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Sing to "The Beverly Hillbillies" tune |
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���� [HyperPumper (c)1999] |
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Listen to a story 'bout a teen named Jed,
Youngest in his class, barely kept his famly fed,
Then one day he heard hot rumors,
Said, "they pay big bucks to wall street traders..." |
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 MILLIONAIRE NEXT DOOR: THE SURPRISING SECRETS OF AMERICA'S WEALTHY |
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Wallstreet, that is... Maria Bartiromo...
� First thing ya know, Jed earned his M-B-A.
Harvard folk said "Jed, move away from here!"
Said... "NewYorkCity is the place ya oughta be",
So he packed up his bucks and moved to Silcon Alley... |
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 GRAHAM AND DODD'S SECURITY ANALYSIS |
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� Loft, that is... motsa ball soup ....� |
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His first day at Goldman they stuck him in a cube
With CNBC tickers which kept blinking cross the tube.
"Love stocks not chicks, Jed, monday your picks are due.
So instead of 40 hours, ya better work 92...."� |
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All weekend, that is...meals online ...� |
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 STOCKS FOR THE LONG RUN; THE DEFINITIVE GUIDE TO FINANCIAL MARKET RETURNS AND LONG-TERM INVESTMENT S |
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Weekends turned into months, sky was turning gray.
Jed crunch spreadsheets while DELL slipped away.
Hoping to reap riches and escape years of chore,
Jed owned A-O-L since nineteen ninety four.... |
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Cheap, that is ... rock bottom.� |
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Weekends rolled by, his portfolio bliss'n dips.
After missing Netscape IPO Jed got pissed!
He called up his broker, astutely picked a fix.
Answer was obvious: "Buy Yahoo! in '96!...."� |
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 ROARING 2000S INVESTOR: STRATEGIES FOR THE LIFE YOU WANT |
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� 100 bagger, that is ... stock of the decade!� |
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Next thing ya know, ol' Jed's a millionaire.
Kinfolk said "Jed, rich guys need more flair."
Advised, "HyperPumper is who you are, you see",
So HyperPumper it was.� And always it will be....� |
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HyperPumper, that is ... the famed and only...�� |
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HyperPumper hyped as DoubleClick IPO'ed.
HyperPumper dived in and kept it as a hold.
Loved the bizness model, grateful for the tip,
Hyper talked it down, and bought more at each dip. |
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 RICH DAD, POOR DAD: WHAT THE RICH TEACH THEIR KIDS ABOUT MONEY--THAT THE POOR AND MIDDLE CLASS DO NO |
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Only 8 dollars in Oct 98, that is... !�
� Money does buy bliss, fun and so much more.
Yup, HyperPumper shags New York's finest whores.
Frequent sex with supermodels is never bore or chore,
Believe what Hyper tells ya: its better'n folklore. |
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 ONLINE INVESTING: HOW TO FIND THE RIGHT STOCKS AT THE RIGHT TIME |
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It feels so good, how can it be wrong?� |
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One thing to another, Hyper meets Pussy.
Pussy gave Pumper some P-P-O-D.
Told "HyperPumper, future's in groceries!"
But PPlod plopped---no margin in deliveries.... |
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Refinancing, that is ... heavy heavy losses...� |
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� Moral of the story is listen what you're told,
"Get wid the flow and bid 'net I-P-Os.
Take out lotsa margins, give yerself some clout,
Lev on B-2-B, watch them all break out.� |
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 NEW NEW THING |
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New Economy, that is, ... NEW NEW thing.� |
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"Millions to Billions, you'll get rich fer sure.
Only nineteen years and Hyper's forever secure.
Hold but never fold, wealth is for the bold,
Don't doubt HyperPumper!� His advice is gold! |
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Graham and Dodd, that is, ... invest.� |
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 BUFFETT: THE MAKING OF AN AMERICAN CAPITALIST: THE MAKING OF AN AMERICAN CAPITALIST |
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"Warren E. Buffet, Pumper do you hear?
Hyper loves Abby Jo' cuz no fear she's a bear.
No doubting the Internet, as gold it's as pure,
Differ Warren Buffet?� Just why are you so sure? ......" |
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Ya answer HyperPumper now, ya hear!�� |
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