenly the classic tune that we all know, “Stairway to Heaven”, becomes audible, causing all the fans to boo in unison.]

Pattera – And his partner, from Chicago, Illinois, weighing in at 295 pounds, Esquire!

[Esquire, in his patented suit and tie, walks down the aisle, ignoring all the booing, until he’s standing side by side with the Canadian Crippler. The two give each other a knowing nod and without saying a word charge the ring in unison.]

*** Xander and Anya vs. the Canadian Crippler and Esquire: Tag-team tournament quarterfinal match ***

Dave – And this one has gotten off to an explosive start! The Crippler and Esquire charged the ring and are simply wailing away on their opponents! Esquire drops Anya to the mat with an uppercut to the jaw! Meanwhile the Canadian Crippler is showing Xander that his countrymen are adept at more than just figure skating!

Rick – Yeah, they can dish out some pretty mean beatings, too! The Crippler is just assaulting Xander with stinging lefts and rights! The X-Man simply can’t take much more of this abuse! He looks out of it already!

Dave – Anya has already retreated to the outside for a breather after Esquire rudely introduced her to his fists, and now it’s looking as if Xander’s going to join her…the hard way!

Rick – The hard way is right, Dave. The Canadian Crippler fires off a few more punches to Xander’s mug and now, with Esquire’s assistance, whips him to the ropes with a double Irish whip! [Short pause in commentary] And over the top flies Xander, courtesy of a double clothesline from the team of Esquire and the Canadian Crippler! They obviously came into this match prepared with a game plan and already are executing it to near perfection.

[Anya runs over to help a dazed Xander to his feet. Crippler mounts the turnbuckles to take in some applause whilst Esquire stays focused by keeping an eye on his opposition.]

Dave – This doesn’t bode well for the team of Xander and Anya who, outside of this tournament match, also have to do battle with our other wrestling couple, “The Heartbeat of Canada” Ken Jansen and Valentine later on tonight. And in a “Stars on Ice” match, no less. Who knows what condition they’ll be in when it comes time for that one if they don’t get it together and start putting up a fight in this contest.

Rick – Well, it’s too early to write them off just yet, Dave. And hopefully, for their own sake, this conference they seem to be having on the outside will help turn the tides in their favor.

Dave – And we’re about to find out either way as Xander is cautiously entering the ring here, keeping an eye on the crafty veteran, Esquire, for any funny business, while Anya goes to their corner.

Rick – And on the other side of the ring our official, Pat Rogers, has successfully escorted the Crippler to his respective corner, and it looks like this one is about to come to an official start!

[The bell rings once again, signaling the start of the match.]

Dave - Xander and the Canadian Crippler immediately get things started with a collar and elbow tie-up, and the Crippler uses his strength advantage to forcefully push Xander down to the mat! And now he’s pointing to the maple leaf on his wrestling attire to rub it in! That can’t sit well with Xander who seems to have a personal vendetta against all things Canadian these days.

Rick – Xander is right back up, though, and he charges in for another collar and elbow lock-up, and this time is just simply forced into a neutral corner by the Crippler.

Dave – And that’s exactly where he doesn’t want to be, because the Canadian Crippler is just assaulting him with some stiff chops! Good lord! Those bad boys are just echoing throughout the entire arena!

Rick – Crippler now, content with having drastically changed the color of Xander’s chest, whips him to the corner on the opposite side of the ring, and quickly follows in with a lariat – NO! Xander uses the ropes to help float up and over the Crippler and then he swiftly delivers a standing dropkick to the back of the head!

Dave – The Crippler’s chest cavity is sent smashing into the corner turnbuckles and Xander quickly rolls him up with a schoolboy. Our official, Mr. Rogers, moves into position, 1…2…kick out!

Rick – Well that certainly caught the Canadian Crippler off-guard. He seemed to just be having his way with Xander for a moment there, but this bright young superstar came to fight.

Dave – As he always does, Rick. You can say what you want about his stance on foreigners, but that all goes out the window when the bell rings, because he can compete with anyone on the Planet Wrestling roster when push comes to shove.

[In the ring Xander and the Crippler are both on their feet and are standing nose to nose, attempting to psyche the other out with their stares.]

Rick – And speaking of shoving, the Crippler just gave Xander a nice push in the chest, almost daring him to make a move.

Dave – And that’s exactly what Xander’s doing, Rick. Xander runs in, ducks a lariat, hops onto the second rope and springs back off with an asai moonsault…but he got caught! Crippler drills him into the mat with a dominator! And that move had to have driven all the wind out of Xander’s body! His painful gasps for air are testament to that, Rick.

Rick – Crippler with the quick tag to Esquire, who takes advantage of the situation by smoothly connecting with a legdrop across Xander’s gullet and going for a quick lateral press attempt. 1…2…kick-out! Probably a bit too early to be thinking of gaining the “W” at this point.

Dave – Esquire now lifts Xander up and Irish whips him to the ropes, but Xander has the presence of mind to hold on to them for dear life and he lunges to his corner to tag in the waiting Anya!

[The fans become noticeably louder as Anya steps through the ropes and into the ring.]

Rick – Ah, now this ought to be interesting. Esquire is a firm believer that this is a man’s sport and that women have no place in the ring, while Anya wants to prove that people of her gender are every bit as skilled in grappling as the men are.

Dave – Esquire, trying to make quick work of Anya, rushes in at her, but gets caught with an arm drag! Both wrestlers up – and we get a repeat performance!

Rick – And now Anya stomps Esquire’s chest before she quickly heads to the top, where she’s waiting for Esquire to regain his balance. Esquire’s up, he turns around, and right into a top rope hurricanranna! She takes the big guy down and these fans are just eating it up!

Dave – And she’s about to give them more to cheer about she heads right back to the top. Hops onto the top turnbuckle, gains her balance, leaps off…beautiful moonsault connects! Anya hooks the leg for a cover, 1…2…and good god! Esquire just bench-presses her off with some authority!

[Anya flies up about five feet before her entire anatomy is sent crashing into the mat.]

Rick – OH, that has got to be painful, Dave. Esquire is showing Anya just how rough it can get in this MAN’S environment.

Dave – And I suppose you share his opinion on the topic, Rick?

Rick – Hey, all I’m saying is that the evidence lies in the ring. Anya hit Esquire with a couple of high-risk moves, and still it didn’t pay off.

[Esquire locks Anya up in suplex position.]

Rick – See, look at this. Esquire is about to suplex her right out of her boots. Esquire with the pick up…

Dave – Don’t count your chickens before they’re hatched, Rick! Anya slips free at the height of the suplex and connects with a reverse DDT on her way down! Exceptional move and counter by the upstart Anya! Anything to say now, Rick?

Rick – All right, I’ll give credit where it’s due. That WAS a nice counter.

Dave – That was more than just a nice counter. She bounced Esquire’s head off the mat like a basketball with that DDT. And now she slaps on a dragon sleeper, showing us that she’s not all high spots, but she can break out a few wrestling and submission maneuvers as well.

Rick – Okay, so she can wrestle, but I don’t know if this dragon sleeper is such a hot idea. At her weight it’s going to be awfully hard to put enough pressure on Esquire to make him tap, or better yet, pass out.

Dave – Good call, Rick. Already Esquire is using his strength to inch his way over to the ropes.

Rick – Anya is cinching that hold in as tightly as she possibly can, but Esquire is just inches away from the ropes now…reaches an arm out…and grabs hold! The referee is calling for a break. Think we’ll see a clean one, Dave?

Dave – Well, Anya doesn’t exactly have the best track record when it comes to clean breaks, but it appears as though we’re seeing one here as she stands up and backs off, giving Esquire an opportunity to get to his feet. Perhaps we’re seeing the dawn of a new era in the ring tonight. Rick – Anything’s possible, but I’d say it’s simply a tactical ploy. One doesn’t just go full circle over the course of one measly match.

Dave – Time will tell the story on that one, but for now an angered Esquire is going in for the kill, but Anya slides through his legs to the outside and trips the big man up! Esquire’s flat on his face in the ring, and that has gotta be embarrassing for the guy. Anya is really pulling out all the stops to try and show Esquire up after his comments about women in wrestling.

Rick – Indeed she is. And now Esquire is up and shouting some choice four letter obscenities at Anya, and the fans as well. Anya retaliates by jumping onto the ring apron, but she almost has her head removed as Esquire throws an anger driven lariat…ducked! And Anya drops him with a stunner across the top rope! Excellent wrestling move!

Dave – It sure was, Rick. It knocked Esquire for a loop and has left him sprawled out in the dead center of the ring, gasping for air. No relief is in sight, however, as Anya grabs hold of the top rope for leverage and catapults herself into the ring with a senton splash! Follows up with a lateral press attempt, 1…2…shoulder up! Esquire has taken quite a beating in the last minute or so, but shows some perseverance by nudging a shoulder up before his team could be eliminated from the tournament.

Rick – It’s going to take a lot more than that to take Esquire and his almost two year undefeated streak out of commission, Dave.

Dave – Anya plotting something here, though, Rick as she climbs to the second turnbuckle and has begun taunting Esquire to get his ass in gear.

Rick – And that’s exactly what he does! Esquire took a moment to shake free of the cobwebs before charging in at Anya with reckless abandon, but he got caught with a tornado DDT! Or did he…

Dave – NO! Anya didn’t have enough strength to twist it around, allowing Esquire to counter with a mean looking northern lights suplex! And he holds on with a bridge for the pin attempt! 1…2…Anya gets a shoulder up, but just barely! Esquire really nailed that suplex with some force!

[Both grapplers lay on the mat, trying to regain their composure.]

Rick – Yeah, he’s been waiting to hit Anya with something big like that for the better part of the last few minutes, and when the opportunity arose he took FULL advantage of it by simply annihilating Anya with that northern lights style suplex.

Dave – And now he’s right back up after a short breather, and he’s just assaulting Anya with some boots to her right knee. Anya certainly won’t be flying around the ring like a luchador if she can’t manage to stand, Rick.

Rick – That appears to be the plan, Dave. Esquire now drags Anya over towards the ropes and he places that right leg across the bottom twine, grabs hold of the top rope for added leverage, and he forces his backside down right across her knee ligaments! I’d normally throw in some commentary right here, but Anya’s agonizing screams are doing all the talking for me.

[The camera cuts to a close-up of Anya’s face as she lays screaming on the mat, whilst clutching at her knee.]

Dave – She needs to devise a plan to get over to her corner, and quickly!

Rick – She certainly does, Dave, but that’s going to be awfully hard when she’s trapped in a figure-four leglock, and right in the center of the ring, no less! There’s absolutely nowhere for her to go.

Dave – And with each precious second that passes that knee of Anya’s slips further into ruin. This match could turn into a career shortener if she can’t break free of this agonizing submission maneuver. And to think she still has another match to compete in tonight!

[The fans begin to rally behind Anya at this point, shouting some encouragement.]

Rick – But unfortunately the chances of Anya breaking free don’t appear to be too great. Her overwhelming weight disadvantage makes it nearly impossible to reach the ropes, and she’s taken such a beating that I doubt she has the strength to turn the hold over and put the pressure on Esquire.

Dave – Whoa! Anya just got caught resting with her shoulders on the mat, and damn near got pinned in the process. But she lunges her upper body forward at the last possible moment, screaming all the while.

Rick – And Esquire is right there in her face to shout some rather uncomplimentary remarks about women not belonging in the ring. How insulting!

Dave – You wanna talk about insulting! Anya just retorted with a stinging open handed slap right across Esquire’s mug! Esquire fires back with a jab…Anya ducks back down, and rebounds with another harsh slap to the side of Esquire’s face! Esquire has a beat red temporary tattoo of Anya’s hand on the side of his grill!

Rick – And that forces him to break the hold…Anya dives towards her corner for the tag, but Esquire is right there to grab hold of her right ankle…OH! Man, Esquire just drove Anya’s knee into the mat with authority and is now dragging her back to his team’s respective corner.

Dave – Esquire makes the tag to the Crippler, and stays in the ring, holding Anya’s right leg up for a moment while his partner assaults that already injured knee with some stomps. And here comes Xander into the ring to try and put an end to this double team beat-down, but he’s promptly cut off by Pat Rogers who escorts him back to his corner. Rick – I think Xander may have done Anya more harm than good there because while the referee had his back turned both Esquire and the Crippler took the opportunity knock Anya practically senseless! She’s slumped down in the corner, breathing heavily, and referee Rogers is none the wiser as Esquire is now standing on the ring apron, claiming no foul play.

Dave – The fans, along with their chorus of boos, beg to differ, but it’s all for naught as the Canadian Crippler pulls Anya up out of the corner and locks her head in suplex position. He lifts her up, and look at this show of strength…the Crippler is just holding her up there, allowing all that blood to flow to Anya’s brain.

Rick – BANG! And he just drove Anya’s head into the mat with a brutal brainbuster! Anya’s not moving! Cover…1…2…quick out! Anya kicked out! Where did she find the energy to kick out of that!?

Dave – I can’t be sure of how she managed to kick out of that, but it may have something to do with the fact that almost every single being in this place is cheering her on. She must be feeding of the fans’ energy to help her out in there.

Rick – Well it’s going to take a lot more than a few rabid fans to help Anya’s cause, because the Crippler is right back on the attack, pulling Anya up with a gutwrench pick-up, right into a powerbomb! The back of Anya’s head and neck just hit the mat like a ton of bricks, and I’ve gotta think that this is the end for poor Anya.

Dave – It certainly looks that way, Rick. Canadian Crippler with the pin attempt, 1…2…3…NO! Pat Rogers holds two fingers in the air! Anya kicked out AGAIN! I thought for sure that it was over right there, Rick.

Rick – You’re not the only one, David. The fans thought this one was over as well, but now they’ve grown louder than ever! I can barely hear myself think here!

Dave – The Crippler seems a little upset at now being able to put Anya away just yet, but he’s putting his thumb to his Adam’s apple, signaling that he’s about to end this!

Rick – And there he goes, climbing the turnbuckles to the top. He takes a moment to look the crowd over after balancing himself up there and flies off with a frog splash! Nobody home! Anya rolled out of the way!

[The fans, for lack of a better description, go totally ape-shit at this point.]

Dave – Anya bought herself a little time by dodging that frog splash, but didn’t have enough strength to make the tag and the Crippler, aching abs and all, goes right back to the attack- Irish whipping Anya to the ropes. Anya, though, puts on the brakes, and hops over the top to the apron! Canadian Crippler charges in, but gets caught with a springboard dropkick! The Crippler’s body is sent tumbling across the ring, and now is Anya’s chance! Make the tag! Make the tag!!- Rick – And that’s exactly what she does, Dave! Xander comes into the ring in a blaze and drops the stirring Crippler with a clothesline! Runs over to the opposite corner, and there’s one for Esquire too! Xander turns around and meets the Crippler with a back body drop! Xander is on fire, folks!

Dave – Here comes Esquire into the ring, but he too is met with a back body drop! And Anya getting into the action-OH!! With a frog splash of her own to Esquire! Referee Pat Rogers has lost all control over this one, Rick.

Rick – Yeah, this one’s degenerated into an unregulated brawl in a hurry, and Pat has no choice but to let them go.

Dave – And whoa! The Canadian Crippler just evened the odds up with one devastating flying shoulder tackle that sent Xander up and over the top rope! Xander just landed awkwardly on the outside of the ring. That doesn’t bode well for his team’s chances of advancing in this tournament.

Rick – And no relief is in sight as the Crippler is climbing to the top, eyeing Xander up like a hawk. He waits for Xander to get up... TAKES him down with a cross body block from the top all the way down to the floor! And damn! Both men hit that steel barricade in a violent manner, much to these bloodthirsty fans’ enjoyment. Just listen to them respond to the high-risk offense of the Crippler!

Dave – It’s not only the Canadian Crippler’s crazy dive, but Anya’s manhandling, if you will, of Esquire in the ring, is making some waves as well. She’s got Esquire backed up against the ropes, and is delivering some wicked knife-edge chops all about his torso!

[The crowd lets loose with the obligatory “whoos”.]

Rick – Anya takes a step backwards now, and just unloads on Esquire with a standing dropkick that sends him to the floor! What a beautiful dropkick right to the mush!

Dave – It certainly was, but out on the floor we’ve got a contrast in styles as Xander and the Canadian Crippler are duking it out in what resembles a boxing match instead of a wrestling encounter. They’re completely knocking each other goofy out there!

Rick – Esquire looks up to see the brutality and is quick to help his partner out by dropping Xander down to one knee with an axehandle smash to the back of the head. And now the Crippler and Esquire are just laying the boots to Xander!

Dave – But they’ve forgotten all about Anya who’s still in the ring, and that may wind up being as big a mistake as they could make at this point, because she’s got something in mind.

Rick – She certainly does, Dave. Anya backs up to the far ropes and gets a running start…dives over the top- uses her body as a human battering ram to knock both Esquire and the Crippler down! What an amazing move!

Dave – Yeah it was, but they don’t deem moves such as that one high risk for nothing, Rick. Anya seems to have screwed that already injured knee up, and she’s not moving. Hell, none of the four are moving for that matter.

Rick – Our official, Pat Rogers, is fed up with people not abiding his rules and has started a ten count.

[The fans count along with the referee. 1…2…3…4…and so on.]

Dave – Someone better make a move now or risk the consequences of the high risk nature this match has taken on in the past few minutes.

Referee and crowd – SEVEN!

Rick – The count is up to seven and all four are up to their feet, sort of. They appear to be on spaghetti legs, but all four are fighting it out none the less! Esquire rocks Xander with a stinging right jab!

Referee and crowd – EIGHT!

Dave - Anya ducks a Crippler clothesline, and drops him with a bulldog, while Esquire continues to fire away with some punches to Xander’s face.

Referee and crowd – NINE!

Rick – They’d better hurry! Xander blocks a punch and fires back with one of his own!

Dave – And Anya appears to have completely blown that knee out as she’s down on the ground, clutching at it in obvious pain.

Referee and crowd – TEN!

Rick – And Rogers is calling for the bell, Dave. It looks like this one is going to end in a double count-out.

Dave – Yeah, and it’s a shame too, because all four of these great athletes busted it tonight to put on a great match that deserves to be fought to a decisive finish.

[The bell rings for a final time.]

Pattera – Ladies and gentlemen... the referee has informed me that both teams have been counted out of the ring, resulting in a double count out.

[That decision is met with heavy boos.]

Rick – That’s not sitting well with the Planet Wrestling fan base, but the referee’s decision is final.

Dave – It certainly is, but what does all of this mean for the tournament to crown new tag champs? Will the winner of the other quarterfinal simply get a bye into the final round of this tournament?

Rick – I can’t answer that one, but I’m sure will be getting a ruling from Mr. Gibbs shortly concerning this turn of events.

Dave - I imagine we will, Rick. But as security tries to get things under control here at ringside and separate these teams, let’s take a look ahead to our next match.

Rick - Right, Dave. I don’t know about you, but I think that this one could well be a slaughter, as Destroyer has his back against the wall in a handicap match. I don’t know WHAT this man is thinking: He’ll be taking on not one, not two, but all THREE members of Trigonometry all by himself next, in this very ring. And it’s like I said, Dave: I don’t like his chances in this one at all. After the dust settles, he may well ACTUALLY be handicapped if this thing goes as it should.

Dave - I know exactly what you mean, Rick: when the Trigonometry is acting as a two man team with an extra man to substitute on the outside they’re dangerous enough, heck, Destroyer had his hands full with just ONE of them in his debut match! But facing the trio at the same time may be nothing short of ending his short career here.

Rick - Right: he may be a big guy and everything, but I don’t know whether he’ll be able to weather this storm through or not...

Dave - But there’s only one way to find out, and we’re about to get underway to do just that.

[The bell rings.]

Pattera - The following handicap match is a scheduled for one fall......

Pattera - Introducing first, coming down the aisle, at a total combined weight of over 600 pounds, they are Sine, Cosine and Tangent... ladies and gentlemen: Trigonometry!!!

[The crowd boos feverishly as the trio makes their way down the aisle... They climb into the ring... Suddenly, "Know" by System of a down plays throughout the arena...]

Pattera - And their opponent, On his way down the aisle, from Darkwind forest, England, weighing in at 550 pounds... He is Deeestroooyeeer!!!

[The fans react with scattered pockets of cheering as Destroyer slowly walks down the aisle...] Rick - No big surprise here, Dave: even though he had a strong finish in his first match, we’ve not heard much from this big man since. Although there are a few fans here who must remember that performance, Destroyer hasn’t done much to keep himself in the public eye.

Dave - Well, he is reclusive, that’s for sure. Destroyer now slipping into the ring...

Rick - Looks like Cosine is going to start this match against the big man. OH! Attacking him before he could get to his feet!

[The bell rings.]

*** Trigonometry vs. Destroyer ***

Dave - Cosine with lightning speed- DOWN across the shoulder of Destroyer with a vicious kick! Destroyer on the mat and he's hurting from that move... Cosine now with the leg- but Destroyer kicks him off quick!

Rick - Cosine tried to catch the big man offguard, but it’s not going to be that easy...

Dave - Cosine now pulling Destroyer up by the hair- elbow to the back of the neck puts the big man back down!

Rick - And now it’s a quick tag, and Sine’ll be coming in.

Dave - Sine climbing to the top! Destroyer slowly getting to his feet- Missile dropkick by Sine- Destroyer just barely steps out of the way in time! Sine trying for a high risk move to try to put this one away early, but I dare say that he’s underestimating Destroyer... Destroyer not giving Sine much time to catch his breath, either. He has him in his sights... and DROPS the falling headbutt!

Rick - And Sine felt THAT one, let me tell ya’! No wonder, mind you, given that it came from seven feet up, and Destroyer’s wearing a gas mask! How does he get away with wearing that thing, anyway?

Dave - Do YOU want to ask him to take it off?

Rick - Good point.

Dave - Exactly. Destroyer finally getting a chance to show off some of his undeniable power here, as he’s just PUMMELING poor Sine to pieces in there! Sine trying to get to his feet, but it’s not much use with this seven foot monster standing over him and beating the tar out of him!

Rick - He’s in trouble, no doubt about that, Dave! Uh-oh! Cosine coming in- NAILS Destroyer from behind!

Dave - Uh-oh is right! He only made Destroyer mad!

Rick - Destroyer turning to face Cosine while the ref pushes Cosine to his corner- look out from behind- Sine spins Destroyer around- pickup- DROPS the man throat FIRST on the top rope, and the ref didn’t see a thing! GREAT move by Sine!

Dave - Yeah, you WOULD think so, Rick. Cheap move is more like it.

Rick - It slowed Destroyer down, didn’t it?

Dave - Well-

Rick - I rest my case. Sine with Destroyer by the leg- DRIVES his knee into the canvas!

Dave - Destroyer's going to want to look for an icepack after this one's over, Rick...

Rick - Sine with all kinds of time... But Sine taunting the crowd! And the crowd's returning with some taunts and boos of their own! He’s wasting time: he should make a tag.

Dave - Indeed he should have, because Destroyer’s up again! Sine takes him by the waist- slams him across the knee with a backbreaker. I really am surprised Sine isn’t going for the tag. Maybe he wants to redeem himself after having been eliminated from the first round of the tag team tournament?

Rick - Nah! Look at the guy, Dave! He’s got things under control and he feels he can take the big man on for a while longer, so let him!

Dave - Sine now setting up for a vertical suplex- blocked by Destroyer! Ho HO! Destroyer counters with a suplex of his own, folks! The crowd like that one! Destroyer now, pulling Sine up with a front facelock- But Sine pulls him in- Northen Lights suplex!! Bridges it! 1... 2.. OH!! Destroyer was lucky that time: Sine came up with that move out of NOWHERE! Sine right back up and starts stomping away at Destroyer!! Destroyer looks like he might be hurt- the referee asking him if he wants to continue- but Sine TAUNTING Destroyer to get back up! Destroyer getting to his feet! It doesn't look like he's about to back down at ALL! Sine in there and he has Destroyer all tied up- Abdominal stretch by Sine! Sine now grabbing the rope, but Danny Dickson doesn't see it! Sine- Shoves Destroyer down to the canvas!

Rick - Sine now cockily bringing Destroyer to his feet with a hand full of hair- RIFLES a punch to the big man’s chest! Irish whip now by Sine- Destroyer reverses-puts on the brakes- WOAH!! What a short clothesline by Destroyer!! Sine getting to his feet, but he looks like he’s out on his feet! Destroyer climbing to the top- LOOK out! Tangent shaking the ropes from the apron!!.... OH!!! And Destroyer landed on the top rope HARD!

Dave - He'll be singing soprano after that! Destroyer trying to push himself to his feet... But Sine still standing on rubber legs... Destroyer to one knee... he’s getting up. Rick - He’s on his feet- BOWLS Sine over with a clothesline from HELL!

Dave - My GOD! He almost took the man’s head off!

Rick - It’s still attached, Dave, but it’s not for a lack of trying... Destroyer still trying to shake off the pain from falling into the turnbuckles, and Sine crawling on hands and knees toward his corner...

Dave - Tags in Tangent.

Rick - Tangent right in there- dropkick to the knee! Tangent back up and helping Destroyer to his feet- Small package by Destroyer! 1-2- NO! Tangent barely kicks out!

Dave - Destroyer almost caught him sleeping that time! But Tangent didn’t like that turn of events at all, and he’s really letting Destroyer have it, folks! He’s stomping away at every inch of the big man’s body! HO! But Destroyer catches him by the foot! Destroyer using the ropes to help himself up- BELTS Tangent down with a power clothesline to fold the Trig member into the mat!!

Rick - Destroyer bringing Tangent to his feet with a handful of mask- Headbutt by Destroyer sends Tangent back down to eat the canvas!

Dave - Destroyer has him by the wrist- Sends him to the ropes- BIG boot to the jaw by Destroyer!!

Rick - Holy MOLEY! It was like the man ran into a brick wall! Destroyer following up with a big forearm shot on Tangent! Setting Tangent up now... POWERBOMBS him down!! Destroyer now yanking Tangent up of the mat- HO! Destroyer with a two-handed choke on Tangent!!! The fans on their feet! They know what THIS means!! Up and DOWN into Satan's Signal!!! This one HAS to be over!! Destroyer goes for the cover, Danny Dickson counts ...1 ...2 ... NO! Cosine with the HUGE save for Tangent!

Dave - You’re not kidding! This one was over for SURE! Tangent’s STILL down and out! The referee trying to back Cosine into his corner, but here comes Sine! Boot to the midsection by Destroyer on Sine- CRUSHES the man with an axe kick! Cosine pushing past the ref- but HE’S met with a boot to the skull from Destroyer!!

Rick - The fans are on their feet for this one man wrecking crew, Dave! He’s just DISMANTLING Trigonometry!!

Dave - And he’s not done yet! He has Sine by the throat!! Nails SINE with Satan’s Signal!! Destroyer back up, and now Cosine rushing him again- but HE’S caught by the throat! Destroyer wrapping his both hands around Cosine’s throat and lifting him off the mat in a double choke like he’s a PAPERWEIGHT!! DOWN with the Satan’s Signal!!!! Destroyer has laid out ALL THREE Of his opponents here tonight, and all he has to do is pin Tangent, and it’s all over! Rick - But they all look alike, Dave! I don’t think he knows who the legal man is anymore!

Dave - I think you may be right, Rick... Destroyer now pulling Cosine up off the mat... Scoops him- SLAMS him down on top of Tangent!! Now he’s going for Sine- scoops- NO! Hoists him into a gorilla press and THROWS him up into the air and DOWN onto the pile!! Destroyer now covering!! 1... 2... 3!!!

[The bell rings, and "Know" by System of a down plays...]

Pattera - Ladies and Gentlemen, here is your winner... Deeestroooyeeer!!!

Dave - The fans here a starting to show their appreciation for this rookie monster, Destroyer, and how could you NOT respect this man, Rick?

Rick - I’d say that it’d be dangerous idea not to, Dave: that sitdown, two-handed chokeslam he calls Satan’s Signal is nothing short of DEADLY!! I think I’d rather be roasting away in Hell on a spit than be on the receiving end of THAT move!

Dave - You’re not KIDDING! But all three members of Trigonometry got a taste of it tonight, and I’ll bet that it’ll be a long, long time before they think about crossing Destroyer’s path again!

Rick - I don’t know who in their right mind would even think about getting in this guy’s way, Dave. I’d nominate Nemisis, of course, but not only does he not have a mind, but from what I last heard, he’s still out after Jansen’s flying sledgehammer shot to the skull and Swanson’s beating the bejeezers out of him.

Dave - I hear that, too, Rick, and one has to wonder whether THAT big man will ever make a return to action. After seeing what happened, though, my best guess would be no. But have you heard the rumors about him being seen in the basement of the Planet Dome?

Rick - It almost gives me chills to think about it, Dave.

Dave - You’re not kidding. Destroyer on his way back up the ramp, while Trigonometry are just barely gathering themselves up out of the ring, and I don’t think that any of those three wants to be anywhere near that man ever again... we have to go to commercial, ladies and gentlemen, but stay tuned, because there’s more intense PW action still to come!

[The shot cuts to a commercial for PW action figures: collect all your favorites, from Kevin Peterson, to Zed Logan, to Matt Michaels, to Sean Swanson, to Ken Jansen, to Valentine, to Anya to Xander... And ALL NEW on the shelves TOMORROW are the new James Morgan, Seldeenia, Icon and Gene Hoffman figures. Wrestle it out in the to-scale PW Ring playset,now with multiple ring aprons, for whatever show you want. “PW: Get into the action!”.]

Dave - We’re back ladies and gentlemen and we’re ready for more action! And we’re sure to get PLENTY more of it, because up next we’ll be seeing another second round Tag Team Tournament match, and the teams involved are James Morgan and Seldeenia, who have been making their presenece known since their arrival, and in a more long term way, so have their opponents, the so-called “Mr. Impact” Sean Swanson and “The Heartbeat of Canada” Ken Jansen.

Rick - That’s right, Dave. I’m not so sure that James and Seldeenia know what they’re getting themselves into by stepping into the ring with these two seasoned veterans of the sport, but I have to say that from what I’ve seen so far, I like this pair’s style: sneaking up on Trig with steel chairs the way they did... It was I thing of beauty, I tell ya’.

Dave - Well, I don’t know about that, Rick, but they have definitely been turning some heads in the sort time they’ve been here, Rick, that much is for certain.

Rick - They’re young, they’re wild, and they’re talented athletes, Dave. And what’s more is that the fans are just eating it up.

Dave - Not to mention the fact that anyone going toe-to-toe with a team like Jansen and Swanson is BOUND to get some backing from the fans, Rick. Let’s face it, we’ve not been hearing a whole lot of cheering in favor of this Canadian duo.

Rick - Too true, Dave. And what a feather it would be in Morgan and Seldeenia’s caps to be the ones to push THIS team out of the tourney and advance.

Dave - It could well happen, Rick. Heck, ANYTHING can happen in Planet Wrestling!

Rick - You got THAT right, Dave-o! So let’s get right into this and hear what Jimmy has to say!

[The bell rings.]

Jim Pattera - Ladies and gentlemen, the following is a quarter-final match in the Tag Team Championship Tournament! Introducing first...

["Like a Rhinestone Cowboy" by James Last begins to play, the country melody dancing over the boisterous crowd... And then the dissonant vinyl tear of a needle scraped across a record cuts the tune off--and a voice yells, "Yo man, crank it up!" Pyrotechnics explode from the stage and a new song blares over the sound system: Alice Cooper's "School's Out!" James Morgan and Seldeenia step through the rainbow smoke, carrying a cooler between them. He's wearing wrestling tights with a Hawaiian design; she's in a tight white midriff t-shirt, short jean cut-offs, and tennis shoes.]

Pattera - From Los Angeles, California... At a combined weight of 286 pounds... JAMES MORGAN and SELDEENIA!!!

[The fans are roaring in approval. James jumps up and down, screaming and waving his hands in the air like a madman. Seldeenia cracks open the cooler and removes a couple of bottles. She shakes them up and pops the tops, spraying golden ale all over the crowd. Morgan grabs a couple of bottles as well and opens them, but rather than drenching the fans, he pours the contents down his throat.]

Dave - We've got a little pre-match celebration going on, Rick!

Rick - Hey, it's gotten them past the first round, so why fix what ain't broke?

Dave - They might've beaten Trigonometry, but I have an itching suspicion that the competition's going to be much stiffer for Morgan and Seldeenia tonight!

[Morgan and Seldeenia dance and guzzle their way to the ring, the fans cheering them, James slapping hands as they go. They head to their corner, tuck the cooler under the ring, and climb up on the apron. "School's Out" fades.]

Pattera - And their opponents...

[The speakers come alive with a swankly remixed version of Dope's "Debonair". And through the curtains walks tattooed, blue-haired Sean Swanson, with a wooden pole leaned across one shoulder. A Canadian flag hangs from it. He's clad in his usual battle threads: blue jeans, a black T-shirt bearing the words "MR. IMPACT", and a black vest. He also wears a stony expression that oozes derision toward the audience. But the howling boos he's receiving tell him that the feelings are unequivocally mutual.]

Pattera - First: From the Bad Side of Vancouver, B.C., Canada... Standing 6'5" and weighing 265 pounds... SEAN SWANSON!

[The lights dim to complete darkness, and Swanson treads down the ramp. He's silhouetted by camera flashes and the odd cigarette lighter raised high. We lose track of him briefly... But when the lights slowly fade up again, we see Swanson standing on the ring apron, glaring out at the mass of fandom jeering him. Then he raises a finger to the crowd.]

Dave - Okay, okay, get the camera off him!

Rick - Whew. This guy's attitude has gone straight down the crapper lately, Dave.

Dave - No kidding. He's become almost totally disengaged from the world around him. And judging from that rather impolite gesture, it's pretty obvious that as far as Swanson is concerned, the world can go hang itself.

Rick - A lot of our fans probably wish HE'D hang HIMself, but scarily enough, it's starting to look more and more like something he'd actually do! Sean Swanson is a man in need of a support group, in a big way!

[Swanson moves to the corner and wedges the flagpole behind the turnbuckles as his music trails to silence. And then the lights go dark once again.]

Pattera - And his partner...

[Even before the name is announced, the crowd is already renewing its hateful booing. The dim blackness of the PlanetTron is the only source of light; camera flashes pop in the stands. Suddenly the giant screen fills with swirling gold sparkles that dance and spin, then converge into a large gold maple leaf. A white line crosses the leaf, becoming a chrome-like bar. "Captive Heart" begins to play, with the maple leaf pounding like a heart, the silver bar spiking in rhythm. Abruptly the image explodes into a million bright particles, and yellow pyro shoots up from the stage. The arena lights come on again, and the ramp is now occupied by Ken Jansen and Valentine. They are decked out in matching gold and black wrestling singlets, black pads, and white boots. Jansen peers out over the booing fans through mirrored glasses, the gold megaphone in his hand. Valentine holds up a sign that reads: "SPRING BREAK IS OVER". Jansen scans the audience with a grin, and raises his megaphone to his face.]

Jansen - Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, to part two of a four-part mini-series called "How Canada Conquered the World"! Our saga kicked off with me and Sean Swanson dominating The American Way at Aftershock... And this epic tale will conclude at No Vacancy, when Swanson and I capture the Tag Team Titles- and I finally become the World Heavyweight Champion!

[The fans give a ferociously negative response to that. A drink cup flies onto the stage, spraying soda all over the grating.]

Jansen - But tonight's chapter begins with our second tournament win over you, James Morgan and Seldeenia, and ends when Valentine and I put Xander and Anya on ice later tonight! Ken Jansen is ready to pull a double-header right here on Shockwave... Are you ready?

[The crowd boos intensely. Jansen takes that as a yes. He and Valentine start to make their way down the aisle.]

Jansen - Then let me introduce your second opponent! Accompanied to the ring by the beautiful, the deadly, the original blonde bombshell, Valentine... From Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada... Standing six feet and weighing in at 245 pounds... I am the greatest wrestler in the world today, the man who lives up to all the hype, the winner of the 2000 Battle for the Crown... And soon to be a co-holder of the Tag Team Championships- not to mention the next PW Heavyweight Champion of the World... I am the "Heartbeat of Canada", KEN JANSEN!

[The arena fills with groans of disgust. Jansen smiles at the reaction as he and Val arrive at ringside. Jansen hands his specs and the megaphone to Valentine, then climbs into the ring and joins Sean Swanson in his corner. "Captive Heart" fades out.]

Dave - The man who needs no introduction, because he supplies his own...

Rick - You know how gaseous matter expands to fill any available space? That's what Ken Jansen's ego is like. And there's an awful lot of space inside the Planet Dome.

Dave - [Slight pause] I thought you were going to crack a bathroom joke just now. Hmm, maybe I misjudged you.

Rick - Well, uh, I WAS about to say that Jansen's personality stinks like--

Dave - [Cuts him off] Okay, that's enough of that, thank you! Anyway, folks, you couldn't find a bigger contrast in temperament between these two teams. On one side, you have a pair of unabashed party animals... And on the other, you have a depressive sadist paired with a raging egomaniac who has a-- [Chuckles] --BIZARRE yen for figure skating.

Rick - Bizarre, maybe... but it's going to make for a wild "Stars on Ice" Match later on! But before Jansen can lace up the skates with Valentine, he and Swanson have to get through Morgan and Seldeenia.

Dave - Right. It'll be technicians against flyers here, with the right to advance to the semi-finals up for grabs! Jim Pattera is exiting the ring and referee Pat Rodgers is calling for the bell...

[Ding, ding, ding!]

*** James Morgan & Seldeenia vs. Ken Jansen & Sean Swanson - Tag Team Tournament Quarter-Final Match ***

Dave - It looks like it'll be Ken Jansen and James Morgan starting things off tonight, and Morgan seems eager to lock up...

Rick - Hold it, Jansen is holding up his hand and telling Morgan to wait. Now he's going to the ropes and asking Valentine for the megaphone... What is this all about?

Dave - Oh brother, like he hasn't done enough talking already...

[Ken Jansen walks to the center of the ring and addresses Morgan with the megaphone.]

Jansen - Look, I'm going to lay it all out for you two. I have another match tonight, so I want to get this one over with as fast as possible. Since you both know you're going to lose anyway, why don't you make it easy on yourselves and just forfeit? Sean and I'll move on, and you'll save yourselves a beating.

[He spreads his hands magnanimously. The crowd is beginning a "Jansen sucks" chant; Morgan is giving him a look of stupefied incredulity.]

Dave - [Blowing up] Can you believe the unmitigated GALL of this man?! The utter SELFISHNESS?! Does he REALLY expect Morgan and Seldeenia to voluntarily forfeit themselves out of the tournament?!

[The cameras pick up the sound of Dave Deyo's fingers angrily crushing a format sheet.]

Rick - Control yourself, man.

Dave - Rick, Ken Jansen is making a mockery of this tournament. He goes on and on about respect for the business, hard work, defending his honor, and so on... and then he pulls this. Not that I'm surprised. But we've been putting up with this for almost two years and I'm--

Rick - HOLD THE PHONE! Morgan just spin-kicked the megaphone out of Jansen's hand! It went spiraling over the top rope, and I think it flew into the crowd! Jansen's staring at his hand, like he can't believe the damn thing isn't still there! And Morgan's going to the ropes, shaking his fist in the air! The fans are going NUTS over this!

Dave - Finally, a little justice! I see Valentine's gone to the guardrail to try to locate the megaphone, but what right-thinking fan is going to give back a souvenir like that? Up in the ring, though, Jansen is storming over to Morgan- he spins him around and gets right in his face, squalling about the loss of his precious megaphone... And Morgan is cupping a hand to his ear, pretending he can't hear- he pantomimes putting a bullhorn to his mouth, and asks Jansen where his speaking device is!

Rick - [Laughing] This is great! He's mocking Ken Jansen right to his face!

Dave - OH! He paid for it, though! Jansen grabbed him around the waist and threw him overhead with a belly-to-belly suplex!

Rick - I don't know if getting Jansen angry was a good way to kick things off, but there you are; maybe this'll inspire the "Heartbeat of Canada" to stick around for this match after all.

Dave - Well, Morgan is getting up again, but Jansen's right on him with forearm shots to the face. He hooks him up in a front facelock- lifts- and down with the vertical suplex. Morgan to his feet again- Jansen with a swinging neckbreaker takes him down again! And Jansen now covering for the pin: 1, kickout.

Rick - Barely a one-count there, but it's way too early to expect a pinfall in this match.

Dave - Both men are back up, and Jansen is beckoning Morgan to attack. Morgan comes in with hands forward- Jansen with the grapple- hooks him up in an inside cradle! But before referee Pat Rodgers could drop for the count, Jansen let him go! Why? Morgan up and charges him again- Jansen rolls over Morgan's hip and schoolboys him to the mat, leaning all his weight on the smaller James Morgan- 1... 2... Jansen releases again!

Rick - Looks like it's Jansen's turn to mock Morgan- only Jansen does it by making it look as if he could beat you in an instant, but decides not to. You'd think he'd be taking this match a little more seriously, considering there's gold at the end of the rainbow.

Dave - You'd think so, but apparently he's not treating Morgan and Seldeenia as a real threat here... Jansen picks him up, and it's a collar-and-elbow tie-up. Jansen with an arm wrench, twisting the arm backward against the shoulder joint... Morgan is trying to shift position to get out of it, but Jansen's got him covered. Morgan now attempting to get closer to the ropes, and he is slowly making progress- just a foot away and- No! Jansen tugs him away! And then he dares Morgan to try for the ropes again!

Rick - This man's obviously making fun of Morgan: He's actually letting Morgan approach the ropes, then yanking him away again by that twisted arm! Seldeenia is leaning over the top rope, stretching her hand out, but no luck there, as Morgan is being kept well away from his partner.

Dave - Jansen now forcing Morgan toward the Canadian corner, and it's a tag to Sean Swanson. Jansen continues to apply the arm wrench as Swanson comes in- and belts Morgan a hard one to the chin. Jansen exiting the ring now as Swanson takes over, ramming his knee into the midsection of James Morgan. The "Spring Break Kid" is feeling those shots, Rick. Here's a whip to the ropes by Swanson- reversed by Morgan! Sean bounces back and Morgan ducks his head for a back body drop- but Swanson gives him a boot to the face to put a stop to that! Morgan is staggered, and Swanson takes him by the head- standing headscissors applied, and it looks like he's going for the piledriver here. No! Morgan is blocking it, trying to backdrop the much-larger Sean Swanson! I don't know if he can do it-

Rick - BAM! Swanson clubs him across the spine with his forearm! So much for that!

Dave - Morgan really needs to mount a comeback here, as he's being thoroughly overpowered by Jansen and Swanson so far. Swanson stands him upright- starts in with stiff rights and lefts, backing him up to the ropes. The referee is warning Swanson to back away, but he's pointedly ignoring Pat Rodgers... Sean with Morgan's wrist, whips him back into Jansen's corner- and there's the tag to Ken Jansen. Jansen and Swanson take him by the arms, and it's a double whip to the ropes- Morgan back- right into a double elbow by the Canadians! And Morgan goes down.

Rick - This has got to be difficult for Seldeenia to watch; she must be just itching to jump in there. If things keep up this way, she might not even see any ring time!

Dave - Swanson goes back to the corner now, and Jansen is picking Morgan up with a handful of hair... Whoa! Morgan actually fighting back now- swinging closed fists into Jansen's abdomen! But Jansen clamps on a side headlock, starts cranking on the neck- Morgan grappling for a way out- he pushes Jansen into a whip toward the ropes, but it's reversed! Jansen stands poised to catch him in a powerslam- NO! Morgan goes WAY low with a dropkick to Jansen's shin! It knocks him down on one knee! HO-HO! And Morgan follows up with a nasty kick to the side of Ken's head!

Rick - Jansen's suddenly caught off-guard here, and Morgan's capitalizing in a big way with a lightning-quick flurry of kicks to the sides, the arms, the head- Jansen can't cover up against all of them!

Dave - OH! A roundhouse kick right to the face puts Jansen on his back! And James Morgan is up and doing a dance in front of him!

Rick - Now would be a great time for him to go for the tag-

Dave - But instead, he's taunting Jansen while the "Heartbeat of Canada" struggles to get back on his feet! Jansen makes a grab for him- Morgan slips away! Jansen on the chase now- LOOK OUT! Seldeenia off the top rope with a MISSILE DROPKICK! Ken Jansen never saw her coming!

Rick - The tide may be turning, Dave! This crowd's really getting behind Morgan and Seldeenia here! But Sean Swanson and Valentine aren't too happy about this!

Dave - Ken Jansen is fighting to get off the canvas, clutching his jaw- Watch Seldeenia behind him- low blow! Jansen doubles over in a very masculine agony!

Rick - Valentine's REALLY not happy about that!

Dave - Aaaand- Scissor kick by James Morgan bounces Jansen's forehead off the mat! Morgan rolls him over and hooks the leg: 1... kickout. Not quite a two-count on that. The referee is hustling Seldeenia back to her corner now, while Morgan brings Jansen up... It's a short-arm whip by Morgan- into a scissor trip! And Jansen goes face-down again! James Morgan has taken control of this match, Rick.

Rick - Yes, and it's got to come as a surprise to Jansen and Swanson, who probably didn't expect much in the way of technique from their adversaries tonight. I have to say I'm impressed at the way Morgan and Seldeenia are working together in this match.

Dave - That's the approach they'll need to rely on if they're going to get past two athletes of Jansen and Swanson's caliber... Although, with Jansen kissing the mat like he is, he sure doesn't LOOK like a man who's scheduled to compete for the World Heavyweight Title at No Vacancy! At any rate, Morgan is doing the right thing and staying on him- pulling him up, hooking the head and turning- neckbreaker coming up. No- Jansen puts his hands up to break Morgan's grip- spins and grabs him in a rear waistlock- BIG released German suplex! Jansen brings Morgan's momentum to an abrupt halt!

Rick - And with Morgan down and holding his neck, Jansen is wisely going to his corner and tagging out to Swanson. ...Huh. Swanson just said he's going to take "that little bastard" apart!

Dave - Now would be a good time to remind our younger viewers that not everybody you see on TV is a role model, Swanson perhaps least of all... But he is a dangerous man, no doubt about that. Swanson leans down to pull Morgan off the canvas- Morgan is flailing with elbows- but an elbowsmash by Swanson to the temple takes a little of the fight out of the "Spring Break Kid". Swanson grabs him by the neck and under the leg- DRIVES him with a T-bone suplex! Sean follows right up by hauling him upright, goes behind- double chickenwing applied... He throws him up and over in a tiger suplex! Swanson bridges for the pin: 1... 2- kickout by Morgan. James Morgan's looking a bit disoriented at this point as he sways to his feet- he spins to find Swanson- OH! Lariat by Swanson cuts him down!

Rick - Dave, Seldeenia's climbed through the ropes in an attempt to go and help Morgan, but the referee is holding her back... She's practically gnashing her teeth over there! And at ringside, Valentine's all but laughing at her- for whatever reason, she's really getting a kick out of seeing Seldeenia chomping at the bit but being unable to do anything.

Dave - Meanwhile, with the referee distracted, Jansen is re-entering the ring as Swanson stands the groggy James Morgan up... Swanson and Jansen now taking positions on opposite sides of him- they charge at once- HOLY CROW! Swanson speared him in the back of the knees at the same moment that Jansen hit him with a hard shoulderblock- and Morgan was spun upside-down!!

Rick - Seldeenia is pushing and shoving at referee Pat Rodgers, frantically trying to make him turn around and see that blatant double-teaming, but he thinks she's just being difficult... What is wrong with these officials, anyway? They can't see, they can't hear- what do we pay them for?

Dave - I get the feeling that they're around for the benefit of the rulebreakers, frankly... And Jansen is still illegally in the ring, as he and Swanson haul Morgan up again. It's a double whip to the ropes- another double elbow coming up?

Rick - NO! SPINNING HEEL KICK by James Morgan to Sean Swanson! Swanson hits the mat! And Morgan's scrambling for the corner! Almost there!

Dave - No! Jansen dives- grabs his leg and pulls him back! He was SO close! Morgan somehow hopping up on his one leg- WHOA! Nails an enzuigiri and Jansen goes down! He can still make it to Seldeenia in the corner-

Rick - Go James!

Dave - NO! Swanson just hurled himself forward and dropped an elbow to Morgan's spine, stopping his progress. Man... That was a hell of a comeback. I thought he was going to make it just now.

Rick - You and me both, Dave...

Dave - Swanson is picking him up again, grabs him by the wrist- short-arm whip into a lariat drops Morgan to the mat. Sean hauls him to his feet- takes him in a front waistlock- Overhead belly-to-belly suplex- OH! NO! UNBELIEVABLE! Morgan countered it in mid-air into a SWINGING DDT!! Swanson is driven skull-first by that desperation maneuver!! Sean Swanson is down, his head in his hands- and Morgan is crawling toward his corner!

Rick - The crowd is on their feet! Seldeenia is straining to reach...

Dave - Morgan extends his hand- There's the tag! And Seldeenia's in like a shot! Ken Jansen is starting to climb into the ring- but Deeny rushes over- CUFFS him upside the face with a closed right hand!

Rick - And that's brought Val up on the apron in a real hurry, as if SHE wants to take a swing at Seldeenia here- but the referee is ordering her to get down or risk disqualifying her team. Meanwhile, Morgan is back up, and he and Seldeenia are stalking Sean Swanson, who's just now getting up after that swinging DDT...

Dave - Seldeenia rushes him! And slides low, between his legs! Swanson instinctively leans over to grab her- but Morgan catches his head in a front facelock- Deeny grabs Sean's legs- they lift! And PLANT him with their patented Spike DDT!!! This could be it! Morgan goes and grabs the ref as Seldeenia makes the cover: 1.... 2.... NO! Referee Pat Rodgers is dragged out of position by Ken Jansen! That was a close call!

Rick - Look out for Morgan- he charges Jansen and leaps- high cross body that sends the "Heartbeat of Canada" stumbling back into the ropes- and they BOTH fall over and out of the ring! That leaves Seldeenia and Swanson alone inside the squared circle; and while Swanson's just had his egg scrambled, Seldeenia is as fresh as can be. Will that overcome the enormous size difference between them?

Dave - I guess we're about to find out! Swanson is slowly regaining his vertical base, and Deeny's running into the ropes- she comes back with a spinning heel kick- No! Swanson caught her! It looks like he's cradling an infant in there! Sean throws Seldeenia's legs down but keeps his grip on her head- slips his other arm under her arm and folds it back against the side of the neck- Good GOD! He just lifted her off her feet with that hold!

Rick - Dave, that's a kata hajime- a deadly judo choke! It's also illegal! But Swanson doesn't even care- he's actually wrenching her back and forth, making her body swing from side to side! Whether or not Seldeenia realizes it's a banned hold, she's waving her arm in submission- and I think her face is turning blue! Where's the referee? He needs to break this up!

Dave - Damn him, he's leaning over the ropes, trying to order Ken Jansen and James Morgan back to their respective corners... Those two are taking shots at each other, but you get the notion that Jansen is doing it specifically to distract the ref. And as for Valentine, well, she's cheering Swanson on! She just told him to "squeeze her head off"! Wait- the referee is now sliding back into the ring, and he sees what Swanson's doing- he's issuing an angry five-count to make him release the hold!

Rick - And, of course, Swanson waits until JUST before the 'five' before doing it... He lets Seldeenia go, and she just flops to the mat like a rag doll. Jesus... I hope she's not dead. Dave - No, thank goodness, I see her twitching and coughing harshly- not that THAT's such a good sign in itself! But the way Swanson is standing over her, arms outstretched as he stares out at the crowd... I think he enjoyed what he just did. In fact, I think he's proud!

Rick - Look at Jansen in his corner, though- he's signaling for Swanson to pin her while she's weak. You recall that Ken Jansen wants to be done with this match as fast as possible- probably more so now that he knows Morgan and Seldeenia have some bite to go along with their bark.

Dave - Swanson going down for the cover: 1... tw- kickout. He waited too long on that one, and Seldeenia had a chance to recover her senses a little, though she still looks haggard... Sean pulling her easily off the mat- she's barely half his weight, Rick. And what's this- Swanson drawing his thumb across his throat- a sign that he's got something evil cooked up for her! He goes behind with a rear waistlock... Deeny thrashing uselessly- Swanson throws her up and over- German suplex! But he holds on- rolls over- lifts her again! And- ANOTHER German suplex! Seldeenia's taking those drops right on the back of her head! Swanson STILL holding onto her waist, rolls over- stands her up again and- a THIRD German suplex!

Rick - Good God, he's going to cripple her!! James Morgan is throwing a fit in his corner; this crowd is booing Swanson mercilessly! But Valentine is clapping and laughing her head off at Seldeenia's plight! We're seeing a sadistic side of Val I don't think we've really seen before, Dave...

Dave - You want to talk about sadistic- Swanson hauling Deeny off the mat- and a FOURTH German suplex! Get in there, ref! Put a stop to this!

Rick - This is sickening... but you know, Dave, there's nothing technically illegal about this. It's just, well, it's crossing the line! But it looks like Swanson is going to stop at four Germans, as Seldeenia's been reduced to an immobile carcass sprawled on the mat...

Dave - And this man is actually leaning over the ropes, flipping off this furious crowd-

Swanson - F<bleep>K YOU AND F<bleep>K THE WORLD!!

Rick - Thank goodness for the broadcast delay!

Dave - He has absolutely NO regard for the well-being of that young woman. She may be smaller and less powerful, but this is totally uncalled-for. Swanson's just bullying her now, and the fans are informing him of their displeasure!

Rick - On that note, Jansen is clapping his hands in an effort to get Swanson's attention- Sean seems almost transfixed by the negativity of the crowd. But he finally turns to look... Jansen puts his arm in the air and taps a finger against his wrist- a pretty clear message that time's a-wasting while Swanson pats himself on the back. But is he worried about Seldeenia recovering, or is he more concerned about how long this match is taking, vis-a-vis his other match later on?

Dave - It's all selfishness where Jansen is concerned, Rick. But Swanson is returning to Deeny's motionless form, rolling her onto her back and making the cover- this could be all she wrote: 1......... 2........ THR- NO! NO! Seldeenia got her shoulder up!

Rick - Amazing! I thought it was over!

Dave - SOMEHOW, after FOUR German suplexes, Seldeenia has the stamina to continue- though part of it has to do with how much time Swanson wasted in celebrating. But Sean is still in control, as he hauls her to her feet by a handful of her long dark hair- and it's a whip into the Canadian corner- the heart of enemy territory! And Morgan's had enough- he's trying to enter the ring, but referee Pat Rodgers is blocking him... And even Sean Swanson is going over to Morgan's corner, taunting him!

Rick - Oh, for God's sake- Dave, look at Ken Jansen: He has the Canadian flag wrapped around Seldeenia's throat! Seldeenia's being choked in the corner, and the referee is totally oblivious! And to top it off, Valentine is reaching under the bottom rope and grabbing at her ankles, so Deeny has to kick her feet AND fling elbows in an effort to get out of her predicament!

Dave - That's to be expected from Jansen, but I'm more than a little surprised at the malice being shown by Valentine here... It's like she's doing her level best to antagonize Seldeenia. But in the ring, Pat Rodgers is getting annoyed at Swanson's antics and is ordering him back to his corner- so Jansen unwinds the flag from Seldeenia's neck and raises his hands- clean as a whistle, or so he'd like us to believe! But the evidence to the contrary is standing against the turnbuckles, choking and hacking! Here comes Swanson- he makes the tag to Jansen. Jansen directing Sean to move her a little distance away from the corner- Ken going to the top rope- he dives over her head- into a sunset flip! Referee makes the count: 1... 2... LEGDROP by Sean Swanson across the face of Seldeenia! Jesus Murphy! Why'd he do THAT?

Rick - Swanson HAD to get that extra shot in- but whether or not he realized it, he broke up Jansen's pinfall! Referee Pat Rodgers is NOT happy about this action by Swanson- he's telling him to get out of the ring before he gets disqualified! And ol’ Pat’ll DO it, too!

Dave - Jansen's not exactly smiling either; he's telling Swanson in slightly peeved tones that he's TRYING to just pin Seldeenia already and end the match... Swanson just shrugs disinterestedly in response, makes a gesture like, "Go on and do it then." I have to say, with Seldeenia having taken so much punishment in the last few minutes, that shouldn't be hard to do... OH! LOOK! Seldeenia just rolled Jansen up from behind in a schoolboy! Referee with the count: 1... Tw- Strong kickout by Ken Jansen!

Rick - He was distracted and Deeny almost made him pay for it!

Dave - Jansen is up like a flash and going for Seldeenia- grabs her head to pick her up- WHOA! Seldeenia hooked Jansen's head and knee and pulled him down in a small package! 1... 2... Kickout again by Jansen! Deeny's making a comeback with some very basic, very sneaky moves right out of Jansen's own playbook! Ken back on his feet but so is Seldeenia- he charges- armdrag takedown by Seldeenia, using Jansen's momentum against him! Jansen rushes her again- another armdrag!

Rick - Listen to this crowd- they're going absolutely INSANE! Seldeenia is using the ropes for support, still weak from the beating she's been taking, but by God, she's fighting for everything she's worth!

Dave - Valentine is howling at Jansen to demolish her- Jansen climbs to a standing position again- but Seldeenia's on the move! She jumps up- hurricanranna! OH! NO! Jansen grabbed hold of her legs and didn't flip over! Seldeenia's hanging by her legs from Jansen's neck- Jansen moving his grip down to her waist- PILEDRIVER! GOOD LORD! What a DEVASTATING counter! And Seldeenia is once again flat on her back, clutching her head!

Rick - But Jansen not going for the pin... Instead, he's going to his corner- and climbing to the top rope! Don't tell me he's going for the Heartstopper!

Dave - That's what Val apparently wants him to do- but he's protesting that it'll kill Seldeenia! Remember his story about the ketchup packets- if he double-stomps her from way up there, they'll be cleaning Deeny up with a mop and a bucket! But instead, he's slapping his elbow- you know what's coming up! The leap- and CONNECTS with the flying elbowdrop! Clean impact into a cover!

Rick - Wait! Swanson's up on the top rope now!

Dave - The referee is in position: 1....... 2.......

Rick - HO! Swanson dives!

Dave - HOLY CRAP! Jansen spots him and throws himself out of the way at the last split-second- and Swanson hits a kamikaze headbutt to the chest of Seldeenia! Double pain for poor Seldeenia, but what was Swanson THINKING?! It was only the finely-honed reflexes of Ken Jansen that prevented HIM from being the recipient of that headbutt!

Rick - All I can think of is that Sean Swanson must have interpreted this as a good time for a double-team attack, while Jansen was just trying to make the pin... And as a matter of fact, they're actually arguing over this! You don't even need to hear the dialogue- the body language is clear enough. Jansen is tapping his wrist again, and jerking his thumb toward the curtain: he's saying he wants to finish the match ASAP because he needs to get ready for his bout at the skating rink. But Swanson is pointing at Seldeenia and at Morgan, and making the motion of snapping something in two- obviously, he wants to do more damage to the two party-goers before the final bell!

Dave - But while those two Canuckleheads are trying to get their act together, Seldeenia is dragging herself across the canvas, heading for her corner!! Morgan is leaning over the rope as far as he can go without actually falling into the ring, his hand reaching desperately- Seldeenia extends her arm- They're within INCHES of touching!

Rick - Jansen and Swanson aren't even seeing it! But Swanson claps Jansen on the arm, tagging himself in as the legal man, and Jansen is just throwing his hands in the air in exasperation-

Dave - Seldeenia with a final burst of energy- THE TAG! She did it! And Morgan is in like a missile! He rushes the Canadians- DROPKICK to Jansen! Ken tumbles between the ropes! JUMPING ROUNDHOUSE KICK to Sean Swanson! Swanson lurches to the side, holding his tattooed face in utter shock! Now Morgan is in position and beckoning Seldeenia to make one last run- she does- Morgan clasps his hands as a springboard and Deeny leaps over his head- COLLIDES with Swanson in a flying vertical body press!! Swanson drops like a tech stock with Seldeenia sitting on his chest!!

Rick - That's a tandem move that they call the "Hangover Effect", folks- and you can bet Swanson will be feeling THAT in the morning!

Dave - No kidding! Seldeenia is retreating to the outside now as Morgan takes control- he circles Swanson as Sean unsteadily gets off the mat... Swinging neckbreaker by Morgan takes Swanson down again! And Morgan immediately dashing to the corner- hops up to the top turnbuckle- the jump aaaand- DOWN with a TREMENDOUS flying legdrop across the throat of Sean Swanson! Morgan with the cover: 1... 2... Shoulder up. Morgan's gaining momentum here! He raises Swanson off the mat with a fistful of that blue hair- a whip to Seldeenia's corner- no, Swanson reverses it- NO! Morgan reverses it again into an armdrag, and Sean Swanson spins into the turnbuckles! Seldeenia entering the ring now, and she and Morgan taking position directly in front of him-

Rick - And it's kick-o-mania!! Morgan and Seldeenia are launching a two-pronged assault- kicks high, low, and in between- and Swanson is literally TRAPPED in the corner! He can't defend against all those shots, Dave- a lot of them are striking cleanly! Ken Jansen is FUMING over at the other end of the ring- but Valentine is rushing around to Morgan and Seldeenia's corner... She lunges her arm under the bottom rope and takes a swipe at Seldeenia's leg! HO! Seldeenia returns with a sharp kick that catches Val in the forearm! And the referee is there, ordering Val sternly to get back to her own corner! She goes, but not quietly, that's for sure...

Dave - Rick, Sean Swanson has been completely staggered by that barrage of kicks! As Seldeenia returns to the apron- shooting an evil look Valentine's way- Morgan is taking Swanson in a side headlock... Could be a bulldog coming up! He begins running toward the middle of the ring- OH! Swanson grabs him in a rear waistlock- lifts and twists- HARD belly-to-back suplex breaks it up! And both men are down, their chests heaving as they catch their breath...

Rick - Man... Not to disparage the abilities of James Morgan and Seldeenia, but I didn't expect them to give Ken Jansen and Sean Swanson THIS much of a fight, THAT’S for sure. And I'm sure the Canadian Invasion didn't expect it either!

Dave - You're not kidding there, Rick. But it's like you said- there are Tag Team Championship belts on the line in this tournament, and we always see the heat turned up just that much more when it's about gold! I see Morgan starting to roll over, with Seldeenia clapping her hands to rally some support for him- and the fans are getting into it! And Swanson is stirring too, with Jansen and Valentine encouraging him... Morgan turns to find Sean- OOHH! SPEAR! SPEAR by Sean Swanson! James Morgan hits the mat like a sack of buckwheat! I think his head bounced!

Rick - And Jansen is leaning over the ropes, reaching his hand out for the tag- Swanson picking himself up- he jumps forward- and there's the tag!

Dave - Jansen is in, and he sees Morgan trying to crawl for his own corner- DROPS the elbow across the back of the neck. Jansen now dragging Morgan into a neutral corner, and he calls Swanson over. They stand him up- and it's a double whip- HARD into the opposite corner! Morgan's back took a lot of impact- that's on top of all the damage he's taken already. Now Swanson taking Jansen's arm- whips HIM toward Morgan in the corner!

Rick - HO! Morgan dives out of the way!! Jansen SMACKS into the turnbuckles sternum-first!! He actually rebounded out of the corner after that! He's coughing and clutching his chest as Morgan slowly gets back up...

Dave - Look out! Morgan with a big kick to the upper back of Jansen sends him stumbling- and he throws himself toward his corner- TAG to Seldeenia! And Seldeenia to the top rope- the dive- OH! SUMMER-STUNNER!! She NAILED Ken Jansen with that WILD flying somersault neckbreaker!! That's her signature move, folks, and she delivered it PERFECTLY! Jansen is curled up on the mat, clasping his neck in his hands in what has to be GREAT pain!

Rick - Did you HEAR the pop that Seldeenia got from this crowd for that move?! And Valentine is pounding the apron in frustration!

Dave - Take a look at Seldeenia- approaching the ropes and flicking her tongue piercing at Val, rubbing it in! OH! NO! Val just grabbed Deeny's ankles- she's dragging her out of the ring!

Rick - Oh man, this situation between Val and Seldeenia has been percolating since this match began! Looks like it's gonna boil over now!

Dave - Seldeenia's fighting and flailing, but Val's got her securely- pulls her down to the floor, reaches down and grabs her in a front facelock- starts putting upward pressure on her head, like she's going to lift her in the air-

Rick - No, Dave, she's threatening to give Deeny the Dynamite Driver! On the FLOOR, no less!

Dave - Valentine has LOST it, Rick! But the referee is climbing outside to break it up- Meanwhile, Jansen is STILL down in the ring! And James Morgan, seeing an opportunity slipping away, re-enters the ring and drops onto Jansen with a cover- but there's no referee! And now Sean Swanson is leaving his corner as well to go after Morgan- Morgan rising to meet him- LARIAT by Swanson, ducked by Morgan... Morgan with a spinning kick catches Swanson as he passes, and Sean falls into the ropes- But Jansen is getting up! OH! Just BLITZES Morgan from behind with a dropkick!

Rick - Jansen and Swanson are double-teaming Morgan again, but the referee is too busy trying to separate the women outside the ring! Of course, THAT's no small feat in itself!

Dave - Swanson is pulling Morgan off the mat, hooking him up from behind- lifts him in the Snap-Back Suplex! Into a Jansen neckbreaker! DESTRUCTIVE tandem move by the Canadians, and Morgan is OUT!

Rick - Pat Rodgers has SOMEHOW split Valentine and Seldeenia apart, and he's THIS close to sending Val to the back... Meanwhile, Deeny's rushing into the ring again! Does she know her partner's been demolished?

Dave - Oh no! Swanson is standing right there to greet her! She rises- RIGHT into a flapjack by Swanson- Jansen jumps- SUPER PANIC BREAKER!!! LORD ALMIGHTY! She's been FLATTENED! The referee is telling Swanson to go back to his corner, but Jansen tags him in as the legal man... and Jansen is heading over to where Morgan is still lying. He's ascending the turnbuckles as Swanson pulls the limp Seldeenia off the mat and sets her up in a standing headscissors...

Rick - They both signal for the finish! It'll be just like at Aftershock, when they double-finished and double-pinned the two members of The American Way!

Dave - Jansen with his arms in the air for the Heartstopper- But no! Morgan is rolling out of position! He gets on his knees- LUNGES for the top rope, and Jansen is knocked off-balance! OUCH! He crotches himself on the top turnbuckle!

Rick - Swanson with the waistlock- flips Seldeenia WAY up- and DRILLS her with that CRUSHING Canadian Impact!! He drops and leans his weight on her: 1.......... 2.......... 3!!! That's it!!

[Ding, ding, ding!]

Pattera - Your winners by pinfall.... SEAN SWANSON and KEN JANSEN!

["Captive Heart" kicks in.]

Rick - The fans aren't liking this outcome too much, Dave- they really wanted Morgan and Seldeenia to pull this one off. And I'll tell you, there were a few moments during that match when I thought they would, too!

Dave - Absolutely, especially when Jansen and Swanson began having communication problems... Wait a second, Swanson looks like he's not finished with Seldeenia. He's pulling her off the canvas again, and setting her up for ANOTHER Canadian Impact!

Rick - Over in the corner, Jansen is gingerly trying to get down off the top rope- HO! Morgan springs off the second rope with a spin kick- and Jansen takes the plunge to the floor! But his partner's about to get IMPACTED a second time!

Dave - Swanson swings her up- Morgan charges! BIG front dropkick to the side and Swanson staggers- drops Seldeenia- Morgan with a running lariat sends Swanson over the top rope! He's cleared the ring! Morgan and Seldeenia may have lost the match, but they sure went down fighting!

Rick - Valentine is tending to Jansen on the floor... He just asked her if she ever found the megaphone, and she's saying no. Sorry, that thing now belongs to one of our enthusiastic fans! It looks like Val wants to get back in the ring and mix it up, but Jansen is pointing up the ramp- of course, they have another match to prepare for. I guess Ken Jansen and Valentine are going to leave matters as they are, and make their exit!

Dave - Morgan and the VERY unsteady Seldeenia are giving them a mock send-off from inside the ring... Sean Swanson is stalking around the ringside area, just glaring at Morgan and Seldeenia, as if he's undecided about whether to dive back in... Morgan seems to be inviting him to step up if he really wants to- but as Swanson reaches the base of the ramp, he just stands and does his crucifix taunt...

[The "Debonair" remix hits the speakers. Swanson's mouth curls in a malicious grin. Then he turns and makes his way up the ramp.]

Rick - Well, I think that, despite the business after the bell, Swanson and Jansen got what they came for tonight, which is the right to advance to the semi-final round of the Tag Team Championship Tournament. Swanson wanted to prolong the punishment, but he certainly can't complain about a victory either way.

Dave - As for Morgan and Seldeenia, they didn't come out on top tonight, but their day will come! Heck, Morgan's even bringing the cooler into the ring- passing a brewski to Seldeenia and opening one for himself in a bit of a celebration of a strong effort tonight! These two are quite popular with the crowd already, Rick, and I can see them becoming huge fan favorites down the road.

Rick - If they throw me a beer, I'll join their fan club too!

Dave - You're working.

Rick - [grumbles] ...

Dave - And besides, you won’t want to miss a SECOND of the action that’s still to come. Up next it’s yet ANOTHER of the quarterfinal Tag Team Tournament matches, and it’s sure to be interesting, Rick. We’re going to have the four-time Tag Team champions, the AngelKillers, taking on the latest tag team to hit Planet Wrestling, none other than the “Hardcore Hoods”. And with these teams taking each other on, we’re sure to see an interesting array of innovative maneuvers from BOTH sides in this quarterfinal match.

Rick - You got that right, Dave. On one side of the coin, we have the AngelKillers: a veteran team with a prosperous history in the Tag Team division, and they are determined to take back what THEY believe is theirs. On the flipside, we have a rookie tag team known as The Hardcore Hoods. They may show a lot of promise, but you have to wonder if they are really prepared to face The AngelKillers tonight. They’ve appeared a few times already on Planet Wrestling TV, notably on two occasions when they launched brutal attacks on Nemisis... But this'll be only their second official match. And if nothing else, for that reason alone, you can’t count this team out: no one, not even the AngelKillers knows what they can expect from these two, and that may well prove to be their biggest advantage in facing the tag team experience exhibited by a team like the AngelKillers. It'll be interesting to see what they have planned tonight. And speak of the devils, I think The AngelKillers are about to enter the arena any second now, so let's get to it!

[The bell rings.]

Pattera - This match is scheduled for one fall.........

[Almost on cue, "Halls Of Illusion" By ICP plays as The AngelKillers, accompanied by Marcus Draknor, burst through the curtain, and flip the fans off, bringing up a not so pleasant reaction from the crowd.]

Pattera - Making their way to the ring, accompanied by Marcus Draknor, weighing in at a combined weight of 439 pounds, They are THE ANGELKILLERRRRRRRRRRRRRRS!

[They then walk down the aisleway, walk up the steps, and enter the ring, raising a middle finger over each of their heads, bringing about more boos from the crowd.]

Dave - The AngelKillers look heavily confident right now.

["Halls Of Illusion" cuts to "Natural Born Killahs" by Dr. Dre and Ice Cube, as The Hardcore Hoods, Homie G and Showtime, enter the arena, with Homie G dancing and strutting.]

Pattera - Making their way to the ring, they hail from Vancouver, B.C., they are Homie G and Showtime, THE HARDCORE HOOOOOOOOOOOODS!

[There are some cheers, but most of the fans are quiet, not sure what to think about this new tag team. The Hardcore Hoods slide in the ring, and Homie G dances a little more. Referee Danny Dickson splits up the teams to put in the legal men, and signals for the bell. The bell rings.]

*** The AngelKillers vs. The Hardcore Hoods - Tag Team Tournament Quarter-Final Match *** Dave - And we start off this match. Showtime and "Kamakize" start as the legal men, and are circling around the ring. They tie up, and Takahashi wins it, twisting Showtime's arm and driving an elbow down into Showtime's shoulder.

Rick - The AngelKillers gain the early advantage. Takahashi picks up Showtime, and whips him to the ropes. Takahashi waits for Showtime to run up to him, and executes a near-perfect High-Leg Clothesline. I must say, "Kamakize" is performing at 110% percent now.

Dave - Well, it's still only very early into the match, so we don't know that just yet. Anyway, Takahashi picks up Showtime, and whips him to the......NO WAIT! Showtime reverses the whip, and Takahashi is sent to the corner.

Rick - Now Showtime walks over to the corner, and works on Takahashi with some punches. Showtime cocks his arm across him, and gives him a hard chop!

crowd - WOO!

Rick - And another!

crowd - WOO!

Dave - Did you hear the sound of those chops across the chest? Those were sickening thuds. I even think it was enough because Takahashi is down.

Rick - Showtime, walking over to his corner. It's obvious he wants to make a tag. Homie G is tagged in, and immediately jogs over to Takahashi. Homie G rolls him over, and proceeds with an arm wrench. He is even punching him in the kidney. He soon lets go. Ravenger trying to get in to make a save, but Dickson stops him in his tracks and argues at him to stay on the apron. While that goes on, Homie G calls back in Showtime, and they set Takahashi up for a double suplex. They nail it, causing some major pain to "Kamakize"'s back.

Dave - The ref finally turns around, but the damage is done. Homie G goes over to the fallen AngelKiller, and picks him up to his knees. Ravenger distracts the ref, and Takahashi capitalizes with a low blow, sending Homie G down crying in pain. Ravenger lets Dickson do his job, and Dickson turns around and watches closely. Takahashi gets up and scrambles to his feet. He tags in Ravenger, and Ravenger whispering something in Takahashi's ear. Ravenger now- picks up "Kamakize" in an atomic drop position.

Rick - I wonder what they're planning....

Dave - Ravenger then launches Takahashi from his arms, and Takahashi drops, falling in a leg drop across the neck of Homie G. He picks up G and whips him to the ropes.

Rick - And follows up with a hurricanranna to Homie G. Showtime running up from behind, but Ravenger catches him and clotheslines him. Dave - Ravenger turns around to Homie G, but gets hit with Homie G's Lou Thesz press- he calls that the Guranga Bang Ya, ladies and gentlemen! Now he's laying in the punches. He stays on him for the pin. 1.. 2.. thr... JESUS that was close!

Rick - Indeed, Derek barely kicks out. He gets up, with Homie G waiting for him. He then picks him up, and sets him up for a powerbomb, but he just holds him there. As a display of strength, he now walks over back to Showtime, and tags him in.

Dave - This is intriguing. Showtime walking towards the top rope. Akira is trying to get in the ring, but is stopped by the ref. Meanwhile, Showtime dropping down and reaches under the ring to pull out a chair?! COME ON! This isn't fair.

Rick - It isn't fair at all, but nevertheless, Showtime is gonna go through with this. He climbs the ropes. He's at the top, holding the chair still. He holds it up in the air, and some of the crowd starts cheering. Ravenger is STILL held up in that suspended powerbomb position by Homie G! Meanwhile, Dickson is still arguing with Takahashi in the opposite corner.

Dave - I wonder if the referee has ANY clue of the more important matter going on right now. And what the hell could Showtime possibly be doing?

Rick - Well who knows? Showtime is poised with the chair- he jumps off the turnbuckle with it!

[A crack is heard, and then a thud is heard.]

Dave - OH MY GOD! Did you see that, Rick?! Showtime rode that chair like a snowboard and slid across Ravenger's chest!

Rick - And Homie powerbombed him down at the same time!! I did see that, and I think the Hoods call it "Surfing Canada"!! What an INSANE tandem move! Wow!

[The crowd starts chanting "YOU'RE CRAZY! YOU'RE CRAZY! YOU'RE CRAZY! YOU'RE CRAZY!......."]

Rick - And that’s followed up by a strong chant by the crowd. They're really getting behind these Hoods! Homie G holding him for the pin. Dickson finally turning around and proceeds to count. 1.. 2.. Takahashi makes the save, but gets forced back behind the ropes by the ref.

Dave - Now Showtime getting in the ring while Homie gets out, and starts stomping on Ravenger. He picks him up, and throws a punch, but it's blocked by Ravenger. Another punch is thrown, and blocked! Ravenger starts laying in punches, and grabs Showtime's hand, and whips him to the ropes. He then does a standing dropkick, sending Showtime down. Ravenger scrambling to his feet, and- makes a tag to his teammate "Kamakize"!

Rick - Takahashi walks over to Showtime and picks him up. Ravenger and Kamakize both hook Showtime's head, and execute a double DDT! Dave - Impressive work by the AngelKillers, who seem to have regained precious momentum. Takahashi gets to work on Showtime while Ravenger gets back behind the ropes. Takahashi picks up Showtime. He does yet another whi....WAIT Showtime revers....WAIT! Takahashi just reversed the reversal whip!

Rick - Showtime runs smack into referee Danny Dickson, and both he and the ref collapse.

Dave - Homie G gets in, and charges at Akira.....

[CRACK!]

Dave - Holy Mother Of God! Ravenger just charged in there, grabbed the chair in mere seconds and smacked Homie G on the head good.

Rick - What a sickening sound that was. Now Takahashi stands Showtime, who is dazed, up, and calls over Ravenger. They stand together, and take a hop back. They get into a strong supportive stance. They shuffle in, and smack Showtime's face with a double superkick!

Dave - What a move that was! Now Ravanger going over to referee Danny Dickson, and waking him up. Takahashi covers Showtime. The referee finally scrambling to his knees, and crawls over towards Takahashi and Showtime, and begins the count. 1.... 2.... 3!

[Ding, ding, ding!]

Pattera - The winners of this match, THE ANGELKILLERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRS!

["Halls Of Illusion" plays as The AngelKillers and Marcus Draknor celebrate in the ring. The crowd boos as Ravanger and Kamakize exit the ring, talking trash about the fans, their opponents just minutes ago, and anything else they would be mad about now. The AngelKillers and Draknor exit the arena as Homie G finally gets up and tends to Showtime. The shot cuts to the announcers’ table.]

Dave - The Hardcore Hoods putting up an impressive showing here against the more experienced AngelKillers, but Draven and Takahashi showing just why they’ve been on top of the tag team division more than any other team in Planet Wrestling today, and that’s solid teamwork.

Rick - yeah, much to the dismay of the fans. I think that they’d like to see some more of the Hoods “Surfing Canada” all OVER the ‘Killers, if ya’ know what I mean.

Dave - Indeed I do, Rick. [pauses] Hold on a second... [pauses] I’m being told that something just happened moments ago in the backstage area, and someone was on the scene to catch it on tape. Let’s go to that now!

[The shot cuts to a corridor backstage, where Ken Jansen and Valentine are returning to their locker room. Jansen has his straps pulled down, and Valentine is removing her finger gloves. She pauses by a water fountain and nudges him.]

Valentine - Hey, I'm just going get some water.

Jansen - Okay, I'll go grab the bags and meet you outside.

[Jansen heads around a corner as Valentine stoops to take a refreshing drink. She stands upright again and wipes her mouth with the back of her hand, then continues down the hall. Suddenly, without warning, Xander rushes in from behind and swings his monkey wrench into the back of her knee. Val collapses on the floor with a cry, hugging her leg to her chest.]

Valentine - [Bewildered] Why me?! Oh God, why me?!

[Xander gives a satisfied grin and rushes off; Anya, appearing in the hall behind him, follows close on his heels, looking appalled. She glances at Val, then back to Xander.]

Anya - What did you do that for?

Xander - [Shouting] Come on, let's go!

[They round a corner and disappear. Valentine clenches her jaw in discernable pain and glares after them. We cut back to ringside.]

Dave - Good God! What the heck was THAT all about?

Rick - I think it’s obvious, Dave: it’s looking like Xander’s sending out a strong message to the Jansens that their “Stars on Ice” match later tonight isn’t going to be all glitz and glamour or fun and games. It’s going to be an icy war out there... Do you think I should go see if Val’s alright?

Dave - Keep your shirt on, Rick. If there’s any updating on her progress that’ll be coming to us, I’m sure that Tommy Glide will be on the case later during the broadcast.

Rick - But she may want someone to hold in her time of need-

Dave - ANYway, Rick, one has to wonder if there’s more to Xander’s motivation in this attack. I didn’t expect this kind of... well, quite frankly, chap-shot from the man. It’s not unlike the attack by the AngelKillers on him that cost him the Extreme Championship not so long ago in a way, and that was an attack that he was absolutely appalled at. I have to say that I expected more from Xander.

Rick - Same here, Dave, but there’s a lot of pride on the line for both teams in that “Stars on Ice” match, and you have to wonder what kind of frame of mind Xander’s in right now: he’s staring down a husband and wife team who allegedly have some sort of skating experience from what I can gather, and he’s teamed with Anya, who didn’t even KNOW she was signed on for this match until it was almost too late. Heck, she didn’t even seem to know what this attack was going to be all about from her reaction to the attack. And besides that, he and Anya have already been through a grueling stalemate tonight with two seasoned PW veterans. Maybe he KNOWS when to hedge his bets, and he’s trying to postpone this match until a later date... at No Vacancy maybe?

Dave - Well, if that shot’s impact was as nasty as it looked, it may well take Valentine that long to recover, so maybe he is vying for the match being bumped.

Rick - OR, for that matter, maybe he thought he could get away with the whole thing without being caught and have him and Anya get a “by default” win tonight.

Dave - If that’s what he had in mind, I’m willing to bet that the Front Office will have something to say about that line of reasoning.

Rick - But enough with the speculation of what’s going to happen, Dave, we’ve got a card to finish! And this next match is one that I know that *I’VE* been anticipating for a while now. Not that I’d like to even so much as ATTEMPT to predict the outcome of THIS coin-flipper: You KNOW that I’m talking about Rudy Rudos and the TW Champ Drunkaholic taking on “The Gold Dragon” and the “Ice Man” in Tag Tourney quarterfinals action!

Dave - And what a match it should be, indeed, Rick. All four of these men are fierce competitors, and each one of them would like nothing better than to be the one to get the pinfall tonight and get THAT much closer to having tag gold around their waist.

Rick - You got that right, Dave. And I have a feeling that whoever wins this, that they’ll be walking into Throttle with the scars to prove it, ‘cause neither of these teams is going to be going down without one heckuva’ fight. I don’t know about you, but I can’t wait another minute: let’s hand it over to Pattera.

[The bell rings, and the shot cuts back to the ring.]

Pattera - Ladies and gentlemen, this next match is a Tag Team Tournament Quarterfinal match and is scheduled for ONE fall...

[ “No” by Soulfly bombards the arena, and Rudy Rudos emerges from behind the curtain. He wears a red and black luchador mask and a pair of dominantly black tights with the letter "R" in blood lettering on each of the legs and matching red boots. He also sports a tye-died t-shirt. In his hand, he carries a kendo stick. He starts making his way toward the ring.]

Pattera - Introducing first, from New Jersey, he is “The King of the Barrio Street”... Rrrrudy Rrrrruuuuudoooos!!!

[The fans issue a collective boo. Rudos climbs up onto the apron, shouts something at the crowd, then leapfrogs over the top rope, into the ring. The music is then abruptly replaced by Rancid’s "Blacklisted", which is met by a mix of mostly boos and some cheers. Stomping backward and spinning from the backstage curtain comes Drunkaholic, fists flailing. Around his waist is a foam-rubber-looking cheap replica of the PW Trans World belt. He stomps around in a haphazard fashion down the ramp. Arriving at ringside, he snatches a beer from one of the fans, and downs it in a flash.]

Rick - Well, you win some, you lose some, I guess.

[Drunkaholic barely makes it into the ring, when his music is interrupted by a strings version of “Greensleeves”. Immediately, the arena is flooded with a Golden-hued light, and the crowd goes berserk, clamoring to their feet, and rushing toward the ramp when Kevin Peterson, as well as Matt Michaels emerge from the entranceway. Michaels does his standard posing as fireworks shoot into the air, all while Peterson puts on a shadowboxing Martial Arts technique demonstration.]

Pattera - And their opponents...

Dave [talking over the announcement, and over the fans’ cheering] - Peterson and Michaels coming to the ring together tonight, and that just goes to how the kind of team unity that these two have, Rick. These teammates are focused, determined and I’d have to guess that they’re on the same page.

[Making their way to the ring, a young Oriental woman hangs over the hail and wraps her arms around Peterson. Peterson smiles at the ecstatic fan’s attention, and gently tries to pull himself loose, despite the lady’s grip.]

Rick - And there’s just one example of the loyal fanbase that these two men have, folks. I’m sure that woman has been waiting for AGES just to get to SEE a competitor like Kevin in action, and she’ll be going home with some great memories tonight.

Dave - It’s hard NOT to go home with a lot of great memories after seeing a PW show, Rick. With all the tremendous athletes and matches on every card, visiting the Planet Dome for a PW taping is an unforgettable experience. And let me tell you that there are hundreds of other young fans just like that young lady here who are envying her position right now.

Rick - But people are here to see those great matches, Dave, and security’s acknowledging this by gently pulling that gal off of Kev, so that we can see this match get on the road.

[The camera shows the girl waving her Kevin Peterson poster and cheering wildly with tears of joy in her eyes after the two are separated.]

Rick - Another satisfied customer, Dave.

Dave - And just another testament to the fact that this man is starting to get the respect he deserves for his incredible talent in the ring and charisma away from it. Rick - Kevin and Matt are getting into the ring now, and Danny Dickson already anticipating trouble and cutting the ring in half with extended arms, to try to keep these twp teams separated...

[The music cuts and the lights return to normal.]

Dave - Referee Danny Dickson is trying to keep things under control here, and when you consider that Rudy Rudos and Drunkaholic are in one corner in this match, he’s doing an admirable job. Drunkaholic now stepping through the ropes and to the apron, and surprisingly it looks like we’re going to start this one clean, with Rudy Rudos in there against Matt Michaels.

[The bell rings.]

*** Rudy Rudos & Drunkaholic vs. Kevin Peterson & Matt Michaels: Tag Team Tournament Quarterfinal match ***

Dave - And here we go, folks! This match is underway, and it’s a collar-and-elbow tie-up off the opening bell. Michaels coming out on top with a wrist lock and twisting Rudos into a arm wringer. Michaels levering on the pressure and delivers a shot to Rudos’ shoulder. But Rudos now somersaulting himself onto the mat- rolling to his feet to flip Michaels- NO! He’s chopped down with a clothesline before he could complete the counter!

Rick - Nice anticipation there on Matt’s part, Dave, but Rudy’s right back on his feet and charging- hip toss by Michaels! Rudy up again! RIGHT back down with an arm drag! Rudos on his feet again and rushing Matt- another arm drag by Matt Michaels!! The “King of the Barrio Streets” again on his feet and charging in- Matt with ANOTHER- No- Rudos with the block! Shot to the abdomen by Rudy- Michaels folding- Rudos flipping out behind Matt- small package! 1- 2- Michaels with the kickout! Wow! Rudy almost won this match before it even started!

Dave - But he won’t catch Michaels that easily, Rick, especially not this early in the match. Both men to their feet and locking up once again... Rudos backing Michaels into a neutral corner- OH! Bigtime knife edge chop to the sternum by Rudos! Rudos winding up to dish out seconds- but Michaels grabs him and shoves him into the corner! OH!! And a great big right rand from Michaels rocks Rudos!

Rick - Rudy looking a bit stunned from that wallop, Dave. Matt With Rudos- whips him into the opposite corner! And Michaels now, tagging in Peterson...

Dave - The Golden Dragon in the ring to meet Rudos in the corner. And a European uppercut by Peterson! Peterson now- hip tossing Rudos into the middle of the ring! Peterson following him out there and scooping Rudos off the canvas- whips him to the ropes- Rudos off- FLATTENED on the mat with a Peterson spinebuster!

[We get a quick glimpse of the ringside fans, where we see that the young Oriental lady we’ve seen early is cheering Peterson on enthusiastically. Shot cuts back to the ring.] Rick - And let me tell you that the fans liked that one, Dave. But Kevin now, bringing Rudos over to his corner and tagging in the “Ice Man” back in! They’re setting up- double snap suplex on the luchador! Rudos having some difficulty with this team so far, Dave, but even more remarkable, if you ask me, has been Peterson’s intense but reserved manner in this match: I know that any lesser man would be hellbent on pulverizing a man like Rudos if he had the chance, given Rudos’ vicious kendo stick shot to Kevin’s face after their recent kendo stick match.

Dave - You’re not kidding! But Peterson definitely managing to keep his cool so far in this match, and having the confidence to tag in his partner, Michaels who- OH!- JUST executed a beautiful slingshot suplex on Rudos, much to the approval of the fans. Michaels now with Rudos again- scoops him up and slams him down in the middle! Michaels now pointing to the heavens, and he’s going upstairs, folks! The crowd is on it’s feet! Michaels- will he get it?! NO!! Nobody home! Rudy Rudos narrowly rolling out of the way of a Matt Michaels flying elbow drop! That one could have been over RIGHT there, and Michaels coming so close to hitting the mark. At the very LEAST, Rudos has just helped keep his team’s chances of moving on in this tournament alive, folks.

Rick - No doubt about that, Dave: Rudy’s been having an uncharacteristically tough time generating any offense for himself so far in this match, but this may be the chance he was looking for to pick his game up dramatically.

Dave - He’ll have to hurry! Matt Michaels is holding his elbow gingerly, but he’s already getting back to his feet. There’s a reason that he’s been called one of Planet Wrestling’s most resilient wrestlers... Rudos using the ropes to get top his feet and Michaels charging in- BACK body drop by Rudos, and Michaels is sent to the ringside floor!

Rick - A big mistake there by Matt, and true to form, Rudos isn’t wasting any time to rub his nose in it, either. Our viewers at home all have an idea of what Rudos can do inside the ring when it comes to wrestling, Dave, but thanks to our censors, you have to see the man live to get a real taste of the downright nasty verbal abuse that the man can dish out.

Dave - No question about that, Rick. Rudos’ foul language can be almost as intimidating as his in ring ability... Michaels now levering himself to his feet as Danny Dickson makes the count... But Rudos off the ropes- holy MOLEY!! Rudos just used the top rope as a springboard to propel his body through the air and absolutely LEVEL Matt Michaels with a flying crossbody!!

Rick - Like him or likely hate him, one HAS to give “New Jersey’s First Luchador” credit for a move like that, Dave. Heck, he deserves credit for even THINKING about using that move! And there’s no bones about it: Rudy Rudos knows he can’t afford to fool around any more. He can taste his first PW gold again, and he’ll do whatever it takes to get it, INCLUDING taking big risks like the one we just witnessed.

Dave - Uh-oh. Things suddenly looking even worse for Michaels, because here comes Rudos’ partner, Drunkaholic to join in on the carnage. Peterson cutting into the ring- but he’s stopped in his tracks by Danny Dickson, who’s blocking his path and holding him at bay. But Drunkaholic and Rudos on the outside with Michaels- double lift- OH!!! Michaels just DROPPED throat first across the steel rail! And now the pair is crushing the man with a series of devastating stomps to the head and chest! This is just AWFUL!

[The crowd boos intensely, while the fans at ringside do their damnest to tell the referee to turn around and face the action.]

Rick - But it’s what a team like Drunk and Rudy does so well, Dave. As far as I’m concerned, it’s just a part of tag team wrestling. You know that if Matt and Kevin had the chance, that they could do the same exact thing.

Dave - Oh, come ON! Michaels and Peterson have MORALS, Rick! They fight with honor! A concept, I might add, that’s altogether foreign to Rudy Rudos or Drunkaholic, as far as I’m concerned. Drunkaholic now with Michaels from behind- OH!!

[Collective groan from the crowd.]

Dave - Drops him GROIN first this time on the safety rail!

Rick - Ow... And now Rudos with a handful of hair and just tugs Michaels off the rial and onto the ringside mats.

Dave - Danny Dickson finally getting Peterson back to his corner and turning to face the action- and he’s pointing now at the Trans-World Champion and instructing HIM to get back to his corner. Oh, but look at this: Drunkaholic raising his hands to feign innocence.

Rick - Dickson’s aware that the man’s no angel, Dave, but he calls ‘em like all refs should: as he sees ‘em. And since he didn’t actually SEE Drunk get involved, the man’s innocent.

Dave - In your twisted world, maybe, Rick, but you know as well as I what just happened. But the damage has been done regardless, and Rudos now rolling a battered Matt Michaels back into the ring... Rudos climbing the apron... Vaults into the ring- LANDS the guillotine legdrop! Michaels clutching at his throat and Rudos with a cover: 1- 2- Michaels kicking out forcefully! The Ice Man still has some fight left in him!

Rick - Yeah, but for how long, Dave? I know he’s resilient, but the man HAS to be weakening... Rudos pulling him off the mat now and setting him up and twisting- hits the hangman’s neckbreaker. Rudos obviously zeroing his attack in on Matt’s neck and it seems to have slowed Michaels to a screeching halt, Dave.

Dave - No WONDER, Rick: it Michaels’ neck was dropped across cold steel for goodness sake. Rudy Rudos is doing nothing more than capitalizing on his partner’s intervention in the match, and now he’s dragging Michaels around by his wrist... going to the legs now and setting up for a catapult- DRIVES Matt’s throat into the bottom rope! Rudos back on his feet and taunting Peterson now. Peterson's got to be tempted folks, but the man is showing TONS of self discipline and holding his ground on the ring apron! Rudos back to Michaels and dragging him over to his corner and tags in Drunkaholic. And a doubleteam series of stomps all OVER the body of Matt Michaels. Drunkaholic now, using the sole of his boot to choke Michaels out, and using the ropes for additional leverage on it! Danny Dickson on the five count... and now warning Drunkaholic to break the illegal choke or be disqualified, and finally the Trans-World Champion easing off- but Rudy Rudos getting right in there and taking his place!! Danny Dickson physically ushering Rudos to the apron, but Drunkaholic taking advantage by going right back to the boot across the throat!! This team, ladies and gentlemen, is showing an absolute disdain for the rules, and doesn't seem to be phased in the least by anything less than a serious threat to be disqualified... and by God, they have to be testing referee Danny Dickson to that end already.

Rick - That they are Dave, but they know as well as anyone that with a match like this, in a tag team tournament, that disqualification'll be that much less likely due to the importance associated with these matches.

Dave - Yeah, and they're milking that as much as they possibly can while they're at it, too... Drunkaholic with Michaels now... German suplex by Drunkaholic, again dropping Michaels on his neck and upper back area to compound the damage already done. And NOW, Drunkaholic taunting Peterson, trying to lure the Gold Dragon into the ring, but lo and behold, it's STILL not working folks! Peterson's patience in waiting for the tag HAS to be wearing thin right about now, but if it is, I know I'd never be able to tell: he's still looking cool but intense, but you have to wonder how he keeps his emotions in check so well at a time like this.

Rick - No doubt about it, Dave. He may be seeing his partner in a scrape, but Kevin's exhibiting nerves of steel and a cool head despite it all. Drunkaholic now back to Michaels and locking on a camel clutch submission! And let me tell you, this has REALLY got to be putting the pain on Michaels! This could be it-

Dave - OH! HUGE Save by Peterson, and what a KICK he nailed Drunkaholic with to do it, too!

Rick - Yeah, and Drunk felt it, too, Dave, judging by the way he's holding is shoulder, there.

Dave - Peterson quickly and smartly to the apron, but Drunkaholic again with Michaels, and the "Ice Man" isn't out of hot water yet. Pulling him upward off the canvas and into an arm wringer... bringing him to the corner and making the tag-in to Rudos. Drunkaholic holding Michaels' arm up and Rudos to the top- DOWN with a shot to the arm! Michaels is in trouble here folks, and he desperately needs to be making the tag. Nevertheless, it's Rudos taking over- locking Michaels up into an abdominal stretch...

Rick - Rudos may be trying to send a message out to Jansen here... You'll remember that was the very same hold that the 2000 PW King used to beat "the King of the Barrio Streets" in their infamous "I quit" match.

Dave - It's a day that Rudos hasn't forgotten, I'm sure of that. The referee in there now and looking for a submission...

[The fans begin booing loudly.]

Dave - Oh, but now look at this! Rudos using the top rope to apply extra pressure on Michaels behind the referee's back! The fans and Peterson crying foul to the official, and finally the referee checking it out- but Rudos releasing the ropes at the last second!

Rick - This is the type of thing that you have to expect when facing a man like Rudos, Dave: he's one of the craftiest wrestlers in the business, and you have to be ready for him to bend some of the rules a bit. And now he's using his hands to put the pressure on Matt's neck, too! What a great wrestler...

Dave - Wait a second- again! Again Rudos has snuck a hand back to the top rope for more leverage on the abdominal stretch!

[The fans boo and yell at the ref furiously.]

Rick - I don't think he's looking for a submission here, Dave, so much as he's trying to tempt Peterson into the ring...

Dave - Yeah, so he and Drunkaholic can do more double-teaming damage on Michaels while Danny Dickson's back is turned!

Rick - You make it sound so devious, Dave...

Dave - That's because it IS!!

Rick - It's just a part of tag team wrestling, Dave, and in matches where the gold is within reach, it's an even bigger part of the game.

Dave - It doesn't have to be that way, Rick, and we both know it. Rudos though with a firm hold of that rope to wrench the stretch on and he's really racking Michaels' body, all while yelling taunts and insults over to Peterson! The ref asking Michaels again, but the former Extreme Champ is still holding on!... FINALLY!! The referee just caught Rudos, folks, and he's instructing him to break the hold. Rudy Rudos reluctantly releasing Michaels, who's slumping to the mat with a grimace of pain... Rudos looking a little frustrated that he was caught in the act, but it severed him right for focusing more on trying to goad Peterson into the ring. Rudos turning his attention back to Michaels- whips him into the corner! Tag is made to Drunkaholic. Drunkaholic into the ring- BIG knife-edge chop on Michaels in the corner! OH! And a shot to the throat there by the Trans-World Champion! Referee Danny Dickson warning him again, but I really don't think that the Drunkaholic CARES. Michaels doubled over and gasping for oxygen, and Drunkaholic now clubbing the Ice Man with a series of forearms to the upper back. Setting Michaels up with a standing headscissor- pick up- POWERBOMBS him down! Drunkaholic making the cover! 1... 2... thr- no! Michaels just BARELY getting the shoulder up! I'm not sure how, but he did!

Rick - No mater WHAT anyone says about Matt Michaels, Dave, we’ve just seen another example of why he's always a contender in this business, and that's the fact that he's so VERY tenacious and never, EVER says die. I don't know how he does it, but somehow he always finds SOME way to dig down deep to stay alive in a match when lesser men would roll over and call it a night.

Dave - And Drunkaholic knows it, too, Rick, You can tell that he's a bit frustrated after that near fall, and you know that he HAS to be wondering how much more punishment this man will take before he can be pinned. Drunkaholic now with Michaels on his feet- Irish whip into a neutral corner! Drunkaholic rushing in- Michaels up and over Drunk and rolls down into a pinning combination! 1... 2... NO!

crowd - OH!!

Dave - Michaels NEARLY took home the surprise win for the team, but Rudy Rudos came in with the quick save! OH!!! Peterson in there in a flash, and just clotheslined New Jersey's first luchador to the outside!!!

[Rudos tumbles to ringside, where we see the enthusiastic your Kevin Peterson supporter we’d seen earlier cheering like mad, along with the other ringside fans.]

Dave - The crowd on their feet for Peterson and cheering him on. Peterson grudgingly heading back to his corner, but WOW was that ever a near-fall for Michaels.

Rick - Simply unbelievable, Dave. Michaels not only helping his team stave off elimination there, but after all he's been through tonight he's STILL managing to mount some degree of offense AND came close to winning the match. The man's incredible, Dave.

Dave - There's no doubt about that, but Drunkaholic's a little less appreciative of the Ice Man's efforts right now, and showing him that with series of brutal stomps on Michaels.

Rick - His temper's starting to flare, Dave, and that might be REAL bad news for Matt...

Dave - Drunkaholic now dragging Michaels back to his corner and tagging in Rudy Rudos, who only just now made it back to the ring apron. Rudos in there with Drunkaholic and each man holding a leg-

Rick - Make a wish!

Dave [along with the crowd] - OH!!!

Rick - Rudos and Drunk with the ol' wishbone on Matt, and despite still being in this one and DESPERATELY needing to make a tag to his partner, Matt's GOT to be wishing he'd stayed home tonight.

Dave - He'll be icing up his body after this match, that's for sure. Rudos now going back to work on Michaels and twisting on a spinning toehold to continue working on the leg now... OH! And a stomp to the knee by Rudos! Rudy Rudos now with the leg again and flipping Michaels over for a single-leg crab! Rudos once again is putting more pressure on Michaels' back, and we could well be looking at a submission here! Michaels screaming and he must be in absolute AGONY as Rudos REALLY wrenches back on him! But true to form, by God, Michaels is fighting it, and so far anyway, he's absolutely REFUSING to submit!! Michaels pushing himself up, and CLAWING his way closer to the ropes... but he's JUST out of reach!! And now Rudos leaning back even FURTHER on the hold and laughing sadistically!!

Rick - With Matt pushing himself up the way he is and Rudy leaning back like that, there's WAY more pressure on Matt's back, Dave, and he's just INCHES away from that bottom rope, but Rudy's not budging!

Dave - Michaels struggling... NO!!! Rudos dragging Michaels back to the center of the ring!! He was TOYING with him! Rudos taunting the crowd! Look out! Peterson- OH!!! There it is!!! THERE'S that deadly right hand!! Peterson had seen and heard enough, and he knocked Rudy Rudos off of his partner and FLAT on his backside! Rudos has the wind knocked out of him from that one, folks, and he's trying to regain his senses, but SOMEHOW Matt Michaels, the Ice Man, is trying to crawl back to his corner now. Peterson seeing it and rushing back and reaching his hand out... Michaels on knees and elbows and moving with everything he has left ladies and gentlemen! The crowd is on its feet in this jam-packed Planet Dome, and every ONE of them is rallying behind Matt Michaels to show their support. Peterson yelling to serve as a beacon for the Ice Man, and stretching as far as his body will let him!! Michaels almost there... almost... can he make it!? Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand- HE DOES!!! Rudos back to his feet and Peterson right in there- BACK down goes Rudos from a flying forearm! Drunkaholic in the ring- clotheslined by Peterson!! Rudos up with a head full of steam- hip toss by the Dragon! Drunkaholic up and charging- BIG TIME high back kick to the jaw by Peterson that stops the Trans World Champ like he ran into a steel girder! Drunkaholic rolling to the outside, and the fans here are giving the Gold Dragon an ecstatic standing ovation for his efforts.

Rick - And he deserves it, too, Dave! What a great display of pent up energy and intensity to help turn the tide of this match in his team's favor! Peterson not wasting any time whatsoever either and now whipping Rudos into the ropes- shoulder block by Peterson puts Rudos back on the canvas! Peterson on the run- springboard- LANDS the moonsault! Covering! 1... 2- No! Only a two count.

Dave - Peterson back to the offense and setting Rudos up- suplex by the Dragon! Rudos with his hands full here, and the fans are eating it up! Pulling Rudos back up- and sends him RIGHT back down with a Judo-style throw! Peterson quick off the ropes- DOWN with the elbow drop! The man is ON FIRE in there!!

Rick - He'd been building all that energy while stranded out on the apron, Dave, and now he's letting his opponents have it.

Dave - You're not kidding! Peterson pulling Rudos to his feet and hooking the arms- double underhook suplex! Floatover for the cover- 1... 2- Rudos getting the shoulder up again before the three. Kevin Peterson is on the tear, and Rudos and Drunkaholic had better stay alert.

Rick - Kevin with Rudy again off the mat- whips him to the corner and into the turnbuckles goes Rudy Rudos. Peterson following him in- and this could be trouble for the luchador, Dave! Peterson’s hoisting Rudy Rudos to the top and going up there with him! He’s pointing to the rafters- Good GOD!! Hurricanranna from the TOP by “The Gold Dragon”!! What a MOVE!!!

Dave - You’re not kidding, Rick! Executed to perfection! And the cover: 1... 2... OH!! And Drunkaholic hammering down with the lunging elbow for the save! This one would have been over without it, folks! Drunkaholic quick to head back to the apron at Danny Dickson’s direction, but it’s still Peterson in control of things... Pulling Rudos up by the mask- STIFF chop to the chest by Peterson! Rudos fires back with a chop of his own! OH! And a cheap poke to the eyes by Rudos to stun the “Gold Dragon”. Rudos lunges- and tags in the Drunkaholic!

Rick - And Drunk in there like a shot with a big right- blocked by Peterson! Left- blocked! Peterson with a boot to the midsection- sunset flip! 1... 2... Drunk with a kickout! But they’re back up! Peterson with a spinning back kick- ducked by Drunkaholic! Drunkaholic with a clothesline- Peterson ducks- catches him in a waistlock from behind- Drunkaholic with the reversal! Schoolboy rollup! 1... Peterson kicks out! Peterson hops to his feet- boot to the midsection by Drunkaholic! Drunkaholic with the sunset flip! 1... 2... Peterson rolls it! 1... 2... Drunkaholic rolls it- and using the ropes! 1... 2.. Th- OH!! Peterson with the kickout!

[We get a quick shot of the fans at ringside booing Drunkaholic’s tactics.]

Rick - Drunk ALMOST had the match won there! Wow!

Dave - But not without some rather underhanded work, Rick, and a number of the fans here are really roasting him for it. Drunkaholic and Peterson though back on their feet and circling... closing in- Peterson with that big punch- Drunkaholic sidesteps it- hooks him up- and into a backslide!! 1... 2... Peterson slips out of it- and pins Drunkaholic’s shoulders to the mat! 1... But Drunkaholic powers out of the predicament before the two-count and rolls to his stomach. Slapping the mat in frustration but back on his feet is Drunkaholic and lunging toward Peterson- clotesli- NO! Peterson grabbed onto it- crucifix rollup! 1... 2... Th- OH!!! Rudy Rudos BARELY making the desperate lunging save in time, but Danny Dickson is assuring everyone that was NOT a three count. Unbelievable!

Rick - And what a series of rapid near-fall exchanges between Peterson and Drunkaholic, Dave: the fans were on their feet for every one of them, knowing this one could have been over on any ONE of those attempts!

Dave - Indeed, Rick: these two are more serious than ever about finishing this match up, and don’t forget: Drunkaholic may well be thinking about his Last Man Standing match up next with Jonathan Paine!

Rick - You know he has to have that weighing on his mind somehow, Dave, but he seems pretty damned focused on Kevin Peterson at the moment, anyway. They’re circling each other again like a pair of caged animals, and here they go again! Peterson with a thrust kick- caught by Drunk! Peterson with the enzuguiri- Drunkaholic cleanly avoiding it! Grabbing Peterson by both legs- JESUS MURPHY!!! Wheelbarrow-style suplex!! And he’s bridging it! 1... 2.. Th- Oh MY GOD!!! Kevin Peterson was shaken up from that, but SOMEHOW managed to kick out before three.

Dave - I’m not sure if it was the training with Matt Michaels that gave him the helping hand, but Kevin Peterson really showing some solid intestinal fortitude of his own here tonight, folks. He’s shaking out the cobwebs from that last move, and Drunkaholic pulling him up- headbutt by Drunkaholic puts Peterson to a knee. And Drunkaholic boots him to the mat. Drunkaholic dropping the elbow into Peterson’s sternum! Back press and hooks the leg for the cover: 1... 2... Lordy! Peterson with a counter pin again, but Drunkaholic kicks out before the two count! These two are REALLY showing what they’re made of, Rick, with near fall after near fall, they’re keeping Danny Dickson on his toes!

Rick - That’s for sure! This is probably the biggest workout that Dan’s had in years! But Drunkaholic seems to be getting more and more ticked off as this match goes on, Dave, and that CAN’T be a good think for Peterson or Michaels. Drunkaholic- MOWS Peterson down with a clothesline! Peterson getting back up on rubber legs and Drunkaholic from behind- full Nelson applied by the TW Champ! He’s got it clamped on tight, Dave, and Peterson’s struggling to fight the grip for all he’s worth! Now Drunkaholic- OH!! GHETTO STOMP!!! He calls that full Nelson into a slam the Ghetto Stomp, Dave, and BOY did he EVER plant Peterson’s spine with it! Drunkaholic with the hook and the cover! 1... 2.. And Matt Michaels with the save to keep his team alive!

Dave - Not that it’s made Drunkaholic any happier, Rick! He’s going after Michaels like a rabid bull, and hammering away at the former Extreme Champ like there’s no tomorrow with a flurry of wild punches! But Peterson seizing the opportunity- schoolboys him! 1... 2... OH!!! And Drunkaholic kicks out despite it all.

Rick - Yeah, but Drunk’s REALLY ticked now, Dave! He’s back up and really laying into Peterson with a series of stomps! Drunkaholic pulling Peterson up now and scoops him up... holding him up there and walking toward his own corner-

Dave - Oh no. He’s hanging the “Gold Dragon” up in the tree of woe, ladies and gentlemen, and this does NOT bode well for Peterson. Kneelift to the midsection by Drunkaholic on a helpless Peterson- and another! Drunkaholic backing off now-

Rick - But running right back- OH!!! Sliding dropkick, RIGHT to Peterson’s FACE!! Brutal!

Dave - Danny Dickson’s seen enough of this, though, and he’s backing Drunkaholic off while he disentangles Peterson’s legs from the turnbuckles... Drunkaholic obviously would have liked to continue with Peterson in that upside down hanging position, but it simply isn’t going to happen.

Rick - He may not need it, though, Dave: look what he’s doing now! He’s got Peterson in the corner, and he’s hoisting him up to the top turnbuckle! Drunkaholic joining him up there... He’s hooking him up for a superplex! This could be what he needs to put the Dragon to sleep, Dave! Here we go- BLOCKED by Peterson! Drunkaholic with a shot to the ribs! Here it is- Kevin blocks again! Now Peterson with a shot to Drunk’s ribs! Drunk releasing the hold and firing back! Peterson with a chop! OH!! Headbutt by Drunk!! Peterson is busted open- JESUS!!!

Dave - Dear GOD!!! Peterson reeled back and slung that infamous punch of his right into Drunkaholic’s chest, and by the sweet PEA, he knocked the Trans World Champion OFF the turnbuckles, and three quarters of the way across the ring before he rolled to a stop!! What an ARM that man has on him! And the fans are going absolutely BALLISTIC for the Gold Drago- OH!!! No! That’s just not fair!

Rick - Rudy Rudos playing it smart, Dave: Peterson looked like he was going to try to take to the air and nail Drunk, but the King of the Barrio Streets hit knocked Peterson’s foot out from under him, causing Peterson to crotch himself on the top turnbuckle and tumble into the ring.

Dave- And now both men are down, and Danny Dickson is being forced to start the mandatory 10-count! Peterson’s fans rabidly behind him to make the tag, but the Dragon in a world of hurt right now...

Rick - We’re at two, Dave, and I know that we may just have a riot on our hands if we get another draw here tonight. Three... four... five... Thank God! Kevin Peterson just pushed himself up to his knees, and the ref stopped the count on him. If Drunk stays down, Dave, we could be looking at the big turning point right now... Peterson crawling on hands and knees toward his corner- WAIT! Drunkaholic using the ropes to pull himself up now, and using them as a guidewire to Rudos! The luchador has his hand stretched into the ring for a tag, but so does Matt Michaels!

Dave - Peterson progressing toward his corner at a snail’s pace, but he’s making it... he’s making it- BAM!! There it is! Tag made to Matt Michaels! Drunkaholic reaching for the tag- but Matt Michaels all over the drunken punk and bent on revenge! Laying into the Trans World Champions with a full body massage of stomps, RIGHT in the face of Rudos! Rudy Rudos climbing through the ropes, but the referee there to stop him! Finally! A taste of his own medicine!

Rick - And Matt now with Drunk off the canvas- picks him up in a front facelock- snap suplexes him down! Drunkaholic reeling from that, but Michaels standing Drunk up again- brings him back to the mat with a Russian Legsweep! Michaels floatover for the pin: 1... 2- foot on the rope by Drunk at two, and the referee saw it all the way. Michaels though, not letting it slow him down and has Drunk on his feet again- whips him to the ropes- Drunkaholic off- boot to the midsection by Matt- PLANTS Drunk with a DDT! Matt covering: 1... 2... Th- Rudos intervened and dropped the elbow, but the “Ice Man” dodged it, and Rudos elbowed Drunk right in the face! Rudos getting to his feet and looks mortified at what he’s done- TAKEN to the outside with a Michaels clothesline! Rudos sprawled out on the ringside mats, and the fans are all behind Michaels on this! Rudos is back on his feet, but he is ENRAGED while the crowd just laughs at him! Michaels again with Drunkaholic, and the Trans World Champ looks like he’s seen better days, Dave.

Dave - I think that DDT, combined with the Rudos elbow drop really caught him offguard, not to mention that incredible Peterson punch: I STILL think he’s reeling from that one, Rick. Either way, it’s Michaels in control of the pace of this match now- Irish whip on Drunkaholic into the turnbuckles! Michaels following in and jumping- lands on Drunkaholic- Monkey flips him to the center of the ring! Michaels with a Martial Arts style hop to his feet-

[The crowd roars in approval.]

Dave - Michaels pointing to the rafters, folks! I think he’s- YES! He’s going up top! Will this be the elbow drop? This is typically what he uses to set his opponents up to finish them off, Rick!

Rick - And it could be either Chill Factor or IceKick time from there... All eyes on Matt Michaels perched up on the top turnbuckle... Michaels- LANDS the flying elbow from the top!!!

[The crowd is going bananas.]

Dave - I’m having a hard time hearing myself think, here! The fans are loving this and their response for the “Ice Man” is ear-shattering! Peterson in the corner, even, who can be as stoic as a Vulcan sometimes, is hollering his approval for Matt Michaels. Michaels is pumped, and he’s- YES! He’s signaling for the Chill Factor! Michaels with Drunkaholic in the standing headscissor- NO! No, no, NO!!

[The crowd boos loudly in unison.]

Dave - Dammit! Damn him! Michaels HAD the win, but Drunkaholic, in an act of complete desperation and unfairness hammered Michaels below the belt! That was low, Rick, real low! Michaels crumbing to the canvas in a heap and the entirety of the male audience is feeling that man’s pain, let me tell you.

Rick - You got that right, Dave. Those low blows always give me that sick feeling in my stomach, no matter how many times I see ‘em. But Drunkaholic bought himself some precious breathing room, and that may be just what he needs.

Dave - Peterson’s making sure that the referee keeps his eyes on the match, but he’s letting him know just how much he thinks this whole situation stinks, and he’s letting Drunkaholic know just how much of a dirty cheat he is while he’s at it. And with everything the man’s put up with from Drunkaholic and Rudy Rudos, folks, I can’t say I blame him speaking his mind about their antics. Rick - Speaking of Rudy, where the heck did he go?

Dave - What? Hey!... Where DID he go?

Rick - I don’t know: last I remember, the fans were taunting him... Drunkaholic looks like he’s starting to come to his senses, but his tag team partner is nowhere in sight, and I’m not sure if anyone’s realized it quite yet... Drunkaholic now follow up- swinging neckbreaker! Drunkaholic looks like he’s running on fumes, but nevertheless, he’s getting back to his feet even though his knees are barely holding his weight, Dave: he’s practically looking like he’s out on his feet, and he’s staggering to the ropes to get some support. Do you get the feeling, though, that he’s walked that way more than a few times in his life?

Dave - He does seem to get the hang of sorting out two left feet pretty quickly. And now he’s moving toward his corner, and finally, Peterson has realized that Rudos isn’t where he should be, and he’s letting the referee know about it. But I think Danny Dickson’s about as clueless as we are on this one, Rick, and that’s what he’s trying to explain to the Dragon...

Rick - But in the meantime, Drunk’s backed himself into the turnbuckles and climbed to the second one, Dave, and he’s just standing there in a daze... What the heck is he do- wait a second! Michaels getting up! What’s Drunk pointing at- WAIT! Rudy Rudos on the-

Dave - OH!!! What the heck?!?!! Rudy Rudos came out from behind Peterson out of NOWHERE and clobbered the man with a punch to the back of the knee to knock him off the apron! Peterson on the floor and clutching his knee, and Rudos stomping away at it! In the ring, Michaels up-

Rick - Oh no! He’s waiting for- Drunk- OH!!! EXPLODING KEGGAR!!! HOW did he DO that?! Drunkaholic hitting his finisher, the somersault neckbreaker he calls the Exploding Keggar, and he shook the whole RING with that one! Danny Dickson turning around to catch the aftermath, and Matt Michaels is OUT COLD!!

Dave - Drunkaholic though out of breath and barely moving himself. Security coming to ringside to separate Rudos from Peterson... Drunkaholic rolling onto Michaels- 1... 2... 3! Dammit!

[The bell rings, and “Blacklisted” by Rancid plays.]

Pattera - Your winners, Rudy Rudos and Drunkaholic!!!

Dave - What robbery, Rick. I was anticipating this match as much as you, but it was soured in the end by a dastardly low blow by Drunkaholic, and then Rudos- where the heck dd he come from anyway?!

Rick - Your guess is as good as mine, Dave. Let’s take a look at the replay.

[The shot cuts from the shot of Rudos and Peterson being hauled apart at ringside to a slow-motion replay of the ring. In a shot from behind, we see the back of Rudy Rudos, looking up toward Matt Michaels on the top turnbuckle. Rudy looks over his shoulder at the crowd, then ducks down out of sight of the camera.]

Rick - Well, from what I’m seeing here, it looks like Rudos took a duck under the ring while everyone had their eye on Michaels before his elbow smash, Dave, and... let’s see here.

[Another replay comes up, this time on the other side of the ring, where we see Rudos lifting the ring apron and coming out from under the ring almost directly underneath Peterson, then smiling at the camera before popping Peterson behind the knee.]

Dave - OW! And THAT’S where he surfaced to prevent Peterson from putting a stop to this atrocity!

[Cut back to the ringside action, where Peterson and Rudos are still trying to get at each others’ throats through beefy security guys.]

Dave - And Peterson not happy in the least at this injustice, Rick, and I don’t blame him. Rudy Rudos continues to be a thorn in the side of “The Gold Dragon”, and there’s nothing better than Peterson would like to do than to get some retribution, I’m sure. Everyone has their limits, and after his team being cheated out of a shot at the Tag Team Championships-

Rick - HO!!

Dave - My GOD!! And Drunkaholic getting involved now with a baseball slide under the ropes that slammed into Peterson and sent him stumbling! Drunkaholic now leaving the ring, and now HE’S trying to get involved in this scuffle! Security having a hard time getting things under control here, and now pushing Drunkaholic back toward Rudos to keep them both in view togeth- WOAH!!! Matt Michaels just came FLYING over the top with a flying body press that took BOTH Drunkaholic and Rudos down!! I can’t believe Michaels is even AWAKE yet after the Exploding Keggar and all the damage he received on his neck, but the adrenaline must really be flowing through his veins and he’s REALLY laying the rights into the green-haired Drunkaholic!!!

Dave - Security’s tearing Michaels, kicking and screaming, off of Drunkaholic. They’re doing what they can to clear this scrum up, Rick, and they’re forming a human barricade between Rudos and Drunkaholic, and Peterson and Michaels, slowly moving the so-called winners of this match to the back to settle things down.

Rick - Of course, Drunk’ll be back out there in just a minute anyway for his NEXT match of the night... After this match, though, he may just be putting up more of a stink for the sake of getting a few extra minutes of breathing room...

Dave - We’re going to go a commercial while all of this gets sorted out, but when we come back, it’s a non-tilt LAST MAN STANDING match! Don’t tough that dial! [The shot cuts to a commercial for Throttle, previewing the battle royal for the shot at Jansen at No Vacancy, as well as an Extreme Rules, multi-man, weapons-filled ring match, the winner of which will go on to face the Extreme Champ at No Vacancy. “PW Throttle: get revved up!”. The shot cuts back to announcers David Deyo and Rick Richards at the announcer’s table.]

Dave - Welcome back to PW Shockwave ladies and gentlemen, and if you’re just joining us, I hope that your VCR has been recording everything that happened so far so that you can watch it later. Moments ago, we saw an underhanded victory by-

[Suddenly, Dave is interrupted by the booming sound of “Enter the Icon”.]

Dave - What the heck?

[The music continues to play, and The Icon splits the curtain and makes his way down to the ring with an angry look on his face.]

Rick - What is this all about?

Dave - I haven’t a clue, Rick. The Icon not scheduled for action tonight, but he’s on his way to the ring, and he looks like he has a bone to pick with someone, that’s for sure.

[Icon climbs into the ring and signals for a mic... Jim Pattera passes him one through the ropes.]

Icon - You people at the Planet Wrestling make me sick! How can you leave a man like the Icon out of your card! I am a Canadian Icon! The only reason I have not left this pathetic place is because of the talent, there are to many people around here for me to beat the living crap out of! That is why I, The only living Icon on the face of the earth am here to make an open challenge to any moron in that lockerroom back there! I don't care if he is big, I don't care if he is small, and I sure as hell don't care if he is stronger of faster than me, because the Canadian Icon will always come out on TOP! So with this in mind I leave you with only one thing to think about PW, Look Up, Look up, cause the Icon will put you DOWN!, and you can take that to the BANK!

[The sound of a loud whistling sound, followed by a explosion is heard, as the lights quickly dim. Icon throws down the mic and watches the entranceway.]

Rick - Icon may have his work cut out for him tonight, Dave!

Dave - Indeed he might, Rick! And that’s because he’ll be dealing with the Nuclear Nightmare himself!

[Bombinator emerges from the entranceway, his skin glistening in the eery glow coming from his wrestling tights. He looks angry.]

Dave - And there he is. Icon might just want to be careful of what he wishes for next time, because he’s about to get it! Bombinator rushing the ring and sliding in! Pat Rodgers is already in there, and it looks like we’re in for an impromptu match!!

[The bell rings.]

*** The Icon vs. Bombinator ***

Rick - Icon and Bombinator are going at it! Right by Icon- left by Bombinator- Right by Icon- a HARD left hand by Bombinator puts Icon on the ground. Bombinator picks up Icon up and whips him into the ropes- Icon bounces off- Bombinator swings with a right- but Icon ducks! Icon bounces off the opposite ropes- Bombinator turns around- standing dropkick by Icon- and Bombinator is down!

Dave - Icon is quick to get up- and he pulls Bombinator up with him. He gives Bombinator a quick punch to the face- and a STIFF kick to the mid section. He shoves his head between his legs- pulls his arm through- Pumphandle Slam! Bombinator is down, and hurt. Icon picks Bombinator back up- whops him into the ropes- Bombinator bounces off- a HUGE running clothesline by Bombinator to put the smaller man down!

Rick - And Bombinator is quick to pull Icon back onto his feet. Bombinator picks Icon off the mat- Powerslam! That has gotta hurt!

Dave - You're not kidding! Bombinator put all his weight into that one!

Rick - Bombinator picks Icon back off the mat and whips him into the corner. And he follows it up with a BIG splash! Bombinator goes up to the second rope- and he starts pounding away on Icon as the crowd counts along!

[Crowd: 1... 2... 3... 4... 5... 6... 7... 8... 9... 10!]

Dave - And Rodgers tells Bombinator to get off of Icon. Bombinator hops down- but gives Icon a low blow when the ref turned his back! That was a low blow!

Rick - Yeah, but it was smart thinking!

Dave - Bombinator picks Icon back up and whips him into the ropes- Icon bounces off- and ducks a clothesline by Bombinator! Icon bounces off the opposite ropes- and ducks a big boot! Icon stops his momentum- grabs the back of Bombinator's head- Neckbreaker! Nice move!

Rick - Not as nice as the low blow by Bombinator, though.

Dave - Both men are down now, but they're both slowly moving. They both turn to opposite ropes to help themselves up, but who's going to be able to get up first?! They're both up to their knees now, and Icon is able to pull himself up! Icon slowly makes his way over to Bombinator who is on one knee- and a standing dropkick! Icon just laid Bombinator out again! He goes for the pin! 1... 2... NO!!! Bombinator is somehow able to kick out! Rick - And now Icon is mad. He gets back to his feet- and he gives Bombinator a cheap kick to the head! He pulls him up now- and whips him into the ropes. Bombinator bounces off- Icon gets behind him- and he has him locked in a cobra clutch sleeper hold! This might be the set up for- Yes! The Iconizer! Bombinator is down! Icon goes for the pin! 1...2...3!!! Icon wins! Icon wins!

[The bell rings.]

Pattera - Your winner, by pinfall: Theeeeeee ICON!!!

[The shot cuts to ringside.]

Rick - Wow! This Icon guy really made short work of Bombinator, that's for sure. I'm not sure the big guy knew what hit him!

Dave - You're not kidding. The Bombinator's definitely not used to being handed a loss that quickly, that's for sure.

Rick - I'd say it's just a testament to how good of an up-and-comer that the Icon is, Dave. He comes out here, drops a challenge, and lives up to it in spades. If this guy puts the work in, I have a feeling he can really go places in this fed down the road.

Dave - And come Throttle, with a little bit of luck, he may just be getting a shot at the Extreme Championship sooner than you might think.

Rick - Well I for one wish the guy luck. He's young and he obviously has talent. But what we'll find out at Throttle is whether or not he's got that deep down hunger that the PW elite absolutely need when they're climbing their way to the top.

Dave - No doubt about it, Rick. Mind you, I’m not sure if he realized it or not, but after what Drunkaholic went through in his last match, the Icon really gave Drunkaholic a good breather by issuing the open challenge and taking Bombinator on.

Rick - I’ll bet that Drunk would have liked to have seen a little bit more show coming out of Bombinator though, Dave, because at less than 100%, this type of match could be rough...

Dave - And of course anyone who’s been paying ANY attention knows that we’ll be seeing the Trans World Champion taking on Lieutenant Jonathan Paine in a Last Man Standing rules match, Rick, although the TW belt is not on the line. NOT that Drunkaholic would be able to give it up! From what the man’s been saying, he’s actually MELTED DOWN the gold from the Trans World belt and SOLD it to pay off his legal bills. I tell you, this man is a despicable excuse for a PW champion, Rick, and a black eye on Planet Wrestling as an organization.

Rick - Dave, have you SEEN the TW Title lately?

Dave - NO! The Drunkaholic melted it down and now he wears that damn PW merchandise belt that’s no more real than a chicken with teeth! Why-

Rick - But we’ve not even SEEN the belt in a while. How do you know that what Drunk’s saying is true? How do you know he’s not just trying to get under some opponents’ skin? The man’s a wrestling prodigy and a helluva’ ring psychologist. Why do you think that the Gibbs’ haven’t taken action against this guy?

Dave [hesitant] - You make a lot of good points, Rick, but the fact remain that I doubt that ANYONE would be surprised if this man, who shows an ABSOLUTE lack of respect for ANYTHING, would go as far as to MELT DOWN something that wrestlers over the years have held SACRED: a Planet Wrestling CHAMPIONSHIP BELT!

Rick - I know what you’re saying, Dave, but complaining about it isn’t going to get the man into the ring any quicker. Just hope that Paine’s got what it takes to teach the man a lesson, I guess. And the sooner they get it on, the better his chances of that’ll be.

Dave - Let’s do it!

[The bell rings and the shot cuts back to the ring.]

Pattera - The following match is a non-title match, and will be conducted under LAST MAN STANDING RULES!!!

[The crowd cheers.]

[A loud whistling noise, followed by “War: What is it Good For” by Edwin Star plays throughout the arena... Lt. Jonathan Paine steps out of the entrance area, the crowd boos, a fan holds a "Lt. Paine will lose!!" sign in front of the camera]

Pattera - Introducing first, weighing in at 297 pounds, from Washington, D.C., Luuuiiiteeenaaant Jooonooothaaan Paaaiiineee!!!

[Paine doesn’t get a huge reaction, but what he does get is mostly boos. The boos increase in intensity, though, when Truth and Justice of “The American Way” make their way onto the stage to join Paine. The three of them make their way to the ring. Suddenly, "Stupid Canadians" by NOFX starts to play. A mixture of a boos and cheers fill the arena.]

Pattera - And his opponent, Ladies and Gentlemen, hailing from “Utopia”, he is the reigning Planet Wrestling Trans World Champion, Druuunkaaahoooliiic!!!

[Drunkaholic walks to the ring.]

[The Bell Rings and the match officially begins]

*** Lt. Jonathan Paine vs. Drunkaholic: non-title, last man standing rules ***

Rick - There goes the bell, and neither man is wasting a second! They’re in the middle of the ring and exchanging lefts and rights! OH! Paine with a knee to the breakbasket to knock the wind out of Drunk! Paine on the move! Off the ropes- Big kneelift brings Drunkaholic down!! Paine now- kneedrop on Drunk hits its mark! Paine now with an armbar- OH! Shot to the ribs by Drunk and the hold is broken.. Drunk pushing himself up...

Dave - Lt. Paine quick to his feet, keeping Drunkaholic in his sights. Pulling the champ up, HEADBUTTS him back to the mat!

Rick - Paine really showing the TW champ a thing or two in the early goings of the match, folks! He’s absolutely DOMINATING Drunkaholic!

Dave - You can’t count a veteran like Drunkaholic down yet, though, folks, he’s a dangerous, unpredictable man.

Rick - You got THAT right! OH! And talk about a good call! Paine was pulling Drunk up and the Drunkaholic shoved him into the ropes and snapped Paine down with a quick belly-to belly suplex to turn the tide! Drunkaholic back to his feet, and now with repeated boots to the knee of Lt. Jonathan Paine. Drunkaholic now putting Paine’s foot on the rope for extra leverage- DOWN with a big stomp on it!! Drunkaholic obviously trying to hurt Paine’s leg. Drunkaholic sliding to the outside, now- he has Paine by the ankle- Here comes Truth and Justice! Drunkaholic with a back bodydrop on Truth, but Justice is right there and nails Drunkaholic with a hard right!

Rick - He didn’t even have a CHANCE to defend himself, Dave! Truth now with Drunkaholic- OH!!! Rams him head first into the steel ringpost!! Rolled back in now by Justice...

Dave - And Paine’s right there to meet him, too: Paine stomping all over Drunkaholic’s body. Paine now all OVER Drunkaholic with a series of closed fists! Ken Butler trying to deter Paine, but what use is it, really? This is a last man standing match, and a closed fist is just as legal as anything in this situation. I wonder if Drunkaholic will regret calling for the stipulation before the night’s over?

Rick - If he’s not lucky, he might before Throttle’s over, anyway. This is his second match tonight, and he’s booked for at least one come Throttle, and I have an itching suspicion that he might be putting his name into the battle royal, too.

Dave - I know what you’re saying: he may well find himself less than 100% for his matches at Throttle, and then, moving on in the Tag Team Tournament would have been all for naught.

Rick - Exactly.

Dave - Paine now getting off Drunkaholic and pulling the man off the canvas- whips him to the turnbuckles- Drunkaholic hitting hard! Paine charging- Drunkaholic diving out of the way and Lt. Jonathan Pain missing the spear and hitting the ringpost HARD with his shoulder! Drunkaholic quick to get his bearings- hoisting Paine off the mat from behind- DOWN with the German suplex!! Truth on the apron after that, but Butler doing his best to block the man’s path!

Rick - I know this is a non-title affair, but you’d think that they’d have had Kent or Dickson reffing a match like this, wouldn’t ya’?

Dave - Well, there HAVE been rumors about the referees being worried about their safety... maybe they wanted to keep our hear referees out of this, as not to risk injury...

Rick - [sarcastically] Yeah, and I’ll just BET that ol’ Kenny is relishing the job right now...

Dave - Whatever the case, Truth is off the apron and down to the floor to rejoin his tag team partner, but Drunkaholic, in the meantime just put Lt. Paine across his knee with a backbreaker. Pulling Paine up- sends him to the ropes- Sleeperhold by Drunkaholic! Looks like Lt. Jonathan Paine is off to dreamland, folks! This could end the match right here if Drunkaholic can sink it on- NO! Jonathan Paine with a back elbow to break the hold! OH!!! But it’s Drunkaholic retaliating with a palm to the face that brings Paine to his knees!

Rick - And Drunkaholic unceremoniously booting pain in the head to put the man on his back! OH! Brutal! Drunkaholic just hit a big stomp right on Paine’s stomach! I’m surprised he didn’t lose his lunch! My GOD! And it just doesn’t stop: Drunk now just GRINDING the sole of his boot right into the eye socket of Paine! I don’t know if just still fired up from his confrontation with Michaels and Peterson earlier or what, but Drunkaholic showing absolutely NO RESPECT for his opponent here!

Dave - You’re not kidding! Ken Butler has seen enough and he’s asking Drunkaholic to lay off, but Drunkaholic LITERALLY just rubbing it in to throw the lack of rules in this match right into Butler’s face, and he’s sneering while doing it!

Rick - And that did it for Truth and Justice, Dave! They’re crashing the ring, and there just not enough of Ken Butler to stop them!

Dave - Drunkaholic escaping to the outside in a hurry! It’s a warzone in there, and apparently three-on-one odds are something he’s happy to avoid. And with what we’ve already seen from Paine, and what we know of the American Way, I can’t say I much blame him. Drunkaholic at ringside and coming this way though, now- he’s just yanked the timekeeper from his chair and taken his chair! Drunkaholic folding the steel chair up now- and just threw it into the ring at Truth!

Rick - Yow! And he just missed too! Truth just barely ducked that flying chair!

Dave - You’re not kidding! That was a close call if I’ve ever seen one... But Drunkaholic isn’t stopping there, Rick! He’s got the ringsteps now, and by God, I think he’s going to try again- NO! This time it’s Justice that was almost hit! Drunkaholic now just tossing the other part of the steps in there!

Rick - He’s stocking the ring with some equalizers, Dave.

Dave - But cold steel can be a double-edged sword, Rick: Paine’s back on his feet, and if he can use any of those objects on Drunkaholic, having put them in there will have backfired with dramatic results. Paine could end up with a victory of the Trans World Champ in his debut Planet Wrestling match!

Rick - How would THAT be for a lead-in to No Vacancy?

Dave - It would be a major upset, no pun intended, that’s for sure! Referee Ken Butler trying to hold Truth and Justice back and get them out of the other side of the ring, and he has to be on the verge of ejecting them from ringside altogether, Rick.

Rick - Yeah, but what good will it do? I’m not entirely positive, but I don’t THINK that he can call a DQ on this because of them, can he?

Dave - I’m not entirely sure of that either, Rick, but whether it’s part of the rules or not, he might just do it...

Rick - Yeah, if he ever grows a set...

Dave - Rick!

Rick - What?

Dave - Never mind. Drunkaholic looking for a safe way into the ring, folks, but Paine holding his ground and eyeing him like a hungry watchdog... Holy! What the heck?! My GOD!!! It’s Zack Logan!!! Zack Logan just shot out from under the ring apron and SPEARED Drunkaholic into the steel rail and busted through it in the process!

Rick - My GOD! Zack must have been under there all night LONG or something, just WAITING for Drunk to cross his path!

Dave - And cross his path he did, Rick, and he took Drunkaholic THROUGH the steel rail with the force of a runaway freight train!! The bolts just snapped and the section broke loose! Zack Logan with Drunkaholic now and just PUMMELING the man with those sledgehammer-like fists of his! There’s no WAY Drunkaholic could have seen this coming, folks!

Rick - And to think Rudy was under that same ring and could have been subjected to the same thing, Dave. Now THAT could have been a big turning point!

Dave - You’re not kidding! But Zack Logan still laying the battered Drunkaholic to waste in the second row! Spectators are scurrying away to avoid another Zack Logan rampage, but Drunkaholic is the man’s focus through and through! And look what he has around his waist, Rick: that’s the E-WCW Trans-World Championship belt!

Rick - Yeah, and he’s taking it off, too- WHIPS the gold down across Drunkaholic’s back! The champs barely moving, but you can bet he’s feeling these shots!

Dave - If he has any feeling LEFT, that is! I don’t know about you, but I’ve NEVER seen anyone put through the steel rails, Rick: one has to consider the possibility that Drunkaholic’s BACK may be broken!

Rick - And look at Lieutenant Paine, Dave: he’s looking awfully smug right now while his dirty work’s being done for him. And at this rate, he may well have this match in the bag! Zack Logan’s noticed the converging security team, and is now dragging Drunkaholic back toward the ring and over that dislodged steel rail- pulling him up and rolling the man’s body into the ring! This one might be over just like that, Dave.

Dave - You’re not kidding! And Paine knows it, too: he’s waved The American Way back to their post at ringside, and he’s standing back while referee Ken Butler makes the count: 1... 2...

Rick - And Zack heading away from the ring through the crowd, Dave, but security getting ahold of him without a problem: the fans were staying out of his way after some found out about the man’s loose fuse the hard way on LAST Shockwave...

Dave - And we’ve just reached the halfway mark of the count that COULD put Paine up one for his first PW match, and against the Trans World CHAMPION at that!

Rick - Yeah, despite the fact that he’ll win it under questionable circumstances. There’s no doubt that Zack’s sending out a message to Drunk, though, and there’s no doubt that Zed was watching that attack, too, Dave, and I have a feeling he was meant to take notice of that beating, too...

Dave - You may be right, Rick- wait just a MINUTE!! Drunkaholic just pushed himself up to his hands and knees! He’s coughing up blood, but that motion was enough to stop the count! OH!! And Paine not happy about this turn of events in the LEAST and showing it with a boot to the ribs on Drunkaholic to flip the champ onto his back!

Rick - Paine should have finished him off while he had the chance.

Dave - Finished him off?! Good GOD, man! He was put through solid STEEL!! How could Paine have known that Drunkaholic wasn’t finished?!

Rick - All I can say is that he’s the champ, Dave, and he got there for a reason. Paine should have known that...

Dave - Well, he’s laying into him now, THAT’S for sure. He’s picking up the pieces and continuing right where the “Blue Thunder” left off and mopping the floor with what’s left of Drunkaholic. Paine now with Drunkaholic and tugging him off the canvas- picks the man up in a gorilla press to demonstrate his strength and the fact that he has this one in the bag, folks... DROPS Drunkaholic to the canvas. Paine now down on hands and knees and yelling at Drunkaholic as if he was nothing but a new recruit at boot camp. Up again, and now with a blistering series of stomps on the Drunkaholic. And if you’re just joining us ladies and gentlemen, Paine has the decided advantage after Drunkaholic was assaulted by Zack Logan, and I dare say that we may well have an upset in the making here.

Rick - Yeah Dave, but really, what business did Zack Logan have getting involved with this match in the FIRST place? And after the American Way have been involved, not to MENTION the fact that this is Drunk’s second match of the night! I think it’s pretty fair to say that the odds have been stacked unfairly in the man’s favor.

Dave - That may be the case, but it was his own choice, Rick, at least in part: HE was the one who decided the stipulations for this match after all. Drunkaholic must be regretting it now, though, as he's being hauled up off the canvas by Paine. Scooping him up and into a torture rack backbreaker!! Drunkaholic's back must feel as if it's on FIRE, Rick!

Rick - You're right, Dave: Paine's showing some old school smarts here by doing further damage to Drunkaholic's already hurting back, and he's settling for nothing less than snapping his spine in two.

Dave - Drunkaholic screaming in anguish, but I remind everyone that this is a Last Man Standing match, so even a submission means nothing right now. If Paine wants to finish this match once and for all, he has to let the Drunkaholic out of that hold and let the referee do the 10-count.

Rick - But Paine is having too much fun hurting Drunk, Dave. And though the fans aren't exactly giving him much of a reaction, you can tell that he's enjoying his time in the spotlight now.

Dave - Indeed he is: he must be wondering what it would have been like to have had this match with the Trans World Title on the line, don't you think? Imagine the accolades he'd be receiving if he won a Planet Wrestling championship title THIS EARLY in his career... Paine now- LEVERS Drunkaholic down to the canvas with authority. Pulling Drunkaholic back up- and throws him through the ropes to the floor.

Rick - And he's not wasting any time in distracting the referee, either, while Truth and Justice goon up Drunk at ringside. Justice is holding Drunk, and Truth is turning the TW Champ into a human punching bag! This is disgraceful and disgusting!

Dave - And let me tell you, though they may not be the world's biggest Drunkaholic fans, Rick, that many of these fans at ringside don't really know WHAT to think of this recent change in attitude of the American Way.

Rick - Yeah Dave, it would definitely seem that their stock with the fans has dropped down ever since they got together with the Lieutenant, Dave, which I can't understand at all: It was probably the best move of their PW careers.

Dave - I don’t think you'll get a lot of agreement there, Rick... But Paine's going to the outside now while The American Way step back... Paine with Drunkaholic- scoops him up and RAMS his back into the ringpost!! The Trans World Champion being absolutely torn apart here ladies and gentlemen, and by a PW ROOKIE at that!

Rick - Well, there's no doubt that if Paine plays his cards right that he could have a promising future in this sport, Dave, but again, I remind you of the help he's had tonight to get to this point...

Dave - Nevertheless, we're seeing Paine in complete control right now, and the referee starting the 10-count on Drunkaholic at ringside. Drunkaholic is in trouble, and again, I have to wonder what might have happened had this been scheduled as a title match.

Rick - Well, with a title around his waist, Drunkaholic is a marked man, Dave, and he's finding that out the hard way, I guess.

Dave - And it looks like his lesson's about to get a whole lot harder! Paine's started to pull up the protective mats at ringside, and you KNOW that he's not just doing it to redecorate the place! Paine exposing the cold, hard concrete floor and now setting Drunkaholic up...

[Loud cheers from the crowd.]

Rick - What the?!-

Dave - LOOK OUT! James Morgan racing down the ramp with a steel chair- MOWS Truth down! Justice charging- WHAM!! And down HE does! The fans are on their feet and cheering for Morgan's chair shots, Rick, but Lt. Paine thinks they're cheering for him! He has Drunkaholic in a standing headscissor, but he's playing to the fans with his arms raised high- Morgan from behind- OH!!! What a CHAIRSHOT!! Paine whacked HARD with that chair: he didn't see that one coming at ALL and he's crumbled to the floor in a heap.

Rick - And all of a sudden, it's a whole new ballgame, Dave: if Drunkaholic can find a way to pull himself together, he might just have a shot at winning this.

Dave - But while James Morgan slips through the crowd to make his getaway from security, one HAS to wonder what his intentions were? Has the man formed some sort of alliance with Drunkaholic? Or does he have some sort of axe to grind with Lt. Paine and The American Way?

Rick - I haven't a clue, Dave, I can tell you that. We'll just have to wait to hear from Morgan himself, I guess.

Dave - Indeed, but in the meantime, we MIGHT WELL be looking at a no contest, double count ruling here, because both men are still down and the referee has just reached a four count.

Rick - Yeah - And neither member of The American Way has moved a muscle yet either, Dave. Morgan really nailed those running chairshots.

Dave - Indeed he did. But once again, one has to wonder why Drunkaholic didn't have Lint or any of his usual suspects in his corner with him... or for THAT matter, even Rudy Rudos himself to accompany him to ringside in a bout like this.

Rick - [sarcastic] Well, MAYBE the man just figured that he could handle the situation by himself, Dave. Ever think of that? And if everybody and their pet dog hadn't wanted to get their shots on him during this match, he'd have made short work of Paine, too, I'll bet.

Dave - Obviously though, Drunkaholic wasn't that fortunate... and at the double seven count, it's looking as though he'll be shooting for the tie against Paine.

Rick - But how could he possibly have known that Zack would have been hiding under the ring all night long... even AFTER Rudy'd been under there earlier?!

Dave - Hold the PHONE! Drunkaholic just pushed himself up to his hands and knees! And NOW he's pulling himself up with the help of the ring apron! Drunkaholic is on his feet- OH!! And he just delivered a swift kick to the ribs of Paine once he got there!

Rick - Heck heh. Now THAT's the champ for ya'!

Dave - That may be, Rick, but that brutal kick to Paine's ribs stopped the ref's count on the man, which was ALMOST on the verge of winning Drunkaholic the match! I'm not sure if he knew that or not, but it may have been a huge mistake on his part...

Rick - I don't know if he knew that or not either, Dave, but he doesn't seem to much care. Drunk's on Paine now, and he's going to a two-handed choke. He like an angry bear who was just woken up from his winter nap, Dave, and the drunken punk looks PISSED! Not that I blame him, of course: if *I* were a PW champ and *I* was being beaten by a rookie, I'd be pretty steamed too!

Dave - You're not kidding! Drunkaholic now up to his feet and pulling Paine up to join him, but you can tell that he's still favoring his back. I wonder what effects that injury might have on his performance at Throttle, and for that matter, at No Vacancy? But Drunkaholic now- DRILLS Paine into the steel ringsteps!!

Rick - The Drunkaholic is on the warpath, Dave, and he's out to make Paine PAY for making him look bad! Drunkaholic- RAMS Paine's face into the steps! And again! Paine's forehead busted open- OH!! Paine just BLASTED to the floor from a Drunkaholic shortarm clothesline. Paine's down, Dave, and he's not looking so good!

Dave - No he's not: he's split open over his eyes, and you know that the blood seeping into them won't do his vision any favors.

Rick - No it won't, Dave, but Drunkaholic's like a shark who smells the blood and is moving in for the kill- he's pulled Paine up and he's setting him up by that exposed concrete! OH!!! DDT on the floor by Drunkaholic! And that only open Paine up WORSE!!

Dave - The blood is just STREAMING down into Paine's face, Rick, as that DDT just opened up a new cut on the man's scalp... but what the heck is Drunk doing?

Rick - Looking under the ring for more ambushers, maybe?

Dave - My GOD no! He's pulling out a table!! Drunkaholic setting the table up here at ringside with Paine struggling to get to his feet- OH! Shot to the ribs by Drunkaholic! European uppercut! But it's Paine firing back! Drunkaholic rocked- blocks the second punch- OH!! And a VICIOUS palm to the nose by Drunkaholic!

Rick - And now Paine's NOSE is bleeding too, Dave! Drunkaholic's not wasting any time whatsoever in turning the Lieutenant into a bloody mess! And NOW he's setting the man up on that table... Drunkaholic going under the ring apron again- he has a steel chair! CLUBS it across Paine's chest! Drunkaholic now with that chair again- and he's laying it across Paine's FACE! It may well be Joykiller time for Paine, Dave!

Dave - That's insane! But Drunkaholic heading back into the ring while the referee starts the count on Paine... but I have a terrible sinking feeling that the Trans World Champion isn't done yet... Drunkaholic can't POSSIBLY be thinking about doing this- but he is! The man is climbing the turnbuckles and he HAS to be insane!! He'll KILL the man! Drunkaholic- OH DEAR GOD!!! He did it!! Drunkaholic with absolutely NO REMORSE or regard for human life just jumped onto that steel chair and drove the man through the table to the floor for the Joykiller!! This one is over! Get the paramedics out here, fast!

Rick - And that could have been worse, too, Dave: Drunkaholic landed slightly short on his jump, luckily for Paine, and the brunt of the impact was taken on his chest, instead of his face. More like Jansen's Heartstopper, really. I wonder though if he missed it on purpose, to try to send a message to Jansen for their possible encounter later in the tag team tournament, or if he missed it because of his sore back?

Dave - Well, either way, I'm betting that Paine isn't exactly feeling lucky right now, Rick. He's going to need to be looked at to check for broken bones without a doubt, and I'd be surprised if he ended up without any sort of fracture.

Rick - I guess that's what happens when a rookie messes with a champ before the rookie's ready, Dave. We see so MANY people coming into Planet Wrestling all the time that are looking to challenge the top people in this company. Usually they have to wait for their chances, and this is another example of why that is. Dave - Maybe so, Rick, but no one, not EVEN a rookie deserves this kind of treatment. Drunkaholic has this thing WON for goodness sake, and he seems bent on turning insult into multiple injuries here, as he stands Paine's body up against the safety rail and climbs to the ring apron... What's he going to d- OH!! Exploding Keggar ONTO the steel rail!! This is INSANE! Somebody just ring the damn bell and end this! Drunkaholic has to be stopped!

Rick - Well, don't look now, Dave, here comes The American Way over the rail and into the crowd to get Drunkaholic- but they're flattened by Drunk for their trouble with a double clothesline! Truth up on his feet again- punched back down by Drunk! And now Justice- back bodydropped back to ringside over the rail. Things are going crazy in those ringside seats, and these fans are LOVING it! Truth up once again and with a big right- blocked by Drunk and now Truth sent SMASHING into the steel rail courtesy of the TW Champ! Drunkaholic with Truth by the head- BASHES his face into the safety rail! The American Way trying desperately to put the hurt on Drunkaholic, but while they do, their new leader, the Lieutenant has been lying motionless... We're at the nine count and this looks like it could be it... 10!!!

[The bell rings.]

Pattera - Ladies and gentlemen, your winner, the Planet Wrestling Trans World Champion... DrunkaHOLIC!!!

Rick - What a match, Dave, what a match. Security coming out now to calm this ringside situation down and separate Drunk from The American Way, but what a match. Paine got lucky and looked like he was going to come up with the upper hand, but Drunkaholic was able to do an "about-face" and gain enough momentum to show us what a "Last Man Standing" match is all about.

Dave - But a lot of the credit for his victory in this match has to do with James Morgan, Rick, don't forget that. And what Morgan's motives for getting involved were can only be speculated. Who KNOWS why he decided to lend a hand to the Drunkaholic.

Rick - I don't know Dave, but I can almost guarantee that Drunkaholic won't soon be forgetting the truck that ambushed him from under the ring that almost cost him the match. I have a feeling that Drunk will have Zack in his sights next time, and I'll give you a word of advice, Zack: watch your back, big man.

Dave - And sound advice that would be, too, with a dangerous, unpredictable man like Drunkaholic. But while the debris is cleared and the dust settles here at the Planet Dome, we have whet’s sure to be another incredible match taking place OUTSIDE the Planet Dome. In just a moment we're going to take you live to the skating arena, where PW's own Tommy Glide is standing by... But I have to ask you, Rick... In all the years we've been calling matches in Planet Wrestling, have we ever seen anything quite like what we're about to see next?

Rick - Dave, you and I have watched matches with some of the most bizarre stipulations you can think of... Electrified cage matches; tables-ladders-chairs inferno matches; heck, remember the Dome Match from 1999?

Dave - Who could forget?

Rick - Well, as strange as all of those matches were, at the very least they bore some resemblance to a wrestling match. And then there was the Pole Match at the last Pay-Per-View event, where there wasn't even a ring involved... But it did take place here in the Planet Dome. But this next match... well, not only is there no wrestling ring, it's not even happening in the Dome- it's requiring an entire second arena! I'm having a hard time thinking of any match in this company's history to compare it to. I guess this is all by way of saying that we're all in for a truly unique experience very shortly when we bring you Planet Wrestling's first-ever "Stars on Ice" Match!

Dave - There you are. Okay, folks, I'm getting word that Tommy Glide is ready- Tommy, are you there?

[The shot cuts away from ringside, switching to a medium shot of Tommy Glide in a crisp, expensive-looking black suit, standing behind the boards at the entranceway to the ice rink. In one hand he holds a microphone and a set of note cards; his other hand reaches up to adjust his headset.]

Tommy - I'm here, Dave, and I can tell you that the capacity crowd here has been on pins and needles in anticipation of tonight's "Stars on Ice" Match! If you look behind me, you can see that this skating arena is filled to the rafters with our great PW fans-

[A wild cheer echoes through the air. Indeed, the stands are packed with jubilant fans, waving hands and banners over their heads; there are signs everywhere. Tommy Glide grins and raises his voice to be heard over the din.]

Tommy - ...Which could very possibly make this the first time Planet Wrestling has ever sold out two arenas for a single event. And, of course, behind me you can see the frozen battlefield, where this match will take place.

[He turns and sweeps his hand toward the glass. Beyond it lies the wide, white expanse of the ice rink. The surface seems to gleam. Luminescent cable has been laid down in a circuit along the bottom of the boards, tracing a faint yellow outline of the rink. Tommy Glide shakes his head, as if the whole situation is almost too outrageous to fathom.]

Tommy - Dave, Rick, we're all psyched over here!

Dave - It's no different over here, I can tell you! Each and every fan in the Dome has turned to the PlanetTron and is watching with baited breath.

Rick - Tommy, have you learned anything about Valentine's condition? We all saw the brutal attack by Xander earlier tonight, and at the time it looked like her knee might have been in bad shape.

Tommy - Sorry, Rick, I wasn't able to get access to her, or to any of the other participants for that matter. Everybody's been keeping behind locked doors up to now, so I guess we'll all find out once the match starts.

Dave - Okay, Tommy, why don't you run down the rules as we prepare for the two teams to make their entrance?

Tommy - No problem, Dave. [He glances down quickly to check his notes.] Basically, the object of this match is to put both your opponents into the penalty box at the same time. There's glass surrounding this entire rink to protect the audience, but the glass has been removed at the box, so it's possible to throw or knock an opponent over the boards. Of course, this also makes it easier for a competitor to climb out. There's one catch though: to win, both members of the opposite team, and NO members of your own team, have to be in the penalty box. In other words, if you're in there with both of your opponents, you have to leave the box before you can win the match. And, of course, because of the potential for danger and severe injury, the skate blades can NOT be used as weapons, intentionally OR accidentally. I would also like to add that we have a full EMT team standing by, just in case.

Dave - Thanks, Tommy. It sounds like all the precautions have been taken.

Tommy - Indeed they have, Dave, and-

[He stops and glances to the side as Danny Dickson walks up to the rink entranceway. The referee is wearing a long-sleeved striped shirt, black pants and skates; a whistle on a string hangs around his neck. A couple of men in bright yellow "Arena Staff" shirts swing two sections of board apart like double-doors to let him through. The crowd, spotting the referee entering the rink, rises in excitement. Tommy Glide turns back to the camera.]

Tommy - It looks like we're ready to start, guys, so let's take it away!

Dave - Okay, go to it!

[Tommy Glide nods as the view fades to a wide shot of the rink, where the referee is taking up position near center ice. Dickson faces toward the open entranceway as Tommy Glide's voice booms through the arena...]

Tommy - Ladies and gentlemen... Welcome to the PW "Stars on Ice" Match!!

[The fans give an enthusiastic howl.]

Tommy - Introducing first, the challengers...

[Suddenly the skating arena lights go out. Only the luminous cable inside the rink is visible, appearing as a glowing, rounded rectangle of light. The air begins to fill with bewildered chattering as spectators wonder aloud if something has gone wrong... And then the opening beats to "Captive Heart" pound over the speakers. A single spotlight clicks on, cutting through the darkness to illuminate a circle of ice in the middle of the rink. There, under the light, are Ken Jansen and Valentine. Jansen is in a shiny black dress shirt with a cityscape design sewn in gold thread, black pants and belt with a gold buckle, and gold skates. He is kneeling with one arm outstretched, his other arm supporting Valentine as she leans across his knee. She is clad in a glittering, cherry-red silk outfit with sheer sleeves and a pleated skirt that is short in front but trails past the knees in back, the end drifting slightly on the ice; white skates; and blonde hair that is pinned back. Only the innocuous black pads on their elbows and knees break the illusion that Jansen and Valentine are merely figure skaters.]

Tommy - Currently in the rink, at a combined weight of 398 pounds... KEN JANSEN and VALENTINE!

[They get a distinctly negative response, but Jansen and Valentine seem to ignore it. They hold their pose for a moment, then Jansen pulls Valentine upright, and they begin to glide in an arc, the spotlight following them. Jansen puts his hands on her hips and boosts her into the air, where Valentine does a double spin before coming down again, Jansen catching her and easing her back onto the ice. They split apart, the spotlight splitting into two to keep them both lit, and Val initiates a layback spin: pivoting on one foot, her free leg bent and her knee pointed outward, her back arched, with her face to the rafters. Meanwhile, Jansen does a backward glide in a circle around her, then kicks his toe against the ice and leaps, does two rotations, and lands gliding backwards once again to complete a double toe loop. They come together again near the center of the rink, the referee just visible outside the spotlights, and skid to a stop, arms in the air, flashing big grins as their music fades out. The fans' reaction is mixed: some appreciative applause, some catcalls, but much more jeering.]

Dave - A bit of a short program by Jansen and Valentine to kick off this match...

Rick - Yeah- and look at the costumes!!

Dave - Er, right. I guess we can tell two things from this, Rick. One, Valentine's knee must be well enough to compete, despite the shot from the monkey wrench she took earlier tonight. And two, they're obviously here to show off more than anything. Rick? Hey, snap out of it!

Rick - Huh?... Well, come on, now... They've already announced that they would be coming into this match with a figure skating style, so this is just their way of sticking to their theme- doing justice to the great Canadian pastime, as it were!

Dave - Are you telling me that thirty second demonstration was necessary? Jansen and Valentine have already been in action once tonight; I would think they'd rather save their energy for when this match actually gets started. And what about those flashy outfits? Those aren't exactly practical clothes for a physical contest.

Rick - Hey, I've got no problem with the outfits, Dave... No problem whatsoever...

Dave - [Sighs] Why am I not surprised?

[The arena lights raise to a dim level. Tommy Glide's amplified voice speaks again.]

Tommy - And their opponents...

["The Fight Song" by Marilyn Manson pumps through the air. A new spotlight flashes to life, casting a cone of brilliance at the rink entranceway. Xander and Anya step out onto the ice, to a stronger cheer from the audience, but laced with some booing. Xander is dressed in his wrestling gear: black tights with blue streaks, protective pads, and a "Xander" T-shirt, plus a pair of skates. Anya is wearing a sparkling silver figure skating outfit complete with a short, loose skirt, and white skates; she also has on a set of elbow- and kneepads.]

Tommy - Now entering the arena, at a combined weight of 360 pounds... XANDER and ANYA!

[The crowd howls and whistles in approval. The spotlight keeps a bead on them as they skate toward the referee.]

Rick - AH! Look, Dave!!

Dave - Will you settle down?! You're embarrassing yourself! Whew... Folks, my broadcast colleague's pulse is racing at about 200 beats per minute right now- but indeed, as we can all see, Anya seems to have come dressed for the occasion as well! She only found out she was involved in this match a short while ago, but I suppose she's willing to play along with the theme... Meanwhile, Xander is the only one out there who actually looks like he's ready for a fight.

Rick - Oh boy... This is gonna be great!

Dave - Ignore Mr. Richards, ladies and gentlemen, please... I know I’ll try to...

Rick - Hey!

[Xander and Anya's music fades to silence as they arrive at center ice. The lights come on to full brightness. Danny Dickson begins to give both teams some last minute instructions.]

Dave - Anyway, all four participants are being read the rules one last time by the referee... I'm not sure whether any of them are actually listening, though, as Jansen and Valentine are standing there with big smirks on their faces... And Xander is looking his opponents up and down- and he starts laughing at them! It's obvious what he thinks of Jansen and Valentine's choice of attire tonight...

Rick - Yeah, but the sour look on Anya's face says SHE sure doesn't appreciate his mocking, considering that she's come in full figure skating regalia too! Dave - Well, it's no secret that Anya and Xander haven't really been on the same page lately, but I'd rather believe that he didn't mean for Anya to take offense just now.

Rick - Or, more likely, he just didn't think about it...

Dave - Whatever it is, they're going to have to communicate better if they're going to be successful in this "Stars on Ice" Match. Cooperation will be the name of the game here.

Rick - Especially when their opponents, Jansen and Valentine, already have that going for them, not to mention a higher degree of skill on skates. Like I said, this is going to be very interesting!

Dave - Okay, Dickson is asking both teams if they understand the rules, and they're all confirming that they do... Dickson pulls back and puts his whistle to his lips-

[Fweeeet!]

*** PW "Stars on Ice" Match - Ken Jansen & Valentine vs. Xander & Anya ***

Dave - And we're off! And right off the bat, any thoughts Xander and Anya might have had about rushing Jansen and Valentine are being banished, as the Canadian couple are already on the move, making slow circles around the middle of the rink. Xander and Anya also starting to glide a bit, to keep their opponents in front of them... Rick, what do you think we can expect to see in terms of strategy here?

Rick - Well, we can definitely expect a lot of hit-and-run tactics by Ken Jansen and Valentine. If you've ever seen figure skating, you know that it's a very dynamic sport; the skaters are always in motion, and speed is so important. So for Ken and Val's figure skating style to be most effective, they'll want to be constantly moving, making quick strikes and then getting out fast to set up their next move. On the other hand, since Xander and Anya don't have quite the same mobility, they'll probably use a more wrestling-oriented approach against the Canadians, so they'll likely try to get in close as much as they can. In other words, their best shot is with a short-range strategy- if they can GET within range, that is! But if they can, they'll be able to neutralize Jansen and Valentine's long range attacks.

Dave - You're right, that could make the difference here. And considering how little there is out there for high-flyers like Anya to jump off of, grappling and striking moves will probably HAVE be the order of the day. But for any of that to apply, one of these teams is going to have to stop circling and make the first move. Both sides might still be searching for the best way to engage the enemy right now... Hold it- Jansen and Val halting abruptly- a push with the skates and they're charging directly at Xander and Anya. Closing the distance... Xander and Anya make a quick sideways move, and the Canadians glide past with no contact. Jansen and Val coming back again- Xander giving Anya a signal here, and they stand their ground. They're cocking their fists for a possible strike as the other team closes in- but Ken and Valentine swerve away in opposite directions barely a couple of feet in front of them. Again, no contact is made. And Ken and Val start skating a circuit around the rink, waving at the crowd! [The fans boo them loudly.]

Rick - Hah! The crowd's not too impressed! Nobody's done anything yet, so what are Jansen and Valentine celebrating about?

Dave - I'm not sure if it's a feeling-out process, or just playing around, but these two teams can't keep avoiding each other: I have a pretty good feeling that neither team is simply going to skate right into the penalty box on their own accord... Xander and Anya are watching with not a little disdain as their opponents glide around... They're probably wanting to rush out and try to catch them, but as you say, I'm not so sure they could.

Rick - Right, but then again, Jansen and Valentine can't win the match by showboating; they're also going to have to go on the offensive at some point.

Dave - Well, it looks like they might be ready to get started in earnest, as they're on their way back to the middle of the rink, where Xander and Anya are waiting... Jansen and Valentine stopping a couple dozen feet away. We're back to square one, with both teams standing off- No, both teams pushing off toward each other now, building up speed. They're on a collision course- looks like a game of chicken on skates! Xander and Anya are adjusting their own approach with Ken and Val's every movement, as they don't want to let them slip away a third time... Coming in close, and Xander and Anya going for stereo clotheslines- HO! Jansen and Val both dropping low and sticking a leg out simultaneously, catching Xander and Anya on the shins and tripping them both down on their faces!

Rick - A kind of modified "shoot-the-duck" glide by both Canadians, effectively knocking the legs out from under their opponents!

Dave - Val and Ken are arcing around for another pass as Anya and Xander scramble to get back on their feet- they turn to try to locate the Canadians, but they're already in close- Ken and Val both jump into the air in almost horizontal spread-eagle positions- hooking 180 degrees around Xander and Anya, grabbing them by the hair as they spin past- OH! And they just YANK them both down on the backs of their heads! Jansen and Valentine both land on one skate, gliding backwards as Xander and Anya clutch their skulls on the ice!

Rick - Folks, you just saw the Jansens both use a jumping spin move called a "flying camel", adapted in this match to deliver a double head-slam to Anya and Xander!

Dave - And the sympathetic groans you just heard from the stands mean that these fans are starting to see what this so-called figure skating style is all about... All I can say is, ouch!

[Out of their backward glide, Jansen and Valentine kick off the ice and perform simultaneous double toe loops, landing backwards again, then sweeping their free skates around them to come to a graceful stop.]

Rick - And true to form, they follow up by showboating again- [A murmur from the stands suddenly raises in volume; they're chanting "Jansen sucks! Jansen sucks!"]

Dave - Well, this crowd is making their feelings known!

Rick - [Chuckles] Ken Jansen is frowning at the audience as if he can't understand why they're reacting this way. Even Valentine is looking a bit irritated at this crowd... Obviously, they think the fans should reward them for showing off, and that's just not going to happen.

Dave - However, they're allowing themselves to be distracted, and they're not seeing Xander and Anya back on their skates behind them- and BOY do they look angry! Xander and Anya skating at full speed toward Jansen and Valentine- could be payback time! Xander's about ten feet away and closing- Anya a little behind him- Hold it, Jansen glancing over his shoulder and seeing them coming, and he grasps Valentine's wrist- starts spinning her in a circle around him- and Valentine drops almost horizontal, legs straight, the edge of one skate on the ice- WHOA! Uses her legs to just SWEEP Xander off his vertical base! Xander goes down, again!

Rick - That had to be the fastest I've ever seen any pair execute what's known as a "death spiral"- where one skater acts as a pivot and swings his partner around him like a rotor- but more pertinently, that's the first time anybody's ever used the move offensively! Xander didn't even see it coming!

Dave - Anya was lucky- she was just out of range, but she's not looking too eager to try getting closer now... But Jansen swinging Val around one more time- HO! Lets go of her wrist, and she slides on her hip right toward Anya! Anya not sure what to do here- she picks up one foot as Valentine slips under her- but Val catches her other ankle, tripping her down!

Rick - You know, the moves so far haven't had much body-on-body impact, but Jansen and Valentine are letting the ice do a lot of the work for them- merely being knocked down is painful enough, and that ice is just like concrete when your chin is bouncing off it.

Dave - You're not kidding there, Rick. Anya's having trouble getting up again; the wind might have been knocked out of her. But Valentine is quickly getting vertical again, and she's got Anya's legs locked under the armpits in a wheelbarrow position, with Anya face-down... Val now digging her skates in to start rotating- it's like a giant swing! Anya's doing what she can to push her front side up off the ice with her hands, but there's no handhold down there- and her face is skidding on that frozen surface! That's GOT to burn the skin, Rick!

Rick - That mischievous grin on Valentine's face says she knows JUST what she's doing out there!

Dave - Meanwhile, Jansen has moved over to Xander and is starting to haul him upright... Xander lashing out at him, catching him in the midsection- Xander fully up now, and he swings a lariat- No, the arm is caught by Jansen, and he uses Xander's momentum to start spinning HIM around! Xander is trying to wrench his wrist out of Jansen's grip, but Jansen is really digging those skates in to increase his rotational speed- and believe it or not, Xander's skates are starting to drift outward! He's slipping horizontally!

Rick - This is a pairs move, we just saw him do this with Valentine- but this time, Jansen's putting his OPPONENT into a death spiral!

Dave - Xander's scrabbling with both skates to get some kind of foothold, but to no avail! Ken's got him, but what's he going to DO with him?

Rick - Jansen lets go! And Xander slides like a turtle on its back- RIGHT into the boards! You can see the glass wobbling from that impact!

Dave - Whew! That had to feel like falling off the Tilt-A-Whirl ride at the carnival for Xander! But Jansen isn't resting yet- he makes a quick arc away, and now glides back toward him- switches footing into a backward glide, as Xander attempts to regain his footing- Jansen jumps and- OOHH! RIGHT to Xander's head!

Rick - Figure skaters call it a "stag leap"- but it looked like a spinning high kneesmash to me, Dave! And Jansen got a two-for-one out of that, because Xander's head snapped back and bounced off the glass as well! Xander's collapsed in a heap by the boards, and he is not looking too good right now!

Dave - I'll say! And speaking of not looking too good, Valentine has finally let Anya go, and Anya's cheeks are glowing an angry red- she could have a nasty case of frostbite from kissing the ice for so long. Anya's on one knee, giving Val one of the most hateful glares you've ever seen, and Val is actually inviting her to charge! And off Anya goes! But Valentine not just standing still- she's started a casual backward glide, making “come-on” gestures to Anya all the while. That's only making Anya madder though, and she picks up the pace... And Valentine has to start running for real, because Anya's gaining on her!

Rick - Anya's chasing her right toward the penalty box, Dave... That's going to become the focal point of the action as this match wears on, but I think it's too early for Anya to expect to throw Valentine in and keep her there- especially with her partner laid out on the ice.

Dave - Still, if you're going to incapacitate your opponent, it should be as close to the box as possible, I would think. Val almost at those open boards, Anya close behind- NO! Valentine hops up- catches her skates on the top edge of the boards- springs back with an elbow and CRASHES into Anya!

Rick - So there IS a perch for the flyers, after all- right there at the penalty box! I think Valentine was leading Anya there all along, just so she could hit that springboard back elbow!

Dave - If so, it sure was effective- Anya is flat on her back, and she doesn't look too likely to get up! Valentine is standing over her- Jansen is standing by Xander, farther along the boards- and they're both sporting big self-satisfied grins at what they've accomplished. But this crowd is really giving those two a hiding, Rick... The sheer arrogance emanating from Ken Jansen and Valentine is rubbing everybody the wrong way.

Rick - Just the same, it looks like they're going to try to put Xander and Anya into the penalty box now. Valentine is leaning down to grab a handful of Anya's dark hair; and some distance away, Jansen is reaching for Xander...

Dave - Valentine picking Anya up off the ice now, and maneuvering her toward the box- actually trying to lift her up to dump her over the boards. No- wait! Anya kicking her feet- struggles out of Valentine's grasp and drops behind her! Anya with a big shove, and Valentine hits the boards! Anya has some fight in her yet! She's trying to tip Valentine over the barrier and into the box, but Valentine is clinging to the wood-

Rick - But look over at Xander- he's stopped Jansen in his tracks with a stiff elbow to the gut! Jansen was trying to go for Xander's head, but it looks like he's had time to recover a bit- and he grabs hold of Jansen's belt and pulls- HO! Jansen rammed face-first into the glass! Jansen is stunned briefly, and Xander climbs to his feet once again... takes Jansen by the hair and BAM! Into the glass again! And again! And AGAIN! Those rinkside fans are getting a wild close-up of Ken Jansen's face, Dave!

Dave - Xander and Anya are making a comeback, Rick, and this crowd is really heating up now! Valentine's twisted around to put her back to the boards, but Anya is doing her best to force her over- even swatting at her with closed fists! Val ducks her head to cover herself- but that just gives Anya an opening to put her in a headlock- and those fists are finding their mark in Valentine's face, her side, her back- NO! Val straightens up- throws Anya up and over in a back body drop- and Anya falls into the penalty box!

Rick - The struggle took something out of Valentine, though, as she gingerly rubs some sore spots... But looking over at Xander again, he's been bashing Jansen's face into the glass repeatedly, and the "Heartbeat of Canada" has been staggered... Xander now hooking him in a front facelock, takes hold of his belt- digs his skates in- SNAPS him over in a suplex! And now it's Jansen who's been laid out, clutching his spine and grimacing in pain!

Dave - Xander is watching Jansen try to get up after that, and now he's... skating away? No, he's coming back now- and what's this? He's just switched footing to perform a backward glide, peering over his shoulder. What is he thinking? Ken Jansen is very slowly rising to his feet... HO- Xander jumps in the air with legs spread wide- half rotation- COLLIDES with Ken Jansen! HOLY MACKEREL! What the hell was THAT?

Rick - Dave, Xander just pulled off a "Russian split jump" and turned it into a flying vertical press!! He stole a page from Jansen's style guide and used it against him! What a move! Ken Jansen is down- and you can almost see the birds circling around his head!

Dave - The crowd has literally EXPLODED, Rick! What sweet poetic justice! And Xander is up and pumping his fist in a well-deserved celebration of this turnaround! Rick - Over at the penalty box, Valentine's jaw has dropped- she can't believe what she's just seen. She's leaving the side of the box to go after Xander- LOOK OUT! Anya just reached over the boards and snagged that long blonde hair! Valentine's feet kept going, but the rest of her stopped- and she hit the ice with the back of her neck!

Dave - [Makes a painful hiss] Man... and no helmets or anything, either... Well, with Valentine taken down, Anya's opening the door of the box and stepping out. Xander is beckoning her over, as he kneels down to grasp Jansen under the arms and haul him upright. Jansen's not too steady, but Xander manages to stand him up, then slips behind him on all fours- and here comes Anya at top speed! She jumps in the air, tucks her arms and legs in- spins once, tw- HO! Sticks a leg out- and almost decapitates Ken Jansen! He tumbles backward and rolls over the crouching Xander to land on the back of his head!!

Rick - UnbeLIEVable! Anya went for what looked like a double axel, ladies and gentlemen, but in mid-rotation she turned it into a spinning kick that flipped Jansen head over heels! And the fans have gone absolutely NUTS!

Dave - Anya flew, Rick, and Jansen was in her airspace! And it's safe to say that the Canadian couple won't be underestimating their American opponents anymore! Anya is picking herself up off the ice and joining Xander, and they're enjoying an incredible ovation by the crowds both at the skating arena, AND here in the Dome. I think Jansen's about ready for the box!

Rick - Could be- but don't look now! Valentine has recovered, and she's charging at Xander and Anya from behind... Only a few feet away, and she leaps- BULLDOGS Anya down! Nothing but fury behind that move, Dave! And with Anya lying on her face, Valentine is spouting some pretty ugly language at her-

Dave - But there's Xander! He snatches her by the hair- RAMS a forearm across the temple, and Val is down again. You know, Jansen and Valentine dominated the first part of this match with their technique; but now that Xander and Anya have had a chance to adapt to the environment, not to mention managing to pull off a couple of high-impact moves, they're definitely in control here. A little distance away, Jansen's on hands and knees, rubbing his neck in considerable pain... And I think I just saw a light blink on over Xander's head, Rick.

Rick - If you're going to go after somebody, might as well do it when they're down- there's less chance they'll fight back!

Dave - Indeed, and with Ken Jansen groggily rising to his feet, now's the time... Xander going into a backward glide- he must be thinking about trying another figure skating style move. Builds up speed- jumps up with a half-rotation- NO! Jansen dropped prone and Xander flew right over him!

Rick - Once bitten- make that TWICE bitten, thrice shy, and Jansen must have seen Xander's attempt at a "half-flip jump" coming! Xander hit the ice pretty hard, landing on his side- the result of a high-risk move gone awry. Dave - Meanwhile, Ken Jansen is getting up once again, and he's heading over to the spot where Xander is fighting through some pain to come off the ice... Jansen stops just a couple of feet away from him- and starts a standing spin?

Rick - Yes, he's drawing his arms and legs together to increase the torque, but honestly! This is a bad time to be taunting your opponent, especially standing so close to him... And Xander's just about upright-

Dave - NO! Jansen just extended one arm, and CHOPPED him down like an oak tree!

Rick - A scratch spin into a discus lariat! That was just VICIOUS!

Dave - No disagreement here! Xander didn't so much land on the ice as BOUNCE off it after that blow! One thing I'm noticing about the Jansens' hybrid style is an extensive use of spinning moves. I thought it was just flashy and gratuitous- and to some extent I still do think that- but it's clear that adding rotational speed is also increasing the impact of their attacks.

Rick - Right you are, Dave- IF they can hit their moves, that is. But as Xander demonstrated, missing a big move makes you immediately vulnerable.

Dave - No doubt about that. Anyway, Valentine has joined Jansen by Xander's body, and they're both taking an arm and dragging him toward the penalty box. Not much movement from Xander here, which is making it easy for the Jansens to bring him right up to the boards- they both lift him by the legs, and over he goes! Xander's in the box, and that's drawing some negative heat from the fans sitting just behind the glass-

Rick - Wait a second, Dave- there are two people up there, holding up a "Canada Sucks!" sign and banging on the glass to try to get the wrestlers' attention... They look awfully familiar.

Dave - I see them too- it's James Morgan and Seldeenia! Looks like some members of the Planet Wrestling roster have gotten themselves front-row seats for this match!

Rick - Ken Jansen and Sean Swanson faced off with those two in a tag team tournament match earlier tonight... Are they there to enjoy the show, or somehow avenge their loss? That tag match here in the Dome turned rather messy near the end.

Dave - Who knows why they're there? Jansen noticed them, though, and he's pointing them out to Val... She just smiles and blows a kiss at them. I guess the presence of Morgan and Seldeenia isn't bothering them too much at this point. Now Ken and Valentine are turning their attention to Anya- who's climbing to her feet and still looking rather disoriented after getting bulldogged on the frozen floor. Jansen and Valentine quickly glide over to her and both hook her under the arms- almost as if they're acting as her escorts. Now they're turning her around and heading back to the box... Could be over in just a moment!

Rick - Anya's doing what she can to resist being carried to the penalty box, but with two strong skaters flanking her, it's not helping much!

Dave - Only ten feet from the side of the box- Jansen and Valentine both with a grip on the arms and a handful of Anya's silver costume- they launch her in! It's over-

Rick - NO! NO! You won't believe it- I can hardly believe it myself- but Xander stood up JUST then and Anya's body rebounded off of him! Anya ended up landing draped over the boards, but she didn't go into the penalty box! Meanwhile, Xander's been knocked into the glass at the back of the box from the 125 pound missile thrown at him, and collapses onto the bench!

Dave - Danny Dickson is on the scene and is confirming that Xander and Anya are still in this... That was as close as you can get, Rick! I thought the match was over!

Rick - I think "lucky" is a better word for it! Xander frantically lunges forward and physically shoves Anya off that precarious edge so she doesn't fall in and lose the match... And Jansen and Valentine, who had already zipped off to center ice and were clearly about to congratulate themselves just now, are looking somewhat disappointed at this. But the fans seem relieved that Xander saved his partner from going in, by luck or whatever... especially James and Seldeenia just behind the glass, who are standing up on their seats and dancing!

Dave - I don't see any relief from Xander, though- more like irritation. He's climbed out of the box and is actually scolding Anya for getting into a situation to be eliminated- all this, while she's using the barricade for support just to get back on her skates.

Rick - This is the teamwork element we talked about before, Dave... They really have to get their act together, and soon, or they'll be looking at a loss before long.

Dave - Xander now giving Anya some instructions... But Jansen and Valentine are on their way back, and fast! They're skating side-by-side- now Jansen puts his hands on her hips and boosts her up to sit on his right shoulder- what are they planning? Closing in, and Anya just spotted them- shouts a warning to Xander, and he turns- Jansen THROWS Valentine off his shoulder! Val catches Xander around the neck with her ankles in mid-air- JESUS MURPHY! SPINNING HEADSCISSORS!!

[The arena bursts into screams of incredulity and groans of empathy.]

Rick - You talk about your kamikaze-style moves- that was one just now, and BOY, did it pay off in spades! Xander's distraction gave Jansen and Val their opening, and just look at the result... it seems like Xander's spending more time flat on his back than up on his feet!

Dave - Anya is still standing though, and she's not happy! She takes off in a bull charge at Valentine- but Jansen intercepts her and grasps her wrist, using her inertia to start spinning her around him- is it death spiral time again?

Rick - [Laughs] Ken Jansen is stealing Xander's partner! Dave - Anya wrenches back on his arm, pulling herself toward him, and she's got that forearm poised for a shot- What? Jansen twists to dodge it and pushes her torso down- twines his leg around hers and locks her arm back- For God's sake, Rick! He's got her in the abdominal stretch! And he's using his other foot to glide the both of them in a circuit around the rink!

Rick - Listen to the reaction of this crowd, Dave- they can't believe these antics, but they're LOVING this! Well, except for Morgan and Seldeenia behind the penalty box... those two are trying to start another "Jansen sucks" chant, and it's spreading pretty quickly...

Dave - Anya's most definitely NOT enjoying it- but try as she might to get out of it, the much stronger Ken Jansen has her where he wants her... and HE looks like he's having the time of his life out there! I guess he's already forgotten how Xander and Anya dribbled his skull on the ice a few minutes ago. And speaking of Xander, he's been in a near-senseless state since Valentine spun him down on his head... which has given Val an opportunity to pull him back in the vicinity of the penalty box. She's now trying to lift him up, but has to grasp the boards for leverage; it's got to be difficult to pick up much weight on that slippery surface, especially since Xander is so much heavier than she is.

Rick - Also, you might have noticed that she's slightly favoring her knee- the one Xander had taken a monkey wrench to earlier. She was performing well enough up to now, but executing that flying headscissors must have aggravated the injury. Even so, she's managed to drape his arms over the boards, and she's using a fistful of his tights to try to get him all the way over. Wait- Xander planting his foot under him- jerks an elbow out and gets Val in the face! There's still some life in him! Valentine staggers back a step, looking a little surprised- then returns with a closed fist of her own!

Dave - Xander thrashes with a left-handed lariat- ducked by Val, and she instinctively steps in with a waistlock- trying to go for a belly-to-belly suplex? But Xander grabs the boards to block it- then blatantly sticks a thumb in her eye! Val is blinded, and lets go of Xander to rub her face... Now Xander clamps an arm around her neck- hooks his leg around hers- GOOD GOD! Drops backward in a reverse Russian legsweep! Apart from Xander's shoulder going into her throat, I think Valentine took some ice on her cheekbone!

Rick - Whatever it was, she got it worse than Xander did in throwing himself down, and now it's Xander who's attempting to put Valentine into the penalty box. And as you might expect, James Morgan and Seldeenia are right up against the glass, laughing at Val and giving her mock encouragement...

Dave - Xander's leaned her chest-first on the boards and he's really pushing down on her head in an effort to force her over- Valentine using the weight of her lower body to keep from tipping in, making it a bit of a stalemate, but Val's clearly hurting in that position... You kind of get the feeling that Xander is just as happy to keep her there and go on inflicting pain as he would be to simply throw her in.

Rick - That's not unlike Ken Jansen, then... He's still forcibly taking Anya on a tour of the ice rink! But it looks like he's finally releasing the abdominal stretch, holding her hand to twist her away from him- as if he's ice dancing with her! Anya's back is hunched from being in that hold, and her face is flushed with animosity out there...

Dave - But Ken's face is just beaming, with that hotshot grin aimed at the world at large- how proud he must be of himself! Anya's pounding her fist into Jansen's gripping hand to try to make him let go, but his grasp is solid... Hold on- she tips her skate blades to the side- uses Jansen's arm as a fulcrum to slide on the sides of her boots, right between his legs! That caught him by surprise! Jansen's leaned half over- Anya behind him now- OOHH! Uppercut to the groin! And Ken Jansen goes down on one knee, clutching his nether regions and sucking air!

Rick - That's giving Anya a moment to rest... Back at the penalty box, Xander hasn't let up on Val at all. Hold it now- Valentine jabbing him in the ribs with an elbow. Again- and again, and Xander eases up the pressure on Val's head... She reaches up- grasps his wrist, and suddenly twists behind his back- HO! Applies a crossface chickenwing! Xander didn't expect that at all! His free arm is flailing, going to Val's forearm clamped on his face, trying to reach his other locked-back arm, but it all seems to be ineffectual- She's got an iron grip on him, and it's obvious that this is a retaliatory measure on her part! Valentine is tugging on his head like she wants to rip it off!

Dave - A little of Xander's medicine fed back to him, perhaps... Anya's looked over that way and sees what's going, and she's starting to head in that direction- but jerks back with a flash of annoyance as Jansen grabs her arm again! But this time, she snaps a fist right into his jaw! Jansen reels- another right hand by Anya finds its mark, and now she moves in with a kneelift to the midsection... Anya turning things around by taking Jansen by the wrist, and she goes for a short-arm whip- WHOA!

Rick - Check THAT out! In one smooth motion, Jansen ducked down and heaved Anya up in an overhead press! And Anya is literally freaking out up there! Jansen is just gliding around, holding her up in the air, as if showing her off to the crowd... He isn't dropping her or anything- but he might, and who would trust him either way? Anya sure doesn't!

Dave - This scuffle is going back-and-forth on both ends of the rink, Rick... Jansen is apparently treating Anya like another pairs partner- and at the box, Valentine is using her crossface chickenwing hold to try to push Xander over the boards! No- he reaches back- finds her head- snapmares her over his shoulder and into the penalty box! She is fully in there, folks!

Rick - But she's not wanting to stay in there- Val jumped right back up and is trying to climb out- but Xander takes hold of her head- JESUS! He just SLAMMED her face into the boards! How nasty was that? Valentine drops like a stone, with Xander- as well as James and Seldeenia and all the fans sitting around them- all jeering her...

Dave - And as for Anya, she's panicking and kicking her legs- Jansen can't hold her in the air anymore, and lets her drop- but he also just spotted what Xander did to his wife, and he takes off like a shot to go after him! Xander has his back to him at the moment, still busy gloating... But the volume of the fans is rising as they see Jansen closing the distance to the box, and that's alerting Xander that something's up- he turns- WHAM!! Jansen runs RIGHT into him with a charging lariat- and BOTH men go over the boards!!

Rick - It's damn lucky for Ken Jansen that Xander went in with him, because he could just as easily have lost the match right now. But Jansen's got a real vindictive streak in him, and I'm positive that the only thing he was thinking about was clobbering Xander! Remember that both your opponents have to be in the box, and you and your partner have to be somewhere outside of it to win, folks!

Dave - Well, they're both picking themselves up off the floor of the penalty box, and Xander sees that he's got both Canadians in there now- and he tries to hop the boards! But no such luck, as Jansen grabs a fistful of his tights and keeps him right where he is. HO! Xander swings an elbow, catching him across the jaw! Jansen returns with a right hand!

Rick - Don't forget about Valentine- OOHH! She just gave Xander a shot to the family jewels from behind that he won't soon forget! Xander doubled over- and Jansen pulls Xander's shirt up over his head and starts whaling on him!!

Dave - We've got ourselves an oldtime hockey brawl in the penalty box, and Danny Dickson can only stand by and watch, because in this match, there's absolutely nothing he can do about it!

Rick - Jansen taking Xander by his covered head- slams him into the glass, and Xander falls across the bench, thrashing at his shirt to pull it down again. Behind the glass, you can see James Morgan and Seldeenia flipping off Jansen and Valentine... Ken and Val just returning with a rude gesture of their own. Seeing those two in the stands every time they come by the penalty box has to be bugging them by now.

Dave - Well, Jansen is telling Valentine to climb out of the box now- LOOK OUT!!

Rick - HOLY MOTHER OF GOD! Did you SEE that?!

Dave - That girl is CRAZY! Anya just DOVE over the boards and hit Jansen and Val with a flying cross-body press! She must have built up some INCREDIBLE speed coming in, and just launched herself like a suicidal rocket into the penalty box! ALL FOUR skaters are inside the box, ladies and gentlemen!

Rick - Yeah, and it looks like a car wreck in there! The bodies are everywhere, strewn about in some awfully awkward positions!

Dave - Now it's come down to which team can get out of the box first, Rick... But before that, they have to disentangle themselves, and figure out which limbs belong to whom! There's some movement in that pile of humanity now, as Anya shifts off of Jansen and Valentine... she's crawling over to Xander, who's managed to readjust his T-shirt- but it's his face that's contorted now, and he looks like he needs to take some aggression out on somebody. Ken Jansen is up on one knee, and he's helping Val off the floor- but Xander steps in and snags a handful of sandy-blond hair and wrenches Jansen's head back! OH! Forearm across the face by Xander! He pulls Jansen upright- starts bashing his head into the glass! He's pressing Ken's face against that cold surface, and James Morgan and Seldeenia are banging on the other side of the transparent barrier and shouting, "Go Ken!"... oozing much sarcasm, I might add!

Rick - JEEZ! Seldeenia just fired off a blow-horn at Jansen's face- that HAD to bust his eardrums, or at least give him a headache.

Dave - A worse one than he's probably already got, anyway! But Xander now taking Jansen by the collar and belt- thrusts him head-first into the glass at the side of the box. Ken Jansen is barely able to stand, Rick- he's groping for the penalty box door, and he may be thinking to just crawl out and get away so he can regroup.

Rick - Well, he's got the door open, Dave! And Xander is having to clomp his way over to stop him from escaping! OH! Drops an elbow to Jansen's back, and Ken goes down- with only his arm outside the box.

Dave - But that doesn't seem to be enough for Xander- he's pulling him off the floor- bending him down, and applying a gutwrench- into a power bomb lift! He's going to plant him on the floor!

Rick - No- Jansen flailing his arms- struggling to reach the top of the glass to somehow block this move- But there's Valentine! She dives for Xander- Anya trying to intercede- Val bumps Xander and makes him turn out of control- NOO!

Dave - JIMINY CHRISTMAS! Xander with a falling power bomb OUT THE DOOR and ONTO THE ICE! Jansen has been demolished! His back HAS to be shattered!

Rick - Xander didn't want to send Jansen out of the box, Dave, but at the very least, he has to be satisfied with how this debacle has turned out... Ken Jansen is lying in a spread eagle, showing no signs of life! It's a simple matter now for Xander to drag him back in- if he can recover from his own spill in there.

Dave - But watch out, because Valentine saw what happened, and she's scrambling to jump over the boards- she can win this match just like that, if she can leave Xander and Anya in the box! But no- no such luck, because Anya's tugged her back by the trail of her skirt. And look at Val spin around to ream her out- [Laughs] Rick, she's shouting about how much her outfit cost, and how DARE Anya try to ruin it! Up in the stands, James and Seldeenia are leading a mocking chant...

Fans - Let's go, Val, let's go!

Dave - ...Waving their "Canada sucks!" sign in the air all the while! [Cracking up] This... this is just amazing, Rick- I have no other word for it. It's too much! Rick - This is Planet Wrestling, Dave- that's all that needs to be said!

Dave - Yeah... where else can you find wrestlers dressed like figure skaters, beating each other's heads in one moment, and fussing about their costumes the next?

Rick - Nowhere, that's where! It's PW, baby- yeah! I love this!

Dave - Oh man... [Composes himself] But getting back to the action: Valentine going for the boards again- but stopped once again by Anya, who pulls her back by the arm- into a stiff forearm shot! Val ducking low- spears Anya into the back of the box, knocking the air out of her... Now she hooks Anya in a front facelock- lifts and turns- drops her straddling on top of the boards! Anya is stunned- and in some degree of agony, too- And Valentine hops out!!

Rick - But Xander desperately throws himself out the door at the same time- Danny Dickson signaling that this match is still on! Whew- that was SO close.

Dave - Still, Valentine is trying to shove Anya off the boards and back into the box- but Anya hits her with the back of her fist to make her back off. Anya now swinging her leg over the side of the boards to sit on top- Val rushes her with intent to knock her over- Anya catches her in a front facelock! Pushes off and swings- SWEET HOME ALABAMA! Anya with a TORNADO DDT off the boards!!

Rick - This is getting SO brutal, Dave! I'm not sure if Val took any of that on her head- more likely on her shoulders and back- but STILL, that's GOT to be it for her!

Dave - This match has taken so much out of all four competitors, Rick. Xander is only now getting back to his feet; and Anya is on hands and knees on the ice, trying to catch her breath... As for the Canucks, they're both laid out and motionless. They were both caught in close quarters in that last exchange, and couldn't use their figure skating style, which was their biggest advantage in this match.

Rick - We could be seeing a turning point here; it won't take much for Xander and Anya to put their opponents into the penalty box now.

Dave - Anya is moving toward Valentine, probably to do just as you suggested- but Xander calls her away? Why? She's gesturing that she wants to throw Val in, but Xander is shaking his head no... I don't exactly know what's going on here, but she's heading back to join him. Meanwhile, Valentine is getting a chance to recover... This is looking like it could be a bad strategy on Xander's part...

Rick - Val slowly and groggily trying to stand up- but what's this? Xander grabbing Anya by the arm- whips her sharply right in Val's direction! Anya almost falling from that abrupt push- but she brings her forearm forward and bowls Valentine down again! I get it: Xander wants to punish Valentine some more before he lets her get tossed into the penalty box!

Dave - Anya doesn't look like she was privy to Xander's plan, though... But she's brought Val up and is maneuvering her toward the box- But Xander signaling for her to stop again. Anya's clearly nonplussed by this, but she's listening to his directions... Anya taking Valentine's wrist- digs her skates in and whips her- HO! Right into the glass at the side of the rink! Val was so out of it that she couldn't even put her hands up to cushion the impact, and she hit the barrier fully on the front side of her shoulder. Val staggering back from the glass- and Xander's on the move! Good GOD! He MOWS her down with a charging lariat! She's being decimated in there!

Rick - Anya now asking Xander if she can put Valentine into the penalty box... Xander shaking his head, no- again! This is starting to get ridiculous, Dave- Val's been beaten down and she's not even able to defend herself. Anya can see that there's no point in torturing her anymore, and Valentine could be tossed in any time, but for some reason Xander just won't leave it at that.

Dave - Yeah, I'm not sure what he's thinking out there, if he’s trying to send some sort of message or what, but he's telling Anya to move off a bit and to get ready... Anya not looking too pleased with the order, but off she’s going anyway. Xander roughly pulling Valentine off the ice- she's practically limp, Rick. But he points at Anya, and whips Val to her- Anya gritting her teeth- LUNGES forward and spears Valentine down!

Rick - Surprisingly, this is drawing some negative heat from the fans... They're aware that things are getting out of hand, and I don't think they're enjoying seeing Val get bounced back and forth this way- especially when it's obvious that she's physically unable to compete. Anya is certainly getting more and more perturbed by Xander's malice; as stiff as her spear was, you could see that her heart wasn't totally in it... and in a way, it was almost as if she would rather not have done it.

Dave - But Xander's almost completely oblivious to all that- all he seems to be thinking about is causing damage. Anya is now asking him again, somewhat harshly, if it's okay to toss Valentine in... He’s thinking about it- and he just made a dismissive wave. I guess the beating is over for now! Anya is having to grasp an arm and a handful of red silk and DRAG Val to the box... Xander apparently annoyed at how long it's taking, and he skates over- hauls Valentine off the ice himself and unceremoniously dumps her over the boards.

Rick - Finally! Even I think that was prolonged far more than was necessary- but that's one down, and there's one to go... Xander is now turning his attention to Ken Jansen, who's turned over on his front and is clutching his back painfully... Anya coming over as well, and they're heaving him up. Xander and Anya move in front of him, both hook an arm, and they're gliding him toward the box- no, wait, Anya was trying to take him to the box, but Xander, once again, seems to have other plans. He's pointing to the boards at the side of the rink...

Dave - No ambiguity about what's on his mind! Anya and Xander pushing off with Jansen between them- building up speed and- OOHH! WHAT impact as they run him backward RIGHT into the glass! That's more punishment to the back, as if more was needed after the powerbomb on the ice... Xander seems to want to do it again, but Anya's arguing that they should just throw Jansen into the penalty box and win the match before Valentine has a chance to recover.

Rick - She's acting as a voice of reason in there, and it's probably a good thing for Xander, because he seems to become less and less rational as this match goes on...

Dave - At any rate, Xander is grudgingly agreeing, and now they're bringing Jansen toward the box... Won't be long now, Rick! Imagine the bragging rights Xander and Anya will earn if they beat Jansen and Valentine at their own game! They're right at the box now, and Xander's trying to push Jansen over the boards- but he's not going in like he ought to be...

Rick - You know why, Dave? It's because Jansen is holding onto Anya! And SHE's bracing herself against the boards to avoid being pulled in!

Dave - Xander's face is flushing with frustration here- he can't understand what's going wrong. Anya grunting with exertion against Jansen's body weight- Xander finally looks over and sees that Ken's got an arm around her waist. He reaches around and hammers on Jansen's arm- HOLY SMOKES! Xander shoving Anya down! What's the matter with him?

Rick - He did it to get her away from Jansen- but WOW! The TEMPER- and the way he lashed out at Anya is just mind-blowing! Anya's staring at him in shock- but Xander, again, is oblivious- he's pounding on Jansen in unbridled anger!

Dave - Jansen is trying to cover up and strike back, but Xander's really cutting loose... He takes Ken in a side headlock- starts planting fists in every exposed area... HO! Look out! Jansen wraps his arms around Xander's waist- MAN! Counters into a belly-to-back suplex on the ice! Desperation move by Jansen without a shadow of a doubt, but it worked, because Xander is down and wondering what just happened!

Rick - Jansen can't capitalize though... he's still feeling the effects of the damage that's been done to his body tonight. Xander not down for long- he moves over to Jansen, brings him up by the hair, and goes to town on him with hard right hands... Xander now whipping him toward the box- but Jansen digs his skates into the ice and won't go! Xander is pulled back toward Jansen instead- OH! Xander gets him with a kneelift before Jansen can make any moves. Xander follows up with an elbow to the back of the neck...

Dave - Jansen is trying to get back on track, and having a lot of difficulty doing it. But the fact that he's still resisting defeat is putting Xander in a blue rage, Rick.

Rick - That could be, but how long can Jansen hold on? Xander is putting the point of his elbow right into the injured spine area, and that's not going to do Jansen any long-term good. But hold on- Xander giving a signal- what did he say?

Dave - He just shouted, "Hemorrhage"! He's going to use that devastating finishing move on the ice- and probably KILL Ken Jansen in the process! He ducks low behind Jansen, hooks the arms back, starts tilting him up- NO, Jansen's fighting it- and Xander's skates slip out from under him!! Jansen drops down behind him- Xander couldn't pull that move off on such a slippery surface, Rick! Rick - But look at Ken Jansen- he's moving again, and with some kind of violent purpose! He takes up Xander's legs under his arms in wheelbarrow position- slants his skates for leverage against the ice- BIG heave and THROWS him up and over in a friggin' DANGEROUS-looking wheelbarrow suplex!! Xander lands on the back of his damn NECK! Something's got to be broken after that, Dave- I don't care how well-conditioned you are. That's SOLID ICE, for crying out loud!

Dave - I wouldn't be surprised if everybody in this match ended up rattling when they move! But look at this- Jansen is fighting through wracking pain in his back and struggling to his feet- he's breathing hard and those eyes are flashing with wild determination... And the crowd is getting excited- they can't believe the comeback he's making, and they REALLY can't believe he's actually getting up! But he is, and he's looking at Xander's writhing form with something between hatred and loathing... Jansen shuffling over to him- drops an elbow RIGHT to the sternum!

Rick - Xander folds up on the ice, gasping for breath- as if he wasn't in enough pain already!

Dave - Having gotten in that last shot, Jansen is half-gliding, half-crawling his way to the penalty box to retrieve Valentine. Meanwhile, Anya- who's been hanging back since the scuffle in front of the box- is coming over to check on Xander... This man is in bad shape, Rick, and Anya has a look of concern on her face over his condition.

Rick - Over at the box, Jansen is helping Valentine climb over the boards... Neither of them is looking too healthy, either. And Valentine's leg seems to be bothering her a little more now. Do you get the sense that this match isn't all fun and games for them anymore?

Dave - You're not kidding- the devil-may-care attitude that the Jansens showed at the outset of this fiasco has long since dissipated, Rick. They know they're going to have to fight tooth-and-nail to get out of this match intact... As too many wrestlers have found out, there's no such thing as a walk- or skate- in the park in Planet Wrestling! Jansen and Valentine are heading off to the far end of the rink for a breather... As for Xander, he's still on the ice, though he's being tended to by Anya.

Rick - She's trying to help him up, and he's having his problems, particularly in the neck area... All four of these wrestlers will no doubt need medical attention when this thing's over. Xander finally standing, with difficulty- and would you listen to that! The first thing he does is snap at her for not helping him deal with Ken Jansen just now!!

Dave - What was she supposed to do?! He treated her like a hindrance when she was trying to help him throw Jansen in the penalty box!

Rick - Yes, and finally she’s standing up for herself and telling him so... But he's more or less blowing her off now, and making his way toward the box, with Anya trailing behind. Why is he going there?

Dave - I don't know- Danny Dickson is questioning it, too, but Xander is instructing him in the most impolite language to mind his own damn business... In fact, Xander's going right INTO the box! Anya is staying outside, for the obvious reason that to join him inside would automatically lose them the match, but she's watching him rummage around under the bench in there... Hold it, Rick- Xander's just pulled some sort of object from the bottom of the bench.

Rick - Oh hell, that's- that's his monkey wrench! He must've stashed it there in the rink sometime before the match! The referee sees it, too, and he's warning Xander not to even consider using it- but as we discussed before, all Dickson CAN do is warn him. There's no provision for disqualifying Xander for bringing this weapon into the match; no one even ANTICIPATED anything like this coming into play! But Anya is not approving of this whatsoever- I don't know if she knew it was there, but she wants him to put it away... She objected to him using that weapon on Valentine earlier tonight, too.

Dave - Unlike Xander, it seems Anya's a strong believer in fair play- well... to a larger extent than Xander at any rate- but this time her protests are falling on deaf ears, because it looks like Xander is going to use it regardless of what she says. This is what it's come to for him, isn't it? Damage- by any means necessary! Now he's exiting the penalty box and ordering Anya to follow him... looks like they're heading off to confront the Canadians!

Rick - Jansen and Valentine seem about ready to continue the match as well, and they're skating at speed to intercept Xander and Anya... And with the impromptu rest period over, this crowd is getting out of their seats to watch these teams collide again!

Dave - Do you suppose Jansen and Valentine have seen the wrench in Xander's hand?

Rick - There's no telling... But I can tell you that with that kind of distance to play with, we might see the Jansens dip into their figure skating style again- but you know something? I'm getting the distinct impression that the fans are eager to see what those two can pull off!

Dave - I agree- whatever anybody thinks about Ken Jansen and Valentine's attitude for the most part, they never fail to impress in the ring- or the rink, in this case! And this flashy hybrid style of theirs has certainly excited the crowd tonight! Xander and Anya took that arsenal away from them for a good chunk of this "Stars on Ice" Match- and they sure did a number on Jansen and Valentine in the process- but we're back to a long-range scenario, and that's where Ken and Val have had the most success.

Rick - The two teams are racing toward each other like runaway freight trains, and that distance is closing fast... Jansen and Valentine are solidly side-by-side, Anya is leading Xander by a couple of feet... They're a dozen feet apart, and Jansen is poised with his hands on Val's waist- he vaults her into the air! There it is! Valentine with a double spin- SMASHES into Anya!! That was like a corkscrew body press, and you should have SEEN Anya's eyes bug out when Val hit her!

Dave - But Xander glides right past- OOOHHH! Monkey wrench into the kidneys of Ken Jansen, who never saw it coming! That cheap shot knocked him right off his skates, and he's rolled up on the ice, hugging his side in what has to be INTENSE pain!

Rick - I'm not going to try to read anybody's mind, but it was almost as if Xander used Anya as a decoy so he could sneak that wrench shot in...

Dave - I don't know if it was anything as callous as that- at least, I don't want to believe it was- but Xander is taking full advantage of this opportunity to work Jansen over with the monkey wrench... seemingly unaware that his partner is being dragged back in the direction of the penalty box by Valentine.

Rick - That's what I'm talking about, Dave: does Xander CARE what happens to Anya? Or is he so narrowly focused on indulging his violent tendencies that everything else just fades into the background? I can't figure him out.

Dave - The fans aren't appreciating his approach to tag team competition, either... And to think, he wonders why Anya is better-received by the crowd than he is. But it's clear at this point that he doesn't think he can win this match by teamwork and skill alone- he's had to resort to foreign objects. At least in that sense, he's been successful, as he's dug that wrench into as many vulnerable spots of Ken Jansen's body as he could find.

Rick - It's hard to cover up against a weapon like that, Dave- it hurts no matter where you get hit! Xander is hauling Jansen up by the head now, brandishing the monkey wrench for a shot to the face-

Dave - NO! Jansen with a quick-as-lightning Fujiwara armbar takes Xander down! And he scissors the arm with his legs- and starts trying to pry the weapon out of his hand!

Rick - Did you hear the pop from the crowd just now? They're sick of seeing Xander play dirty- and just like everybody else, they want SOMEBODY to take that damn wrench away from him!

Dave - Xander's having trouble keeping his grip on the weapon while Jansen's hyperextending his elbow... But he's pushing himself off the ice with his other hand, and is managing to slide his knees underneath him- this will give him some leverage to work with in trying to escape that reverse cross armbreaker. Xander now up on his skates, but hunched down with Jansen's legs still wrapped around his arm... HO! Xander drops a knee to Jansen's forehead, and the hold is broken! Xander backing away a bit, cradling his arm- but still holding that wrench, mind you... Jansen climbing to his feet too, nursing his side and rubbing his head at the same time. But a flash of anger from Xander- he rushes Jansen!

Rick - NO! Jansen ducked and boosted him up in an overhead press! Just like he did to Anya earlier! And this time, he's kicking himself into a standing spin- no doubt in preparation to give his opponent the heave-ho!

Dave - OOHH! Xander counters with the wrench to Jansen's face, and both men crumple into a heap! I'm not sure who got hurt worse there- Xander, who fell farthest, or Jansen, who had Xander land on top of him!

Rick - Xander is clutching his elbows- he took most of the impact of the fall on them- but he's edging up off of Jansen- OH! Slams the wrench down into Jansen's face again! That's going to keep Ken down for the time being, as Xander rolls away, massaging some of the sting out of his arms...

Dave - We've still got action going on over at the penalty box, Rick- Valentine has brought Anya right beside the boards, and is lifting her to throw her over... But Anya is not going gentle into that cold box! She's striking out with fists to Val's midsection- Valentine rams an elbow to her head, then takes two handfuls of dark hair- tries to bash Anya's face into the top of the boards! But Anya blocks it- back-handed shot to the jaw knocks Val back a step... Anya now gripping the boards- thrusts herself forward and NAILS Valentine with a lariat!

Rick - Whew! These women have taken shots at each other here and there all night- but they're REALLY duking it out right now!

Dave - Now it's Anya's turn to try hauling Val over the boards- but Valentine resisting as much as she can... And Anya, with a wicked grin on her face, grabbing Val by the hair- SMACKS her forehead against the boards! Valentine is staggered, touching her face to check for blood... Anya moving in for the kill- But Val shoves her back in anger- HO BOY! She SLAPPED Anya right across the face! FRICK! Anya returns with a slap of her own!! Then a closed right hand! Val responds in kind! And we've got a fistfight, ladies and gentlemen!!

Rick - Do you hear the crowd right now?

Fans - FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!

Rick - They're going absolutely BALLISTIC! Such beauty- such grace- such brutality- I love it!!

Dave - If you've been waiting for Valentine and Anya to tear it up, folks, you're getting it all right now! They're trading fists- Anya gets a good one to Val's cheek- and now she's clasping her hands around Valentine's throat, choking her against the boards! Val trying to break Anya's grip, no luck- OH! And Valentine brings her knee up into the abdomen of Anya! And a second time, making her release the chokehold- and a third hard knee doubles her over. Valentine quickly grasping her around the waist- JEEZUS! Gutwrench suplex on the ice! Anya's down, holding her back, and Val is practically SPITTING at her, so infuriated is she!

Rick - Valentine is as prideful as her husband, Dave- and I daresay she's got a little of that vengeful spirit in her, too... But now she's making a throat-cutting motion with her thumb- I think she has something evil in mind for Anya!

Dave - She brings Anya off the ice- scoops her up- If this is what I think it is, and I sure hope it's not, Valentine is planning to drop her right on her head with a bodyslam piledriver!! This will break a neck for sure! But Anya's thrashing up there- Val trying to keep her balance, but her feet slipping- and Anya drops behind, and she's got Valentine in an inverted facelock! OOHH! Anya with a falling reverse DDT! WHAT a counter!

Rick - She saved herself from certain doom, and this has turned right around- again!!

Dave - Valentine is flat on her back... but where's Anya going? She just went into the penalty box- no, she's climbing up onto the boards! Stands fully upright- points down at Val- JUMPS!! "Deep Inside of You"!! FROG SPLASH lands SQUARELY on Valentine! That's it- the match is over for Val, guaranteed!

Rick - She's had all the air crushed out of her lungs, that's for sure, and she's lying on the ice hugging her chest... But Anya paid for that high-risk move too- like Xander a few minutes ago, I think she hurt her own arms on the ice when she came down. Unfortunately for her, that means she's unable to capitalize on her big move!

Dave - Speaking of Xander, he's left Jansen and is on his way over to the box- still clutching his monkey wrench, you'll notice. He must have seen Anya in trouble, and is going to help her...

Rick - Finally, a little human compassion from this man-

Dave - Spoke too soon! He glided right past his own partner, who's still down with possible elbow injuries, and is moving in on Valentine! Xander gazing down at her... he kneels down and takes her by the head- probably to pick her up and put her in the box-

Rick - NO! He hit her with the wrench! And now he's choking her with it! This isn't going over well with the fans at all- they're actually booing this!

Dave - I don't blame them- there's no reason for doing this. Valentine is basically helpless- what's he going to gain by continuing to beat on her? He's standing up again, and hearing the negative response of the crowd... and he just flips them off, as if he's telling the world to go screw itself! What a lousy attitude from this man!

Rick - Val trying to crawl away from him, to create some distance so she can get her bearings back... But Xander leans down and grabs her by the leg- NO! He's smashing her knee with that weapon! That's the knee that's been giving her problems tonight- the same one he attacked before! He's sliding her kneepad down to expose the joint- and MY GOD, Dave, what an UGLY bruise on that knee.

Dave - This is overkill! He's not even trying to win the match anymore- inflicting pain and suffering is all he cares about here! He's turned her over on her back again, and has her leg locked under his armpit so he can get clean shots on her injured knee... Hold it- he positions the wrench under the knee- yanks up on it! For God's sake! He's going to tear her leg into two pieces at this rate! Xander grabbing her other leg now- steps around to force her over, and he's got an elevated crab locked on!

Rick - That hold basically hangs you from the knees, Dave- and with the wrench digging into the underside of the joint that way, this has to be excruciating for Valentine. Her face is pressed against the ice, and she's scrabbling with both hands to find some way to get out- but she's going nowhere!

Dave - Danny Dickson is trying to make him release the hold... Even Anya has come over, damaged as she is, and she's almost pleading with him to let Val go and just throw her into the penalty box already- but if he's hearing either of them, he's ignoring them. Hell- Valentine is TAPPING OUT, Rick! If this match was about pinfalls or submissions, Xander would've won by now... But this is HEINOUS! I don't understand why he's doing this!

Rick - He's showing his true colors, Dave... And he doesn't care one bit about the pain he's causing, or about the reaction of the fans, or even about what Anya thinks about it all. [Voice becoming frustrated] Look- it doesn't matter if he can't be disqualified for this, Dickson's got to get in there and make him break that hold!

Dave - I agree, this has gotten out of hand...

[There's a sudden scream from the stands.]

Dave - Good lord, Rick- Ken Jansen is up! He's up, and his eyes are locked like twin lasers on Xander halfway across the rink! And here he comes, like a missile on skates! He's eating up the distance FAST- Xander's looking in the other direction and doesn't see him- but Anya does, and she's trying to warn him... Twenty feet away now- Dickson clearing out of there! Anya diving out of the way! Ten feet and Jansen jumps with a spin!

Rick - TRIPLE AXEL- into a DEVASTATING spinning back elbow RIGHT to the back of Xander's skull!!! The torque on that strike sent Xander sprawling on his face! Ken Jansen didn't land that jump on his skates- he ended up down on his rump- but still, he has made the save for Valentine in SPECTACULAR fashion!! A few points deducted for sloppiness, Dave, but full points for effectiveness!

Dave - I think what's remarkable isn't that it was done well, but that it was done at all... but he has been practicing! Jansen taking a moment to check Valentine- now helping her get up, but she's telling him she's okay, even though she can't put any weight on her injured leg... That's the trademark Jansen stubbornness showing... But she's pointing toward Xander, who's dizzily trying to pick himself up- and incredibly, he's STILL got the wrench!

Rick - Jansen is leaving Val to move in on him now- Xander on all fours, shaking his head to clear the cobwebs out... Jansen grabs his weapon arm- OH! DRIVES it down with a kneedrop! But Xander still gripping the monkey wrench- a SECOND kneedrop by Jansen and the hand lets go! Jansen now looking down at the wrench- kicks it away with his skate- FINALLY!

Dave - Xander's getting some measure of comeuppance here... But Valentine hasn't recovered from the damage done to her knee- she's barely standing, mainly on one skate, and she can't glide at all, only shuffle her way around... I still think that, physically speaking, she's done for the night. And Anya apparently thinking so, too, as she's coming up from behind with designs on throwing her into the penalty box, only a few feet away... Anya grabbing for her shoulder- HOLY MOTHER OF PEARL!! Where did THAT come from?!

Rick - Out of NOWHERE, Valentine with a standing "illusion spin"- swinging her body to the side and around, and her leg up in a TREMENDOUS roundhouse kick that caught Anya across the bridge of the nose with the laces of her skate! That was nothing but an instinctual response by Valentine to Anya's hand on her shoulder- but WOW!

Dave - And Anya was thrown backward into the boards- falls over and into the penalty box! Somebody get a camera into that box- Anya might be knocked cold! That, uh, "illusion kick" took about all Valentine had left, too- she's down on hands and knees, breathing hard... When did you learn so damn much about figure skating, anyway, Rick?

Rick [seems a bit embarrassed] - Um... I’ve been doing my homework?

Dave - [Sarcastically.] Right. But a short distance away, now, Ken Jansen has Xander by the arm and a handful of hair and is roughly pulling him upright, Xander fighting all the while- but a series of forearms by Jansen puts a stop to that! Jansen with a short-arm whip- Xander with a clothesline! NO! Jansen counters into a fireman's carry lift- and kicks into a standing spin!

Rick - He tried a different version of this before, and Xander made him pay for it...

Dave - But this is almost like an airplane spin, and Xander's disoriented already- HOLD IT- Jansen letting go of the leg but holding onto the head- CHRIST ALMIGHTY!! SWINGING PANIC BREAKER!!! Xander driven down to the ice with ENORMOUS impact! Blow the whistle, ref, this match is OVER!

Rick - Ken Jansen has to put him in the box before the match can end- but executing that move has done damage to himself as well! The rink environment has proven to be a hazard to both these teams tonight, Dave.

Dave - That's most definitely true... Xander has slid on his face almost up to the penalty box; Jansen is sitting up, but holding his back painfully; Valentine is on one knee, gingerly readjusting her kneepad... And Anya is still in the box, moving slightly, but definitely not looking like she's about to jump up and fly around at this point. This match has been grueling for everybody, Rick.

Rick - But the stakes are high for Ken Jansen and Valentine, the creators of this "Stars on Ice" Match- they need to win, to save face after all the hype leading up to Shockwave.

Dave - Well, that outcome is looking to be just around the corner, as Jansen has moved over to Valentine and is supporting her as she stands... and Xander, unluckily for him, is using the boards at the penalty box to pick himself up! Jansen saying something to Val- they clasp hands and rush Xander for a double clothesline! This is it! Xander with his back to the boards- OH- OH MY GOD!

[The entire audience gasps audibly.]

Rick - NO! I CAN'T BELIEVE HE DID THAT!

Dave - My God- I can't believe my own eyes- Xander has just kicked his skate up into Valentine's FACE, folks- she is down! She is down and holding her face in her hands...I'm seeing trickles of blood- Good lord, she's been cut by that skate blade! This has taken a horrible turn, ladies and gentlemen- What did he DO that for?!

Rick - Danny Dickson is blowing his whistle, and he is all over Xander...

[Tommy Glide's voice, noticeably troubled, booms over the sound system.]

Tommy - Ladies and gentlemen, your winners by forfeit... Ken Jansen and Valentine!

[The crowd boos disgustedly at the announcement.]

Rick - This match IS over, Dave- the skate blades are illegal, and Xander blatantly used his to avoid getting clotheslined into the penalty box. This is NOT how Ken Jansen and Valentine wanted to win tonight... Jansen is kneeling by Valentine, and you can see on his face that he is just worried sick- who knows how badly Val was cut by the blade?

Dave - I think she might have gotten her hands up to block, but maybe not quickly enough- but either way, those blades are like finely hones razors, Rick, and she's been cut open... and if anybody's paying attention over at the rink, we need medical personnel out there ASAP! You talk about your worst-case scenarios- everybody knew there was a larger-than-usual possibility of serious injury in this match- but it seemed most likely that something like this would happen by accident... But by all appearances, Xander did this on PURPOSE! He knew Jansen and Valentine had him beaten, and he knew full well what he was doing!

Rick - Anya has gotten to her feet in the box, and she's seeing the result of Xander's action just now- she's literally shouting in his face- she's just aghast that Xander was responsible for this incident... Xander saying he only did it to keep from losing the match- no remorse in this man at all, Dave.

Dave - The crowd is in a hush... they know things have gone wrong here... Xander's now moving away from the scene- the referee is ordering him to stand by, but Xander just shoves him away... He's picking something up off the ice- oh hell, Rick. He's got the monkey wrench again. Xander returning to the box, where Danny Dickson and Anya are both watching helplessly as Jansen tends to Valentine- she hasn't taken her hands away from her face since she went down- and my God, Rick, there's even blood on the ice...

Rick - Xander's back- pushes Dickson aside- NO! He bashes Jansen across the back of the head with the wrench! What is the reason for this? Jansen dropping on his back- Xander putting his hands on the boards- JESUS CHRIST! He's trying to step on Ken's face with his skate!

Dave - Jansen has his hands up, using whatever strength he has left to push against the bottom of the skate boot- Dickson and Anya tugging on Xander but he's practically possessed- FOR GOD'S SAKE, get in there and STOP this man!! Get security in there- Xander has SNAPPED! He's trying to lacerate another human being's face! And the most despicable thing is, it's the SECOND time in one night!

Rick - I can see arena staff and EMTs entering the rink now, and they're rushing over... But Danny Dickson and Anya have had no success in pulling Xander away from Jansen- OH- Xander elbowing the referee away from him- NO! Jerk of the foot- and Jansen's hands go to his face- I think the skate made contact- I think it cut him...

Dave - I think you're right- there's some blood, he's definitely been slashed open- And officials are only NOW bustling Xander away from the boards so the medical personnel can see to the Jansens... Xander actually cursing at the arena staff as he skates off. And Anya is visibly torn, Rick- she's following him out of the rink, but she’s looking over her shoulder and seems just horrified by what he's done. The crowd is giving him a harsh send-off, too- they're booing him something fierce, and some fans are even hurling garbage at him. But Xander just does not give a damn.

Rick - ...You know, I was going to make a joke about not looking at figure skating the same way again... But it's no joke anymore. That went beyond just being a simple match, Dave. Ken Jansen and Valentine are your winners, but they're not going to be celebrating after this.

[The shot holds on the circle of EMTs crouching by Jansen and Valentine, who are still clutching their wounded faces. Spots of crimson blood stand out starkly on the white ice. We cut back to ringside at the Planet Dome, and Dave Deyo and Rick Richards. Their expressions are sober.]

Dave - I'm, uh, a bit at a loss for words. Sometimes things go too far, ladies and gentlemen, and this match was one of those times. We're certainly hoping that the injuries to Ken Jansen and Valentine aren't as serious as they look... Nobody deserves what Xander has done to them tonight. I can say that Xander will be severely penalized by the front office for this attack. Beyond that... I don't know. I'm just very disturbed by it all.

Rick - You and me both, Dave... You and me both...

Dave - [clears his throat] But the show must go on folks, despite what’s happened, and I can guarantee that you’ll be wanting to stick around for this next one. But first, we're going to take our last commercial break of the night while our ring crew assembles the steel cage for tonight's main event... Don't go away, because when we come back, it’s Logan versus Logan and the Extreme Title IS ON THE LINE!

[We cut to a commercial for the brand-new PW Shockwave game ONLY for PlayStation 2! Featuring all your favorite Planet Wrestling superstars, 273 game modes, an in-depth create-a-wrestler utility, and a fully interactive season mode, PW Shockwave brings all the hard-hitting action of Planet Wrestling right into your living room! Use your arsenal of killer signature moves, not to mention chairs, tables, ladders, kendo sticks, monkey wrenches, Canadian flags, sledgehammers, barbed wire, chains, cages, fire, audience members, 2x4s, forklifts, ring bells, kitchen sinks, baseball bats, pastry, stop signs, garbage cans, fire extinguishers, nunchuks, cattle prods, staplers, paperclips, white-out, official PW stationery, limousines, cookie sheets, leather straps, garter belts, thumbtacks, explosives, brass knuckles, popcorn, mops, microphones, megaphones, telephones, televisions, Intellivisions, shovels, lead pipes -- and much, much more -- to crush your opponents on your way to the top of the mountain! It's all in PW Shockwave, ONLY for PS2!]

[We return to the Planet Dome, where the ring is now surrounded by a 15-foot tall cage of evil, glittering steel. A cluster of wires snakes down from one of the panels and disappears under the apron to the generator hidden there, then out again, leading up to a black control box set up near the broadcast table. Rick Richards and Dave Deyo are peering sideways at the technician testing the controls. Getting the on-air signal, Dave glances at the camera.]

Dave - Welcome back, fans, and as you can see, the stage is set for Zed Logan's Extreme Title defense. And Rick, this could be his biggest challenge to date, as he'll be taking on his own brother, Zack "Blue Thunder" Logan.

Rick - I'll say- Their battles in the past have been nothing short of brutal! But I daresay that once they're shut up inside this massive instrument of destruction, it's going to make those other matches look like pillow fights... There's literally no way out but straight up, to the belt that will be suspended over the ring- and the only way to get there is via a single aluminum ladder. But naturally, the ladder will be used for more than just climbing!

Dave - No doubt about that! Zed knows all about that from his last Extreme Title defense against Sean Swanson, in that wild tables/ladders/inferno/cage match! But this match will be even more dangerous- if that's even possible- because ANY contact with the electrified cage could fry one of those Logan boys like a gigantic fish stick.

Rick - I can't think of a more appropriate match for guys with nicknames like "Blue Thunder" and "Black Thunder", Dave. And judging by the violence we've seen in other matches like this, I have a feeling that this'll definitely be one for the "Don't Try This At Home" file!

Dave - Yeah, along with the rest of tonight's card... Well, officials have slid the ladder into the cage, and Jim Pattera is ready to make the intros- so take it away!

[The shot switches to Pattera, standing within the cage.]

Pattera - Ladies and gentlemen, the following is a ladder match inside an electrified steel cage, and it is for the Planet Wrestling Extreme Title! Introducing first, the challenger...

[Marilyn Manson's "Beautiful People" pounds over the sound system. The booing starts immediately, but there are barely detectable cheers within the noise.]

Pattera - From St. Louis, Missouri... Standing 6'10 1/2" and weighing 342 pounds... ZACK "Blue Thunder" LOGAN!!

[All eyes are on the curtain... but Zack Logan fails to appear. A small murmur of confusion begins to spread throughout the crowd.]

Rick - Well, where is he? Don't tell me he chickened out!

[Suddenly the mutters turn to excited cries, and growing patches of fans rise from their seats, staring toward the ceiling.]

Dave - No! Look up! Waaaay up!

[Dozens of feet overhead, rappeling down from the rafters on a steel cable, is none other than Zack Logan. Camera flashes blink furiously throughout the arena as the "Blue Thunder" makes his spectacular entrance, sneering down at the fans.]

Dave - [Shouting to be heard over the crowd] This is amazing, Rick- I've never seen anything like this!

Rick - Dave, like an angel of death, Zack Logan is descending from the heavens with designs on righteous vindication! But he's not after the firstborn children tonight- he's after his brother, his own flesh and blood!!

Dave - Zack Logan has been lowered into the cage, folks, and the crowd is absolutely hopping in response to this entrance by the "Blue Thunder"!

Rick - This is just the beginning of what I think will be a long and arduous game of "can you top this" tonight!

[Zack's music fades as he shrugs out of his harness.]

Pattera - And his opponent...

[The lights go out. The droning riff of "Iron Man" by Black Sabbath hits, accompanied by a background of rolling thunder, and the fans, already riled up, go ballistic.]

Pattera - From Death Valley, standing 6' 11 1/2" and weighing 335 pounds... He is the reigning Extreme Champion, ZED "Black Thunder" LOGAN!!!!

[Smoke billows out of the entranceway as Zed Logan strides onto the ramp, clutching the Extreme Title. He raises his hands, and with a drop of his arms, fire explodes from the walkway, and the ring posts -- scaring Jim Pattera, but not intimidating Zack. The "Black Thunder" makes his way down the aisle and climbs through the door of the cage, into the ring. The lights come on again and Zed hands his belt to the referee. Jim Pattera scoots out of the cage.]

Dave - Zed Logan has arrived with as flashy an entrance as any, Rick! And he's watching his brother like a hawk as referee Adam Kent hooks the Extreme Title onto the very same steel wire that carried Zack Logan into the arena... Kent is giving the signal to raise the belt, and up it goes!

Rick - And Kent is wasting no time in getting the heck out of there- when this thing starts, the last place he wants to be is inside the cage with those two behemoths!

[Officials lock the cage door and give it a quick test for sturdiness. Satisfied in not seeing it budge, Adam Kent waves to the technician at the generator controls. A flick of a switch, a crackle of moving electrons, and a low hum fills the air.]

Rick - [sarcastic] Love that smell of ozone...

[The bell rings.]

*** Zed "Black Thunder" Logan vs. Zack "Blue Thunder" Logan - Electrified Cage/Ladder Match for the Extreme Title ***

Dave - The cage is now a potentially deadly weapon, Rick.

Rick - Yes, and you'll notice all the ringside crew is standing well away from it... but I think the electrical field is making Adam Kent's hair stand up and take notice.

Dave - Speaking of making you stand up and take notice- did you SEE Zack Logan charge at Zed? He got in a good hard shot to Zed's face, and now he has him by the hair- he's already trying to throw the "Black Thunder" into the cage! NO! No such luck as Zed puts on the brakes- elbowsmash into the ribs of Zack. Zack returns with a forearm to Zed's cheek, then drives his elbow into the back of the neck- again- a third time- a fourth time! And- BIG kneelift to the face of Zed Logan, making the younger of the Logan brothers reel! Zack with a short-arm whip toward the side of the cage- Zed spinning to reverse it- OH! Catches Zack with a clothesline! Zack up- DOWN again with another hard clothesline! Zed leaning down to grab his brother by the hair- pulls him up, and whips HIM into the cage! But Zack dropping to his knees to avoid running into the bars, and he uses the ring ropes to stop his forward momentum.

Rick - That's good thinking on his part. These men are so tall, and so heavy, that running directly into the ropes won't stop them from hitting the cage.

Dave - He certainly saved himself for now, but look at Zed- he's going for the ladder! Zack sees him, and he's on his feet in a flash- runs into Zed with an elbow to the back of the head! Zack hooking him up from behind- belly-to-back suplex takes Zed down! But both back up right away, and Zack lays into him with hard fists- Zed puts an arm up to block- returns with a shot of his own- OH! Zack with a thumb to the eye, putting Zed off the comeback trail. The "Blue Thunder" scoops him up- slams him down hard. Follows up with a legdrop across the chest! Zed getting up again, and Zack immediately hooking him in a front facelock- suplex coming up!

Rick - No, Zed blocks it- counters with a suplex of his own! Zack up like a shot- but Zed with a double-leg pickup, tripping him up- and Zed is all over him with stiff right hands to the face! Can you smell it, Dave? The hatred? The jealousy, the aggression that's gone WAY beyond mere sibling rivalry?

Dave - That's putting it mildly! Zed Logan is dragging his brother off the canvas by the hair- just pounding him with closed fists. And Zack is staggered! "Blue Thunder" backing off a step- but he charges Zed again- OH! Drop toe hold by Zed sends Zack tumbling face-first onto the ladder!

Rick - Zack is down and clutching his jaw in some serious pain! The ladder finally joining the fight, and it hasn't even been set up yet!

Dave - Zed isn't letting an opportunity slip by: he hauls Zack up on his feet, takes him by the arm- WRENCHES it hard- slams his fist into Zack's shoulder for more damage. Zed still with a grip on Zack's arm, backing into the corner... what is he doing?

Rick - He's climbing up to the top- stepping across the top rope like a circus tightrope! This man is SO agile for his size! And watch this clubbing blow from the top- HO!

Dave - JEEZUS! Look at that SPARK! I KNEW that was going to happen! Zack just shoved Zed into the cage- the "Black Thunder" just got a SERIOUS lick of voltage and BOTH men are sent to the mat like two bags of cement! Zed is holding his back and gritting his teeth; Zack is hugging his arm to his chest!

Rick - Zed might've been the one to make contact with the metal, but he was holding onto Zack, and that electricity zipped through Zack too- I don't know if Zack realized it would happen, but he's paid a price to block Zed's move just now!

Dave - Both men getting an early taste of what an electrified cage is all about... I suspect Zed got it worse- he's still on the mat, while Zack is starting to get up, but still holding his arm. The challenger now making his way to the ladder, reaching down for it- trying to use the arm that was zapped, but it's obviously giving him problems, as he's shaking it in an effort to relieve some of the pain. But he's fighting through it- picks up the ladder. Business, as they say, is about to pick up!

Rick - But look- Zed is pushing off the mat! He sees Zack with the ladder, and he's redoubling his effort... up on one knee now!

Dave - Zack turning- hoists the ladder up to smash Zed with it- NO! Zed rolls to the side and avoids it. And Zed Logan springing off the canvas- HUGE forearm to Zack's face, and another, and Zack drops the ladder... Zed stuns him with a kneelift, and now it's the "Black Thunder" picking up the ladder! He swings it at Zack's head- JUST missed, as Zack dropped to the mat to dodge- OOHH! Low blow! Low blow by Zack Logan to his brother! The ladder slips out of Zed's grasp as he folds over, clutching himself... But Zack is up again- moves off, then takes a running start in- heavy axe kick to the back of Zed's neck- driving Zed's face into the cold metal of the ladder! Zed Logan is rolling on the canvas, and Zack now grabbing the ladder again- lifts it up- RAMS the seat down into Zed's midsection! Heaves the ladder up a second time- DOWN into the sternum!

Rick - Now that he's in control, Zack is absolutely not letting up on his brother! But the question we have to ask in this match is whether winning the title will be enough for Zack- or if he won't stop short of leaving Zed in a bloody heap!

Dave - I think we all know the answer to that question already... Zack picking the ladder up AGAIN- and AGAIN, down to the chest! Zed Logan is in serious trouble! Zack now moving off, and he's apparently going to set up the ladder. Zack Logan starting to climb up toward the Extreme Title- virtually unopposed, as Zed is slow to recover... Zack is only a couple of feet away, Rick- we could see a shorter match than we expected! These Extreme matches can be so unpredictable because of their very nature-

Rick - No! Zed Logan is struggling to get up- sees Zack almost to the top of the ladder- OH! Dropkick by the "Black Thunder" to the ladder, knocking it off-balance- and Zack takes a plunge to the canvas below!

Dave - He fell JUST short of the ropes, Rick- a little farther, and he'd have hit the cage! As it is, the seat of the ladder is leaning on the top rope, barely inches from the electrified bars... All things considered, Zack got off easy on that one.

Rick - Close call indeed... But this has given Zed Logan a chance to get his game back. He's moving to grab Zack by the hair, bring him to his feet... And it's a whip into the far corner- and Zack hits the turnbuckles hard!

Dave - But Zack is coming back with a bull charge- OOHH! POWERSLAM- ON THE LADDER!!! Zed caught him and slammed him RIGHT on that leaning ladder! The impact made Zack bounce into the air and onto the back of his NECK!

Rick - And the ladder spun around and dropped on top of Zack! MAN! Zack's been knocked for a loop here!

Dave - Zed now dragging his brother out from under the fallen ladder... takes up Zack's legs- hold on- applies a scorpion deathlock! Zed turns Zack over and sits on his lower back, wrenching back on that hold- he's trying to destroy Zack Logan's vertical base, where all that power resides.

Rick - Not only that, but Zack will also not be able to climb the ladder if his back and his legs are battered up! But I have a feeling that this isn't all strategy- I think there's just as much malice as game plan in this submission hold by Zed Logan. He wants the "Blue Thunder" to suffer!

Dave - Zack scrabbling on the mat, trying to gain some kind of leverage, but he's not going anywhere... Now reaching blindly for Zed's foot, going for the standard counter to this hold- but the enormous proportions of Zed Logan's physique has put his foot JUST out of range of Zack's hand! I don't know if Zack CAN get out of this- if Zed intends to keep him there! And I think the fans want to see him do it!

Crowd - ZED! ZED! ZED! ZED!

Rick - Well, Zack isn't going to lie there and take it, Dave... He's clawing into the canvas, and believe it or not, he's making slow headway toward the ropes. Zack even grasping at the fallen ladder in an effort to crawl over it... He's within just a couple of feet of the bottom rope!

Dave - I think Zed is sensing that he hasn't squeezed the fight out of his brother yet- pulls Zack toward the center of the ring again- but no! Zack has a grip on the rope! He's clinging to it like a lifeline! But unfortunately for the "Blue Thunder", Zed does not have to relinquish the hold until he's good and ready!

Rick - They both know it, and Zed is actually leaning MORE weight down on the back, using Zack's own grasp on the rope to increase the strain. Is he trying to break his brother's spine?

Dave - My guess is, yes! Hold on- Zack pulling himself closer to the ropes- is he going to try scaling them for leverage? NO- he's reaching past the ropes- WHAT IS HE DOING?! OOOHHH!!

Rick - Son of a GUN! Folks, that was an INCREDIBLY dangerous thing Zack just did! I can hardly believe any rational human being would even THINK about pulling a stunt like that!!

Dave - Zack Logan had no way of getting out of the scorpion deathlock- so he grabbed the frickin' CAGE and SHOCKED his way out! Zed was thrown right clear of Zack, and Zed's momentum yanked Zack out of the cage- but Zack is lying with his throat across the bottom rope and his arm hanging down, twitching, just centimeters from the steel grid!

Rick - Was that the BEST way he could think of to escape the hold?! Or the ONLY way?! Whatever it was, he's got to be the most sickeningly masochistic man I've EVER seen in my life! In addition to that, he might've done more harm than good, because I don't see how Zack Logan can continue this match!

Dave - I'm with you there... But how about Zed? He had NO idea what was coming! That must've felt like having a telephone pole rammed right up his spine!

Rick - Amazingly, Zed Logan is stirring... His mind must be in a whirl from the electricity passing through his body, but almost instinctively, he's crawling toward the ladder! This is his big chance, I think, if he can make the most of it! Dave - Zed has a hold of the ladder, and he's tipped it on its side- really using it more as a support to push himself off the canvas. He isn't moving well at all, Rick... But he is indeed getting up, and he's standing the ladder up! And up he goes- slowly but surely!

Rick - But look out- Zack is moving! He is moving, Dave- and he's crawling toward the ladder! He will not quit!

Dave - Zed hasn't seen him though... The "Black Thunder" is halfway up the rungs and closing in on his belt- but Zack has just grabbed the bottom rung, and he's using it to drag himself up. Zack rising- OH! Swings a forearm and connects with the lower back of Zed! Zed kicks his foot down, trying to knock Zack away- HO! Zack Logan with a low blow uppercut that stuns his baby brother! And Zack now positioning himself under Zed- grabs him by the legs- DOWN with a power bomb off the ladder!! Zed has been laid out! And now it's Zack ascending the ladder!

Rick - What a turnaround! We could have a new champ!

Dave - Zack going up, up, up- but he glances down, and he sees Zed trying to sit up- Zack pushes off the ladder! DRIVES his elbow DOWN into the chest of Zed Logan!! What IMPACT! He put a stop to any thoughts Zed might've had about making a comeback just now! And Zack getting right back up- he collapses the ladder, brings it into the corner... climbs up the turnbuckles- sits on the ladder- RIDES the damn thing down and SQUASHES Zed with it!! JESUS MURPHY!

Rick - Zed is rolled up in a ball on the mat, Dave, and he's hacking like his lungs have been crushed- and for all we know, they might very well have been! I wouldn't be surprised if he has a few cracked ribs after that!

Dave - Zack not wasting any time in setting the ladder up again- But believe it or not Zed IS MOVING! And he's just grabbed Zack's ankle before he could begin climbing the ladder! Zack can't believe Zed is still putting up a fight- he's actually stomping away at Zed's head, his back, his arm, everything within reach! Zack now leaning down and hauling Zed up by the hair- SLAMS his fist into Zed's back- over and over, and Zed Logan's face is screwed up in agony! Zack grabs him around the neck in a sleeperhold- really pressing those thick muscles into the carotid arteries to block the flow of blood to the brain- and as if that wasn't enough, Zack is actually wrenching back and forth with his arms, as if to break Zed's neck!

Rick - It may come to that, Dave- if Zed won't give up, Zack may well have to cripple him! And somehow, I think Zack would enjoy that very much!

Dave - Zed is practically out on his feet here, but he's flailing with elbows, desperate to find a way out... One elbow connects- Zack wrenches harder! But Zed gets in another good elbow to the ribs- and a third- Zack not holding on so tightly now- Zed reaching up now for Zack's head- OH! STUNNER! WHAT a counter! That's separated the two, and Zed is sucking in air now... Zack is down, holding his jaw- but he's not out yet! Zack trying to get to his feet- Zed grabs him- OOHH! DDT! Rick - The "Black Thunder" is back up, and he has a look of extreme determination on that mug of his! He goes for the ladder- he's going up!

Dave - But Zack Logan, SOMEHOW, will not stay down! He's dragging himself to the ladder as well- Zack groggily starting to climb up the other side of it- Rick, BOTH Logan brothers are ascending the ladder at the same time!

Rick - It's a race, Dave, with the Extreme Title as the ultimate prize! Both of these men are showing some serious intestinal fortitude tonight!

Dave - Zed is at the top first- he grabs for the belt- but Zack is there too now and he knocks Zed's arm away- fires off a punch to the jaw of Zed Logan! Zed returns with a stiff right to the chin! Zack with a forearm- BLOCKED by Zed- Zed cocking his fist- SMASHES him in the nose! And Zack losing his grip- Another shot by Zed and Zack topples ten feet to the canvas below!! Zed pausing to catch his breath... He reaches for the belt again! It's in his hand!

Rick - NO! Zack is up! He shoves on the ladder! OOOHHH!!

Dave - For the love of GOD!! He pushed the ladder over- and Zed flew RIGHT into the electrified cage!! It looked like a dozen fingers of electricity grabbed the "Black Thunder" and threw him to the mat! It sounded like a storm cloud just cracked right in front of us!

Rick - I think the arena lights flickered just now- Can you IMAGINE the excruciating pain Zed Logan must be in right now?! He is lying on the canvas, twitching like an epileptic! How much more of this can he TAKE?!

Dave - Rick, I think we've just seen the end of Zed Logan as we knew him! In fact, NEITHER of these men is likely to be the same when this is over... This has been like one long electrotherapy session! And to think- Zed WANTED this match!

Rick - He had to know the risks, Dave- There's nothing BUT high risk when you're essentially wrestling inside a giant bug zapper. But it's looking extraordinarily bad for Zed right now, as Zack is on his feet and looking mighty proud of himself!

Dave - Zack Logan standing over his prostrate brother's body, and this scum of a man is actually doing a dance, flailing his limbs in a despicable mockery of Zed's agony! He must think he has this match in the bag, because he's wasting valuable time here...

Rick - Well, he's picking up the fallen ladder now, and setting it up... Hold it, he's moving it to the corner. Why doesn't he stand it up underneath the title?

Dave - I don't know... But as he climbs up the ladder, he's looking over his shoulder, as if judging the distance- oh- Rick, he's got evil intentions here! He's at the top, and his head and shoulders are well above the top of the cage- one last look behind him and- MOONSAULT! HOLY CRAP! TEN FEET DOWN- SQUARE onto Zed Logan!! Good GOD, that's close to 350 pounds CRASHING onto the ribcage of the Extreme Champion!

Rick - You think about the amount of beef that just flew through the air, Dave... Zack Logan wasn't built to fly, but every time he comes to the ring, he manages to cheat the laws of aerodynamics! I mean, just pushing off the ladder put it in a spin- you can see it now, collapsed and tipped against the cage.

Dave - You're right, and Zack, now back on his feet, sees it too... And this is going to present a problem for him, because he can't use it to reach the belt when it has over 200 volts of electricity flowing through it!

Rick - Do you think he'll chance touching it with his bare hands to knock it away from the cage?

Dave - I doubt he wants to do that to himself again! But he's at a bit of an impasse here, no question... Uh-oh, I think I saw a light click on over his head. He's turning to look at Zed- you don't need much imagination to figure out what he has in mind! Zack with a fistful of Zed's long black mane... Lifts him off the canvas with some effort- he's like dead weight-

Rick - Hopefully not in a literal sense!

Dave - Zed can barely stand up, and I'm not sure he's even conscious at this point... But Zack has him by the arm- set up for a whip, and he's aiming right for that ladder!

Rick - I don't think I can watch this! I've seen too many horrors tonight already!

Dave - The whip- NO! Zed had his hand hooked on the top rope! Zack can't move him! But by God, is he mad! Zack with a shot to Zed's face, and another whip- blocked again! HO! Zack RAMS his knee into Zed's midsection, and the "Black Thunder" is staggered... A third whip sends Zed directly at the ladder! OH! Zed puts on the brakes- reverses the whip and tosses ZACK! But Zack with some frantic footwork- hits the ropes JUST beside the ladder and drops down to avoid contact with the cage! Zack slowly standing up again and heaving one big sigh of relief here, as he's just saved himself-

Rick - LOOK OUT FOR ZED!

Dave - Zed rushes with a big boot to Zack's face!! And ZACK HITS THE LADDER!! MOTHER OF GOD! A burst of electricity- Zack reeling, his eyes bulging, his back arching as every muscle along his spine contracts at once! The ladder flies away from the cage and falls to the mat! WHAT an attack by Zed Logan!

Rick - Zack is quivering on his feet, Dave- his jaw is clenched so tightly it looks like his teeth might pop out! And here comes Zed!

Dave - Zed clamps a big hand around his brother's neck- grabs him by his waistband- lifts him- CHOKESLAM! OOOHHH! ON TOP OF THE LADDER! Good LORD! Zack has been DECIMATED! Zed is staring down at his handiwork, and sees that, Yes, it is good!

Rick - This could be the chance Zed has been waiting for- to climb the ladder and retrieve his belt!

Dave - He's kicking Zack off the fallen ladder with his boot, and now standing it up in the middle of the ring... Right over top of Zack! This is almost symbolic- Zed Logan is rising above his brother's level and out of his shadow, for good! Zed Logan is breathing raggedly, but climbing steadily, Rick- fighting through his pain like a true champion! He's halfway to the gold already!

Rick - Hold the phone, Dave, because Zack has decided he doesn't want to be a symbol- he's actually crawling out from under the ladder, and reaching for the rungs! Zack is going to make this a fight right to the end!

Dave - Zed hasn't seen him; he's too focused on the title dangling a mere couple of feet over his head... But meanwhile, Zack has found some kind of inner reserve to tap into, and he's quickening his pace- he might beat Zed there! This is INCREDIBLE, especially after the physical trauma he went through just moments ago! We have Zed grabbing the top of the ladder for support as he scales the last few rungs- but Zack is there too! Zed fires a hard right- Zack with a right hand of his own- Zack with another shot and Zed is starting to slip!! Zack now climbing up another rung and reaching for the belt- his hand is grazing the leather, Rick- he's going to take this one home!

Rick - NO! Zed getting his balance back- he throws a forearm that catches Zack under the chin! Zack is stunned- Zed taking him by the ears- HO! CRACKS Zack's forehead down against the top of the ladder! Zack's eyes are starting to cross here!

Dave - Zed grabs him- front facelock applied- WHAT IS HE- OOOHHH!! UN-FRICKIN-BELIEVABLE!! THUNDERSHOCK off the TOP OF THE LADDER! Zed Logan just DRILLED Zack TEN FEET DOWN with his signature finishing move! The ENTIRE RING just BOUNCED from that KILLER move! And Zack Logan IS OUT!

Rick - Zed going right up the ladder again- halfway up- three-quarters of the way up- Go, Zed, go!! There’s no WAY Zack can stop him! there’s NO WAY! Zed Logan almost there.....

Dave - He's on top- grabs the belt- yanks it off the cable! He has it!! Zed Logan has won the match!!

[The bell rings, and the fans are going retarded as Zed slips back down the ladder wearily, clutching the Extreme Title to his chest.]

Jim Pattera - Your winner... and STILL Planet Wrestling Extreme Champion... ZED "Black Thunder" LOGAN!

["Iron Man" blasts through the arena and the fans give a deafening cheer. Adam Kent is instructing the technician at ringside to shut down the generator.]

Dave - What a WILD match, Rick- The Logans gave it their all tonight, and Zed has emerged the winner and retained his title! He had to overcome not one, not two, but THREE encounters with the electrified cage, plus the powerful offense of his brother- but in the end, victory is his!

Rick - You're not kidding! Zed is stepping past Zack on his way to the door, and looking down at him- whether out of hatred, or respect, or WHATever- and he must be thinking about what he's accomplished tonight... He's defeated his brother one-on-one- One hell of a triumph in one hell of a match!

Dave - Indeed! And as he exits the cage and puts his arms in the air, he's enjoying a well-deserved standing ovation from this crowd! And Kevin Peterson on his way to the ring now- raising Zed’s hand and pointing at this incredible, deserving champion, folks! We’re out of time for tonight ladies and gentlemen- don’t forget to tune in for Throttle: it’s going to be huge! Goodnight!

[The shot cuts to copyright information and credits.]

*** Credits ***
Xander/ Anya vs. Crippler/ Esquire: Matt (Drunkaholic’s handler)
Sine/ Cosine/ Tangent vs. Destroyer: Rob Michaud
Morgan/ Seldeenia vs. Swanson/ Jansen: Ken Hildebrand
AngelKillers vs. Hardcore Hoods: Nick Corvello
Rudos/ Drunk vs. Michaels/ Peterson: Rob Michaud
Xander attack on Valentine: Ken Hildebrand
Icon vs. Bombinator: Bob Rhoades
Paine vs. Drunk (Falls Count Anywhere): Rob Michaud
Xander/ Anya vs. Jansen/ Valentine (Stars on Ice): Ken Hildebrand
Logan vs. Logan (Extreme Championship): Ken Hildebrand
Card Production and Editing: Rob Michaud