Don`t know if this is true
Answers Given On 'Family Fortunes'
A pre-med student from the University of Arizona was looking to score big
with his date on a Friday night. Determined to put the girl in the mood,
he drove her up to a spot on Mount Lemmon which overlooked the city of Tucson.
They walked to an open knoll where they could see the city lights.
Overcome by the romantic locale, she succumbed to his pleas and they stripped down,
made a bed of their clothes, and passionately began making love.
The heavy storm clouds rolling overhead and the low rumble of thunder
inside them excited the lovers even more. At the first few flashes of
lightning, they never looked up to see the charred remains of once great
trees. Their idyllic clearing was a hotbed of electrical activity during
the warm desert nights. With a blinding light, a bolt of lightning struck
the high point on the knoll, which happened to be the pre-med student's
ass, and sought the path of least resistance --- straight down!
Incredibly, he survived, but was in excruciating pain.
The heat of the lightning had fused together flesh and latex so that the
lovers were now stuck together like a pair of dogs. The girl,
unfortunately, did NOT survive the lightning strike! When the student
looked down into the vacant eyes of his girlfriend and realized she was
dead, his immediate repulsion caused him to jerk away from her, which of
course, he couldn't! A wave of pain and nausea made him vomit into the
girl's face and open mouth! Heaving only caused more pain
he repeatedly vomited until he finally passed out.
Attracted by the smell of "food," a bear found its way to the Siamese
lovers and began to lick semi digested pizza and buffalo wings from the
dead girl's face. The student came to, but when he saw the bear, there
was little he could do but lay there silently in fear.
To his horror, the bear became dissatisfied with just a lick and started to eat the girl, loudly
crunching her facial bones only inches from his ear.
The bear also tasted the student,
scraping the back of his skull with its teeth, before moving on.
Around mid-morning a group of junior girl scouts, up for a fun weekend
camp out, arrived at the campsite where the pre-med student's car was
parked. It was only a matter of minutes before three screaming girls
discovered the student, who had regained consciousness several times in the
night and had managed to drag himself and the partially eaten girl about 20 feet.
Doctors managed to "successfully" separate the student from the corpse, but
Mr. Happy looked like a small piece of cauliflower in its flaccid state.
The first hint of arousal resulted in so much pain, that the student was
unable and unwilling to achieve an erection.
Future surgeries may produce a reasonably functioning penis, but the
student's family jewels, referred to by the doctors as the "scrotum mass,"
are irreparable.
