Ring Ring Ring

Stephanie’s cell phone was ringing. It sounded different to her, but then again, by lying on her side the cold she was currently suffering from had blocked up one and a half ears. She could also have sworn that she left her phone charging on the kitchen bench. Stephanie dug it up from under her on the couch.

“’Lo?”

“You’re not sounding so crash hot old man.” It was a young girl’s voice.

“Honey I think you’ve got the wrong number. Who’re you looking for?”

“Oh, um I’m looking for my dad, Ricardo Manoso.” Stephanie pulled the phone away from her ear and took a better look at it. It wasn’t her phone. She thought it must have fallen out of Ranger’s pocket when he came to visit her earlier. Shit.

“Hello?” Stephanie put the phone back to her ear but Ranger’s daughter had hung up. So that was what his daughter sounded like Stephanie thought to herself. Stephanie could admit to herself that she felt an intense curiosity about Ranger, and it hadn’t lessened with recent events, if anything it had intensified. She scrambled around to get up so she could get her phone to call Ranger to tell him to come get his phone when it rang again. Stephanie debated for about ten seconds on whether to answer it again, but in the end her blatant curiosity won out. Besides, she’d reasoned that maybe it was Ranger calling to see where his phone was.

“Hello?”

“It’s me again, but wait! This is your dad’s phone.”

“Oh. Why are you answering his phone? Is he there with you?” There was no inflection in her voice. Something Stephanie thought she must have learnt from her father.

“No he’s not here. Best I can tell is it must have fallen out of his pocket when he was here earlier.”

“Oh. You still don’t sound so crash hot you know?”

“I’ve got a cold. It tends to not make anyone sound good.”

“You should drink lots of fluids and get lots of sleep. That’ll get you better faster.” There was a thermos of some concoction of honey stuff that Ranger had brought around earlier that Stephanie hadn’t been game enough or desperate enough to try yet. Not that she was going to tell her that. “My dad gave me this recipe for a hot honey and lemon drink that’s fantastic. You should try it. It tastes kinda bad, but it works.”

“What’s your name?” She was eerily like her father.

“Emily Manoso. What’s yours?”

“Stephanie Plum. Tell me Emily, are you always so friendly with strangers?”

“You’ve got my dad’s phone. You cant be much of a stranger.”

“How do you know that I’m not lying about this being his phone? Maybe I’m an axe wielding maniac who’s wired your phone lines?”

She giggled. “You’re funny. A little weird, but funny. Besides, this is a secure line.”

Stephanie rolled my eyes, Ranger’s paranoia stretched a few thousand miles to another state all the way on the other end of the nation. “I’d better get off and call your dad so he can come and get his phone. Want me to tell him you called?”

“Did you know it’s my dads birthday tomorrow?”

Stephanie was starting to consider curiosity a bitch. “How old will he be?”

“33 this year. I think. It could be 32. I can never remember. Are you gonna get him a present? I sent mine earlier this week. I was just ringing to tell him he wasn’t allowed to open it till tomorrow.”

Buy Ranger a present? What could Stephanie ever get Ranger that he could possibly want or need that he didn’t have? Aside from the obvious. And he was getting that. “What do you think I should get him?”

“Well I sent him all the standard stuff. And this year I sent him a first edition of Chaucer that I stumbled across in a used bookstore. He likes stuff like that.”

“What does the standard stuff include?” Curiosity was going to get her sent to hell, she thought, here she was pumping Ranger’s kid for information, she could see it causing health problems for her in the near future.

“He’s not like other dad’s. I have to send him digital copies of all my school stuff, like reports and grades and things. Any essays I write and dumb stuff like that. What kind of absent father gives a shit about stuff like that? I mean sure, its nice and all, but I could do without the lectures afterwards.” Stephanie squashed the urge to ask if she ever needed to breathe. “But this year, I won the state technology fair in my age group, so I sent him a copy of the computer game I wrote. He can’t possibly lecture me on that right?”

“Right-“

“Right! So anyways, I sent down all this year’s pictures and stuff, so he can see what a nerd I’ve turned into. I really, really, really want to get contacts, but mum and him have made an agreement, that I can’t test for the operation until I’m 16, and I cant have contacts until then either. You’d think for someone like him, he’d understand the need for me to not be the biggest nerd in the school. Just because he was, doesn’t mean I have to be, right? So I told my best friend Krista this and she says that we should just go to the optometrist by ourselves after school one day and get the testing done without either mom or dad knowing. What can they say after its all done? Krista’s older sister says she’s willing to pretend to be my legal guardian so she can sign the permission forms and everything cause I’m not old enough and probably if we went to the south side, we could find a doctor who wouldn’t enquire into it too much. Although, it’d have to be on a Friday cause my mom would never let me stay over on a school night. Its weird how parents think like that isn’t it? I mean, you’d think they’d realise that kids would be more enthusiastic to get up in the morning when they have someone to get up with. Right?”

“I think its more to do with the fact that you’re more likely to stay awake all night talking and giggling so you wouldn’t want to get up in the morning. Not the school night thing.”

Stephanie decided to stay wide away from any of Emily’s plans for rule breaking. Especially one as dumb as the one she was thinking of. She thought she probably should have spoken some kind of words of wisdom, but Emily was very much Ranger’s kid, Stephanie didn’t doubt for a minute that Emily would only listen if she liked what she heard. Well she was very much Ranger’s kid except for the fact that she spoke faster and more than anyone Stephanie knew except maybe Sue Anne Grubeck.

“I guess so. Did you ever stay over on a school night?”

“Rarely. If it was a special occasion sometimes I did.”

“My mom is sooo strict, I can’t believe it sometimes. Like just yesterday, she wouldn’t let me go down to the mall with Krista and her sister just because I got detention for hitting Lori Sanchez with my science book! I didn’t do it on purpose, well no one was watching to see me do it on purpose! But they gave me detention, cause Lori’s such a brown noser and I made her bleed all over Mrs Do’s dress. I don’t think that’s fair do you?”

“Umm-“

“Exactly, so my mom and me had this huge fight about it and now I’m like grounded for forever just about. It’s so unfair. I bet my dad wouldn’t ground me. He breaks peoples noses all the time. Uncle Manny told me.” Emily took a quick breath in. “So how do you know my dad? Are you dating him?”

Stephanie wouldn’t call it dating, but she wasn’t going there. “I work with him.”

“Oh, that’s too bad. I like you. But have you ever seen my dad break someone’s nose? Or shoot someone? I’ve been reading up on guns and stuff. Do you carry a gun?”

“No.” Well technically I didn’t actually carry a gun. Not anymore.

“You should get one. Get a nine millimetre. Arm yourself with hydroshocks. My dad told me that they go in nice a smooth but they can blow out a hole on exit like a potato exploding in a microwave.”

Ranger had told Stephanie something similar to that before and she’d succeeded in blanking the image out until now.

“So do you know what you’re gonna get my dad for his birthday? I think you should get him a maid service. I’ve never been to his home in Trenton, but I’ve had holidays with him, and I bet you that if his house is anything like what his room is like when we’re on vacation, then it’s a horrible mess. If I owned my own place then I’d be a slob too, but my mom makes me clean my room. I hate cleaning, it’s such a crap job. I always know where everything is so why should bother to put it in it’s Right Place?”

“I agree with you on that one. I’m not much of a fan of cleaning either.” Stephanie did it only when it absolutely had to be done or when she was hormonal.

“Well my excuse is its genetic. My dad’s a slob, but then my mom counters with that she’s a clean freak, so at least some of it should have rubbed off. I don’t agree, my dad’s genes seemed to have bred true. I’ve got the straight dark hair like his, not moms afro. I’ve got lighter skin than mom and I’m tall and gangly like dad as a kid, not short and fat like mom. And tall is ok, but I hate the gangly! I’ve only got one training bra. I really wish I had some of mom’s genes there. I don’t think I'm ever gonna grow titties, but uncle Manny assures me that I will someday. But what does he know? He’s my mom’s brother. I have seen a few pictures of my dad’s sisters. He has like 300 of them, and they all have big titties, so why haven’t I?” Emily finally felt the need to breathe and Stephanie took the opportunity to butt in.

“You’re what? 13?”

“12.”

“You should probably wait until puberty really kicks in before you worry about that then.”

“Yeah, but Charlie Rogers likes girls with titties. He told Brian who told Micah who told Lauren who told Krista that that’s the only reason he’s dating Lori. Cause she has titties. But then, I’m not allowed to date until I’m sixteen, so why should I even care what stupid Charlie thinks?”

Emily sounded truly confused. “I wouldn’t worry about Charlie. If you really do take after your dad you’re gonna grow up to be gorgeous and Charlie and hundreds of others will be begging to date you then.”

“You really think so?”

“Sure.” It hadn’t been my experience, but anything was possible. “Besides, by the time you’re sixteen, there will be much cuter guys around to worry about what dumb old Charlie thinks.”

“Cool. Hey! Can I have your number? Cause I have to go, but it’s been fun talking to you and I think I’d like to do it again sometime.”

Stephanie hesitated. “You should ask your dad for my number, if he wants to give it to you, then you can call me when ever you want.”

“Ok, will you tell my dad I called and that he has to call me back as soon as he possibly can? But if it’s late, just tell him not to open his present and that I’ll call him tomorrow? Well at least I’ll try. Sometimes its hard to get five minutes alone from Grammy Bethy”

“Sure.”

“Ok, thanks! Bye Stephanie, it was great to meet you. Well, talk to you. Bye!”

“B-.” She had hung up. Just like her father.

Stephanie crawled off the lounge and grabbed her phone texting a message to Ranger’s pager that she had his phone. She drank the drink from the thermos, which wasn’t too ghastly, she added a bunch of sugar and it was better. Stephanie wrote a note telling Ranger that Emily had called and he was to call her back ASAP or if it was too late not to bother, just that he couldn’t open his package until tomorrow and she’d try to call him then.

Stephanie added a post script that if she was feeling better tomorrow and if he had no plans they were going to order dinner in and celebrate his birthday, then she fell face down on the couch, feeling drained like a tornado by the name of Emily had just whirled though her head and fell asleep. She woke up hours later to find more of the honey lemon drink and a scribbled note to say Ranger would be by at six tomorrow night for dinner. Stephanie had a feeling that even if she wasn’t feeling better, he’d be by anyways.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Hey Baby.”

“Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday dear Daddy, happy birthday to you!”

Ranger loved his daughter, but one thing she was not, was a good singer. “Hows my favourite girl?”

“I’m fantastic. I’m the greatest kid in the world. Even if I do look like a big freak with these spastic glasses on.”

“Yeah and you cant sing either.”

“Da-aad!” Ranger could have sworn he heard the eye roll. Just how long had Emily and Stephanie spoken?

“My birthdays not till tomorrow anyway. Why are you making that awful racket?”

“I’ve gotta spend tomorrow at Grammy Bethy’s.” Ranger’s grin widened.

“Surely its not that bad?”

“Oh daddy, you have No Idea. I can barely go to the bathroom by myself. And I’m big enough to do that by myself.”

Ranger laughed. “Yes, you are.”

“I even own a training bra now. Even though Stephanie said I shouldn’t worry about not having much to fill them until puberty really kicks in. Did she give you my message? Is that why you’re calling? Is she there?”

“She’s asleep. But she left a note.” Ranger looked over at Stephanie from where he sat at her kitchen table waiting for her to wake up. The note wasn’t something he wanted left unattended and he didn’t want to respond without actually finding out what Stephanie and Emily had talked about. He wouldn’t put it past Stephanie to actually pump his daughter for information, even unintentionally. God knows his kid could talk a car salesman into the ground.

“That’s good, she really didn’t sound very well when I was speaking to her. I told her to drink lots and get lots of rest. I’m glad she listened, she was so nice. I really like her dad.”

“Uh huh.” He didn’t take the bait.

“She told me that if I grew up to be as gorgeous as you I wouldn’t have to worry about Charlie Rogers asking me out on a date, cause there’d be hundreds of other much cuter guys wanting to date me.”

“Who’s Charlie Rogers?” Ranger wasn’t taking the ‘gorgeous’ bait either. His daughter was a smart kid. Too smart at times, but not as clever or as subtle as she thought she was.

“He’s in my class daddy. He’s dating Lori cause she has titties.”

“I don’t think he sounds like someone you should date even if you were allowed.”

“When did your sisters grow their titties daddy? Cause I’m dying here!”

“When they were older than you.” Ranger really didn’t want to have this conversation. That’s what her mother was meant to be for.

“Stephanie said that I shouldn’t worry that it would happen eventually.”

“She did huh?”

“Yeah, she’s really funny daddy. Told me that I shouldn’t be talking to strangers, even if they were on your phone, cause they could be lying about it being your phone, but I told her that this was a secure line, so there was no need for me to worry.”

“Really. She was right.”

“Uh huh. And we talked about my dumb glasses, and about Krista, and about you being a slob. And then we talked about how you were a nerd in school and she agrees with me that-“

“You told her I was a nerd in school?”

“Yeah, and she agrees with me that I shouldn’t have to be a nerd and wear glasses until I’m sixteen just cause you were a nerd when you were a kid.”

“She does huh?” Ranger wondered what Stephanie thought of him being a nerd at school. He wondered if she even believed Emily, sometimes Ranger found it hard to believe what a little geek he’d been. And he’d lived it.

“Yeah. Why do I have to wait until I’m sixteen? That’s the dumbest rule ever.”

“We’ve talked about this.”

“And I still hate it!”

“Nothing I can do about it baby.”

“Did mom tell you she grounded me? And I couldn’t go to the mall with Krista the other day all cause of that stupid-“

“Why were you grounded?”

“I was trying to tell you! Stupid dumb cow faced Lori-“

“And what have I told you about saying things like that about other people?”

“But she is daddy! Lori is such a bitch! And she-“

“Don’t swear. And why were you grounded?”

“I bet Stephanie’s allowed to swear.”

“Stephanie’s a grown woman. Why were you grounded?” Sometimes getting an answer out of Emily was like pulling teeth. The less she wanted you to know about something the more painful it became. Other times you couldn’t get her to shut up.

“It was an accident, but did old Mrs Do believe me? No just cause dumb cow Lori was bleeding. She’s all the teacher’s favourite.”

“Why were you grounded Emily?”

“I accidentally hit Lori in the nose with my science book and she bled all over Mrs Do’s dress. If she hadn’t bled and whinged and told lies-“

“How did you accidentally hit her in the nose with your science book?”

“Well, see, the funny thing, is that well, Krista and I were doing this thing right? And Lori was butting in as usual and well somehow I hit her with the book!”

“It wasn’t an accident was it?” Ranger rubbed his eyes. Emily had a violent streak wider than his and that was saying something.

“Yes it was!”

“Emily…”

“Ok, it wasn’t, but she deserved it! And its not as if anyone saw me do it! I made sure no one was looking. Stephanie said that-“

“You can’t just hit someone because they’re annoying you Emily.”

“Yeah but-“

“No but’s about it. Did you break her nose?”

“No, it only bled for like two minutes. If Lori wasn’t such a brown noser I wouldn’t have even got detention and mom would never have found out and I’d never have got grounded.”

“But she is, and you did, and she did, and you are.” Ranger looked at the ceiling for some divine intervention. All there was was some spot mould. “I’m not gonna argue with you on this one kiddo. You’re grounded and that’s that.”

“But if you just told mom-“

“Nope.”

“But daaad! Please, I bet if Stephanie were my mom, she wouldn’t ground me! She’d believe me!”

“Only because she doesn’t know you.”

“Do you still love me daddy?”

“Of course. You mightn’t be the nicest kid in the world but you’re mine.”

“I love you too daddy.” Ranger smiled.

“So you told Stephanie that it was my birthday tomorrow did you?”

“Yeah, she has to know to get you a present. I told her I was sending you all the standard stuff and something extra special this time, and she asked me what she should get you and I told her to get you a maid!” Emily started giggling. “She sounded surprised to find out you’re so messy.”

“I’ll bet. So what’s this something special you’re sending?”

“You didn’t get it yet?”

“I haven’t checked my mail.”

“So you haven’t opened it?”

“I don’t have it yet.”

“Oh. Well I’m not telling you. It’s a surprise silly! Stephanie doesn’t like to clean either. Is she as messy as you? Is her place a pigsty like my room? At least that’s what mom says. That I live in a pig-sty and that if a bomb went off in my room you wouldn’t know it.” Ranger looked around. Stephanie’s place was tidier than his, but that wouldn’t be hard. “Stephanie also said she got to stay over on school nights.”

“Did she?”

“Yeah, but usually only for special occasions.” Ranger didn’t want to know what constituted as a special occasion for Stephanie. As far as he knew she was as big a disaster area as a kid as she was now. “So are you dating Stephanie, daddy? I really like her.”

When you couldn’t get a hint across ask flat out. And Ranger wouldn’t call it dating exactly. “She works with me.”

Ranger heard Emily sigh. “That’s what she said too. She told me she doest carry a gun like you though. And I told her to get a nine millimetre and arm herself with hydroshocks. I told her what you told me about the potato in the microwave thing. Did mom tell you that Krista and I burnt the guts out of Krista’s mom’s microwave trying to blow up a potato? I had to use my savings to help replace it. But the potato didn’t blow up so a few days later we tried to use one of the schools cooking rooms microwaves, but the teachers wouldn’t leave us in there unattended.”

Ranger grinned. “I’m glad to hear that. Probably you’d have burnt down the school knowing your luck.”

“Me and Krista-“

“Krista and I.”

“Krista and I are gonna go down to one of the street markets and buy an old microwave to test it out.”

“That’s a better idea. I’ll tell you what, I’ll put $50 in your account if you make it a science experiment for extra credit at school.”

“What kind of experiment could we do with that?”

“I don’t know. You’re the science geek. Test for durability or something. Try different things in the microwave like eggs, oranges and things.” If he couldn’t suppress her urges to destroy stuff he could at least direct it into something with a little more merit than a ghoulish fascination of things that explode like hydroshock bullets out of a persons head.

“Uh oh. I can hear Mom calling and its waaay past my bedtime. Hey daddy can you give me Stephanie’s phone number? She said I had to ask you for it. She said I could call her anytime.”

“She did huh?” Ranger had no intention of giving Emily the right number. In a few weeks she’d forget all about Stephanie. The same couldn’t be said of Stephanie.

“Yeah. She’s really nice. I really like her.”

“I know. You got a pen?” Ranger rattled of a number from the top of his head. “Alright baby, thanks for calling me.”

“That’s ok daddy. I hope you have a great day tomorrow. I’ll be thinking of you.”

“Only so you don’t have to think about the smell of cat’s at Grammy Bethy’s.”

“Not ONLY dad.”

Ranger laughed. “Night kiddo. Love you.”

“Love you too daddy. Happy Birthday.”

“Thanks. Night.”

“Night. Talk to you next week?”

“I’ll call you tomorrow. You can lock yourself in the bathroom.”

“Ok daddy. Bye.”

“B-“ Emily had already hung up, just like her grandmother.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Yo.”

“I think you’re wrong.” Stephanie stoped waiting for Ranger to ask the inevitable.

“I doubt it, but just to be sure, tell me what you’re talking about.”

“This whole no emotional involvement. You’re wrong.”

Ranger didn’t want to go there. “I wasn’t wrong. Was there something else you wanted?”

“You said there was no tab for what we give each other. I want to know what it is I give you.”

“I don’t have time to get into this right now.”

“Make some time.” Stephanie was slightly hung over and in no mood to be put off.

“I’ll be by later. Around ten.”

“Bring pizza!” Stephanie yelled into the phone, not sure if he’d hung up before he heard her or not.

Ranger entered Stephanie’s apartment, not bothering to knock. He saw one bare leg thrown up over the back of her new couch. Peter Pan was playing on her DVD player. Her toenails were painted a bright green, which as bad as it should have been, looked good against her lightly tanned skin. Her foot was bopping along to the music. Suddenly her head popped up over the back of the couch. She smiled.

Ranger was dressed in black swat pants and a tight black t-shirt. His hair was hanging down around his shoulders and had a hand ran though it a few too many times. His black boots were laced tightly over the bottom of his pants. He looked good enough to eat, but Stephanie was distracted.

“That’s not pizza.”

“No, it’s a salad.”

“Your body’s a temple again?” Her nose wrinkled.

“You’re the one who was talking about the extra fat and double chin.”

Stephanie’s hands flew to her neck. Checking to see if he really was teasing or if the little extra fat on her tummy was spreading like the plague. Nothing. Besides, it was easier to do up her jeans, not eating for a week when she was sick with a cold would do that for a person.

Ranger came around the couch, dumping the food on the coffee table and lifted up the leg that was on the seat and sat before pulling it onto his lap. He lightly massaged the big toe and the instep. “I like the green.”

Stephanie turned her head back to the television. “There’s ten minutes left.”

A smile tugged at the corner on Ranger’s mouth and she did her best to ignore it. But she couldn’t ignore his hands on her foot, ankle and calf. She stifled a groan, bighting her bottom lip. Ranger’s hands wandered higher and Stephanie’s concentration went splat. He lifted her leg and kissed her ankle, nipping it lightly. Stephanie bit down on her bottom lip and groaned deep in her throat. She slapped at his hands as they crept up her thighs and under her boxers, sitting up, pulling her leg away from Ranger.

Or at least she tried, before she could get anywhere, Ranger was pinning her to the couch. Leaning up on his elbows, her wrists in his hands, his hips pinning hers, his legs resting between hers. She tried to move, but all her wriggling only succeeded in him coming more firmly into contact with her groin. Not unpleasant, but not what she was hoping to achieve. She attempted to pull her wrists from his grasp, but he tightened his hold, shaking his head at her.

“Nuh uh.” His eyes held hers even as she tried again.

“Dammit Ranger. Let me up.” She was panting, but it wasn’t from her efforts to get away.

“No. Not until we sort a few things out.”

“So talk already. No need to act the thug.” His lips twitched.

“I wasn’t wrong.”

“Yes you were. We’re already emotionally involved.”

“You think?”

“Ranger. You killed Abruzzi, you didn’t do it for no reason at all.”

“He killed himself.”

“Bullshit, you killed him.”

“Babe, he brought it on himself.” Ranger looked at her considering, having felt the fight go out of her body he let her wrists go and stroked her hair back from her forehead. One of Stephanie’s hands tangled in the neck of his shirt at the back, the other in the front.

“Dammit Ranger.”

“Does it bother you?”

“Yes it bothers me! You killed a man Ranger.” He stroked her left eyebrow with his thumb.

“He was a bad person Steph. The cops couldn’t get him and I couldn’t keep you safe with him still on the loose. It was the only solution.”

“It can’t be the only solution. It can’t.”

“What made you wait so long to have this discussion? It’s been over three months.”

“I… I’m not good with this sort of shit. I wanted you to be right about the non involvement thing.”

“I was right.”

“Then why do you feel the need to protect me? Help me?” His hand tightened in her hair. He consciously had to unclench his fist.

“I figure you’re my responsibility. If I hadn’t helped you in the beginning…”

“Crap. I’m no ones responsibility.”

“You’re kidding me right? All the shit you pull? When I first started helping you I figured you’d quit when it got too hard. But you didn’t. You dug in.”

“I’m getting worse at my job.” Ranger nodded.

“Not worse, more careless. In the beginning your mistakes were made cause you didn’t always know what was happening. Now you’re just careless. It’s making you worse at your job.”

“Not anymore. I’m about to become Wonder Woman again.”

“Again? When were you ever Wonder Woman? And are you gonna want help for that?”

“We’ll see. But lets get back to the point.”

“What’s the point?” Ranger ducked his head and lathed his tongue over her neck. “Besides this?”

“If you don’t think you’re emotionally involved you’re wrong.”

“I’m not saying I don’t have emotions for you Steph, I do. But I can’t get involved, I don’t want to.”

“Wrong. If you didn’t want to get involved you wouldn’t be here, you wouldn’t take note of what everyone tells you about me, where I am, what I’m doing. I didn’t get back with Joe quick enough for you and you’ve been trying to wipe him from my head and heart ever since.”

Ranger took a deep breath and smelt her skin and hair. “Have I succeeded?”

“I’ve been trying to get him out since I was six, I haven’t done it, and neither have you, but you’ve been a nice diversion.” Stephanie made the remark hoping to get a reaction from him. It did.

“Diversion? I don’t think so Babe. If I were just a diversion, we wouldn’t be having this conversation.”

“And if you weren’t emotionally involved we wouldn’t be having this conversation. You’d have left long before.” Their eyes were still locked together. Stephanie had a small crease between her eyebrows and Ranger broke eye contact to rub it away with his thumb. “So where does that leave us Ranger?”

Ranger closed his eyes. His life didn’t have room for romantic entanglements he’d known that for a long time now, yet he’d managed to get involved anyways. What was it about Stephanie that got under his skin, he wondered.

“Tell me what it is I give you Ranger? You give me help, advice and back up. What do I give you?”

“You make me laugh.” Stephanie’s eyes met Ranger’s and held them.

“That’s it?”

“Yeah, that’s it.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Stephanie’s phone was ringing. Ranger considered ripping the cord out of the wall but instead he let is ring to the machine.

“You’ve reached me. If you’re trying to sell something, hang up, cause I don’t want to hear it. If it’s an emergency, call my cell. If you don’t have the number then anything you have to say can’t be too important to me. Otherwise, leave a message and I’ll get back to you. Maybe.” Beeeeeeep-

“Stephanie? Stephanie? Are you home? Pick up if you’re there. Come for dinner tonight, we’re having roast pork with vegetables and chocolate mud-cake for desert. I’ll see you at six.” Beep, beep, beep.

Ranger rolled over and hauled Stephanie closer to him. He was close to sleep when the phone rang again. He cursed softly.

“Hey Stephanie! Its Emily, my dad, he gave me the wrong number the big dope, but you were listed on-line, so it’s cool! Anyway, It was soo cool to talk to you, I wish my Mother were more like you and not anal about everything. But its ok, soon I’ll be out of here, well a few years anyways. Krista and I plan on going to New York State! So we’ll be able to meet and everything. Anyway, I was calling to let you know that Charlie Rogers asked me out on a date!! He knows about my parents insaneness involving everything waiting until I’m sixteen, and he’s cool about it, so I’m going to stay at Krista’s house this weekend and I’m going to go from there! I’m So Excited! I’ve gotta go to Grammy Bethy’s now and you cant believe how bad it smells there. I’d rather be anywhere else in the whole wide-“ Beep, beep, beep.

The phone started to ring immediately, Ranger made a move to get up and answer it, but Stephanie murmered in her sleep and pulled him tighter.

“In the whole wide world. I guess I should go now, but I had to say goodbye ya know? And my Mum is gonna take the costs of these calls out of my savings and I’m not gonna have anymore left to go to the fair with. Ok, I’ll talk to you later.” Beep, beep, beep.

Ranger made an on the spot decision that involved grounding his daughter for life and blaming it all on his ex-wife.