Welcome to the first edtion of "The Ride". Most of you don't know me, so I'll introduce myself- I'm Planet Wrestling's new columnist extraordinare, "The Corvette" Nick Corvello. For all you readers out there, sorry for the first interview, but they wouldn't let me interview the big boys yet... so it will be a short wait. Now, I had a recent interview with "Obese" Hank Albert. This is how it went:

"The Corvette": Well, Hank, I see that you are........Obese. Can you please tell me why you are?

Albert: It's a way of living, man. When I was a kid, I realised that I was an obese man trapped in a fat kid's body. I ate my vegetables, my steak, drank my milk and ate some more, and I started growing, you know... 200 pounds... 300... that's when I knew that the sky was the limit. I was growing up faster than the other kids, and by the time I was out of junior high, I was tipping the scales at an impressive near 400 pounds. In high school, I joined the wrestling team and won 1st place trophy after first place trophy: there wasn't NOBODY able to even touch my weight class, man. When I graduated, I hit the road with a southern state promo and flattened a buch o' white boys.

"The Corvette": Ok, now I've been meaning to ask you, what has it been like to lose alot? I have rarely lost a match in my Wrestling Career, so I don't know what it is like.

Albert: Look here you puny punk! I don't need a piece 'o trash like you sassin' me! Big Hank's won TONS o' matches in other feds badder than this one! Once I pick up my momentum here, there won't be no stoppin' me!

"The Corvette": Did you win any titles in your career?

Albert: Titles? Who needs 'em? I can't even wrap those damn straps around wy waist! I ain't INTERESTED in no pieces o' tin, man: I'm here to steamroll men into the mat.

"The Corvette": Well, I suppose this topic is boring anyway. Next Topic:Do you have any current feuds with any PW wrestler here?

Albert: Feuds? Boy, you ain't seen NUTHIN' yet!...

"The Corvette": I have one more question about your obesity. WHAT THE HELL DID YOU EAT TO MAKE YOU THAT FAT?!

Albert: You'd better watch your mouth and look who you're talking to, 'Vette. Being as big as I am isn't something to joke at: it's a way of life, and the way to the TOP. There rest of these worthless scrawny pukes in this fed make me sick! All eating thier health foods and high carb diets so they can be flexing their muscles and lifting thier weights. That's a load o' BULL, man! Benchpressin' 300 and 400 pounds for a few rep? Try carrying around nearly 600 pounds each and every SECOND of you life! You want strength? Power? You got it all right here, baby. I eat anything I can get my hands on, and that's all the trainin' this body needs.

"The Corvette": So any plans for your future, or are you just gonna sit on your fat ass and watch TV the rest of your life? No offense.

Albert: HEY! I only watch TV while I train, toothpick man! You just wait a while and you'll see Big Hank eatin' his opponents for BREAKFAST! As a matt o' fact, I'm gettin' outta here right now, and after the Battle for the Crown, you'll be seeing a bigger, badder Hank Albet than EVER before!

[Hank stormed off at this point.]

"The Corvette": Well, it was.......... interesting to talk with the fattest man in wrestling.

We're just getting started up here with "The Ride", so keep reading to find out more about all of your favorite, and most-hated PW stars.

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