Hello, fans, welcome to another edition of "The Ride". Once again, I'm "The Corvette" Nick Corvello. Boy, it was a great week. We just came off of a great PPV, with many successful title defenses, and a forfeited one. Also, 20 or so men fought it out in the "Battle For The Crown" Battle Royal, and coming out on top is one of the "unfortunate four", "The Heartbeat Of Canada" Ken Jansen. Speaking of him, he was my guest on "The Ride, and like always, I interviewed him. This is how it went:

"The Corvette": Well, Ken, first, I'd like to say its a pleasure having you for this interview.

KJ: I'm sure it is, Nick. After all, you *are* talking to the 2000 King of Planet Wrestling.

"The Corvette": Allright. Now, first of all, how do you feel having gone through nineteen other men, and at the next PPV face the World Champion?

KJ: Right now I feel like the losing side of a car accident. But I'll tell you, I've never felt better. It's very gratifying to know that eighteen men and one woman had to go home tasting bitter defeat at the hands of the greatest technical and endurance wrestler in the world. As for my upcoming title match at the next PPV, all I can say is that it's been a long time in coming, and I predict that there will be a brand new World Heavyweight Champion when all is said and done.

"The Corvette": Hmm... anyway, since I'm still fairly new in Planet Wrestling, I wanted to know, did you win any other PW titles before becoming the 2000 Battle For The Crown winner?

KJ: No I haven't. But I couldn't care less about the lower-tier titles; they're not even worth the bother for a top-class competitor like myself. God knows I've paid my dues, and Ken Jansen is not going to satisfied with anything less than the best. So I walked into Planet Wrestling with only one goal: to win the PW World Heavyweight Championship. It'll make a nice addition to my growing collection of World Titles.

"The Corvette": That’s interesting. But on a different topic, how do you feel about your wife, Valentine?

KJ: That's a pretty stupid question. How do you think I feel about her? She and I are a team in everything we do. I stand behind her, and she stands behind me.

"The Corvette": Now, I understand that she wants to be a wrestler. When did she decide that?

KJ: Correction, pal: She doesn't *want* to be a wrestler, she *is* a wrestler. Do you do your homework before these interviews? Check our bio, Corvello. She has several years' experience in the ring. Valentine first decided to join the wrestling world back in university, when she saw other women training in the Jansen family's promotion in Winnipeg. She's competitive by nature, so it was only natural for her to want to become a wrestler too.

"The Corvette": Did you ever think that she wanted to be a wrestler because she was tired of being the only reason you win matches? KJ: WHAT?! Are you blind or are you stupid? Every one of my victories is the result of my raw talent. Valentine has her part to play, but I win because I'm just that good! You want to argue about that?

"The Corvette": Well, I am entitled to my own opinion. This is America, isn't........ oh wait, you're from CANADA, so you wouldn't understand.

(Ken Jansen gives a pissed off look)

KJ: Let's just get this f---ing interview over with!

"The Corvette": (mumbling)Good, it'll save me the trouble of me kicking your @$$. (not mumbling) Ok, so you have skill, but not as much as mine. Anyway, who's training Valentine?

KJ: I am. She's been out of practice for some time, and she couldn't have a better trainer than the soon-to-be World Heavyweight Champion.

"The Corvette": Fair enough. But now, here's a pretty obvious question, why didn't you compete in the match for the right to call yourself "The Canadian Champ"?

KJ: There was a much more important match that night, in case you forgot. I certainly didn't need to waste my time and energy competing in that silly ladder match.

"The Corvette": But you're "The Heartbeat Of Canada". Why didn't you try to live up to your name?

KJ: Listen, Corvello, I bust my tail every time I step in the ring. My legacy speaks for itself. I don't need to beat the Canadian Crippler and Sean Swanson to prove that I'm the best Canadian wrestler in Planet Wrestling! As far as I'm concerned, Crippler can go on calling himself the "Canadian Champion" all he likes.

"The Corvette": So basically you're not "The Heartbeat Of Canada"

KJ: You know, I am *this* close to dropping you on your face. Don't push me, punk.

"The Corvette": Normally, I would kick your @$$ at this point, but I amnot allowed to attack anyone employed in the PW, so you have it easy.

KJ:(mumbling) I can't believe this guy has a job.

"The Corvette": Ok, to wrap up this interview, I'm gonna list some names, and you say the first thing that comes in your mind for each one. Ready?

KJ: Just get it over with, Corvello.

"The Corvette": Allright, first, a man you have seemed to form an alliance with, The Canadian Crippler

KJ: A rabid animal. I'm glad he's on our side.

"The Corvette": Next, the man who he had his match with, Sean Swanson?

KJ: A pimple that needs popping.

"The Corvette": next, a man who stayed for a while, Rudy Rudos

KJ: Tough. A guy to watch out for if he ever gets his s--- together.

"The Corvette": Next, two members of TSK, "Hellraiser" Dave Carson and "Livewire" Gil Crowley.

KJ: Jackasses. And way overrated.

"The Corvette": Zed "Black Thunder" Logan

KJ: The man's a machine. But I guess right now it's machines that are keeping him alive, huh? (Laughs)

"The Corvette": The man who lost his world title shot at Battle For The Crown, Kristoph Kahn?

KJ: Psychopath. I hope he had some sense shocked into him from the cage match.

"The Corvette": Now, for the World Champion, Smokin John Hayes

KJ: A very dangerous man, no question. But I can beat him. Count on it.

"The Corvette": and Finally, the best columnist, and only one, in PW history, The Corvette of wrestling, Me!

KJ: Well... since there's only one wrestling columnist in PW, I guess that makes you the best by default. I hope that makes your day a little brighter.

"The Corvette": Well, despite our problems, it was a pleasure having you here.

KJ: Then the pleasure's all yours, Corvello. I think I can honestly say I'm a worse person after talking to you.

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