She had surprised him tonight. Knocking on their dorm door at a little after nine. They had asked her to go out with them earlier but she had turned them down, wanting to get her essay finished before the weekend. Besides, even though Thursday was campus party night, she still had a hard time getting past the thought that it was a school night. Even if she was one of the lucky ones who didn’t have classes on Friday.

 

Logan had opened the door and the bittersweet smell of marijuana had filled Rory’s nose.

 

He opened the door and stepped aside, letting her pass.

 

“So this was the plan for the evening of fun you invited me out for?”

 

His grin widened. “No, we’da done something else if you’d decided to come.”

 

“Where are Colin and Finn?”

 

“They went for food.”

 

“Oh.”

 

Logan closed the door behind them and gestured for Rory to sit.

 

She stayed standing with her arms wrapped tight around her waist.

 

“It really stinks in here.”

 

He raised an eyebrow at her. “After a three hour session, what else would you expect?”

 

She didn’t look at him as she continued as if he hadn’t spoken. “Can we go somewhere else?”

 

He didn’t say anything, instead he grabbed her hand and pulled her up the stairs into his bedroom. Their apartment was in the newest and most expensive building within walking distance of Yale. Not on campus, but close enough that it was considered campus housing considering the tenants were all students.

 

His room was the largest, with an ensuite where he had left the light on that now dimly illuminated the bedroom.

 

Logan splayed out on his bed.

 

Rory sat on the step to the small balcony with her back to the doorjamb.

 

“Did you get your essay done?” Logan’s voice was soft and seemed to float disembodied across the room from nowhere.

 

“Yes.”

 

“So what’s up Ace? Why’d you come here tonight?”

 

She knew what he was asking, but she didn’t want to face that line of questioning right now. Wasn’t ready to face it.

 

She shifted against the smooth wood as if trying to scratch an itch.

 

“I finished my essay.”

 

“And?”

 

“And I wasn’t in the mood to listen to the girl upstairs have sex so hard that not even playing The Dresden Dolls could drown out the sound of her bed head bashing against the wall.”

 

Logan laughed. “Sometimes that the best sex to have.”

 

“Sure.” Rory shrugged, that kind of sex not really something she’d experienced in her short time of actually having sex. She used to think that sex with Jess would be like that. Knew that sex like that would never be something that happened with Dean. Not only because she was never going to have sex with Dean again, but also just because he was always so damn careful.

 

Dean was just one more person who saw her on a pedestal and was determined to keep her there.

 

No matter what she did to get herself off it.

 

Logan sat up and turned on the bedside lamp. Facing Rory he held out his hand.

 

He never went to her, always made her come to him.

 

She moved from the open doorway and took his hand standing in front of him. They were friends, but Logan had a way of making the smallest gesture seem intimate.

 

His hands cupping hers, pulling her to sit down beside him made her feel cherished.

 

Every caress he ever made she forgave.

 

He pushed her boundaries. And she liked it.

 

The thought constantly in the back of her mind that he might just be the one who pulled her off the pedestal.

 

The one who tarnished the perfect surface everyone coated her in.

 

Rory knew something was bound to break one of these days. And she didn’t want to be alone when it did.

 

Logan laid back, pulling her down beside him, their shoulders touching as they both stared at the light pattern made by the lamp on the ceiling.

 

“So my intrepid reporter, why don’t you ask all those questions I can see flying through your mind?”

 

Rory’s hands fisted. She didn’t want to ask anything he wanted her to ask. It would change too much too soon. She wanted something he wasn’t willing to give and she had accepted that.

 

They turned to face each other in unison and Rory saw his red, bloodshot eyes focus on her.

 

He wrapped his arm around her shoulder pulling her onto her side, so her head rested on his arm and her eyes still met his.

 

He licked his bottom lip, whispering, “Don’t you want to know what it tastes like?”

 

That wasn’t what she was expecting.

 

She could still smell the drug on his breath, it permeated his clothes.

 

She struggled to sit up. He thought she was innocent too. How could someone who thought a person was so innocent pull her off the pedestal her family held her so high on?

 

Suddenly he wrenched at her. Lifting her and pulling her until she was straddled over his lap, his hands holding her wrists tight above his shoulders so she would have had to twist her neck awkwardly not to look at him.

 

She didn’t though, she stared right back at him as he stared up at her.

 

“I asked you a question.” He was still whispering, intimate even though his actions felt almost violent in his movement of her body.

 

“I know what it tastes like.” Rory leant in closer, her voice a whisper. She wasn’t as innocent as most people thought. Jess had smoked dope and she knew how it tasted on him. Even way back in time, when she had kissed Tristan at Madeline’s party. She had been innocent then, she hadn’t realised what she had been tasting. She was innocent in that she had never done drugs, but she wasn’t naïve. Not anymore.

 

“I meant do you want to know what it tastes like on me.”

 

Holding his eyes, Rory leant in closer and licked his bottom lip, following his lead from his initial question.

 

“It tastes bitter, rank almost.” Logan abruptly let go of her wrists, pulling her down to lean on her elbows, where she leant in licking along his jaw and biting lightly on his neck.

 

His hands moved to rest comfortably on the middle of her back. He was completely relaxed with her.

 

By now Dean would have been hard beneath her. She wondered if it was just that Logan had better control over himself or if it was the drugs. She wondered why she was noticing.

 

“Ask me a question, Rory.” He was whispering again and she replied in kind.

 

“What does it feel like?”

 

She wasn’t surprised at herself and her instant question. Rory wanted to know everything. Wanted to experience everything. But she was still on her pedestal and she wasn’t ready to fall that far just yet.

 

“What does what feel like?”

 

Rory buried her face into his neck, murmuring against his soft skin, “To not be perfect, how does it feel not to be perfect?”

 

“No one is perfect Rory.” His hand came up and buried into her hair, pressing her lips to his neck. “Do you think you’re perfect?”

 

“No.” She pulled out again to look into his eyes. “Definitely not.”

 

“Then what’s with that particular question?”

 

“Something my grandmother said today, comparing me to my mother. They all think I’m perfect…” She hesitated before dropping her eyes. “No matter what I do, I can’t shake that label of being the perfect daughter or granddaughter. Though my mother is cursing these college years as my rebellious years, she still thinks I’m the good one.”

 

“You don’t really have much to live up too to be the good one in your family Rory. Your mother was pregnant at sixteen.”

 

“I don’t want to be perfect in their eyes. It’s too hard. It hurts too much when I do screw up.” Rory shifted, sitting up and resting her hand on Logan’s chest. “I used to like being like this, I used to like being infallible in their eyes.”

 

“What happened?”

 

“Sex with Dean happened.” She shrugged. “I used to think that Jess was going to be my downfall, but it was nothing like what happened with Dean.”

 

“I thought you were dating him. How is having sex with the guy you’re going out with the end of the world?” Logan moved his hands to gently rest them on her knees, squeezing them softly when she didn’t answer straight away.

 

“He was married at the time. Not to me.”

 

Logan grunted. “Wasn’t expecting that.”

 

“Not so perfect now am I?” Rory fell, pressing her face back into his neck, not wanting to see the rejection on his face.

 

“Are you kidding? No one is perfect I told you, including you. You’re a snob, you’re judgemental and you think way to highly of yourself.” Logan ran his hands up her sides as the door downstairs slammed shut and they heard Colin and Finn calling his name. “Three things that mean you can’t be perfect.”

 

Rory moved up and looked into his eyes before crushing her lips to his. Logan rolled them so he was on top of her before he pulled away and stood up. “Wait here, Ace. I’ll be right back.”