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| Arrrrrrrrr Bit! |
| Something has disturbed me of late, a subject that on which the very foundations of my life are built. The shocking realisation pe-tay and I made whilst bored on the tube to Charing Cross has flipped my world up-side down. |
| Pirates rule the sea and hate the land...so why are they all shacked up in yorkshire?! |
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| Pirates! (arrrr)
God Damn! Pirates are so cool I sometimes think I might wet myself! They were the rappers of their day: fighting the PO-lice, getting jiggy with fly ho's, drinking and smoking and saying ARRRR! They even both hunted booty. Yet they had so many other cool features that I really feel is missing from the rappers of today, we're talking: Planks! Parrots! Crude prosthetic limbs! Eyepatches! The ability to sucessfully navigate the seven seas! That's why pirates are SO much cooler than rappers |
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| Arrrrrr!...and Mooo?
This is the shocking realisation, the pirates didn't all just die out in a blaze of glory and parrot feathers! Ohhhhhhh no! They SOLD OUT, Pirates are sell outs! They went to the laaaaaaand with all the rest of the "lubbers", and which noble coast did they settle on? hmmmm? YORKSHIRE! Bloody YORKSHIRE! What did they do in Yorkshire you ask? Rape and pilliage? Burn things down? Fire cannons at people? Fashion planks over small streams and estuaries? NO! They became farmers |
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| Farmaaaaaaaaaaaaaars!
That's right Farm-arrrrrs. You see it now don't you, just take your common sad-arsed farmer, chop of his leg, poke out his eye and give him a sodding parrot...that's it, you have a pirate |
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