You Know Your Patient is a Nurse when She/He....
...has a tattoo on her chest indicating
what Doctor ...can thread IV tubing through the armhole of a gown
...makes her own bed and her roommate's
bed if she can get to it.
...gets the Doctor on rounds to answer questions
...tells you that a visitor just took pills from your
...insist she's allergic to castor
oil and asks you to ...refuses an enema and isists it's
her right to do so.
...reads her chart to make sure no one wrote "obese"
on it. ...states she's been admited for
a "bilateral ...strolls over to the nursing station
to answer ...records I &O for herself and
her roommate.
...asks for food from the outside.
...apologizes for ringing the bell.
...asks if she is to be NPO tonight.
...uses her telephone to call the
nursing station if
...asks for an incentive spirometer.
...lists her pills generically.
...calls all the Doctors by their
first names.
...takes out her own IV or foley cath.
...calls out suggestions to the
code team when her ...brings a Living Will with her
on admission and ...takes her own pulse while you get her temperature.
...assesses you right back.
NOT to call if she is unconscious.
without making any knots.
before any quick escape.
unlocked med cart in the hall.
write it in bold print.
salpingo-oophorectomy".
phones when she's bored.
no one answers her light.
roommate arrests.
understands it.
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