Well Hell

 

Rewritten

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter 1

 

I suppose its best to start at the start here. With Ranger’s daughter coming to live with us. I wasn’t happy about it, hell no. But she is his daughter and its his house so what can I say? Its not that I don’t like Emily, I do. It’s just that she a spoilt brat and a holy terror to boot. Her mother couldn’t handle her anymore. Her mother didn’t want to. So it was up to Ranger to take over the whole parental guidance thing.

 

I had met Emily a few times, when I went to Florida with Ranger a few times and she was a genuinely nice girl. Of course she had been 10 or 11 at the time and puberty hadn’t set in. But when it did, boy oh boy, she went wild. I told Ranger it was a hereditary thing and he just scowled at me. All he could do was sit back and listen with growing alarm from a few thousand miles away. Eventually her mother had had enough and told her to pack up her stuff because she was going to live with her father. Ranger was happy with this. He didn’t ask me what I thought. I wasn’t happy with it. Rex and Bob were all the kids I ever needed. But as per usual, Ranger didn’t think he needed and knew he didn’t really want my input into any of the decisions that impacted on my life.

 

            I walked up the stairs to my apartment looking forward to a hot shower, and hot pizza and if I could wrangle the time a hot Ranger. Instead I walked into an empty apartment. Empty that is except for a note sitting in the middle of the living room floor.

 

‘Babe, your stuff is at my place. You’ve moved in.’

 

He hadn’t signed it. Ranger often walked in and just took over. I didn’t mind it most of the time, indeed, most of the time it was well worth letting go of all control of the situation. But this, this was a bit much. We had talked about moving in together, and agreed it would probably happen eventually. I guess he had gotten sick of me stalling. I wasn’t sure what the best way for me to react would be. I locked up behind me a left, driving directly to Ranger’s apartment. If I was going to be living there, there would be no more of these ‘dodge and avoid’ tactics that had been drilled into me from the first time I found out where he lived. A girl, especially a girl like me, needed a few basics in life. One of these basics included family and friends knowing her address.

 

I let myself into his, our apartment and looked around at my few meagre possessions. My cd’s were stacked with his, my pictures were sitting and hanging with his, Rex was spinning in his wheel on his table near the balcony window. Nice view for a hamster, 20 floors up. My other bits and pieces were scattered around, a cushion here, a chair there. It was interesting to see just how our tastes in furnishings melded together. I walked into the kitchen, the only thing of mine I could find in there was my ‘Lil Miss Sunshine’ glass. Fair enough really, Ranger had a fully stocked kitchen. But it pissed me off that I hadn’t been giving the chance to decide what I got to keep and what got thrown away. I stalked from the kitchen to the bathroom. I had things in Ranger’s bathroom for a while now, tampons, toothbrush and toothpaste, shampoo and conditioner, makeup, hairdryer, hairspray, hair-jell, mousse, just the basics, now there was three boxes stacked on the floor just waiting to be sorted through.

 

From the bathroom I went into the empty room that Ranger used as an office, finding that it now had my bed in it along with his bookshelves and desk. Continuing on to the master bedroom, I found most of my clothes were hanging in the cupboard, all mixed up and on the wrong type of hanger. My underwear were sitting on the middle of the bed for all the world to see and there were boxes and bags all over the place. Ranger was no where to found so I stomped into the kitchen to use the phone and found a note hanging on the fridge.

 

‘Got called away, will probably be late. There’s pizza in the fridge if you want it. Love you.’

 

Again he hadn’t signed it, and I was really learning to hate notes. I opened the fridge and found a Pino’s pizza with extra cheese. I pulled it out, had a slice and took off to Mary Lou’s for the night. Damn if I was going to stay here without him.

 

But here I was waiting at the airport with Tank for a fully-grown kid with a rebellious side. Now its not that I couldn’t relate, I could. Mostly it was just that I wanted Ranger to myself. Now I was going to have to share.

 

Emily was gorgeous, she has the same skin colour as Ranger, and she had the same black hair and big smile. Normally. What came though the gate didn’t look like her at all. Her hair was a riot of colours, she had three facial piercing's from what I could see, her clothes were a hodgepodge of designer labels and op shop. And still she was gorgeous. I hated her. She had a Discman on and was carrying a laptop. This kid, I might add, had a bigger allowance than I made working some weeks. In my opinion it was Ranger’s way of showing he loved her. Can’t be there to show it, buy it. He had a terrible way of thinking he could buy his way out of anything.

 

Tank and I got weak hugs, the earphones stayed on. Until I pulled them off her head. She scowled, exactly like her father, but didn’t say a word. I wondered if she was going to ask about Ranger, if she was curious as to where he was. I watched her as she avoided my eyes. Eventually Tank gave us both a push towards baggage claim.

 

Tank was getting Emily’s bags and we stood back as she pointed them out. Eventually she turned to me. “So where’s my Dad?”

 

“He’s at home waiting for you.”

 

“Well if he’s not working why isn’t he here?” She looked at me accusingly.

 

“He hurt his knee yesterday. He didn’t want to come here on crutches.”

 

She looked kind of alarmed, guess she thought he was infallible. I used to too. “What happened?”

 

“He tripped and twisted his knee is all. In a few days he’ll be fine.” Well it was something like that.

 

            Ranger had his arm around my neck. We were both bent over backwards, sweating, gasping and it was in no way a sexual thing. Sure we were both half naked and his groin was pressed up against me from behind. But he was gasping from the elbow I had not long ago rammed into his solar plexus and I was gasping because his arm was cutting off my oxygen. I got a good grip on his arm that was around my throat and moved my left foot into position. I stamped my right foot on his and when he moved to step away I caught him off balance, bending my knees I straightened and using my momentum flipped him over my shoulder. Standard self-defense. What happened next wasn’t exactly standard. He flicked his leg out at me trying to take me down to the mats with him, and I struck out hard and fast, not pulling the kick and we heard a slight pop.

 

He rolled strangling a cry, onto his side holding his leg. I was still standing looking down. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.”

 

Ranger was right, ‘fuck’, summed it up nicely. Ranger’s knee was off centre to the rest of his leg. It was already coming up a nice purplish green colour. I would have been more worried if Ranger wasn’t swearing. When he really gets hurt, he doesn’t swear, just lies their and goes white.

 

“Sorry, I’ll go call Tank.” I strolled off and calmly called Tank. I grabbed some ice and a towel. When I did damage, it was never minimal.

 

The ride home was quiet, Emily had put her earphones back on and I had been happy not having to entertain her. Tank drove along in his zone. I had long ago gotten used to these guys driving like this. We pulled into the parking garage and dragged Emily’s stuff to the elevator. A few minutes later I punched in the code and left the luggage for Tank to pull in after us. Emily followed me along looking for Ranger, we found him in the kitchen eating yoghurt. He gave Emily a big smile and held his arms for a hug.

 

He pulled her earphones off. “Hey baby, how are you? Was the flight ok?”

 

“It was ok Daddy.”

 

“You tired? Hungry?”

 

“I’m good. I just need a shower.”

 

“Sure.” Ranger reached for his crutches. I pulled them out of reach.

 

“Sit. Stay. Good boy.” Ranger was scowling at me but Emily was smiling. I smiled back “Come on I’ll show you your room.”

 

We walked the length of the penthouse apartment. Ranger and I had been living here for over a year after the other apartment got too small for the both of us. I opened her door and saw Tank had put the bags in there already. “You’ve got a bathroom connected through there, I’ll leave you to it. If you need anything give me yell.”

 

“Where do you and Dad sleep?”

 

“We’re on the other side of the place.” She looked thoughtfully at me and smiled.

 

“Ok, see you in a bit.”

 

I mentally rolled my eyes. Did she really think she’d be getting away with it?

 

Chapter 2

 

“God Dad, you’re such a control freak.” This was the first thing I heard after dragging in the results of our shopping expedition. And she opened the fridge and pulled out juice. I quickly handed her a glass and pushed her out of the kitchen. Ranger was lost for words but he wouldn’t be for long. Emily opened her mouth to say something, but one look at her fathers face had her scuttling out the door in a hurry. Ranger’s mouth opened and closed like a fish out of water. I was slowly backing away, thinking of running when he snapped back to it. “Don’t even think of it.”

 

I sighed and slumped onto a breakfast barstool. Ranger was pacing. He thumped his fists in front of me on the breakfast bar. I didn’t jump. Ranger had been like this a few times before. Sometimes I absolutely infuriated him, sometimes it was best to ignore him, and sometimes it was best avoid him. Sometimes, like now, it was best to sit and listen, or at least pretend to listen. Ranger was ranting away and I was thinking of the perfect shoes to go with the dress I had brought today when Ranger suddenly yelled, “Are you even listening?”

 

I jumped this time. I had no idea what he had been talking about. So I started to prattle, hoping to distract him, he was going to have a coronary if he didn’t reduce his stress levels.

 

“I brought this dress today, lime green, short, it comes up to here.” I turned and ran my hands across the top of my thighs and up to my butt. I turned again running my hand up my body.

 

“Its got spaghetti straps.” I used a finger to show how the dress dropped from the straps across my breasts and what cleavage I could work up. “It falls down here like this. Now I'm not sure, but I cant decide on sandals or heels. Maybe both.”

 

Ranger’s eyes were dark and he was fighting with himself to stay mad at me. We’ve been down this road before. One of the better things about this relationship is that the sex wasn’t just good, it was phenomenal. We used sex to bribe each other constantly. Some people might think it’s a bad thing, it wasn’t, it was great. Somehow things always got worked out between us.

 

Ranger shook his head and closed his eyes. This wasn’t going to work. I needed more firepower. I pulled the dress out of the bag and held it up in front of me. He opened his eyes again and his shoulders dropped. I gave him a smile I knew he thought was sexy. “So, heels or sandals?”

 

“Neither, no dress either. I like you naked.” He growled and pulled me to him. He held me hard against him and kissed me harder. He pushed me up against the fridge and pulled me so I could wrap my legs around him. He pushed against me and the fridge rocked back. Ranger carried me into the bedroom.

 

When Emily had first moved in, Ranger had been concerned about us having sex in the middle of the day. Personally I thought us having sex at night would be riskier. She was going to sneak out one of these nights and we wouldn’t hear it. As it turned out though, Emily was perfectly behaved, she didn’t try to sneak out, she hadn’t tried to drink any of the alcohol in the house, she hadn’t skipped a single class and she was polite to the teachers. I didn’t understand it at all.

 

As it was she had made some comment the other day about having to sooth the savage beast. Ranger looked at her shocked and then he laughed. He obviously didn’t realise that she wasn’t a virgin, he knew she wasn’t an innocent, but he still thought of her as the proper little lady saving herself for marriage. Hunh, what the hell did he know about marriage? His first one was a mess and he hadn’t even asked me to marry him. My mother hadn’t been pleased, still wasn’t. Grandma Mazure had loved the fact that we were living in sin. She had once told me she would have gotten him if I hadn’t. I didn’t believe her, but Ranger sure had been sweet with her.

 

vvvvv

 

Two days after that event Ranger and I went out to do a take down on a guy who was being a pain in the ass by not turning up in public much. Tonight though he was scheduled to make an appearance at a friend’s party. I was, as per usual, a distraction. We were going out to dinner before hand, but were called before we had the chance to get seated at the restaurant. Emily was staying home to do her homework. Ranger had asked her this morning if she wanted to come and she had told us she had an essay due. I didn’t think it was fair, she had only been in the school for a little over a week.

 

As it was the take down was a bust, the guy had caught on and I caught a punch to the stomach. I didn’t much feel like eating but Ranger picked up a pizza on the way home so if I felt like it I could have some later. The first thing we noticed as we pulled into the parking garage were two kids making out near the elevator. Ranger looked over at me and smiled a slow sensual smile. We had been in that same place and state a few times.

 

“So, you ever done it in an elevator before?” Ranger had me pinned against the wall while we were waiting for the elevator after swiping the card for the penthouse level, 30 floors up. One hand was slowly undoing the buttons on my jeans, while his other hand was tangled in my hair. His mouth was attacking my neck.

 

“Yep.” His head jerked back, eyes blinking with surprise and maybe a little jealousy.

 

“You have?” I nodded. The doors opened and we stepped into the lift. I swiped the card and stepped up to him.

 

“But not with you.” I rocked against him and his eyes melted to liquid black.

 

“Not with me.” He ripped my shirt out of my jeans and roughly pushed them out of the way before slowly stroking his finger against my clit. I felt my eyes roll up in my head at the delicious pressure of his finger just before he slid one up inside me. He pulled out and slid a second one in, his thumb working my clit while another pressed at my anus but didn’t actually enter it.

 

He lifted me higher, and bit down on my breast through shirt and bra. I came, cum dribbling slowly down his fingers and hand. He pulled away and stood me on wobbly legs. I felt drugged, my vision blurry, muscles shaking. He stuck the two fingers he had used in me into his mouth and made a sound at the taste. He pulled my jeans down to my feet as far as they would go without taking off my boots. He pulled my t-shirt over my head and through it in a corner. Next his pants went to his knees and with a bit of a stumble he had both his legs between mine. Lifting me to wrap my legs around him.

 

 Ranger slid into me fast and a little roughly. After just coming, I was very wet and it roughness felt fantastic. As we both rocketed to the top of the building in the lift, pressure was building inside of me and an orgasm tore through me again. Ranger was still pounding away inside of me when the doors dinged open, he kicked my shirt into the private lobby and we fell to the ground. Ranger came with a cry and Tank, Mark and Mike came rushing out of the penthouse. My embarrassment was compounded when I came again right after they all saw us on the floor.

 

We got off the elevator and heard a thumping sound coming through the walls and door. I had a flash back to riding with Lula just the other day, she had been playing the same song. Well hell. Looks like Emily had pulled a fast one on us. Actually as I thought about it, it was a good plan, this take down was supposed to take most all night.

 

Ranger was stiff with anger beside me, his fingers itching to pull his gun. His hand drifted to his back and I held his arm. “Not a good idea lover. This place is likely to be full of kids.”

 

His fist clenched and he stiffened some more. “Can I have your guns please?”

 

Ranger looked at me and slowly handed over the gun from his shoulder holster. I was thinking that if the kids in the garage were to be any indicator, Emily was probably inside making out with some cute little kid and if Ranger saw it he was going to go nuts. We’d been out on a take down and I knew he had other guns on his person because I’d watched him get dressed. I pulled the gun from the back of his pants and held my hand out for the ankle-holstered gun. He bent and retrieved it. I didn’t bother asking for the knives. That done I placed them both in my pocket book and punched in the code to unlock the door.

 

There were no kids from what I could see. Just loud pounding music coming from the entertainment centre. I walked straight through the house to Emily’s bedroom and opened the door with out knocking. The music stopped and a half naked half drunk Emily sat up fast. I smiled humourlessly.

 

“We’re home. Get dressed and I’ll distract your father in the kitchen for 5 minutes. You have that long to get him out.” I looked at the topless boy on top of Emily. He was cute.

 

I went to find Ranger and found him in the kitchen. “Did you ask Em if she wanted any pizza?”

 

I shook my head, “You stay here and I’ll go do it now.”

 

I found Emily walking carefully around the furniture in the main living space. “Your father sent me to ask if you want some pizza…”

 

“Yeah! I’m starving.” She interrupted. I grabbed her by the shoulders and stooped to look into her eyes. “No. You’re not, you’re tired and you’re in bed almost asleep. If your father sees you like this, you’ll never see the light of day again.”

 

I shook her gently and gave her a shove towards her room. She giggled, “yeah, you’re problybe right.”

 

She was slurring her words slightly, seeming to be getting drunker as we talked. I realised then she wasn’t drunk, she had had some kind of drug. I swore. “What have you taken?”

 

She giggled some more and fell to the lounge. I called out to Ranger. He came into the living room smiling at Emily’s laughter. Yeah, I thought, real fucking funny. He wouldn’t be smiling soon. I looked him in the eyes. “She’s taken something and won’t tell me what.”

 

The humour drained abruptly out of his eyes and he stiffened. Calmly at first and then louder as he got angrier. “Em? Emily? What have you taken? What? Emily!”

 

I watched as Emily’s face went from happy to scared. Hell I’d be scared if Ranger were standing over me yelling like that too. I pulled Ranger by the arm and pushed him into the chair nearby. It took all the strength I had, and it wouldn’t have worked if I hadn’t surprised him. I held up my hand to make him stay. Emily was curled up in a ball on the couch crying and shaking. I went over to her and wrapped my arms around her. She snuggled in and continued crying but stopped shaking.

 

Ranger was rubbing his face and looked exhausted. He looked how I felt and I realised we had both been waiting for this moment. For the first time Emily played up. I smiled weakly at him as I rubbed Emily’s back as her crying slowed to hiccups. Quietly I asked again, “Em, what have you taken?”

 

 She sat up and pushed me away, suddenly aggressive. “It was just an E! Christ, what do you care? As long as you’re fucking my father, right? You don’t have any say in my fucking life! I’m old enough to do what the fuck I want when the fuck I want!”

 

She stood and made a dash for the door. Ranger hit the emergency lock on his keys. The door couldn’t be opened until he hit it again. She turned on Ranger. “Open the door.”

 

“No.” calm and reasonable now. Ranger looked back to his normal inscrutable self. Emily started screaming and started to throw things. When she picked up the photo frame with the picture of Grandma Mazure and me. I stood up.

 

“If you throw that frame. I sware to god you’re going to wish you’d never been born.” My voice started loud but calmed as I got angrier. This little shit was going to wish she’d never met me soon. She was about this close to having me kick her ass. She looked at me though her anger and slammed the frame back down. She was lucky that the glass didn’t break. That picture had been a present from Ranger one year after Grandma Mazure had died.

 

Ranger spoke up. “Go to your room Emily.”

 

She laughed. “You’re angry at me? You, who had done more drugs at my age then I have in my whole life? You can’t say a damn thing to me. I fucking hate you!” And she burst into tears and ran to her room, slamming the door behind her.

 

I went and picked up the picture of Grandma Mazure and me. I brushed my fingers over her face and teared up. Even now over three years after she had died, it still upset the hell out of me. Ranger came up behind me and put the frame down. He picked me up and carried me off to bed. He held me like he had held me when she died. I had come to the conclusion that Ranger took as much comfort from holding me as I did from having me hold him. I fell asleep listening to him breathe.

 

It was hard to breathe.  I hung up on Valerie and hit the speed dial for Ranger’s cell. He answered on the second ring.

 

“Ranger…” I was in shock. I knew it, but it didn’t lessen the effect it was having on me any. My hearing was fading in and out.

 

“Babe… What’s…are you… Steph… Hudson street… Where…”

 

“Ranger? Home…” I was finding hard to breathe, someone had sucked all the oxygen out of the room. My head was being squeezed like a vice and my heart had exploded not a minute after I had answered the phone call from my sister.

 

I dropped the phone and everything from there on in became a little hazy. Ranger came running in and found me huddled in a ball in the sunlight streaming through the balcony window. I must have switched off the air-conditioning, he told me, it had easily been over a hundred in the apartment when he arrived, but I was shivering, cold and clammy to touch. But I hadn’t been crying. It took me two days of not sleeping, talking, eating or moving to cry. After that, it was all to easy to cry.

 

Chapter 3

 

I woke the next morning with Ranger mumbling in his sleep.

 

            “Ranger,” I gave him a little shove. “Ranger, shut up.”

He was talking in his sleep and it had woke me up. I looked at the clock, barely 4am. I gave Ranger another shove. He thrashed around and I pressed against his chest and raised my voice.

 

“Ranger!” I gave him a good hard wack to the shoulder and found myself flying. I soon found myself hitting the wall. “Fuck!”

 

Ranger woke. “What? What is it? What are you doing over there?”

 

“You just threw me out of the bed!” Disbelieve and anger was evident in my voice.

 

“I did not. Did I?” Even through the dark of the room I knew he could feel my death stare. He came across the room and picked me up. “You ok?”

 

I rolled my shoulders and did a brief rollcall of my bits. “Nothing broken.”

 

He kissed me then and pulled away. “I had this dream there was someone come into the room and they were pushing me around.”

 

“That was me, trying to get you to shut up. You were sleep talking.”

 

“Oh.” He kissed me again. “Ready to come back to bed Babe?”

 

His hand was worming its way into my boxers. I was tired, aching and more than ready for bed. But I let him has his way with me anyway. I always felt better after he had.

 

I didn’t push or shove at him, but he woke up anyway. He pulled me to him and buried his face in my neck. I ran my fingers up and down his spine. “She really is out of control isn’t she?”

 

“Not yet, she’s not at the level she was in Miami, but she’s getting there.”

 

Ranger groaned and snuggled in some more. “What am I supposed to do?”

 

“You’re asking me? You’re her father, you’ve been in this situation before. You’ve got first hand experience of this.” What the hell did I know? Compared to these two I had been positively an angel at Emily’s age.

 

“Yeah and I had been uncontrollable, it wasn’t until I hit jail that I modified my behaviour.” He sighed and flopped over on to his back “I’m going to call the guys. See what they have to say.”

 

I didn’t know what to tell him. I gave him a hug and got out of bed and hopped into the shower. I washed and did my hair and used a minimum of makeup. I found Ranger eating breakfast with Emily in the kitchen. The air was heavy with silence. I looked at Ranger, his face was closed and drawn. Emily’s face was sullen and pouty. I was guessing Daddy and daughter had had words. I grabbed a pop tart and shoved it in the toaster and left the room. I came back to hear Emily complaining about being sick.

 

Ranger looked at her. “You’re sick because you’re coming down off your trip. Drink lots of water. You’re going to school.”

 

Emily slammed her dishes into the dishwasher. She stomped off and Ranger slumped. I gave him a kiss and Emily came back in the room and sat to stare at Ranger. I nearly groaned. There was no chance in hell that staring at him was going to change his mind. “Come on, I’ll drive you to school. I’ve go to the office, but I’ll be back after that.”

 

She glared at me and grabbed her bag. Ranger hit the lock and the door alarm beeped. We left quietly and rode the elevator in silence. We climbed into a bronco and I took off with a squeal of tires. We passed Tank, Bobby and Lester at the admin gate to the building and I gave them a little finger wave. Lester snapped off his seat belt and rubbed his bum against the window in the back seat. I laughed, how could I not? Lester was a clown. Thankfully he had his pants up, Lester had a real hairy ass.

 

“So this is where you live huh? Interesting.” Tank and I had been on a stake out and were to meet up with Ranger here at his and Lester’s apartment. I was snooping around, and found Lester just drying off after a shower. The door had been wide open or I’d have not gone in. I stood there, shocked, I had been listen to conversations between the guys before and I had figured Lester had a big dick, or a really small one and they were just paying him out. But my imagination was nothing compared to what it actually was.

 

Lester smiled at me, catching my gaze. “Like what you see?”

 

Actually it kind of scared me, how the hell did he fuck anyone with a cock that big? “Turn around and show me the rest of it.”

 

He laughed and did a slow turn letting me take in the full picture. “Jesus you’ve got a hairy arse.”

 

I had to comment on something, anything other than the size of his cock. He spun trying to look at his butt. “You ever think about getting that thing waxed?”

 

He looked at me with puppy eyes and a sly grin. I guess no one really paid much attention to his arse when his cock was out there for all to see.

 

I dropped Emily off in front of the school and watched until she entered the building. It was something Ranger insisted on. Though this morning I would have done it anyway. I headed off to the office to hand in my body receipt for my last skip and see if there were any new scumbags for me to collect. Lula was lying on the couch and Connie was on the phone when I entered.

 

“Hey girlfriend! What’s up? Didn’t you get none last night?” I groaned, what’s with Lula and her obsession with my sex life? I had thought that after I’d moved in with Ranger she would have lost interest, but no. Her interest had intensified. 

 

“Don’t even talk to me about last night. I flopped on the couch next to her. Connie hung up the phone and turned her attention to us. “So Ranger isn’t going to be bringing in the receipt for Pinkerly?”

 

“Nope.” I got up and put my receipt on her desk. “Can you write me a check for Smith? I’ve got a meeting this morning.”

 

“It had better be in bed with that fine man of yours.” Lula had a one-track mind. Usually mine ran the same wavelength. Not today though. Today I had other things on my mind.

 

I mumbled an incoherent answer and left the office with two skips. I drove back to the apartment and punched the code in. the red light flashed. Fuck. I punched the code again and the red light flashed again. I pounded on the door. A few minutes later Ranger opened the door, gun in hand. He rolled his eyes and yelled, “Lester!”

 

We heard muffled laughter from the living room and I made tracks. I bodily hurtled at Lester knocking him off his feet. We went down in a pile of legs and arms. It took me a bit but I finally got him pinned. I was playing dirty and he was going gentle on me due to the fact that if I got hurt Ranger would hurt him. I called Bob and Lester started to struggle. He was strong, but I had a lean on his pressure points. Self defence classes with Tank and Ranger had taught me a few tricks. Bob came bounding in and just before he started to lick Lester, Ranger picked me up and threw me around his shoulder fireman style. It was no fair. I never got to play.

 

Ranger sat me on my feet and pulled me onto his lap as everyone got settled into their seats again. Ranger closed his eyes and sighed. He opened his eyes and focused his attention on my hands. He started to explain the situation with Emily. The phone rang and I got up to answer it.

 

“Hello?… Yes?… Right… She’s not in class?… When was the last anyone saw her?… Ok, thank you… Yes… No, I’ll take care of it… Thank you… Goodbye.” I went back to the living room.

 

“Who was it babe?” I grimaced. I hate being the barer of bad news.

 

“It was Emily’s school. She skipped out this morning during her first period. Had an argument with the teacher and she upped and left. The school hasn’t seen her since.”

 

Ranger swore. “Ok, we’re going out looking for her. Call everyone on your list and cancel for the day. Move out.”

 

“Whoa! We need a plan, we have to divide up the place. Someone needs to talk to her friends. Tank, you go to the school and talk to the admin, teacher and Emily’s friends. Lester, you take down town. Ranger you stay here in case she comes home. I’ll take the mall and the strip.” I turned to Ranger, “Sound ok?”

 

“Sounds fine, but I’m not staying here. I have to do something.”

 

“You will be doing something, you’re going to be our base. Someone has to stay here and I say its you because I’ve seen you in a temper before. You can’t handle this with her. You need to calm down first.” I gave him a quick kiss on the lips. “You know we can handle this. We’ll be back soon.”

 

Ranger sat slumped in the chair while I walked out the door and joined the guys at the elevator. Tank looked at me. “Was it really that bad?”

 

“Ranger is the master of understating. It was worse.” Tank grimaced. The rest of the ride down was made in silence. We all got off in the garage and headed for black broncos. “If you find her, call me before you call Ranger. Please. And if she doesn’t want to stay still, cuff her. Or at least follow her.”

 

The guys nodded and we all climbed in to the broncos. The search was beginning.

 

Chapter 4

 

I hadn’t expected the guys to actually call me before they called Ranger. He was their friend first, and their boss. I was just a sidekick. That’s probably why I was so surprised when I had finished searching the strip and was heading to the mall and Tank called.

 

“Yo.”

 

“Hey, a friend by the name of Lettie Brown said that Emily was going to head over to the mall to do some shopping and then head over to her boyfriends.”

 

“She has a boyfriend?”

 

“Yeah, she has a few. This guys name is… Marconi…” there was a pause while Tank checked his notes. “Benny Marconi.”

 

Fuck, Benny Marconi was Joe Morelli’s nephew. Joe’s sister Christina had married Jonnie Marconi right out of high school. If I remembered correctly Benny was the eldest boy. Great Emily was dating a Morrelli. Joe and I hadn’t had much to do with each other after we broke up all those years ago. We gradually returned to casual acquaintances. In other words we said hello when we passed in the streets. Joe had gone deep cover a year or so ago and no one, not even Mama Morrelli had heard from him since. I suspected that his superior got reports often enough to know he wasn’t dead but other than that no one knew a thing.

 

“Ok, I know where he lives, I’m going to check the mall. Put a team on at the Marconi house and call Ranger. Then get your ass down here to the mall. Make sure Ranger stays at home though. He can’t come down here.” I paused for breath and Tank started.

 

“Sure, I could probably do most of that, but Ranger will want to know the news and I’ll have to tell him what her friend said and then he’ll be out the door. How do I get him to stay home?”

 

I was at the mall entrance. “Black mail him. Tell him I’ll be pissed off if he doesn’t follow orders. Let him know what’s going on and tell him I’ve got it covered and you’re on the way.” I went for the fly ball. “Tell him that if he leaves the apartment and comes down here I’m going to… I don’t know make something up. Make sure he stays at home.”

 

I snapped the phone closed and dropped it into my pocket book. I went through the mall systematically. From bottom to top, into the stores she liked and merely glancing in those Emily wasn’t fussed on. My greatest fear was that she would pass me by while I was checking out the dressing rooms. Eventually I was on the top floor losing hope when my phone rang. It was Ranger.

 

“Hey lover.”

 

“Babe, have you found her yet?” Ranger sounded stressed.

 

“I’m still at the mall looking.” I answered calmly hoping I didn’t sound as helpless as I felt. There was a commotion a few stores down. I put my hand over my ear to hear Ranger better. “What news from the team at Marconi’s?”

 

“Nothing doing.” I heard a yell and turned to see Carl and Big Dog leading Emily in cuffs out of the commotion ahead of me. Fuck! I thought rapidly.

 

“Ranger, I’ve just seen her. Let me call you back in 10 or 15 minutes ok?” He didn’t answer. “Ok Ranger?”

 

“Ok, but if you don’t…” I snapped the phone closed and went to intercept Carl and Big Dog. Carl grinned at me.

 

“Hey hey Steph. You married yet? Or are you still living in sin?” it was a constant joke with Carl and Eddie that I was unmarried and living with Ranger. I gave a weak smile and Emily frowned at me. “You know I’ll always marry you, just so you don’t go to hell and all.”

 

I smiled bigger at that. I had made communion with Carl, among other things. “I’m glad to see you still have my best interests at heart Carl. Can we talk a min?”

 

Emily was positively glaring now. Carl and I stepped to the side. I was aware of Emily glaring at my back and Big Dog looking at my ass. “We’ve got a problem Carl. That girl you’ve got there is Emily. Emily Manoso.”

 

Carl’s eyebrow shot to his hairline in shock. He looked over at Emily and back at me, then back at Emily again. “You sure Steph, she was stealing. If she were Rangers kid she wouldn’t need to steal. Though she kind of does look like him if you ignore the facial jewellery and hair. And if she’s Ranger kid, why isn’t she in school?”

 

“She was in school. She is his kid. You can’t arrest her. You remember what it was like last time Ranger was in the station?” Carl grimaced.

 

“Ranger, I’ve been arrested. Come get me.”

 

“What did you do?” I could hear the laughter in his voice. I was a constant source of amusment.

 

“I got busted B&E. But it was legit, I sware to God. I thought Miller was in there.”

 

“Was it Miller’s house?”

 

“Yes.”

 

Ranger arrived down at the station not long after I hung up. I could hear him from the holding cell yelling at whoever was dumb enough to get in his way and Carl and Big Dog who had arrested me. I was fuming, more than Ranger probably, Carl was one of my oldest friends, what the fuck had he been thinking when he arrested me?

 

They brought me out into the main office just to shut Ranger up, or so I was told. I was sat down still in cuffs. Ranger went ballistic threatening law suits and bad publicity if they didn’t take the cuffs off and drop all the charges.

 

Big Dog was just standing out of the way looking me up and down, not in a creepy way, just in a ‘you look good’ kind of way. Unfortunately Ranger saw it and his jealousy streak came the fore. I watched calmly as Ranger grabbed Big Dog by the lapels of his uniform and shove him into a wall. I knew Ranger wasn’t going to do anything stupid like actually hit Big Dog, he was in a police station after all. Carl looked at me as if to say, ‘pull your pit dog off’. I held up my still cuffed hands.

 

He unlocked me and I put a hand to Ranger. He flicked a look at me and shoved Big dog once more inot the wall when letting go. “C’mon.”

 

We both walked out and were just about in the car when Carl came running out after us. Turns out it had all been a set up. Lula and Connie were planning a surprise party for me at the office and had asked Carl to arrest me. They had thought I’d call Ranger, but going to plan he wouldn’t answer. After that I’d call Vinnie to come bail me out and he would then take me back to the office where I could meet Ranger and ‘Surprise’.

 

The only thing is it had all gone wrong when Ranger hadn’t turned up at the office earlier that day to pick up a file. They hadn’t been able to get in contact with him before it all went down.

 

I had been arrested for break and enter. I had been in the place legitimately and as it turns out it had been a set up by Lula and a few others to have me held at the police station until my surprise birthday party had been set up at the office. Lula hadn’t told Ranger this because he had this thing where he couldn’t stand keeping me in the dark on anything at that point. Ranger had come down to the police station threatening lawsuits and various bodily harm to Big Dog who had kept looking at my ass. I was used to it, but Ranger didn’t like it. Ranger was very possessive at times.

 

“Shit.” Carl rubbed his eyes. “We’ll need to work out something with the shop owner. He would have been happy to let her off if she had paid and apologised. She refused to say anything aside from saying she had no money.”

 

“If I go pay now would he drop the charges?”

 

“Probably, he’s more interested in making money than in going to court.”

 

I thought about it. “She’s doing this for attention. It’s her version of poor little rich girl. Can you talk to the store owner while I call Ranger?”

 

“Sure.” Carl stepped into the store while I called Ranger. He answered on the first ring.

 

“Yo, Babe?”

 

“Hey, I’m with her now, she’s been arrested for stealing. Refused to apologise or pay. The shop owner was willing to let her go if she did that. I’m thinking we let her get arrested. Carl and Big Dog are the arresting officers so I can get them to set it up so it wont be on her permanent record, just so she spends some time in a cell. What do you think?”

 

“I dunno babe, I don’t want my daughter in a cell. They aren’t the nicest place in the world.”

 

I tried a different track. “You told me that the thing that turned you away from drugs was the night you spent in a cell with the junkie. Maybe we can get lucky and get her in a cell with a junkie. Probably that wont be so hard. Maybe the same thing will happen to her that happened to you.”

 

“I don’t know, but I can’t think of anything else. Can you handle this or do you want me to?” he sounded reluctant, like he wanted nothing to do with any of it.

 

“I’ll handle it, call the team off Marconi’s house. I’ll be home soon. I’m really hungry cook me something for dinner yeah?”

 

I heard a smile, “Sure babe. Hurry home.”

 

I snapped the phone closed and motioned Carl back over. “Can we have her put in a cell with out having the actual charges against her?”

 

Carl looked at me strange. “I suppose I could pull it off, but why?”

 

I explained with minimum details what was happening. Carl’s eyes were wide by the time I finished. “We need it to look like were doing all we can. Lie if you have to but I want her in over night. Put her in with a junkie if you can. Can you do that for me?”

 

“Anything for you Steph.” He glanced at Emily and I saw Tank hurrying along the pathway towards us. Carl turned back to me. “Who’d have thought Ranger had a kid. A grown up kid with an attitude problem at that. Actually, the more I think about it the more I can believe the attitude problem.”

 

I flicked a finger towards Tank and said to Carl, “Give me a call when it’s all settled ok? Shows on champ.”

 

He smiled and nodded. We walked back over to Emily and Big Dog. Tank joined us. “I’m sorry Steph, the shop owner would have accepted an apology and payment but its too late now, we have to run her in and charge her. You can post bail tomorrow if you like.”

 

Tank had been about to say something about posting bail now but I gave him a look that shut him up. I turned to Carl again. “Does she have to stay over night though? C’mon Carl, you know me. You know Ranger. We can look after her for the night and bring her back in the morning.”

 

“I’m real sorry Steph, but I can only do so much you know. I can promise a relatively private cell for the night, but I can’t release her into your custody until tomorrow morning. You know the rules.”

 

I did and I knew he was lying though his teeth. Emily was starting to look uncertain and a little scared. I’m sure she had thought that Ranger’s clout would be able to get her out of it. “Damn it Carl! Please? As a favour to me?”

 

“I’m sorry Steph, but my hands are tied. If she had just apologised and paid it would have been fine, but its to late now. As soon as she left the stores premises it was too late.” He pulled Emily to her feet. “Lets go.”

 

I gave Emily a quick hug. She was looking small and scared. “Sorry Em, your dad has his lawyer working on it already. We’ll be there in the morning to get you ok?”

 

She gave a small nod and Carl and Big Dog left with her dragging her feet between them, head down. Tank turned to me as we left via the closest exit so he could drop me off at my car down the other end of the strip off the mall.

 

“I suppose that Ranger knows about this.”

 

“Yep.”

 

“What was with the overnight shit? We could have followed them down there now and posted bail. What’s going on?”

 

“I convinced Carl to put Emily in a cell with a junkie for the night. The charges will be wiped of her record if I go and pay for it now. It took a bit of convincing but Ranger eventually agreed that maybe she’ll open her eyes a little.”

 

Tank thought about it for a bit and nodded his head. He dropped me at my car. There was a great big key scratch up on side of it.

 

“Damn.” I looked back at Tank. “Can you follow me to Al’s and then give me a lift home?”

 

He smiled. “Sure.”

 

Half an hour later I was home again eating Ranger’s homemade chicken fajitas. Mmmm, heavenly.

 

Chapter 5

 

After I finished the fajitas I crawled into Ranger’s lap in one of the oversized chairs in the living room. I picked up the phone, turned up the volume and called the station. The switchboard plugged me through to Carl.

 

“Hows it going?”

 

“She’s a noisy thing.”

 

“Why? What’s going on?”

 

“She wont eat the food, she wont share a cell, she wont this, and she wont that.”

 

“She’s just being a pain in the ass?”

 

“Yeah. Now I can see Ranger in her.” I laughed and Ranger scowled at me having been listening. I gave him a ‘what’ look. I’m so innocent.

 

“So everything is going alright otherwise?”

 

“Yeah, I’ve explained it to the people whom it concerns and I’ve got her in with Jackie, you remember Lula’s old partner. We told her to give her the horror stories.”

 

“Does she know Emily is ours?”

 

“No, I didn’t think she needed to know that.” Not that it mattered much anyway, by tomorrow the whole of New Jersey and then some will know Ranger has a daughter. And not a nice one at that.

 

“Who’s on duty tonight?”

 

“Brian Simon. You wanna talk to him?”

 

“Nope, just tell him to call if anything happens.”

 

“Alright, what time are you coming to pick her up?”

 

“Is Eddie still working the day shift?”

 

“Umm…” There were a few clicks of a computer keyboard. “Yep.”

 

“Alright, we’ll be in around 9ish.”

 

“Ok, later Steph.”

 

I hit the end button on the phone and snuggled into Rangers arms. “You called her ‘ours’.”

 

I shrugged, “I guess she is. Not like we can give her back or anything.” No matter how much I wanted to at times, I added in my head. I know Ranger loves her, and in my own way I guess I did too. But more than that I just wanted Ranger to myself. Ranger and I had been through a lot. More than I thought possible. We had actually broken up a few times. He had an explosive anger, never directed at me physically but he liked to throw things at the walls. Something else he had in common with Emily.

 

We were arguing. Yelling at each other, all because I’d been arguing with Joe. Ranger was taking it to mean I wasn’t over him. Ranger didn’t know that Joe had been running him down, running me down, running Us down.

 

 I was pissed off because Ranger was being a stubborn ass and refusing to listen to the whole story. We’d been together for about eight months and we were at that point where it was either stick it out or forget about it. Ranger was pissing me off sufficiently enough that I was leaning more to the’ forget about it’ side than the stick it out side.

 

All it took to push me over was the line, ‘you think you want me, but all you want is a replacement fuck’. I kicked him out and didn’t see him for three days.

 

When I saw him next he had let himself into my apartment dressed in a long duster with nothing underneath except a small tattoo of an ‘S’ on his hip. Kind of idiotic, but sexy at the same time. We made up in record time.  

 

“Earth to Steph.” I snapped out of my memory and looked up into his eyes. He was smiling down at me looking a little lecherous. I tried to ignore it. He started to touch me. Just little flicks and strokes on every ticklish and erogenous zone on my body. I got so worked up that I almost bucked out of his arms when he picked me up and carried me into the bedroom.

 

vvvvv

 

Ranger was up the next morning at about 530am. He had shaken me awake, my reply was something along the lines of ‘fuck off’. Not real polite but neither was waking me at 530 when I had only gotten to sleep at about 3am. Ranger had fallen to sleep pretty much immediately after we had gotten into bed around 10ish, though we were in the bedroom earlier than that. After I kicked out at him he didn’t try again.

 

He came back in and physically pulled me out of bed at 803am. I figured that this was ok, cause we had to go pick up Emily and all, but really, he put me into a cold shower. So I decided that I was going to be mad at him for the rest of the day. I stomped around, growling at him and ignoring him where I could. I called the station and talked to Eddie. Emily was impatiently waiting for us. She had had a major fight with Jackie in the middle of the night, no punches thrown but Simon’s and Neely had been placing bets.

 

I was standing at the door, waiting for Ranger to come and hit his magic button so we could go, when he came up and pushed me into the wall. Holding me there with his left hand against my neck, pushing my head back. He used his right hand to undo my jeans and push them down to my thighs. He cupped his hand over my pelvic bone and worked his magic fingers on me. Suddenly I was gasping, him being the only thing holding me upright. He used his thumb to pull my bottom lip down and open my mouth to his tongue. I could feel all that delicious heat start to centre when he pulled away and stilled his fingers.

 

“Are you going to get over your bad mood?” I thought about it. This was a real dilemma. Stay mad all day with Ranger or get an orgasm now? With the way we were standing, we were at eye level. I looked at him.

 

“Ok, I’m sorry.” I licked my lips and waited for him to finish what he started. He nodded and pulled away completely. Now this was wrong. “What are you doing? Finish this!”

 

I gestured at my body. He smiled and leaned against the opposite wall. “You can finish it. Make it fast though. We’ve got to get to the station.”

 

Again I faced a dilemma. I really wanted an orgasm now. I could do it myself, Ranger got really turned on watching me. The questing was now, if I did finish it, would he throw me over his shoulder and take me to the bedroom? Or would we head down to the station the pick up Emily? I was betting on the latter. Damn! I yanked my jeans back up and came. It was so unsuspected and so powerful that I almost fell over. Ranger caught me and started to strip my jeans off.

 

“What are you doing?” I asked holding onto his shoulders as he pulled my boots off.

 

“I’m framing these.”

 

“What?” I was going to start to laugh soon. “Why?”

 

He looked up, his eyes dark and flashing. I grinned. He pulled them off and gave me a slap on the ass. “Put another pair of jeans on.”

 

And a pair of underwear while I was at it. Sometimes I liked to spend the day with no underwear. I liked the effect it had on Ranger. At the beginning of the day I would put a pair of underwear somewhere on his person. Knowing that he’d find them sometime during the day would turn me on. Him knowing that I had no underwear on all day made him come home incredibly horny. It always had the nicest effect.

 

I pulled on some new underwear and jeans. I had no idea what I would be doing and underwear seemed like the way to go. I came back out and sat in the hallway pulling my boots back on. Ranger was on the phone but soon hung up. I finished lacing my boots and Ranger hit the magic button and we were on our way to the station.

 

Chapter 6

 

Emily was sitting at Eddie’s desk in the station house waiting for us when we came in. To say she was sullen was an understatement. Her eyes were red and droopy. Her hair was a mess, if you could tell the difference and she had three big pimples on her chin. Eww. She was fidgety and scratching at her head. I looked over at Ranger and he glared at me. He was still pissed off because I had been laughing about the whole family having been in jail now. We had stopped so Ranger could drop my jeans off into a framing centre. I really had no idea what to say to that. Ranger was weird. He had come out and I had started to tease. He hadn’t been amused, especially when I started to tease him about his track record with girls. His ex-wife had been in jail, so had his sister, his mother and me. Now it was his daughter. When he had told me to shut the fuck up I decided to cut my losses and give up while I was still intact.

 

Eddie started speaking and I missed some of it looking around the room. It was quiet and that was unusual. Usually they were all yelling things at me, about me, to me. Probably they were quiet because I had Ranger with me today. Although, there weren’t actually many cops in here and those that were here were working or at least pretending. I smirked. Chickens. I turned to listen to Eddie. “…She used Jackie’s pillow. Not much we could have done.”

 

Ranger stood refusing to look at Emily. I turned to Eddie. “What?”

 

“Emily has head lice.”

 

“Oh.” Was that all? I suppose Ranger hadn’t had much to do with kids, but surely he had heard of them. “Are we free to go? Can we take Emily home now?”

 

Suddenly there was some yelling and some banging and the Precinct Captain came out of his office. “Plum! Get your ass in here now!”

 

Sometimes I liked it that Captain Trowleski treated me like a cop, it meant I got privileges few other bounty hunters did. Other times, like now, it just plain pissed me off. The door slammed behind him and Eddie flinched. Hmm, interesting.

 

“I’ll be right back. Sign the forms and stuff.” Ranger nodded still not looking at Emily while she sat and scratched at her head. I looked at her. “Scratching will just make it worse.”

 

She frowned and made a conscious effort to stop scratching. By the time I was at Trowleski’s door she was scratching again. We’d have to get her some shampoo stuff on the way home to de-flea her. I grinned, Flea-girl. I knocked and opened the door to the Captains office. Captain Jimmy Trowleski was a big man. Big in muscle, bone and height. He was also just about the hairiest man I’ve ever seen in my life. It was just going on 10am and he already had a 4oclock shadow. He had hair coming out his nose, ears and close enough to say eyes. I had dated his younger brother when I was 16 for a time, not long before that infamous Morelli scandal. In fact I had broken it off with his younger brother because, me being the naïve thing I was, thought that Morelli loved me and was going to marry me. Hunh shows what I knew. Hell, shows what I know! Here I was with a man who didn’t want to get married, again! The captain here had been a rookie cop then and had scared me shitless. Now I knew he was just a puppy dog.

 

I sat down in front of his desk. “What can I do for you Captain” My manner was polite to the point of frosty. Trowleski slumped and I braced myself. Trowleski slumped never. Trowleski walked, sat and probably even screwed with his back braced.

 

“Thought you’d want to know Morelli was home. He’s in the hospital. They transferred him in from NY early this morning. He got shot last week busting the ass off the case he’d been on for the past couple of years. My men have been working fucking double shifts to cover his ass, because not only did he bust the ass off of his case he somehow tripped a few taskforce cases as well.”

 

“Is he going to be ok?” He nodded and my heart went from not going to overdrive.

 

“Fucking fine. Nothing to worry about. Just trying to get out of his share of the paper work.” That sounded a lot like Morelli, prepared to work, but only doing the things he wanted to do and he never wanted to do paperwork. Suddenly the room outside made a lot more sense. They weren’t scared of Ranger, they were actually too busy to play! Shit, I never thought I’d see the day. I sat there for a bit. Thinking about Joe. About us and that it was time we actually did something about mending fences and all that kind of crap. I sat long enough to know that Ranger would have asked Eddie what was going on and that he’d know about Morelli so I wouldn’t have to explain about the look on my face.

 

“Thanks for telling me.” It wasn’t like the Burg for me not to have heard already. I wonder how under wraps this was. I wondered if I could get to the hospital before Angie Morelli. I turned back to Trowleski.

 

“No we haven’t told his family yet. You have until midday.” I wouldn’t have till then because this is the ‘Burg and every one is a big blabbermouth. I leaned over and gave him a kiss on the cheek. That was one reason I was so well tolerated around here. I was free in my affections when it warranted it. I went over to see Eddie before following Ranger and Emily out the door.

 

“Is he really gonna be ok?” Trowleski was only honest to a point.

 

“Fine.” I gave Eddie a kiss and hug and walked out and climbed into the Bronco. Ranger lifted an eyebrow.

 

“Hospital or home?” I flicked a glance back at Emily.

 

“Hospital.” That way I could see Joe without having to see his mother and get some stuff for Emily’s lice. Ranger had a slight grin on his face. “Hey do you wanna see Mama Morelli?”

 

Ranger shot me a dark look. When I had broken up with Joe she hadn’t been very discerning as to who took the blame and let’s just say she knew it took two to tango and in her eyes at least, Joe was above reproach, Ranger however wasn’t and I had never been. Emily was whimpering in the back. I was betting her head was killing her from so much scratching. But after I told her at least 3000 times to stop scratching I gave up. If she thought it was bad now, wait until the shampoo hit her scalp. That shit stung.

 

We separated at the door, me going to the elevators up to the third floor. Ranger going to the chemist on the ground floor. Emily was staying the car, mortified at being flea-girl. I thought it was funny, and I was betting that she’d do pretty much anything to avoid going to jail again.

 

I got to reception on the third floor and followed the scent of donuts and coffee to room 376. Surely enough there were a few cops hanging around. They went silent and parted as I walked to the door. Carl, Big Dog and Brian Simon were standing around the bed. Carl looked up at me. His eyes widened and he grinned. He nudged Big Dog. They both stepped back and I got my first good look at Joe. He looked like shit and I said so.

 

He grinned. “Hey Cupcake.”

 

At first I was shocked at how he looked and I realised what a relief it was to be able to talk to Joe again, to know he was alright. I sat and the guys left the room. We talked and talked and talked. Suddenly outside in the hall went quite. I peeked at my watch. It was just after 11. I swore and started to look for a place to hide. Joe was watching me with amusement. “That’s your mother damn it!”

 

Joe grinned. I however didn’t think it prudent. I couldn’t see anywhere to hide. The door opened and Ranger came in. “Ranger.”

 

“Morelli.” He went over and shook his hand. I swear the earth shook in time. He flicked his eyes to me and looked back to Joe. “Your mother just pulled up. I thought I better come drag Steph down the stairs before she decides its better for her to jump out the window.”

 

Joe laughed and groaned. I gave him a kiss on the forehead and hurried out, Ranger tagging along behind me grin on his face. Smug prick. Just as we entered the stairs I heard the elevator ping and Angie Morelli announcing to all who didn’t know that her baby boy was home. I slumped back into Rangers arms. Comfortable in them and feeling protected. We were standing on the landing of the third floor. I turned and put my arms around his waist. “You’re so sweet.”

 

“Why?” I didn’t say that kind of thing very often and when I did I usually wanted something.

 

“You saved me from a fate worse than death!” I used my fingertips to scrape the skin on his neck and felt him grow hard against me. I rocked and he kissed me, slow and deep. We pulled away and started down the stairs, my hand in his. We rarely had this kind of moment together so when we did we tended to revel in it. My Babe was such a honey.

 

Chapter 7

 

We all filed into the apartment and Emily headed straight for her bathroom, shampoo clamped tight in her hand. Ranger and I headed for the living room. He slumped on the lounge and I lay with my head on his lap. We stayed this way for about an hour, quietly talking, eyes never leaving each others face. After hearing Emily swear for about the 1000^th time I decided to go see what was wrong. Damn her for ruining this delicious mood we were in. It didn’t happen often enough.

 

It was early morning, late enough in spring to call it an early summer. The sun was shining brightly through the balcony windows, warming my skin. I turned into Ranger, finding him awake and watching me. He pulled me closer and we lay their, just enjoying skin touching skin. Ranger closed his eyes, a slight smile on his face.

 

“You don’t have something to do this morning?”

 

“Nope.” His voice was rough with sleep. “Finished up late last night so I cancelled this mornings meeting.”

 

I was running my fingers up and down his side, enjoying the hard warmth of him. “So we’ve nothing to do all day?”

 

“Gotta go in to Vinnie’s later and pick up a cheque. Other than that, nothings doing until tomorrow.” He opened his eyes lazily. “Why?”

 

“Let’s go to the shore for the day or something. Lets go somewhere no one can find us.”

 

He laughed and pulled me closer. “How about we just stay in bed all day and ignore anyone who finds us?”

 

I kissed his chest. “That works too.”

 

She was standing against the vanity sectioning her hair picking the lice out one by one. “What on earth are you doing? The only way you’ll ever get them is to use the shampoo.”

 

“But if I use it, it will strip all the colour out of my hair.” She faced me and her skin was all splotchy and angry from where she had popped her pimples.

 

“So buy some more dye.”

 

“I can’t. Dad cancelled my allowance.” Her bottom lip fell as she sulked about it.

 

“So ask him for some money to get some more. He wont say no.” After all, look at how much he’d spent on my hair in the past 4 years or so.

 

“He said I get money for necessary things only.”

 

“Hair dye is necessary. Trust me, he knows.” After all, he knew Lula, queen chameleon. “He wont say no.”

 

“But what if he does?”

 

“Then I’ll buy you some! Just get in the shower and use the shampoo. I’m itching just looking at you.” He hands hadn’t left her head the entire time I’d been in the bathroom.

 

I left the bathroom and found Ranger at his desk working on something at his snazzy lime green laptop. I wasn’t allowed to touch anything in here. He had set me up to play cards on his last laptop when I was bored one day. I don’t know how I did it but I had fried the hard drive. Lucky for him and luckier for me, he had everything except that day’s work backed up on the pc at his Rangeman office.

 

“Fuck Stephanie. What the hell did you do?” Ranger was restraining from yelling.

 

“I went to game, quit, just like you told me too.”

 

“That’s it?” He was frowning.

 

“That’s all. I sware to God.”

 

“Shit.” Ranger fiddled around for 10 minutes, rebooting and swearing at the laptop before snapping it shut with a decided punch on the top. “Fuck!”

 

I decided not to tell Ranger about the little box that had opened in the middle of my game. Then my conscious got the better of me. Damn it. “When I quit a little box popped up asking me if I wanted to save… I clicked no… was that wrong?”

 

Ranger muttered into the desk “No.”

 

I picked myself up and away from the doorway. “Phew. I thought for a minute there that the program it was asking about was your work.”

 

His head snapped up and he yelled after me as I stepped out the door. “What? It wasn’t asking about the card game?”

 

“Nope, I didn’t think so.” He started to swear at me then. And the laptop went flying past my shoulder into the living room and onto the glass coffee table that smashed into millions of pieces on impact.

 

I had vowed never to touch anything other than him in his office and he had vowed never to swear at me for destroying anything ever again. It had then turned into an exhausting night with me working him to forget about the day.

 

I straddled his legs and sat myself on the desk in front of him blocking his view of the laptop. He put his hands on my hips and I gave him a big smile. He grinned up at me and I slid my hands behind his neck. “Sooo…”

 

“What?” He was a little suspicious. I didn’t say anything. He rolled his shoulders in a nervous gesture he’d picked up somewhere in the past few years. “What?”

 

I leaned in and whispered into his ear. “You wanna get naked?” And then I pulled his earlobe into my mouth. He pulled me onto his lap and pulled his head away and leaned it back against his chair.

 

“Don’t think now’s the time Babe. Emily will be finished soon and I want to talk to her.”

 

“She probably isn’t even in the shower yet. She wasn’t when I left the bathroom.”

 

“What’s taking her so long?”

 

“She doesn’t want to use the shampoo. It’s going to wash the colour out of her hair.”

 

“Good, its ugly anyway.”

 

“I told her you’d give her money to buy more dye.”

 

“I will not.”

 

“Then I will. I made her a promise that if you didn’t I would.”

 

“You’re not going to spend your money on her hair.”

 

“No.” I smiled at him. “I’m going to spend yours.”

 

Ranger grinned, “It still doesn’t take a girl that long to wash her hair.”

 

I rolled my eyes. “Of course not, but she’s going to wash her at least 500 times, she has head lice. She’s going to stay in there until the hot water runs out, and you know how long that takes.” It took me a great deal of self-control not to say fleas. I didn’t think Ranger would be amused that I was calling his precious little daughter flea-girl in my head.

 

I gave him a smile that I knew he thought was sexy. We had stayed in the shower until the water ran out a few times. He pulled me against him and gave me a slow deep kiss.

 

Mmmm, there were no words to describe it. Ranger was a brilliant kisser. When Ranger kissed me I knew nothing more than him, his lips, his mouth, his hands and his body against mine. Ranger pulled away and leaned his head back against the chair again.

 

I followed him back and kissed him again, and again, and again. The phone on his desk rang its funny beeping ring and I pulled away with a sigh. It was a different line to the regular house line and had to be answered.

 

“Go.”

 

I leaned into Ranger’s neck and put my mouth over the pulse at the base of it. These calls never lasted long.

 

“Marie…” Unless it was his ex-wife calling. I sighed and got off his lap. He gave me a pat on the bum and said sorry with his eyes. I shrugged and went to watch some TV. I watched the Simpson’s and half way through the second episode Emily came out in jeans and a t-shirt with a towel wrapped around her head.

 

“Show me the damage.” She pulled the towel off her head and with one look at my face she ran to the bathroom. She wailed. I would have too. Her hair had turned a dirty grey where the dyes had been bleached out. She came running back into the living room.

 

“Help me!! You have to help me! I look like a leper! No one at school will talk to me ever again!” Hunh I wasn’t sure Ranger was ever going to let her out of the house ever again, let alone to go to school.

 

“Ok, ok calm down. I’ll go down to the mall and pick you up some dye’s.” I took a second look. “And some bleach.”

 

“Can I come with you?”

 

“No, your dad wants to talk to you.” Emily rolled her eyes. I looked pointedly at her head. “Besides, do you really want to go out looking like that?”

 

She shook her head. Didn’t think so. “Your mum is on the phone in the office if you want to talk to her.”

 

“Fuck!” She ran back to the bathroom and I heard the water come back on. Smart girl. That way she could pretend to still be in the shower when Ranger called her to come talk to her mother. I had used that same trick a few times myself.

 

I strolled into the office. Ranger had the phone to his ear and had a martyred look on his face. Ranger always played the drama queen when it came to his ex-wife. I had initially hated that she had the ability to make him anything other than what he normally was. In time though I saw it was his way of dealing with her. Ranger was a great actor. I held out my hand in a ‘give me’ gesture and he pulled his wallet out of his back pocket. I grabbed $50 and he raised an eyebrow. I grinned and sat the wallet on his desk. I gave him a kiss goodbye on the ear, grabbed his leather jacket, my helmet and went down to the garage. For my 33^rd birthday Ranger had brought me a yellow Ducati. I hopped on and started it up.

 

I sped all the way down Hamilton and turned off to head to the mall. I parked near the doors and swung my leg over and off the bike. I leaned against it. I loved to drive fast on it, but I always had to catch my breath after wards. I headed to one of the specialty stores that sold hair supplies. I grabbed some bleach and 5 colours, paid and was left with $7. Well hell, there went my spending spree. I headed into Macy’s shoes and paid off my layaway. These shoes where the shit. Thigh high black leather boots, pointy toes, and a 4-inch heal.

 

I put the stuff into a special bag that had been made to fit my bike and took off, speeding back to the apartment. I let myself into the sounds of yelling. I considered waiting outside and decided to go shower instead. I dumped Emily’s bag of goodies on the living room table and headed off to the bedroom with my boots. I was half way there when Ranger called me into the kitchen. Damn! I had been so close too.

 

Chapter 8

 

I stepped into the kitchen going straight to the freezer. If I had to play unhappy families I was going to do it with ice cream. I hesitated. The cookies and cream or the honeycomb crunch? It was a tough decision but I settled on the honeycomb. I dished it out into a big bowl. At least that way when things got out of hand I could shove a spoonful into my mouth and munch the sounds away. I pointedly ignored Ranger’s glare. It was the ‘I want you on my side’ look. I mentally rolled my eyes. Right, I had to live here I wasn’t taking sides for anyone.

 

I sat on a stool and watched the game play out, mentally keeping score. Ranger wasn’t winning. Every time he glanced at me I shoved a spoonful of ice cream in my mouth. Ranger was down 7-5 half an hour later when they both looked at me and said ‘well?’ in identical tones. Fuck. I had stopped paying attention a few minutes ago and started to daydream about Mike Richter. God he was hot.

 

“I think you should talk it out. Spell out what you want in simple terms.” That should be all right? Ranger gave me a look but it passed. Emily was crying about civil rights and blah blah blah. As far as I was concerned she had given away her rights to anything when she had brought drugs into my house. For some people drugs were like a disease, for her they were a way to rebel.

 

“I want to be able to walk to school with my friends.” That sounded reasonable.

 

“I want to be able to have friends over.” That also sounded reasonable, but I knew Ranger and there was no way in hell.

 

“I want to be able to go to parties and not have to worry about my curfew.” She was getting less and less reasonable. She was 16. I don’t know many 16 year olds who didn’t have a curfew. “And I want to get my drivers permit!”

 

That sounded fine to me. It might come in handy when she’s 19 and needed to run over a boy or something. Ranger decided to jump in here.

 

“I want to be able to go to work at night and not have to worry about you. I want to know you’re safe. I don’t want to be thinking that you’re passed out somewhere or worse yet off screwing your brains out with some little shit just because you think you can or because you can’t think!”

 

Ranger was getting cranky. Letting things slip. He was more worried about her going out and having sex than going out taking drugs. I knew he knew the drug culture well. One of his best friends was in trafficking. He was a genuinely nice guy, shame about the profession, glad he lived in San Diego. Ranger raged some more, I blocked it out and ate some more ice cream. I looked down into the nearly empty bowl wondering what to eat next. Suddenly the bowl was gone, shattered over the kitchen floor, ice cream sliding down the wall where it had hit. I turned to face Ranger.

 

His face was stained red, the veins on his forehead pulsing and the cords in his neck straining. Ranger had an ugly side, lucky for him it wasn’t shown much. Well it hadn’t until Emily moved in. I turned to see what she was looking like. She had bolted. I looked back at Ranger and had to say I couldn’t blame her. Ranger kicked a stool out of his way, slamming out of the apartment. I pulled a beer out of the fridge and sat back on my stool to drink it. Emily had her wants, Ranger had his wants, but what about me? What about what I wanted? I wanted my life back, this was getting old fast.

 

I did a small but hard work out waiting for the spa bath to fill up. I relaxed for an hour or so, eating more ice cream as the jets pulsed and bubbles swirled. Eventually I was pruned and pampered. I got out and dried and dressed. I had a work meeting tonight with Rangeman. I wondered if it was going to be on with Ranger being off in a snit. I was just putting on mascara when I heard the front door open and close. Either it was Ranger coming home or Emily leaving. Truth was I didn’t care either way.

 

Ranger came into the bathroom and striped off. Oh my, oh my, Ranger was hot. Even when we had just had a fight, Ranger naked always turned me on. He turned on the shower and I said a small prayer that we had a brilliant hot water system so that the hot water had replenished already and saved me a bawling out from Ranger. Normally he was fine with me using lots of hot water, but at the moment he wasn’t in a happy mood and I was betting his normally fine temper was on fire.

 

“Is Emily still here?”

 

“No idea.”

 

The shower door swung open. “What do you mean you don’t know?” Veins on his forehead were popping up again.

 

“I don’t know as in I don’t know.”

 

“Why don’t you know?”

 

“I’m not her keeper Ranger.”

 

“Fuck!” He punched the tiles.

 

“Calm down, probably she’s in her room.”

 

“Can you go look?” I stood and waited. Sometimes Ranger had shocking manners. “Please?”

 

I nodded and left. Emily was lying on her back with headphones on reading a magazine. She pulled her headphones off. “What?”

 

“We’ve got our meeting tonight, you want help with your hair after?”

 

“Sure thanks.” She smiled at me and pulled her headphones back on her ears. I headed back to the bathroom to see Ranger scrubbing furiously at his body.

 

“Ranger, she's fine. Reading a magazine on her bed.” Ranger slumped. He rinsed the soap off his body and stepped out of the shower wrapping a towel around his body. He walked through and sat on the edge of the bed. I climbed up behind him and started to massage his shoulders. “You once told me that even you thought you were overbearing. Maybe you should think about some of what she has to say?”

 

Ranger leaned back into my massage. “I have, and I agree with some of what she said.”

 

I felt my shoulders relax. Guess I had been tense too. “You need to talk to her.”

 

The doorbell rang. Ranger pulled away and started to dress. “I know. I’ll do it after the meeting tonight.”

 

I nodded and went to answer the door.

 

Chapter 9

 

The other 6 full time employees of Rangeman filed in through the door. Lester came in last looking awful and smelling worse. “Shit what happened to you?”

 

“I didn’t get home to shower yet.” Lester was a slut.

 

“We can wait. You can shower. You stink.” I can just imagine what he had been up to last night. He smelled of cigarette smoke, alcohol, perfume and sex.

 

“I don’t have any clothes.”

 

“You can borrow something of Ranger’s. I’m betting he’d prefer it to smelling you, especially in the mood he’s been in lately.” I pushed him through to the guest bathroom and grabbed some socks, pants and a t-shirt for him.

 

I met everyone in the kitchen raiding the cupboards and cursed myself for not having the forethought to hide away my goodies. I snatched the box of Tasty Pastry pastries from Bobby and took enough for both Lester and me. It wouldn’t do to have to listen to Lester whine for the rest of the evening because he missed out on the good junk food. I handed the box back to Bobby who was looking with puppy eyes at my plate.

 

I turned away and sat on the couch in the living room waiting for the rest to join me. Ranger came and sat next to me, eventually the others came in and sat down, eating and talking trash.

 

“Lester wasn’t as bad as that time down in Mexico after basic. Man he was bad then.” Tank was grinning, slumped in a chair. I wrinkled my nose.

 

“I don’t think its possible to smell worse.”

 

“Try after a 3 day bender. I think he showered once.”

 

“He was a bad man.” Mark was smiling in the seat next to Bobby.

 

“Fuck it was a great week though.”

 

Ranger cleared his throat and gave them a change the topic look. Unfortunately for him I saw it. “You didn’t have fun Ranger?”

 

“Sure I did babe, too much fun, it was a long time ago though just remember that.” I did some quick calculations in my head. He had still been married and it was before Emily had been born. He and his wife had broken up a few weeks before they found out that she was pregnant. I was betting it was after this little to do they had in Mexico. Lester came out of the bathroom, dressed and fresh. And while he looked hot in Ranger’s clothes he didn’t exactly do them justice. Besides, I knew too much about Lester to think of him in any other terms than ‘little kid’ and ‘superslut’. Lester sat next to me, squashing me between him and Ranger. He took the plate of pastries and shoved one in his mouth. Ranger wrapped his arm around my shoulder and started the meeting.

 

The team mostly worked in pairs. So every second person filled the rest of us in. I was more often than not partnered with Tank. The only time I had been partnered with Lester was in my second month as a full time employee for Rangeman. We had been on a stakeout, watching for a deadbeat ex-husband who was drinking his child support instead of showing for court. We had been mucking around and joking so much that we had missed all his drinking friends leave without him. He had snuck out the side while we were busy laughing about something or other. Ranger had really ripped into us and our pay had been docked for weeks while we paid back the amount that we had sunk because we weren’t paying attention. From then on I had been partnered mostly by Tank and occasionally with Ranger and Mike. Ranger didn’t think that Lester and I could be trusted out of his sight. Probably he was right, Lester encouraged my outlandish behaviour.

 

The meeting slowed and Ranger handed out assignments. It fell to a free-for-all in the kitchen and I ditched. I had no desire to listen to a group of guys talk about their latest conquests. Of the seven of them only Ranger and Mike had steady relationships. The conversations sometimes got overly detailed. And while it could be funny, it could also be incredibly embarrassing.

 

I found Emily in her room on the phone. She quickly hung up and smiled. I briefly wondered if I should be worried about it and decided not to be. I had a feeling that with all the self-defence lessons Ranger had sent her too she could more than hold her own.

 

“You want to do your hair now?”

 

“Yup!” She bounced up off the bed and out of the bedroom. I rolled my eyes. I wasn’t too sure I could deal with bounce tonight. It had been a long few days and I needed to sleep. I went to grab the dyes while Emily went into the kitchen to grab a stool to sit on and some plastic wrap. When she hadn’t come back in ten minutes I went in search of her.

 

I found her in the kitchen sitting astride Mark, with his arm pinned behind his back. He wasn’t moving and the other guys were laughing. Mark hadn’t met Emily before and I was betting that he had said something about her hair. Mark had no idea that no matter how bad a woman’s hair looked you always said it looked good or you didn’t say anything at all. It was probably why he couldn’t keep a girlfriend for more than a week.

 

Emily got up off him and started towards me. Mark got up and shook himself to get the blood circulating again.

 

“Damn girl! How did you manage that?” Mark’s Minnesota accent was thick with disbelief.

 

Emily glanced back and shot a look at Ranger. “I’m my father’s daughter.”

 

It took all my self-control not to laugh. Not because it was funny, but because it was so damn accurate and I knew Ranger would hate it. Ranger doesn’t think much of his younger self. Ranger hadn’t particularly liked himself until he entered the Rangers and became the man he is today. What’s more is he hadn’t started to feel proud of himself until he broke free and was able to work according to his own morals. Still he had his moments. I turned and followed Emily into the bathroom where she proceeded to sit on the stool she had carried in with her. She sat tense as I did a quick inspection to make sure she had gotten all her lice and eggs cleaned out.

 

“All clear flea-girl.”

 

“What?” I laughed and she sat scowling at me in the mirror.

 

“Did you read all the instructions? Is it ok to do this after the shampoo?”

 

“Yep.”

 

“Alright. So how do you want this done?”

 

“Same as before. The dreads that were bleached bleach them again. We can do the colours after they’re done.”

 

“Sure.” We worked in silence for a while, me bleaching and wrapping in plastic wrap, Emily handing me the bleach and plastic wrap.

 

“So tell me Emily, have you made many friends at school?”

 

“Sure. Enough anyway.”

 

“Who are they, what are they like?”

 

“Why do you want to know?”

 

“Call me curious.” I was curious. The school Ranger had sent Emily to was the main school for the Burg kids.

 

“You don’t trust me do you?”

 

“Why should I? You’ve shown us just how trust worthy you are.”

 

“Are you telling me that you never did anything like that?”

 

“Sure I did. Difference is I didn’t get caught.”

 

“So you think its ok as long as I don’t get caught?”

 

“I didn’t say that.”

 

“But you meant it.” This was a sticky situation. I wanted to say no way in hell, but then I also knew how my mother felt when I was Emily’s age. Damn!

 

“No I didn’t. Probably you’d get along better with your dad. If he didn’t know that was. But I’m not condoning it.” I gave Emily a look and she gave me one back. I felt we had both come to the conclusion that she wasn’t going to tell Ranger and neither was I. Crap, what have I done? I pretty much just gave Emily my apathic approval that sneaking out was fine as long as she didn’t get busted. Hell.

 

We finished Emily’s hair in silence and she went back into her room to read for the half hour it took the bleach to work. I went into the kitchen to see what was happening. Ranger, Lester and Mike were sitting at the bench talking about the latest cyclic rate of the newest Rangeman acquisition for shooting at things.

 

I sighed when I noticed the empty Tasty Pastry box in front of Lester. Though I should be grateful, because while I don’t put on weight I do get flabby. Flabby, according to my man, doesn’t look good, particularly on old white chicks. I had just sat down when Emily came into the kitchen.

 

“This is really hurting my scalp. It’s burning.”

 

“Bleach does that.”

 

“I know, but it hasn’t like this before.”

 

“Give me a look.” She bent her head down. Her scalp was bleeding in various places. I guess the scratching, shampoo and bleach had been a bit much. I also guess she had lied to me about reading the shampoo container about hair treatments. I gave her a shove. “Quick, into the bathroom.”

 

I was on her heels, pushing her along. She went to get into the shower but I pushed her head down under the bath tap. “You need to get it off your skin.”

 

I turned on the cold water and let it flow over her head. “Keep your eyes and mouth closed.”

 

“Should we use shampoo?”

 

“I don’t think so. I think your head has been stripped for all its worth.” I sat on the edge of the bath, gently working the water through the hair that had bleach in it. The water ran pink to start, with the murky bleach making the water dirty. Eventually the water ran clear and I wrapped a towel around Emily’s head. She sat back on the stool as I dried it as much as I could with the towel.

 

I wondered why Ranger hadn’t been in to see if Emily was ok. I know he had heard me say she was bleeding, shouldn’t he be worrying? Doing the parenting thing? I wasn’t the parent here, but I sure was doing the job. Emily’s scalp was scabbed over and had stopped bleeding. Still it looked sore as hell. I had had bad experiences with my hair, never on this scale though. This would be something to tell Lula when I next saw her. If it wasn’t better tomorrow I’d tell Ranger to take her to see his dermatologist.

 

“Ok, that’s the best I can do. What ever you do, don’t scratch it. You’ll just make it bleed again. And tomorrow when you shower, try not to get it wet.”

 

Emily nodded and went to her room, closing the door behind her. I went into the kitchen and the guys had left. I found Ranger in his office staring at his laptop, not even attempting to pretend to work.

 

“Is Em ok?”

 

“Her scalp isn’t in the best condition, but she’ll be fine. You might have to take her to see your dermatologist tomorrow though.” Ranger nodded and went back to his laptop, pulling up some files and started to work. “I’m going to bed. Night.”

 

“Night, I’ll be in, in a bit.” I nodded and went to strip down for bed. I had gotten used to sleeping naked and now hated sleeping in any kind of clothes. I climbed into bed wondering about Ranger. He hadn’t seemed particularly concerned about Emily, he seemed to brush it off even. I fell asleep listening the keys on Ranger’s laptop click wondering what that was about.

 

Chapter 10

 

I woke in the morning cold and alone. Ranger’s side of the bed was cold so he had been up for awhile. I peeked at the clock, barely 7am. I groaned and considered rolling over and going back to sleep, but it was Saturday and I had plans with Mary Lou to go to the shore for the day.

 

The day went pretty much as expected, we spent money on junk and ate lots of bad food. I came home humming and sunburned, feeling good about my self. I should have taken it as a godsend. I walked into a war zone.

 

Ranger was leaning against one of the walls in the living room and I could hear Emily slamming through the house. I walked over to Ranger and gave him a kiss on the cheek. “What’s this all about?”

 

“I took Emily to the dermatologists. He told her she’s not aloud to dye her hair again for at least a month.” He looked at me with a slight grin as if it made him happy.

 

“So, she’s having a fit?”

 

“No, the fit’s because I told her she still has to go to school.” He looked away and pushed off the wall, walking into his office, closing the door behind him.

 

Hmm, did this mean I was meant to deal with Emily and the mess she had made through the house when she had thrown stuff? I was betting yes, but I was saying no way in hell. I headed into the kitchen and gorged on ice cream until the house fell silent. The house stayed quiet for the next four days.

 

It was the Wednesday that Emily got expelled from school that things started to happen. Things that I was less than impressed with. Things that showed me that Ranger took me for granted. And it was Emily’s third expulsion from as many schools in as many weeks that had me moving out.

 

It wasn’t Emily. It was Ranger and the way he dumped anything to do with Emily on my shoulders. I was the one who dealt with Emily’s furious teachers and schools. It was me who dealt with getting her a new one each time. It was me who dealt with the outraged parents of the kids at those schools and it was me who packed up and left Ranger to deal with his daughter on his own.

 

I got Emily settled into her 4^th school on a Tuesday, I returned home and found Ranger had gone out to take over a security shift. I packed my clothes and toiletries into a suitcase and left locking the door behind me. I had called Lester so he was expecting me and waiting at the door to his apartment. He lived in a large studio like apartment in and area that was populated by university students, artists and hippy’s. Strangely it suited Lester. The apartment had two bedrooms, a bathroom and an all in one kitchen, dinning, living area. It was a nice place, patchily decorated. It kind of looked like a kids playroom. There were all sorts of toys spread all over the place. Entertainment centre surrounded by big comfortable chairs, posters of various kinds were stuck on the walls, which were all painted various colours, if at all.

 

“What’s happened?” Lester was looking kind of amused and shocked.

 

“What hasn’t happened?”

 

“Is it Emily?”

 

“It’s Ranger.”

 

“Hmm.” And he left it there.

 

I dumped my bag in the second room and spent a few minutes pondering what I had done. I had left Ranger. The minute it hit me I fell to the floor crying. I loved Ranger, really loved him and I had gone and left him. Was I insane? What had I been thinking? What was I still thinking? Lester came in and gathered me in his arms and held me while I cried.

 

“It’s not to late to get back before he gets home you know.”

 

It was all I need to hear to stop crying. I pulled away and pulled myself together. “No.”

 

Lester gave me a one armed hug and pulled me to my feet. “Will you be alright?”

 

I gave him a weak smile. “I’ll be fine. Just please don’t tell him I’m here”

 

Lester nodded slowly and I watched him as he left the apartment to do his shift for Rangeman. As the door closed I whispered, “Eventually.”

 

*************

 

I let myself into my apartment and called out to Steph. There was no answer so I headed into the kitchen to see if she had left a note. We left each other notes on the fridge if either of us were going to be late getting home. The only note in Steph’s handwriting was the name of Emily’s new school, the address and the time. There was a scribbled postscript saying I had to pick Emily up. I screwed up my nose. I was tired, I needed to shower and work out a little to loosen my muscles before I settled into work on a new assignment the company had picked up today.

 

I called Steph’s cell phone and got no answer. I tried it three more times before resigning myself to the fact that I had to pick up Emily. I thought about calling Tank to do it, but he was working the security shift with Lester. Which reminded me, I wonder why Lester had been so sombre when he relieved me at the building we were currently patrolling. I’d have to ask him when I saw him next, Or maybe Steph knew, she was good friends with him.

 

I had time for either a shower or a quick workout before going to get Emily. I did a fast circuit of the weight station. I grabbed a fast shower and tried Steph one more time before taking the stairs down to the car lot. It was a 15-minute drive to Emily’s new school and I made it in 10. I was standing leaning against the drivers door of my latest Mercedes watching the bodies sprawl out of the low brick building waiting for Emily when her and a few girls her age approached the car.

 

The girls were giggling and Emily was looking shocked that it was me that was there. What, like I did nothing for her?

 

“We’re giving the girls a lift to the station.”

 

I raised an eyebrow at her and she snapped.

 

“Stephanie would do it.”

 

“I didn’t say I wouldn’t.”

 

I climbed into the Mercedes and started the engine. Emily climbed into the front passengers side like a queen and turned to talk to her friends in the back. I punched on the CD player, hitting the volume to drown them out. It was Steph’s CD of Jimmy Eat World. I tapped along to it when it was stopped and replaced by Britney Spears. Now I know that Emily didn’t like her. Emily had music taste a lot like Steph, so either the girls in the back liked her or she was trying to start a fight. I looked in the rear-vision mirror. All the girls were smirking trying to not giggle, so I was betting on Emily trying to pick a fight.

 

I looked over and noticed a new piercing in Emily’s ear. I decided to ignore it, better her ear than some other place I guess. I turned the CD off and waited for the outburst. There was none but I watched as she rolled her eyes at her friends. So much like Steph I was kind of amused.

 

I pulled into the station and the girls in the back got out saying bye and thank you and see you tomorrow and such things. As we pulled away however I saw them making actions that they seemed too young to be making. But it did my ego good to know that girls younger than me thought I was still good looking. I thought about telling Steph later and then I thought about what I could tell her to do to make her feel better about herself.

 

I pulled into the car lot under the building grinning. I rode the elevator with Emily still grinning while she slumped and sighed. I went to work in the office while Emily went into her room to do what ever it was she did in there every afternoon after she came home from school.

 

Emily came into the office at close to 8pm. The time had flown by while I was working and I was kind of shocked at the time.

 

“I’m hungry.”

 

“So get yourself something to eat.” I’d have thought Steph would have ordered pizza by now. She tends to do that when I get caught up in work and I don’t get there in time to make her eat something healthy.

 

“There’s nothing I want to eat.”

 

“So get Steph to order a pizza.”

 

“Stephanie isn’t home.”

 

I checked the time again, on my watch and my laptop. Both said 7.54pm, so where was Steph? I followed Emily to the kitchen and checked the fridge for a note I might have missed while she called Pino’s for pizza. There was no note. I waited until Emily had finished and called Steph’s cell phone and I heard it ring in the bedroom. I took the cordless and followed the sound and found her cell sitting on her pillow. I hung up and looked around the room. Steph’s cupboard was open and empty. I went into the bathroom. All her things were gone. I had showered in there earlier. How had I not noticed?

 

I went back into the bedroom and sat on the bed. And that’s where I found the note. ‘Sorry.’ Just that one word scribbled in Steph’s handwriting.

 

**************

 

I had gone back to write a note for Ranger. I had timed it carefully, entering the building when he left to pick up Emily and leaving within ten minutes of arriving. I had tried and tried and tried to think of what to say but in the end I couldn’t think of a damn thing. I had scribbled ‘Sorry’ and ran. And I was just realising that I had left my cell phone there.

 

Earlier I had unpacked my clothes into the spare room cupboard and then spent an hour beating the crap out of Lester’s punching bag. I was exhausted, mentally, physically and emotionally. I showered and crawled into a chair waiting for Lester to get home. I didn’t want to be alone.

 

The phone rang and I ignored it. When it started to ring again I considered unplugging it. It rang out 6 times before Lester came in.

 

“Hey, your phone has been ringing of the hook for the past ten minutes.”

 

“That would be Ranger. Looking for you.”

 

I turned and looked at him. “How does he know where I am?”

 

“Well once he pulled us all in for an emergency meeting, to find you and drag you back bodily if we had too, I decided that I had better tell him you were here.”

 

“So why isn’t he here now?”

 

“We convinced him to leave you alone for a while. We said try calling her first. I guess you don’t want to talk to him just yet huh?”

 

I looked away. “Not just yet, no.”

 

The phone was ringing again and Lester went and hit answered it, hitting the speakerphone. I sunk into the chair further. I didn’t want to listen, I didn’t want to hear.

 

“Stephanie? Babe? What’s wrong? What happened?”

 

“It’s me. She told me she doesn’t want to talk to you. Sorry man.”

 

“Why doesn’t she want to talk to me? What’s wrong? Is she ok?”

 

Ranger sounded concerned, worried. And I hated myself for having put those tones into his voice.

 

“She’s fine man, I told you that.”

 

“I want to hear her say that. I want to know why she left. I want to talk to her.” There was a mumbling in the background and a distinct, ‘Fuck off Tank.’

 

“Steph, would you talk to him please? Say something, tell him you’re fine. That you’re ok.” I sunk further down into the chair so I couldn’t see Lester or the damn phone. I heard him sigh. “She wont say anything. I’m going to hang up Ranger. Try again tomorrow.”

 

“No! Wait! Steph! Please babe, talk to me.”

 

“Hang up Lester.” I whispered it and Lester looked at me as if I should know better.

 

“I’m gonna go man. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

 

“I’m coming around there now. I’ll see you in ten.”

 

I shot up in my chair. “No.” I said it loudly and clearly. “I don’t want to see you or talk to you Ranger. If you’re coming here I’m leaving.”

 

“Steph! Please…”

 

“Are you staying or coming Ranger?”

 

“Fine, I’ll stay, just tell me if you’re ok!”

 

I went over to Lester and put my finger to the ‘End Call’ button. “I’m fine Ranger.”

 

I hit the button and Lester took a step towards me and I held up my hand in a ‘stop’ gesture. If he touched me now, I’d cry and that would be the end of it, because Ranger would be calling back soon to talk to Lester and I’d be crying so he’d come around anyway. I went to my room and climbed into the bed, cold and alone. I heard the phone ring half a ring before Lester grabbed it up and I cried myself to sleep. And for the first time in over five years, I had to hold myself while I did.

 

Chapter 11

 

It had been 2 weeks or so since I had left Ranger. I had seen him once about 2 days after I left him, he hadn’t tried to talk to me. I’d locked myself in Lester’s bathroom to be sure he wouldn’t. I was pretty sure that Ranger was over being upset that I left him. I’d have thought by now he’d be plenty mad at me. No one had ever left him before it was always him who initiated the leaving. No one had ever said no to him before, I was a first for that too. Lester was keeping me updated on what was happening in my home, well my old home. Emily was running riot and anytime she mentioned my name Ranger would back down and it would start all over again. He had stopped hitting the emergency lock in case I wanted to come home. Emily thought it was fantastic. At least someone in the family was enjoying themselves.

 

I had gone back to working for Vinnie full time. I hated it, but at the same time I loved it. I realised how much of my freedom I had given up when Ranger had absorbed me into his life whole. I went out with my friends and I made new friends. I turned down 2 dates and a proposal made by some drunken guy in Lula’s favourite bar. Still, 2 weeks without Ranger I had a proposal, 5 years with him and not one proposal. I was really mad about that. I wanted to get married, in a church with all my friends and family around me to celebrate with us. Ranger didn’t, Ranger never wanted to get married again.

 

I got the biggest shock of my life 16 days and counting after I left Ranger. Emily came to see me. We sat down on the couch next to each other with ice cream.

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

“For what?” Emily had nothing to be sorry about as far as I was concerned.

 

“For everything. If I hadn’t come you and my dad would still be happy.”

 

I slowly shook my head. “No we wouldn’t. Maybe it would seem like it, but I’ve been upset with him for a while now. I’m sure he has been with me too. Your coming here just brought it out into the open.” I smiled at her. “We should be thanking you. We’d have grown old together and we’d have eventually hated each other.”

 

She smiled a small smile and we ate some more ice cream. She slammed the tub down on the living room table. “I can’t stand it! Come home!! Please!”

 

“What?”

 

“Last night, I told Dad I was going to a party. You know what he said?” I shook my head. “He said, ‘have fun’ that’s it! No arguing, no screaming match, no rules set.”

 

“I thought for you it would be the best thing you could have had happen.”

 

“That’s what I thought. I set out with the biggest grin you’ve ever seen. I was home by 11pm.”

 

I looked at her. She looked well rested. “Why?”

 

“Because it’s no fun when there are no rules to break!” she exhaled sharply. I wondered if she knew just how much ammunition she had given me to help Ranger right there. Wait, Ranger didn’t need my help. According to him, he didn’t need anyone’s help. I watched her as she tugged on her freshly coloured hair. It looked much better coloured than dull grey and black.

 

“That’s why you screw up at school so much isn’t it? Because there are so many rules to break.”

 

She nodded. “I’ve thought about this a bit you know, since last night. If there’s a rule, I want to break it. There’s an adrenalin rush or something that flows for a long time after the rules been broken. Part of it was to get my dad’s attention, you know, he never gave me much attention, just lots of money. Even when I was living with my mother, I was trying to get his attention, but the rush, it’s almost an orgasm you know. It makes everything better, brighter, faster. Even after it stopped being about him, I wanted his attention, but I also wanted the rush.” She slumped, grinning almost dazed. “It’s like a drug, but better. It’s a natural rush. I want it all the time, the rush, so I go out of my way to break rules.”

 

She sounded like a drug addict. And it sounded like a chemical imbalance. She sniffed and wiped her nose with the heel of her hand.

 

“It scares me sometimes, now that I know. I feel like a junkie looking for a fix. If I don’t get the rush, I go looking for the fix, the rule to break. That’s what happened when I was busted stealing. It was the closest rule I could find to break. Leaving school, it was like to lame or something, I didn’t get the big rush from it I thought I would.” She looked at me, tears about to fall. “I’m scared, my body doesn’t feel right without the rush anymore. And one day I’m going to go looking for that fix, the rule to break and I’m going to step into it. I’m going to get arrested or dead. And I’m scared!” She started to cry and I put my ice cream down. She put her head on my lap, buried her face into my stomach and wrapped her arms around me. I liked the feeling. I liked being able to take care of her I realised. Ranger never needed me to take care of him. I stroked her face and hair until she calmed down. She was just recovering when Lester walked in with Ranger and Tank. Shit.

 

I tried to get rid of them with my eyes. From where they were, they couldn’t see Emily. I think Ranger thought I meant just him, because his eyes went flinty and hard. I shooed them with my arm, but they came closer. Emily at up and took one look at Ranger’s face. She was running before I could tell her it was about me. Ranger’s face went from hard to shell shocked in the time it took for Emily to get out the door. I went after her, calling. I stopped in front of Ranger. “Call and make an emergency appointment with Dr Randall.”

 

He nodded slowly, still trying to get things sorted in his head. I ran out after Emily and found her sitting against the door of the apartment below me. I didn’t know who lived there but I sometimes felt some heavy riffs from a guitar vibrating through the ceiling. It wasn’t bad, so I had no quarrels with the guitar player. Emily was crying and I sat down next to her wrapping an arm around her leaning against the door with her. We sat there and I just waited for her to stop sniffling. We heard footsteps and suddenly the door opened. I looked up past a pair of hairy legs, up a skirt and then past it to the face of Sally Sweet. I smiled. I couldn’t help it. It had been awhile since I saw him and I had missed him.

 

“Well fuck! Stephanie Plum! How the fuck are ya dude?” Sally hauled me up and wrapped me up like a bear. He squeezed me so tight I stopped breathing. “It’s been for fucking ever!” He stepped back and looked at me critically. “You look like shit.”

 

“Thanks.” Sally moved his eyes to Emily.

 

“And who’s this gorgeous girl?” Sally let go of me and pulled her into his arms. “Hows it going? Any friend of Steph’s is a friend of mine. Except Morelli. And maybe Ranger.” He let go of Emily and returned his attention to me. He dragged us inside his apartment. “Heard you did good and done gone left him.”

 

I sniffed, emotions running riot. “Yeah. Meet Emily, Ranger’s daughter.”

 

Sally raised his bushy mans eyebrows and looked Emily over. “Well you sure are prettier than him that’s for fucking sure.”

 

“Were you going somewhere?”

 

“Yeah, fucking band practice. Still trying to find a new singer. Sugar might have been psycho, but he could sing.”

 

I didn’t know whether to say sorry or not. He shrugged I shrugged. Enough said. “Can we hang out here for a bit?”

 

“Sure, make yourselves at home. There’s food in the fridge and shit.  Gotta go but I wanna catch up with you Steph. Will you be here when I get back?”

 

“I dunno, but I’m staying up stairs with Lester anyways.”

 

“Lester? Man he’s fucking nuts!” I smiled. It was true.

 

Sally left and we ate all his ice cream in silence. I called Ranger.

 

“Talk.”

 

“Did you make the appointment for Emily?”

 

“Yeah, it’s for 16hundred hours. Why?”

 

“She told me a few things and I think she needs to see a doctor is why.”

 

“She’s not pregnant is she?”

 

“Not as far as I know.” There was a sigh on the other end of the line.

 

“Do you want me to come with you?”

 

“Let me talk to her and I’ll call you back. Its up to her.”

 

“Ok. Talk to you soon.” He sounded happy about it. He disconnected and I went back in to talk to Emily.

 

“Hey.” Emily’s eyes were red from crying. She looked appealing even after an hour crying jag damn her. “Your dad got you an appointment with our doctor. Who do you want to come with you?”

 

“What for?” She looked a little bit panicked and a little bit unsure. “What’s the doctor for?”

 

“Well I could be wrong, but what after what you’ve just told me, you need to see a doctor.”

 

“What can a doctor do?” She spoke with a quiet menace that didn’t scare me. Ranger was much better at it.

 

“Because the way you described the rush you get, it makes it sound like a chemical imbalance. The doctor can find out what kind and fix it.”

 

“Really?” She sounded hopeful.

 

“I’m not sure, but I’m sure she’ll find something that will help you to stop breaking rules so you don’t end up in jail or dead.” She started to cry again, tears of relief. “Who do you want to take you to see her?”

 

“You. I don’t want to talk to my dad about this. He doesn’t really care.” I started to protest. “Don’t, don’t even try to make it sound like he does. Everything to do with me he shoved off on to you and you know it.”

 

She was right, but she was wrong. He did put everything onto me, but he did care. I knew there was no one he trusted like he did me, maybe Tank. But he entrusted Emily to me because he cared and knew he could trust me. I know that he loved her to bits and as a child he had kept her away for her safety. By the time she grew up, it had become a habit. “Ok, fine. I’ll let him know and I’ll take you home after. The appointment is at 4 so we’ll have to go now.”

 

She grabbed my arm. “No matter what the doctor says, will you come home tonight and talk to him about this. I cant.”

 

I nodded and we started for the door. “I’ve gotta go up and get my bag and keys. I’ll tell your dad while I’m up there. Meet me at the bike?”

 

She nodded and we went our separate ways.

 

Ranger, Tank and Lester were sorting through the surveillance photos Lester had taken the previous night. Well Tank and Lester were, Ranger was sort of staring off into space. Lester had told me about this, but I hadn’t believed it. Ranger wasn’t a staring off into space kind of guy.

 

I hadn’t seen him for close to 2 weeks and he looked like shit. His body was in great condition sure, but for someone who knew him, he looked like shit. He had big black bags under his eyes from lack of sleep. They matched mine. His shoulders were slumped and he had a slight curve to the spine. Ranger was ramrod. He never slumped. His right leg was bouncing or his hand tapping. Ranger didn’t have nervous tics or movements. Aside from the neck roll, but that was from a different tension. But these movements weren’t neck-rolling movements. And it scared me. Ranger had stayed alive for so long because he had perfect control. Over his body, mind and emotions. Now it looked like he had control over none and now I was scared he was going to get dead because of it.

 

Everyone turned to look and me and caught me staring at Ranger. I turned away and grabbed up my bag, keys, leather jacket and two helmets. I turned back to Ranger and looked into those brown eyes that I’d been missing so badly. “I’ll bring her home later and we’ll talk.”

 

I almost added, ‘about her’ but I pulled myself up short. I guess its time that we talked too. He nodded slowly and I left.

 

************************

 

I sat and my mind wondered. Tank and Lester resumed working not long after Steph left. I wondered what Steph was doing and if Emily was ok. I trusted Steph to take care of this and it hurt that Emily wanted her to, not me.

 

Dr Melissa Randall was a good doctor. She was my personal doctor along with being employed by the company. She was also Steph’s cousin. I had been amazed in the past 16 days to find out just how many of Steph’s relatives and friends had become employed by my company. A few had rung up and quit when they heard that she had left me. Showing loyalty to Steph, rather than the company. A few had rung up and said just hang in there until she comes to her senses. Those who hadn’t rung to show support in any manner were slowly going to be let go from the company.

 

Most amusing and frightening had been Mary Lou and Lula showing up one day to the apartment while Emily was home. Those two played good cop bad cop frighteningly well. They had let themselves in due to the door being unsecured and started right in on me before I could ask them about it. Mary Lou was playing bad cop, verbally bashing me for hurting Steph. I didn’t know what to do, I didn’t know what I had done. Lula then started the soothing and the planning for how to get her back. Lula had a good reason. Lula was missing out on work at Vinnie’s because Steph had gone back to work there. I had had to threaten Vinnie about what she could and couldn’t handle. Vinnie, being the scum that he is, would happily hand off a trained assassin to Steph. I set boundaries, and he adhered or got hurt. I also swore him to secrecy. Wouldn’t do to have Steph know about it.

 

So that day had been highly emotional. I had nearly cried in front of both Lula and Mary Lou. I had considered letting the tears roll because they would have told Steph. When I decided not to it had almost been too late. They were welled up in my eyes ready to roll. I got lucky when both of them cut out fast when Lester pulled up. Probably this visit would go unmentioned on all sides.

 

I shook my head. Work, I should be concentrating on work. Lester had taken damn near a thousand photos on his surveillance job. All had to be studied and noted.

 

Steph had looked good. Not great, but not bad. She never looked bad. I had nearly lost her once in the beginning of our relationship. I knew I shouldn’t let the fact that she was arguing with Morelli get to me, but well, they used to argue, make up, argue, and make up. It didn’t bode well for me. I had nearly lost her then and it had hurt like a bitch. It didn’t take long to realise all I had to do was overwhelm her senses and she wouldn’t be upset at me being mad any more.

 

I had filled her small apartment with flowers and scented candles. When she came home I was waiting in a long duster and nothing else. Even now I’m not sure she even noticed the flowers and candles. I had felt like a first class jerk off when I figured I’d had no reason to get mad. She had been defending me against Morelli. She had all the reason in the world to get mad at me getting mad at her. But she forgave me. And I lived with the grace that she had forgiven me that time and a million other times. My own mother hadn’t forgiven me for less. At the time, I had thought there was nothing Steph wouldn’t forgive and I realised just how badly Morelli had been able to use her nature for his own games.

 

“Ranger?”

 

I looked at Tank and Lester. “What?”

 

“We’re about done here for the afternoon. You want to go home?” I looked at my watch, 1647 hours.

 

“Yeah, thanks guys.” I stood up and started to leave. I turned back. “I’m sorry, it’s just…”

 

They nodded like they understood. They didn’t but they were trying. “I don’t know how long it will take. Tank, take care of everything you can. If there’s something you guys cant handle, call me. But I’d rather not be interrupted tonight.”

 

They nodded this time decisively. They were excellent employees and even better friends. I got home just after 1700 hours. Steph and Emily weren’t there so I tried to work of some nervous energy. I worked out and when they still weren’t home after I showered I started cooking. One thing Steph had never been able to resist is good food.

 

I had finished cooking and cleaning up by 1900 hours. I was worried. A doctor’s appointment doesn’t normally take 3 hours. I tried calling Steph’s phone but I realised she’d have it off due to the equipment in the doctors building. It was close to 20hundred hours when they came in. Emily was dragging herself and rushed for the bathroom when I stood up in the living room. Stephanie flopped on the couch. Vomiting could be heard down the hall.

 

“She’ll need water Ranger.” I nodded and went to the kitchen getting water for both of them. I gave Steph hers and she downed it. I took Emily’s into the closest toilet and she was on her ass leaning against the wall, tears running down her face.

 

“You ok?” She nodded. I gave her the glass and went back to the living room. Stephanie’s eyes bugged.

 

“Fucking hell.” It was said softly so I wasn’t sure if I was meant to have heard it or not. I wondered what I had done wrong this time.

 

****************

 

Ranger, the moron, had just left her in there. I was betting she was still on the floor. She was. He hadn’t even got her a face cloth. I stepped back and ran ass into Ranger. “Get out of the way.”

 

I didn’t bother to wait around and see the look on his face. He cornered me in the linen closet. “Ok. So you left and you’re taking care of my daughter. But you have no right, absolutely no right to speak to me like that.”

 

He was mad, but not as mad as me. “No right? I have every right to speak to you in any damn way I like! Your daughter is on her ass throwing her guts up and you just leave her there! Jesus Ranger! Have you no feelings at all for her in your bony fucking head?”

 

I pushed past him but he grabbed my arm. His body was tense and screamed barely restrained anger. But his eyes, his eyes were scared. I reached up and rubbed my hand against his stubbled jaw, a tear ran down his cheek.

 

“Is she ok?” He whispered so quietly I nearly didn’t hear him. I shrugged my shoulders.

 

“We wont know until tomorrow at the earliest. Melissa is pulling strings to get the tests bumped up to first in line for analysis.”

 

Ranger’s shoulders slumped like a defeated man. Suddenly our arms were around one another. His face was buried in my neck and I could feel his hot tears rolling down my neck and chest. His arms were like bands of steel holding me to him; it was almost painful. I rubbed my hands up through his hair a few times and eventually, reluctantly started to pull away. “Ranger, Emily.”

 

He stood up and sheepishly smiled, rubbing away his tears. “Right. What can I do?”

 

“Run her a bath, turn her bed down. Then come get her and carry her to her to the bath. The tests really knocked her about.”

 

He nodded and gave me a soft kiss on the lips before hurrying off. I touched my lips, pressing the kiss back. I had missed those kisses. I grabbed the face cloth, wetting it and went back to Emily. I detoured to grab the pills Melissa had handed me to reduce the nausea as she dropped us off. Emily had said she felt too weak to stay on the bike.

 

I sat on the ground next to her, gently washing her face. Ranger came back and stood in the doorway. It was a small room and starting to feel smaller. “The bath is almost ready.”

 

“Can you fill this again?” I handed the cup to him and he nodded. He came back while Emily was hurling the water she had just drunk. I had hold of her hair and was rubbing her lower back, murmuring nothing to her. She dry heaved a few times and collapsed back against the wall. I washed her face and Ranger disappeared.

 

“Here.” I handed her the pill and picked up the water Ranger had sat in the door. “Sip this to wash it down, don’t drink it.” She did as tears rolled down her face again. I used the face cloth again and Ranger returned.

 

“The bath is ready.” I nodded and backed out so Ranger could get into to pick her up. He cradled her gently and she started to cry in earnest, not just as a reaction to vomiting.

 

“Daddy!” It came out as a wail and it was pitiful. She held on tight to him and Ranger held on tight. She was sobbing and calling his name. He sat with her still in his arms and rocked her back and forth and I realised I was the only one not crying. I was all cried out. Ranger was murmuring things as I had done. Things like ‘its ok’ and ‘I'm here, we’re here’ and ‘you’re ok’. And for right now, he was right.

 

Chapter 12

 

Eventually things calmed down. I helped Emily wash, scrubbing the sticky stuff from her body where Melissa had stuck electrodes to her. Emily was bleeding under the skin at her left arm where she had had blood taken. The right arm wasn’t bleeding under the skin, but they had taken blood from there too. Her stomach had settled somewhat and she had stopped heaving. I helped her out of the tub and into pyjamas. I let Ranger into the bathroom and he carried her to bed. I said goodnight and went to wait for Ranger in the living room. I slumped on the couch and half an hour later Ranger came in and slumped next to me. One hand was white from lack of blood. I was betting Emily had held on tight until she slipped into sleep.

 

“She’s asleep.” Ranger rubbed his hands over his face and then drew them back through his hair. The muscles in his arms and chest rippled; I swallowed hard and I had to look away. I missed his body so much it hurt like a physical pain sometimes. “What happened that you decided to take her to the doctor?”

 

“She begged me to come home.” He raised an eyebrow at me, and I laughed. “Yeah. Last night, when she went out, you didn’t set any rules.”

 

He looked surprised and then wriggled in his seat. “No I guess not. I’ve been kind of out of it. I’ll remember next time.”

 

“No, you can’t set rules for her, not for awhile yet anyways.”

 

“What? Why not?”

 

I explained about what she told me and how she was using the rules to trigger the release. “Melissa was telling me that she breaks rules as a trigger. Her body discovered a way to release the chemical into her blood.”

 

“Ok. I understand. I think.”

 

“Em’s body is low in what ever it is. Lets call it Chem. X. A normal body gets a regular daily release of it. Her body gets less than normal, until she breaks a rule. Melissa showed how when she broke a rule her heartbeat jumped and her blood work changed. When she breaks a rule she gets an excess of Chem. X.” He nodded, I guess my garbled explanation worked. “Now they just have to discover what hormone or chemical it is so they can regulate it.”

 

“How did you figure this out? I’d have never thought about it.”

 

“When she came to me this afternoon, she was scared. She had figured out what was happening to her and she wanted it to stop. The way she described it made it sound like my cousin Julia when she was younger. She had a hormonal imbalance. I figured taking her to see Melissa wouldn’t hurt.” Sitting here talking to Ranger felt like an everyday thing. The only difference was we weren’t touching and I didn’t live here anymore. I started to get up. “I’ve got to go. Call me if Emily wants me to go back to the doctors with her. Oh, can I borrow a car? I’ll send it back with Lester tomorrow.”

 

“Do you want to eat? I made dinner while I was waiting.” I looked down at him and slowly shook my head.

 

“I just want to get back to Lester’s and go back to sleep.” Ranger stood and followed me to the kitchen. I grabbed a set of keys and turned to leave. Ranger was there; his hand reached up and caressed my face. I closed my eyes and leaned into it. I could pretend for just a little while couldn’t I?

 

“Lester’s place.” His thumb ran across my bottom lip. “You don’t call it home.”

 

I pulled away. “It’s not home.”

 

“So why don’t you come home?”

 

“Because I’m not sure where that is anymore.”

 

I left then. Left Ranger standing in the kitchen looking out after me. Left Emily in her room sleeping a healing sleep.

 

 

 

I woke the next morning to Lester holding the phone out to me.

 

“Dr Randall called. She wants to see me. Will you come?” It was Emily.

 

“Sure. Is your dad coming with us?”

 

“Yeah. He’s still here.” She sounded surprised. “We watched a video together.”

 

Now it was my turn to be surprised. “That’s nice.”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“What time is the appointment?”

 

“In an hour.”

 

“Ok I’ll come by and catch a ride with you.”

 

“Ok.” And she hung up. Like her father.

 

I showered and did my hair and makeup. I dressed in the green dress I had shown Ranger a few weeks before, the one with the spaghetti straps. I wanted to go bare foot, but went with sandals. I rubbed my hand against my stomach, cramping up. Damn periods suck. I went to get changed into something more substantial. I always preferred to wear something more when I had my period. I don’t know why, but I felt more comfortable. I nearly fell on my ass when I ran into the wall.

 

I’d been counting. I hadn’t had my period for close to 3 months now. Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck. I screamed and Lester came running in.

 

“What?!” I didn’t answer. “Damn It!! What!!”

 

“Nothing Lester. Go away.” I closed the door and picked up the phone, dialling Melissa’s surgery. I was put on hold and I checked my underwear to be sure I hadn’t just started. Nothing. The receptionist picked up again.

 

“Hi! Thank you for waiting. How may I help you?” She was cheery. I couldn’t deal with cheery now.

 

“I need to see Melissa, Sorry Doctor Randall. I’m coming in with another patient this afternoon. Can I see her after that?”

 

“Whom will you be coming in with?”

 

“Emily Manoso.”

 

“Oh is this you Stephanie? I’m sure she’ll be happy to squeeze you in. I’ll make a note and we’ll see you later.”

 

“Thanks.” I hung up and felt numb. I didn’t feel excited or upset. I didn’t feel anything. All I could think was, I’m pregnant, in my 30’s and I’m not married. I’m not even with the baby’s father anymore! I was going to hell. My mother was going to kill me and I was going straight to hell.

 

I drove on autopilot home and met Ranger and Emily in the garage. Emily was all smiles. “I thought you weren’t going to come.”

 

Ranger was staring at me, looking me up and down. His eyes were hot and I could see he was hard through his jeans. He caught me looking and I watched as a slight grin pulled at the edges of his mouth.

 

“Of course I was coming” I climbed in the back of the Mercedes and sat quietly staring out the window. It was close to lunchtime so that would be an ok excuse to stay back with Melissa. Ranger pulled into the small lot behind the surgery and I caught him looking in the rear vision mirror at me. I pulled my hand away from where I had been rubbing my stomach and opened the door.

 

I stepped out into the Trenton summer heat and shivered. My hands and feet were frozen. Ranger and Emily walked ahead and I came after them. We were admitted to Melissa’s office immediately.

 

“Ok, let me get straight to the point. We found the problem and it’s easily fixed. I’m surprised a doctor hasn’t picked up on it in regular blood works before.”

 

“I haven’t been to a doctor in over 6 years.”

 

Melissa raised an eyebrow at Ranger about that. Ranger was a regular. He came to see Melissa at least once every 6 months for a check up. “Ok. What it is that you have is 2 imbalances. That’s why you had such problems. You have an adrenalin imbalance and that was impacting your hormone release. Its easy to control.” She printed off a prescription. “Take two of these a day, morning and night and it will sort out the adrenalin. When the adrenalin flows smoothly, your hormones will kick in at a normal pace. It will take a few days, but wait it out and you’ll be fine in no time.”

 

Emily gave Melissa a huge smile. “Thanks.”

 

Melissa grinned. “Thank Steph. She’s the one who got you here.”

 

Emily nearly bowled me out of the chair hugging me. Ranger stood ready to go. I remained sitting.

 

“You want a lift?”

 

I shook my head. “I’m gonna have lunch with Mel.”

 

Ranger and Melissa raised eyebrows at me. “How will you get home?”

 

“I’ve got the bike here from yesterday.”

 

“In that dress?”

 

“I have my jacket and jeans in the saddle pack.”

 

Ranger stared at me hard until Emily pulled at his arm. He broke eye contact and I looked away, not meeting his eyes again. They left and I was left with a sharp-eyed Melissa.

 

“Why did you lie to him?”

 

I stared at her in mute appeal. I didn’t want him to know anything until I was sure.

 

“You missed your last appointment. You didn’t get you shot.” I sat up. I didn’t remember that.

 

“I haven’t had my period for close to 3 months.”

 

“Shit Steph.”

 

“I know.” And tears started to roll. I was tired of crying.

 

“You didn’t want to have lunch did you?”

 

“No. I want you to test me to see if I’m pregnant.” I didn’t want to be. I really didn’t. Maybe if I were still with Ranger I would be happy about it. But I wasn’t on either count.

 

Two hours later Melissa called me back into her office. “You’re not pregnant.”

 

I slumped with shock. I wasn’t? “I’m not?”

 

“No. Are you stressed? Emotionally overwrought?”

 

“Beyond your wildest dreams.”

 

“That’s probably what its about then. You have a slight infection in your urinary tract, which would be causing the cramps. Your body is shutting itself down in defence. You’re probably over tired also. Using up too much energy. Your body is shutting down the unnecessary parts to conserve energy. That and the fact that you missed your last shot is screwing with your uterus.”

 

“Is there anything I should do?”

 

“Either go on a holiday or work it out with Ranger.”

 

“What?” She was my cousin. She was supposed to be on my side.

 

“That’s what’s got you stressed. Tell me why you left him anyways.”

 

I thought about it. He took me for granted and… and what? I couldn’t remember anymore. And it wasn’t that he took me for granted, more that he trusted me to deal with Emily, where he didn’t trust himself. Shit.

 

I wondered out of Melissa’s office and over to where I had left my bike yesterday. I slipped my jeans up under my dress and pulled on my jacket. I pulled on some old jogging shoes and did up my helmet. And I rode. I got on the turnpike and followed a road. Not particularly caring where I was going, as long as it was away from Trenton, Ranger and the mess I had made of my life.

 

I ended up in Philadelphia. I stopped, ate and tried to figure out a way to fix the mess my life was in. I couldn’t go back to Ranger and explain. I was too embarrassed. And if I did nothing would be resolved. Because I was angry that he dumped everything to do with Emily on to me. And I was angry about how he controlled my life. But, truth be told, I loved him more than I was angry with him. So why couldn’t I take the first step to fix this?

 

Chapter 13

 

Emily was all for following Steph. I had been waiting in the lot for Emily to get her prescription filled, watching to see where Melissa and Steph were going to eat. They didn’t leave the building. True, they could have used another exit, but all the little delis and cafés were on this side of the building. I had been suspicious when Steph didn’t leave with us, but had brushed it aside. Now though, my doubts were in full swing. What if she was seeing someone else? What would happen then?

 

Emily got back in the car and I had asked where Steph had parked her bike. Emily pointed to around the side and I could just see the back of a tire if I stood outside my door. I moved the car into another parking space so I could see it clearly. I gave Emily some money for food and some magazines. She was happy to sit and wait as long as she had something to do. She punched up Steph’s Incubus CD, and we waited. Emily eventually gave into her yawning and let the seat back.

 

I stayed upright and aware. This was not unlike a surveillance job. I sorted through my thoughts, trying to figure out what the hell had happened to make Steph leave. I knew she wanted marriage, but I doubted as though that was the reason. It might be why she was staying away after the fact, but it wasn’t what had made her leave.

 

I didn’t want to get married again. Not after the first time. It had been an unmitigated disaster. I had thought I loved Marie, besides she was pregnant. Double bonus right? Wrong. It hadn’t take long for both of us to realise we were wrong. By then though it was too late. Neither one of us had what it had taken to be married to each other. Luckily, we both knew it. So we stuck it out as friends while I was still in the army. It worked well that Marie got the insurance and she and Emily were both covered by my employer, the USA government. Before we divorced we were better friends than we started. It became a disaster when we got divorced. My mother was suing for custody. My mother, who hadn’t been around or even talked to me since I was 17.

 

I stood with Marie in court. My mother hadn’t been a good mother to me and there was no way in hell that I was going to let her have anything to do with raising my daughter. There were reasons I ended up living my teen years the way I did. I was fine living at home as long as I had something to contribute to the house. My contribution was cash from stealing cars for chop shops. When I got busted that last time and it was either jail or the army, my loving mother had told me never to come back, playing the victim for all she was worth. Of course the tables turned when I started to make myself rich. I shook my head.

 

Sitting in the parking lot, with my 16-year-old daughter, I went through all the reasons I had not to get married again. None of them were a good enough reason to loose Steph. She exited the building probably 2 and a half hours after we left. Her face was in shock and she was rubbing her stomach again. I wondered what was going on. She showed a lot of leg pulling her jeans on, much to the delight of a group of men sipping coffee near by. I thought about shooting them and decided to leave it. They were right Steph had fantastic legs. She remained in a daze, shaking her head and straddled the Ducati. She took off, heading towards the turnpike. Emily had woken up when I started the engine. She up righted the seat and showed a childlike glee in following Steph.

 

We ended up parked near some restaurants in Philadelphia. An hour later she was back on the bike, heading towards Trenton again. Something was definitely up. Steph wasn’t the kind of person to travel a few hours for food. She was happy where she was if there was food there. Emily’s glee had faded and now she was bored shitless. I gave her my cell phone to play games on.

 

We were soon back in Trenton and Steph headed home, rather than to Lester’s. I couldn’t just pull in behind her. It would look to suspicious, Emily suggested picking up some ribs and greens from Big Jim’s for dinner and it sounded like a good idea to me. We got enough for three and headed home. When we got there, Steph was crashed out on the couch, cuddled around a cushion. It made my heart ache to see her in such a familiar manner after what seemed like forever. We decided not to wake her. Instead I picked her up and carried her into our bedroom. I had to pause and remember to breath when she relaxed and sighed into my neck.

 

“Ranger.” She murmured and her fingers grasped at my shirt. I laid her down stripping off her jeans, jacket and shoes. She lay on our bed in that little green dress, looking like a wet dream. She sighed and stretched out; if I weren’t hard by now that move would have done it. As it was I was already hard and that movement came closing making me come in my pants. I stepped into the bathroom and splashed cold water on my face. It didn’t do much for me, but it gave me time to compose myself. I returned to the bedroom and pulled the dress off her putting one of my t-shirts on her. I left her bra and panties on her; I didn’t think it would go down well if I took them off. I pulled the sheet up and she kicked it off again. I sat next to her and smoothed my hand over her forehead. She rolled into me and wrapped an arm around me. I pulled away and left the room. I needed time to get myself composed. What little I had she shot to hell whenever she touched me. I found Emily in the kitchen drinking some juice and getting ready for bed.

 

“I’m not that hungry. I’m just gonna go to sleep.”

 

I nodded. “Did you take your pill?”

 

“Yes.” She smiled at me and gave me a kiss on the cheek. “You should go to Steph. Fix this.”

 

I shrugged. I didn’t know how I was going to. I returned to the bedroom and stripped down to boxers. Looking at Steph, I knew it would be better to not sleep in the same bed, but we were partially clothed and I couldn’t help myself. She had always been able to strip me of my self-control. Ever since that first night after the DeChooch thing. I climbed on to the bed and Stephanie wrapped herself around me. She crawled up over me, coming to rest on my chest. Her legs lay either side of me and her head was pillowed on my shoulder. It had been along time since either of us had slept like this and I was sure it was going to be a long time before I went to sleep like this. At close to oh-four hundred hours Steph rolled off me and on to her side. I spooned her and fell into sleep, not having a clue as to why she had left and not having a clue as to how I could fix any of this.

 

****************

 

I woke with Ranger spooning me. It felt natural, like something you do every day feels right. I relaxed into his body for a while, remembering what it was like to wake with him and go to sleep next to him. Not that it had happened much in the past few years I realised. It had steadily been happening less and less over the last 3 or 4 years. In the beginning we always used to go to sleep together and wake together. It seemed like forever that it had happened and I missed it.

 

I started to pull away only to be hauled back by Ranger’s arm. I started to struggle and he had me pinned before he was fully awake. When he was awake and functioning I pushed him off and he went willingly. I found my clothes folded neatly on my dresser. Great Ranger had stripped me off and dressed me in one of his shirts. It still smelled like him. I grabbed my clothes and headed for the bathroom.

 

“Wait.” I turned to Ranger.

 

“What?”

 

“I want to talk to you.”

 

“It can wait until I’m dressed.”

 

“No it can’t. I want to talk now.” I threw my clothes onto the floor. He was the clean freak, not me.

 

“So talk.”

 

“Why did you leave?”

 

“This can wait 10 minutes Ranger. I want to shower.”

 

“You leave, with no explanation and I’ve been waiting for weeks now. I don’t want to wait anymore.”

 

“Ranger…” I wasn’t sure I wanted to fight this morning. I was feeling spaced out from the sensation of waking in his arms this morning. I wanted the feeling to last for a few hours at least.

 

“You just up and left! No explanations. Nothing!” Ok, Ranger was close to yelling now. No way this mood was going to last. It made me pissy.

 

“What’s your point?” Hey, he started it.

 

“After 5 years together, you don’t think I deserve an explanation? We were in a committed relationship and you just up and leave!”

 

“Committed? Committed? Where the hell was the commitment? There’s no rings on this finger!” I was angry now. It wasn’t yet 8am and it was too early for this kind of shit.

 

“You moved into my house. Isn’t that commitment enough?”

 

“No! And I didn’t move in! You moved me in!”

 

“Christ Stephanie. If it pissed you off, why didn’t you say anything?”

 

“It’s not that you did it that pissed me off Ranger. It’s that you never asked. As per fucking usual!” I hadn’t wanted to have this argument here and now, but he had started it. Probably if we had this talk as a conversation, rather than an argument I’d have softened the blows a little. But he got his way. He always did.

 

“What the hell does that mean?” Ranger’s face showed confusion. It shouldn’t, everything was perfectly clear.

 

“When was the last time you asked what I wanted? When was the last time you asked for my input into any of the decisions around here?”

 

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

 

“When Emily moved in, did you ask me what I thought about it?” I hadn’t wanted to bring her into it, but she was just the latest example of his behaviour.

 

“No, but she’s my daughter.” He paused a second. “Are you saying you left because Emily moved in?”

 

“No! Its not about her, its about you! And did it ever occur to you that this is my home too? That maybe I should have some say in who comes to live with us? And while we’re talking about Emily, did you once, just once ever thank me for taking care of her? No! Not once did you say, thank you. Not once did you ask me to take care of her!” I was yelling now. I was incredibly angry, where I had only been mildly annoyed before.

 

“I didn’t have too! You were already doing it!”

 

“Because you weren’t!”

 

“She was happier with you doing it! She didn’t want me to help her! She doesn’t want anything to do with me. My daughter doesn’t like me! She went to you for everything!”

 

“Of course she did! I was the one who did everything for her! I’m the one who took her to school everyday. I’m the one who picked her up. I’m the one who enrolled her at new schools! What the fuck have you done for her?”

 

“I’m the one who pays for her tuition at every new school…” I cut him off; I never knew he could be so thick headed.

 

“Jesus Ranger! She doesn’t want your money, she wants your attention like any normal kid does!”

 

“She can have it anytime she wants. She lives here now doesn’t she?”

 

“Yes Ranger, but she’s not the problem. You’re the one not here. You’re as distant from her as you were when she lived in Miami. She may as well be there now for all the involvement you’ve shown in her life.”

 

“She doesn’t need or want me! She has you!” What an idiot.

 

“I’m not her mother! And I’m not your wife so stop treating me like it!” Oops, that sort of slipped out.

 

“What?”

 

“You’ve been trying to control my life for the past 5 years Ranger. Well surprise! I’m all grown up and can take care of myself! I could before you were in my life and it hasn’t changed since you’ve been in it!”

 

“I’m sorry. I didn’t realise you felt that way.” Ranger slumped back on the bed. He does a major about face and now I can’t yell at him.

 

I muttered to myself instead. “There’s a lot you don’t realise.”

 

“Now what does that mean?” He was sounding kind of pissy again.

 

“It means you threw me into a wall and not once did you apologise!” My voice steadily got louder.

 

“Of course I apologised for that.”

 

“No you didn’t Ranger. You picked me up, asked if I was ok, kissed me until I couldn’t talk and proceeded to fuck me!” My voice sounded detached and clinical even to me as I remembered that morning.

 

“I didn’t realise sex was such a problem for you. I thought you enjoyed it.”

 

I sighed. “Of course I do, I did.” I stumbled a bit and picked it up. “Sex isn’t the problem Ranger. It’s that we use sex to not talk about our problems.” I used to think it was a fine thing, but I was slowly realising that nothing had gotten resolved. Well I hadn’t resolved anything anyway. “The fact that I enjoy it doesn’t change the fact that we don’t talk about what’s bothering us.”

 

“Ok, so instead of trying to talk about what was bothering you, you just leave me?” He sounded kind of disbelieving, and I could understand it. Listening to that last bit of his argument made me sound more irrational than I really am.

 

“When are you going to realise this isn’t about me! It’s about you! Again!”

 

“What does that mean? Again.”

 

“Its always about you! What you want, how you want it, where you want it!”

 

“You’re not making any sense at all.”

 

I tried to see if I could clarify it. “Tell me the last time you asked my opinion on anything not having to do with Emily.” There was a pause and Ranger opened and closed his mouth. “You cant can you?”

 

“No.”

 

“Because you never have!” I screamed it at him. I reeled myself back in. I was getting out of control and I’m never at my best when I let my emotions get the better of me.

 

“Emily is one of the most important things in my life. I always asked you about her.”

 

“Only because you have no fucking idea what you’re doing.”

 

“I know.”

 

“Its easy to find out Ranger.” We were both calm again, talking like strangers, distant.

 

“How easy?”

 

“Ask her.” He looked at me like I had proposed he scale Everest in shorts.

 

“Just like that?”

 

“Just like that. Sometimes you’re so male I want to strangle you.”

 

He smiled at me and I watched it slowly fade from his eyes first then his lips. “If you didn’t leave because of Emily then why did you leave?”

 

I screamed in pure frustration. I counted to 10 just to make sure he got the point. “We’ve just been through all this!!”

 

“We were talking about Emily.”

 

“Fuck Ranger! Fuck! Don’t you ever listen? Christ!” I took a deep breath and plunged in before Ranger could speak again. “Ok, how about I left because you took me for granted. I left because you treat me like your wife and Emily’s mother and I’m neither! How about because you keep trying to take control of my life when I’m capable on my own! How about I left because I had 5 years of problems build up and no way to release the frustrations!”

 

“And you think it’s all my fault?”

 

“No Ranger. Partly its mine as well. But from now on, it’s going to be about me and not you for once.”

 

“How can it all be about me, when everything I've done in the past 5 years I’ve done for you!”

 

“What?”

 

“Yeah, and you never once noticed did you? Almost all of Trenton knows where we live and I did it for you! I broke of all illegal ties that could have hurt us and I did it for you! I took a loss of millions of dollars and I did it for you! Everything I did I did it for you, so tell me how it can all be about me!”

 

“That’s what everything comes down to with you isn’t Ranger? Money?” I shrugged a shoulder and picked up my clothes. “When you figure out that money is the least important thing in your life come talk to me. Until then leave me the fuck alone.”

 

I left the bedroom and went into the guest room. I didn’t bother to shower, I’d do that when I got back to Lester’s and got some clean clothes. Instead I got dressed, tucking the green dress into my jeans and pulling the jacket over the top of it. I could have borrowed a shirt of Emily’s but I was hoping she was still asleep and I didn’t really want to talk to her. I just wanted to get out of this place and crawl into a ball. I felt scraped raw from the argument with Ranger.

 

I stopped in the living room to pick up my bag where I had dropped it last night before I had fallen asleep and there on the wall were the framed jeans. I hadn’t seen them because I had come in and sat facing away from them. They were mounted on a white backing board and surrounded by a navy blue boarder. The frame was a rich reddish colour wood. It looked surprisingly great hung on our walls, surrounded by smaller frames of photos of Ranger and I and friends and family. I got close to it and there was a small golden plaque engraved with, ‘The Jeans That Made Steph Happy’.

 

I grinned a small grin and stepped away. It hadn’t been the jeans. It had been the way Ranger had been touching me, and the look in his eyes when I pulled them up. One soft touch of his hand would have had the same affect. One soft touch of his lips on mine would have done it. I felt Ranger staring at me and swung around to find him leaning against the doorjamb. He was still in his boxers and the morning light coming through the window behind him framed his silhouette beautifully. My eyes teared up again and I ran out of the house before he could see them.

 

I got on the Ducati and had to pull over half way to Lester’s place. I was crying so hard now I couldn’t see the road. I sat hunched on my bike for close to an hour crying. I cried because I wanted Ranger back and I had just made it harder to get him back. I cried because Emily was involved. I cried because my body missed Ranger as much as my heart and head. And I cried because it was cathartic. By the time I got back to Lester’s I was ready to get on with my life, with or without Ranger. Of course I’d have preferred with, but a girl has to have priorities. And my first priority was to get myself a new apartment.

 

Chapter 14

 

The weeks rolled by and Ranger and Emily’s relationship declined. I had moved out from Lester’s into my own place again. I hated it. Sure the place was nice enough, it was the fact that I was lonely I hated. The catalyst between Ranger and Me came one quiet Thursday evening when Emily showed up on my doorstep with bag and laptop in hand. The look on her face was pathetic. I’m sure mine was more so. I had been able to avoid Ranger for the last week. Not anymore though. With a sigh I let her through the door and set her up in my room. She set up her laptop and soon the phone was tied up and the taping of keys could be heard through the door. I called Tank on my cell from the bathroom, betting he was with Ranger.

 

He answered with, “Hey Steph.”

 

“Hey, busy?”

 

“Bout to go on a man hunt.” His voice was wry.

 

“You didn’t think to call me?”

 

“Was gonna be our first port of call. She there then?”

 

“Uh huh.”

 

“Well then. She’s at Steph’s, Ranger.” There was a mumbling and the phone changed hands.

 

“Babe?”

 

I squeezed my eyes closed. Babe. “Yeah?” My voice came out on a whisper.

 

“She ok with you for a bit?” There had been a pause before he spoke softly.

 

“Fine.”

 

“Thanks. I’ll be by later.”

 

“Sure.” I hit end on the phone and sank to the floor. Damn, damn, double damn. All that avoiding for nothing.

 

I opened the door an hour later to find the A team standing on my doorstep. Damn, 6 guys dressed in fatigues guns on hips looking mighty hot. The gleam in their eye’s however signalled danger. My gut clenched and I started to back away. I took three quick steps and spun. “I’ll get Emily.”

 

I walked briskly though the apartment and shut the door to the bedroom, Emily was sitting on the bed looking at me expectantly. My room had been ransacked, everything had been cleared off my dresser and bedside stands into bags that were now sitting near the door. My eyes darted from Emily, to the empty spaces to the doors leading to the small balcony. Emily stepped forwards.

 

“Shit.”

 

I bolted and tried to ignore the stampeding sound of 6 big guys running when Emily yelled, “She’s running!”

 

I was half way out the window when two strong arms wrapped around my stomach and hauled me back inside. I fought like a mad woman, and with all the training I had in the past few years it took three of them to hold me down and one of them to cuff me to the bed. I’m sure that just one of them could have got me pinned, after all, they were the professionals at this kind of shit, they were just being gentle, I wasn’t, I fought dirty and there’d be numerous bruises and a few contusions to prove it. I was left in my room by myself for quite some time. I knew these guys would never hurt me and I fell asleep listening to them bang and bash around my small apartment.

 

I woke up groggy and aching in the pitch black. I didn’t know what time it was, but it felt late… or early depending on what side of the day you were looking at it from. I moved and woke up Ranger who was sleeping next to me.

 

“Steph?” His voice was rough and sleep worn. My blood rushed to my groin at the thought of what happens when Ranger talks like that in the middle of the night. “Are you ok?”

 

I pulled my arms to wrap them around him and remembered where I was. I was still cuffed by both wrists to the bed head. I was instantly furious and started to kick at him. I landed one good blow with my knee to his thigh before he rolled on my and pinned me to the bed.

 

“You bastard! What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” I was breathing heavily from the little game of footsies and from the feeling of Ranger’s cock pressed hard against my underwear. I had the brief thought that one fast sharp jab could drive him though my underwear and straight up into me, filling me oh-so-satisfactorily. I went limp with the thought and took a deep breath to calm myself. There was no reply from Ranger and from the look on his face I wasn’t expecting one any time soon. I did an eye roll while he watched and turned to see what had happened to my stuff that the little brat Emily had put into bags.

 

The were gone, and so was the cupboard and the bedside tables… all that was left in the room was the bed, the covers and the curtains. Ranger sank his teeth into my neck and I forgot all about my missing furniture. I arched into him and spread my legs so he could fit into me better. I went to pull my arms around him and once again couldn’t move. I yanked and swore at Ranger. He lifted his head again and grinned at me. A tight, smug smile and I knew exactly what was going though his head.

 

“Remember the first time I got you cuffed like this? You had the best sex of your life. So you said.” He moved his head to go back to my neck and I ducked my chin. For once in my life I wasn’t going to be distracted by him and his body, and his moves, and sex and Omigod… His mouth covered my nipple through my t-shirt.

 

“The difference is last time I was willing, and my arms didn’t hurt afterwards.” I was pretty sure that I was going to have to walk around with my arms in the air for the rest of my life. Ranger ignored me and kissed back up my chest pulling away when I ducked my chin to keep him away from my neck. I knew my weak spots and so did he.

 

 “Remember when you finally got me cuffed like this for the first time?” Oh boy, did I. “Remember how much we both enjoyed that?”

 

“I remember.” I hated that my voice was husky with longing. “How about you put the cuffs on and we relive that night?”

 

Ranger laughed. “Like you wouldn’t be out the door and running the minute you got one cuff on me to the bed.” He was right so I didn’t bother to reply. He sat up and picked up a key from the floor on his side of the bed. He un-cuffed one hand and re-cuffed it to his wrist. He then un-cuffed my other hand before throwing the key against the wall under the window. He turned us on our sides so he was spooning me one arm under my neck the other arm that was cuffed to me wrapped around me so we had our hands curled up on my chest. 5 minutes later the pins and needles hit.

 

I stayed very still until Ranger moved behind me causing me to cry out in pain. W both lay very still for the next ten minutes until the pins and needles dissipated. Ranger sat us up and had me move my arms and shoulders to get the blood flowing again before we lay down again to sleep. 20 minutes later Ranger whispered in my ear, “Sorry Babe.”

 

I lay there studiously ignoring him until I fell asleep just as the birds were starting to chirp. I was flung into consciousness at around about 9ish when Ranger threw open the curtains. I knew it was 9ish by the sunlight glaring directly into my eyes. And of course, when I moved my arms to cover my eyes I couldn’t. Ranger had cuffed me to the bed. Again.

 

“You’re going to hell. You know that right?”

 

“You think?”

 

“I know.” I was going to send him there myself.

 

Ranger looked down on me. Standing so he shaded my face from the glare of the sun. “You ready to get out of bed?”

 

I considered ignoring him, but my bladder was screaming. “Un-cuff me.” Just because he was giving me an opportunity to get out of bed didn’t mean I had to be gracious about it.

 

Ranger, obviously realising the futility in making me say please, leaned over taking the cuff from the bed head, snapping it on his wrist, brushing his groin against my face. I turned into it biting the cloth barely missing his cock. He stepped back slowly, pulling the cloth from between my teeth with a twist of his hips. I looked at him spitefully hating the grin that was barely showing at the corners of his mouth.

 

“Tut, tut Stephanie, only good girls get to shower un-cuffed. Now you’ll have to pay the price.” I had an instant flashback to the night he came and took DeChooch in…

 

“DeChooch is fine, but we have unfinished business.”

 

“Like what?” When you don’t know what emotion to display, go with attitude I always say.

 

“Don’t pretend you don’t know Stephanie. You know exactly what I’m talking about.”

 

I cleared my throat and licked my suddenly dry lips. “What business is it exactly you’re talking about. I’ve got a lot of unfinished business floating around.” Well not really, not since Ranger took my last pending case in tonight, but he didn’t know that.

 

“Don’t play games Stephanie. We made a deal, and I’m here to collect. Its time for you to pay the price.”

 

“Excuse me?” Ranger crawled sinuously up the bed, across my legs and lowered himself bodily onto me, breathing in my ear as he whispered.

 

“You agreed to this Babe.” He pulled an earlobe into his mouth and bit down gently. Truth was, I didn’t think the agreement held, truth is, I didn’t think Ranger would actually call me on the deal. “It’s a turn on isn’t it? Being scared. Youre turned on by the unknown, and I’m turned on because you want me despite your fears.”

 

Sure I was turned on, and scared, but anger was quickly overtaking both of those emotions. I poked Ranger in the ribs and pushed him to roll when he jumped so I ended up straddling him entangled in sheets. “Listen, Ranger, I may be scared, and I may be turned on, but youre pissing me off here. Do you think I don’t know my own mind that you have to break in here and force me into paying off on a deal we made?”

 

I leaned down and bit his bottom lip, whispering against his mouth. “I am a woman Ranger, I am not a lady, I know what I want and who I want. I know when I want and where I want. You think you, you of all people in my life, can pressure me into doing something I want? Into doing someone I don’t want?”

 

I moved my mouth down and bit the pulse in his neck, leaving teeth marks before moving up to whisper in his ear. “Yes, I’m scared, you scare me, yes, it turns me on, and yes, I want you. But do you think you can come into my home, into my bedroom and make demands of me?”

 

Never before or after this moment had I ever felt so powerful, sexy and alive. My skin was hurting, my body aching, I wanted and I needed to be touched, but not if I wasn’t going to call the shots. It was my home, my room, my bed. I could feel how turned on Ranger was, his pulse was racing under my teeth marks, his cock was hard under the sheets, his clothes and me. The grip of his hands against my hips was painful to the point of pleasure.

 

“Steph…”  I pressed my hand against his mouth.

 

“Shut up, Ranger.” I looked him over, sitting up properly again. I followed his strong arms with my eyes to his hands to my hips and back again. I took my hand off his mouth and felt his face with my fingertips, down his neck, over his shoulders and down his arms to his hands. I pulled them off my hips. I pulled wriggled around and pulled him up so I could peel his shirt off. He leaned back on his arms in a reclined position. I raked my nails down his chest, slowly, deliberately, watching white marks form in their wake. He took a half gasping breath in.

 

“Babe…”

 

I dug my fingers into his stomach and felt as the muscles contracted. “We do this my way Ranger, or not at all.”

 

“Anyway you want.”

 

I nodded, “Good.”

 

I snapped back to present. “Fuck you Ranger.”

 

He grinned. “Maybe.”

 

I yanked on the cuff pulling in the direction of the bathroom. “In your dreams buddy.”

 

He pulled me back and slammed me up against the wall, pushing his body hard up against mine till I couldn’t move. “Every fucking night Stephanie. I’m tired of waking up like a teenage boy. I want you back, and that’s why I’m here. I love you, you love me and I’m not leaving until you leave with me.”

 

We were both breathing hard, as if the past two seconds of physical activity had made us breathless. I knew better, it was the proximity of Ranger’s naked torso, the feel of his leg hair rough against mine, the way his hands clenched around my upper arms. Ranger up close had always been something to be in awe of. Ranger, up close and looking for a release, of any kind, frustration, sexual, was something to lust after, to fear and most of all, something to look forward to. Ranger rarely let things build up. He had an explosive temper, quick to anger, quick to calm. When something got to him, like a skip getting away, and he didn’t let it out or blow off steam, usually by exercising, he’d start to prowl. The look on his face, lustful and almost, hungry with anticipation.

 

Ranger had been stalking me around my apartment since around 7pm. We had a date to go out for dinner and I had slept through the alarm. He had woken me up, shaking me roughly and dragged me out of bed. He seemed kinda jumpy and kind of even nervous. I’d asked him what was wrong and he jumped at the sound of my voice. Nothing was wrong. So I continued on my merry way, taking my time. He was barely a step behind me, every time I turned around, I ran into him. I told him to stop. “Go sit down would you. You’re bugging  me.”

 

He did, but by the time I was in my bra and undies he was back at it. Eventually it pissed me off enough for me to yell at him. “For God’s sake! Would you back off? Take a step away and just back the fuck off!”

 

His eyes narrowed and I watched as his eyes raked up and down my body, less than a foot away from his. I watched his eyes go from brown and lustful, to black with hunger and need. He started to slowly, very slowly back me across the room, stalking me until I hit the wall. I’d flinched I remembered later, and he was on me. Ripping my bra and panties off, biting me, kissing me, grabbing me, pinching me, squeezing me, squashing me, touching me.

 

            His pants were barely to his knees before he was in me, and I barely had time to grab hold, before I was up and wrapped around him. The first time that night, we cracked the plaster of the wall in my living room. The second time my knees got carpet burn. I lost count and track of the injuries after the third round. I remember going into the relationship thinking I knew all about marathon efforts in bed. I remember waking up the next day, not very inclined to move at all, thinking I had no, absolutely, no idea what I had been on about before.

 

I remember the next day moving from my bed to my couch and back again. And I remember having no regrets about the night whatsoever afterwards. I also remember that we didn’t make it out to dinner that night. Dinner didn’t even make it in to us.