THIS is a cracker.

KILLER BISCUITS WANTED FOR ATTEMPTED MURDER
 the actual AP headline)
 Lisa Burnett, 23, a resident of San Diego, was visiting her in-laws,
 and
 while there went to a nearby supermarket to pick up some groceries.
 Several people noticed her sitting in her car with the windows rolledup
 and with her eyes closed, with both hands behind the back of her head.
 One customer who had been at the store for a while became
 concerned and walked over to the car. He noticed that Lisa's eyes
 were now
 open, and she looked very strange.
 He asked her if she was okay, and Lisa replied that she'd been
 shot in the back of the head, and had been holding her brains in for
 over
 an hour.
 The man called the paramedics, who broke into the car because the doors
 were locked and Lisa refused to remove her hands from her head. Whenthey
 finally got in, they found that Lisa had a wad of bread dough on theback
 of her head.  A Pillsbury biscuit canister had exploded from the heat,
 making a loud noise that sounded like a gunshot, and the wad of doughhit
 her in the back of her head. When she reached back to find out what it
 was, she felt the dough and thought it was her brains. She initially
 passed out, but quickly recovered and tried to hold her brains in for
 over
 an hour until someone noticed and came to her aid.
 
 And, yes, Lisa is a blonde.

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